The Legend of Zelda: The Chameleon Stone
by Lupi Loop
Summary: *COMPLETED YAY* The Legend of an unstable Link, a long-suffering Zelda and a special Ganondorf who loves Seeing Stones and baths with his Rubber Ducks, as they go head-to-head with a fallen goddess for the power to make dreams reality. mayhem & zelink
1. Letters of Introduction

**A mercenary on an impossible quest...a sage sent to stop him...a beautiful spy... and a King who will stop at nothing to gain the ultimate weapon...**

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Nayru, Farore and Din - the three Goddesses of Hyrule. Legends tell of how with their power, wisdom and courage they created the world itself and left in their wake the Triforce, hidden deep in the sacred realm. But behind this Legend lies another, deeper secret...the secret of the Chameleon Stone. Forgotten for centuaries, the Legend is about to be uncovered and the course of history changed forever...

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I don't own any Zelda characters. I do own this story!

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Chapter One

"_My name is Link. I am a warrior. I can help you. Perhaps! I am the only one alive with the courage to face what you fear. And the only one stupid enough to do so."_

There! Finished! Quill to parchment! Ink to wood! Done and, with a touch of sand on it, dusted. Now to send it post-haste.

Link sat back and grinned at his handiwork as he thought of rupees. Lots of rupees. Not that he was particularly greedy. Link sought a life where worn out clothes could be replaced, broken swords mended and a home where it was more than a tired little shack. Maybe he could be a farmer. With his rupees he could afford land on the West Hylian coast. Arable, fertile, _pleasant_ land. Maybe he would marry.

Link's dreams had never been grand. He had never known a grand or even an easy life. To him, life was an existence laboured out in the fiery desert sands and freezing desert nights. A pittance could be eked out guiding the odd and rare travellers who went between Hyrule and Termina through the colossal Gerudo Desert.

Not much could be earned in such a land; some of the nomads that lived their operated trading routes between the two estranged countries but for the most part the inhabitants were thieves.

Link had leant his skills from the people. The desert was filled with hungry, desperate animals who were more than willing to take the life of any man, woman, child or beast caught off their guard. The people that called it home were too wild and violent like their animal contemporaries. Fighting to the death was a common occurrence between them. Link himself preferred fighting to the point of proving his point (therefore humiliating his opponent rather than murdering him) and then walked away.

The nomads and vagabonds that inhabited the desert distrusted one another. Link especially. He did not fit in with their squabbling, yet strangely private lifestyles. He had not been born a nomad, nor had he been outcast from either Hyrule or Termina. He knew no family, or friends nor his purpose in life although he was sure that there was more to his life; more to the pointless existence he suffered. That is why he had answered the strange advertisement. He had been convinced it was an omen.

"**WANTED**!" it had said. Link had picked it up from the dry ground where it had been happily fluttering. Being a resident in a country where most of its populace were or were related to criminals it had caught his attention. He was eager to find out which inhabitant they were after this time.

He was disappointed. The flyer was not for anybody in particular sighed Link regretfully. His eyes quickly scanned the page. He looked first surprised and then amused. The flyer was after all for one inhabitant of the Northern desert. Link.

**WANTED**

**One brave and trustworthy warrior is required for the personal service of Impa, Rauru and Kru, Judges of Hyrule (under the guidance of our venerable high chief leader Judge Daphnes De Hyrule) Must be willing to face what could ultimately be his/her death. Rupees, and lots of them, are offered as a reward for your endeavours. Be certain to apply to Impa before the full moon sets.**

Link's ready humour was touched by the strange advert. Being a peculiarly reckless young man, and being thoroughly bored of his existence, he had instantly decided to apply to this "Judge Impa" whoever he was. Link glanced again at his note. He couldn't help but wonder what reaction his application would receive. He hoped it would be favourable. He had already planned out the various daring and courageous deeds he would perform whilst in the service of the Judges. Maybe he would even rescue a couple of damsels in distress along the way. All he needed now was a bird. Link sighed and stepped through his door into the world outside. For Link, getting a bird in a desert full of traders was a simple matter.

(Link's version of simple was maybe a touch biased for he had been living in amongst the desert people for a long time, in reality there were few people living that thought trading a pair of gauntlets for a cloak. Trading that cloak for some odd sized boots. Trading the boots for a bow - The bow for a shield - The shield for a sword - The sword for two daggers - Trading one dagger for a bird (he kept the other dagger for later use, he wanted his gauntlets back – after all he did live with thieves) was anything but their idea of simple. Link was not like many other people. In fact, he was rather unique.)

He watched the bird fly away with satisfied smile on his face. Now all he needed to do was await his reply. And get his gauntlets back. He had found his gauntlets most useful in his trades with the nomads. They were somewhat of a rare item in the desert and therefore (apparently) gauntlets were second only to rupees to the nomads and they could be traded for almost anything.

Link liked his gauntlets. He retrieved them quickly, with the aid of the dagger from the idiot he had sold them to. He pulled them over his hands and flexed his fists. His gauntlets could knock out a man with a single blow (when accompanied by Link's fist). His fist and his gauntlets had enjoyed many outings together in amongst the thieves. The nomads and thieves did not like Link much. He was too noisy, knew their sly, sneaky ways too well and could and would fight back at every opportunity. He always ended up with at least one extra item by the end of his trades and rarely lost a fight. Link could be just as sneaky as the best thief amongst them all.

And boy could he talk. He had the gift of a silver tongue. Even the most distrusting, sceptical man alive could be conned into believing anything Link said. He largely kept his gift-of-the-gab to his trades. Link's trades were legendary. His most famous exchange was when he managed to sell the most worthless piece of junk (no-one knew what it was then, it remains a mystery today) to a notoriously tight-fisted Hylian for a ridiculously high price. It was a feat recounted by the Nomads for many years after.

Link was a living legend - An unpopular, living legend.

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Impa read Link's application and sighed. She was worried about the whole idea but to pull the entire task off, they needed someone who knew little about Hyrule and would not question them. And out of all the outcast criminals, Link's application had posed the least threat to them. 

Impa couldn't help the regretful sigh escape her as she carefully penned her invitation to Link. She read it through and sealed it. The bird once again flew off in the direction of home. Impa watched it go, a furrow in her brow. She couldn't help wondering just what kind of man Link would prove to be. Her eyes once again read the note he had received. Impa would have to get Kru to examine the handwriting. Kru was an expert in his field and would read more from the message than mere words. He called for his counterpart.

Kru's aged eyes studied the words carefully. The words he used suggested an open and friendly persona. It also bespoke that this 'Link' had read more into the situation than they had intended to give away.

Impa watched Kru's hands as they carefully lifted the parchment up to the light (a chandelier made of six large candles). Kru muttered to himself; little mental observations about the paper and quill used. Finally he studied the letters themselves. Kru frowned slightly, as if confused not vexed.

Impa frowned also, Kru was an expert, his observations and predictions were uncannily accurate but he was _so slow_. Impa felt like tapping her fingers or making some kind of fidgety move but experience had taught her long ago about the foolishness of such action. It only distracted Kru, who would then have to restart his examination at an even slower pace.

Finally the examination was over. The page lay to rest on the old oaken table and Kru looked up.

"Well…?" Impa tried not to let her impatience show in her voice. Kru was very temperamental.

"I am all a quandary." Began Kru, his voice sounding grandiose and ancient and slightly pompous. "A very unusual matter is this. It puzzles my person somewhat."

Impa politely waited for the anticipated and forthcoming explanation to this mystery.

"You, Rauru and I quite clearly stated whence we decided and departed on this course of action that the man (or woman) to suit our purposes should, nay, must be a villain of some sort did we not? Why, we only notified villains and outlaws of our plans. We posted our notice, not to all eyes, but only to the eyes that saw in the Desert. You and I both know the many just and worthy reasons for our choice. Only a criminal or vagabond could do what we need him to do. This reply, and may I state this is not the only reply we have had for the lure of riches to any man especially those desert dwellers, is not from a criminal. Why do you think he is worthy of taking up our esteemed time?"

Impa had not really been listening to Kru, who had a tendency to waffle on about any chosen subject, was thrown by this query. Quickly gathering her wits together, she improvised a suitable response. Something along the lines of this man appearing to pose less of a threat to them than any of the other applicants so far.

Kru had superior knowledge. He crowed over Impa's inferiority. "Hah!" He snorted. He picked up the parchment and near pinned it to Impa's face with a bony finger. As the creamy blur swayed before her eyes, Kru sneered:

"This told me more than it could ever tell you. This man is more of a threat to us than any other man alive. Even a mass murderer with our names upon his death list poses less of a threat than this man does. Can you not see what is plain to me? This man will destroy us. It is as clear to me as if he had written it in words even you could read."

Impa removed the parchment and bony finger from her near vicinity and adopted a humble pose. Now she would finally hear the verdict on Link's promising letter.

"Kru, you would be doing my person the greatest honour if you would please inform me of your most excellent verdict on this man. I appreciate you have superior powers to my own. Your judgements, always incomparable is my law, my ears eagerly await them."

Kru's bony chest swelled in satisfaction. Impa ground her teeth. She hated sweet-talking the ancient idiot but she had to. Rauru said it must be so.

"The power I was granted by the stars as an infant has never yet failed me. Alas, my body may have dimmed from its former glory with the ceaseless passing of time, but my power grows only stronger…"

Impa had to listen to this little gloat every time Kru interpreted handwriting. As always, her ears switched off to the little self-appreciating praise. Impa referred to it as the "I'm so wonderful speech" and could almost recite it word for word.

Kru's overly shaken hand reached for the parchment. Impa checked the eyes. Yes water had drained from their dim blue depths, leaking all over his cheeks as he pondered the marvel that was Himself. Being such a great, wonderful, infallible person was too much for Kru. Reflecting on his own glory was always an emotional occasion for him. 'Finally the reading' thought Impa as she smiled in a convincingly over-awed way at her colleague. Her patience had worn thin. Much more of Kru's self-worship would have made her loose control. Already she itched to hit him!

"The lines read as such…A-hem. I am Link, I am a warrior, etceteras…etceteras, ah…here we are "stupid enough". That told me the writer is open and honest about himself. He is hardly a thief. To me it sounds as if he is insane! I should not wonder if this at least is true. Living in that desert is enough to affect any mans mind.

The parchment is old and of poor quality. The man lives in poverty. It has been wiped clean before being used. This suggests that he is at least a cleanly person.

The letters finally are neat and well written. Clearly the man has at one point been educated, although it seems to me that he has largely educated himself. The writing style is unlike any other I have seen. It does not follow the guidelines of any of the masters.

His name - "Link" -It is for a certainty a Hylian name. He was likely born of one of the Eastern, forest tribes. Why he is in the desert now, I cannot say, but I certainly do not recall hearing the name before in any of my courts. I remember all names. It is my role to condemn men to a life in the desert wastes. Whether he is a criminal in the eyes of the Gerudo, I do not know, nor do I care. The Gerudo desert is full of criminals anyway.

I perceive this man is intelligent, tidy, orderly and organised. He is hiding his true nature from us. I also see he is bored and desperate for release from his dull existence. He is no outlaw, vagabond or nomad. He is a threat because I believe we will not be able to trust him. We will never know truly where we stand with him, nor what his intentions are. The man is a mystery. That is all I can discern from this parchment."

"All?" Asked Impa, taken aback somewhat. She felt as if she already knew Link. Kru may have been a boring old fool but his work and skills were amazing. Half-laughing, Impa said, "You couldn't tell me what his appearance is like also could you?"

Kru allowed a brief smile to pass his lips. "My skill delves into personalities, appearances do not matter in life nor in science. It is the person you are that counts, not the person you appear to be. Looks may fade, but the heart of a man remains forever."

"You almost sounded as though you had personal experience of good looks then Kru. I take it that is not quite the case."

Kru glared at the underhand insult. It was true he had never been a pretty sight. "There are many legends of beautiful but doomed people but not many of the smart but less attractive ones." He muttered darkly, "As I say, looks have no import in life."

"But still it is pleasant to have an attractive face, not that you'd know about that of course, it gives one a feeling of great confidence in oneself." Impa smiled benignly at Kru, she was a relatively old woman now but in her heyday, she had been exceedingly attractive. Some of her cold arrogance, born from being admired from an early age, still shone in her red eyes. "You can give some lovely _unpleasant _looks though Kru."

Kru was about to retort an equally cleverly veiled insult to his antagonist when Rauru entered.

Both judges bowed their heads and acknowledged their leader, second only to Daphnes, Hyrule's chief judge. Out of the three judges he was the most stately and noble looking. He was leader because he was the most forthright of the judges and because he said so.

Rauru was rather on the plump side and, like his two counterparts, was well past the bloom of youth or even middle age. His skin was satin smooth and completely free from the signs of ageing, only his ring of silver hair and demeanor gave his age away. His mouth had a firm set to it and he had the mannerisms of one who would brook no opposition. Rauru however had a merry twinkle in his eyes and, despite his rather austere appearance, was the most approachable of all the Hylian Judges.

"Well, have we obtained a potential warrior yet?" He asked sternly.

Both Kru and Impa nodded emphatically. Kru did not mention the fact that he had voiced serious doubts over the warrior and Impa failed to mention that she had looked at only five of the possible hundred applications.

Rauru took a nearby seat and wondered what his companions were hiding from him this time. He smiled at each of them and continued in his rich, lazy voice "And did you not dispute over this warrior's worthiness?"

Kru and Impa shook their heads in unison.

"You did not? How odd." Drawled Rauru, the trademark twinkle appearing in the depths of his dark eyes. Kru and Impa failed to hear the irony in his tone. He yawned and asked the bickering judges to tell him all about their new champion.

Kru and Impa exchanged glances before they each began extolling the virtues of a man they only knew from reading a minimum of scrawled words on an old bit of parchment.

Rauru listened and pondered his friend's reasons for hiding so much from him. There was evidently much more Kru and Impa had realised about the man than they were willing to tell their leader. "So when do we meet this Link?" He questioned after he had allowed his friends to talk for far too long.

"We are expecting a reply soon, Rauru. We have only just responded ourselves. I should imagine that his bird will be back in the morrow." Answered Impa. Kru nodded in agreement.

"Very well, we shall reconvene in the morning." Stated Rauru. "May I peruse his application letter?"

Impa faltered for a moment before hurriedly searching on her desk, which was littered with quills and parchment. "Oh dear." She exclaimed. "I cannot locate it. I am very sorry. Kru, do you…?"

Kru caught the glance she gave him and smiled sadly. "I thought I returned it to you, I do apologise, I must have misplaced it…"

Both Judges appeared to be busy in searching for the application. Rauru watched them for a moment before standing and dismissed them with the words, "Come, our illustrious King requires our presence. I am certain that the message will be here in the morning along with the bird with his reply."

* * *

The next morning saw the Judges reconvened in the small room, Impa had tidied her desk and had skilfully lost Link's letter in the fire as she did. Kru had distracted Rauru by waffling about Link's many virtues, yet to be discovered. He just hoped that Impa got to the reply from Link before Rauru did. Just as he was thinking this, almost as if on cue, a scruffy looking bird appeared at the window. Impa recognised it and cursed as Rauru stood. He looked rather surprised by the bird's appearance. Clearly the man they were thinking of employing had very little or no money to his name. Rauru knew this was only to be expected for they had invited only thieves into their service, but now he realised the mans motives for service would be purely for greed. Hardly the most trustworthy or noble reason for doing what they had in mind. Rauru thought ruefully that what they had in mind was not really the most noble or trustworthy thing to be doing, but it was for a good cause. 

Rauru opened the window and the bird hopped in, glad of a rest. Rauru untied the string that bound the response from Link to the bird's leg and took the parchment. Kru and Impa watched the enigmatic judge's face as he read the reply. They noticed Rauru's eyes were laughing with more vivacity than usual. After what seemed to be forever for the two Judges, Rauru looked up. "Very interesting." He said dryly. Knowing Impa and Kru were most impatient to read Link's response Rauru, who was generally a benevolent man, cut short their suspense and handed them the bit of parchment. It read:

_One slightly dubious warrior at your command._

_Unfortunately having no food, money nor parchment left, I hasten to notify you that I shall await your arrival here. I shall meet you at the outskirts of the desert at a time and date decided by your superior selves. Do not fear for your safety in the desert, dress like me and you'll not even be noticed._

_Ever Yours (perhaps)_

_Link - Man of the Desert with no crimes to my name (that I am aware of)._

Kru and Impa read, and reread the note many times then exchanged puzzled glances.

"If you are wondering what he means by saying dress like him, it is that little self portrait on the other side of the parchment." Advised Rauru, chuckling slightly.

Kru turned the page and frowned at the artwork. The self-portrait was a rather humorous sketch. Link had dressed himself in the long flowing robes of a desert trader and had veiled most of his face with a Sheikah Like turban, so that only his eyes were showing. And he was pulling a face.

"Why did he send you such an, er, interesting reply?" Asked Rauru as he lazily eyed his fellows. "What did you say to him?" Impa and Kru shuffled their feet respectfully and looked at anything but Rauru. "Well…?"

The bird at that moment chose to squawk, signalling its readiness for departure. Rauru looked at the cheeky mammal and pondered over the likeness between it and Impa. "Oh, what is this?" He muttered as his sharp eyes noticed another piece of parchment attached to the bird's other leg. Rauru detached it and after one glance recognised Impa's fair handwriting (Elaborate, spidery and hardly legible). As ever, Impa had gone far in trying to impress Link's unworthiness on to one piece of parchment.

"As neither of you two want to recall what you spoke in letters to the man, I shall rekindle the flame of memory in you. A-hem." Rauru read the note in out a subtly insulting imitation of Impa's rather whining tones.

"_To the one who calls himself Link._

_We are the Judges of Hyrule. Upon careful perusal and analysis of your recent application, we have agreed that we should make your acquaintance. Naturally, being Judges, therefore important in the eyes of our fellow Hylians, we would not wish to travel abroad in the wasteland you deem to be your home. As Judges, we are quite aware of whom the inhabitants of that land are (having sent the majority of you there ourselves). We have agreed that you should come to meet us in Hyrule. We appreciate the hazards of travelling by day for convicted men so we are quite agreeable for you to meet us at night. We will of course bring our own guards, in case any of your "friends" deem it necessary to accompany you._

_You will be told of what we require of you when we meet, although, please do remember where the advertisement was posted. By that we mean - do not expect to receive a pardon in recompense for what you are to do. _

_As we clearly stated, the reward for your endeavours will be Rupees. I am sure that the amount offered will be sufficient for you to rule the roost, so to speak, in amongst your associates at your abode. Rupees are powerful things_

_We await a reply from you and remember please, you are dealing with three powerful Hylian Judges, Show a little respect for our station and authority if you please._

_Until Then,_

_Impa, Kru and Rauru – High Judges by appointment of High Chief Judge Daphnes De Hyrule."_

Rauru took a breath and finished with the words, "Dear me, no wonder the boy is so cheeky in his reply. And how dare you add my name to this dreadful piece of work. Rauru gave Kru and Impa a reproving look. "What made you so sure you could be so rude to a man you do not know? You judge too easily. I will reply to this message. A quill and parchment at once if you please." Kru handed a sheet of parchment wordlessly to his leader whilst in a similar manner; Impa handed over her own quill.

Rauru glared at the two Judges and slowly, and with Much thought began to write.

"_To Link,_

_Greetings, I am Rauru leader of Hyrule's secondary Judges. I sincerely apologise for my Associates previous letter. I am afraid that they view such impoliteness as an asset. However, let us please forgive and forget this foolish behaviour, which I disapprove of by the way._

_I write in response to your letter. I think you are quite correct to ask us to meet you, however may I suggest a more neutral meeting place than the venue you suggested. I believe the Old Tavern, North of Lake Hylia will be quite acceptable. _

_I have enclosed a parchment for your response, which I most eagerly await, especially so if it is as amusing as the last reply._

_I hope our paths cross very soon as I am looking forward to meeting you. I think you are exactly the person we are seeking._

_Sincerely Yours_

_Rauru."_

The letter was read aloud before the unfortunate bird was sent out once again. Rauru wondered what their mysterious warrior would make of his note. It was early evening when the response arrived. Rauru perused it eagerly.

"_Rauru." _It read.

"_Greeting returned! I must say – nice parchment, very rich! Your apology for your friends is accepted although personally I would not feel it necessary to apologise for such foolish oafs with nothing better to do than insult men who they do not know but believe to be inferior because they do not have rupees._

_I am quite willing to meet at the Old Tavern. Judging by the amount of time it takes my unfortunate bird to return to me, I would say you are quite a distance away from here. A good day's travel at least. I therefore suggest we meet four moons from now at the said Tavern. Please return my bird and any message you feel like sending as soon as you are able._

_Talking about the bird, I must go. One of my criminal neighbours it saying I stole, rather than loaned the beast and is demanding its immediate return. Alright, I must finish here. She does not seem to believe my tale that the bird escaped. My door will alas be broken if this barrage continues so I must end my note here. Don't worry about my safety; I can look after myself perfectly. _

_Criminally minded? Not at all._

_Link._

_Please note: the bird is borrowed, not stolen. Bear this in mind! And please would you give it some food and water?"_

Rauru was convinced he was going to like Link when they met. Kru and Impa after examining this example of the young man's state of mind were convinced they were going to meet a madman. Rauru quickly dispatched another reply.

"_Link,_

_The poor bird – how could you treat it so? You must think we judges are very lazy to need four days to travel to Lake Hylia but I shall disregard the insult. If four days is convenient to you, then we shall meet in four days. I sincerely look forward to it._

_Rauru."_

Kru and Impa disapproved but it was an unspoken rule between them that they would never disobey their leader. They contented themselves by looking mutinous and grumbling to each other. Rauru, who was preparing for their journey, ignored them.

They arrived at the Old Tavern the following night, ready to wait for Link. They were accompanied by their highly trained guards, who were both deaf and dumb and were also amazingly skilled. Such precautions were necessary for the three powerful judges. They did not know or trust Link yet but what they had to tell him – their plans and his commission – were for his ears only.

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_Okay, so chapter one is done. Let me know what you think. This is based on an original fiction I am working on, however, I thought the story might work in a Zelda setting. If you check my bio. you'll see I'm currently working on another story called 'Anything but ordinary' so updates may be a little slow on the Chameleon Stone. I just wanted to get feelers out and see what you guys make of this!_

_Also I wanted to give poor Link a character that wasn't all quiet and subservient for a change. Let me know if it's too OOC. If I get enough reviews, I will continue! (is that a promise or a threat - you tell me!)_


	2. Tassia

I'm so sorry it's taken a while to update this story. As I said in the last chapter, I'm currently writing another fic (Anything but Ordinary) and am concentrating more on that at the mo. Anyway, thank you to my sole reviewer SkullKing (I know a lot more of you read chapter one and liked it so **please review!!!** I love hearing from you and I don't even mind flames as long as they are constructive. I hope I didn't sound too desperate there! Anyway - I'll stop rambling now - chapter Two is up. PS This _will _contain essence of Zelink later on!

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Chapter Two

It was with an air of languid disdain that Tassia Ma Delainio (as Tassia as her more intimate acquaintances knew her) watched the world pass by. A woman of her station, wealth and beauty could easily afford such indifference. Such an idle life was almost a necessity.

She sat on a window seat, looking completely dignified despite the fact that she was sprawled comfortably on the long chair, one hand propping up her richly tanned face, the other delicately selecting the best samples from a plate of chocolates and popping them into her mouth. Through the leaded windows she observed the yard of the busy tavern, watching travellers come and go. Her heavy-lidded, lash laden amber eyes were half closed in utter boredom but they missed nothing.

Tassia's long fingers gently probed around the bowl of edibles until they located what she had been looking for – a truffle sweetened with honey and packed with hazelnuts and shrouded in chocolate. Her fingers slowly closed around her prize, her attention still fixed on the bustle of the yard, and lazily she lifted the confectionary to her mouth. Slowly and deliberately, the lady allowed the chocolate to rest against her quivering, plump lips for a moment before nibbling a tiny portion.

To watch Tassia eat chocolate was a rather interesting experience. For most men, it was possibly the most intriguing, attractive and almost indecent thing they could witness. Tassia licked her lips slowly and smiled to herself, getting the full pleasure from her favourite food before taking another careful bite. It was so delicious she could not prevent a tiny sigh of delight escaping her lips. Her left hand, which had so far been propping her chin up, now slid to her long chestnut hair.

She noted her head was still throbbing as she fingered the bruise she now sported. She did not really wish to dwell on the events that had led up to the injury. The memory was one she chose not to recall.

It had been her own fault, she decided calmly. She knew the consequences of her actions when she took the risk. She had just not envisaged being caught. For the briefest of moments the mask fell away and an unexpected tear fell from her golden eyes. This shocked Tassia back into her indulgent, idle mode. She ate another chocolate and sighed. There were many things in her life that had happened that she had never expected.

She wondered what her old friend would make of her now? Would he see beyond the flippancy and finery and still see Nabooru, his playmate, hiding behind those fashionably listless eyes? For that was who she was, Nabooru – daughter of Nadina and Bisano, a Gerudo and stranger in the land of Hyrule.

She acted her part well for Tassia was her favourite disguise. Tassia was the woman Nabooru would have been had it not been for _them_. An angry spark flashed in her magnificent eyes.

Time and time again she vowed to get revenge upon those who had destroyed her ambition. She knew how to accomplish this; all she lacked thus far was the opportunity. Nabooru's eyes veiled over again and returned to their languid study of the world below her window. Her ambitions were slowly being realised. When the time came, she would not miss her mark.

Suddenly she spotted something.

Her amber eyes narrowed as she watched the elderly man descending from his carriage. She sat up in her seat and altered her position slightly so she could not easily be seen from the window.

The man looked to be in his sixties. He had a ring of white hair and a thick beard. His face was round and good-natured but even from a distance it was easy to see the lines of stress that had marred his features. He was on the thin side, and was of smaller build than she had expected. He was clothed in purple gowns which had once been magnificent but were now faded and tattered. He was a testament to all that Hyrule had once been, and a living monument of what it had lost.

Tassia watched him intently as he made his slow procession across the courtyard. Although one could fault his appearance, and could mock at his fall from grace, one could never fault his graciousness in defeat. He carried his head as high as he had when he had been the most important man in the land. He was dignified unto the very end.

Tassia closed her eyes and cast a silent prayer to the gods to beg forgiveness for what had happened to this poor man before she abandoned her seat.

Her maid awaited her in her room – a young foolish girl who knew little of fashion and makeup but had her uses none the less. She bowed as Tassia walked past.

"He's here." Announced Tassia as she sat before a mirror.

The maid nodded and ransacked her mistress's wardrobe for a selection of clothes suitable for the occasion. Tassia surveyed her reflection for a long moment, smiling slightly.

Nobody would ever think she was just a little Gerudo girl. She looked like a duchess although her Gerudo ancestry was apparent. She was very proud of her heritage and did little to hide it. The Gerudo were a strong race – a matriarchal society and though they had many enemies, to their friends they were loyal to the end. In the land of Hyrule, she was uncommon. Her sunset-red hair and dark skin were striking and her large golden eyes and pouting red lips were attractive. She had been blessed with an excellent figure too.

She had learnt from a young age how best to use these assets.

As her maid scurried around, plucking dresses from their hangers, Nabooru untied her hair from its usual ponytail. She so rarely saw herself with her hair loose that the site made her laugh even more.

Her voice was rich and deep.

In a trice she tied her hair into a more traditional style, pinning it up with some magnificent ruby clips that had been a gift from her previous employer. She then applied heavy turquoise shadow to her eyelids and painted her lips a pale pink. Finally she cast her eyes over the dresses her maid had chosen for her and selected a pale turquoise robe, with a golden belt. She slid her feet into some matching sandals.

"You look magnificent." Commented the maid as Nabooru gazed at herself critically. Nabooru nodded in answer and smoothed down a fold in the dress. She hated the restriction of corsets and skirts after wearing the usual Gerudo dress of baggy pants and brassieres. But she had a job to do and to accomplish her goals she was prepared to undergo anything – even wear tightly laced gowns.

"It will do, I suppose." She said in the languid voice of Tassia. Her maid smiled and started packing the unwanted dresses back into the wardrobe. She was quite used to her mistress's changes in personality. She had seen many of the roles she had played, sometimes even taking her part in them and could be trusted to keep Nabooru's secrets.

Satisfied with her appearance, Nabooru placed a large ring on her middle finger and nodded to her servant. "Do not wait up for me, this will take some time." She advised as she made her ponderous progress towards the heavy oak door.

"Yes, my lady." Said the maid with a curtsey.

A smile flashed in Nabooru's magnificent eyes for the briefest of moments before it was lost in the wondrous golden depths of Tassia's boredom. A faint smile adorned her lips and her carriage became more stately and lethargic.

She was a consummate actress. She had to be. And she had to be absolutely perfect. One wrong move and she could blow everything.

With these thoughts in her mind but her face as serene as ever she made her way down the long, narrow stairs to greet her visitor.

* * *

"My granddaughter is missing." 

The old man sat uncomfortably in a high-backed chair near the fire. The room had been purposely darkened – the velvet curtains were drawn tightly closed and only a few candles had been provided for illumination.

Tassia sat opposite him, perfectly at ease in a similarly uncomfortable chair. At her side was a small table, on it a golden goblet filled with ruby wine. She barely took her eyes off her guest. It was clear that he found her scrutiny uncomfortable but she made no attempt to ease his distress.

The news that his granddaughter had vanished did not affect Tassia. He knew it would not. She had been recommended to him as a sell sword who had a talent for uncovering secrets. Of course she didn't care that his most precious possession had vanished into thin air.

"Tell me what happened." She stated. Her voice and face showed no emotion other than lethargy but he knew her reputation was fearsome.

"We…stopped near the old town…Kakariko." He began, his voice filling with emotion at the memory. "The horses were tired and I needed a break. There was an inn near the river so we decided to stay there."

"It is a perfectly respectable inn." Said Tassia smoothly. She allowed a tiny smile to break the disinterest on her face. "You are surely not accusing the innkeeper of any ill deed towards you?"

The man cringed at the callousness of her words. "No, no." He asserted. "The inn was, as you say, very respectable. It was quiet and…"

"I have been there before. I do not require a description." She interrupted ruthlessly.

The man gazed at her thoughtfully, perhaps wondering how she had become so heartless. Her golden eyes stared back at him, devoid of compassion. He did not fear her, although as a race the Gerudo did have a reputation for violence but he wasn't quite sure if he trusted her.

"Very well." He said at length. In the end, he had no choice but to trust her. There was no one else left to turn to. He had to find his granddaughter before that monster got his hands on her. The very thought made him visibly shudder. This spurred him on to speak, "We spent the night at the inn. The next day, whilst I was arranging payment my granddaughter went to walk in the village. She had her maid with her so I knew she would be safe. I waited for hours but…but…"

"She did not return?" Tassia finished the sentence for him. She studied his face for a long time, watching the tears of despair fall from his eyes, watching as he tried to control his grief. 'How many of your tears are for Hyrule?' She wondered as he silently wept. He had once been powerful, but he did not care for that. He had once been wealthy, but he did not care for that. He had once belonged to a country – a nation he had loved. But it had been destroyed. It was now but a shadow. He had cared for that.

"No… she and her maid vanished." Said the man finally. "Her maid was some days later with her throat slit." Although this visibly affected the man, Tassia remained unmoved.

"An assassins trick." She remarked. "And what of the lady herself?"

"I do not know." Wept the man. "I do not know what happened. Where is she? Is she alive?"

"I would imagine, given that she is your granddaughter she will be very much alive. She has a value even in a crippled nation like this. She is of no use to anybody dead" Tassia studied her nails for a moment allowing this grain of hope to sink in before saying in her coolest tone, "I will require payment."

"Yes, yes of course." Stammered the man. He was not easily intimidated but grief and distress had worn his stamina down to the point where he was easily broken.

Tassia named her price and he accepted without a blink. A deposit was paid in golden rupees and the man stood up to leave.

"Please…just find the child…find Zelda…" He begged as he bowed to his only remaining lifeline.

Tassia watched him steadily. She showed not what she was thinking. He left with only small hope and little faith. He prayed to the gods that somehow this Gerudo woman would win through; somehow she would find his most precious possession.

**

* * *

**Only when she heard the sounds of his carriage trundling out of the courtyard did Nabooru allow her mask to slip for a moment. A wry smile toyed with the corners of her mouth as she counted the money she had just received. She slid it into a small pouch and tied it carefully to her waist. 

Slowly she stood and stretched her tired limbs. She gulped the remaining wine down and sighed. She wondered how much Daphnes De Hyrule would have paid to know exactly where his granddaughter was at that precise moment. Or what he would have done to her had he known she was the one who had kidnapped his 'precious possession' and had murdered her servant.

Nabooru could have told him everything. She fingered the bruise on her head one more time and sighed. She knew she would not have told that poor man anything, no matter how much she had wanted to soothe his fears.

Her master had commanded her silence. Gerudo's were loyal to the end.


	3. The Three Judges

Sorry for the hiatus, I've been working on proof reading and getting my first real fiction ready to print so got a bit distracted by that. Arg. Anyway, this is the last chapter before the story kicks in (I/e the last dull chapter!) BTW, thanks to everyone that checked out my other stories. Remember to review.

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Chapter Three

"The Hylian Bass is one of the more common species. Its flesh is especially good when combined with the juice of one lemon, some oil and terminian sea-salt. It's natural habitat is lakes, such as Lake Hylia, although it has been found more recently in larger rivers. Of up most interest is the fact that its scales are iridescent and stronger than some metals, the average lifespan is twenty years although in captivity they have been known to live longer."

Impa ground her teeth. She wished there was a way to shut Kru up. He had been talking about fish for the last two hours. She glared at him. Oblivious to her annoyance, Kru pushed his bottle-top spectacles higher up on his nose with a finger and continued reading aloud from the mouldy book he had brought along as a little light entertainment on the journey.

"Isn't there any way to make this carriage go any faster?" She murmured partly to herself, partly to Rauru who was seated next to her. Rauru smiled at her but did not reply. Although he could not admit to finding Kru's conversation in any way interesting, he certainly preferred it to sitting like a gooseberry in between him and Impa, whilst they argued about anything and everything. Over the course of nearly twenty years of close companionship with the pair, he had learnt the art of being a peacemaker.

Unfortunately, sitting in the middle seat of a smallish, rather smelly carriage that jolted across badly worn roads was part and parcel of being the most benevolent of the three Hylian judges.

They had been on the road since dawn. It was now early evening. The only thing keeping Rauru's flagging spirits up was the thought that they were surely near Lake Hylia now. He hoped so otherwise he would throw Kru out of the carriage himself.

"The Zora," Kru's monotonous voice interrupted his thoughts, "Now they are something special. Although not yet recognised officially as a new species, they are certainly an interesting folk. There have been two recorded sightings of these fish-people in the last year, and whilst this suggests a tiny population, many scientists believe that there are hundreds of them hiding in our rivers. They are said to grow to heights beyond our own and are amphibious. Their skin is said to be as beautiful as moonlight and they are supposedly elegant and graceful. It doesn't say whether they taste good though. Then again, if they are intelligent creatures, should we even consider them as viable prey? What do you think, they certainly look edible - here, look at this picture!"

"I have no desire to look at any pictures." Snapped Impa. She thrust the book offered to her offended vision back at Kru.

"But just look." Urged Kru.

"No."

"It's very interesting."

"I don't care."

Rauru rolled his eyes and as the book came by his chest for the fifth time, he snatched it from them both. "You are behaving like children." He said as he closed the book and placed it on his lap. Sometimes he suspected that even the most stubborn of children would not behave as badly as his comrades.

"But the Zora are fascinating." Moaned Kru as his bony fingers reached towards the book. Rauru stopped him with a look.

"Hmph, I am not childish." Stated Impa as she crossed her arms across her chest and stared pointedly out of the window. The wide Hyrule field stretched to either side of the carriage. Torrents of rain lashed down and the clouds were so thick she could barely see the sun as it set.

She wondered if 'Link' would be at their rendezvous on time. She placed little faith in their newest recruit. In her opinion, all men were useless and lazy. If one wanted a job doing, one should do it oneself. The only problem with that theory was that she had no way of accomplishing her goals. Her face was easily recognisable in Hyrule. She had made herself notorious, seeking fame in her youth. Only now did it catch up with her. She did not regret her life one bit. She was wealthy and powerful. She had nearly everything that she wanted. She objected to placing her trust in a man she only knew from brief correspondence. If only she could have found that spy – Lia – or whatever her name was. There had been talk of her in Hyrule some months back. She had carried out an assassination on one of their people. Apparently an anonymous Gerudo had employed her. She had killed Daphnes daughter, Emaela. The methods used were subtle and even though Impa could not approve of the mission, she had been impressed.

Of course the spy had vanished. They had only known her name, or the name she had used at the time for there was no guarantee that it was her true name. Of course, they would recognise her if they saw her again, such beauty was not easily forgotten. Impa herself had spoken to the girl on many occasions and was surprised by her height and had been rather jealous of her shimmering black curls.

She would have been perfect for the job. But she had been untraceable and so they had to go to plan B and employ an unknown entity to do their dirty work. The only time that ever worked was when the said entity was a slave. She did not think this plan would work well. Especially with her comrades in charge - one was blindingly foolish, the other blindingly ignorant. She sneered as she looked out of the window.

* * *

Impa remained in stoic silence until after the three judges had eaten at the infamous Old Tavern. Their journey had not been the happiest of times together. Kru mourned the loss of his book (which Impa had eventually launched out of the window when Kru had managed to sneak it out of Rauru's grasp); Rauru had had his legendary patience stretched to the point of breaking when the ensuing argument had raged between his fellows and Impa had sulked in silence when Rauru pointed out how inane the said argument was. They arrived in stony silence, neither speaking to the other.

It was thanks to the wonderful quality of the service and standard of food provided by the innkeeper Kafei and his wife Anju that eased the tensions between them.

"Have you any other visitors at this time, Innkeeper?" Asked Impa as she sipped on her after-dinner wine. If this form of demeaning address offended Kafei he did not show it. He merely bowed and said, "The Inn is a popular one, ma'am. As a policy I do not disclose the names of any of my visitors to any other party."

Impa glared at him and he smiled back peacefully. "I demand to know the answer from you!"

Kafei bowed again, "I am desolated to disoblige you, my lady, but I will not disclose any information to you."

"Don't you know who we are?"

"Yes."

"Well, I demand the answer to my question."

"You may demand as much as you like but you will not get the information you desire from me. I am sorry but that is my policy."

With a final, respectful bow the innkeeper withdrew from the room leaving two of the three judges fuming. Impa was offended, Kru was annoyed with her for mishandling the situation, and Rauru was thoughtfully contemplating the contents of his wine goblet.

"Now what? We don't know if that idiot has arrived yet." Muttered Impa. Kru instantly retorted that it was all her fault. Rauru continued scrutinizing the contents of his goblet.

"I am sure if and when our friend arrives, we will be informed of the matter." He said calmly.

"It's all very well and good you saying that, you always think the best of everybody!" Exclaimed Kru, turning his frustration towards the one man who never appeared to get frustrated. "That innkeeper is hiding something, we must discover what it is."

"And how do you propose to do that?" Asked Rauru. "You cannot sneak around the inn, looking in each room. People have a right to their privacy and it is admirable that the innkeeper is willing to be so devoted to his guests' interests."

"It is not admirable. It is irritating. He is an disrespectful, uncultured slob." Announced Impa.

"He is none of those things." Rauru smiled at her irritation. "He is a discreet man. You just think ill of him because he would not bow to your request. You must know that not everything you demand can be given to you."

"We could sneak a look at their guest book." Said Kru. Apparently he had not heard the last few minutes of conversation and was still planning on discovering the inn's secrets.

"You must not do that." Said Rauru hastily. Really his fellow judges were getting out of hand. "What would they think when they caught you?"

"What do you mean 'when they caught you'? I wouldn't get caught!" Retorted Kru.

"You would. You're about as subtle as an elephant." Snapped Impa. "I could do it."

"I have said that nobody will attempt to do such a thing. Now, unless you wish to directly go against my wishes, I request that you refrain from doing anything that would make us more notorious than we already are. We have already created a stir by coming here. We must not let King Aganhim suspect a thing." Rauru visibly shuddered at the thought of that monster as their king.

"I know that." Snapped Impa, irritated by the way Rauru was yet again talking to her as if she was one of his students. "I am merely wary about our surroundings. How can we trust this innkeeper if he won't even reassure us of our safety."

"We can't, of course." Said Rauru, "We can trust him though. You should learn to trust people more, Impa."

Trusting people more was one thing Impa was not prepared to do. For the second time again, she folded her arms across her chest and pouted.

**

* * *

**The undercurrent of hostility ran between Rauru and Impa for the rest of the evening. Even Kru, who was normally so lost in his own greatness, began to notice the tension. If anyone fell out it was he and Impa, Rauru had never before angered her so. Kru wished he still had his book on fish to keep him occupied, for then he would have an excuse for not paying any attention to either of them. 

Kru distracted himself with thoughts of how soon their sell-sword would appear and what he would be like when he arrived. His expectations were low. The mercenaries they had hired in the past had not exactly been noted for their glorious victories. In fact, they had been lucky to be still alive at the end of their adventures. Only Rauru had faith in their latest recruit. Kru personally believed that they had hired an escaped lunatic, and he knew a lot about them.

Impa, he knew, thought that the mercenary would be less than useless. Then again, she thought anybody not female was less than useless. She should have been a Gerudo, thought Kru with a slight smile. He was not brave enough to make that suggestion to her. Being of Sheikah descent, the very word Gerudo was a profanity to Impa. Kru always thought it odd that such a strong feminist would dislike such a powerful matriarchal society with such passion.

They had arrived at the inn a day early for their assignation with the so-called Link. Of course, thanks to Impa's intervention, they had no idea if he had arrived yet. They had booked a private sitting room and had requested not to be disturbed. The innkeeper may not have shown them any respect when dealing with their demands but he certainly was capable of leaving them be.

Without the prospect of even getting to stare at the innkeeper's pretty wife, Anju, Kru foresaw a long, very long evening ahead. He looked over to where Rauru and Impa sat at opposite sides of the fire, each politely ignoring the other, and sighed.

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_tell me what you think! Press that little review button! PS sorry if Impa is OOC but didn't she strike anyone else as slightly grumpy?!_


	4. She's a dog!

Before I start I'd like to thank **Guntou, Super Goat Grl **and** Liquid Soul** for your reviews. Also I'd better apologise for making Impa a little grumpy, and childish. I promise she will be nicer in future! Anyways, onwards with the tale. Please do review, reviews make me happy!!!

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Chapter Four

The wind howled around Link's head as he made his steady progress towards the lights of the inn he could just about make out in the distance. His long cloak swirled around his body and occasionally smacked his legs as if encouraging him to move faster. To be fair, he was already moving pretty fast. The night was cold, it was wet and windy, and he didn't really want to be a target for the elements for any longer than he had to.

He had not walked the whole way. Being Link, and therefore being resourceful, he had managed to cadge a lift with a very pretty ranch owner for most of the journey. He had made up some story about falling on hard times, which when added to the simple entreaty in his eyes and mixed with just the slightest hint of flirtation in his voice had won the girl over without a great deal of protest. She had even offered him a room for the night, which he had declined. He did not want to be late for his meeting with the judges.

He whistled a jaunty tune as he marched forward. Not once did he regret his decision to come to Hyrule, nor did he think about the cosy little ranch he could have stayed at overnight (Providing the girl's father had not objected to the plan). He did not even mind that the ground under his feet was thick with mud, his hair was sodden and plastered to his face and that his boots had developed yet another hole. In fact, these things only added to the adventure in Link's eyes. He thought it was fun.

He always had been a little bit odd.

At his side, ears and tail both firmly down and fur as sodden as the ground she stepped on trudged his pet dog. At least Link insisted she was a dog, but most people who had ever come into the said animal, especially if they caught her at a bad moment, insisted she was in fact a wolf. For starters (they would say), her fur was rough and thick, her muzzle long and powerful and her eyes a curious pale blue. She was unnaturally inquisitive, highly intelligent and was intensely loyal to her owner. She had wolf-like markings too and preferred howling to barking. Her head almost reached Link's waist and her paws were huge. She was docile enough as she plodded along and occasionally she raised her head to look up at her master.

Even travelling at their quick march, it seemed to take forever to actually reach the inn. Link rapped his knuckles against the old oak door and continued humming to himself. Out of habit, the dog stood behind him. Link had discovered long ago it was better for people not to see his pet before he had successfully arranged accommodation. He wondered idly if the farm girl would really have let him and his pooch stay the night. She had appeared to be a little frightened of his pet.

After a short pause the door was opened a fraction. This occurred right after some cold rain had finally managed to trickle down Link's back making him shudder. He removed his cap politely as he realised he was being observed. It was the landlord's wife, Anju. She seemed to be rooted to the spot, looking at a point just beyond Link's shoulder.

Seeing as he was a polite soul, Link bowed to her (in the process allowing yet more freezing cold rain to slither merrily down his back). "Hi, you're expecting me." He said cheerfully as he stood up again.

Anju hadn't moved. Her eyes were still transfixed on the spot just behind him.

"Um, good evening. May I come in?" Link waved one hand to and fro in front of her eyes. She blinked and then focussed on him…for a second before her attention was dragged back to the thing behind him. A huge beast with raging blue eyes and masses of shaggy fur lurked in the darkness just behind his legs.

"N-no…" She stammered.

"No? But I've booked!" Link looked slightly confused, "I sent a carrier, um, bird thing two days ago and you responded saying you would be absolutely delighted to have me stay in your inn and that you would prepare the best chamber in the house for my own personal edification." He leaned against the door frame and widened his eyes to their fullest and cajoled her saying, "You've not forgotten have you?"

Anju, thus confronted with a sopping wet, baggage laden, blue-eyed male, who seemed to have developed the largest, most beseeching eyes she had ever seen, whose bedraggled hair was hanging over his face in ropes and whose nose was red with cold, opened the door a little more. As a reward for this act of generosity, Link grinned at her.

The door opened a little wider involuntarily. "You have a room booked?" She asked blankly.

"Yes. I am staying courtesy of the wonderful judges Rauru and company. They're going to pick up the tab - aren't I lucky!"

Anju took stock of the man standing before her whilst her mind rapidly conjured up images of the resplendent judges currently occupying her three best chambers. One eyebrow rose involuntarily. "You are their guest?" She repeated.

Link shuddered as more rain dribbled from his sopping wet head down his back. Still he managed to smile, "Yes. They have arrived, haven't they?"

"Um… they are here." She eventually admitted.

"Great, then can I see them, please?" Link smiled again and clutched his cap to his chest in a very urchin-like manner. It hadn't taken him long to notice that the landlady was heavily pregnant. Behaving like a child in such a situation was sure to appeal to her. "Or if I can't see them, can I at least step inside of this torrent whilst you ask if they wish to see me or not? You see, I've had a very long journey and it's rather late and I am getting hungry and you know…"

Anju gazed blankly at him at this torrent of words washed over her. Link chattered on in a similar vein, wearing down her defences until she finally admitted defeat and opened the door wide enough for him to just about step inside. Link shot her a grateful smile as he passed by and then whistled his dog. Anju took a few steps back as the huge animal trundled in happily after her master.

"Um, we don't allow… pets…" She began, all the while her eyes fixed in fascinated horror on the beast.

"You don't? Oh, Amber is fine – she'll cause no trouble, I promise!"

The dog, on hearing its name cocked her ears and glanced at her master and then immediately continued her intense olfactory examination of Anju's legs. Given that the dog's square nose was dangerously close to her stomach and that it had already doused her in freezing cold rainwater when she had shook that massive coat of hers Anju took the view that the dog was trouble. Big trouble.

"I am sorry, sir, but we really do not allow pets of this nature into the establishment…" She began firmly enough but then when confronted head on by the fierce ice-blue gaze of the dog and the pleading sky-blue gaze of the dog's owner, Anju lost momentum.

"It's only for one night." Said Link, accompanied by his most winning smile. "And she's a good dog, I promise. Aren't you, Amber? Who's a good dog?"

Amber's huge bushy tail wagged placidly as Link spoke, her eyes fixed intently on her master. Link stroked her ears and patted her head.

"Dog?" Link heard Anju's whispered expression of disbelief and grinned at her. "Sure, why not. Amber's just really big dog, that's all. And she's harmless, aren't you, Girl?" He explained as he itched the dog's snout and she flattened her ears happily. Anju had certainly never seen a dog like that before. "Anyway, ma'am, weren't you going to tell the judges that I have arrived?"

Anju was beginning to feel giddy with the constant subject changes. A hand went to her head. On seeing this, Link became apologetic and made her sit down on a nearby settle. As a comfort, Amber rested her huge head on Anju's knees. The landlady managed a nervous smile at the pair but couldn't quite keep the fear from her eyes. And she was convinced that the wolf would sense her fear and turn on her and…

"I'm so sorry for keeping you standing." Said Link as he took her hand and kissed it lightly. "Really, in your condition you should be resting. What is your husband thinking letting you answer the door this late at night? How many months pregnant are you?"

Anju definitely felt as though her head was whirling now. On the one hand, she was responding to her visitor's solicitousness, on the other she was reacting to the very dangerous pet that accompanied him. "Um, eight months and two weeks." She answered, her eyes fixed warily on the dog whose head was still in her lap and was thus crushing the life from her limbs. She wondered if being in mortal fear could induce labour.

"Wow, and you are still up and about running this inn. You are incredible." Said Link with no trace of insincerity in his voice. "So, is it busy this time of year?"

"Business is so-so." She replied automatically, her eyes still focused unwaveringly on the dog. Amber sighed happily and wagged her tail slightly. Evidently Anju's knee made a nice pillow and she was perfectly happy resting there until her master said otherwise.

"I'll bet you get all manner of strange people staying here." He remarked as he cast his eyes around the entrance hall. He ignored the pointed look Anju gave him at this comment. It was a very old timbered building. The floors were uneven, the walls slanted and the ceilings were low. Oak timbers, darkened with age, ran the length of the hall and decorative lanterns hung in chains in each corner, offering light to the otherwise gloomy prospect. "This Inn's been here forever."

"Yes, it dates back about four-hundred years." Anju gazed around fondly at the hall. She loved the old place – the history, the architecture, the secrets. Link could see that love in her eyes and knew that if he wasn't careful he'd have to listen to a full blown account of the life and times of the Old Tavern, Lake Hylia, Hyrule.

"How many guest can you accommodate?"

"Hm, four." She answered.

"So you've got one spare at the moment?"

"No, we're fully booked." She admitted before realising what she'd just let slip.

"Oh, so who is staying other than the three wonderful judges, or is it just that you've reserved my room for me already."

"A Gerudo lady." Said Anju, distracted by the fast pace of Link's conversation, that and the massive dog that had taken her knee to be a pillow. "She's here with her maid but plans on leaving tomorrow."

"So she's got my room." Link mused; a glint of mischief lit his eyes as he glanced at Anju. She looked thoroughly distracted now and slightly guilty for revealing such information. He wondered if he knew the Gerudo. Having lived in the desert for much of his life, he knew the names of many of the important matriarchs. Only the highest-ranking officials were allowed their own servants. "What's her name?" He asked casually.

"Tassia." Anju answered again without thinking. All she seemed to be concentrating on was not making any sudden movements, which might provoke the animal currently dozing on her knee.

"Tassia, eh?" A singularly impish smile passed over his face. Anju saw the look and hastily stood up. Dog or no dog, she had to get out of this man's presence before she revealed any more of her guest's secrets. "I'll go speak to Rauru for you, er, what is your name?"

"Lord Link Eipough."

Anju couldn't help but allow her eyes to run over Link's apparel. His cloak was patched in many places, his boots had almost faded to white and his leggings were travel stained. She knew a lord when she saw one. She didn't see one in Link. "Right, um, Lord Link. Stay here please."

For a pregnant woman she can move really fast thought Link as he leaned back on his chair. Amber flopped down at his feet, resting her heavy head on his travel worn boots. Link smiled to himself, if he didn't know any better, he would have said she was running away. He only wished he could see the judges faces when she announced his name.

* * *

Hope you are all enjoying a slightly...um...cheery Link(ee-poo) and his little pet. Please tell me what you think! Press that review button! 


	5. A Secret Mission

This will be my last update before the holidays hit us, so '**happy holidays**'to all you lovely readers. Many thanks to Mikure for the review!

This chapter is in memory of my own pooch Robbie, who had to be put to sleep on Monday. And if that don't make you send in a sympathy review – nothing will!

ENJOY!

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Chapter Five

Impa leaned back in her chair and stared into the fire. In one hand she held a letter from Daphnes. She glanced at the note again and sighed. Opposite her, snoring gently was Rauru. Kru had long since retired for the night. She had not yet decided whether to share the latest news from their esteemed leader with her fellows. It would alter their plans drastically if they knew…

There was a knock on the door. Impa carefully folded the note before allowing the landlord admission into the private sitting room. It was the landlord, Kafei. He bowed respectfully to her. Impa smiled slightly as she saw his eyes flick towards the sleeping Rauru. She saw the briefest glimpse of amusement in his eyes before they returned to her face.

"Your honour, are you willing to see Lord Link Eipough yet?" He asked.

Impa considered his words carefully. Really, she knew she should wait until the morning, when Kru and Rauru were awake once more but on the other hand, a more pressing need had arisen. If she saw him alone, then her fellows would be furious but if she didn't…

"Where is he?"

"In our parlour, flirting with my wife." Answered Kafei. Considering his words, he seemed to be smiling at the thought.

"Flirting?" Impa repeated the word faintly. She sighed and glanced at Rauru. He always managed to fall asleep at the most inopportune moments and waking him was a feat for which the most potent of magic was needed. "What is he like?" She asked, part of her hated gossiping with such inferior people as a mere innkeeper, whilst the other side was desperate to know what she was letting herself in for.

"He is… unusual." Replied Kafei. He could sense Impa's reluctance to gossip and he had his own reputation to maintain. He and Anju had long established status of being trustworthy confidantes. It was not in his nature to discuss his guests with others. However, he knew it would be worth his while to be a little open with this Judge. Impa could be generous and they were moving into the winter season – a notoriously meagre time of year. Impa raised her eyebrows slightly and Kafei coughed. "He is not what you'd think, Ma'am."

"Is he…strong?"

"I don't know. It is hard to establish what he is – he is like an urchin."

"An urchin? He is young then?"

"He is barely my age, ma'am." Replied Kafei, who himself was in his late twenties. He was getting increasingly uncomfortable. "He is not like I expected from your description."

Impa considered this for a long moment, one slender hand playing with the fringe of her silver hair. Her eyes looked troubled. Kafei was surprised to see these signs of agitation. Impa was notoriously apathetic and cool in all circumstances. Kafei took another surreptitious glance at the note in her hand and wondered if that was the cause of her tension. Unconsciously, Impa's gaze followed the path taken by Kafei's eyes. The note in her hand changed all of their plans. For the first time in a long time, she was uncertain of what to do. If only Rauru could be woken then she would have consulted him. She glanced over at him and was not surprised to see that he was still snoring, and his mouth was still slightly agape. He would not wake.

"I will see the child." Decided Impa aloud.

Kafei was relieved to hear this. Although he thought his guest was amusing, he had not wanted to house his…pet. The thought of his 'dog' still lounging in front of the fire in his parlour made Kafei shudder slightly. Amber had decided to take residence on the hearth and, after one glare from the dog's golden eyes, neither he or Anju had dared disturb her, even though she was effectively soaking up all the heat pouring from the fire.

"Shall I bring him up here?"

"No, I will go to him." Announced Impa. She did not want Rauru to wake up (if by some miracle it was possible) and discover her transacting business on his behalf.

"Very well." Said Kafei. His attitude did not hint at what he was thinking which was namely whether or not he should warn the Judge of what awaited her downstairs. He decided not to, thinking along the lines that the poor thing would be startled enough by Link's appearance to worry about his dog. At least he hoped she would be. And besides, he didn't want to allow the beast access to the best rooms in the house. From what he had witnessed so far, the dog would decide that she deserved to sleep on one of the guest's beds. Kafei shuddered again at this thought and led Impa in silence down the narrow stairs.

**

* * *

**Link sat on the floor, quietly stroking Amber's head. She was oblivious to the fact that her fur was starting to smoulder. Link saw this and prodded her gently to make her move a little. The dog sighed happily and stretched, evidently happy basking in the glory of fire after her long, and decidedly damp, day. 

"If you wish to catch fire, that's your choice, Pooch." He said cheerfully, "However, I think you look better with fur." With these words he pulled the dog away from the hearth and, before she could react, took her place with his back to the flames. The dog glared at him. Link pulled her ears gently, "Besides, it's my turn to get warm!" He explained glibly. He glanced up at Anju and smiled. She could not stop herself responding to this and smiled back. She leaned back in her chair, both hands massaging her huge stomach and was about to continue their conversation when there was knock on the door.

Without waiting for a response, the door opened to reveal Kafei and, to what seemed to be to Link, a disproportionately tall, skinny woman with short silver hair and brown-red eyes. She wore a tight tunic and short breeches. His eyes widened slightly and he jumped to his feet. Amber, responding to his sudden motion, stretched and slowly stood.

Impa took one look at Link and then found her eyes drawn towards the creature standing at his side, hackles raised slightly. She raised her eyebrows and a slight smile appeared on her mouth. She dismissed the curious Kafei and Anju. She waited until the door had closed behind them before turning her attention back to him. Her smile faded slightly as she addressed him, "Who are you?"

"My name is Link."

She allowed her eyes to travel slowly over his figure but her expression remained aloof. A silence followed.

In an exasperated tone, Link continued, "Link – that is my name. I have come to demonstrate why I should be employed. We arranged this meeting, remember?"

Silence.

"You do remember, don't you?" He asked, laughing slightly. He was slightly confused by her attitude. The way she was watching him was unnerving, she remained perfectly silent and still, her arms folded across her chest and a sneer on her face. Link gave a frustrated grunt and from his backpack he drew an old, well-used short sword. He parried an imaginary foe before holding it to her, "You did want to hire a sell-sword, didn't you?" He asked, "That is what I am, and I am the best you could get."

This didn't win a response.

Link sighed and began twirling the sword, thrusting, blocking and parrying an imaginary foes sword, all the while tapping a rhythm out on the floor as he heralded that:

"I can dance the dance of death,

I can parry the sword of doom.

I can fight a thousand men

In the shadow of the moon

I can spin, dodge, parry, thrust

Make my foeman taste the dust

I shall bring him to his knees

I shall heed not his pleas

I fight for gold,

Say what you think

A warrior born –

My name is Link!

After bowing extravagantly, he looked up at Impa, who eyed him stonily. Still a deadly silence reigned over all in the room.

Link ran a hand through his hair, "Good gracious, what must I do to make you smile?" He asked with his most winning grin. "I presume your are either Impa, Kru or Rauru. My guess is Impa. Am I right?"

Impa indicated her assent by inclining her head a touch. Link's grin widened. If she was hoping to depress his spirit, she was not having much luck. "Great, well allow me to advise you, Madam Impa, that I really am the best mercenary you'll ever come across. Not only do I have fabulous sword skills, I am surprisingly good at keeping secrets too and I won't ask questions. How does that sound? If you don't employ me, you'll regret it forever!"

Finally breaking the silence Impa said in a cold voice, "I believe, Sir Link, as you call yourself, I did not seek to employ a court jester."

Link's blue eyes flashed in sudden annoyance, "Heed my words, Madam Judge, I have not come all this way to amuse you. I came here for work. Try not to concentrate on my outer appearance."

Impa snorted in laugher, "Your appearance? Try not to laugh? Have you glimpsed yourself recently? It is nigh on impossible not to laugh at you." She saw Link's eyes narrowing dangerously and smiled slightly. "Come, child, do not be offended. You can hardly expect me to take you seriously when you look like a beggar."

"I might look like a beggar." Admitted Link, his eyes were still flashing dangerously, "But I assure you I am no such thing. The way I live has shaped the way I look but it has also sharpened my wits. I am a soldier of the late King Osira of Calatia. I was trained from the age of five as a knight and it was only after his untimely demise that I was forced into poverty. For these last five years I have eked out a living, surviving on what I could steal or kill. If you want a warrior that seeks only riches and asks no questions with the ability to turn a blind eye to what his employers do, then hire me! I fear nothing; no task is too great for me to tackle. I am only interested in how much you will pay me. If you offer me a good wage, I am yours to command."

Impa considered these words. Her eyes did not leave his face. She could see he was honest. And they needed an honest warrior who would not question them. And if he _had _been trained as a Knight of the deceased King Osira, then he would be lethal. If his silence could be bought, then he would be a valuable asset. "If you can prove your credentials, then the job is yours." She said coolly.

Link smiled and rolled up his tattered sleeve. On his left arm was a brand mark – the outline of an eagle with its wings spread wide, carrying a sword. Impa's eyes widened , she touched the cold scar and then smiled to herself. The mark could not be forged for it was created through a spell that only the deceased King Osira had known. She was a little surprise to find he had told the truth. She raised her eyes to his. "To think that we have found the last Knight of Calatia, you are the _Free Sword_?" She murmured. "We are fortunate."

"Free Sword?" Link repeated the name slowly. "I suppose that was my name once." He smiled, "It was a long time ago. King Osira named us all ridiculously in my opinion! After some old song or other. So, am I the last of my kind then?"

Impa's fingers still rested on the brand mark. "You are the last Knight. The other's have been executed." She smiled a little grimly. "I did wonder what happened you. Are you truly as fearless as your reputation suggests?"

"My reputation? I wasn't aware I had one." Laughed Link.

"I refer to the combined reputation of the Knights of Calatia." Replied Impa dampening his spirits. "You are supposed to be fearless, cunning warriors who will stop at nothing to accomplish their goals."

Link shrugged. "Oh that! I was trained from being a child to be afraid of nothing. We all were. I suppose I don't think about it anymore. We had our fears beaten out of us. Anyway, we digress – you said if I could prove my credentials, I could have the job. I have done, so am I employed? And if so, how much will I be paid?"

"Are you not interested in what way we require your service?" Impa found it a little hard to believe that he was only interested in the amount of rupees he could amass.

"Nope." Link grinned at her. "I thought I told you – I'll do anything for money. I'm quite desperate you know. And you must know, I am fearless – I've been trained to be. Nothing you can throw at me is too much trouble."

"How about murdering a King?" Asked Impa.

Link blanched slightly at this but maintained his smile. "Providing there is a good reason for the said deed, I will do it."

"Good. Very well, you have the job, Sir Link. And for your information, there is an excellent reason for my request. This is what I require of you..."

As she told him her plans, Impa thought of the contents of the note safely stowed away in her pocket and silently prayed to the gods that she was doing the right thing.

**

* * *

**Outside the door, Tassia stood. She had heard all she needed to. She smiled at Kafei and Anju and nodded to her servant. The girl withdrew the sword that had been pressed firmly against Anju's stomach. Tassia smiled beautifully and tossed a bag of rupees towards them. 

"I thank you for your assistance." She murmured, "King Ganondorf will be most grateful." She glanced at the door and smiled again, her golden eyes glinting and then, with a twirl of her long cloak, she was gone. Her servant with her.

* * *

Sorry I couldn't get the poem formatted properly. Meh. Anyway - SEASONS GREETINGS! Send some Christmas Cheer my way and review! You know you want to!

P.S. (according to Wiki) In the manga Link is said to have come from a place called Calatia, there you go, some random trivia!


	6. A King and his Captive

Happy new year to all my lovely readers! I hope you enjoy this latest chapter. If I could do a poll, which I can't at the mo, I would ask who you'd prefer to have as a baddie - Ganondork or Aginhim? You could review to let me know!!! Which reminds me, **PLEASE REVIEW!!!** Or I might stop writing this...

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Chapter Six

Always cold, always dark, always dismal - that was the way King Ganondorf liked his throne room. The two torches which served as the room's sole illumination stood one on either side of his throne. Crimson and black velvet drapes, covered in cobwebs and grime, hung from the ceiling, their once vibrant colours dimming with an age of neglect. The floor was heavily carpeted, so that no sound could disturb the silence of this most sombre chamber.

In the dim torchlight, Ganondorf's eyes glittered maliciously. He appeared to be deep in thought. A smile passed over his thin lips, making him appear even more malevolent.

Suddenly he clicked his fingers. The tiny sound was as loud as a trumpet call in the eerie stillness of his world. A female soldier, clothed in traditional Gerudo garb appeared before him and bowed low, awaiting her master's orders. Hidden in the shadows of the room, all Ganondorf's elite guards stood to attention. They were also waiting to hear his bidding.

To his Captain kneeling before him, the King spoke. His voice was as cold and dark as the throne room from which he reigned. "Fetch me the girl."

Saluting smartly, the Captain fled to do her master's bidding. As soon as the door had clicked into place softly behind her, Ganonforf turned to his other guards. "Make yourselves scarce. She must not know you are here." He commanded. He heard the rustling of cloth and faint footfall as his black-clothed army slipped into the forbidding darkness of the room.

**

* * *

**

In her room, Zelda sat at the barred up window dreaming of escape. She looked through a tiny hole in the wooden bars onto the vast world below her. The white marble of the castle walls shone blue in the light of the full moon. Below her, courtyards and overgrown flower gardens graced the vast castle grounds. Beyond that lay the spralling hub of Castle Town, although at night it was rather quiet. And beyond the massive city gates lay Hyrule field and freedom.

No other light shone in the castle windows that night. This dark place was her prison. It had once been beautiful but was now decaying with neglect. Zelda sighed, for she hated to see beautiful things spoiled.

She recalled that once the castle had belonged to a great king. During his reign, the castle had been filled with light and happiness. But that had been long before she was even born. In her life there had only ever been King Ganondorf in charge of Hyrule and it was King Ganondorf that had imprisoned her. The assassin that had killed her maid and trussed her up in such an undignified manner made sure she was aware of who her real captor was. But she knew not why she had been singled out. She sighed miserably as she heard the sound of the guard's footsteps approaching.

She knew that she would have to face her daily ritual of greeting Ganondorf, her captor. There was nothing else she could do to escape. He was a powerful king and she an orphaned girl. In her castle prison she was friendless and helpless. She sobbed a little was the silent captain led her off to the throne room. The shackles that bound her wrists and ankles together made her stumble but she held her head high. She was determined that the vile King would never take away her dignity.

**

* * *

**Ganondorf pulled himself up straight in his chair as her approach was heralded by the dull footfall of the captain and the slave. His habitual glower turned into a smirk at the thought of his beautiful prisoner. He rubbed his strong hands together and cracked his knuckles for good measure and watched as the barely-visible doors half opened to admit the soldier and the maiden. 

She was dragged forward and roughly pushed to her knees before his throne. He devoured her delicate features for a long moment as she knelt docilely at his feet and smirked again. He snapped his fingers and on cue a ball of warm, heavily scented water was brought to her side by a silent Gerudo warrior, another brought forward a thick, soft towel. A final soldier brought forward a pumice stone and bar of soap studded with herbs.

Zelda gazed at these in some confusion but did not dare look up at the man before her to enquire as to what the significance of these items might be. She soon had her answer as Ganondorf licked his lips and then ordered, "Wash my feet, girl."

Zelda visibly shuddered but did as she was told. Not for the first time she wished there was some way she could escape him. She removed his soiled boots from his odorous feet and flinched again. This was a job for the lowest serving wench, not the daughter of a lord. He seemed determined to humiliate her and every day she had been imprisoned, she had been forced to do more and more loathsome things. Every day she had been degraded a little more. But she did not voice a complaint. There was nothing she could do but pray to the gods for release from this personal hell she faced daily.

With these thoughts in mind she went about her unpleasant task. Visibly repulsed, she slowly and carefully cleansed and massaged his feet. She combated the nauseous sensation in her stomach by imagining herself to be a million miles away - preferably on a sandy beach, with the sun shining brightly overhead and the cool sea breeze tickling her face. Wherever she was, it was far, far away from the reach of her tormentor

**

* * *

**In her reality however, things were beginning to worsen. As she began dabbing at his feet with the soft towel he suddenly announced, "Your grandfather is dead." 

Shock and grief his Zelda squarely, sending her already wrought emotions flying. Her Grandfather, the last powerful Hylian Judge had raised her as his daughter when her own parents had died. He had been her last and only protection in the world, and with his demise, she knew that she was surely under Ganondorf's complete control. He knew it too. Zelda stopped her degrading work and sobbed grief and bitter hopelessness.

Ganondorf grinned at her tears. With her Grandfather finally disposed of, all barriers to Zelda were down. She was defenceless and nobody would come looking for her because nobody knew she was missing. Daphnes had been undone by his own attempts at duplicity. Capturing Zelda had been an easy task for Ganondorf. His spies had watched her constantly and had followed her. Daphnes had been foolish to think that she would not be a target, or that she could travel through the country incognito.

Ganondorf chuckled to himself as he remembered the old fool had then employed his own right hand woman, Tassia, to find his precious Zelda. Little did he know that she had her own agenda to accomplish. Daphnes's rupees had only lined Ganondorf's pockets and his body was now buried under a pile of stones in the desert. His throat slit neatly and his body robbed of all valuables. The death of the venerable Judge Daphnes would not be directly pinpointed on the King himself or on his beautiful assassin.

He looked back down at Zelda and kicked her maliciously. "I did not grant you respite. Wash my feet, wench."

In her despair, Zelda did not hear the words but she registered the kick. Blankly she gazed up at him, both despising him and fearing him.

"Oh, have you gone deaf, or are you just plain disobedient. Do you dare defy me, girl?

She did not understand his words. Her misery had swallowed her up. She was in a black pit of anguish. Tears gorged down her pale cheeks in a flood from her eyes. She was alone and frightened.

Ganondorf realised she was not listening to him and a vile hatred built up in his heart. Without warning he struck the girl across the face with a force that sent her sprawling to the floor. The strength of the blow forced her cruelly back into the real world.

The King's face lit up as he peered down at her suffering. He enjoyed the feeling over power he had over her. She gazed up at him, her tears arrested with sudden shock and pain. Hatred burned in her eyes. Ganondorf sneered at her and beckoned his captain to his side.

"Take her to the dungeons. There she may learn a little respect for her betters. Give her no food or water. Tell the dungeon keeper not to spare the whip. Let us see if her impudence can survive a week without sustenance."

The emotionless Captain saluted smartly and advanced on the girl. Her struggles made no impact as she struggled to fight off the strong soldier's grip.

Ganondorf stood up. He was a tall, powerfully built man. With the aid of his gloriously decorated sceptre, he strolled over to where she was held. His large, gnarled hand reached for her face. She cringed as his rough fingers caressed her skin.

"Ah, my little beauty." He said as he surveyed her diminutive form with lecherous intent. "You have both spirit and timidity within your soul. It is a curious blend. You may recoil from me all you want, for there is no one to help you now. Your grandfather is gone and nobody will remember your name. You might as well succumb to my wishes, why, I might even marry you!"

"Hah. Such a treat for me!" She retorted.

His eyes flashed with amusement. Both his cold hands stroked her soft cheek and he smiled even more. "You will be my wife, Zelda. And I will put you to good use. You have my word on that." He laughed cruelly at her obvious distress.

"What is the matter, my sweet?" He continued in mock sympathy. "Don't you want to be a queen?"

Zelda glared at him. He knew full well what the answer to that question would be. In vain she struggled against the Captain's hold. He sniggered again. "Come, my love. You know you should just give in. Maybe if you surrender I will tell you what it is that makes you so important to me. Perhaps I will share with you the secret I know about you and your family line. It was not just for your…" He paused and leered at her figure "…beauty that I had you brought to me. Nothing can save you from your destiny. Your destiny lies with me…"

Zelda felt a furious anger rising in her blood. She had never before felt such a trembling rage before. She felt as though her blood was boiling and her body shook with aggression. Ganondorf's hand moved towards her mouth. Zelda seized her chance and, as his hand touched her lips, she snapped and bit down onto his fingers with all the force she could muster.

The King shrieked in agony. The guard holding Zelda instantly ran to his aid, inadvertently releasing her grip in the process.

She wrenched herself free and, pausing only to spit the foul taste of Ganondorf from her mouth, Zelda fled as fast as she could to the door.

"STOP HER, IMBICILES." Screamed the King as she ran for her life.

She crashed into the door and it flung open. Stumbling in her shackles, Zelda tried to ignore the sound of a hundred feet as they pounded after her. Her overwrought emotions seemed to be giving her the strength to run. Her long hair billowed behind her like a streamer as she galloped down the long hall. The noise of pursuit always snapping at her heels. Somehow she managed to stay ahead of them.

She skidded around a corner and the weight of her shackles wrists almost toppled her over again. She shook her hands as she ran and suddenly, there was a flash of blue light and the chains slipped from her body to the floor with a clang. Zelda gasped in amazement and thanked the gods for that small release.

"What the…?" She heard the Captain exclaim as she stumbled over the fetters. Zelda ran with renewed energy. The only illumination in the corridor was the torchlight from behind her and the moonlight that streamed in through the windows. She saw a shallow flight of stairs in front of her. Without pausing for thought, she closed her eyes and jumped.

A spasm of pain jolted her ankles as she landed. She yelped but continued running. This was her only change for escape. She had to keep going. She could not stop. She jumped down the next flight too. All the while, her pursuers were hot on her trail.

As she skimmed another corner she felt her energy finally diminishing. Her spurt of adrenaline had almost faded. She had to keep going. She pushed herself on, her breath coming in sobs. Her chest hurt and she could taste blood on her lips. Both her ankles throbbed when they touched the ground. She had to keep going.

The sound of her pursuers was hot on her heels. She could hear their swords clanging together, their feet were like thunder, even on the thick carpet. Their shouts wild and furious. She was slowing.

The corridor was long and dark. Zelda closed her eyes and forced her tired body to keep moving. Keep running. Go into the darkness and not look back. She began to realise she had no idea where she was going. She did not know the castle layout at all. A new, colder kind of panic gripped her. She couldn't escape. She didn't know how to.

She had made a little headway against the guards but she knew it was all to no avail. She had pushed her body to its limits but it was pointless. She would still be Ganondorf's prisoner. She had lost all hope and she was mad to have even taken the chance to run. He would punish her severely for her impudence.

She sprinted on, her body and spirit tiring. Her eyes searching out for a place to hide. Even in the grips of despair, she still wanted to avoid her fate if she could.

The sound of pursuit grew louder. She could feel the heat of their frustration scorching her back. She could see the flicker of their torches on the walls at her side. She rounded a final corner and yelped in surprise.

Her wrist was grabbed and she was yanked to the right. Before she could scream a hand smothered her face and, as if anticipating her struggles, she was pinned against a wall by a tall body. She felt the folds of his cloak falling gently over her body and smelt the musky scent of him. Gasping for breath she desperately struggled against him until she heard the frantic whisper coming from high above her "Be still will you? I'm trying to help you."

If this did not shock her enough, she felt something brushing against her bare legs that felt suspiciously like damp fur. Suddenly the fur was gone. The fabric around her moved, and then came the noise of an hostile growl immediately followed by terrified screams.

"EEK - WOLF!"

Zelda found she could do one better than keeping still. She fainted.


	7. Damsel in Distress

Many thanks to I.K.A. Valian, la generala and booklover13 for your kind reviews. And thanks to everyone still reading this! I'm very pleased to be getting such positive feedback from you all! **THANK YOU!**

Anyway, on with the story! I don't own Link or Zelda or any LOZ characters, but I do own this plot!

* * *

Chapter Seven

"Why am I flat on my back?" Moaned Zelda as she slowly opened her eyes.

"Because you fainted in to my arms." A humorous voice responded.

She gazed around in some confusion. She was lying on a hard surface, possibly a table, it was cold and the room was dark. She looked up and saw a man's face very close to hers.

"EEEP!!" She yelped in surprise. She felt a strangle tingle in her right arm.

Suddenly the man disappeared. His disappearance was immediately followed by a thump on the floor. "Wow. What on earth was that?" She heard him demand.

Recognising the voice as the voice of her apparent rescuer, she turned her head to watch him. He was picking himself up from the floor, chuckling slightly. She blinked and tried to sit up, only to find that that horrible, sick feeling she had experienced just before passing out had returned with a vengeance. She lay back, trying to relax her breathing and glanced at her rescuer. Or at least, she hoped he was a rescuer. She had not yet had chance to assess him. She turned her head so she could see him and saw his glittering eyes and inane grin. 'Just as I thought, he's another escaped lunatic.' She sighed to herself, wondering how she always managed to attract life's losers. At least he had saved her from the Gerudo, she granted him that. Whether that reprieve was a temporary thing though, she didn't know.

"What was what?" She asked, attempting to sit up.

She saw his eye glitter with amusement as he looked at her. "You just zapped me. Don't you remember?"

"Zapped you? Don't be ridiculous." She scorned. "You must be imagining things." Clearly believing this conversation to be at an end before it had even started, Zelda turned away from his intense gaze and continued in her politest, "I must thank you for rescuing me. Who are you?"

This promising change of topic fell flat on its head. Links' grin grew wider and his eyes shone even more but he didn't reply. Rather, he unsheathed his sword and started to polish it.

'Great, now he's mute.' Decided Zelda. 'This is just what I need.' She frowned slightly and studied him. He didn't really look mad, she thought. Apart from the cheery grin he seemed quite normal. He was reasonably tall, and had darkish hair, half of which was tied roughly back. The remainder swept across his face, partially covering his mischievous eyes. In the lamplight she could not identify their colour. He was attractive but not precisely handsome, she decided. She sat up on her bed and watched him for a moment.

"Aw, you're so shiny and pretty, little swordy…" He murmured to his blade as he gave it a final rub with his sleeve. She saw his eyes flick in her direction for the briefest of second's before suddenly he swung the sword right at her.

"AIEEE!" She screamed and jumped. Even she saw the flash of light that sparked from her hand as her arm jerked forward involuntarily to protect her face. Her rescuer slumped to the floor again. "What in Hyrule was that?" She stammered as she gazed in horrified amazement at her perfectly normal looking hand.

"That's such an amazing trick." He laughed as he picked himself up from the floor for the second time. "I suspect it's a kind of defensive magic. I've not seen any like that before though. It doesn't hurt that badly, it just makes all my muscles crumple." He sheathed his sword and shook his zapped arm. He smiled and held his hand forward. "My name's Link. How do you do?"

Zelda was still gazing at her palm with a strange, incredulous look in her eyes but she gave his hand a suspicious glance as he spoke. She sighed and ran through the names of all the magic users she had ever met before and hoped one of them was still alive to explain to her why on earth she had just sparked. Link cleared his throat and waved his fingers slightly in her field of vision. She glanced up at him. She had never before had to confront lunatics and she wasn't entirely sure how to deal with them. Clearly he was expecting two things – to have her name revealed to him and to have his hand shook. Zelda weighed up the two options and took what she hoped was the safest route.

"My name is Zelda."

"I am Link."

"Yes. You've just said that."

"Did I? Oh, I apologise. I was mesmerised by your beauty." Link grinned and gave her an unashamedly ogling look. Then he winked. Having never had to deal with such open flirtation before in all her eighteen years, Zelda blushed. "Um, did you come here to rescue me?" She asked as she carefully and quickly shook his hand, thinking she had better err on the side of polite caution.

"Oh no, I came here to kill Ganondorf." He replied cheerfully.

"You came to do _what_?"

"Kill Ganondorf." He smiled sweetly at her. "Is there a problem with that?"

"But - you can't be an assassin!" She took stock of his scruffy hair, dilapidated clothes and worn out armour and shook her head.

"I'm not." He agreed with, what she was beginning to suspect was characteristic, glee. "You're not a soldier either."

She smiled politely and began to pray for a second rescue that night. He was clearly out of his mind.

Obviously unconscious to her thoughts about his mental stability, Link continued in the same vein, "I mean, I was hoping to capture a guard but I found I just could resist the urge to rescue a damsel in obvious distress. So I had to settle for you."

Zelda frowned over this statement for a long moment before picking up on the fact he was, under all his frivolity, serious. "You really did come to murder Ganondorf?" She asked. Even though she was trying to be polite, she couldn't quite hide the incredulous note seeping into her voice.

"Well not murder per se." He confessed. "I actually would consider it beneath me to do such a thing. I wanted to confront him and then kill him in battle. And that's why I needed a guard. A guard would capture me and bring me before the evil King and then I… Now what is it?"

"Do you have any idea of how many guards he has stationed here?"

"I would imagine about one hundred and fifty." He replied. "I counted as many in my travels around but then again, I might have missed a few. Those Gerudo Girls are quite…um…distracting, you know."

"You are mad." Came the involuntary response to this. Zelda shook her head and smiled slightly. "You cannot seriously expect to be able to waltz in there and demand to fight the King."

"I wasn't really planning on waltzing, you know. I prefer marching. It's a much more manly dance."

Zelda couldn't help a choke of laughter escaping her lips at this. Link's lips stretched into a grin as he saw this and decided that out of her pretty eyes trim physique, and tranquil manner; it was her giggle that appealed to him the most. "So where did you come from, obviously, despite from the castle. Have you always lived here?" He asked, in an obvious demonstration of the fact he could, on occasion, behave rationally.

"I was brought here about two weeks ago. One of King Ganondorf's guards captured me whilst I was on a walk with my servant."

"I didn't realise he was in the habit of kidnapping women." Said Link. "I mean - he's got enough girls here to last him a lifetime, surely he doesn't need any more!"

To her great surprise, Zelda found herself chuckling at this remark. The world had seemed so hopeless only a short while ago, and yet she had found a reason to smile again. Strange as her rescuer was, she began to think that he was more than capable of looking after her. He certainly had the ability to amuse her. And she had not laughed in such a long time. She smiled up at him and said, "I suppose you are right. However, he said he brought me here for a reason and then t-tonight, he threatened to marry me."

"That sounds like a wonderful prospect." Link noted the quivering in her voice as she recalled the images of a few moments ago and he felt sorry for her. He had never experienced capture personally, and he was rarely scared of anything but he could sympathise with her fear. "And obviously, you needed time to think about his proposition and decided to leave his glorious court to consider your verdict?"

"Something along those lines, yes." She admitted. "I didn't for a moment imagine I would be able to escape him. Thank you, Link."

"You've not escaped yet." He pointed out. "You've still got to get out of here."

"You are not going to help me?" She asked. Link couldn't determine whether the panic he detected in her voice was pretend or real. Either way, it appealed to his innate chivalry. She saw the indecision in his eyes and smiled sweetly up at him.

"To do so would ruin my plans." He complained in a humorous manner. "But can I abandon such a distressing damsel? Hmmm…" He looked her over again and smiled, "I wonder why Ganondorf want to-" Link mouth closed abruptly and he frowned.

"What is it?

"Shush. I can hear something…" He whispered. He crept over to the doorway and pressed his ear against the wood. She saw his eyes widen slightly and then he dashed back over to her. He was going to grab her hand when he remembered what had happened the last two times he had startled her so he grinned and held his hand out to her. She placed her hand in to his without hesitation. He glanced around the room, searching for a suitable hiding place. The drapes, under the table and nearby cupboard were all dismissed. He spied an old sofa at the back of the room and smiled. "Come on." He whispered to his fair lady and led her behind it.

He unclipped his worn out cloak and spread it lightly over her, making sure she was fully covered before crouching behind the musty furniture himself. Zelda wanted to know exactly what he had heard and was just going to voice her question when she heard the faint sound of footsteps. She shivered and hoped that their hiding place was adequate.

A minute or so later, the door creaked open. There was the sound of soft footfall. Zelda cringed, as it got closer to their position. There was a sigh and a creak as the intruder sat down. For a long moment, the room was very still. The silence only interrupted by the crackling of the two torches. Slowly, more footsteps were heard. This time the tread was firm and swift.

Link placed his hand lightly on Zelda's shoulder as if in a gesture of reassurance for he could feel her trembling. His hand slid to his sword hilt.

As the second intruder entered, the torchlight flickered. His step was purposeful and firm. The armour and sword he wore clinking together with every move he made. He slammed the door behind him and marched over to the sofa.

Zelda trembled even more and prayed to the gods that their cover would not be blown. As she cowered, she felt Link's hand touch hers briefly. She understood the message - he was urging her to remain calm and silent. It was easier said than done - Especially when one was stuck in a room with a lunatic, a gerudo warrior and a despotic King.

Zelda began to wish she could faint again.

* * *

Sorry the chapter is a little short. Hoped you like the Zelda / Link interaction. I'm not entirely sure whether it will end up as a Zelinker though. In my original story, there's not really such a romance between the lead characters. Anyway, tell me what you think. I'm quite open to suggestions! 


	8. The Gerudo King

Sorry this chapter is a little shorter than usual. The next one will be longer, I promise.

**Thank you to Booklover13, Guntou, Super Goat Girl and la Generala for your reviews! You guys are FAB!**

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Chapter Eight

"You are disturbing my reading time, my lord."

"It is important." Replied her companion. The voice was unmistakably that of King Ganondorf. Behind the sofa, Zelda shuddered.

"And what pray is so important that you must disturb my peace, my lord?"

"I have a new job for you, _Tassia_."

"Hah. I have not heard you call me that for a while, sire."

"And I have never before heard you so respectful." He laughed. She smiled at him and leaned back on the soft cushions on her chair. "So, have you caught your little runaway yet?" She asked.

"How did you know about her?"

"I am a spy, sire. It is my job to know everything." She replied, her golden eyes glinting slightly. "You employed me, remember."

"I remember." Replied the monarch, a reluctant smile softening his harsh features ever so slightly. He was a fierce-looking man and had a reputation to match his looks. He was notable for his huge size and bright red hair. He was aggressive, ruthless and powerful. Most of his subjects feared him. His fellow Gerudo's adored him to the extent that he was almost treated as a god amongst them.

Tassia did not adore him or worship him, and she certainly did not fear him. But she respected him. She had known him for most of her life. She glanced up at the powerful man seated next to her and smiled back at him. They had a lot of history together. She had worked hard to get where she was today – she was his right arm, his most trusted advisor, the only one who was allowed to have such close contact with him. He was not a soft or kind person, she knew he was ruthless and ambitious, but that callousness was his strength. Much as it had taken effort for her to win her place in his court, he had worked hard to meet the expectations of his people.

He was a true Gerudo – both of his parents were pureblooded, his family was one of the very few to not be contaminated with Hylian or Catalian blood. Males were very rare in the Gerudo nation. He had chosen to lead his people into war against the Hylians and through sheer strength and determination, they had won and Ganondorf had taken the throne.

And now his rule was almost complete. He just needed the acceptance of the Hylian Judges, Rauru, Impa and Kru – if they could be persuaded to give him the crown, then the Hylians would hail him as King. He hoped that now Daphnes was safely out of the way, he would finally be able to win over the stubborn trio.

"What else have you learned, my sweet?" He asked. His tone of his voice belying the endearment he used.

Nabooru met his fierce gaze with her blandest look. "I am told she ran because you threatened to marry her."

"Oh that." Her companion chuckled maliciously at this. "I imagine that has made you jealous. Do you know why I made you bring her here?"

"I assumed that there was a reason. However, if it was merely to amuse yourself, I am compelled to inform you, sire, that I do not find that joke particularly funny."

"Ah, you are always the same, aren't you, Nabooru?" He flicked her cheek carelessly with a finger, which was for him, a tender gesture. "You are so hot-headed."

"I may be hot-headed," She replied, with a dangerous edge to her voice, "But I am not a fool. You would do well not to undermine your status with your fellow people. Promising to marry that Hylian wench will win you no favours with your enemies."

Ganondorf laughed again, the noise was sinister. In her hiding place, Zelda cringed. "I have no great opinion of my enemies." He stated calmly. "They are unimportant and my people shall follow wherever I lead them. That is the Gerudo law – we are bound to follow the strongest amongst us. I am He. If any one of my people chooses to doubt the wisdom of my directions, then let her come and stand before me and challenge my right to lead." He glared down at his companion, his dark eyes glinting dangerously. "Do you dare defy me, Nabooru?"

"I do not seek to defy you, Lord." She replied coolly, no trace of fear sounding in her voice. She met his eyes squarely, a little contemptuously even. "I fought many others to gain my position within your army, sire. I would not throw away all that effort for nought."

"I am glad." He said. There was little in his manner to say whether he was pleased or indifferent. To the Gerudo, betraying emotion was betraying their strength. They prided themselves on being strong and ruthless, cunning and skilled. One had to learn to be selfish. One had to learn to deny oneself.

"What is my mission, sire?" Asked the spy, after a short pause.

"Seek out Aginaghn. He knows something about the child."

"And what of the child? My guards tell me she transformed herself into a wolf and ran off."

"Pah - an illusion no doubt. I trust my guards are still chasing after her. I will find her again." He shrugged. "She cannot run forever."

"It is true, my lord?" Nabooru studied her long fingers for a moment and frowned. "Is she a sage?"

"Why do you think I had you capture her?" Retorted Ganondorf, a slight smile again crossing his dark face. "What do you think?"

"From what the guards have told me, she showed no signs of greatness until tonight, and even then, her magic was nothing spectacular! Of course, I have not yet had the full report from my girls, but I believe she accomplished nothing more than Koume or Kotake could do." Nabooru met his eyes again and frowned. She rarely questioned her leader's decisions but she admitted to herself, she was curious by the significance of the girl. She had been ordered to capture her as a matter of urgency and then had been told to assassinate Daphnes. She had no idea what he was planning with her.

The girl was young and beautiful and was the granddaughter of the most prominent of the Hylian Judges. She was related to most of the prominent Hylian families. Nabooru personally wondered if her King's reasons for ordering Zelda's capture were that innocent. Surely he knew that an alliance with her would be the surest, easiest way to buy the loyalty of the Hylian people.

Staring up at her leader, she could read nothing in his eyes. She did not expect to, for he was a Gerudo through and through. She would never be allowed to see any weakness in him. She would never see her feelings reciprocated. All she could do was serve him to the best of her ability and continue to obey him in everything.

Ganondorf was either unaware or unconcerned about her feelings. He watched her critically. Out of all of his subordinates, she was the most valued of them all. She was the most loyal and the best soldier. She was a skilled thief and assassin and a talented spy. She was his eyes and ears amongst the people. She was also the most beautiful woman he had ever beheld. She was the epitome of what a Gerudo woman should be – strong, proud and magnificent.

"What are the guards saying she did?" He asked.

"When she ran, there was a green light surrounding her and not even the swiftest could catch her." Replied Nabooru. "And she shed those chains as if they were ribbons. And then there was the transforming into a wolf."

"I see. So she does have some magic ability." Mused Ganondorf. "I thought she must have, Daphnes guarded her so very well. I knew there was more to her than he told me. Interesting." He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Perhaps she does really have the power to awaken the Chameleon Stone after all."

"The Chameleon Stone?" Nabooru had heard her King talk of this only once before. Once glance into his dark eyes convinced her that he was not going to enlighten her anytime soon.

"You are to visit Aginaghn and discover from him, through whatever means necessary, the whereabouts of this 'Chameleon Stone' and the girl's involvement in it. Remember, whatever means necessary. I expect you to report back to me by the next full moon."

Nabooru sat forward from her cushions and bowed her head. "If that is what you will, my Lord."

"Good girl." He said and allowed her kiss his hand. He remembered only a short time ago Zelda biting the same hand. He vowed to repay the little wench for that. If she were not so necessary for his plans, he would order Nabooru to kill her. His eyes glinted as he watched his captain bowed over his hand. She was extraordinarily beautiful, he thought. Her sunset red hair spilled over his arm and he found his fingers aching to touch her tanned skin.

She glanced up at him, and her lips quirked into a smile. "Sire?"

Ganondorf allowed his hand to touch her face. Of course, it would not do to show any weakness before her but secretly he admitted that she was a woman a man could be proud of. He knew he could rely on her to accomplish her mission. Regardless of the personal cost, she would do whatever she had to do to please him.

* * *

Link waited until the door had been closed behind the Gerudos for a long time before he helped Zelda move from their hiding place. She saw that the look of amusement was as virulent in his eyes as ever before. 

"So, you're a sage, huh?" He whispered as he led her through the castle.

"I don't know." Admitted Zelda. "I don't know anything about myself really. Nobody ever tells me anything."

"I know what you mean." Said Link. "I mean, you didn't tell me you could swap bodies with my dog."

"They said 'wolf'."

"Nah." Laughed Link. "She's just a big dog. I suppose in the dim light, she might appear to be a little wolfish, but she's just a Hylian Terrier."

Zelda remembered the "dog's" thick fur brushing against her waist and thought about Hylian Terriers. They were never bigger than mid calf height and were brown. She remembered seeing a flash of pale fur. She glanced up at the dogs owner and smiled. "So where is she now."

"Probably running for her life still. I wouldn't worry about it, Amber can take perfect care of herself. She'll find me." Link grinned at the thought of his precious pet galloping one step ahead of the hapless Gerudo guards. There was no way they would catch her. Last time Amber decided to 'do a runner', Link had spent five hours running around a field chasing after her. The game only ended when Link had dropped from exhaustion. Obviously feeling benevolent, Amber had allowed him to catch a hold of her an hour later.

"So what do we do now?" Zelda asked.

"Isn't it obvious. It behoves us to go investigate the Lizard Pebble." He replied.

"What?"

"Lizard Pebble - Chameleon Stone." Said Link. "I like my name for it better!" He noted that his companion looked a little tired, and thin, and wary so he smiled, in what he hoped was a reassuring manner, and said "I suppose I could take you back to Impa first."

"Would you?"

"Maybe."

Zelda sighed and realised that whatever happened, it was going to be a long day.

Link ran ahead, chuckling to himself about something and she sighed again. A very, very long day.

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I hoped you liked the slight whiff of Ganondorf / Nabooru lurve! I can tone it up or down, whichever you prefer. And thanks for the ideas re. the ZeLink elements. You'll have to keep reading to find out what happens to them...

And if you want to make me a happy author, please hit that review button. Tell me what ya think! Thanks for reading X


	9. Kakariko's Wolf

Before I start, a **huge **thank you to **Booklover13, la generala, Guntou, Quinkilo1055, and SuperGoatGirl** for your reviews and feedback. Reviews make me a very happy author! I'm so happy that people are liking my work, anyway, I'll stop gushing now and let you all get back to the story. En Avant...

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Chapter Nine

"Show me again the note."

Rauru held his hand forward imperatively. Impa scowled but obeyed. Rauru read it aloud for the third time that morning.

"I fear very much that I am being pursued. I believe that Zelda has been taken to the castle to face that monster Ganondorf, and though I have employed somebody to recover her, I cannot help but think I have been double-crossed. If you do not see me again, know that my fate has caught up with me – I leave Hyrule in your capable hands. If King Aganhim fails in his quest to defeat King Ganondorf, Judge Impa shall take control of the Northern territories - she will have dominion from Death Mountain Peak to the bridge of Kakariko. Judge Rauru shall control the West of the Great field, from the Gerudo Gorge to the Lon Lon plains. Judge Kru shall hold the Southern Fortress, encompassing Lake Hylia and the Kokiri Forest. The central territory and the northern fortress must be given to my granddaughter. If she does not return, you must split that land between you. I pray for the goddesses to bless you profusely, my friends.

Farewell,

Daphnes De Hyrule III"

"And this arrived on the same night that thief was due?" Asked Rauru, for the third time.

For the third time Impa nodded.

"But the thief did not come. The one calling himself 'Limp', was it?"

"No, was it not "Lunker?" Interrupted Kru.

"His name is-I mean was-Link." Snapped Impa.

"Oh yes of course, Link. I wonder why he did not come?" Rauru sighed for the twentieth time that morning and again said, "It's such a pity."

Kru nodded dolefully and added his mite to the tale saying, "I knew it was a mistake…"

"And now we have this message from poor Daphnes," Continued Rauru, "What are we to do?" He looked pointedly in Impa's direction but she refrained from commenting. She crossed her arms over her chest, made a 'humph' noise and glared out of the window.

"Poor little Zelda." Said Kru, filling in for his companion. "To be captured by that monster…"

"Terrible. Poor Daphnes must be overwrought." Said Rauru. Whilst he could never be accused of revelling in another's misfortune, it was certainly clear he enjoyed gossiping about it. And he enjoyed moaning about the unreliability of thieves.

Impa would normally add at this point in the conversation that all men were monsters and were all completely undependable but she was unusually silent. She had been for most of the journey – a circumstance that worried Rauru more than he would admit. She was clearly sulking about something, but as neither he nor Kru had offended her (as far as they knew anyway) there was no reason for her hostility.

She had been the only one awake on the evening in question, and the landlord, Kafei, had delivered the note to her. Their mercenary had not shown up, according to Impa and it seemed likely that Daphnes had met an untimely end. That had been five days ago. Unfortunately neither the landlord nor landlady could be questioned either, for Anju had gone into labour a couple of hours after the note had been delivered. The inn had been placed in the care of Anju's grandmother – an incredibly old, frail little lady with a predilection for telling incredibly long, sleep inducing tales. She did not know anything about anything that didn't interest her, called everybody – male or female – Tortus and complained about the food.

The only story Rauru had managed to remain awake for was one about her latest great grandchild – a tiny little redhead girl, who was to be named Amber.

'Really', thought Rauru with yet another sigh, 'Out of all the nights he had to have a little evening doze, it would have been _that_ one!' Impa was not forthcoming about her activities that night. She did not see fit to explain to the senior judge what exactly had happened. Nor did she want to reveal that she had, in fact, met and employed the thief without so much as a nod in Rauru's direction.

She was not afraid of what he would say to her, or the unpleasant repercussions that could occur from her impudence, rather, she didn't want it pointing out that she had behaved rather rashly. She had sent Link off to the castle pretty much immediately after meeting with him. That had been five days ago, she had given him money to loan a horse from the nearby ranch, and a carrier cucco to send her word when he had accomplished her mission. Even the most slovenly of idiots could have done that in three days. Her first impression of Link had not been one of an incompetent fool. She had seen behind those guileless blue eyes, there was a strong vein of determination and a slight recklessness. No, he would not dally about accomplishing a mission.

So that could only mean one of two things – either he had failed or he had absconded. The latter of these two options seemed the most plausible. To confess this to Daphnes would be to confess she had been wrong. Which, to Impa, was inexcusable. And of course, it would give that idiot Kru something else to taunt her over.

Impa did not think for a moment that Link might actually have been sidetracked.

"…I mean, we should consult Aganhim – he might be able to help…"

Kru's voice invaded her wandering thoughts with alarming clarity, and reluctantly, Impa was dragged back to the present. She gave her companion a withering glare. Which he ignored.

"Aganhim is no better than Ganondorf." She snapped.

"He is."

"He is not…" Impa caught Rauru's eye at this moment and her mouth snapped shut. She remembered being reprimanded not a few days ago about being childish. She gulped and continued in what she hoped was a reasoning tone, "You must remember Kru, that until recently Aganhim was not recognised as even belonging to the royal family…"

"Yes, but you were the one who accepted his credentials." Retorted Kru, understandably irritated by her patronising tone.

"I studied them carefully."

"You did not consult me – they might have been fraudulent." Said Kru, in a saintly manner. "Even you cannot deny my skill, my dear Impa, in ousting impostors…"

"Yes I can." She shot back. "Your skill in ousting impostors almost led to us proclaiming that insane cartographer as rightful heir to the Lordship of Kokiri Forest… what was his name again, Rauru?"

Rauru looked like he would rather not take part in this conversation but given that his two companions were eyeballing him he answered with a slight grimace, "Tingle."

"That's it – Tingle." Triumphed Impa. She almost grinned at her companion. "What did you say about him? Oh yes, 'He looks the part'"

"He did look the part and he was very convincing." Muttered Kru.

Impa snorted at this, "Just because he was a little stunted and was the only Kokiri-look-alike that had managed to grow a beard you were convinced? Or was it is 'Magic Words (don't steal them) that persuaded you, Kru? Lord of the Kokiri indeed! More like Lord of the Fairy-brains."

"The Kokiri liked him."

"They did not. They actually held a protest against your decision and begged not to have him inflicted on him – unlike you, I do not have a short term memory problem - I remember clearly what happened."

"Funny that you can't remember what happened five days ago then." Interrupted Rauru.

Impa had to admit; he did have a valid point. She retreated to her contemplation of the beautiful outside world, seething quietly.

They were on their way to Impa's home village of Kakariko. It was relatively quiet and safe there, and although Ganondorf had taken over the main castle of Hyrule, which was situated only a few miles away, Ganondorf showed little interest in such an insignificant village. The village was home to the remainder of the Sheikah tribe, of which Impa was a member. The Sheikah were known for their stealthy ways and imaginative battle skills, and whilst one or two of them were a little on the traitorous side, they could mainly be trusted to have Hyrule's best interests at heart.

They hoped that they could induce one of their members to go to the castle and check on Zelda, if she was there.

* * *

The distinct lack of pomp and ceremony that greeted their arrival at her home village did nothing to improve Impa's already… sour… mood. In fact, a disturbing lack of people seemed to be out and about, ready to witness the glorious judges returning home. Gazing out of the window, Impa couldn't help but wonder why.

Even the cucco lady and her escapology-wise feathered friends were nowhere to be seen. Normally the birds roamed wherever they liked in the town, for their owner was allergic to picking them up, and she had yet to master the art of building a secure coop. The very fact that there wasn't that familiar, slightly irritating, clucking anywhere to be heard, and no telltale white feathers were lurking about worried Impa more than she would admit. Her peaceful little hometown seemed to be desolated. The only telltale sign of life was the glimmer of candlelight in the windows and the occasional twitching of a curtain.

It was rather odd.

The carriage stopped right in the centre of the town and as the judges descended, in their usual elegant manner, they noticed the absolute silence in the town. Kru was the one to state the obvious and ask Impa if she knew what was happening.

"Of course not, you numbskull." She retorted her flagging spirits instantly revived by a moment of self-indulgent Kru-bashing. "However, I intend to find out." She eyed the houses in her typical stony silence and fixed her attention the front door of the mayor's home. Kru wondered if she expected the power of her glare to force the mayor out.

However, it was not by the strength of her glower that Impa intended on encouraging the mayor out from his stronghold, she chose a more direct method (after all, he wouldn't benefit from the power of her icy glare from behind a wooden door). "Mutoh – get your sorry hide out here. Right now." She bellowed.

Since Kru and Rauru both stood to attention instinctively at the sound, it was unsurprising that a moment later, the wooden door of the humble stone building incurring Impa's wrath opened at notch.

"I shall not give you the indulgence of another warning, Mutoh." Snapped Impa as she saw a pair of eyes staring at her from the shadows of the door.

"M-my lady, I h-had no Idea you were here." Came a snivelling voice.

"Well you know now." Impa folded her arms and gave the eyes a very quelling look. "Why are you all indoors instead of affording my fellows and I the welcome that is due?"

"Um… it's just that…" The mayor's voice was trembling, Rauru and Kru exchanged glances. Mutoh had their sympathies - Impa could be nerve-wracking at times.

"What?"

"W-w-wolf…" Came the reply.

"Oh, so it's not your glare that's terrified him." Murmured Rauru in Impa's ear, she smiled slightly at this but continued watching the doorway and replied. "A wolf in Kakariko? I find that ridiculous."

"But-but it's here." Stammered Mutoh.

"Here. Why have we not seen it then?"

"It… it might…"

"The wolf might what?" Impa's eyes narrowed so thinly that they almost were closed. There was an audible gulp from the direction of the house.

"The wolf... Might accidentally have g-gotten into your h-house…"

"WHAT?"

* * *

Sorry it's a little short, but I have big plans for Chapter Ten... so I hope you'll all keep reading. Oh, and I hope you like the OOT and MM cameo's. There will be more. 


	10. Lost in the Lost Woods

Sorry, my bad for not updating sooner. I've not had the time to write much recently. The bigs plans will also continue into chapter 11, where you will finally discover the nature of the Lizard Pebble.

**Thanks very much to my fabulous reviewers: Booklover13, The Clang, I.K.A. Valian, I.K.A. Valian and QuinKilo1055 **YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME and I really appreciated every single review I get! But am always greedy for more! Hope you enjoy the latest instalment as much as I have enjoyed writing it...

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Chapter Ten 

The sun shone with a peaceful kind of haziness as it filtered through the green branches on the edge of the vast Kokiri forest. Few travellers ever ventured into the peaceful, leafy expanse though – for it was known that those who crossed the threshold into the void ever returned. It was not called the Lost Woods without reason.

Somehow Zelda knew that Link would not even give the cryptic warning of "Turn Ye Back, Lest Ye Regret Thy Footfall" found on the faded little signpost pointing in the direction of a hollowed out tree trunk leading into the gloom any attention. Sure enough, she noticed that he didn't even glance at the sign as he strolled past, whistling in an off-key and highly irritating manner. She glared at his scruffily clothed back and rolled her eyes. For three days they had trudged across Hyrule, apparently on a desperate quest to find Link's pet, but she had yet to see any real evidence of this. In fact, she believed that they were wandering around in circles and if she had not seen Link glance at a paper in his hand every now and then (the same paper he refused to let her view) she would have thought they were lost.

She was coming to the appalling conclusion that he was amusing himself at her expense.

Of course, she could just object to this treatment, demand to be taken to Impa and moan until he did what she asked, but somehow she guessed that such an attempt would wear her out much sooner than it would ever effect him. Indeed, she would have spent the afternoon glaring at his back, quietly seething in a manner worthy of Impa herself, had she not found him so disarmingly amusing. So instead, she contented herself by passing her time thinking of suitable revenge against the madman she had latched herself on to.

To give Link his due, she had decided, once she had recovered from being dazzled in the light of the early morning sun on that first day they had escaped from the castle, that he really was handsome. He had shining brown-blond hair, which needed cutting since it fell over her face in a highly disorganised manner, and large innocent blue eyes, which were all too often filled with mischief. His face was beautiful, his smile alluring, his manner disastrously charming and his body tall and lithe. Generally, she decided she would appreciate having such a glamorous companion, were it not for his rather unfortunate predilection for ridiculous ventures and the alarming number of 'accidents' he seemed to have.

Although they had only travelled for three days together, in that short space of time she had pretty much got his measure. On escaping the castle, they went to the nearby Castle Town. Instead of keeping a low profile there (to avoid the Gerudo who would surely be searching for them) Link's first thought was that he 'had to have that mask'.

"That mask" was a particularly grotesque pig-face affair, with scary red eyes. It was the first thing they saw as they entered the town and it was displayed in pride of place in the window of the happy mask shop. The thought of owning it possessed him and, sure enough, in a surprisingly short space of time, he had managed to steal the happy mask salesman's favourite mask (Link insisted he had merely borrowed it), he then put it to good use by chasing some hapless cuccos around the town, frightening two little girls in the process. He had then placated their respective mothers by flirting outrageously with them, and allowing them to pet his hair and mother him.

If that wasn't enough, he had then visited some old flirt he had in a ranch (armed with some flowers he had again 'borrowed' from some old mans window box) and had coerced her into lending him a horse.

Once he had the horse, he got progressively worse. He challenged the girl's uncle to a race, and won (as far as Zelda could tell), by spooking his opponents horse by 'accidentally' dropping a deku nut in front of it. Instead of penalising him for such outrageous behaviour, the ranch girl had rewarded him – by indefinitely loaning him the horse and making him a hamper full of, from what Zelda could tell, the entire contents of her larder. He had then decreed that, since he now had a horse, he was clearly a knight in shining armour and had proceeded to behave in the most bizarre manner, speaking in some kind of hackneyed ancient Hylian dialect, and calling Zelda either his 'serf' or 'lady fair', depending on how the mood took him. They returned to castle town soon after this.

Day two was even worse. He had started the day by conning a shopkeeper into giving him a brand new bow and arrow, flirted a free dinner out of some dazzled teenage girls, 'loaned' half a barrel of ale from a local tavern (which he had used to bribe a local innkeeper into giving Zelda and him free accommodation for life) and had accepted at least five separate job offers, none of which he had any intention of completing.

Dragged about on these ventures, Zelda began to feel somewhat exhausted. But Link was not finished. By the end of that second evening of loitering about, he had managed to exchange a lock of Zelda's beautiful hair for a hat, which he swapped for a pendant, which he swapped for a cucoo, which he swapped for rather nifty leather sack, which was now crammed full with his latest possessions, all obtained through the medium of trade. He had acquired the lock of Zelda's hair by 'accidentally' tripping over whilst armed with a pair of scissors. He had then charmed his companion out of her absolute fury by displaying to full advantage his seal-eyes and absolute repentance, appealing to her gentler self - a gentler self that was rapidly evaporating in a cloud of exasperated fury.

And on the third day, when Zelda attempted to draw her wayward companion's attention to the matter at hand – namely the whereabouts of his pet, Link had then innocently asked every person he came across whether they had seen a large rabid wolf roaming about anywhere. The usual reaction to this question was panic and instead of allaying his audience's fears about rabid wolves and what pandemonium they could cause, Link would assure them that his pet was quite harmless, only she could be a little odd when she was frightened so if they did see her, they'd better keep about ten paces back, and keep perfectly still. Apparently Amber did not like sudden movements or strangers and was liable to "nip" if confronted with either terrible thing. Link would then show them one of his scars and explain that his precious pet had done that when he had knocked over a flowerpot when his doggie was sleeping one day.

As if that wasn't enough to clear the area of any hapless victims, then he had a final trick up his sleeve. He had not forgotten his companion's special ability and "accidentally" trod on her foot, making her body react by setting off a giant fireball. When he had done that, after blaming Zelda for the ensuing blaze that reduced a market stall (whose owner had earlier refused to serve Link due to his "suspicious looks") to cinders, they had been politely but firmly escorted from the town and were begged not to return.

So as they spent their third day of companionship together, Zelda was left wondering two things – one, what on earth she was doing still with him and, two, how exactly how his mind worked.

It was a question that could certainly not be determined by simply asking him. She found that if she asked him a straightforward question, for instance, 'where the heck are we going now?' he would choose to answer in either a riddle or not at all, whichever mood took him first. And she could not abandon him, not only did she not know Hyrule well enough to be able to traverse it, as Link seemed to be capable of doing, she also was uneasy on her own. It had only been a couple of weeks since she had been captured and dragged to Ganondorf's castle and she had only just lost her grandfather. Though she put a brave face of it on, she was still frightened to be alone. Nor did she have any means of defending herself. She had not been taught to fight and, although she seemed to have some magical ability, so far, only Link seemed to be able to coax her magic out of her.

Usually by 'accidentally' shocking her.

As for Link, he was sort of trying to locate his precious pet, but he wasn't putting much effort into it. He found his latest hapless victim (as he had named Zelda, although she was yet to discover her new designation) fascinating and was determined to discover more about her. It was not just because she was beautiful – with dark blue eyes, pink lips and hair like spun gold, or that he liked the way she choked when she was trying not to laugh, or that she found him amusing. Nor was it her quiet elegance and ready humour. It wasn't even that she could perform amazing tricks – all at the pinch of a finger (or the accidental treading on a toe). He wanted to know why Ganondorf had sought her out in the first place.

And if on the way, he could accidentally cause a little mayhem, then that made his life all the better.

There was another little reason why Link chose was wandering around Hyrule aimlessly, following tracks at random. It was also the reason why they had ended up at the Lost Woods anyway.

So when she asked him, for the second time, 'was he sure they really wanted to be in the Lost Woods?' he decided that perhaps he owed his companion an explanation (or admission) of sorts. His conscience wrestled with him at that point – it was not in his nature to answer questions directly, especially when it would cause more of a nuisance to remain silent, but Zelda had been very good so far that day. She had only rolled her eyes once at him (when he had asked her to zap their horse to make it go faster) and she had only been glaring at his back for the last hour or so, so he decided to make a concession, just this once, and answer her.

"Um…we might be a little bit lost." He said, with his usual cheery grin.

"A little bit lost?" Zelda repeated parrot fashion.

"Yes, in the Lost Woods too, what are the odds of that, eh?" He laughed.

Somehow his 'hapless victim' did not seem to find the thought as funny as he did. A worried frown passed over her face. "I thought you had a map?"

"I _had _a map." He conceded. On seeing a dangerous glint appear in her dark blue eyes, Link scratched the back of his head nervously.

"You had one? Where is it now?"

The impish smile and guileless big blue-eyed look did not work to stave off the impending wrath he could see in his companion's eyes. She looked faintly incredulous – a sure sign of all-consuming fury rising in her otherwise gentle soul. "I might have accidentally traded it yesterday." He explained.

"Oh really? So what is this magical map we've been following all day?" She asked, with deadly sarcasm. She watched, her eyes glinting vividly, as Link drew forth the piece of paper he had been referring to all morning. She snatched it from his grasp as he help it gingerly forward.

It read "Oops."

Zelda's mouth twisted as she read that single word, written surprisingly neatly right in the centre of the paper. She choked, possibly with anger, as she saw an alarmingly accurate – though very mischievous – representation of a very cross woman zapping a poor, innocent looking man wearing holey boots. Her hand slipped up to cover her mouth, possibly to hide her indignation at such an audacious image of herself.

She managed not to laugh for all of twenty seconds, and possibly would have lasted longer, if she had not looked up at Link and seen the amusement in his eyes. If he had not smirked as she choked again, she would have been fine.

"You are possibly THE worst man I have ever met in my life." She spluttered as she recovered her composure.

Link bowed in acknowledgement of the compliment. "Only possibly?" He queried, raising an eyebrow. "I guess you've not met many men before."

"I've never met anybody like you." She agreed cordially. She shook her head, and avoided meeting his eyes. Her sides were still hurting from the last bout of giggling she had suffered. "Um…if you could be serious-yes I know it's difficult for you but concentrate, Linkipoo-"

"LINKIPOO?" He exclaimed, absolutely outraged, offended and horrified by her abuse of his beloved name.

"Isn't that your name?" She asked innocently. "Lord Link Eppoo?"

"No. It's Lord Link Eipough…Eee puuu… oh." He started to laugh again. "Alright, so maybe I did make up the second name but still that does not give you any right to abuse it so…_Princess_."

"Princess? I am no such thing." She retorted. "And I object to you calling me such. It makes me sound like a rich little spoiled brat. And I am not rich."

"But it's a cute pet name, _Princessy_." Explained Link, as if that made everything all right. Evidently, he had grown immune to the power of a glare. Seeing this, Zelda shrugged elegantly and said, "Call me what you will, I care not. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. If you could be sensible for a moment, do you have any plans for what we should do now? I mean we are lost…"

"…In the lost woods." Added Link.

This aside was met with a frown. "Yes, I think we know that now. And since we've been walking into the said "Lost Woods" for the last ten minutes, following your "Map", I guess we are even more lost…"

"…in the Lost Woods." Sniggered Link.

"Oh gods, please preserve me from this idiot." Prayed Zelda loudly. She opened her eyes and glanced at her companion. "Can you please try to behave, just for once? What are we going to do? "

"Well, I did come up with one idea." He admitted after a long deliberation. Somehow his companion knew that he was not really as worried as he should be. She had an ominous feeling in the pit of her stomach. Especially when she saw the sparkling look of sheer joy shimmering in the depths of his lovely eyes. She just knew it would be bad. And it was.

"I figured that if I can't find Amber, I could get a new pet here." He answered. "And because that is my new resolve, we'll just keep walking and walking until we find a new pet that catches my eye."

"So we forget Amber and find you a new animal friend?"

"Uh-huh. I'll bet these woods are just crawling with all kind of cute creatures like Skulltulas, Deku Baba's, Stalfos, Keese and, of course, wolves. I should find a new playfellow very soon."

"Am I to be replaced by a measly keese?" She asked, sulking slightly. "And I thought you liked my companionship too..."

"You are a fabulous companion." He reassured her, "Your glare is just so cute, and the way you wallop me in the shoulder when I annoy you makes my heart sing with pure delight. _And _I've already given you a new pet name, so we're doing good! But a Fire Keese would be just…something special. I really want one now. So if it's alright with you, we'll just keep strolling along happily."

"Fine. Fine. You win, I lose, Lord Linkipoop. However, if that little speech was meant to scare me, it won't work, you know?" Replied Zelda serenely. "I don't think anything has the power to frighten me _now_."

"I know – I'm the most terrifying thing you've ever encountered." He laughed, one hand raised in acknowledgement of the verbal hit, "But fortunately for my reputation, I was not trying to scare you but _whet _your appetite for the delightful journey ahead."

Zelda gazed thoughtfully at him and then at the dark expanse of trees and shadows before her. The world was silent and still apart from the rustling of the wind through the high up branches in the trees and dead leaves were scattered in a thick pile at her feet. "So this delightful place is crammed to the brim with such lovlies as wolves, Skulltulas and Keese, you say?" Link nodded happily. She sighed, "I can't wait."

**

* * *

**Given that the weather was pleasant, his companion pretty enough to make it worth his while to flirt with, and his mind no way inclined to restore her back to the judges, Link wandered around the forest aimlessly for another half hour or so. He would have been offended if it had been suggested to him that he was deliberately stalling for time. Even if it was true. He had successfully tuned out the sound of Zelda's annoyed grumbling, most of which was directed at him, and was happy enough to enjoy the sight of yet more of Hyrule. 

He was somewhat irritated then, when without warning, there was an almighty should of some strange sounding tongue and a bang.

"Oh, what was that?" Squeaked Zelda, shocked out of her chunnering monologue against the whims of the gods when deciding that such a beautiful damsel in distress should find herself rescued by a man of such clear mental instability.

"Let's find out." Without waiting for his beautiful companion to agree (or not), he dashed off in the direction of the commotion. Zelda paused only to sigh at his rapidly retreating form, picked up her skirts and ran after him.

She was fortunate in that she did not have too far to run. The noise had been loud because it had been close. She had not gone more than a few hundred paces when she was confronted by what looked like a plump child clothed in green, its head bowed, dashing towards her.

The child, distracted by the various rolled up parchments it carried, and running at an alarming speed did not notice her until it was too late.

Zelda went flying through the air as the wind was knocked out of her. There was the sound of a terrific screech. She landed with an 'oof', tossing up a pile of leaves in her wake.

Momentarily stunned, she was amazed to see Link appear before he bemused gaze. She knew she must have hit her head at that moment, for all manner of pretty sparkly lights shimmered in the air around his head and she had the disturbing thought that he really was unfairly attractive. She soon recovered from this alarming emotion though as in a typical tactless manner, he smirked at her. He didn't even try to hold back his laughter.

"Where is that little brat?" She snapped as she struggled to her feet. This was accomplished rather speedily as Link saw fit to drag her up by her forearms so quickly that she almost swooned again as the blood rushed from her head.

"Fainting into my arms already, Princess? I didn't realise you liked me so much!" He chuckled as he rested his hands on her shoulders whilst her vision and senses righted themselves. She narrowed her eyes at him, daring him to continue. "Oh right, the brat." He hastily added, dropping his hands from their comfortable leaning post. His eyes lit up with unholy amusement as they quickly located the little green-clad figure, scurrying around in a dazed manner, picking up its belongings. He grinned at her as they watched, "I think you might have zapped it. What d'ya want me to do with it?" He whispered.

"Chastise it, of course."

"As you wish, Lady Fairy." He replied, bowing with mock-heroics as he did. He was pleased to see her faint smile lighting her eyes again. For a moment he had been worried about her. She was alarmingly pale.

"_Fairy_?" Came a high-pitched, excited and slightly irritating voice from the little green figure. They both heard the gasp of surprise and then both almost fell over with shock as the tiny figure swung around.

Zelda was the first to choke on a giggle, closely followed by her wayward companion. Of course, this was only to be expected, as she had caught his eyes at the precise moment they had started to dance with laughter.

The child had a beard.

**

* * *

**The little man, as it now appeared to be one, was barely tall enough to reach Link's belt. He was dressed completely from head to toe in green. Apart from his boots, which were brown. Other than that he wore a green hat, green tunic, green belt, green tights, green cape and even had a green knapsack. His hair, sticking up slightly after his encounter with Zelda's unfortunate electrical abilities, was dark and had been at one point combed neatly against his odd shaped head. His beard was (at some point) elegantly curled and waxed. His chin was small, and his head strangely egg shaped. What was most worrying, of course, was that his smile was much more disturbing than any of Links and only marginally less freaky than the happy mask salesman's grin. 

Dazzled by this spectacular vision, Link was speechless for a moment. This went unnoticed, however, as their new companion seemed more than willing to chatter. Before Link could even open his mouth, the little man spread his arms wide and bowed.

"Hee-hee-hee, what's that about a fairy?" He asked. Link shot a glance at Zelda and wondered how long it would be before she choked again. She was looking rather pink in the cheeks as it was. Obviously, it was incumbent on him to make the bad situation worse, so he decided on that basis to go in on an all out assault.

"Fairy?" Replied Link, "Are you interested in them?"

The little man giggled and spun around in a happy circle. Zelda began to wonder if Link had finally met somebody who could out-crazy him. His ruddy cheeks reddened a little more and he replied, in the same singy-song manner, "Tingle is the very incarnation of a fairy. Eh-hehehehe."

"I can see that." Grinned Link. "May I ask what the green garb is for though? Aren't fairies supposed to be all ethereal and clothed in beautiful white silken robes?"

"Oh no, kind sir," Laughed Tingle, "Not in this forest. In this forest the fairies dress in green."

"Oh." Link rubbed his chin thoughtfully as the thought of acquiring a pea-green tunic matched with bright orange tights flitted through his over-active imagination. "And you are one of these fairies, are you?"

Tingle sighed soulfully at this. His little dance became less energetic. "Alas, no fairy has come to Tingle." He replied. He sniffed and raised a bony finger to his eyes. "My father says at thirty-five Tingle should stop acting like a fairy and learn to be a man, but how can Tingle do that, Kind Sir, when Tingle is the very incarnation of a fairy? The VERY incarnation." His red cheeks grew purple. From his right there was the noise of a choke-hastily disguised as a cough. Link glanced in that direction and saw his companion's cheeks were too deepening in colour. He smiled sweetly at her.

"And your father doesn't see that you are a fairy?" Lamented Link. "How could he miss that?" Tingle nodded, his little beady eyes glistened with thirty-five years worth of epic tears. "The mind boggles." Added Link sincerely.

"Oh it does, it does, Kind Sir. Tingle dresses like the fairy children and acts like them but still no fairy comes to him and without a fairy, he cannot go into the Kokiri village and become a true fairy. Alas. Woe is me…"

"Is there a village ahead?" Interrupted Link.

"Eee-heheheh, of course there is a village." Answered Tingle. He forgot his dirge on an unfulfilled life as he giggled and spun in a circle, his arms open so wide that he nearly whacked Zelda as they passed. When he had stopped his aimless dance, Tingle grinned back up at Link and said, "Tingle could show you the way but it would cost you."

"Ooo, a trade, eh?" Link smiled happily. "What do you want in exchange for your information?"

Tingle sighed again. "Tingle just wants to get into that village (And rule it) Heehee, and have a fairy of his very own."

"And if I can do that, what will you give me in return."

"Ah, Tingle is poor… he doesn't have much. But he does make maps. Perhaps, Kind Sir, you would like a map of Hyrule."

Zelda looked up at this point and said, "Don't give Link any maps - he's surprisingly good at losing them but if you have a decent map, I, for one, would buy it."

Link shook his head at her enthusiasm. She had broken his golden rule of trading – never let the seller know you are interested in what he is offering. "A simple map is not good enough." He decided, whilst thinking how he could con Tingle into showing him the map in question for long enough for him to figure out the route back to Lake Hylia.

"Tingles maps are not simple maps." Retorted Tingle.

"Can I see it?" Asked Link.

"No."

"Well then I don't know whether or not it is any good to me and without the reassurance that it will be of any use, I am not interested in helping you out. What else can you offer to me to ensure that my time spent trading with you is not time ill spent?"

Dazzled by the speed and charismatic delivery of these words, Tingle was, for a brief moment stunned. "Um…Tingle can do magic."

"That's nice. What else have you got for sale?" Returned Link ruthlessly.

"Um…what are _you_ going to trade?" Asked Tingle. He had had the sudden realisation that he had no idea what Link would offer in return.

"I will offer you a fairy, if your trade in return is good enough."

"A f-f-fairy?" Stammered Tingle. A look of sheer, absolute joy filled his beady black eyes for a moment. Then his air became crestfallen. "You have no fairy."

"Yes I do." Said Link.

"Where?"

"Right here." Tingle looked up and noted the direction Link was pointing. Then he frowned and his bottom lip pouted. "That's no fairy. That's just a girl." Zelda suddenly realised she was being included in the conversation again and glared at Link.

"Oh no, she's not." Said Link as he sidled closer to Zelda. Both she and Tingle watched him suspiciously. "Sir Tingle, allow me to share a little secret with you. And you must promise never, ever, ever to tell a soul about this if I tell you the secret, which I will share with you if you will keep it." Tingle followed about the first five words of this speech before Link's ramblings confused him but he understood the word 'secret' so nodded happily.

Link leaned a little closer to Tingle and whispered, "This girl was once a fairy."

Tingles eyes opened wide and he looked with even more interest at the hapless Zelda, who had unfortunately been rendered speechless by this blatant lie.

Seeing that he had command his companions' attention, Link smirked and added, "I can see you are sceptical, kind sir, but you see – she is a special fairy. She is related to the…um…great fairy. That's why she's so big." Link cast a swift smile at his indignant friend (who was fortunately for him was still speechless) and continued, "Pretty, isn't she?"

"Ooo, yes." Answered Tingle. He was not really interested in women. Just fairies. And he wasn't entirely sure whether Link was being truthful, but he seemed so sincere it was hard not to believe him. And with her pretty face, pale skin and long golden hair, Zelda really did look like a great fairy.

"She is also the only Moaning Fairy in the world."

"Moaning fairy?" Said Tingle, faintly.

"Yes." Link grinned as he saw Zelda's mouth opening to object to his audacious fable, and quickly added, "Unfortunately she has a limited vocabulary. She only says a few, annoying words. Like…"

"Hey!" Interrupted Zelda.

"That's one of her words." He sidled closer to his friend. "You see, she finds it very difficult to capture attention. So she has to yell at you and she insists that she has important information to impart to you."

"Listen!" Cried Zelda.

"See what I mean?" Laughed Link. "But she has a good heart. And I will be loath to lose her, but needs must and all that. So, Mr Tingle Sir, if you truly want a fairy, even one who is twice your height, this is your best opportunity for obtaining one."

"I am not a fairy." Shouted Zelda.

"That's the other problem. She has a complex." Said Link as he stroked her arm soothingly. He laughed as she slapped him. "She can be a little ill-tempered too. He placed his hand over her mouth, to cover her indignant rant and smiled at Tingle. "I tell you these things as I only like to strike an honest bargain," Zelda snorted at this, "But if you are interested, let us see if we can strike a deal. Are you sure you have nothing you could offer in exchange for this gloriously grumpy specimen of magical wonderment?"

Although his better judgement was telling him that the story was ludicrous, Tingle found that Link's big blue eyes just seemed to reek of honesty. And his smile was so sincere, his manner so candid that he just felt that maybe just maybe he was telling the truth. But there was one little matter that he needed to clear up before committing to any trading.

"Can the fairy do magic like Tingle?" He asked.

"Of course she can." Laughed Link. "What fairy couldn't?" He grinned at Zelda's look of sheer and utter contemptuous fury and wondered how hard she was going to hit him later. "She's just a little awkward about performing tricks. You see the problem, and the reason I am going to trade her to a good home, is that she has gotten so used to being a human look-alike that she has forgotten how to be a fairy. And because of that she has become a little too obsessed with me. See how her eyes follow my every move. Witness her fury on discovering that her feelings are not reciprocated. Hear her sweet little death threats." He moved his hand from Zelda's mouth at this moment, and sure enough she was in the middle of vowing to kill him at the first possible opportunity. "She is very magical."

"Tingle can do magic too." Sighed Tingle. "You're so lucky to have a fairy."

"Well you can be lucky too." Smiled Link. "What will you give for her?"

Tingle frowned. "Ah, Kind Sir, Tingle does not have much. Just my maps."

Link sighed and said, "Well in that case I am not trading." He started to lead the seething Zelda off. "I wonder if I can sell her in the village?" He wondered aloud as he strolled away.

"Eh-hehehe, the village is that way, Kind Sir." Said Tingle. He then said something quite rude as he realised he had just pointed Link in the right direction.

"Thanks." Called Link.

Tingle's little hands patted every green pocked on his coat and knapsack, desperately trying to find something that he could offer in exchange for the big moaning fairy. He desperately wanted a fairy. He _needed _a fairy. A fairy would make his life complete. With a fairy he could show those stupid Kokiri that he was every bit as fairy-friendly as they were. He would be accepted for the first time in his thirty-five years of life. Suddenly he remembered something.

"OOOO, Kind Sir. I have something!" He shouted. He had found this item on one of his little excursions in to the forest a few weeks previously.

Link stopped and turned around. "Yes?"

Tingle danced up to him and looked, not at Link, but at Zelda. She was still a seething mass of fury and was only waiting until they were out of earshot of Tingle so she could begin her tirade against her antagonist. "Are you really a fairy?"

"No." She snapped.

Tingle turned to Link for confirmation but he was laughing again. He seemed to not mind being punched by his companion. "She is, watch this." He sniggered. Without warning, he suddenly threw an arm around his irate companion and swiftly kissed her.

There was a loud crackle, and the whole area was filled with white light. Link dropped to the floor as all of his muscles gave way in a painful spasm. Surrounded by furious, glittering lights, fists clenched and panting slightly, Zelda glared at him as he merrily jumped to his feet.

"See, Tingle. She can do magic too."

"Hurray!" Giggled Tingle. "She is a fairy."

"I AM NOT A FAIRY!" Screamed Zelda. "AND HOW DARE YOU EVEN TOUCH ME YOU…"

Ignoring her completely, and holding her in place through the simple method of holding her wrist in a vice-like grasp, Link smiled happily at Tingle. "So what price will you pay for her?"

"Tingle has this." Said the little man and held his hand forward. In it lay a heavily decorated, ostentatious signet ring, made from thick pure gold. Link's eyes widened involuntarily at the sight of it. He plucked it from Tingle's clasp and examined it. The band was made of many strands of thin gold, spun together. The signet was a large oval, about the thickness of his little fingernail. Carved deep into the gold was the shape of a leaf and at its centre was an emerald. Link tried to fit it over his little finger but it was too small. He wondered how much money he could get for it. He guessed quite a lot – he knew quite a few women who would pay a fair amount for such a ridiculously huge trinket.

"Very well. Give me a map and this ring, and you can have my fairy."

"I am going to kill you, Link." Swore Zelda as Tingle gladly handed allowed Link to pocket the signet ring and gave him a large, surprisingly well-drawn and detailed map of Hyrule.

"A pleasure doing business with you." Said Link as he folded the map away carefully and smiled at Zelda. "You be a good fairy, won't you, sweetness? Be nice to your new owner."

She shot him a death glare in response. Which was completely ignored. Instead he returned his attention back to Tingle. "Um, which is the best way to get back to Lake Hylia from here?"

On hearing this, Zelda almost screamed with exasperation. Link had promised to take her back to Impa, where she would be safe, only to then decide to trade her life for the sake of an ugly bauble. And then he was going to have the sheer cheek to return to the Judges without so much as a goodbye. He was so, so dead.

"Why do you want to go there, Kind Sir?" asked Tingle (out of sheer nosiness).

"Well, it's kind of a secret, but I am desperate to meet Judge Impa. I am told she is there."

To Link's surprise Tingle glowered at this name. "Pah, Judge Impa. Judge Kru is the better man." He said. "Impa was the one that got Tingle removed from the Kokiri village in the first place."

"Was she?" Link grinned at this thought and wondered if he could spare any more of his time in listening to what could prove to be an amusing tale (for him anyway. The experience had been quite harrowing for Tingle). He decided against it. "She did seem a little stern when I met her last. But still, I must go face her again. So, which is the best route to the inn at Lake Hylia?"

"She's not at the Lake Hylia Inn." Replied Tingle. "She left for Kakariko about two days ago. Tingle watched her travelling. She's probably there right now."

"Really? Hmmmm. And what's the best route there?"

"Well, ehehehehe, there's actually a way through the Kokiri village…you go through a cave to Death Mountain and then down the pass to Kakariko. It's about a days travel. By land it would take much longer."

"Would the cave happen to be filled with Keese?" Asked Link breathlessly.

"Oh yes, Kind Sir, it is the most vile place Tingle knows. Very scary."

"And then there is Death Mountain?" Link sighed with pleasure at the very name and the images of doom and terror it conjured in his mind. He glanced at Zelda, who was by now looking furious, terrified and tired and smiled reassuringly at her. "And now you have a fairy you can get into the Kokiri village, can't you?"

"Tingle can, for Tingle is now oh so lucky to have a fairy." He sang.

"Great, well you can take me there too." Decided Link. He winked at Zelda (who looked away in disgust) and said beseechingly, "You will, won't you?"

Tingle was so excited by having his very own (giant) fairy that he was willing to agree to anything. That being decided, Tingle danced ahead, singing to himself in a manner that made even Link cringe. He followed with Zelda.

"Hey, don't worry, Princess." He whispered, as they walked together. "I promise to rescue from this madman."

"Which one?" She retorted irreverently.

Tingle chose at this moment to turn around and grin happily at the pair. "KOOOLOO LIMPAH!" He yelled and threw what looked like some paper scraps in the air. "These are Tingles Magic Words. Don't steal them." He advised them and returned to his happy dancing.

"I will save you." Whispered Link, with his usual cheery grin.

"Pah." Said Zelda.

**

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**Hope you enjoyed it, and sorry if Tingle was a little OOC! But hey, everyone in this story seems to be! If you've not already guessed, Link may want to keep hold of that signet ring… 

That is if he can survive the impending wrath of Zelda! **Remeber to review... cheers x**


	11. The Nature of Amber

First off, thank you to **I.K.A. Valian, ****QuinKilo1055, ****Booklover13, ****Super Goat Grl, ****la generala and ****Yuleen75 **for your reviews. I am glad you are all enjoying this fiction and like my Crazy Link! I'm afraid he doesn't appear in this chapter but don't let it put you off… please do continue to review!

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Chapter Eleven 

The reaction to his news did not have quite the impact Mutoh had been hoping for. The only discernable trace of worry on the part of any of the three richly dressed judges before him was that the smallest of the three (who also wore bottle-top glasses and had a thatch of brilliant white hair), Judge Kru, made a slight attempt to flee back to the safety of the coach. Impa soon quashed this bid for freedom through the simple, rather effective method of grabbing him by the ear, as though he were a naughty school child, as he ran past.

"A wolf, you say?" She remarked, as perfectly calm and collected as always.

"Yes, m'lady." Replied Mutoh from the safety of his home.

"And it went into my home?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"And you did not attempt to prevent it from entering the sacred confines of my house?"

"Um…we were in a bit of a pickle…er…panic, madam."

"How pathetic. Remind me again why I chose to leave you in charge of my beloved Kakariko?"

"Um, I paid you two-thousand rupees…"

"What?" Exclaimed Rauru.

"Er, nothing." Said Impa hastily. "It clearly behoves us to see the wolf. And kill it. Who's with me?"

There was a deafening silence and a slight breeze whistled through the houses. Impa glared at her companions, making each of them shuffle nervously. "Cucco-brains." She sneered. "You're scared of a little dog?"

"It was a wolf." Muttered Kru.

Thinking back to the only wolf she had seen recently, Impa allowed a rare smile to pass across her face. She wondered if her suspicions about the animal were correct, and if they were, then where the heck was its doting owner? She was definitely anxious to meet with Link again. She wanted her money back.

"Pah – that is nothing. I have faced dragons and serpents and lizards in my time…" Began Impa, raising herself to her full height. She towered over her companions and continued, in her booming tone, "I have fought against rock monsters and Octorocs and…"

"Fled from Tekties and Skultullas." Rauru finished her sentence for her with a slight smile gracing his otherwise bland features. It was a well-known fact that Hyrule's highest-ranking female judge was terrified of bugs. She glowered at him.

"I do not quake at the thought of confronting a dog."

"Well I do," Said Kru, crossing his arms and stamping a foot. "And I'm not going."

"Children, please…" Began Rauru, feeling his eyes roll involuntarily.

"I will go." Came a soft voice that none of them recognised. The three swung around and came face to face with the most beautiful woman they had ever seen (at least that's what Kru and Rauru thought). Impa's glare just narrowed at the sight of her. She sat astride a large black horse with red eyes and a cropped mane. Her eyes were amber coloured and were partially covered by her heavy-drooping lids. Her flawless skin was dewy and richly tanned, and the long, very low cut dress of turquoise satin she wore seemed incapable of hiding much of it. Her sunset orange hair was pulled severely away from her face and piled high on her head. She allowed an indulgent smile to pass across her red-stained lips before gracefully jumping from her steed's back.

Impa only needed one glance at her companions to know that they had been effectively, and completely immobilised by the sight of such a goddess. It wasn't just that she was beautiful. Impa knew that her companions, being the shallow men they were, would find the sight of an impressive bosom, tiny waist and hips that swayed provocatively as she moved, a little too distracting.

"Who are you?" She snapped.

The woman's smile only deepened, and her strange amber eyes flashed under their heavy lids. "My name is Tassia." She replied, in her slow, rich voice. Impa heard the gasp of sheer joy from her companions as the newcomer bowed low and sighed. If it was not lunatics running off with her money, it was interfering, attractive hussies trying to muscle in on her 'most important woman in Hyrule' territory.

She nudged Rauru, who out of the two males was the most likely to recover from his lust-induced stupor with the least amount of embarrassment. "Pleasure." He murmured. "Sheer pleasure." Not even Impa's most formidable sneer could drag his attention, and mind, away from the vision before him. Kru was drooling. His sixth sense warned him that his companion's glare was upon him so he at least attempted to shut his mouth. The only word he could manage though was "pretty…"

Impa sighed again and knew that, yet again, she had to take control of the situation. She did not hold out much hope for this potential employee either. At least she looked sane, thought Impa as she hastily introduced herself and her companions. "And that coward hiding behind his doorway is Mutoh, the Mayor of Kakariko." She added.

Tassia cast a glance in the direction of the doorway and raised an eyebrow. There was the sound of a sigh coming from the doorway, immediately followed by the unmistakable sound of a slap. Mutoh's wife was evidently watching the goings on too.

"You were saying something about a wolf?" Tassia asked politely.

"Apparently there is one at large in my residence." Stated Impa coldly. "And these useless men will not aid me in removing it."

The 'useless men' stood to attention at this point, hoping to look less pathetic than they guessed they already appeared to be. The sight of Tassia's indulgent smile as they did, did not exactly reassure them. Her heavy lids only lowered, giving her a wickedly amused look and she returned her complete attention back to Impa.

"Ah, you cannot rely on men for anything." Said Tassia, a sentiment so in harmony with Impa's own thoughts that she almost smiled at the younger woman. Almost. In reality, her scowl only relaxed slightly, and the frown evaporated from her face.

Rauru and Kru took immediate exception to this, by puffing out their chests and attempting to look young, brave, handsome and reliable. Or as close to it as two fifty-something-year old, balding and over-indulged judges could get. Tassia smiled lazily at this and continued addressing Impa. "As I said, I might be of some assistance to you. Does the wolf have a golden coat and blue eyes perchance?"

"I wouldn't know, I am yet to see it." Snapped Impa.

Mutoh escaped from the confines of his house at this moment (and beyond the reach of his irritated wife) and scrambled down the stairs of his house to stand before the magnificent visitor. He bowed reverently to her. As he was a short man, and Tassia was rather tall, he found it very difficult to keep his eyes on hers as he stood up. "It is, ma'am. I seen it with me own eyes." He forced himself to look up at Tassia's face rather than her chest.

"Did you?" She asked, a strange smile lighting her eyes once more. "Will you take me to the wolf, friend?"

Mutoh nodded and in a show, either of manly defiance, or sheer cowardice, took Tassia's arm and began to lead her forward, towards Impa's surprisingly humble residence. Impa was not the only person to note the beads of sweat visible on his forehead, or the way he stared straight ahead, not venturing to look either at his wife or the judges.

"Wait." Called Impa. Tassia stopped and glanced behind. Impa heard the groans coming from her companions. How the situation had spiralled out of her control, she did not know. However she did know that Tassia was stealing her limelight, thunder and all the adoration that was rightfully hers, and she would stop her. She grabbed the fleshy parts of her companion's arms and dragged them forward, ignoring their squeals of pain and moans of protest.

"I refuse to let you into my home without my presence." Tassia only raised an eyebrow at this. Impa suddenly felt an overwhelming and unladylike urge to smack that smile from her adversary's sinfully pretty mouth. Of course, being a lady through-and-through, despite the sheikah training she had undergone in her youth, Impa had no intention of acting on those primal instincts. As a judge and noblewoman, there were much more discreet methods of revenge and counter-irritation available to her. With this in mind, she smiled sweetly.

Tassia knew this declaration of war well and responded to the initial skirmish by replying in the kindest manner possible, "Of course we could not enter into your home without your presence enlivening it - such a thing would not only be grossly impolite, but would also be impossible as I do not have the keys."

Impa smiled more sweetly.

Caught in between this new and confusing type of battle, Kru and Rauru exchange a glance of mutual discomfort. Neither attempted to intervene though. Long association with Impa had taught them to never, ever interrupt a cat-scrap - unless you actually wanted to be turned upon by both combatants.

"Of course, in normal circumstances I would not allow a mere stranger to cross the threshold of my humble abode." Impa rallied.

"Of course, in normal circumstances I would not want to." Instantly replied Tassia.

Round two to Tassia. Impa's smile became more fixed, her gaze more rigid. Tassia's eyes danced with amusement and the men accompanying them cringed. Tassia patted her hair with a slender hand and gazed at the large ring on her index finger, turning it to and fro, making it capture the light. To all intents and purposes she was incredibly bored.

"Why are you so interested in the wolf anyway, Miss?" Asked Mutoh, effectively breaking the ice and recalling Rauru and Kru's wandering thoughts. Although it could not be said that they were completely recovered from their stupor, they were at least not staring in open-mouthed lechery at the woman.

Tassia smiled lazily but did not look up from her study of her ring.

"Why?" Demanded Impa.

Tassia glanced up at Impa, her eyes betraying nothing but weary exasperation but Impa knew that there was more to this. Something was not quite right. Tassia thought quickly and debated whether or not she should pursue this new lead. Of course, she was hoping to find where that worm Aganhim was hiding, but it wouldn't hurt to find Zelda on the way, would it? According to all sources, the girl had transformed herself into a wolf's body, and where else would she hide but in the home of her guardian, Impa. She decided that Ganondorf would expect her to investigate this matter further. With that in mind, she stated, "It so happens that the wolf belongs to me."

"No it doesn't, it is Link's." Retorted Impa before she actually realised she had just let the one bit of information she had hoped to keep to herself slip from her mouth.

"Who is Link?" Asked Tassia looking adorably confused.

"Link?" Said Kru. "The name rings a bell…"

"It should do." Answered Rauru, his heavy white brows dropping over his eyes as he glared at Impa. "You met him and didn't tell me?!"

"Um…" For once Impa was at a loss for words. "I…it so happened that I…"

Distracted by their argument, none of the judges noticed that Tassia's eyes had narrowed, or that one of her hands was clenched slightly. So the wolf belonged to Link, did it? That was a name she had not heard in over two years and was one she had hoped never to hear again. And if Link had been at the castle when Ganondorf's precious Zelda had escaped, that would provide a more logical and reasonable explanation to her disappearance, rather than the foolish notion that she had transformed into a golden wolf and had fled. The girl could have run off with him. A reluctant smile appeared on Tassia's face, she felt a little sorry for Zelda if that was the case.

Nevertheless, the castle guards had been quite adamant that Zelda had indeed transformed into a wolf right in front of their eyes and King Ganondorf had believed the story. He had also said there was more to his captive than met the eye. He thought it plausible that she could have used magic to change her body, she could have swapped bodies with the wolf, reasoned Tassia. There was only one way to find out, she supposed. She would have to see the wolf for herself.

Really this detour to Kakariko had proved interesting.

"…and so I sent him to the castle to scout out what was happening. It was a perfectly reasonable decision." Stated Impa, her attitude and voice hinting that hers was the final say in the matter.

"So this "Link" was sent to the castle?" Asked Tassia. The three judges had forgotten her presence in the midst of their dispute. "For what purpose?" She asked the question in a perfectly level tone, just a hint of curiosity mixed with boredom in its slow depths. Rauru saw no reason not to trust such a pretty woman, so he answered,

"Well, my dear, it seems that Daphnes believed Zelda to be hidden in the castle, so naturally Judge Impa wanted to secure her release as quickly as possible.

"Actually I wanted to be rid of that monster Ganondorf for all time." Muttered Impa. Unfortunately, Tassia had excellent hearing. Her eyes flashed ever so slightly, but she responded in the same disinterested manner, "Why would you want to destroy Ganondorf? Is he not the rightful King of Hyrule? Is not power the fruit of conquest?"

"We do not recognise him as King." Stated Kru.

Tassia stroked her chin with a long finger; there was no sign of her thoughts on her passive face. "Who would you say is Hyrule's rightful King then?" She asked gently.

"Aganhim, of course." Snapped Impa. "He has all the right credentials."

Tassia smiled slightly. "Who is to say that King Ganondorf has not the right credentials too – he won the battle for this country, did he not? That does give him a certain advantage over Aganhim. However, you are the judges of this nation, so I am sure the people will accept whatever decision you make. In the end, the strongest will prevail."

"Pah, you would say that. You are a Gerudo yourself." Said Impa. "Of course you want a Gerudo King sitting on the Hylian throne."

"I may be a Gerudo," Said Tassia, her eyes glinting ever so slightly, "But that does not mean I cannot see the reasoning behind your choice. Aganhim is a powerful wizard, but a weak fool. A man easily led and often beguiled. As such, it would be a matter of relative ease for you judges to…persuade him to accept your viewpoints. King Ganondorf," Here she smiled slightly, "Is not. He is a determined, ruthless and single-minded man. You could not, and would not, manipulate him."

This earned her the glares of the three judges. She smiled back blankly at them. "And so I told Daphnes when we discussed the matter."

"D-daphnes?" Stammered Rauru. He glanced at Impa, who seemed as dumbfounded as he was. "Um, when did you speak to Daphnes?"

"Oh about a week ago. He asked me to find his granddaughter."

"_You_ are the mercenary he hired?" Asked Rauru, completely bewildered.

"I am and that is why I am interested in this wolf of yours. You see - I have reason to suspect that the wolf is actually Zelda. My sources indicate that she was enchanted by someone…"

"Link." Muttered Impa coldly.

"Quite possibly, Link is an adept of sorts." Tassia had absolutely no idea if Link could or could not use magic but she reasoned that the Judges would not know that either. "It is a perfectly cunning plan if you think about it – nobody would suspect that his wolf companion is actually a kidnapped girl, would they?"

"He did not say anything of this to me." Mused Impa.

"Why would he? I certainly would not! No doubt you explained to him that Zelda had been kidnapped and I would imagine that this "Link" you hired is not stupid enough to declare himself a kidnapper." Tassia allowed this thought to take root in her companion's minds, all the while thinking quickly. If she could pin the blame on Zelda's disappearance on Link, then she could easily persuade the Judges to give her the task of finding him. And if she found him, she suspected she would find Zelda too. She was confident she could easily deal with Link – after all, she did know him well. Once Link was disposed of, Nabooru could get on with the important task of restoring Zelda to Ganondorf.

This plan depended on convincing the Judges that Zelda was indeed trapped in the body of a wolf. She glanced over at the judges and appraised them swiftly. Rauru was trusting but wary. Impa was just plain useless. Kru was…perfect, decided Tassia. He was torn between having his opinions heard and lusting after the perfect, mesmerising specimen of Gerudo flesh standing before his eyes. She smiled softly at him.

"It is absolutely ridiculous." Said Impa, "There is no way that wolf is Zelda. That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard in my life!"

"There is only one way to find out whether she is or not." Replied Rauru. "We have to see her, make her communicate with us."

"Surely you are not convinced are you?"

Rauru rubbed the back of his head nervously, "Well… it is plausible…"

"Fool."

Nabooru laced her fingers together and cracked them. "Judges, please, there is no need for this animosity." She said, laughing slightly. Instantly calm was restored. "I believe that the enchantment was a particularly strong one, I do not think that communication will be possible, however, it is telling that the beast-I mean-the girl, ran to your house, Judge Impa. Why select that one out of all the homes here? I cannot imagine it is the most inviting home in the village – however, Zelda would know it, would she not?"

Impa reluctantly agreed.

"Well then, if we can capture this beast-I mean-Girl, perhaps it would be best to seek the advice of Aganhim. He will be able to tell us, not only if we are correct in our presumption that this is indeed Zelda, but also he will be able to lift the enchantment. Thus my role is complete, and you have Daphnes' precious child back within your folds."

"I suppose." Said Impa. She didn't like to agree with the beautiful Gerudo woman, but what she said made sense. To her anyway.

"In that case, I will attempt to capture the wolf-I mean-Zelda. I imagine it-um-she is quite frightened and hungry by now, so I had better only take one other person with me." She looked pointedly at Kru, ignoring Impa. Kru saw her invitation and shuddered. He was torn between pure fear and the desire to impress this woman. Desire won.

**

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**They returned a few minutes later, Tassia leading a surprisingly docile looking massive golden wolf, Kru trailing behind, keeping a safe distance between himself and the creature. 

Impa glanced at the blue-eyed animal and instantly recognised it as the one belonging to Link. Surely that Gerudo was not right – was this Zelda? She wondered. If was, then why had it been so happy in Link's presence? She didn't believe Tassia's theory for a second but had no way of disproving it either.

"I explained to the wolf what was happening." Said Tassia calmly, as she watched Impa exchanging a puzzled look with Rauru. "She seemed to understand, hence the reason for her docility. She was sleeping on your bed and had unfortunately ransacked a few of your cupboards, and chewed the wooden legs of your table, and shredded some of your clothes. Other than that, she is fine. She cannot speak, of course, and she is very tired, but we are convinced that this is Zelda, are we not Kru?"

Kru nodded. For once he declined to make any further comment. He seemed a little stunned. He had not been with Tassia when she found the wolf, but remembered hearing a low-pitched growl and then a slight yelp and the next moment Tassia had appeared, leading the wolf around as though it was a tame dog. She had managed to, with very few words but one big smile, convince him that she was correct. He hadn't really concentrated on her too much though, at that point. The sight ot that blunt nose, and large teeth unnerved him. He agreed with everything the Gerudo said, so long as she stood in between him and the monster.

Tassia smiled again. She had had another idea. She knew how to find Aganhim now - she would just accompany the judges. Plus that way she could keep feeding the dog sedatives to keep her quiet. Of course, the judges would not be made privy to the information that she had drugged the animal as soon as she had seen it.

"Is it really you, Zelda?" Stammered Rauru. Something seemed strange about the animal. It appeared to be listing to one side and its eyes were strangely lifeless. Amber's tail wagged slightly, probably in reaction to that kind-sounding voice. Rauru took it as a sign. "Good Gods, it is she!" He exclaimed, "How could that Link do this to her? What shall we do?"

"We must speak with Aganhim, of course." Replied Impa. She cast a quick glance at Tassia, who was again studying her fingers, and sighed. Somehow she knew that Rauru would invite the strange Gerudo woman along and nothing she could do or say would change his mind. She still felt uneasy. She saw a slight smile pass over Tassia's face and knew that the woman was up to something. But what? She decided that she would keep an eye on her. She looked back down at the wolf and grimaced. "I wonder where your owner is?"

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Well you all know the answer to that last question!! We'll see what happens when the Kokiri meet Link in the next chapter. I feel sorry for them already... 


	12. Pity the Kokiri

Thank you to **I.K.A. Valian, Yuleen75, Super Goat Grl, Booklover13 and La Generala **for your reviews, and an especial thanks to **QuinKilo1055** to for your 'Ganondorf sitting around watching soaps suggestion'! I rather like that idea...

By the way, if any of you have a crazy idea you'd like me to include in this story, coz hey, anything goes in this fic no matter how random, let me know either in review or Private Message! And to everyone who expressed concern for Amber in the last chapter, there will be wolf-I mean-dog revenge coming up. Why did I think of "Dog the Bounty Hunter" (TM) when I wrote that??? Hmmm, that might work …er, anyway I digress, I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I love writing this story! ((insert manic grin face here))

Oh yeah, and the chapter is quite long for me, it was originally two chapters, but I just couldn't resist rolling it all into one chapter for your edification! ENJOY!

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Chapter Twelve

Kokiri village was renowned in all of Hyrule for its peace and tranquillity. Few people had ever seen it, and even fewer knew its exact location. The very air of the Lost Woods demanded silence from all who travelled in its depths. From time to time, snatches of a song played on the wings of the wind as it fluttered overhead. Sometimes, the soft murmur of a nearby brook disturbed the peace but no birds sang. Fireflies and fairies floated lazily around in the dusky undergrowth.

Zelda was astonished to see that the solemnity seemed to have affected Link. For the first time since she had met him, he was walking quietly, smiling slightly as he looked around. Tingle too seemed to have been calmed by the restful atmosphere. He seemed perfectly contented (probably because he now was the proud owner of a Moaning Fairy) and apart from breaking into the occasional unmelodious song about fairies, he was behaving himself. The pervading calmness all around her suited Zelda's mood, it gave her chance to think, although more often than not she found that she was thinking about Link and his odd behaviour, and she had to jog her thoughts away from that dangerous ground.

'Really,' she decided as she took another furtive glance at his profile, 'one should not be attracted to a man that has just traded you for a map.' Link must have sensed her gaze, for as she thought this, he looked over at her and smiled. To her absolute horror, Zelda felt a blush spread across her cheeks as she again had the disturbing thought that he really was rather handsome. She hastily turned away. She knew that Link would be grinning.

"How far is it to the Village, Tingle?" She whispered. Determined to keep away from dangerous thoughts of attraction to a lunatic, for Link clearly was a very dangerous escaped idiot.

"Hm? Oh not fairy far." Replied Tingle, with an inane grin on his little face. "Ehhhhehehehehehe, Tingle made a funny. Not _fairy _far. Tingle said Fairy not Very. Hahahahahaha. Does the Fairy get the joke?"

Having long since given up trying to convince Tingle that she really wasn't a fairy, and knowing that he wouldn't let the matter drop until she said understood the joke completely and joined with his hysterical laughter, Zelda smiled and nodded. She was hoping that somebody in the mysterious village would be able to assist her in escaping from the pair of lunatics she was with. Surely they would not be so easily mislead by Link and his stupidly endearing eyes, would they?

Just as this thought passed through her mind, she noticed that Link was walking a little closer to her. She glared at him as he winked at her and gently placed a hand on her arm and slowed their pace. Once Tingle was far enough away, he turned back to her and whispered, "Zelda, listen to me – I am really, really, _really _sorry for all of this. Will you forgive me?"

"No." She whispered back.

"I thought you'd say that." He sighed. She noted that his eyes were dancing, as always, so she did not quite believe that he was as upset as he made out. "I will rescue you, I promise."

"Like I said before – PAH! I don't want you to rescue me, I will do it myself and then I will not be obliged to you anymore and you can leave me alone. I am not impressed by your theatrics, Sir Link, nor am I entirely pleased that you sold me."

"I know, and I am sorry." He said. She didn't know now whether to believe him or not. He looked and sounded entirely sincere – a thing she had not seen before – and she was confused. "I get a little carried away sometimes."

"No kidding…"

"I know. I am an ass." He said, remorsefully. "I just can't help myself sometimes, but I have a plan."

"Great."

Zelda met Link's amused look with a completely bland smile. She may have been fighting an inner struggle to prevent herself from saying, 'oh all right, I forgive you' but she was determined not to let Link see her weakening. Faced with those candid blue eyes that sparkled with mischief and sincerity, she found it a little difficult not to grin back.

"I honestly think this will work. The plan is…"

"You will tell Tingle the truth?" She asked hopefully.

"No, that would be far too complicated. We just go along with the pretence until we can get to this mysterious passage and then we run."

"Is that not a little unfair on Tingle?"

"I suppose." Link smiled reluctantly, "To be honest, I have lived for most of my life in a society where remorse and pity play but a small part in your life. It's a little hard for me to be sympathetic for one who is so clearly insane."

"So speaks Link – the most dangerous lunatic I have ever met." She sighed. "And it is not fair on Tingle, you traded with him in good faith, just because you are a rapscallion doesn't mean I will let you get away with double-crossing him."

"So what would you like me to do?" He whispered back.

"Tell him the truth." She replied, "And do what you promised all along – take me to Impa."

Link rolled his eyes and murmured, "And I'll bet even if I do all that, you still bit won't forgive me, will you?"

"Nope." The smile she had been trying for force into recess finally broke through her defences as she took in his heart-broken look. "You did sell me, Link."

"For a great price."

"For a crummy map and a ostentatiously hideous ring that nobody in their right minds would want…oh wait – that must be why you like it!"

Link laughed at this and from one of his many pockets withdrew the ring and held it up to her, "It's actually quite pretty, don't you think?"

"No, it's big and clumpy."

"Nonsense – it's tiny – see it won't fit on any of my fingers."

"That's because they're all thick – like your head."

"Hey, that's not nice!" He retorted. He held the ring up to the sunlight that glinted through the leaves high above them and examined the emerald solitaire hidden in the centre of the embossed leaf shape. "I actually think this is pretty valuable, you know." He remarked. "I am tempted to say that it is almost, but not quiet, as pretty as you!"

"Enough with the flirting, Link."

"Flirting? Me? I wouldn't dream of it!" Laughed Link. He attempted to look serious for a moment, but considering his eyes were dancing with mischief, it was rather impossible. It was also rather impossible for Zelda to retain her indifference to him when he was watching her in such a way . He studied her face for a moment, and then a tell tale grin flashed across it. Zelda had another feeling of doom and dread. "Do you know, I think you secretly like me, Princess." He remarked in all sincerity.

"Like you?" Zelda repeated in dumbfounded amazement. "Why, that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say. And I have heard a lot of dumb things from you, Linkipoo. You do know I think you're mad, don't you?"

"That doesn't mean you don't like me though." He remarked, with a particularly evil grin on his face. "How unfortunate for you!"

"How unfortunate for you that your mind tricks you into having such ridiculous delusions."

"It's very odd," Said Link as if she hadn't just attempted to shoot his ego down, "The more I see of you, the more I like you. Your beautifully eloquent way of expressing your complete, enduring and eternal devotion to me is so sweet..." He winked at her and added innocently, "…it makes me want to weep."

"Shut up, you idiot." Link laughed and threw his arm around her shoulders and gave her a hug. He was like a puppy, she decided as she pushed him away half-heartedly – a big, lollopy Hylian Labrador – sweet, endearing and determined. And he hadn't learnt the meaning of 'no'. He looked at her from underneath his mop of golden hair and grinned. Zelda choked.

"Thanks for forgiving me."

"I haven't."

"Oops, sorry, I thought you had!" Link gave her his best grin and Zelda choked again. She hastily turned away. "I'll tell you what, I will trade your forgiveness for, not only a Link-styled 'rescue Zelda from Tingle' package, worth thousands believe me, but I will also throw in this delightful ring. What say you?"

"Besides 'you are crazy'?" Smiling up at her from under his unruly hair, the way he was, Zelda was again reminded of a puppy hopefully seeking approval from its master after being naughty. He had the same big-eyed pleading look and crestfallen droop of the mouth. If he had a tail, she thought, it would be wagging. Unfortunately for Zelda, an image of Link with a big, bushy tail flashed through her (regretfully) over-active imagination at this precise moment and she giggled.

Taking this as acceptance of his heartfelt desire, Link grinned again, making her choke even more. He then dropped to his knees before her, "Ah, my lady fair, I beg thee accept this token of my affection…" He began. Zelda turned away in acute embarrassment. On seeing this, Link only started to laugh. He remained where he was, humbling himself before her, but dropped the medieval act, "Please accept this token-oh no, I've used that word already, um-accept this…symbol of my gratitude to your magnanimity and a deposit on my supplication for your benign mercy?"

"Wow, those were some pretty big words there, Linkipoo. Do you even know what they mean?"

"Nope but they sounded good!" He replied instantly.

She choked again as Link, with a great deal too much pomp and ceremony, slid the heavy signet ring over her slender index finger and kissed her hand. And then they both realised that it wouldn't come off.

It was perhaps inevitable that Tingle would notice that his new found, beloved and delightfully tall Moaning Fairy (Zelda) and his newest, bestest friend in the whole entire world (Link) had disappeared. He had been merrily dancing along, singing an entirely original (and completely tuneless) ditty about how he would rule the Kokiri forever, and how his father would be forced to eat his words about his good-for-nothing 'special' son when he saw that he had become a God amongst fairies, when he noticed their absence So he turned around and suddenly his song was forgotten.

It was not the fact that they had fallen some way behind that caused him to yell his favourite battle cry of "KOOOOOLOOOO LIMPAAAAAAAAAH!" but the fact that his precious fairy was at that precise moment swamped in an embrace from her erstwhile companion and although she was pushing him away, she was giggling.

"NO. NO. NO. NO! Bad Sir." Cried Tingle, as he dashed back towards them, his cheeks glowing red. His legs moved so fast that he almost tripped up a few times. "Do not flirt with Tingle's fairy!"

Link tried his best to school his features into one that didn't involve grinning, or laughing in some way, for it was clear Tingle was upset. Zelda took one look at Tingle's little top-heavy form, running at top speed, and the way that his pointed hat bobbed up and down on his head as he ran, choked and turned away. Link waited until Tingle was not bent double with exertion, panting heavily before he made an attempt at defending himself. "I wasn't flirting, kind sir." He replied calmly.

"Tingle…saw…you h-hug…Tingle's… fairy." Gasped Tingle, clearly not as recovered from his sprint as Link had originally thought. Seeing the irate, odd face before him, and the way that Zelda was still desperately gnawing at her hand in an attempt to prevent any further giggles escaping on her part, Link couldn't help but smile. And make matters worse.

"I did warn you she was very attached to me." He explained, contritely.

There was a suspicious cough noise coming from Zelda's general vicinity. Link glanced at her and saw that she had stuffed both of her hands into her mouth and was pointedly avoiding his gaze. "I was just trying to convince her that you, Tingle, are a much better prospect than I will ever be."

"Eh?" Tingle was confused, and suspicious.

"Alas, it is true. These Moaning Fairies are fickle, feckless creatures. One moment they avow their heart to you, the next they see a strapping, handsome, attracitve Kokiri Lord in their line of vision and Whoosh, they're off like a rocket." Zelda choked again. "I was just telling Fairy Zelda, because she said she really fancied Lord Tingle, that if she behaved very, very well and was good to Lord Tingle – making him drinks, and rubbing his feet and carrying him around when he is tired, and so on, and so forth, that he will like her back."

"Fairy Zelda will carry Tingle around?" Enquired Tingle suspiciously. Clearly this thought was the only one that he had paid any attention to and was the most attractive to him. He had always wanted to be tall. He did not notice that 'Fairy Zelda' had turned around and was giving Link's back a very pointed glare.

"Of course she will, won't you?" Link winked at his long-suffering companion. It wasn't the wink, but the mischievous smile that immediately followed it that finally battered down her defences.

"Fine, fine. I'll do whatever you want." She sighed, more to Link than Tingle although he didn't notice this, and instantly demanded a shoulder ride.

Link considered this for a moment and then said, "No, Fairy Zelda is useless at giving directions and taking them – I mean, that is how we got lost (in the Lost Woods) in the first place - so you'd better ride on my shoulders, Lord Tingle of the Kokiri." Tingle saw no reason to object to this plan. The only thing that worried him was the way that Zelda seemed to be pledging to kill Link just as soon as the opportunity presented itself.

"Ah, don't worry about that." Said Link, casting a wicked glance at the fuming Zelda, "It's one of the traits of a Moaning Fairy. She likes to cast death threats on the one she loves the most. It's a token of their affection, and once you see past the ominous, naturally sadistic trend of their thoughts, it's actually quite cute."

**

* * *

**Tingle was a small man. But he was heavy. Link was secretly glad that the Kokiri village was not actually more than a half-hour walk from their previous stop. Deeper and deeper into the woods they had gone. At one point, Link believed that they had gone around in a circle again, but Tingle had insisted that he knew the way, and being a cartographer, it was likely that he actually did, so neither he or Zelda complained. 

The woods were thicker and deeper near the village, and the air was still and quite warm. Link wasn't sure if he liked it as much as the outskirts of the wood. There was something odd about it. However, he was not afraid. He had been trained throughout his life to scorn fear, and had been raised to be confident in every situation. He glanced at Zelda, who was walking to his left, and wondered how she was faring.

He noticed she was not one for complaining. Even when he had been horrible to her, she had retained a pretty serene attitude towards him, only half-threatening revenge and murder. They had been on their feet all day, even Link was feeling the strain, but she had not actually said a word about her feet being sore (which he imagined they were, given that she wore heeled boots), or being too hot (which he guessed she was, as the dress she wore was made of thick wool) or that she had been abominably used by him. Well, perhaps she had said one or two things about that, but even so, she had forgiven him with very little persuasion on his part. He wondered if she really was that sweet, or whether he was going to be in for a nasty shock later on.

Glancing at her profile, which betrayed the weariness that she was determined not to show, he decided not.

The three companions were silent for three reasons, the first was that Zelda refused to speak to either of them, the second was that they were sneaking up to the village (just in case they weren't welcome) and third, Link had threatened to 'let Tingle fall from his shoulders if he dared start singing that tuneless piece of filth that he had been composing again'. In other words Tingle was sulking too.

The trees overhead seemed to be whispering as they passed through the dark forest. High in the canopy, Link could see little white fairies watching them suspiciously. He idly wondered if he could con one of them into trading places with Zelda. It was as he was half-plotting this course, that Tingle broke his sullen silence by saying, "There it is, Bad Sir. Kokiri Village." And that was Link's cue to finally drop Tingle back onto the floor.

Ahead of them was a large hollowed out tree trunk lying on its side, completely fenced in by tall, mossy rocks, trees and vines. A lone sentry guarded the entrance; his little feet planted squarely apart, unruly red hair peeping from under his pointed green cap, a white fairy circling his head lazily. Link crept forward slightly and noted that the sentry was not looking into the forest, as he should be, but in to the village. Link wondered why the sentry was apparently more preoccupied by preventing anyone from leaving rather than letting anyone enter. He wondered if he could sneak past.

"Why, they are children!" Exclaimed Zelda quietly. "I thought they'd be like Tingle."

"Yeah, me too." He whispered back. He suddenly chuckled, "I was imagining some almighty magical folk from the way Tingle described them. I'm disappointed." Link noted that Zelda had forgotten her anger (again) and was smiling at him. "You could just pick the kid up and move him to one side, you're at least twice his height!" She said.

"I know." He grinned, "It's not a bad plan, you know. He's not even armed."

"Apart from with that little fairy."

"Maybe I could borrow the fairy…" Said Link. "And give it to Tingle, then I can have you back as _my _fairy."

"Quit whilst your ahead, Link." Zelda advised him coolly. "We'll have no more stealing, sneaking or lying whilst I am around, thank you."

"Damn, looks like I will have to get rid of you after all." They both started laughing. Unfortunately, this alerted Tingle to the fact he was being ignored. He had been happily imagining his complete overthrowing of the hapless Kokiri, and had been busy picturing their Tingle-Worship, when the sound of soft laughter interrupted his pleasant dreams.

"What are you talking about?" Asked Tingle, in his usual high-pitched, tuneless and extremely loud voice.

"EEK!" Shouted the sentry, swinging around to face the forest. "INTRUDERS!"

"Eeh-hehe, hello, Mr Fairy!" Called Tingle cordially.

The fairy-child's blue eyes widened perceptibly. Even from a distance they heard his gasp of horror. He stepped back and seemed to be torn between fight and flight. His little body shook as he tried to obey his duty to keep unwelcome persons from out of his village. He shouted back, "NO! BAD TINGLE!!! GO AWAY! YOU'RE NOT WELCOME HERE!" He took another step back as Tingle grinned happily.

"Hey wait for Tingle, Mr Fairy!" Called Tingle.

"GO AWAY!" Called the child, still torn between his duty of protecting his village from invading Tingles and his dread of the said Tingle.

Watching from the sidelines, Link and Zelda exchanged a glance of mutual amusement and exasperation and stood up, ready to join the fray. The sentry, who looked to be about ten years old at the most, took one look at the two tall Hylians standing there, gulped and ran in the opposite direction. "EEEK! GIANTS!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES…"

"WAIT!" Yelled Tingle.

The Kokiri child didn't seem to hear as he put on an extra spurt of speed and ran screaming and crying into the village.

"No don't wait." Called Link after the fleeing figure. He stepped forward calmly and added, "I think we've just gained access to the village. And all I had to do was stand up."

"I told you that you are terrifying." Remarked Zelda as she took his offered arm and walked through the hollow tree trunk with him. "Even kids are scared of you."

"No, it was the sight of you that got to him." He retorted.

"Wait for Tingle!" Came a call from behind.

"You sure you don't just want to run away now?" Whispered Link, his eyes glinting with mischief. "We could easily outrun him…"

"It's tempting thought." Replied Zelda, sighing as she heard Tingle puffing away as he ran to catch up with them them, although she refused to watch him running again, as Link had. "But I am determined to teach you some morals, my friend, so we will stick this out."

"Fine." Link took a look around at the little wooden houses, and shallow stream that ran right through the village and noticed that all the doors were shut, all the windows were rapidly being closed and there was nobody in sight. This only made him smile more. "Isn't this place just cute?"

"Very funny, Link. Like you'd appreciate dolls houses and that sort of thing. I thought you were all 'Oooo, I'm Link - I've been brought up to be all fearless, macho and manly…'" Replied Zelda, doing a rather accurate imitation of Link's voice. He looked down at her in amazement.

"Do that again." He begged.

"What?"

"My voice – that was great!" He laughed. "I had no idea you were so good at impressions. I could make a fortune…" Zelda's eyes narrowed dangerously, Link chuckled and corrected himself, "I mean _you_ could make a fortune from that and zapping people at random and creating fireballs – just think you could be a one-woman show. And I could be your manager…"

"Don't even think about it, Link." She warned him. "You are not profiteering from me in any other way, shape or form, I refuse to let you."

"Are you sure?" He begged, using his big, pleading eyes to their best advantage. Although she smiled, she shook her head. He seemed to accept defeat but Zelda was not convinced he had let go of the idea entirely. Especially when he cast an impish sideward glance at her.

'Really', she thought, 'the sooner she got back into Impa's safe care, away from this lunatic, the better it would be for her peace of mind'. She carefully, and wilfully ignored the little voice in her head that was telling her that she was actually enjoying her time with him, by reminding herself (sternly) that this idiot had cut her hair, dragged her around in circles for three days all the while following a blank piece of paper, had traded her for a map, and then had tried to make amends by giving her a tacky emerald ring (if it was indeed a real emerald), which was now stuck on her finger. All he had to recommend himself to her was his looks (which, admittedly were nice but she _had _met handsome men before), his voice (which was really, really attractive…), his eyes (she had always liked blue-eyed men)…his smile…his charm…his… Zelda stopped herself thinking about him at this point, refusing to acknowledge that she was growing rather fond of him.

Of course, the knowledge that her inner self was telling the truth, and against her better judgement she did quite like Link, only put her in a bad mood. So she glared at him.

"Now what have I done?" He asked, shrugging his shoulders in exasperation.

"Look, will you stop prating about and get on with what we came here to do?" She snapped, determined not to let herself fall into the trap of being nice to him.

"Which I have done, so now I just need to find Keese Cavern and I'll be on my way. Toodle-pip, Princessy." Said Link cheerfully.

"Ah-ha, not so fast." She grabbed his collar and pulled him slightly closer to her. "You still owe me, Linkipoop. Remember your little speech from before – something about my 'benign mercy'?"

"I do." He grinned down at her, and as their eyes met, she saw something akin to affection lurking in his eyes. Surely he did not like her, did he? Whatever would a man like him see in a boring, sheltered and grumpy girl like her? She wondered, for a second anyway, before she caught back up with her runaway thoughts and reprimanded herself. Regardless of what it was in his eyes, it lingered there for a long moment and made it quite impossible for her to turn away.

"Hey! Tingle said no flirting with Tingle's fairy." Came an irritated voice from somewhere below them. Zelda jumped at the sound, and looked away, a blush on her cheeks. Which was exactly what she did not want to happen. She knew Link would be laughing at her again, but as she cast a furtive glance at him, she saw that he was staring at her, with a confused expression on his face. 'Oh dear', thought Zelda.

"Tingle demands to meet with the Kokiri." Demanded Tingle, evidently feeling that whatever was going on between his fairy and his newest, bestest friend, was no where near as important as making sure Tingle got what he wanted.

"That might be a little tricky," Said Link, recovering quickly from his Zelda-induced stupor, "They all appear to have hidden from you."

"Well knock on their doors and tell them that a fairy has finally come to Tingle after all these years and now they must let him live in the forest with them."

"Why can't you tell them?" Asked Link.

"Um…Tingle has a reason…"

"They can't kick you out now you have a fairy, can they?" He mused, "Surely you want to declare this good news for yourself, don't you, Tingle? Your moment of triumph has arrived – you should laud it over them all!"

"Don't encourage him." Muttered Zelda, almost to herself, only Link was standing close enough to her to hear, so he winked at her.

"Ehh-he-he-huuuuhh" Sighed Tingle. "Ah, Kind Sir, it is not that easy. The Kokiri are mean to Tingle. They do not want Tingle in their Village. They say he is just a fat little old man who has de-de-oh what is it? - de…limptions?"

"Delusions." Zelda corrected him kindly, "Link could tell you all about those, couldn't you, Link?"

"Yep, indeed." Answered Link, in his usual sunny manner. Zelda couldn't decide whether his ability to completely ignore any insult flung at him was a flaw or an asset.

"Yes," Said Tingle. "It is hard to be a fairy when nobody believes you are one."

"It is. However, it is harder to be on the receiving end of the opposite statement without even having the satisfaction of being allowed to hit the originator of the said fable." Said Zelda, with a pointed look at Link.

"It is my recollection that you did hit me." Link reminded her. Zelda choked and Tingle looked confused. Too many long words had been used for him to understand what his fairy was talking about. He decided that he would have to teach her to only use simple phrases like, "Hey", "Listen", "Watch Out", and "Hail King Tingle". Those were the only phrases a fairy need know, he decided.

"Yes anyway, Kind Sir, Tingle must speak with the Kokiri now. Link will tell them that he has a fairy and that makes him a Kokiri."

"If I do, what will you trade me?" Asked Link, his eyes narrowing slightly.

"Nothing. Link owes Tingle."

"Do I?"

"Yes. Tingle brought Link to the Kokiri Village. Link promised he would get Tingle _into _the village. He has not yet done so, Kind Sir."

"Aren't you in the village now?" Queried Link.

"Yes, and No." Replied Tingle, a slightly worrying grin on his face. "Tingle did not say exactly what was meant by '_into _the village'. Tingle meant to be _accepted into _the village. Those were the conditions of the trade for Tingle's Map and Tingle's Ring. Kind Sir - you owe me."

"Wow, duped by Tingle. I'd never have thought that was possible." Laughed Zelda.

"Silence, Fairy." Commanded Tingle. "You talk to much!"

"Excuse me?"

"Shhh. Tingle is your master now. You must be quiet. Tingle does not want an annoying Navi Fairy who talks constantly and pointlessly. Tingle will use magic on you to keep you quiet if you do not behave."

"Wow, shot down by Tingle. Who'd have thought that?" Murmured Link, for Zelda's ears only. She frowned at him. He rolled his eyes and turned to Tingle, "Very well, I'll admit maybe I wasn't clear on the terms of our deal and maybe getting you into the village was not what I originally thought." For a second he stared down at Tingle, who stood as tall as he could, feet planted firmly apart, big bottom lip protruding slightly and his cheeks flushed. Link shook his head and then smiled kindly, "Very well, I will help you." He said.

Zelda gave him a suspicious look but to her amazement, Link was being sincere. He held his hand out to Tingle, and as the little man shook on the deal he said gently, "I don't mind being duped, you know? I do it often enough myself to object to anyone getting revenge on me. What would you like me to do?"

Tingle laughed excitedly and couldn't resist casting a little (Limppaaa) to celebrate but he managed to explain that all Link needed to do was convince the leader of the Kokiri that Tingle's fairy was real. And that owning a fairy made him a Kokiri. And since he would be the only adult Kokiri, he would automatically become their new, beloved leader.

"I'll see what I can do. What's the name of this leader then?"

"Um…Tingle thinks it is Mingo…or something."

"That's all I need." Said Link. He took a step away from his two companions, one of whom was still stunned after being berated by Tingle, and yelled as loud as he could:

"**MINGOOOOOOOOOOOOO**…"

Somewhere in the village, a door opened…**

* * *

**

"Mido." Came an angry voice, accompanied by the sound of running feet. "My name is Mido, you twerp. Everyone always gets my name wrong. Now, who dares disturb the peace of the Kokiri?"

From behind one of the wooden houses, a stout little boy ran forward. His hair was gingery, his face heavily freckled and his eyes were green. He looked particularly cross. Like Tingle, he was dressed from head to toe in green, only he was wearing a thick brown belt with a short sword pushed through it, and on his back was strapped a little wooden shield. He drew his sword and pointed it at Tingle. "Oh it's you, is it? I thought I warned you never to come back to this village, Mr No-Fairy." He growled. Or at least it was the closest to a growl his childish voice could get. Link couldn't help but grin at the sight of Tingle being threatened by a child who was smaller than him.

"Tingle has got a fairy." Retorted Tingle, watching the sword nervously.

"Really, well I don't see none." Said Mido, taking a step forward.

"Hey, put away the sword, kid. You shouldn't play with those things until you are way older." Suddenly interrupted Link. He leaned over and plucked the sword from Mido's grasp with a simple twist.

"Who the heck are you?" Asked Mido fearfully as he jumped up to try and grab his sword back.

"I'm Link. I'm here with Tingle." Answered Link as he held the sword aloft and shook his head.

"Pah, you don't s-scare me." Stated Mido, his voice suggesting otherwise. The sight of a strapping, young, golden-haired Hylian standing before him was a little daunting to one who was barely three foot tall. "Gimme my sword back. It doesn't belong to you."

"You shouldn't play with swords." Said Zelda kindly, stepping in when Link coughed. "They are very dangerous."

"Listen, lady, I can do what I like! I'm the leader here."

Apart from her obvious distaste at being addressed in such a rude manner, Zelda managed to keep her face straight as she said soothingly, "I do not dispute that, but you children should not be playing with weapons. They are naughty."

"Children? NAUGHTY?" Repeated Mido, on the verge of fury. He jumped up again to snatch his sword back but Link only held it higher above his head. "How old do you morons think I am?" He glared at Link and finished, "I'm three-flipping-hundred. THREE HUNDRED YEARS OLD! Do you hear? Just coz I look like a child don't mean I am one."

"Three _Hundred_?" Link repeated the word incredulously and avoided looking at Zelda who was in the middle of a mysterious coughing fit. "Wow. You'd need some seriously good ID to prove that at any of the Hylian Bars I go to!"

"Shut up." Said Mido. "We Kokiri have no need of bars and the outside world, and we don't need outsiders either."

"Do you know what a bar is?"

"No." Admitted Mido.

"Then you don't know if you need one or not." Link cast an appraising glance at the little figure before him and grinned slightly, "I'd say you probably do. Some beer would help you grow a nice, manly beard and belly. Then I'd believe you were older than, I dunno, ten?"

"ARGH, I hate you flipping Hylians." Shouted Mido.

"Actually, I'm Catalian not Hylian." Said Link calmly. "You are a rude little thing aren't you? What's your bugbear?"

"You!" Retorted Mido, anxious to be angry at anything and everything that spoke to him.

"Oh, do leave off, Mido." Came a soft, girl's voice. "I'm sure our visitors mean us no harm, and I am certain that even if they have brought Tingle here, there is a reason."

"EEK, Saria." Exclaimed Mido, and magically the grumpy child was gone, replaced by an innocent, angelic looking boy who smiled sweetly at his guests. He smoothed his hair from his face and brushed an imaginary piece of fluff from his shoulder before turning around. Behind him stood a girl, she looked about twelve, and had huge blue eyes, a perpetually sweet smile and green hair. That was a thing Link had never seen before – real, proper, grass green hair. He couldn't take his eyes off it. So he didn't notice that the girl blushed as she glanced at him.

"Hi, I'm Saria. It's nice to meet you." She called in a happy voice. Even though she was half their height, she still held out both her hands to each of them in turn and embraced them. That was until she got to Tingle. She didn't hold out her hands to him, but she didn't frown either. She just smiled slightly and said, "Hello again, Tingle."

"Hello, Mistress Fairy." Said Tingle in a subdued manner.

She folded her arms sternly and asked, "I thought we agreed last time you so kindly visited us that you were not a Kokiri? Do you remember, the Kokiri cannot leave this forest and all Kokiri children have a fairy companion? You promised me you would not come back."

"Ehhehehehehehe, Tingle has got a fairy now, mistress Fairy." Replied Tingle, much to her astonishment. "This Kind Sir found one for him.

"O-oh?" Saria's first favourable impression of Link (admittedly it was a rather dazzled first impression) was rapidly being replaced by a feeling of dread. Zelda could have told her that it was par for the course, and that the anxiety and shock she felt now would be nothing compared to what she would experience after a few days of association with him, but as Zelda knew what was inevitably coming next, she held her peace.

"Um, where…where is the fairy?" Stammered Saria, looking closely at Tingle, unless he had managed to capture one of the Healing Fairies in a bottle (which in her opinion didn't count as a real fairy companion) then he was still as fairyless as he was brainless.

"Tingle's fairy is a special fairy." Announced Tingle dramatically. Zelda cringed. "She is a Moaning Fairy."

"A Moaning…" Began Mido.

"Fairy?" Finished Saria. If the suspicion that he was mad had not already occurred to them many times before, it would have now. He was clearly out of his mind. They had never in all their years heard of such a thing.

"Hah. Tingle knew you would not believe." Tingle laughed maniacally. "So he brought her to show you. Kooolooo LIMPAAAAHHHH!!" He threw his little bits of paper in the air and danced in a little circle, accidentally bumping into Mido as he did.

"Oof. Oh you are such an idiot. This is exactly why we don't welcome outsiders…" Snarled Mido.

Tingle appeared to have adopted Link's immunity to threats and insults. "Ehehehe, Tingle is so lucky to have a FAIRY!" He sang, hopping from one foot to another. "Behold – Tingle's fairy." And with these words he pointed at Zelda.

For a long moment, two pairs of childish eyes observed her. There was silence all around. Zelda smiled slightly and waved a hand. And then…

"Pppppppphhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahah…oh my, that's your f-fairy??" Giggled Saria, Mido clung to her for support as he sniggered. She gasped for breath as she struggled to control her giggles. "ppphh…S-she'sss hehe…pp…h-hehe…huge…"

"I can't…breath." Complained Mido as he bent double. "I've not laugh…ed so m-much in age…hoohooo…ages."

"She is a fairy!" Said Tingle. "Link said so."

The sound of more wails accompanied this. The two Kokiri clung to one another for support. Zelda watched them for a moment and weighed up her current options. The way she saw it, there were three options, she could admit to the truth, and ask these adult-children for help. She could abandon Link and Tingle to their ridiculous pretence and run for her life (and sanity). Or she could do something completely and utterly stupid.

Where she got the idea for her third option, she never knew. She didn't even know if it would work, but she did know she was going to regret her actions. But she couldn't back down and let these children, or whatever they were, laugh at Link. That was her job. And so she said, "SILENCE, FOREST CHILDREN. I have had enough of your insubordination. How dare you dishonour me so!"

"W-What?" Saria recovered first. She cast a puzzled glance at Zelda and then shook her head, "Don't try to fool us. We may look like children, but we're not! We're not easily taken in by practical jokes."

"Are you doubting the word of the Great Wailing Fairy?" Zelda glowered at the Kokiri and folded her arms across her chest.

"Um…there's no such thing as a Great Wailing Fairy." Said Saria gently. It was obvious to her that Zelda, whom she had previously thought looked quite sane, was as mad as her companions.

"You mean 'Moaning Fairy'." Whispered Link. Zelda smiled but kept her attention fixed firmly on the Kokiri before her. "Do not doubt what you do not know." She said softly. She closed her eyes and placed her hands, one on top of the other in front of her. Suddenly a thick green light shot out from the signet ring she wore (the one jammed onto her finger by Link earlier). The light shrouded her from head to toe. White tendrils of smoke and tiny stars shimmered and twisted all around her body, as though they were caught in a whirlwind. Tingle and the two Kokiri squealed. Link leaned back against a nearby tree and watched her appreciatively.

Slowly the green light faded, but the tiny stars remained. As it disbursed into the canopy of the forest, Zelda stepped forward. She had changed.

Gone was the drab woollen dress, in its place a long white robe, tied under the bust and around the waist in golden ribbon. Gone were her boots, replaced with dainty golden sandals. Gone was her neat plat of hair, in its place her golden hair was twisted into curls that were caught about her head and fell from the nape of her graceful neck. She was decorated in emeralds and golden chains and on her back, a pair of delicate golden-green wings softly wafted back and forth. The emerald ring on her finger glittered magnificently.

"Um…" Said Mido as he knelt before the Great Wailing Fairy.

"Wow!" Said Saria as she knelt respectfully at his side.

"My fairy!" Exclaimed Tingle joyfully, skilfully breaking the astonishment felt by all. For the second time in the same day, Zelda was cannoned into by an excited Tingle. She managed to retain her footing this time but curiously, she had her complete attention fixed on Link. She smiled as she noted that he did look stunned, and his mouth was slightly agape, but also was disappointed to see that his eyes had their usual twinkle in them. For a moment, he watched her and then he mouthed the words, "I could make a _fortune_ from you!!!"

She rolled her eyes and turned back to the two Kokiri. "Now do you believe? I _am _the Great Wailing Fairy."

"We believe, Great Fairy, but why, by the Skull Kids Song, are you with Tingle of all people?" Asked Saria in complete incredulity.

"Ah, that is a long story." She said, whilst glaring at Link.

"We believe, but it still doesn't mean we accept Tingle though. He's a lunatic." Mido cast a very telling look at Zelda – the great Wailing Fairy- and sighed, "You can stay though."

Both Saria and Link were just about to object to this plan, both for a similar reason, when a voice came wafting through the wind. It was a voice as hyperactive and high-pitched as Tingle, yet wise and strangely wooden, it sighed, "IIIIII will beeee the judge oooof that…"

Saria and Mido exchanged a confused look. "Was that the Maku Tree?" Whispered Saria. Mido nodded fearfully.

The eerie voice rushed through the leaves again, as if in answer, it said "YESSSSSSSS, it is IIIIIIIIII. Bring them allll to meeeee."

Saria sighed and glanced at Link, wondering what treat was in store for their visitors. "Oh dear." She said.

* * *

Wow, my first sorta cliff hanger. Okay, so it was lame but still, I hope it encourages you all to read on! If only to find out how and why Zelda can now do magic and what the Maku Tree wants... 

I will stop waffling now, oh wait, no I won't, I just have to say **_YAY for ZELINK_**, oh yeah, and please, pretty please **review**. Or I will set Tingle on you…


	13. Oh Myeth

Thanks to **Yuleen75, Guntou, QuinKilo1055,la generala, Kindra Mckleen and Quick and thanks for the suggestions! I will be using some of them…(You've been warned!!)** Oh yeah, and in reply to Quick's question, there are a number of really good Ganondorf X Nabooru fics about on this site, one of my faves is Confused Desire, by Silvite's Cry.

Anyways, I have started to name my chapters, just for a laugh. It might (or might not) give you a clue as to what's going to happen next. Maybe eventually I will even get around to the whole point of this story and talk about the Chameleon Stone (you never know )

**Finally THANK YOU VERY ****MUCH **to everybody reading this for your continued support, I can't believe how much people like my story. I am very flattered and hope you all continue to enjoy it (and review!!)

* * *

Chapter Thirteen – Oh My(eth)

After staring at the Kokiri (who were anxiously muttering to each other) for a good couple of moments, Zelda finally decided she ought to speak –having convinced the Kokiri she was a fairy and all. "Who, or what is the Maku tree?" She demanded.

She did not miss the look that passed between Saria and Mido – it was one of distinct resignation, much like the ones that appeared on her own face when she was faced with one of Link's many escapades. She quickly ran through the bits of Hylian History she remembered from her days under her grandfather's tutelage. "Aren't the Kokiri ruled by the Great Deku tree?" She asked, inadvertently making Link cast her a surprised look. Evidently he was impressed by her knowledge.

"Well, yes we are." Saria agreed reluctantly. "And the Deku Tree _is_ still here, watching over us…it's just that…well…he's a bit asleep at the moment. And whilst he's been sleeping, the Maku Trees just sorta grew there in the clearing with him. And now they're much to big for us to move them anywhere else."

"What's wrong with that?" Asked Link, laughing. "Trees _do _tend to grow in forests."

"Yeah." Said Saria, a little doubtfully. "Um…the Maku trees are all right, I suppose. It's just…"

"Just what?" Asked Link, kindly.

Saria blushed a little bit, not being used to be on the receiving end of solicitude from a handsome Hylian (no, she meant, Catalian) before. She glanced up at Link and melted. He was smiling kindly at her, his blue eyes filled with amusement and understanding. She brushed her green hair away from her face and attempted to smile back.

"That Maku tree is a blinking nuisance." Said Mido. "The female Maku Tree, that is. And I reckon that's why the Great Deku tree won't wake up. I mean - who'd want to with _her_ around?"

"Mido, hush." Whispered Saria, anxiously. "She might hear you." Link noticed that she didn't disagree with her companion though. Some inner feeling told him that he should try to avoid this meeting with the tree if he could. He quickly took stock of his companions, wondering which one he should pick on-er, no wrong word…_use_, to help aid him in his bid for freedom. Tingle wasn't even on the consideration list. Mido seemed like a good (three-hundred year old) kid at heart, but wouldn't trust Link. On the other hand Saria seemed too trusting. So that left Zelda. Again. A particularly sinister grin spread across Link's face as he carefully watched his long-suffering Wailing Fairy.

Unfortunately for Link, Zelda's new fairy powers seemed to have granted her an eye in the back of her head, and she turned around, before even a half-second had passed. She noted Link's smile, immediately replaced by an innocent look, and raised her eyebrows. "What are you plotting?"

"Oh, nothing. Nothing. We should just not keep this delightful Mucky tree waiting, that's all." Link's innocence might have convinced the Kokiri and Tingle that he was honest, but Zelda was not fooled. She tapped her fingertips together and watched him for a moment, solemnly. After a pause, to make sure he was suitably abashed, she decided that she might as well go along with him, as usual. So she suddenly announced, "We will go to the _Maku _Tree. Not 'Mucky' Tree, Sir Link. Please, lead the way, Kokiri Children."

Mido grumbled something about being called a child, but he started walking. Tingle managed to wedge himself in between the two Kokiri, leaving Link trailing behind with Zelda. She wasn't sure if that's what he had been planning or not, but she did notice that he was deliberately dawdling so that they fell behind again. She waited until the Kokiri and Tingle had rounded a corner, taking a path in between two tall cliffs before she said, "I want a word with you, Linkipoo."

He saw the stern look on her face and rolled his eyes mischievously. "Now what have I done?"

"I just wanted to know how you are planning to rescue me from this delightful situation we now find ourselves in." She replied, sweetly.

"I reckon you're more than capable of doing that yourself." Said Link, with a grin. "I mean you _have _just transformed yourself into a fairy. Nothing I could ever say or do would ever match that for sheer theatrical brilliance. And you didn't even scream! I'm impressed."

"Actually, so am I, because whatever I did actually managed to stun you into silence, which has got to be a good thing." Agreed Zelda, cordially. "In fact, I still don't know what shocked you so much anyway. I knew I had conjured some wings, or something, but is that really so impressive?"

"Haven't you seen yourself?" He laughed. "Greats Gods, Zel – I actually felt like the bottom had dropped out of my stomach when you came out of the light."

"Er… what light was that?"

Link glazed down at his companion for a moment. She seemed to be genuinely confused. "You really don't know?"

"All I know is that I wished to help you in whatever way I could…and, no, that doesn't mean I secretly like you, idiot! Anyway, I wished I could become a fairy, and then the next moment, I felt wings on my back, you were all just staring at me, so I guessed my wish had come true and so I just acted the part I thought I should. I guess I didn't scream because that would have ruined the effect and I was kind of hoping for it to happen."

"Hmmm." Link rubbed his chin thoughtfully, as he pondered Zelda's words. Surely she was not oblivious to her own magic, was she? He remembered the first time they had met, she had zapped him, but she hadn't even realised she had done anything. Perhaps her style of magic was involuntary, like a twitch, and she didn't know when she had performed magic or not, she only saw the results. "How did you know you have wings?"

"Oh, I can feel them wafting a breeze on my neck." She replied. "That and the two Kokiri children and Tingle all recognised me as a fairy. You just recognised my earning potential."

"Yeah, that and the fact that you look absolutely gorgeous." Said Link, with a grin, which only grew wider when Zelda started to blush.

"Oi! No flirting with the fairy!" She managed to say, in a pitch-perfect impression of Tingle, although nothing she could do would calm the glowing in her cheeks.

"I _never _flirt!" Replied Link, outraged. "I was just stating a fact." He grinned at her and asked, "You really don't have any idea, do you? And I thought you were smart too! C'mere – look at this!" With these words, he led her to a nearby pool of water and made her look at her reflection.

For a moment Zelda gazed down at her changed reflection, a frown on her face. She remembered nothing of her transformation, only recalling that she had said some strange words in her mind, and until she had seen for herself, she had not noticed her changed appearance. Her powers of observation were not always the greatest in Hyrule. She blushed again as her eyes met Link's.

"See – you look absolutely beautiful." He said, softly.

"I suppose I do." She replied, in a manner worthy of Link himself. She felt that since her companion was actually behaving serenely, for once in his life, it behoved her to take on his mantle of craziness. "Shame I can't do anything about you." She added, as an afterthought.

"And what's wrong with me? Countless people have informed me that I am lamentably handsome."

"Really?" Zelda was all astonishment. "Wow, a lot of people in Hyrule must have really bad taste!"

"You must do too, _Princess _– I've seen the way you look at me."

"Would that be the resigned, confused, dazed or exasperated way I look at you?" She retorted.

"All of them, I think!" He laughed. Suddenly there was the sound of an ear-splitting scream. They exchanged a glance. "That sounded like Tingle." Remarked Link. "I wonder what's up now? Maybe the Kokiri are trying to murder him." A look of pure innocence passed over his face, "What an opportunity this is! Shall we run away whilst they are distracted?"

"For the last time, NO! You, Link, are going to learn Morals whether you like it or not. We are going to find out what is the matter and help these poor innocent people that are only in a mess because of _you_! Besides, you still owe me one rescue package, apparently worth thousands. Running away does not count."

"I think it does, but whatever you say, love." Said Link, he bowed mockingly and then helped her to her feet. "I suppose you want me to run dramatically to their rescue, don't you?"

"What kind of hero would you be, if you didn't?" She replied.

"A hero?" Repeated Link. Suddenly his eyes lit up with delight. "You know, I've always wanted to be a hero and have song composed about me, and statues made of me and…"

"Well off you go then, Mister Hero." She ordered as she pushed him forward. "And don't call me love again, or I will have to kill you."

**

* * *

**Tingle was not being murdered by the Kokiri, although they looked like they would like to commit such a heinous crime. The problem was apparently a gang of Deku Babas that had clogged up the narrow path leading to the Deku tree's meadow. Mido had wanted to beat them up to encourage them to shift. Saria had wanted to reason with them and ask them kindly to move along. They were so lost in the consultation about what should be done about them that they did not notice that Tingle, lost in his Wailing Fairy induced dream, had walked right into the middle of the group. 

Deku Babas were plant-like creatures, not particularly threatening, nor were they known for their intelligence. Few plants were. As long as you stayed out of reach of them, all they could do was snap menacingly at you, trying desperately to reach your feet, their long stem-like necks flat on the ground. They were only a menace if you got too close to them, for they were carnivorous. The sight of an edible child (type thing), in their midst had led to a flurry of angry snapping at each other as they fought over which of them had the most right to eat the tasty morsel before them. Tingle only noticed his slight faux pas when one of the plants snapped at his heel.

The scream that escaped him at this point could be heard right across Hyrule. On hearing that dreadful sound, people in the streets made the sign of the holy Triforce on their chests and cowered, dogs howled, and Ganondorf, who was busy watching the latest instalment "Great Bay – the Real Termina County" in Koume's crystal ball, was so annoyed by the interruption of his favourite show had to order his guards to pillage a few nearby villages to make himself feel better.

Tingle did what only Tingle could in the situation. "KOOOOOOOLLOOOOOO LIMPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" His spell wasn't quite cast completely, as one of the Deku Babas attempted to acquire his special, "Genuine Authentique Kokiri rip-off cap" (in spring forest green, made of genuine pretend deku leaf) mid spell. Tingle screamed again.

Link finally arrived just at the point when another of the opportunistic Deku Babas was nibbling Tingle's lucky shoe. He couldn't help a snort of laughter escaping his mouth when he saw that Tingle, despite being terrified, was trying to beat the evil plant off with one of his maps, all the while screeching "Bad! Naughty! Leave Tingle." One thing was in Tingle's favour though. He had somehow managed to stand in a spot just out of all five monster's reach. However, he was dancing around in a mad panic, and was highly likely to accidentally trip into one of the monsters' mouths.

"Tingle, Stay still!" Ordered Link, as he ran forward. He drew his old sword from its sheath. Tingle heard his voice, nodded and cowered into a ball, butt facing towards the sky.

"If you're going to fight…" Began Mido, drawing his own sword. Link ignored him. Instead he beckoned Zelda forward.

"What?" She asked, eying the Baba's nervously.

"Nothing, I just feel more courageous with you standing next to me." Link smiled he most innocent smile.

"Link, if you dare…" Began Zelda, before she was very rudely interrupted by Link, who suddenly swung his arm around her shoulder and planted a big kiss on her cheek.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" She squealed. There was a roaring flash of red light, some screams from the monsters and then silence. Link let her go and grinned at her.

"That was easy." He remarked, as he sheathed his sword. "Gotta love your powers, Zellie." She followed his gaze and was amazed to see that yet again Link had caused mayhem and destruction through her. The Deku Baba's were nowhere to be seen, but there were five patches of smouldering shrubbery and a few embers flying around. Apparently she had blasted them to smithereens with a giant fireball.

"That was incredible. Well done, Great Fairy." Said Saria, smiling at the Great Wailing Fairy. "Um…why do you look so confused?"

"Eh? Oh it's nothing." Stammered Zelda. She glanced at Link and wondered why she could only perform magic when he was around. She stared at the patches of ash, and noted that a sixth little patch was lying on the floor, cowering in a ball still. "Tingle?" The little figure did not move. She glared at Link, hoping that the little man had not been injured. She regretted this thought an instant after it crossed the threshold of her conscious thoughts. Tingle was just as bad as Link, she remembered. She shouldn't feel compassion for either of them. She felt it was a pity that she couldn't be more remorseless because she still felt sorry for him, even despite telling herself not to be. "Tingle?" She called again. There was no response.

She sighed and took a few steps forward. She knelt at Tingle's side. Now that she was nearer, she saw that he was still alive. His little cap was slightly singed, as was his lucky shoe, and all of his maps had been incinerated. She felt a little guilty, until she remembered that it was all Link's fault. That meant she could glare at him again. Which she did. Unfortunately, Link only grinned in response, as unrepentant as ever. She touched Tingle's shoulder softly and whispered his name, "It's alright now, Tingle." She spoke as a mother would to a child. She felt Tingle's body trembling with fear under her hand. Link earned another glare.

"Tingle?" She whispered again, as she shook him gently by the shoulder. There was no response, just another shudder. She sighed and wondered how much better her day was going to get. Or how much more she could take of the big pretence she had conjured for herself. "Tingle? This is your fairy speaking! Listen to me - the danger has passed! You are safe now, you can stand up again."

This won more of a response. She heard the distinct sound of "Eh-hehehe." Coming from Tingle's body.

"Tingle?" She repeated, a little sternly.

"Leeelleee." He sang, "So lucky to have a fairy." Came the distinct, slightly jarring sound of Tingle's voice. He rolled on to his back and then sat up. He gave Zelda an admiring glance, "Tingle's fairy is a mighty fairy. Tingle will never need to sell a crummy map ever again once he's sold the Wailing Fairy."

"Once you've _what_?" Gasped Zelda. Somehow that sounded awfully familiar. She glared at the one person who could have given Tingle that reprehensible idea. Link had apparently spotted something incredible in the clouds and was watching the sky intently, but his shoulders were shaking mysteriously.

"Um…Tingle, you cannot sell your fairy." Said Saria.

"Tingle bought his fairy so Tingle can sell it too." He retorted.

"How much?" Asked Mido, gazing in admiration at Zelda. His mind was pondering how easy it would be to obtain total world domination with such a powerful companion. Both Saria and his own fairy companion hit him at this point, so he relapsed back into his habitual sulky silence.

"Two thousand Million Hundred Rupees." Stated Tingle. It was the largest amount of money he could think of. He added in an undertone, "Ehhehehehe, that will set Tingle up for life."

"Um, do I get any say in this?" Began Zelda, ominously.

"Shhh, Fairy." Snapped Tingle. "Tingle is talking."

Mido quickly thought through all the resources he could possibly lay his hands on in the forest and wondered if it would amount to Two Thousand Million Hundred Rupees. If it didn't, one always found rupees lying around in the grass and up trees and stuff like that. He was sure he could steal, find and borrow enough to buy the wailing fairy for his very own.

"Mido, don't even think about it." Warned Saria, as she saw his thoughtful look. She rounded on Tingle, "And you – you should be ashamed of yourself, selling your companion like that."

"Tingle didn't like her anyway." Lied Tingle, sulkily. "She is too big."

"TOO BIG? Are you mad, all Great Fairies are big!" Retorted Mido, taking up the cudgels in Zelda's defence. "That's why they're called Great, you big nincompoop."

"She's not very pretty either." Complained Tingle.

Saria rolled her eyes and cast a look of acute embarrassment in Zelda's direction. The Hylian Fairy seemed to be stunned into silence again. She also looked furious. Having witnessed two demonstrations of the Wailing Fairy's awesome power, she was loath to see what would happen when the Fairy's annoyance got the better of her. She wondered what Link made of the whole situation. Glancing in his direction, she noticed that he looked amused but was in no hurry to rescue his companion.

"Hey! I said bring the visitors to me. You're taking your blooming time." Came a high-pitched voice from not too far away. This interrupted the argument between Tingle and Mido enough for Mido to share a shudder with Saria, before they both shouted in a slightly over-eager way, "Coming, Maku Tree!"

"We'll finish this later." Mido promised as he passed Tingle. Tingle pulled his tongue out in response but followed anyway. For a moment, Zelda remained where she was, staring after them in some indignation before turning to Link, ready to vent her spleen on him. Unfortunately, he saw this coming and before she could say anything, he took her hand and kissed it.

"Poor Zelda." He murmured, with such a look on his face that she couldn't prevent her heart from just melting. "Shall I rescue you yet?"

"I've been waiting for you to rescue me for the last half hour." She retorted, a little unsteadily. "But instead, all you can do is laugh at me."

"Well it was kinda funny." He explained. "But never mind, I will save you yet! I must say, who'd have thought Tingle would be worse than me for trying to exploit you? Makes me look like a paragon."

"Nothing would make you look like a paragon." She snapped. She smiled reluctantly at Link and said, "You know, I almost wish I was back at Ganondorf's castle at his mercy."

"No you don't." Link countered her glare with a disturbingly kind smile, which completely threw her off balance. "Nobody would wish that on themselves, even if the alternative is travelling with me and my pooch! Speaking of which, I wish I knew where Amber was."

"Amber? Oh right, your pet – the one we're supposed to be looking for." Said Zelda, with sudden enlightenment. "I thought you'd forgotten her. She doesn't seem to cross your mind unless I prompt you."

Link smiled a little at this but shook his head. "I've had her since she was a tiny pup. I am actually quite worried, you know. Once we've escaped from here, I promise I will look for her properly."

"And take me back to Impa?"

"Yes, if you want to go."

"Of course I do." She replied. She wished she could make herself believe that was really the case. Link did give her a long, considering look but refrained from making any further comment, instead directing his focus on the joyous prospect of meeting the Great Maku Tree.

If he had known what was in store for him there, he might not have grinned so cheerfully over those last few steps towards his doom…

**

* * *

**The Maku trees lived in a huge clearing, peaceful, sombre and silent. They grew one either side of the path. They were like great oak trees, with faces carved into the gnarled bark. Their evergreen leaves provided homes for fairies and small birds, and around their grey-brown trunks, long meadow grass grew and butterflies played. They were not as tall as the other ancient trees that guarded the perimeter of the clearing but their branches spread far wider. One tree appeared to be dozing in the midday sun, snoring quietly, a bubble of sap lurking at the corner of his mouth. Next to him was another tree, a little too wide-eyed and awake. She guarded the path with an air of hyperactive restlessness that was infectious. Behind them both, his eyes firmly closed, and mouth set into a thin line, slept the Great Deku Tree – father to all the Kokiri and protector of the Forest. 

On seeing these great trees for the first time, Link felt rather humbled. They were so huge and ancient and dignified that one felt quite puny and worthless in comparison. Even Tingle, who had decided to reopen his negations for the sale of one Wailing Fairy, fell silent as he gaped in awe at the trio of tree-gods before him.

The silence lasted for a good few moments. The only awake one of the three trees, Link noted, was hastily scanning the visitors. He presumed it was the female Maku tree, for the lines around her glossy eyes looked like long eyelashes and her small mouth was somehow more feminine (it was probably because she did not appear to have a beard, like the other two). Her eyes flickered across the two Kokiri, obviously she knew who they were and then rested on Tingle for a moment, before a look of revulsion passed through their chestnut depths. She completely ignored Zelda (despite the fact she was currently in the body of a great fairy) and settled on Link. And then the tree smiled, and two patches of colour darkened the bark where her cheeks would be.

"Oh my." Her branches made a little rustling sound as she spoke, and the spots of colour burned deeper. "Who are you?"

It took a moment for Link to realise that she was actually addressing him. He looked into her huge orange eyes and gulped. "Er, me? Um, I'm Link." The Maku's trees leaves rustled together even louder and she simpered. It was clear she understood Link's stammering introduction as proof of his instant attraction to her.

"Oh, Link." She simpered, "It is a pleasure to meet such a handsome young man as you. I don't see many in these parts."

"No?" Said Link, faintly. He wasn't entirely sure he liked the idea of dealing with a flirting tree. She smiled expectantly at him, clearly anticipating some kind of comparable response from him. "I…Um…didn't really expect to…um…meet…ah, you have nice…leaves?" He stammered, and desperately tried to ignore the sound of Zelda's familiar choke as the Maku tree squealed and said, "Oh, you flatterer!" She cast a longing look at him from under her strange orange-painted eyelids and simpered, "So, Link, what brings you to these parts? Did you perchance hear tales of the lonely Maku tree?"

"Well…no not really." He admitted. The Maku tree frowned at this, clearly this honesty was not to her taste. She cast a hate-filled glare at Zelda, wondering if the pretty fairy-type thing was in some way the key to Link's evident reluctance to admit his attraction to her, and turned back to the handsome Hylian. "Well, never mind, you have found the lonesome Maku Tree now! You are fortunate!"

"Um…yes. I suppose." Link too glanced at Zelda – only his look was a cry for help. Finally able to get her revenge, Zelda merely smiled back at him.

"Link is an expert arborist." Said Zelda sweetly. She grinned as she saw the Maku tree's eyes light up, and an even healthier glow appeared in her bark. She added, just for fun, "He absolutely loves trees."

"Oh my." Said the Maku tree. She sighed, "Oh, Mister Link. You are just perfect for me. I'm going to marry you."

"Er…are you?" Link was caught off guard. He gazed up at the Maku tree in some confusion, "Is that even possible?" He wondered aloud. Zelda coughed suspiciously but the Maku Tree laughed happily and began explaining how delightfully happy they would be. Clearly she was smitten at first sight. She did not even notice how Link slowly backed away from her. At least, she didn't until Zelda kindly pointed out that her future husband was trying to escape. This annoyed her. Unfortunately, as a tree, there was only so much she could do to actually stop him walking away. So she had to resort to her last feminine wile. She began to cry.

The noise was not just annoying. The noise was not just irritating. It was the stuff of nightmares. It was far worse than Tingle's earlier screaming. Far off in his darkened castle, Ganondorf was forced - literally forced - into slaying a few of his prisoners, because his second most favourite show (Zeroes) had been interrupted. People in the towns gave up on triangling themselves and just decided to stay indoors for the rest of the day, and the dogs in the street went berserk.

Link lasted for a whole minute, standing firm against the assault on his sensitive ears before giving in. "Fine, fine. I'll do anything. Just stop crying. Please!" He begged, covering his ears.

The noise stopped as suddenly as it had started. The Maku tree's bottom lip trembled and she showed him a sad face. "Y-You will marry me…?" She whispered, tremulously.

"I'll think about it." Said Link. The bottom lip gave way to an earthquake like shudder and Link cringed. "I mean, I probably will but you know…we've only just met and…"

"Of course he will marry you." Interrupted Zelda, with a particularly evil smirk on her face. This only widened when she saw Link's panic-stricken face. He shook his head at her. "He's just embarrassed about admitting that it was love at first sight for him too." She smiled warmly at the Maku tree, and added, thoughtfully, "All men are like that. They're no good at telling you how they really feel."

"I'll tell you exactly how I feel right now!" Link muttered in to her ear. She giggled in reply. She saw the suspicious look cast in her direction by the Maku Tree and addressed her again, lying merrily, "Link has just said that he really does love you, but he's too scared to admit it himself. Would you like to set the date?"

"Oh yes!" Breathed the Maku tree, oblivious to Zelda's giggles, the Kokiri's horrified looks, Link's terror and the fact that Tingle had gone off wandering towards the sleeping Deku tree. "Now would be good…only…" Her face fell ludicrously.

"Only what?" Asked Zelda, solicitously.

"Well, it's just the…Deku Tree."

"Oh?" The two Kokiri exchanged another glance at this whilst Zelda continued making polite conversation.

The Maku tree sighed again, "The Deku tree would have to preside over the wedding - he is the King of Trees after all…." She explained. She rolled her eyes in the direction of the giant sleeping tree and a sniff escaped her, "But he won't wake up. If he stays asleep I can't marry Link and he's…he's (sob) … been sleeping for such a long time…"

"He's sleeping because he doesn't want to deal with you." Stated Mido, rather rudely. The Maku tree was shocked at this. She was even more shocked when Link added, "I don't blame him."

"N-no." Protested the Maku tree, her eyes awash with liquid again, which cast all observers into a state of dread. "T-the Deku Tree w-was just t-tired…and he…and he…waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

Somehow all eyes turned to Link as if it was his fault the tree had started bawling again. He didn't notice because he had his head buried in his hands and was trying to stop his eardrums from exploding, as they were threatening to. Suddenly, there was a groaning sound, which arrested the sobs of the Maku tree. A stiff breeze passed through the whole clearing, tousling hair and rustling leaves. It sounded like a yawn.

"Verily, thou hast disturbed mine slumber." Came a voice, ancient and wise, and ever so slightly peeved. All eyes, including those of the female Maku Tree's (the other Maku tree was still happily asleep) turned towards the source of the disturbance. The Great Deku tree watched them all sternly, his mouth set into a frown and his eyes rather unfocussed, "Thou hast better had a mighty good cause for awakening one from mine slumber, and…" Suddenly he seemed to notice that the Maku tree's chestnut eyes were on him too. Another groan shook the earth. "Oh no."

"Hi, Great Deku Tree!" Called the Maku Tree, recovered to her usual peppy self. This was probably because she could now marry Link.

The Deku Tree stared at her in stony silence for a moment before turning to the two Kokiri who were standing before him. "Why hast thou not removed yonder…wooded being from mine presence?" He demanded.

"Well, she is kinda big…" Began Mido.

"And we are rather little…" Continued Saria. "Also, it's against our rules to harm any tree – be it nuisance or not. So we…"

"Couldn't, Great Deku Tree. Sorry." Finished Mido.

"Ah, I see." The Great Deku tree sighed and his branches rustled as if he were nodding. He shuddered slightly as he looked at the other trees but knew there was little he could do about the matter, for the time being anyway, so he turned his attention to his visitors. Unlike the Maku Tree, he carefully considered each of his guests and was polite enough not to be openly repulsed by Tingle. "And what doest we haveth here?" He mused, "A Hylian, a Catalian of Hylian ancestry and a…oh my."

Suddenly the Great Deku tree sprouted a patch of colour on each cheek as he took in the vision of the great wailing fairy.

"That is Tingle's great Wailing Fairy." Said Tingle. "Tingle will accept Two Thousand Million Hundred Rupees (or nearest offer) for her."

"Oh…" The Great Deku tree considered this, "Letest one consider…I have gold buried in mine…" He stopped himself and took another look at the fuming fairy. "Waiteth." He said. "That ist not a fairy."

"She is!" Argued Tingle.

Zelda rolled her eyes.

"Noeth. She is not a fairy. She ist a creature moreth important than a mere fairy."

"Really? Four Thousand Million Hundred Rupees then." Said Tingle.

The Deku Tree ignored this and gazed in some wonder at Zelda, who was looking increasingly like she was going to declare war on all Tingles, Trees and idiots who got her into these situations. It was the latter mentioned idiot that seemed to be getting the lion's share of her fury directed at him. Link thought this was a little unfair. "Nay, child. This child ist the **Princess of Destiny**."

"Princess?" Exclaimed about four voices at once.

"Er…sort of, yes." Said the Deku Tree.

"Five Thousand Million Billion Rupees." Stated Tingle. "No offers."

"She ist the key to the Chameleon Stone, and ist a mighty sage. Verily she ist worth mucheth more than mere rupees."

"How much more exactly?" Demanded Tingle.

"THAT DOES IT!" Suddenly yelled Zelda, at the end of her tether. There was a sudden silence in the forest. She stalked up to the Deku Tree and stood directly before him, glaring up at him, one hand on her hip. "You are the great protecting spirit of this forest, correct?"

Stunned by such a direct attack, his mouth dropped open, leaving a large awning in his mossy bark. He agreed that 'Verily one was the Great Deku tree, protector of the forest and all creatures who dwelt withineth...'

"Great." Zelda ruthlessly cut his long explanation about how great it was to be the forest protector(eth) short. "Well then, oh great protector of the Forest, I demand you grant me sanctuary, haven and respite from these idiots. I beg you."

The Great Deku tree was confused. He was unable to deny such a direct plea for safety from one who, although she was not a fairy, looked like one. And at the very least she was an important sage. His mouth was already wide open, from his earlier stupefaction so he just said (with his mouth open still) "errii ellll". Taking this as meaning "Very well, "Zelda smiled up at him and mouthed the word 'thanks' and then stepped into the dark awning in the bark.

Momentarily stunned, Link was only able to watch in horror as his hapless victim - his newest, most favourite friend, took another step and another, until she was swallowed up into the darkness and then…

**SNAP **went the Deku Tree's mouth.

"ZELDA!" Exclaimed Link.

"My FAIRY!" Screamed Tingle.

And at exactly the same time the two Kokiri shouted, "No, Great Deku Tree. Don't eat her!"

The Deku tree smiled peacefully and his eyes closed.

"ZELDA? ZELDA!" Shouted Link. But there was no reply.

**

* * *

**Oh dear, the Great Deku Tree seemed to have eaten Zelda - and she is a mighty sage. But you knew that already, I'll bet!! Please Review...verily it doth make mine heart rejoice. 


	14. Intermission

First off sorry for not updating quickly this time – I wouldn't mind but I wrote this chapter right after posting the last one. It needed some tweaking, however the upshot is that I aim to have the next chapter up by Thursday at the latest.

Secondly, and more importantly, thank you very much to **Super Goat Grl, Yuleen75, Booklover13, QuinKilo1055** and **la generala** for reviewing! Thanks to everyone reading too – I've had over 1800 hits and have 52 reviews. I am absolutely delighted! Please continue to read… and review, of course!

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Chapter Fourteen – Intermission

"There is something odd about her." Impa's voice was soft like the wind, as she spoke with Rauru. They had stopped for a late afternoon break. Kru was busy booking four rooms for the night at the inn, the Zelda wolf was safely tied to a tree and Tassia was nowhere to be found.

"I cannot deny that, but I…" Rauru sighed and showed Impa a rueful face, "I sometimes I wonder if I am too trusting or you are not trusting enough. Daphnes saw fit to employ her, and we should not question the reasoning of our leader."

"Our _dead_ leader." Impa reminded him, dryly. "Don't forget that Daphnes also suspected he had been double-crossed."

"Are you suggesting that she killed him?" Whispered Rauru, glancing around nervously, in case Tassia happened to be nearby.

"I am not suggesting anything." Soothed Impa. "I just don't think it is a good idea to trust this Gerudo completely."

"This Gerudo has a name, Impa." Said Rauru, a little sternly. "You would do well to remember that. Sometimes you are a little harsh."

"I know." Impa smiled ever so slightly at her companion, "But at least I am not an idiot, like Kru."

"Kru is one of our members – appointed in his own right to the position of Justice to the People of Hyrule. Just like you and I."

"He was also rich."

Rauru met Impa's cold gaze with a bland look, "I could say the same about you, my dear."

"I am not rich."

"No, but you did live with Daphnes for a long time after his wife died. That too could be construed as suspicious."

"Are you daring to suggest that I…"

"No." Rauru hastily interrupted, not wanting to face the wrath of an irate Sheikah. "Not at all, I am merely comparing your situations and seeking to remind you that both you and Kru could be said to have purchased your rank. There has never been any doubt in my mind that you both earned your status with proper merit."

"Good." Snapped Impa. "And for your information, I only lived with Daphnes to help him raise Zelda. Nothing ever happened between us. I did it in memory of her mother. Iona was one of my dearest friends."

Rauru had nothing to say to this, which was just as well because Impa did not have any inclination to discuss Zelda or her deceased mother. She did not like to be seen as weak in any way, and in her opinion, giving way to tears over a long-dead friend, would be an unforgivable sin. Impa sniffed once, and banished the unhappy memory away. "It is in the past so it doesn't matter." She snapped, her irritation masking the wound that was still hidden in her soul, "What does matter is the present. And I do not trust Tassia."

"Well I do." Rauru snapped. "She cannot do any harm, that's for sure."

Impa snorted at this and stomped off in the direction of the inn. Rauru watched her go and sighed. She was as impossible as ever, he thought. He really did not see the harm of introducing the beautiful Gerudo woman to Hyrule's future king, Agahnim. In fact, he thought it would do some good to show the Gerudo what Hylians really wanted in their Kings. Whilst she had expressed her preference to Ganondorf's reign, she had shown the Judges complete deference and had listened to their wisdom with unfailing solicitude. She would no doubt come to respect their chosen leader when she saw how wise and considered he was. With this cheery thought in mind, Rauru followed his companions. Only hazily did he wonder where Tassia had gone. 

Tassia was standing behind a nearby tree, listening to every word said about her. She was smiling, for now she knew Impa's weakness. Of all the judges, she was the tricky one to deal with. Daphnes had been easy - he had been blinded by anxiety for his granddaughter to realise the danger he was in. Kru was even easier. He was a shallow man, inflated by an over exaggerated sense of his own brilliance. He was susceptible to flattery. Rauru was wise, but was obsessed with the idea of being an approachable leader. He was easily swayed by perceived offence. And now she knew how to tackle Impa. Nabooru glanced at the drugged wolf currently chained to a tree and smiled again.

Impa would do anything to keep Zelda safe.

So now she knew how to deal with the three judges of Hyrule. Nabooru sighed as she watched two of her targets discussing what to do next. She hated all three of them with a passion for their role in _his _disgrace. They were the ones who had condemned _him _to a life of hardship and battle. It was their fault that he was not recognised as King, even years after Hyrule's conquest. They declared Ganondorf an impostor. They insisted that his battle had been unfairly won. They accused him of wrongdoing. They turned Hyrule against its rightful King. How could she forgive that?

For what they had done to her beloved leader, they deserved to suffer, just like he did. Just like she did because of him. Nabooru gritted her teeth and her fingers clenched involuntarily. Without his order she could not do what she wished – she could not skin them alive and cut out their blackened hearts – not yet anyway. Once they had served their purpose, then she would be given a free rein to do what she willed. Her King knew that she would exact revenge beautifully on his enemies. He also knew that she would do so only when the time was right.

Nabooru took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, forcing her tension away. She thought of her King, not with a sentimental smile on her mouth, but with a look of fierce pride in her eyes. He was the strongest man she had ever known – he was cunning and ruthless, decisive and powerful. Everything a Gerudo King should be. She renewed her vow in her mind. Even if he never did return her burning regard towards him, even if he never acknowledged her presence, even if he ordered her to degrade herself - To the death and forever beyond she would follow him.

Gerudo were loyal to the end. She was no exception.

* * *

King Agahnim (the First) frowned as he glared intently at the seven small pots before him. "Ack, why does everything always have to be in sevens?" He muttered as he tapped one of the scarlet-coloured pots before him with a long, bony finger. If it wasn't finding seven maidens to complete a ritual, it was finding seven stones to seal an evil away. Or if it wasn't sevens, it was threes – three sacred stones. Three temples. Three judges. Three Triforce pieces. Or eight. Eight was a lucky number too. If something broke it always broke in eight small bits. If a Triforce piece shattered, it was always into eight bits. Agahnim poked the little jar again and screamed in frustration. A small puff of smoke coughed from the lid of the pot but other than that there was no sign of life. Or more importantly, magic.

His glare only deepened. Things were never easy when he needed them to be. Here he was, on the brink of making the world's first love potion – guaranteed to work, and his stupid formula goes off and decides not to work after all. He prodded the offending pot again and sighed angrily. Really, he should have stuck to concocting those lovely sleeping potions he used to make.

His eyes squinted back down to the large print of the spell book before him. "Seven Octorok hearts, Three drops of Red Chu goo, Eight keese wings, a red potion, a blue potion, a yellow potion…mix evenly with the staff of stupidity and pour into seven ruby pots…" He glanced over at the pots and let out an exaggerated sigh. "I've done all that so what's wrong?" He read through the ingredients again and then said, "Octorok. Chu. Keese. Potions. Put in pot, yadayadaya…" He muttered to himself, checking off the ingredients on his extraordinarily long fingers. His nails were gnarled and yellow. "then add the essence of one small fairy…Ah-hah!" He exclaimed, "The fairy. Of course, how could I forget?" He used his powers to transport him over the vast few meter distance to his supplies cupboard and scrabbled around in it until he found a very dusty old glass bottle.

Even through the thick grime surrounding the bottle, a faint pinkish light could be seen illuminating the insides. He held the bottle up to his lifeless green orbs and smiled at the desperate creature trapped therein. "Wonderful, a healing fairy will be perfect. Now how to extract your essence…"

The fairy shouted something very rude and unprintable back at him. Unfortunately, as well as being short-sighted, Agahnim was slightly deaf and couldn't hear the desperate threats and curses heaped on his head by the luckless little creature. He could feel it bumping against the sides of the glass in an effort to escape and he shook the bottle briskly. The fairy squealed in fright and crouched into a corner, her little teeth chattering and her courage all but spent.

"Ah… of course, it is your heart I need – the part of you that forces to share your power with others against your will, healing them when their life is ebbing away, giving of yourself to save another. That is the love of the gods bestowed on their favourite Hylians. And that is the love that will be bestowed upon me by all the beautiful maidens from now onwards…ah devotion…" Agahnim sighed happily as he pictured the scene in his mind – thousands of beautiful Hylian women reclining at his table, sipping his special 'wine' and then falling hopelessly in love with him.

Of course, that was providing his latest potion worked. The last batch he made had been slightly unsuccessful. Sure, his servant girl had liked him at first, and then she had sort of turned into a goat. He hadn't used goat's cheese in this latest potion. He hoped that would iron out the problem. And, of course, experimenting with Fairies was highly illegal, immoral and was condemned by even that big fraud Ganondorf. If the judges found out they would throw him out, legitimate claim to the throne, or not.

He smirked to himself as he held the shining bottle up to his eyes again. The best part of being forced into hiding for fear of your life was that, (a) you got locked away into a castle, whose gates could only be opened with a combination of magical artefacts; (b) you got your own personal army of nameless, faceless, slightly inept guards as the security detail; (c) nobody really checked up on what you were doing; (d) the servants were more like slaves and one was quite within ones rights to turn them into hideous farm animals at the verilest hint of insubordination, and finally (e) nobody knew if you experimented on fairies.

He was quite irritated then when his lovely afternoon was so rudely interrupted by the sound of his stronghold being stormed.

His inept guards were as inept as ever. They failed to even warn him that there were intruders. Only one managed to dash to his doorway, panting heavily with the dire news that…"S…re…th…(huff huff)…the…j(huff)udges be (wheeze) here…"

The next moment, the guard was rudely shoved aside by a rather annoyed looking Impa. She was closely followed by Rauru, who was looking apologetic. Kru appeared a second later, looking as vague and distracted as ever and bringing up the rear was Tassia, leading a still-docile wolf.

"What are you doing with that fairy?" Demanded Impa, the second she walked in the room.

Agahnim glanced at the sparkly bottle in his hand, grinned sheepishly and quickly hid it behind his back. Impa was neither amused nor fooled by these antics. In a depressingly quick manoeuvre, she whisked the fairy from his hand, uncorked the bottle and let the creature fly away. It did, but not before yanking a handful of hair out of his long, dirty beard. He yelped.

"Shut up." Ordered Impa. Again, the power of her glare came in useful. Agahnim was reduced to a quivering wreck. 

"I hope I do not need to remind you of the rules concerning fairies, do I?" Asked Rauru, stepping in now that their wayward King was under their firm control.

"I was not planning on doing anything untoward towards the harmless little creature. Why I was…"

He faltered under the stony red glare from the female judge. "Agahnim, we have a problem." She announced suddenly.

"Is it Zelda?" He asked hopefully. He hoped it was for it had been his dream for a long time to have Daphnes' beautiful granddaughter under his firm control. He had it all planned out – hence the reason he made so many love potions. He had last seen the girl on her seventeenth birthday and had been smitten by her good looks and disdainful attitude. Of course, he knew that was all due to embarrassment – she was a shy, retiring girl and was cold to those she secretly liked. At least, that's what he told himself.

"How did you know?" Wondered Rauru, astounded recalling Agahnim to the real world.

"Er…" One glimpse at Impa told him that stating that he had been dreaming of rescuing Zelda for some time would be a bad move. "It was a fortuitous guess…" He stammered. Impa's glare only darkened but she said nothing.

He was amazed to find that Zelda had been turned into a wolf, and agreed that it was of utmost importance to restore her to her former self as soon as possible. He was inclined to follow Impa's line of thought when confronted with the doped wolf – there was no way that this powerful, dangerous creature was Zelda. He didn't say this aloud though. Firstly, the most stunningly gorgeous creature he had ever seen (even including Zelda) had insisted that the wolf was indeed Daphnes' granddaughter, and she had started to cry when Impa disagreed with her. This made Impa even more unpopular with her companions. Of course, only Impa saw the look of pure mischief on "Tassia's" face over the heads of the three solicitous males in the room comforting her. The second reason was more straightforward – if the wolf was Zelda, then he could keep her for a few days. There was plenty of time to test the new love potion on her.

So it was agreed that "Zelda" would stay in the castle with Agahnim until he found a cure. Impa would stay with them as a chaperone (Agahnim could not think of an excuse to say no to this idea). Rauru would stay as a companion for Impa. Kru would stay because he decided he would. And Tassia would stay because Agahnim invited her. She was another guinea pig for his medicines. All in all it wasn't a bad deal.

Providing the wolf did not do anything naughty. Like, for instance, escape and go on a rampage.

Unfortunately, in Agahnim's case, fate was always a cruel mistress… 

* * *

It was dark, moist and smelt of old socks inside the Deku Tree. Zelda could hear the muffled shouts of her companions behind her but she chose not to respond. She had been surprised when the Deku Tree's mouth slammed shut, but she had not been alarmed. Anything, even being trapped inside the trunk of an ancient tree, was better than being stuck in the open air being haggled over. She just wished she had taken the time to zap Tingle before she had made her escape.

Then she remembered she only seemed to be able to zap things with Link's "help". Of course, thinking about Link only made her more annoyed. By her reckoning, his rescue package was well overdue. He should have forced her to run away before the situation got out of hand, even if she had refused such an offer. So really, everything was his fault. This realisation made her feel a lot better. She almost wanted to go back into the outside world just to tell him so. She heard his voice calling her; he sounded a little panicked, so she felt even better. She decided that suffering a bit longer would do him a world of good.

That in mind, she decided to take a look around. She was surprised to see various torches protruding from the softened walls. She didn't think that trees and flames mixed very well. Clearly the Great Deku Tree was more of an idiot than she had initially suspected.

She was stood in a huge cavern, it's ceiling was so high up it was barely visible. Long, silken Skulltula webs dangled from the walls and across doorways. She shuddered at this sight. She had never really been a fan of arachnids. In the empty silence of the hall, she could hear them scratching around aimlessly. She shivered again. Some of the walls were covered in thick ivy and it seemed like a number of the Skulltulas had taken up residence there. She made a mental note to avoid the ivy at all costs. Ahead of her right in the centre of the room, there was a small pool of water. 

Zelda shook her head in wonder again. The Great Deku tree went from strength to strength. First fires to light the interior of his body, or whatever it was, then bugs to burrow into the walls of his skin and now water right in the centre of this cavern. She wondered if he had ever heard of wet-rot? She strolled over to the pool and knelt down, gazing into its depths. High above her, she could see a patch of light. The water was probably a rainwater puddle, she reasoned. If the Deku tree was stupid enough to let water get into his precious insides when he was made of wood, then he deserved everything that befell him.

She couldn't help but look at her reflection again. Guiltily, she relived the moment, when Link had said she was beautiful. The memory made her blush. It had not been the words themselves that made her cheek's suffuse with colour, but the manner of delivery. He had been so sincere and gentle when he spoke, it was almost like he was another person. Not the brash, confident and crazy Link she had been used to. Of course, being attracted to a clearly dangerous maniac was not part of her life plan, 'but still' she thought, as she critically scrutinised her dark blue eyes and golden hair, 'it was sweet of him to say it'. She smiled at her reflection and said aloud, "he is the biggest fool I've ever met."

She allowed her eyes to focus on the rotting wood she could see beyond the surface, and saw the tiny water-dwelling bugs swimming about in the pristine depths of the little pond. In the silence of this great awning, she felt she finally had a chance to reflect on the last few momentous weeks of her life. A ripple scuttled across the still surface, as a tear slipped from her eye, adding to the waters there. She remembered the terrible moment when she had been told of her Grandfather's fate. Reality had not had the time to set in, and when her adventures were over, she knew she would have time to grieve properly. Right now, her loss felt like a little numb spot in her heart that would only hurt if touched in some way.

Next she thought about Ganondorf. Her eyes focused back on her own reflection. She didn't believe he had captured her merely because of her looks (which she didn't rate very highly anyway). In fact, Ganondorf had told his guard that there was another reason for her capture. He had said it was something to do with the Chameleon Stone, and indeed the Great Deku Tree had said she was the key to it, or something. So that begat the question – what exactly was the Chameleon Stone? And what did it have to do with her?

She sighed and flicked the water in the still pond with a hand, distorting her image. These were questions to which she had no answer yet. It was frustrating, she sighed, to be given hints and riddles but no real clues as to what she was. She twisted the emerald ring on her finger, and attempted to pull it off again. It wouldn't budge. She made an exasperated noise and thrust her hand into the cold water of the pond, hoping that the cool water would make it easier to remove.

With both hands in the water she attempted to yank, cajole and wrestle the ring from off her finger. Although she could get it to spin, it would not move up or down. It was like it was clamped on to her. The water was freezing cold too. She couldn't keep her hands in any longer. With a gasp, she pulled her hands from the water and dried them on her skirt. The agitated water stilled.

"Ack, stupid Link. This is his fault too. I _am _going to kill him. And whilst I'm at it I'll fry that stupid Tingle too." She muttered, as she tried for the last time to get the ring to move. It wouldn't but it was worth a try. She glanced back at her reflection and gasped and jumped to her feet. 

"That can't be…" She gulped, her breathing was quickened and her heart pounded. She screwed up her courage again and took a glance down into the pool again. Sure enough, she saw what she had done before - a face, not her own, staring up at her. Fascinated but terrified, Zelda knelt down cautiously again and leaned over.

Gazing up silently out of the water was a face she had never seen before - a woman - beautiful and terrible, her skin was twilight blue and her hair midnight black. It swayed around her face lazily. Her eyes were as dark as her hair and were endlessly deep and calm, and her lips were full and stained cherry red. On her head was a crown of scarlet roses with twisted black stems and long golden thorns. She stared up at Zelda sombrely, no smile curving her lips or any recognition in her empty gaze.

Zelda sat back on her heels, not noticing that as she did, the face in the water disappeared. She wondered if it was some trick of her imagination. She was very tired and she had experienced quick a traumatic week. She leaned forward again. The face reappeared, silent and disturbing, staring right through Zelda but looking at her at the same time. It was eerie. The silence in the Great Deku tree was horrible. Not even the familiar (if unwelcome) scratching of the Skulltula's could break the quiet. Zelda slowly reached her hand forward, as if to touch the surface of the water. She wasn't quite sure why she wanted to, but she felt as though her hand was being dragged.

As it touched the cold water, she gasped. A tiny smile curved the corner of the woman's red mouth as Zelda's hand got closer and closer. And then suddenly, as Zelda's fingers dipped under the trembling surface, she felt a strong clasp around her wrist. Her scream was cut short as she was dragged into the dark pool.

* * *

Link heard the scream and renewed his attack on the Great Deku tree, much to Saria's umbrage.

"Please stop hurting the Deku tree." She begged. She earned a particularly sinister glare for her trouble. Still she had fared better than Mido and Tingle had so far. Tingle had got in the way of Link's boot when he had ambled past muttering something about his 'precious ticket to wealth' and had been sent sprawling as a result. Although Link had not apologised for this action, on Saria's insistence, he had admitted kicking Tingle had been an accident. Mido had tried to protect the Great Deku tree by drawing his sword and attempting to swipe it at Link. Unfortunately, Mido had not quite taken into account their height difference. Link was almost twice his height and standing at well over six feet had certain advantages when facing off against a three feet tall Kokiri. Link held off Mido by the simple expedient of leaning by leaning his hand against the Kokiri's forehead. Thus as much as Mido kicked, and swiped and struggled, Link remained completely out of his reach.

Mido had collapsed into an exhausted heap moments earlier. Link had renewed his attack on the Deku Tree. He was trying to hack it's mouth open. The Deku tree remained blissfully asleep.

Saria watched this massacre with tears in her eyes. Whilst she could understand his frustration, she could not approve of attacking the benevolent protector of the forest. She had to protect the Great Deku tree in some way. But how? Her eyes turned towards the Maku tree.

The tree was clearly aghast at witnessing Link's fury. All her dreams of gentle, beautiful love were being shattered. Link was not the man she had thought he was. He was something else. Unfortunately for Link, this something else appeared to the Maku Tree as a sudden enlightenment. He was fighting to protect one he loved. And whilst to the uninformed, it would seem that his loving emotions were directed towards the fairy girl, the truly _clever _people would recall that the fairy girl had just about to help him marry the Maku Tree. Two spots of bright colour lit the Maku tree's cheeks again. Perhaps, she reasoned, Link was frustrated because his speedy marriage to the love of his life had been interrupted.

The more she thought about it, the clearer it became. Link wanted the Deku Tree to wake up, not because Zelda had been trapped inside his mouth, but because only when the Deku Tree was awake could he marry the one he loved. A happy smile spread across her face.

"LINNNNNNNKKKK?" She called, sweetly.

Link ignored her.

"LINKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEE?" She called again. Since he didn't turn around again, she allowed herself a moment to admire his beautiful physical form. She liked the way she could see his muscles work as he repeatedly battered the Deku Tree. Of course, she didn't condone what he was doing, but it was a pleasant sight.

"LINKIPOO?" She tried again.

This did make him turn around. Beads of sweat glistened on his forehead, and his mop of golden-brown hair was damp around the edges. His blue eyes were positively glowing with frustration and anger and his mouth was set into a dangerously thin line. The Maku Tree was so stunned by this vision of furious male perfection that she didn't even mind that Saria had also gasped at the sight of him.

"Don't call me that." He growled, glaring at her.

The Maku tree giggled, his voice was so rich and threatening, it sent a shiver of joy from her deepest root to her highest twig. "Oh, Linkipoo, you are so handsome when you are mad." She giggled, stupidly.

Link's face took on an even deeper expression of fury and his fingers curled around the hilt of his sword even tighter. For a second, Saria wondered if he was going to attack the Maku tree. He seemed to be struggling with some inner rage that was threatening to surge forth. Tingle wandered into view at this point, took one look at Link, and wandered off surreptitiously.

The Maku tree was oblivious to the danger she was in. Instead of seeing his flashing eyes as a warning, she saw them as an avowal of his love. The fact that he was glaring at her meant that he was frustrated at his ruined plans for wedded bliss. She had it all worked out in her mind. Link was not angry with her, but angry at the circumstances that prevented their union. Perhaps she could help him. 

"Linkie?" She cooed, "Do you want the Deku Tree to wake up?"

Link was surprised by these words, and irritated. "Yes, you inept twig!" He snapped. He muttered something rude about stupid trees under his breath. Fortunately, the Maku Tree did not hear this. 

"Okay, love." She sang happily. She closed her eyes and began to sing. Link was forced to cover his ears again, so vile a noise was coming out of the tree's mouth. It made Tingle's ditties seem like masterpieces.

"WAaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkEEEeeeeeeeeEEEEee Upppppppppitytttttttttteeeeeeeeee upppppppp. Ooooooooooooohh GggggggggggggreEaAatt DeKKKKKKKKKKKKKKuuuuuu TreeeeeEEEEE." She trilled. A number of butterflies, fairies and small birds fell out of her branches as she attempted to his that last high note. Her attempt was impressively loud and completely off key. It did have its desired effect though. Not only did the Deku tree wake up, with a shocked look on his face, but her sibling, who had slept through wars, earthquakes, Tingle, Fire, Flood, Famine and his sister's crying, eyes shot open.

"Whateth was that dreadful din?" Exclaimed the Deku tree.

The other Maku tree, turned his accusing gaze towards his sister. "Have you been singing again?" He demanded. Link was amazed to find that this tree sounded almost normal. Plus he had to like the way the male Deku tree was glaring in contempt at his sibling.

"Y-yes." She stammered.

"I strictly forbade any more singing from you." Snapped her brother. "I hope you did not forget?"

"N-No…it's just…it's just…" Her eyes became glossier and glossier as she spoke and her bottom lip trembled. Link covered his ears again, just in case.

The male Maku Tree observed these signs of agitation with a sneer on his face. "Don't cry." He said, unkindly. That was it. No reason, no cajolery, no sympathy. Strangely enough, the stern words worked. The female tree sniffed but the threatened tears did not come.

"What happened to make you sing?" He asked.

"Link wanted to wake the Deku Tree up."

The Maku tree glanced around the clearing, establishing to himself which of the visitors was "Link". He knew the two Kokiri, and guessed that his sister would not help such an unattractive specimen as Tingle, with his big red nose and receding chin, so that meant the tall Hylian was Link. Judging by the fury visible on his face, the Maku tree knew his guess was the correct one.

"Why do you want to wake the Deku Tree?" He asked.

"My friend is trapped inside him." Snarled Link.

"Is this true, Great Deku Tree?" Asked the male Maku tree.

"Lamentably, the words of the Catalian of Hylian descent are trueth." Concurred the ancient tree. "Nevertheless, it was a necessary action on ones behalf. The great sage supplicated one for assistance and refuge. One could noteth refuse ones help."

"What do you mean 'great sage'?" Asked the Maku tree, confused.

His sister piped up, "He means that fairy that Tingle brought with him. The Deku tree said she was a great sage or princess or something. I wasn't really listening. She seemed pretty dull to me."

The Maku tree considered this. "Do you mean she is _the _Great Sage - key to the Chameleon stone?" he asked, rather ominously.

"That's what the Deku tree said." Agreed his sister.

"Ah. Then you have done something most foolish, Great Deku tree. You should never have let her enter into your inner sanctum without protection."

"What do you mean by that?" Link demanded, a dangerous edge to his voice.

The Maku tree was a little surprised by this question. "Did the Great Deku Tree not tell you who she was? Did you not know already?" Link answered this question with a couple of succinct words. "I see you care greatly for her," Said the Maku tree, smiling a little at Link's evident irritation. He ignored his sister's protestations that Link cared for her, and her alone. "How long have you known her?"

Link had to think about this. For a moment, he was going to say 'all my life', for that is what it felt like to him, but then he remembered he had known her for the grand total of four days.

"Four days? I see." The Maku tree was quiet for a moment, his eyes closed as he considered what to say next. "Link, tell me – has your friend behaved oddly recently?"

"Yes. All the time." He said, with a smile. "Although, usually it is my fault that she zaps people. And she did blame me when she turned into a fairy."

"She did what?" The Maku tree's eyes opened wide at this. "She transformed into a fairy?"

"Yes, right in front of us." Said Saria. "It was a bit weird."

"Was she wearing an emerald ring at the time?" The Kokiri didn't notice this, but Link knew the answer. He nodded slightly, his face a deathly white. The Maku tree's next words did not reassure him. "Then it is already too late…"

* * *

So what did you think? I promise in the next chapter you will (a) find out what the Chameleon Stone is, (b) leave the Deku Forest and Tingle forever, neither will be seen again. (c) Maybe I will add the essence of a Zelink moment...if I get enough reviews that is...


	15. The Stuff of Nightmares

First of all thank you to **Carriedreamer, SuperGoatGrl, Shrine Keeper of Rei Ayanami, Yuleen75, Quinkilo1055, Lee Totema, Booklover13, I.K.A.Valian and La Generala** for your reviews, suggestions and advice. I really do appreciate everyone putting in the effort and time to review and I hope you will continue to help me improve my work (and help me rein in my over-happy typing fingers when my imagination gets the better of me... :P)

Finally, I am sorry for not updating last Thursday as I had initially intended, although I did write this chapter two weeks ago, having read your reviews I decided to rework it a little, therefore I hope it makes better sense, is a little more amusing and the promised Zelink moment is not too OTT, or bolted on. Anyway, back to the story... and thanks again :)

* * *

Chapter Fifteen - The Stuff of Nightmares

Gasping for breath, shivering and soaked to the bone, Zelda scrambled to her feet and raised her hands to protect herself. There was an eerie darkness all around her, and the air was silent and airless. She noticed she was standing on soft ground. She also realised that she had returned to her normal, plain-clothed self. Slowly, as her eyes adjusted to the dark, she saw two shimmering orbs of shadowy gold floating some way in front of her.

"Hello?" She called into the darkness. The orbs neither moved nor blinked, they just remained fixed in her line of vision. Zelda shuddered and felt around her for any kind of exit. Her hands cut through the thick air, but she could feel nothing above, below or to the side of her. The floor was soft and a faint scent of rot drifted up from it. She reckoned she was deep in the heart of the ancient tree. The two orbs watched on silently. "Is…anyone there?"

Far across the room, there came the noise of soft laughter. "The answer to that should be obvious. I will not harm you. You do not need to stand so cold and afraid in the awning of my darkness. Come into the light so that I may see you for myself."

"Who are you?"

"I shall tell you when you come here." The voice was gentle, yet cruel. Sweet, yet bitter. It seemed to come from all around her head, but also from directly in front of her. It came from the two orbs. Cautiously she stepped forward. As she walked, the darkness thickened and the air got colder and damper. Shivering with cold, Zelda hugged her arms around herself; trying to capture whatever warmth she had left inside her. It was a futile attempt.

As she walked steadily forward, a soft blue light began glowing in the distance. The two orbs remained fixed steadily on her, glowing eerily in the darkness. The closer she got, the brighter they shone. The thick air blurred the edges of the orbs slightly and absorbed any sounds. Her footsteps were swallowed up in the enveloping darkness. Her breathing echoed in her ears like the soft thudding of her heart. Zelda swallowed again and took a deep breath, the air was at its darkest and thickest. It filled her lungs with a pungent smell of fear and damp, and it made her cough. She reached her hands forward and closed her eyes and took a step forward.

Suddenly the thick air thinned. She opened her eyes. It was still very dark, but the air was clean, cold and crisp. It no longer pressed down on her and pushed in on her but it did make her shiver. Her footsteps echoed off the tiled floor. Ahead of her, the two blue lanterns flickered coolly. Their flame serving as a light, not as a heat source, but Zelda did not pay any attention to them. She concentrated on the figure standing exactly between the two golden lamp-stands.

The woman was tall and slender, and clothed in elaborate crimson robes. She was even more beautiful in life than she had been as a reflection. Her dark hair curled around her body in long waves, and her body glistened as if lit by a thousand diamonds. She had an aura of great sadness. This emotion shimmered in her golden eyes as she gazed upon Zelda. Again, a soft smile tilted the corners of her reddened lips as Zelda bowed respectfully in greeting.

She inclined her head in response but made no attempt at making conversation. Zelda had the strangest feeling that the woman was searching through her very soul – tearing it apart to seek what she desired.

"Who are you?" Whispered Zelda, unable to take any more of the woman's intense scrutiny.

"Who I am is unimportant. What matters is why you are here." Replied the woman. Her voice was wild and deep and echoed with a bitter chill. She smiled thinly at Zelda, and said, "I wished to meet the one who awakened me from my slumber. I wished to speak to the one who has made The Oath. Who are you?"

"I-I am Zelda." She stammered. "But as to waking you… I don't know of what you speak."

"Did you not use my power in the forest? Are you not wearing my Oath Emerald?" The woman's eyes flashed again and the ends of her hair lifted slightly, as if stirred by a breeze.

"I don't understand." Complained Zelda, quietly. "You speak in riddles."

"Do I?" The woman smiled, a little oddly, and turned away. "Perhaps it is that you are ignorant of what you have done. I find that difficult to accept. After defeating Remeil you must have known what that signet ring really meant."

"Who is Remeil?" Asked Zelda, confused. This earned her a long, thoughtful look from the beautiful woman. Her eyes glistened like stars at the edges and Zelda again had the strangest feeling that her memory was being searched. It was not a feeling she particularly enjoyed.

"Remeil - the Dream Snatcher cursed to live in the Forest and keeper of the Emerald Oath Ring, did he not speak of me?"

"I've never met anybody called Remeil, and I don't know what in the world you are talking about. Please may I go now?" Pleaded Zelda. She hugged her arms a little tighter around herself and clenched her teeth in an attempt to stop them chattering.

"No. You may not go. I am determined to seek the truth from you." Said the woman, angrily. "I wish to know where Aranda, Lukarn, Tolmei, Ulusta, Gorban and Xeial are."

"Who?"

"The Dream Snatchers." She replied, exasperated. "What have you done with them? Why am I awake but yet enchained? If you have defeated them…"

"Um, I've not defeated anybody and I've never heard of a Dream Snatcher." Said Zelda, slowly. She wondered if it was actually possible to attempt an escape and again cursed her luck for somehow always ending up running into life's lunatics. She mentally compared the creature before her to Link, and (alas) found some rather disturbing similarities. She shared his mental instability, but was the overall winner in the 'How crazy is this person?' stakes, with her freaky glowing eyes and hair-with-a-life-of-its-own.

"But how do you have the Emerald if you have not defeated Remeil?" Asked the woman. Zelda hastily explained the basic circumstances around the acquisition of the signet ring currently stuck on her finger. The woman took this in, "This 'Tingle' creature – is he a great warrior? Could he have fought and defeated Remeil?" She asked.

Zelda snorted, and shook her head.

The woman rubbed her chin thoughtfully and gazed at Zelda in wonderment. "Could providence really have guided you to me?" She whispered. "Did the Emerald really find you? Are you truly the Golden Light of Hyrule?"

"Again with the riddles." Said Zelda, dryly. "As much as I love a good conundrum, and I do, I would really prefer to leave now. I need to find some dry clothes and all, so if it's alright, I'll be off now."

The woman's eyes flashed with anger, and turned black. "Oh no, you are not leaving until I find what I seek. If you have not met Remeil, then I do not know why you have the first key. The first key is the ring that you are wearing. It was dormant until you used my power. That has woken me from my imposed slumber. You used that power when you made over your body into something it is not. You put on a superficial layer of skin to fool the world. That is the first of my powers."

"What?"

"You transformed into a…let me see…ah yes, a great fairy. You wished to the Emerald to do this and I heard your dream and granted it. In return for this favour, you are now bound to answer my plea. You must rescue me from this prison."

"But I…" Began Zelda, and then she sighed "…I don't understand…"

"You took Remiel's Signet ring from his hand, whether literally or figuratively. You did so when you used my power to change yourself. You have taken from me and have woken me from my slumber. That means that you are the great sage who was to come – the Golden Light, the one who has the strength to use my magic, and release me from my bonds. By using that you have made an pact with the gods to unbind my heart – to undo what the Dream Snatchers did to me."

"I haven't made any pact and I am not going to make a pact." Retorted Zelda. She gave the woman a defiant look.

"You used my powers." She repeated. "Whether or not you wished to make an pact with me, you have done so. There is no denying that." She smiled softly and looked at her fingers, "For too long have I slept in this darkness. I long to see the light of the world again. I long to roam through the wilderness and dance through the skies. You are destined to be my Golden Light. Without me you are a cursed creature. With me, you will be a goddess."

"I don't want to be a goddess."

"Do you want to be cursed?"

"Of course not."

"Well then you must do exactly as I tell you. At this moment, you are cursed. You are like me, bound to the will of the Dream Snatchers. Only by defeating them can you free my stone heart, and only when that is accomplished will your curse be lifted"

Zelda sighed and shivered. It would be nice, she thought ruefully, if just once somebody could talk to her in words that made sense. The creature was clearly as mad as Link and spoke with as much sense as Tingle. How she had managed to become involved with any of them was beyond her. The woman was watching her casually, a slight smile on her mouth. "Who are you?" Asked Zelda.

The woman smiled, a little cruelly, "You may call me Saeru, although that is not my true name. I am told I am a blight and a nuisance. My heart is a treacherous thing, but what heart is not? I am no more wicked than he who did this to me. He was the one that stole my heart and locked me away." She paused and sighed, "My people have long forgotten me and my deeds. I was once revered as a goddess. I had the power to control and create dreams, and at my strongest, I could make them reality. I could become anything imaginable; I could adapt myself, and my surroundings, to suit the needs and wants of others. The one of cursed me - Lefestra - tricked me into helping him fight the Hylians, but in reality he wanted my power for himself. He stole away my heart and eventually confined me to this prison."

"Why, if you were a goddess, did you let yourself be deceived?" Queried Zelda. "Wouldn't you have seen what he was trying to do to you?"

Saeru's mouth curved into a rueful smile and she sighed again. "Lefestra was just one of _those _men." She said, softly. "I did not know what he was really up to until it was too late, so all I could do was protect myself as best I could and limit the damage he did. I could not save my heart, for he had stolen it long ago, but I vowed to have my revenge. I cursed my heart he had stolen and sheilded it with a barrier of magic. I gave each of his Hylian enemies a key to this lock, and they each made an oath to me to never surrender to Lefestra, for he knew that if all seven rings were reunited, the seal on my heart would be broken and he could use my power once more. In return, I would grant each one of them a portion of my magic – a different ability, if you like."

She smiled again, a little cruelly. "I knew that they were all plotting against me with Lefestra, and so I tricked them. They did not know my power was cursed until it was too late. When they tried to side with Lefestra, my magic twisted and contorted their bodies into the demons they feared the most. They became known collectively as the Dream Snatchers, for they were creatures of nightmares. They fled into the shadows of Hyrule."

"For this, Lefestra banished me into this hateful darkness, and forced me into a deep sleep so I could no longer interfere with his plans. I promised him that one day there would be a sage born stronger than him, and into her I would pour my strength. She would destroy him and the Dream Snatchers and would set me free. Only she would be able to use the keys I made. That sage is you, Zelda. I give you my oath that should you help me, I will not only grant you all my power, but I will also make your dreams come true." With these words, Saeru knelt before Zelda and bowed her head. Unfortunately, that meant she did not see the look that crossed Zelda's face. It was something akin to amused incredulity.

"I hate to break it to you, for that was a lovely story, but I have never heard of Lefestra, or the Dream Snatchers, or you, and I know all Hyrule's history." Said Zelda, gently.

"Yes, I know." Laughed Saeru, as she stood. "The only reason I am trapped here is because the final spell was cast on Hylian soil. Lefestra had to crawl home like the worm he was, with his useless trophy he fought so hard to gain, and mull over his loss. He never returned to Hyrule. I did not say that I am a Hylian Goddess or that Lefestra was a Hylian sage. ."

Somehow Zelda had a nasty feeling in the pit of her stomach when she heard those words, it reminded her forcibly of something she had heard only recently. Something about not being a Hylian…"Was he Catalian?" She asked.

Saeru only smiled in response, her eyes fluctuating between black and gold. "He was a King and a Sage, such men are only born to the wild winds of Catalia. His bloodline was ancient and his magic strong. But he used it all in cursing me. He could never return to face the Dream Snatchers but he knew, as I did, that one day I would be woken from my slumber. Somebody would confront the Dream Snatchers and defeat them. And I would find them and break free from my prison. My strength would once more be my own."

"Of course, he wanted to be sure that his bloodline would then be on hand when my barrier spell was broken, so he had my stone heart immortalised as a treasure for his heirs. Even after his passing, he still wants to control my power." She smiled at Zelda, "I know that the oath you made was not of your making but it was made all the same. You have used my power, just like the Dream Snatchers did, and you are bound to me. Will you help me?"

"Sure, why not?" Replied Zelda, airily. "I mean, what harm could freeing a vengeful forgotten goddess do?"

"Oh, I am not bad I promise! The alternative is that you will be turned into a demon, just like the Dream Snatchers were. You will become the thing you fear the most." Saeru smiled serenely at her. "You have no choice really."

"Do you mean I will become Tingle if I don't help you?" Asked Zelda, nervously.

"If that is the thing you fear most, then yes. I am sorry that you are cursed too but I promise to help you along the way." She smiled. "The Dream Snatchers were scattered into the deepest, darkest places in Hyrule…"

"They would be." Muttered Zelda.

"Eh?" Saeru frowned a little and shrugged, "Anyway, if you can find and defeat them, you can take their signet rings and when you have all seven, you can unlock the lock that surrounds my heart, and I can have my power back."

"Just so I know…" Began Zelda, cautiously, "What exactly is your power…?"

"My power is many things to many people. It changes and conforms to whatever is needed. My heart turned to stone when it was stolen but my true strength still resonates in its depths. Whoever holds my heart has my full power, they can become anything they desire for I am a Chameleon."

"So your heart of stone would be more commonly known as…?"

"The Chameleon Stone." Replied Saeru, with a smirk. Her eyes glowed in the darkness. "Throughout the years, even as I slept, I still sensed the dreams and thoughts of those who would seek me. I know that there are still those who know of my legend. There are still those who seek me out, but there is only one who could awaken me. And now that you have woken me, child, there will be others who possess enough magic to piece together the seven rings and break the lock on the Chameleon Stone. If you do not do it, then somebody else will and I will be forced to grant their dreams instead."

"Great." Said Zelda. "I really don't have a choice then." Saeru smiled. Zelda sighed. "I suppose I cannot let your power fall into the wrong hands, can I?"

"Nope."

"And I can't just leave this be." Mused Zelda. "Why is it always me? I didn't even know I was a sage until a few days ago. I swear I am going to kill Link when I next see him. I know this is all his stupid Catalian fault!"

"Link? Who is Link?" Asked Saeru, confused.

"An Idiot." She replied, with some heat. A smile curved her mouth. "He's definitely one of _those _men!"

"And he is Catalian?" She wondered. "Now that is interesting. I wonder if Lefestra…no..." She pressed her lips together and gazed at Zelda, "You would be well rid of him!"

"I know."

"I could grant you the power to…"

"Peace." Said Zelda, laughing. "I do not really intend to harm him. It would be like kicking a puppy. Although he is exasperating and annoying, he is also sweet and can be endearing when he wants to be."

"Is he handsome?" Asked Saeru, suspiciously.

"I suppose so, at least, he tells me he is lamentably so." Answered Zelda. "He's one of these lanky golden-haired, blue-eyed, crazy types."

"He sounds dangerous." Warned Saeru. "Do not be taken in by his wiles."

"I will not be taken in by any man. I hope I am wiser than that. Besides, he is insane." Said Zelda, trying her best to keep her voice light and amused. "That makes him ineligable."

Saeru gave her a long look, but did not make any further comment. After a moment, she continued with her lesson, "The Emerald is yours to use. It can impose a superficial change on you – your clothing and body may change, but your face and nature will remain the same. It is the first of my power and a mere scratch at the surface of what I can do. I believe Aranda fled to the fiery pits of Death Mountain. You may find he is still there. You should go there next…"

"But I…"

"I would also advise you not to dally." She smirked again. "I will see you again once when you obtain the next Signet Ring."

"WAIT!" Called Zelda, as Saeru began to vanish into the darkness. "How do I…leave?" But there was no answer. There was nothing there. No Saeru, no blue lanterns nothing. The darkness that had been banished by the gentle, cold glow of Saeru's lanterns began to crowd back in on Zelda. A feeling of cold began to spread through her veins. She shivered again. Saeru's conversation had distracted her from the fact she was still dripping wet. She gazed at her hands, her fingers felt numb with cold. She wondered if the Emerald had the power to transform her into a dry version of herself. Somehow, she didn't want to try using the magic if she could help it.

She sat on the floor and almost wished that Link were there so that she could conjure up a nice fireball-fire. Without his help, she seemed incapable of performing any tricks. She would ask Saeru about that the next time they met. That was, of course, if she ever saw her again. Which she was beginning to doubt.

She wrapped her arms around her legs and curled herself into a nice tight ball, hoping that somehow she would manage to regain some of her lost body temperature. Her teeth began chattering, and her hair felt like icicles on her back. She closed her eyes.

She awoke a little later to the feeling of having something warm wrapped around her. She would have jumped in shock, but she appeared to be frozen. She didn't even flinch when she felt a warm hand slide around her shoulder and felt a large presence kneeling next to her. Instead, she decided to share her cold, damp, miserable-ness with this other being, and she returned the embrace with some force.

* * *

"Are you alright?" Came Link's familiar, and (almost) welcome voice.

"U-uh…huh…" She managed to chatter.

"Are you sure - you are hugging me, Princess!" He remarked, humorously. When she only clung on tighter to him, he knew something was terribly wrong. ""You're freezing." He remarked, "Why are you so wet? And is it really necessary to share this lovely freezy-cold embrace with me?"

"Y-y-yes." She shivered. "You deserve it…"

"Why?" Link had somehow managed to wrap his whole self around her, in an effort to get her warm again, and he pressed his cheek against hers. She shuddered more violently.

"Your fault…" She stammered through chattering teeth.

"My fault?" Repeated Link, outraged. "Really, I don't know what else I could have done for you! You are the one who ran off into the Great Deku tree's mouth. I had to endure a song from the Maku tree, a lecture from her brother about how stupid I was for letting you escape from my view, and then to top it off I have spent the last hour or so swanning about in this stupid smelly Deku tree, looking for keys, killing keese and skulltulas (which by the way goes against my principles – they would have been beautiful pets) and solving puzzles – which is never my forte. Then, if that wasn't enough, I actually had to work with Mido to kill this stupidly big Spidery thing that we found in the darkest basement. I didn't even have the chance to try to tame it. Mido said it wanted to eat me but I doubt that. It sounded like it was saying "Remeil, where Oath Ring?". Mido said it sounded more like "You're my meal, where's the Oat Thing?" Anyway, it was all to find you! And then, I had to break through this weird glass door to get to you, and I cut my shoulder and will no doubt be scarred for life at the spot where Mido accidentally shot me with that little slingshot of his. And what do I get in return? A Zelda frozen blue with cold, sopping wet, blaming me for her misfortunes."

She felt him grinning against her cheek and another involuntary shiver ran down her spine, "I suppose it's worth it though! At least now I won't have to have a bath when I get back to the Kokiri village. You've already doused me."

"I-I'm sorry…" She muttered.

She felt him move away and shivered again. "You're not crying are you?" He asked, suspiciously.

"N-No." She retorted. She realised he had only moved away to have a proper look at her. She met his eyes with a defiant look but he could hear her teeth chattering. He grinned at her and then said as felt himself starting to shiver. "Right, that's it – time to get you warm." He stood up and removed his shirt, tunic, boots and precious gauntlets and dropped them at her feet in a heap. "Put those on. I can't guarantee they're entirely clean 'cause I have just been fighting but they are warm and dry(ish)."

"But…"

"No buts. Just obey me." He ordered.

"Your clothes will get wet so how will that help?" She complained.

"Would you rather me suggest you take your own clothes off first then my clothes wouldn't get wet?" He asked, mischievously. He only grinned more as she gave him a very telling look and said, "I thought so. It isn't a bad idea though…" She met his eyes again and he grinned. "I won't look if you want to change clothes. Knights honour and all that."

She hugged her knees for a moment trying to drag her mind away from the pleasant thought of warm, dry(ish) clothes compared with her current cold, soaked ones. She won the battle for all of five seconds then finally admitted defeat. She made him turn away, quickly and silently stripped off her robe and dressed in Link's things. She hadn't realised until that point that he was so much bigger than her, but she was thankful for it, otherwise she would have been severely compromised. His tunic and shirt kept slipping from off her shoulder and boots kept falling off her feet, but at least she could keep the gauntlets on her hands.

"See – I behaved myself!" He said as he smirked, true to his word he hadn't actually spied on her. "Do you feel warmer?"

She nodded, trying not to be distracted by the fact that Link was now stood before her, naked from the waist up. She couldn't help but stare at him. She shivered again as he wrapped his long (slightly battered) cloak around her and rested his hands on her shoulders. "I'm glad you're okay." He whispered and then, to her great surprise, he gently kissed her forehead. He pulled back and smiled. "What, no lightning? No fire raining down on me? Where's my real Zelda gone?"

"I'm not your Zelda." She said, mutinously.

"Ah, there you are!" He laughed. "You know, if you're not going to play around casting fireballs at me, the next best way to get warm is to run! C'mon!"

She managed about five steps before dropping to her knees, a combination of stress, exhaustion and coldness taking over her. Link gazed at her for a puzzled moment, before helping her to her feet again. And then he did something she had not expected, he scooped her into his arms and carried her all the way out into the sunlight.

* * *

The Maku tree's reaction to the sight of her beloved, now partially clothed, Linkipoo strolling into the forest carrying a partially clothed Zelda (who not only had the audacity to have her arms wrapped around his neck, but was also leaning against him) was not happy. It was only to be expected. Her screeches were so loud that far across Hyrule, in the darkest deepest dungeon of Hyrule Castle where Ganondorf was watching the entire back catalogue of his favourite sitcom "Enemies", every piece of glass – including Kotate's crystal vision-ball – shattered into a fine dust. On seeing that, not only had his favourite show been interrupted but also his only means of watching the said show had been destroyed too, Ganondorf's mind went 'snap' and he was found some time later lay on the floor, naked apart from a pair of yellow polka-dot boxer shorts, rocking from side to side, giggling maniacally. It took a _lot _of magic to restore him to his usually adorably evil self.

Zelda found the solution to the screaming tree problem was quite simple. Link's sensitive ears were so revolted against the noise that his body went into panic mode. Unfortunately, he dropped Zelda and, as she hit the hard ground, her powers returned. And with her powers, she accidentally set fire to the female Maku Tree.

When the commotion had died down, the severely singed tree had begged the Great Deku Tree to banish the pair of evil, heartless Hylians from the sacred forest eternally. Unfortunately, the Great Deku tree had been paralysed by that first evil screech (which had reminded him forcibly of the ungodly voices of an army of un-dead mummies) and he refused to even look at her. His eyes were screwed shut, his mouth locked open, his bark an unearthly grey and the leaves all shook from his body. Weeping, the tree then turned to her brother.

Unfortunately, the male Maku tree was so outraged by the dreadful noise his sister made, he had gone back to sleep in protest and refused to wake up. The Kokiri had fled and had shut themselves into their homes, hiding under their beds. That left her with Tingle.

On being promised entry into the forest for life and a real fairy, Tingle was swayed. Even the sight of Link's furious, slightly deranged look, could not put him off the proposed treat. He came at the pair of them armed with a balloon.

This was too much for Zelda to take. She had had a long day. She was tired, confused, cold, wet and hungry. To be attacked at such a moment by a little (freaky) lunatic, armed only with a map, an inane grin and a balloon tipped her over the edge. She suddenly found herself casting fireballs at Tingle, who had no chance of dodging them. The first fireball set the Maku tree alight again, the second set fire to the shrubs all around the clearing. The third hit Tingle right on the bottom, setting his clothes off into a merry little blaze. Screaming Tingle ran off in the direction of the village, jumping and howling all the way.

"You never cease to amaze me!" Murmured Link, as Zelda tried to recover her giggles. "Can you control the fireballs now?" Zelda shrugged, unable to answer that, she really didn't know how she'd created such powerful magic, but it had been fun all the same. Link smiled and looked back at the forest. "You know, I think we'd better leave." He added.

"Yeah." Agreed Zelda, as she followed his gaze. A faint orange glow could be seen from the Kokiri Village and there were some ominous noises, like crashes, and yells and screeches, and angry mobs being formed. Whilst she was sure she would be pardoned for setting the Maku tree on fire (twice), she was certain that unleashing a flaming Tingle on the unsuspecting Kokiri would be seen as an unforgivable sin. She didn't think that she and Link would be welcome back in the Kokiri village any time soon.

She took one last look at the Burnt Maku Tree (who had only succeeded in putting out the fire on her bark by crying profusely), the sleeping Maku Tree (who's eyes were still suspiciously, and tightly, closed) and the Great Deku Tree, who looked rather withered, and smiled. "Somehow I won't miss this place." She said.

Link followed her gaze and shuddered. "Nah, me neither."

* * *

So there ya go - I hope my explanation of what the Chameleon Stone is made sense?! I just wanted to do a quick overview of it, Saeru and various other characters will fill in the missing pieces of the story later. And please tell me if you think the Zelink moment was OTT, because I am not entirely convinced about it myself and I would appreciate the feedback. Thanks for reading XX


	16. Stones, Stones everywhere

Many thanks to **Super Goat Grl, La Generala, Yuleen75, QuinKilo1055, Guntou, Quick and I.K.A.Valian **for your reviews (sorry if I missed anyone)! You guys are the best things since sliced bread and stuffed crust pizza! (mmmm, pizza!) This story is getting crazier by the day, but it's so much fun to write. Yay for madness! Of course, I rely on you all to tell me if I'm going overboard!

Oh yes, and I also noticed I've consistently spelt Calatia and Agahnim wrong, so I've corrected that now. Yay for bad grammar and poor spelling too!

Anyway, on with the story…

* * *

Chapter Sixteen – Stones, Stones everywhere...

Nursing a severely nibbled arm, Rauru shook his head. "Is that beast muzzled?" The stress of the last few minutes had taken its toll on him. His last few strands of hair that had protected his scalp from the cruel light of the sun (the ones he had so fondly named Nayru, Din and Farore in honour of the Hylian Goddesses) had fallen out with the shock of the attack. His voice quivered with alarm and his breathing was quickened.

Nabooru tightened the rope around Amber's snout and nodded.

"The wolf is not Zelda then?" Asked Kru, rather stupidly, as Impa helped him bandage his ankle. She answered this question with a look that scared him more than being attacked by a raging beastie had. Agahnim watched the proceedings from the top of his "magical supplies" cupboard. He had retreated there as soon as it had become apparent that the animal that had been invited into his home was not what she appeared to be.

He could have told them that.

"Careful with that knot, Gerudo." Instructed Impa, watching Nabooru tightening the muzzle cruelly. "I will not permit you to hurt the animal."

"Why not, it hurt us?" Retorted Nabooru. She too had been scathed by Amber's frenzied attack. Her left hand had been the recipient of a particularly nasty bite.

"She hurt you because she was frightened. It was self-defence." Replied Impa, smoothly. "Perhaps if you had not seen fit to sedate the beast it would not have come around with such alarm."

"That's fine for you to say." Interrupted Rauru, as he gingerly checked his beautiful beard for any further hints of damage. It had been a frenzied few minutes, Amber had come around from her stupor to find herself trapped in a corner, surrounded by four strange humans (Impa had wisely decided to stay clear of the poor animal). She reacted wildly, biting and snapping at anything that was near enough. The results were not pretty. Both Rauru and Nabooru were nearest to the wolf, they both had bitten arms and hands. Rauru was convinced that the wolf had also attacked his precious beard, although without a mirror to hand, he could not be sure. Kru had foolishly turned his back on the animal, and the inevitable had happened. He stood at the other end of the room, watching her warily; he was unable to sit down.

Agahnim had fled but had ultimately managed to stop the attack by blasting the animal with a spell that immobilized her temporarily. Nabooru and Impa had then tackled her to the ground, and had muzzled her.

"I say we kill it." Came Kru's voice from across the room. He was still trembling with pain and fear.

"Nonsense." Snapped Impa.

"Pah. You didn't get bitten. You would say that."

"I didn't get bitten because I was not stupid enough to believe that this creature was Zelda, unlike you buffoons." She retorted. "It's your own fault. Now then, I believe the crux of your argument, Gerudo, was that Link had somehow imprisoned Zelda into the body of this animal. I believe we have established that such is not the case. Zelda would never behave in such an undignified and feral manner. Besides which, I know of no magic that could do such a thing to a person."

"What's your point?" Interrupted Nabooru, rudely.

"My point is that you are an idiot." Smiled Impa. She turned on her companions and added, "Fie on you two for believing such a ridiculous tale."

"And pox on all harpies!" Added Nabooru, glaring at Impa.

"Girls, stop this nonsense…" Started Rauru.

"Shut up." Before he was rudely interrupted.

Agahnim slipped from the top of his cupboard back to the floor and slinked over to his bookshelf. He watched the judges and Nabooru argue out of the corner of his eye whilst he flicked through the pages of one of his older spell books entitled "Transmogrification, Therianthropy and Lycanthrope – twenty all time classic spells. Amaze your friends, shock your enemies with these easy-to-learn, spells. Great for children's parties."

"Ah. This is what I seek. See – Transmogrification, or shape-shifting is possible!" He exclaimed, prodding the ancient, tattered pages with a long, bony finger. His voice interrupted the merry argument still raging between his four companions. He watched them for a moment with his lifeless, pale eyes and then continued in the same doleful tone, "It talks about it in my book."

"That's nice." Snapped Impa, "But we are a little busy here…"

"Impa!" Snapped Rauru. He smiled benignly on Agahnim, "Er, what does it say in your book."

Agahnim held the cover of the book up slightly, and like school children, all four of his companions read the (rather long) title out aloud. He stared at them and then nodded. Clearing his throat first, he began to read slowly, "The art of Transmogrification is an ancient and puzzling issue. Few sorcerers have ever mastered this difficult spell. It not only requires tremendous magical skill, but also a good deal of power. The only known instance of Transmogrify being actively used was recorded in year 129 of the Chronos Calendar of Calatia. There it is written that the Calatian Soldiers, led by the Sorcerer King Lefestra, were able change their shape into hideous monsters. The source of this incredible power was rumoured to be the Goddess lover of Lefestra, known only as Serenity or Saeru. However, despite this, the Calatian invasion of Hyrule was ill fated. The power suddenly dried up, Saeru vanished and Lefestra was forced to return to his homeland."

"Although it has never been proven, it is rumoured that the Goddess Saeru has not entirely departed from Lefestra. It is said that some of her power was locked away in Hyrule, in the hands of the Seven Lords who fought against Lefestra. This has never been proven. The Goddess Saeru is not a recognised deity in the history of Hyrule, and many believe the tale of Lefestra to be folklore. Nevertheless, it cannot be denied that the Royal Family of Calatia has strong magical abilities to this day. They also have in their possession an amulet named the 'Cascuda' – which is used in the historic appellation ceremonies of the King's Twelve Knights."

"I hardly think a lesson in Calatian Traditions is of any use to us, Agahnim." Interrupted Rauru, coldly. "I fail to see how this has any bearing on our little problem."

"Ah, but it does." Replied the wizard, eagerly. "The key is in these Appellation, or naming, ceremonies. It is said…now where was I…oh yes, the King selects Twelve Knights, gives them a unique name and brand mark (or tattoo) in the hope that one of them will be given the holy name. The one who is given the holy name, first bestowed on King Lefestra, will supposedly inherit his skill. The Knight would be tasked with searching for the Golden Light of Hyrule, and ultimately the key to the lock on the Goddess Saeru's heart. The heart is also called the Chameleon Stone, for it is the full representative of Saeru's abilities and whoever holds it, has access to all her powers." Agahnim smiled a little to himself, thinking of all that lovely power for a moment, before returning his eyes to the book. He finished the paragraph,

"The Chameleon Stone is the greatest, most useless treasure in the known world. It is both powerful and powerless. The Calatians guard and revere it though, in honour of their Sorcerer King. To date, it is recorded that none of the Kings Knights has been given the holy name. It stands to reason then, that the Chameleon Stone's power – Saeru's heart, is lost forever, just as the man who stole it, Lefestra. Nevertheless, the Calatians continue to search for the one known as "Free Sword" and the power of Transmogrification and…"

"Free Sword? I've heard that name before." Said Impa, rudely interrupting Agahnim again. He glared at her. She closed her eyes and cast her mind back a few days. She remembered a sleeve being rolled up, and a tattoo of an eagle in flight, carrying a sword. "Oh goddess, no." She exclaimed.

"What? What is it?"

"Link." She muttered.

"Link? Again?" Rauru stroked the remains of his beard thoughtfully and stared at the wolf.

"Link showed me his tattoo – the one confirming he was a Knight. It was the Free Sword tattoo. I didn't realise that it actually meant anything though." She said. Her arms folded instinctively across her breast and glared at Agahnim. "What does it mean?"

"I take it this is the same Link you suspect is with the real Zelda at the moment?" He asked. Impa nodded, for once unsure of herself. "It could be one of two things. It is either nothing, or it means that Zelda is the Golden Light – the Key to the Chameleon Stone. If that is the case then it throws considerable doubt of your warrior's motives. As a Calatian Knight, he is sure to discover her secret. It is what they were trained for."

"What will he do with her?" Asked Impa, careful to disguise any trace of emotion from her voice. Nabooru, who had throughout this interchange been remarkably quiet, cast a glance in her direction. She was not fooled. Impa was scared. The thought amused her.

"It depends." Replied Agahnim.

"Depends? Depends on what?"

"How loyal a knight he is for one thing." Agahnim scanned the pages of his book again and frowned a little. "It also depends on whether or not Zelda, as the Golden Light, has awoken the Goddess Saeru yet. If she has…" He faltered at this, deterred by the looks he was receiving from both Nabooru and Impa. Both were glaring at him. "What?"

"Agahnim," Began Impa, forebodingly, "Need I remind you that we are all Hylians here. Apart from the Gerudo-"

"-I have a name." Snapped Nabooru.

Impa smiled sweetly at her, "I know, _Gerudo_. As I was saying, none of us are Calatian, you might have to step back a few paces and tell us more about the Goddess Saeru and Zelda's involvement in this saga." She caught Rauru's eyes upon her and 'humphed' to herself, nevertheless she added, "please?" to the end of her statement.

"Ah." Agahnim realised his superior knowledge was yet again shining through and for the next hour or so gave them a comprehensive lesson in the joys and rather tedious history of Hyrule's neighbour, Calatia. As this covered such extensive subjects as how the first king won his throne, why the grass grew greener there, the strange customs surrounding wedlock, the training of their knights, and lastly the traditional oral tales of the Great Sorcerer King and his fight with the Goddess Saeru, all four of his listeners were comprehensively bored by the end of the tale. And confused. And slightly sleepy. Kru was the only one to actually yawn though; the other three were far too well mannered.

"So you see," Concluded Agahnim, the glory of having an attentive(ish) audience captivated for a whole hour adding some animation to his normally dull personality, "If Zelda has awoken Saeru, then she is cursed and if she does not manage to find all the signet rings, then she is doomed to turn into a monster."

"I see." Said Impa, coldly. Her strange red eyes glinted oddly, but only Nabooru suspected that she was actually rather dazed by this information. "And Link, if he knows this, will help her until the very end and then turn on her?"

"To get the power for himself." Agahnim agreed, "It is his duty as a Knight of Calatia. Once the seal on the Chameleon Stone is broken, he will take the stone and return it to his king."

Rauru's hand went automatically to his beard as he pondered this. It was so white and fluffy, and so soft to the touch, it reminded him of kittens and lambs and pretty, fluffy things and it comforted him. Plus, it made him look intelligent when he was thinking. He was thinking, sort of, so much information from such a dull source had shocked his brain into its slowest gear. "What if he doesn't?" He asked. Which earned him a glare from Impa. "I mean," He hastily added before Impa could sting him with a nasty comment, "For all we know, Link might have no intention of serving his king…"

"He hasn't got a king." Impa almost shouted, so irritated by Rauru's rambling speech that she was ready to burst. "Don't you remember, King Osira was slaughtered…he'll want to avenge that and restore his nation's pride. Any soldier would. And don't forget it was a Hylian led invasion – he…" She stopped at this point and her hands clenched into fists. "He is dangerous, I knew it from the moment I met him. If he's done anything to Zelda I'll…"

"Peace, Impa." Clucked Rauru, timidly stroking her arm in an attempt to calm her fury. His hand was whacked away swiftly but she did manage to half-smile in thanks as she stalked off. Nabooru watched her with an amused smile on her face.

"I have to find them." She almost shouted. "How? Agahnim, tell me how? I've got to go right away and…"

"Hmmmm," Sighed Agahnim. "Oh, Zelda. Yes, well I just so happen to have a spell that I use-I mean-made to track Zel-I mean-people."

"Why would you want a spell to track Zelda?" Asked Rauru, he watched Impa warily. He could see the distinct signs of Irate Sheikah warrior beginning to ignite in her eyes.

"Er…" Agahnim too saw the warning flashing in Impa's eyes and laughed nervously. "Did I say that?" Impa glowered at him and he backed away. "Er, well you see, there is this thing called a Seeing Stone…"

"Another stone?" Exclaimed Kru. "We are beleaguered by Stones today."

Agahnim have him a blank look and tottered over to his untidy, rather dusty desk, all the while muttering to himself. He began rummaging through his crammed drawers, tossing odds and ends on to the floor. Nabooru crept a little closer, her eyes fixed on the fascinating objects scattered all over the table. "Ah…here we are!" Agahnim finally announced, holding up a boring, dusty crystal ball above his head. He grinned inanely at it for a moment.

"What are you doing?" Asked Impa.

"My Seeing Stone. Ah, it is so beautiful…" He smiled again.

"How does it work?" Asked Nabooru, inching ever closer.

"Oh – you just place one hand here, and one hand here and say:

"**ENOTS LATSYRC FO GNIDOAL, ESAELP WOHS EM **and then the name of who you want to see." Agahnim smiled toothlessly at the beautiful Nabooru and added, with a good deal of pride, "It will show you anybody you want to see."

"Does it let you talk to them too?"

"Of course. It is almost as if you are there with them…" Impa remembered at this point the number of times in the past she had been convinced somebody was watching her, she could swear she had heard breathing but there had been nobody in sight. Suddenly it all became clear to her what it was. She cast her furious gaze back onto Agahnim. Fortunately, Nabooru spoke before she had chance to unleash her suspicions on him.

"Wow." She said. She gazed at the seeing stone in admiration then back at him. "You are an incredible magician. I can see why the Judges chose you as King of Hyrule."

"Why yes, of course you do!" Agahnim noted the way Nabooru smiled so infatuatedly at him and wondered if his newest love potion was so potent that just a whiff of it had made her fall for him. He smiled again. Nabooru inched closer, still staring at him. Her golden eyes narrowed slightly and her lips parted.

"You are so…" She murmured, sliding closer. Clearly she intended to kiss him. Wow, that potion was good! Agahnim closed his eyes and puckered his lips as Nabooru leaned over and…

**SWIPE.**

"What the…?" He exclaimed as he felt a weight mysteriously lift from his hands.

Nabooru grinned at the judges as she dashed towards the nearest exit. In one hand she held the Seeing Stone. "Thanks for this, I've had a really great day." She called. In her other hand she held a smoke bomb. "See ya, guys!" With that, she threw the bomb on the floor. Impa dashed a hand over her nose but it was too late. The air became instantly thick with acrid, choking smoke. Coughing violently, Impa dashed to the nearest window and forced it open. The three judges and their wizard king hung out of the window, gulping in lungfuls of fresh air, whilst the smoke behind them dispersed.

Far below them, skipping happily across the courtyard, they could see Nabooru. Her long, scarlet hair trailed behind her like a ribbon, and her elaborate gown danced in the breeze in her wake. As she reached the gates she turned and looked up at the window. Seeing the four faces crowed there, she grinned again and waved. Then she held the seeing stone above her head and threw it up like a ball. She caught it deftly and stowed it away in her bag, bowed low to the judges and blew them a kiss. The next moment she had vaulted over the gates and had vanished from sight.

"My stone. My precious stone." Mourned Agahnim.

"How did she do that?" Pondered Kru.

"Why did she do it?" Asked Rauru.

"Never mind that." Snapped Impa, still glaring at the spot where only a second before, the Gerudo woman had stood. "What I want to know is how on earth did she get down there so fast?"

Chuckling to herself, Nabooru ran towards the clearing where she had left her horse tied up. "What idiots!" She stroked the gleaming black neck of her stallion and smiled in memory of the judges' incredulous looks as she had whisked away the Seeing Stone from Agahnim's hand. "What did they expect from a thief?" She mused. The black horse tossed his head and stamped a hoof. She drew the Seeing Stone from her pack and studied it. "Well, I might as well try it." She murmured and rested it on the ground. She drew a mirror from her pack and checked her appearance, not that anyone would be able to see her, but still. After correcting a few rebellious hairs, and reapplying her lipstick she picked up the ball again. "Now then, Agahnim said to put one hand here, one hand there and then say…what was it…oh yeah, **ENOTS LATSYRC FO GNIDOAL, ESAELP WOHS EM **Ganondorf."

* * *

The surface of the crystal ball shimmered in all manner of weird colours for a moment, smoke polluting its clear depths, and shapes twisting and distorting in its centre. It started to heat up. Nabooru raised it to her eyes and squinted, it was difficult to make out anything. She was just starting to wonder if she'd cast the spell right when the blurry image came into focus.

"Oh…" She exclaimed. "M-my Lord, are you…are you alright?"

"Rubber Duckie swimmy here, Rubber duckie swimmy there…squeak and quack, quack and squeak, Swimming in my bath with…EEEK!" The little, yellow rubber duck flew from Ganondorf's hand as a mysterious voice assailed his ears and his happy little song ended on a shriek.

"Sire?"

"Nabooru, is that…is that you?" Snarled Ganondorf. Nabooru smiled as she watched him quickly tossing all evidence of rubber ducks, clockwork boats and flower petals from his bath. He grabbed a black towel and held it protectively over his naked self and glared into the darkness all around him.

"Yes Sir." She answered, only the faintest glimmer of amusement entered into her rich voice.

Ganondorf peered into the darkness. "You sound odd, Nabooru." He was trying very hard to regain his composure but was finding it a little difficult. It wasn't everyday your second in command, a woman you respected and (admittedly) found attractive, caught you naked in the bath playing with toys. "Where are you?"

"In the east of Hyrule, my Lord. I have just been visiting Agahnim."

"Agahnim? Why would you want to do that?"

"Er, you told me to, Sire. Something about Zelda?"

"Zelda? Zelda...? Who…is…oh, yes, yes of course! That Zelda." Nabooru saw Ganondorf run a hand through his orange hair and wondered if her King had managed to forget why he had sent her on such a perilous mission. Something told her he had. "Zelda, yes. Er, you went to see Agahnim about Zelda, does that mean you now know his secret hiding place?"

"Yes, and…uh, Sir, I can see your…ahem."

"Eeep." Yelped Ganondorf and moved the towel into a more strategic and modest place.

"Thanks." Said Nabooru, blushing. "Um, anyway, I stole his Seeing Stone. I thought I'd better report in and give you an update on my progress…"

Ganondorf listened with half an ear to the tale sprouting forth from the very air all around him. Although her voice was slightly echoic, he could almost see Nabooru in the very room with him. He wasn't entirely sure if it was a good or a bad thing. Good because he always enjoyed seeing Nabooru. Bad because there was no way in a million lifetimes he'd ever want her to see him like this. All in all, it was a miracle he managed to grasp the main thrust of her story, namely that the judges had to find Link, and that she had stolen their means of doing so.

"So…what shall I do now, sir?" She asked, as she finished her tale.

Ganondorf thought for a moment, or at least, half of him thought, the other was still a bundle of confusion. His eyes wandered down to the abandoned rubber duck on the floor and he frowned. As soon as he knew she was gone he vowed to rescue his precious babies. But if she had a seeing stone there was no guarantee she wouldn't watch him at random times. He made her repeat the attributes of the seeing stone and then had a thought. Perhaps this new seeing stone would replace the one so cruelly taken away from him by that accursed scream that emanated from the forest. He could watch Enemies, and Zeroes and Great Bay again. A smile flittered across his harsh features.

"Find Zelda and then bring me the Seeing Stone." He ordered.

"Of course, sire." Replied Nabooru, bowing respectfully, even though he couldn't see her. She smiled as she watched him again. Seeing him so vulnerable (and quite naked) shed a whole new light on her beloved leader. He glared into the darkness, clearly troubled by something. "Nabooru…?" He called, after an awkward pause. "You still there?"

"Yes Sir."

She saw the trace of a genuine smile pass across his face as he glared into the nothingness all around him. "Don't ever spy on me again."

"I won't." She promised.

He paused again, clearly agitated by something but at a loss as to how to express himself. "Nabooru…?"

"Yes, my lord?"

"Good job."

"Thanks." She said, blushing again. It was not much of a compliment but coming from Ganondorf, her king, it meant a lot.

"And don't be too long. I wish to talk to you." He added.

"I won't be, sir."

"And call me Ganondorf."

"Yes... Ganondorf." She said. "Goodbye."

He grunted in response and turned back to his precious task of rescuing his toys from the floor. As he couldn't quite reach them he had to hop out of the bath. There was no sound from Nabooru but he still had the feeling she was watching him. He called her name again, but there was no reply. Deciding he was getting paranoid, he collected his belongings and hopped back into his warm bath. "Rubber Duckie Swimmy here…" He sang.

Nabooru stifled a giggle as she watched. One little problem had confronted her as she had bid her leader a fond farewell. She bit her lip as she watched him race two duckies against each other, singing all the while. She rested the stone on the grass and smirked as Ganondorf jumped out of the bath again this time to grab a handful of pink petals to scatter on the water.

So what she was doing was wrong, and slightly perverted. She couldn't help it. There was a slight problem with the Seeing Stone and until she resolved it, she might as well enjoy watching the show presented to her. She bit her hand again and smirked.

She had no idea how to turn the Seeing Stone off.

**

* * *

**Oh, and happy April Fools Day for tomorrow! And if you're stuck here's a quick dictionary for you:

Transmogrify – To change into a different shape

Lycanthrope – To change into a wolf

Therianthropy – To change into any other animal

At least those are the definitions I found. Correct me if I'm wrong :s

Oh, and just so you know (if you've not already noticed) my lame spell is actually: _Stone Crystal of Loading, Please show me…_ spelt backwards. How unoriginal ;)


	17. Flutes and Frustrations

I'm so sorry I've not updated for nearly three weeks!! I hope you've not all lost interest in this story! First had an attack of writers block, then I didn't like the original chapter 17 (this is the fourth draft!) and finally I acquired Persona 3, which has slightly distracted my every spare moment. I will try to do better though.

Thanks to: **Yuleen75, BookLover13, QuinKilo1055, BrazeRancor, The Princess of the Universe, La Generala and ADD Kyuubi Naruto** for your reviews! What can I say - You guys all deserve cookies and cakes and if I could I would provide them for you. Anyway, I'll let you get back to the story now! Thanks for reading.

* * *

Chapter Seventeen – Flutes and Frustrations

Link was the first to wake up. There was a strange soft rumbling sound coming from the air all around him. His fingers slid towards his sword. He always kept it within grabbing distance, just in case. As he turned slightly, he bumped into Zelda. This arrested his attention. The rumbling sound, so unfamiliar to him, was easily explained. His princess was a snorer. He grinned and prodded her. This did not stop the offending noise in the slightest, in fact it seemed to get louder, and she snuggled up even closer to him. Apart from the snoring, Link didn't object to this exploitation of his body as a pillow, so he leaned back on his knapsack and closed his eyes.

They had travelled quite far, and apart from an argument over whether keese made acceptable pets, a moment of friction when Link had shot a Skulltula from Zelda's head without forewarning her, a momentary lapse of concentration on her part, which almost led to him falling to his death, and a row over whether or not he should have his cloak and boots back, they had got on pretty well.

Link thought so anyway. He discounted the fact that Zelda had called him many vile names, sworn to kill him on at least five separate occasions, zapped him twice and threatened him with his own sword and had slapped him six times. He had lived for a long time in a nation controlled by women, such brutal punishment was par for the course as far as he was concerned. The only thing that had upset him was when Zelda had held his holey-reedy-notey-makey-thing (that she had insultingly described as a flute) to ransom. Just because he wouldn't tell her how he planned on keeping them both warm at night when it was freezing cold, and they only had a blanket and cloak between them.

She had been furious to learn he proposed either running away with all the supplies, leaving her stranded, or failing that, sleeping together. It was not until he explained that sleeping together had no improper connotations whatsoever, and that they would be lying back to back, and it really was the best way of keeping warm, that she relented a little. The icing on the cake was when he wondered what Impa would make of their actions.

Surprisingly, this thought won Zelda over. In fact, it had made her positively enthusiastic, although she refused to disclose the reason why. And, after demonstrating that he really could play the reedy-thingy by composing a beautiful, lilting lullaby on the spot, much to her amazement, they had called their day's adventure officially over.

It had been a fun day, decided Link, as he allowed the sun to warm his brain (and wake the hamster that lived in there – thus allowing it to spring to life on it's little wheel again) but he did not want to have another day like it for at least a week. All that running around, fending of lecherous trees, appeasing Tingle, worrying about Zelda and finding stupid keys was quite monotonous. And as for Zelda's assumption that there was another six of those 'dungeons' (as she put it – he preferred the phrase 'doom pits') to explore and another six Hylian Lords-come-monsters to defeat, the very thought made him groan.

However, if going through six such similar ordeals meant that he could wake up next to a sleeping Zelda, who had somehow managed to wrap her arms around him during the night and was now sleeping with her head resting on his chest, he decided it would be worth it. Or it would be until she woke up, realised her fatal error and either electrocuted him or burned him alive. Link gazed down at her and stroked her hair gently. Even getting a painful zapping was worth this moment of contentment. It only needed Amber to make it complete.

His dog always doubled up as a pillow for him.

* * *

ZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAPPPPPPP

"What the heck?" If the giant thunderbolt that still rung in his ears had not woken Link from his slumber, the shout coming from Zelda's panicked lips would have.

"Sorry." He mumbled, still in that horribly sleepy state, when you know you should be more awake than you actually are. He waited for a moment for the pain to set in – knowing that at any second, his muscles would start tingling as an aftershock of being targeted (yet again) by Zelda's anti-Link magical arsenal.

"Who are you?" Came Zelda's voice again. Link was still waiting the moment of pain to hit him but he realised that his companion was clearly just as asleep as he was. She apparently didn't recognise him, which was unusual. As he opened one eye to peer at her he realised that she was clinging tightly to his arm and was trembling. This made his eyes open properly.

"What's up, Zel?" He asked.

She was not looking at him, but something up on a rock above them. He followed her gaze and tilted his head slightly. Against the backdrop of the rising sun, it was difficult to see exactly what was standing there but whatever it was, it was the strangest thing he had ever seen. Its body was huge, rotund and dark, it's lanky arms and stumpy legs painfully thin, its head oddly flattened and its eyes large and beady. Its mouth was wide and its white teeth shone brightly.

Link had never been afraid of anything. He wasn't going to start now. He cast his eyes of the creature with more amusement than alarm. "Who, or what are you?" He enquired. He rested his hand once more on the hilt of his sword and stared right into the creature's eyes.

"Oh don't wake up, Goro." Came a slow, very deep voice. "I didn't want to disturb you." The monster started to slowly descend from the rocky outcrop. As it moved into the shade, its body became more defined. It seemed to be made entirely of brown and fawn coloured rocks. Its movements were awkward and slow, it's legs were very short and fragile looking, yet were apparently more than capable of holding it's massive body upright. Its dark eyes were kind, and its wide mouth smiled pleasantly.

"I do believe it's a Gorgon." Whispered Zelda.

The 'Gorgon' turned its head in her direction, looking puzzled. It studied her for a moment before saying "I'm a Goron, Goro."

"A Gorrongorrow?" Repeated Link, confused. "I've never heard that before."

The creature sighed and spoke with even more slow, deliberate calm. "I. Am. A. Goron. I. Called. You. "Goro". It. Is. A. Formal. Idiom. We. Gorons. Use. When. Addressing. Strangers."

"Oh. Right. You're a Goron, Goro." Link sighed with relief as he had this point clarified. He spoiled this effect by then turning to Zelda and whispered (loudly), "What the heck's a Goron?"

"One of those, idiot."

The Goron creature rolled his beady eyes and stared at the pair of Hylians with some exasperation. He didn't really like dealing with 'Stupids' (the more informal idiom he liked to use when referring to Hylians). And these two were definitely strange, he decided, and one looked a little dim. He sighed again and explained (slowly and in simple words that even the 'Stupids' would understand) that the Gorons were reclusive rock people that lived in the mountains, ate stones and were famous for their mining, bombs and spring water. "Speaking of which…" Continued the Goron, in a more upbeat manner, "Would you like to buy any?"

"Any what?"

"Spring water." He smiled happily. "Or I have some arrows, bombs, maybe even a shield…or…"

"Do you have any clothes?" Interrupted Zelda. As much as she enjoyed the vision of Link semi-naked (as any self-respecting Hylian girl would), she was feeling increasingly guilty over her theft of his tunic, gauntlets and boots. She remembered that he had almost been blue with cold last night (and had still refused to accept anything but his cloak back from her).

The Goron stared at his own body in a puzzled manner and then smiled. "Gorons do not need clothes."

Zelda refrained from glancing at Link, she knew that he would be laughing, they had both noticed the Goron was embarrassingly naked, and said in an equally plain manner, "Yes, but Hylians do."

"Ah. Well, I do not sell clothes, Goro, but one of my brothers in our village may be able to help. He sometimes trades with the Stupids-uh I mean-Goros down there." He waved his large hand in the general vicinity of Hyrule far below them. "So…you don't want to buy some hot spring water?"

"Who in their right minds would buy hot spring water?" Asked Link, any offence this may have caused minimised by the apparently lost look in his innocent blue eyes.

"It is very beneficial!" Began the Goron, enthusiastically. "Oo…we Gorons love it so."

"Can I have a free sample?" Link asked, cutting the Goron off mid-sales pitch. The Goron answered that he could have a taste for ten rupees. Link considered this for a moment but declined the kind offer. He glanced back at Zelda. "Shall we get going, sweetheart?"

"Might as well." She agreed. Ignoring the Goron, they got on with the simple task of repacking all of Link's meagre worldly possessions back into his knapsack.

"Um…" Began the Goron, watching these signs with some misgiving.

"Yeah?"

"Er…" The Goron scratched his head, thinking of words to detain the Hylians with. "What are you travellers doing on Death Mountain anyway?" He asked at length.

"Well…" Began Link, casting a mischievous glance in his companion's direction, which was duly ignored. The gauntlet had been thrown down. The challenge accepted with a grin. Link stretched his fingers and smiled, "It's a long story but have you ever heard of the Chameleon Stone?"

"Er…no." Replied the Goron.

"The Goddess Saeru?"

"Er…ah…no."

"How about the Sorcerer King of Calatia?"

"Um…"

"His name was Lefestra, if that's any help."

"Oh." The Goron scratched his head again and frowned. "No." He admitted.

"How about a Cursed Hylian Lord named Aranda, who is said to have fled to the confines of Death Mountain to live out his days as a nightmarish creature, feared and alone. Forever guarding his secret and a key to Saeru's heart?"

"Can't say it rings a bell." Said the Goron, apologetically.

"Hmm." Link rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Okay, how about this final question, do you know if there is anywhere on this Mountain where one might find a Dream Snatcher?"

"I don't quite get your meaning…sorry…"

Link sighed and shook his head. "I'll rephrase that. Is there a mysterious, hidden cave, deep within the mountain, which your people avoid as it has a great evil secret lurking in its depths, known to be filled with cute, fluffy, bitey creatures?"

"Fluffy Bitey…eh?" Repeated the Goron, casting a look of entreaty at Zelda.

Zelda, who stood watching Link with one arm folded across her chest and scepticism writ all over her face, sighed and explained, "He means things like Keese, Like-Likes, Rats, and Skultula's."

"Oh." The Goron turned his attention back to Link and gave him an odd look. Link immediately countered with a 'What?' look.

"Oh right – caves." Stammered the Goron, recovering. "Well it so happens that in the deepest, darkest mine there is a door, locked with a golden key that nobody has opened in a thousand years. There is supposed to be a demon sealed beyond the door. Of course, the key is lost now but still…"

"That's all we need." Exclaimed Link. "I just knew there would be a hidden doom pit out here. Yay!"

"It's not a 'Yay' moment yet, Stinkypoo." Said Zelda, attempting to calm his glee. "But it does sound hopeful." She returned her attention back to the Goron. "How do we…?"

"Don't ask him, we'll do this ourselves! It's more fun that way." Stated Link. To the Goron he smiled and said, "Well, we don't need to trouble you any longer. We'll be on our way now. Out of interest, just where are those mines?"

"If you want to go and have a look at the Door and try to find the key all you need to do is ask the Elder."

"Really? Nah, that can't be so. It's far too easy." Complained Link. "Let's do it my way!"

"Oh hush, Link. Let's just see the Elder first, shall we? Even if it is that easy, you'll manage to complicate everything anyway." Said Zelda, as she stemmed the flow of words from his mouth by placing her hand firmly over it. "Let's just count our little blessings, eh?"

"It is easy to get in the cavern, Goro." The Goron assured them. "The Elder's bound to let you go have a look. In fact, he asked me to come find you."

"Now _this_ sounds more promising." Said Link, a beautiful smile adorning his face once more.

"Wrong word, Link. You mean 'disturbing' not promising."

Link pulled a face and thanked his companion for correcting him. "It sounds deliciously disturbing. Why does the Elder want to see us?"

"Well actually he just wants to see whichever of you was playing that flute music last night."

"_Flute_?" Link's smile vanished and Zelda was suddenly struck with the urge to giggle. "IT IS NOT A FLUTE!" Exclaimed Link, filled with righteous indignation. Zelda choked and he turned on her. "This is all your fault!"

"Oh get over yourself!" She laughed, "You know it's a flute."

"It is NOT. It's a blowy-reedy-notey-makey thing."

Sensing an argument was brewing, even though both combatants were laughing, the Goron hastily interrupted. "Er well, whatever it is, the Elder would like to meet you. Urgently." He added, a little nervously, "I couldn't figure out which of you was playing last night and my brothers didn't bring the light until you'd stopped so I…"

"Hang on." Interrupted Zelda, coldly. Link took one look at her face and took a step back. He recognised the steely eyed, tight lipped, clenched fist look instantly and knew it was time to get out of his Zelda's way. For once, her fury was not directed at him. She addressed the Goron. "Last night? Were you here?"

"Um…" The Goron's skinny legs shuffled from side to side, and he couldn't meet Zelda's flashing blue eyes.

"YOU PERVERT!" She screamed.

Even though he was far taller, bulkier and stronger than her, the Goron's fragile arms flew up to protect his face as Zelda flew forward. It could have been that he was genuinely scared of the diminutive Hylian, calling down murder on his head but it was more likely, decided Link – an appreciative audience to this spectacle – that the Goron was more worried about the way that Zelda's hands were lit by white flames and sparks of light were coming from the air all around her.

"EEEK…wait…" Stammered the Goron, as it curled itself up into a foetal position. "I wasn't alone…"

"WHAT?" Exclaimed Zelda, stopped in her tracks. "Explain yourself this instant."

The Goron didn't appear to want to come out of its protective ball any time soon, and whist Link didn't think Zelda could actually damage it, the Goron was clearly not so sure on this point. It was visibly shaking. "Couldn't…help…it. Goron women are…they don't have…"

"What?"

"They look just like us." Wailed the Goron. "You can't expect a lava-blooded males like us to just ignore a hot little…er…rock like you."

It was at this moment that Link ruined the whole atmosphere, that being the Goron's terror and Zelda's absolute fury, by bursting out laughing.

**

* * *

**It took Link five hours and all of the charm of which he was capable to calm Zelda. As usual, after being angry at the Gorons for daring to spy on her, she then realised that it was all Link's fault for making her sleep on the mountain in the first place. Just as had happened when she was trapped in the Great Deku Tree, as soon as she realised that it was all Link's fault, she felt instantly better. And then, as Link was standing right in front of her, ready to take the brunt of her annoyance, she felt even more gleeful.

After a good hour of berating him, threatening to kill him and zapping him when she deemed it necessary, she felt much better. Link did not. In fact, he was a _little_ annoyed with the Goron for running away as he did, leaving him to deal with the furious Zelda, even though she did apologise by kissing his cheek once she had calmed down (which he actually thought was quite a good bargain). And he still hadn't found out why the Goron Elder was interested in his reedy-thing song.

The Goron had left them at their campsite, whilst he rolled off rather quickly, giving them precise instructions on how to find the Goron City. He left with the words, "It wouldn't be good to add any more noise up there…"

So now it was day five, or six of travelling together, but both Link and Zelda were starting to lose count. Although she would not admit to anything so sweet, like Link she felt that she had known him for a lifetime. She was kind of glad she hadn't though. She had the feeling that knowing somebody like Link for any length of time would send her to an early grave. She never knew what he was going to do or say next and the experience had taught her to be constantly on the edge when around him.

As they walked side by side up the steep slope towards the entrance to the Goron City, a strange sound assailed their ears. It reminded Link of the Maku Tree and he shuddered. Zelda's hands covered her ears and she grimaced at Link. "Wonder what we're letting ourselves in for this time?" She asked.

"Sounds 'ominous'…is that the right word, Zellie?"

"Indeed." Zelda smiled at his pretend confusion and took his arm. "And 'cause you were so smart, you may pull me up the rest of the way." She ordered.

**

* * *

**The Goron City was built inside Death Mountain. It was a massive oval cavern in one of the many caves that ran through the peak. The Gorons had built it up from that base. Dotted around the exterior of the cavern were small caves. As most of these had doors over the mouths, Link assumed they were actually houses. It was built on three tiers, the walkways were narrow and full of pebbles, and the air was slightly humid. On the lowest floor there was a pond filled with bubbling water and a couple more caves. The doors across these had been painted with various colourful symbols, no doubt poignant to the Gorons, but to Link's eyes, they looked like paw prints.

As they made their cautious way down, the wailing noise grew louder to the point where it was starting to give Link a migraine. It was clearly affecting his companion in the same way, for she had gritted her teeth and her clasp on his arm was so tight it had started to cut off the blood circulation in his fingers. He would have smiled reassuringly at her, but the noise was so dreadful that he could barely keep himself upright as it was. He just wanted to curl into a ball, as so many of the Gorons he could see had already done, and wait for the torture to be over.

Their nameless companion from earlier had told them to go to the Elder's house – it was the one with the red painted door on the lowest tier. So that was where they went. When they arrived there, the noise was deafening. The Goron was stoutly waiting for them, though his hands were covering his earholes. He grimaced in relief as he saw them and avoided looking in Zelda's direction.

"You're here!" He remarked, a little pointlessly. He shepherded them into the larger of the two caves and slammed the door behind them.

The first thing Link noticed was that the noise went from unbearable to deafening. It bounced off the walls and right into his poor ears. It was so bad that he actually realised he would have preferred listening to the Maku Tree's protestations of love for all eternity rather than have his ears destroyed by the vile racket. His face was screwed up in pain, so he didn't really take too much note of the second fact about the cavern – it was very dark in there.

"HELLO?" He shouted. His voice was like a whisper in amongst that dreadful wailing.

Zelda, who all the while had been holding on to his arm as if her life depended on it, suddenly went white. She had a sudden thought – what if this was the second Dream Snatcher? Surely this noise was the stuff of nightmares? She gulped and tried to peer into the cave but it was too dark to see anything, she also tried to warn Link but he really couldn't hear her. She was yet to perfect the art of shouting.

Suddenly her arm was grabbed from behind.

Zelda might not have mastered the art of shouting, but she could scream with the best of them. Of course, her screaming prompted Link into action. In a flash, he had drawn his sword and had slammed it down onto the hand of whatever held her. Then came another scream – even higher pitched.

"OWWWWWWWWW!" In the darkness, two little sparks flickered and then came the light of a lantern. It lit up the face of their attacker. It was an ancient Goron. His face largely hid by his long white hair, which hung limply to his shoulders. His lips protruded almost as far as his sagging stomach, and his legs and arms were even more fragile looking than the last Goron they had met. He was rubbing the back of his hand, where Link's sword had hit, his huge bottom lip quivering slightly. He glared at the Hylians.

"Whippersnappers!" He said, shaking his walking stick in their direction. "Is this how you young 'uns respect your elders in Hyrule these days? Zapping them and attacking them without warning – it's a disgrace… And all I wanted was to demand your help…honestly I don't know what the world's coming to…what with these Goros and…"

The Elderly Goron stumbled away, muttering to himself. Link was amazed by how long his voice had been, even above that dreadful wailing, he had heard every word, almost as if he had been able to read it. He exchanged a glance with Zelda, and reluctantly followed. They were led to a small room at the back of the cave. The door was shut behind them as they crossed the threshold. Surprisingly, this did not worry the pair as much as it normally would. You see – the door was made of stone and the stone blocked out a good portion of the crying. Granting the Hylians (and their ears) merciful respite.

"I'm sorry about that…" Began Zelda.

"Pah. Young 'uns have no manners." Snorted the elderly Goron. He stared at them for long moment before sighing and rubbing his eyes. He was evidently very tired. "You two got any kids yet?"

"Eh?" Said Link.

"We are not…" Stammered Zelda.

The Goron looked from one to the other and snorted. "Pah, no morals either, I daresay. Hylians today…it sickens me, it does!"

"Er – what sickens you?" Asked Link.

"People like you!" Grumbled the Goron. "In my day when a Goron met a Goron female…"

"Providing he was sure it was female!" Whispered Link. Zelda choked.

"…It'd be an honour to make an honest Goron of her." Continue the Goron Elder, his eyes (or at least the bits of his eyes that were visible) misting up slightly. He suddenly rounded on Link – catching him mid-grin. "Don't you want to marry her?"

"I did, and we are." Said Link, quickly.

"Oh." The Elder seemed nonplussed by this response, and did not quite observe how Zelda had taken it. Link had and quickly nudged her to play along. He figured it was easier to lie now, and still the old-fogey's tongue, than to bear a monologue about the morals of today's youth. "Oh. Well anyway, you don't have children yet?"

"No, but we will soon." Replied Link, back to his normal cheery self. This was despite the fact that Zelda was clearly vowing to kill him again. At least she was quiet, he reasoned as he took her hand. She glared at him. The Goron elder smiled benevolently. This was young love as it was supposed to be, he thought. It was just a shame that the girl seemed to be in such a sour mood. He remembered years ago meeting a woman from Kakariko who also acted in that manner. What was her name again? Inki? Bah, he couldn't remember. It was too far in the past, and the noise that had kept him and his entire tribe awake for the past three days had driven him almost to the point of insanity.

"It is a shame you do not have children, but you may be able to help." Said the Elder. "You might have noticed this noise?"

"We could hardly miss it." Snapped Zelda.

"Yes, it is my Grandson, Darmati." Normally one would expect to see a look of love, of pride or a smile in the eyes of a devoted Grandfather when he spoke about his grandson. Unfortunately, the only look in the Elder's eyes at that moment was one of slightly manic desperation. "He's been awake for three whole days now and nothing we can do will sooth him."

"And where do we come in?"

"Well when we saw you yesterday, we thought – Ah a Hylian Couple! Surely they will have children."

"Surely you've had children yourself, if he's your Grandson!" Said Link.

"Well yes, but you see…" Link's mind tuned off as the Elder slowly explained every circumstance that had led to the current situation, purely because he wasn't actually interested in the plight of the Gorons. Link wanted to accomplish three things – first help Zelda on her mission to find Doom Pits, second, to meet up with (and hopefully irritate the hell out of) Impa and, finally, he had to find Amber. He had found her as a tiny pup five years ago and this was the time he had ever been separated from her for more than a few hours. The worry was starting to get to him.

"…and that is why I asked my Gorons to bring you here. So you can play that flute melody again and try to send him to sleep."

The word flute instantly recalled Link's wandering thoughts and he glared at the Elder. He was going to state the obvious, when Zelda cut in. "If we do this and manage to help the young one sleep, what will we get in return?" She asked.

"Er…you will not help us out of the goodness of your heart?" Asked the Goron.

"No." Zelda smiled sweetly at him and added, "Especially not after I was labelled as 'a hot little rock.' What will you give us?"

"Fine, fine. I will give you a bottle of hot spring water. AND you can keep the bottle."

"That's it?" Zelda asked, her eyes narrowing dangerously, "A bottle full of useless Spring Water – probably the same water you bathe in? What kind of lamey prize is that? And, what's more…" The wailing, which had been getting louder and louder, started to get more irritating. Zelda cut herself off mid sentence and closed her eyes. Link heard her muttering a curse to herself and wondered if she too was losing her mind.

'It would be nice if she was', he thought. They would be so happy together, living in Link's Loopy World, a happy place filled with little ol' mountains, and lakes and happy trees and friendly bushes. And keese and skulltulas and Chus and… 'oh dear goddess, I'm cracking up too!' moaned Link to himself. He sighed and picked up his reedy-noise maker and slipped from the room.

He had forgotten how loud the crying was; as he approached he noticed that there were many Goron casualties littering the floor – curled up in the foetal position, spindly arms wrapped around their heads. Some were rocking from side to side, muttering to themselves.

It was not difficult to find the source of the terrible voice. Given that the Goron baby was relatively small, Link found it disturbing that it could make _that_ much noise. It didn't even look up as he slid into the room. All around the bed his toys and spring water bottles and blankets were scattered. At the head of the bed, a solitary Goron stood, futilely trying to distract the young one's attention. Link closed his eyes and tried to block out the sound of the child's cries. It didn't work so he went to plan 'b' and tried to pretend he was a million miles away. He blew a couple of notes into the reed and then frowned. It was slightly off key. How dare the Reedy-Tune-Maker be out of tune at this precise moment! Link glared at the little flute (read: holey-ready-notey-makey-thing) and shook it. He blew it again, and it made a happy 'Phuu-ee' noise. That was far better. Link sighed and leaded his shoulders against the stone wall and held the flute to his lips again and then and then…

The melody was beautiful and calming. The notes trilled and danced through the air as lightly as a brook over stones. Link smiled as he played, his mind a million miles away. He did not notice the steady thud, thud…PLONK…noises as the Gorons literally started to drop to sleep one by one. Nor did he notice that the Goron child, Darmati, had ceased crying and was watching him with wide eyes, or that Zelda had slipped into to the room with the Goron Elder. The notes trilled higher and higher, like a skylark's song and then, as the melody came to a conclusion, it slowed and settled, becoming quieter and softer until it finished on a long, beautiful sigh.

Link opened his eyes and smiled slightly as he held the instrument to his eyes. He failed to see Zelda's amazement, for his attention was fixed on Darmati. "Go to sleep, little one." He murmured, almost like he was casting a spell.

The Goron child's big eyes remained fixed on his face. "You make nightmares go away..." whispered that child, and then his eyes closed and he slumped forward.

"Oh thank the Rocks!" Exclaimed the Goron Elder. Then he crashed to the floor. Link stayed motionless for a while; making sure the Gorons really all were asleep before stowing the flute away into his pocket and turning to Zelda.

"That was…beautiful." She admitted.

"What me stuffing things into my pants, or the song?" Returned Link.

"Don't be more stupid than you have to be, StinkiLink. The song you played was incredible. What did the kid mean though – you scare nightmares?"

"Dunno. Child speak – I never did get it! Anyway, shall we continue? Want to do a spot of thievery-I mean-shopping whilst these lovelies are asleep?" Link grinned at her, his eyes lit with nothing but sheer mischief. "Hey, we could even try these famous hot springs for free!"

"You really want to try them?"

"I think you're actually supposed to sit in them not drink 'em but still, I'd rather not." Answered Link. "You never know where those Gorons have been!"

"True. But I do think we should really continue, I don't really want to spend another day up here, entertaining rocks and I don't think our current attire is suitable for travelling through any more caves. If there is a Dungeon and attendant Dream Snatcher here, then we ought to prepare for the worst and get kitted out."

Link nodded and watched the Gorons thoughtfully. To him it didn't seem that they were going to wake up anytime soon. In fact, even when he nudged one of them with his bare foot, it just sighed and rolled onto its back, legs and arms splayed out at random. It reminded Link so much of Amber in one of her deep sleeps that he almost expected the Goron's legs to start making running motions at any second. "Did you find out anything about the Key?" He asked, as he padded around the room nudging all the Gorons onto their backs.

"Not really. I had got to the point of asking where it was last seen and then we heard your music and had to come listen to it." Answered Zelda, she watched Link's antics with a mixture of confusion and amusement. "I don't really want to steal from these people though. It goes against my morals."

"True." Said Link, standing back and admiring his handiwork. All the Gorons in the room were now splayed out on their backs, looking remarkably stupid, completely out for the count. "Last time I did that, the next time the shop keeper saw me he tried to kill me and everybody on the Island called me 'Thief' instead of 'Link'. It kinda got to me after a bit. I mean, I was broke at the time and I thought it was a bit mean of them. All I did was trick the shop keeper by running around him so he got dizzy then legging it out of the shop with his eight-hundred rupee bow, which incidentally I lost on the journey home."

"Well doesn't that teach you that crime doesn't pay? You know, I think the name kinda suits you, Thief." Smiled Zelda. "I'll bet you've done far worse things than that though."

Link smiled at this but did not make any comment. He never talked about himself if he could help it. Instead, he directed his companion's attention back to the matter at hand – namely equipping themselves for an adventure in the doom pit and how to pay for the said equipment. It was decided in the end to first see what (if anything) the Goron's had on sale that would fit, and then they would deal with finding the key to the hidden door. Hopefully, once they had done that, the Gorons would have woken up and they could pay for their goods in a perfectly legitimate manner and would be on their way, off on another adventure.

**

* * *

**"So, what kind of monster do you reckon Aranda is?" Pondered Zelda, sometime later as they examined the golden doorway that led to the hidden mine.

"Let's think – it's probably hot in there, full of lava and boulders and fire and stuff. It's gotta be something cliché." Replied Link, grinning at the thought.

"What would scare you though?"

"Nothing. Haven't I already told you that?" Laughed Link. He ran his hand over the ancient door and frowned. "If Aranda was a Goron I reckon he'd turn into a wailing child. That was pretty horrific."

"Yeah." Zelda shuddered at the memory. Her ears were still ringing even though two hours had passed since Darmati was sent to sleep. "Something cliché, huh? What about a Salamander?"

"A Salawhater? Oh, lizardy thing. Oh no, Saeru would make it bigger than that! It's gotta be a dragon." Link grinned happily. "Now that would be a fabulous pet!"

* * *

I hope I wasn't too mean on the Gorons, and this chapter wasn't too dull. I couldn't quite get the tone of it right, so I apologise. The next installment should be more fun! As always, I would be grateful for your reviews!


	18. The Burny Hot Mines of Doom

Thank you: **I.K.A.Valian, Guntou, Booklover13, La Generala and QuinKilo1055 **as always for your reviews, and spurring me onwards as always! Glad you all enjoyed the last chapter! As to whether Link will fight an incredibly cliché dragon or something a little more…fun…you shall see! I hope you're not disappointed. Anyway, I send you all (and everyone else reading this) a great big hug from Crazy Link or Crazier Zelda! Start running now…

* * *

Chapter Eighteen – The Burny Hot Mines of Doom

"We are never, ever, ever coming here again." Snapped Link, as he stomped back down the path. For once, all of his good humour had completely departed from his eyes. Following a few paces behind, Zelda couldn't help but agree. Their adventure in the Goron mines had not been quite as fun as they had been expecting.

It had started off well. Zelda, using her superior feminine searching skills, had managed to locate the hidden golden key (it was in the bottom drawer of a desk in an abandoned house in the Goron City) and they had also acquired some heatproof clothing. The fact that the heatproof clothing was cumbersome, about twenty years old, stinky and an unflattering shade of crimson did not dampen their spirits. They had also bought boots, the dreaded spring water, and various other bits and bobs that they thought would be useful when exploring an abandoned mine.

For the first hour, it had been fun. Zelda had never had the experience of 'dungeon crawling' - looking for keys, solving logical puzzles and battling woefully inept monsters seemed like fun (well Link battled them, she watched from the sidelines, shouting glaringly obvious things like 'strike it's unprotected back' or 'ew keese spit'). They even found an old map of the mine in a chest (which Link had first nearly fallen in and then, once he'd recovered his balance, held high above his head in triumph, looking remarkably stupid), and had navigated around the various chambers in the mine, looking for clues on where Aranda was lurking.

The problems had started after they decided to take a break. Sharing the bottle of un-refreshingly warm spring water between them, they had sat on a rock overlooking a deep chasm. Never before had relations between them been so harmonious. Link then took another look at the map and noticed a slight problem.

He had been ticking off the rooms, one-by-one as they travelled through the mines. Now as he looked at it, he realised that they had been in every single room bar two at the very north of the map. The fact that they were on the lowest tier of the mine, and they were currently on the highest was a minor irritation at that point. They had laughed over their foolishness for not checking out those rooms earlier when they had chance. And so they began their arduous journey back to the lower tiers.

It was only when they got to the lowest tier, to the place where the last two chambers were supposed to be that they realised that, not only was the entrance to the room about twenty feet above their heads, but it was also locked with a massive padlock and chains.

Being intrepid explorers, still full of zeal for the task at hand, they had returned to the entrance of the mine and had walked through each room again, checking for anything they might have missed. The huge key was found in a ridulously large chest (which Link actually fell into this time) hidden in an alcove which could only be reached through a combination of scaling a ten foot high wall, swinging across the room using a vine, landing with catlike precision on a stone about one foot square in diameter and then jumping from that point across a six foot gap into the alcove. Link did this with no comment although it was clear at this point that he was starting to get a little miffed. He also seemed to be irritated to find that all but the strongest of the monsters he had destroyed earlier had somehow undergone a miraculous resurrection. So he had to fight them all again (earning himself some more cuts and bruises) whilst Zelda watched from the sidelines, giving him her unsolicited advice. And when they got to the lowest section of the mine (again) and found that they were still at least twenty feet below the last door they hadn't been in, Link sort of flipped a little.

This was the reason he was now in a tantrum. Zelda had insisted that they run through the whole mine one more time, just to check they hadn't missed a turning.

She sighed as she jogged to keep up with Link, who was stalking ahead. They were back in that room where you had to shoot the eye-switch on the right wall, drag a heavy block to the middle, jump on the block, hop over the short gap to the narrow ledge at the back of the room, hit a second switch on the left wall, dash through the door and then stand on the fourth step along, shoot the golden crystal through the railings on the far side of the chasm, and pull the rusty lever that then appeared (all in under thirty seconds), in order to restart the elevator that led to the second level of the mine. The air was hot and dry, and the ground rumbled constantly. It was said that Death Mountain had earned its name from the last time it had erupted, killing many of the residents of the Goron City and Kakariko below. At least the fire proof clothing prevented their skin from burning, although Zelda was actively wondering if scorched skin would be preferable to being so drenched in sweat that she squeaked when she walked.

The worst part of it all was that, apart from a slight sheen of moisture on his forehead (which wasn't exactly unattractive), Link looked perfectly cool and neat. He even managed to make the hideous red Tunic, heavy black boots and unflatteringly tight pantaloons look good. She watched as Link shot the three switches, stood on the switch, jumped across the chasm, rolled under the door and pulled the lever to activate the lift and then cursed as a mysterious "deh-duh" noise smote the air.

"Oh !&#!" Yelled Link, as he hopped down from his precarious ledge and stomping back into the centre of the room. "I shot those bloody switches in the wrong order, didn't I?" Without waiting for an answer, he reloaded his bow and fired off a shot to the right, pushed the block, hopped over a gap, hit a switch, rolled under the door, shot a second arrow in the air and sprinted along the narrow wall to pull the lever seconds before it vanished again. He whooped in triumph, as a happy tinkling sound filled the air, immediately followed by the unmistakable sound of the rickety old lift chains moving again.

"You cheated." Said Zelda, as she strolled across the room, looking at the map. Link had shot the switches instead of hitting them with his sword. "But you did well."

"I should think so. It's the third time I've had to do that damned puzzle." Retorted Link, as he held the door to the lift open for her. Zelda refrained from looking closely at the rickety lift and the rusty chains that suspended it above the bottomless pit. Link didn't seem troubled by either the shockingly hazardous condition of the elevator, nor the fact that it had not been used (apart from by them) for hundreds of years. Knowing him as she did, Zelda realised that he probably got a kick out of being in this sort of danger. She didn't.

The lift jerked into life as Link pushed the control to the 'down' position and for the third time that day, they descended into the darkness of the second level of the mine. The journey was long. The tunnel dark and airless and Link was silent. Zelda glanced at him and saw his eyes were alight again. Well at least one of them was having fun, she thought. Suddenly the lift jerked to a halt.

"What…?" Began Zelda, hardly daring to glance over the sides. She didn't have to do so to realise that they were a good few hundred meters from their destination yet. "Link, why have we stopped?" She looked in his direction; expecting to see him pushing the control back to the 'down' position but was horrified to see that Link had pulled the control to 'stop' was leaning over the edge of the carriage, butt in the air, staring down into the darkness. She knew he was an idiot. She knew he was probably an escaped lunatic, but surely he was not t_hat_ mad was he?

"Cool! I think we can just about make it."

"Er, make what?" Zelda didn't trust the happy expression on his face, or the wide smile he flashed at her as he pulled himself back into the cart.

"The drop."

"The WHAT?"

"Hang on, Zellie!" He exclaimed and before she could stop him, he released the brake. There was a creak, and the lift swung slightly from side to side. He glanced at the control and his smile broadened and then he nudged the lever.

"HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLP" Zelda screamed as the lift plummeted into the darkness.

* * *

"I suggest you do as I say."

"But I…"

"I do not want to have to set my dog on you…"

"…fine…here. Take it, it's yours. Just don't tell anyone, okay."

Impa smiled and took the offending item and tossed it into the bottom of the well. "Don't let me ever catch you with one of those again."

The offender nodded, tears in his eye and ran from the scary lady's presence. Impa smiled as he went. Her job had become so much easier now she had an attendant "Dog". Amber cocked her ears and watched the miscreant youth run away. Impa did not approve of young boys playing with dangerous weapons like slingshots and she would be having words with his mother later. She heaved a sigh as she looked around her little village. It was nice to be home, she thought. And it was nice to see how everybody avoided her now she had a pet. She was beginning to see why Link had acquired the animal in the first place.

"Good girl." She murmured, as Amber turned her cold blue eyes on her. The dog wagged her tail slightly. "Now all we need is to find Link."

At the name 'Link' Amber looked up, completely attentive, her head cocked slightly.

"Link?" Repeated Impa, smiling slightly at the wolf's comical expression. The dog's head tilted to the other side at the word. "Where's Link?" Continued Impa, her voice rising in pitch just a little, and a goofy smile adorning her usually stern mouth. Amber whimpered, tail wagging slightly. "Go find him, go on!" Amber yelped and started sniffing the ground excitedly, trailing this way and that, her tail whole body waggling with the movement of her tail but all too soon the dog realised that she could not find a trace of her master anywhere. Everything about her seemed to droop. The tail went down, the head went down, the ears went down and she whined.

"So he's not been here, huh?" Mused Impa, correctly reading the signs of disappointed wolf. "How about that nasty Gerudo woman? Where's Tassia?" Asked Impa. Amber growled. Impa laughed. "You're a pretty smart dog." She pulled Amber's ears slightly and stroked her head. "Come on, let's get you something to eat. Oi, Mutoh?"

The mayor had seen Impa approach but due to the presence of the wolf had not been brave enough to venture out of doors yet. "Er…yes, Lady Impa?" His head appeared through a tiny gap in his curtains.

"You know, if I don't start to get the welcome I deserve I may just have to look for a replacement town mayor. We wouldn't want that, would we?" She called, amiably. "Get out here. Now."

Mutoh fingered the expensive gold chain that hung around his neck and thought of all the prestige and honour that came with the position of being Mayor of Kakariko. Sometimes being the most important man in the world (to himself at least) had its drawbacks. He still hadn't quite decided which of the two was scarier – Impa or the wolf. In the end, Impa won.

* * *

"That was so much fun!"

Through the fuzziness that shrouded her brain, Zelda heard Link's cheery voice and she groaned. She remembered falling…clanking chains, the rush of wind through her hair, her heart stopping as it jumped into her throat and then the sudden, horrible jerk as the mad fall was cut abruptly short. She felt a wave of nausea rushing through her body, and to her absolute mortification, she felt herself retching. And then, what was even worse, she started to cry. And not just weeping, but proper all out – gold medal styled bawling her eyes out. Telling herself she was being stupid, that it was ridiculous, that it was all Link's fault, even telling herself to shut up (in some rather crude, to the point, phrases) didn't stem the flow of tears. It wasn't until she realised that somebody (no prizes for guessing who) had wrapped her up into an all encompassing, kind embrace, was stroking her hair, whispering that she was alright and that she could cry all she wanted because he was there, ready and waiting for retribution, that she managed to wipe her eyes.

"Are you alright?" Whispered Link, as he gazed down at her smiling kindly.

She nodded, the bubble of white hot anger she had felt had completely deflated. Whilst she had wept, she had been thinking of wonderfully scathing things to say to him. Now she couldn't remember anything but how dare he put her in danger? How dare he even think of such a thing? How dare he kiss her? WHAT!!

Link pulled back from slowly and said, "There ya go, now you've got a reason to hit me again, sweetheart. Beat me off all you like, it'll make you feel better."

"Uh…it doesn't matter. Just don't do it again." Replied Zelda, lamely. Link was confused. He had never encountered her in such a mood before. He knew that she should be rightly furious, not only for endangering her life, but also for that audacious kiss (that he had thoroughly enjoyed) but she just stared blankly at him. So then he felt guilty. It was the kind of guilt that eats you up inside, and it was something he had never experienced before either. "Sorry." He muttered, but it didn't make him feel better. Zelda did not smile, or even frown. She just stared at him. And then Link realised something – something that wasn't fun, or wasn't happy, in fact it was just plain depressing (and he hated being depressed). Somehow she had become the only thing that mattered in the whole world to him. And when she was upset, it felt like the sun had disappeared.

"Um…I found a way to that locked door." Explained Link, as he stood up hastily.

Zelda shook herself out of her stupor and followed the direction he was pointing. Sure enough, the lift had stopped neatly in front of the locked door. Link had crashed it through the ceiling of the upper chambers. How the rickety lift had survived such an impact, and how Link had managed to stop its plummet without so much as straining his wrist, was beyond her but she had to admire his reckless ingenuity. There was one slight problem.

"Um, Link…?"

"Yes, Princess?"

"Didn't you leave the key for this door in the chamber upstairs?"

"Fu!&!" Said Link.

Zelda choked, the anger she felt vanishing, and Link's sun miraculously appeared in the sky once again.

* * *

The passage was long, steep and barely wide enough for them to fit through. Link gritted his teeth as his hand rested on another needle-sharp rock. As soon as he realised that they would have to feel their way through the passage, he had given Zelda his gauntlets. She had tried to argue the point with him, but he had remained adamant. He had been taught few principles and even fewer morals in his odd life, but one rule he always adhered to was: always treat a girl you liked as if she really was a princess. Her objections couldn't stand against sheer, blind obstinacy. So she had lost the fight and now the only sound was the soft padding of their feet and his companions breathing. It was oppressively hot, stuffy, and Link could feel rivulets of sweat running down his back, stinging any wound it came into contact with.

Zelda's fingers clutched his belt tightly. He knew she was nervous but she had sense enough not to let that show. He didn't really like dark places like this either, though he was not afraid. It reminded him too much of his youth… Link sighed and shook his head. There was no point in dwelling on the past. Had he not had the upbringing he had, he would not be the person he was now. Were he not a Calatian Knight he would not be in Hyrule. He would not now be on an adventure. He could always find a blessing in a curse.

The ground became rougher as they traipsed down the long, winding path. The rock at their feet gave way to rubble, and the slopes gave way to jagged steps and treacherous sheer drops, that were just waiting to catch them out. They crawled through another tiny passage. The light emitted from the battered old lantern he held was scanty, and it was running out of oil. He was tired and his whole body ached. He had not had so much exercise in one day for a long, long time. And he kept stubbing his toes on the rocks. Zelda was silent. The only hint of her presence was the grip of her hand on his belt and the occasional sigh escaping from her lips. Suddenly her grip tightened. "What was that?" She whispered.

"What?"

"I heard something." She explained. Link felt her leaning forward over his shoulder in an attempt to peer into the darkness in front of them. He had no reason to disbelieve her; he was only a little disappointed he had not heard whatever it was first. He prided himself on his hearing.

"What kind of something?" He asked.

"A kind of growling." Link glanced over his shoulder at her, and even in the pitch-darkness only illuminated by a dying lamp, she could see his eyes alight with sheer joy.

"I knew it." He said, his voice throbbing with excitement. "It's gotta be a dragon. Yes!" He punched the air in triumph.

Zelda rolled her eyes and ignored this. The ground rumbled again, and there was a strange hissing noise. "Do you think there could be a hot spring down there?" She wondered. A slightly acrid smelling trail of smoke floated past their heads.

"Maybe." Said Link, following the trail of smoke with an odd look in his eyes. It reminded Zelda of a child receiving a birthday gift it has longed for all year. They heard the strange hissing noise again and exchanged a glance.

"So Aranda's a fire-breathing dragon." Mused Zelda, standing back slightly as Link unhooked his bow from his back and checked the string was good. "How unoriginal."

"Oh well, we'll just shoot his eyes out then pierce his heart with a sword and the job's a good 'un." He replied, as airily as ever. The ground trembled and this time even he heard the screeching roar that filled the air. The shock wave flashed by their ears, making their clothes and hair flair behind them. Link peered into the darkness and smiled. "I think Aranda knows we're here."

The ground trembled in response and Zelda gripped Link's belt even tighter. She bit her lip as she stared into the darkness. She could feel all of Link's muscles in his back tensed up and hard against her hand, and tried not to think about what lay ahead. Link took a breath and closed his eyes, focusing himself and then stretched. "Ready?" He asked.

Zelda nodded. The ground shook violently and another hideous shriek rent the air and far in the distance, two red specks of light appeared. Link notched an arrow to his bow and aimed, waiting for the eyes to get closer. The dragon was moving at such great speed that it created a breeze ahead of it. Small sparks of light passed over Zelda's hands. Her magic was not very powerful yet, and it was quite unpredictable, but she was learning to control it. She just had to concentrate.

Another screech rent the air, making her ears ring painfully. It was immediately followed by the pshhhuuu of an arrow, as Link fired. It hadn't halted Aranda's progress. In fact, it only seemed to spur him on. Link fired another arrow. He was confident his aim was good, so why hadn't the beast faltered? The wind created by the dragon blasted into his face, bits of dust and pebbles had been caught up in the flow too and the air was stifling and hot. The feeble light from his lantern started to flicker and fade.

Link aimed another arrow and fired. The beast was so close he could see the three dark points in it's left eye – the arrows had hit – but had not made any difference to its attack. He could see its narrow, blunt nose and dark, wide body now. Suddenly he frowned. "You know, I think running might be a good idea." He shouted above the thundering of the animal's feet. Zelda glanced up, her concentration broken and stared in amazement at the creature galloping towards them.

"That's not a dragon!" She exclaimed. She yelped, and set of a lighting bolt as Link grabbed her hand and sprinted off in the opposite direction. Half-running, half-stumbling behind him, she could hardly keep her balance. Link practically flew over the uneven ground, barely sparing her a thought.

"I've got an idea." He explained, as he ducked under an over hanging rock. A bolt of fire tickled their heels, spurring them on. Zelda glanced behind, and almost fell over again. She was amazed that Link kept his footing so well on the unstable passageway. He ducked again and swerved to the right. Another blast of fire ripped through the air behind them, scorching their backs and singeing the ends of Zelda's long hair. She was panting with exhaustion. Suddenly Link stopped and swung her, so that he now stood between her and Aranda. "Get in the cave." He ordered, at the same time drawing his shield.

"But what about…?"

"GET IN." He yelled, and thrust her into the narrow tunnel. She crawled forward, hitting her head on a low rock and attempted to look behind her. She couldn't, the passage was barely wide enough for her to crawl through, let alone turn in. She scrambled as fast as she could to get to a wider space. Behind her she could hear and feel the blast of fire and the screams of the animal. The ground shuddered and a couple of rocks fell from the ceiling.

Link lifted his shield to protect his face as the fire washed over him again. The moment the fire stopped, he ran forward and slashed the creatures eyes again. Again, this attack had no discernable effect but it did make his adversary halt. In the dim light of his burning clothes, he gazed up at the creature. It was the same size as he was, with glowing red eyes and thick black fur. As he watched, the creature paused and sniffed the air. The whiskers on its nose twitched as it looked from side to side. Link was standing directly in front of it – so how could it not see him?

It continued sniffing as it lowered its head. He could see the gleam of its long yellow teeth in its mouth. Link remained perfectly still, watching and waiting for a chance to strike. Inwardly he smiled – who would have thought the Great Aranda, Lord of the North, would be afraid of rats? For that was what Aranda had become – a giant, fire-breathing rat. Link wished he had Amber with him. She was very good at killing rodents.

It was only when Aranda's head was level with his own, and his nose was actually sniffing his burnt tunic that Link realised why his attacks on the beast's eyes hadn't done anything. Aranda was blind. Link's left arm started to move slowly. Still Aranda sniffed at him, a low growl emitting from his throat. Link carefully raised his sword over his head, moving with as little sound or motion as he could.

Suddenly Aranda's sniffing paused and his whole body stiffened. He sensed danger. The low growl became a howl and he bared his fangs. At the same instant, Link struck. His sword came down with the swiftness of a falling rock, and he thrust it into Aranda's dark head. The rat screamed and plunged forward, it's huge heavy body slamming into him. The momentum lifted him off his feet. He crashed into the heavy wall of the cave, his head and chest feeling like a thousand knifes had just pierced him at once, and his vision went cloudy. Before him Aranda stumbled, and he lashed out again, plunging his sword into the creature's head. Fire and smoke pouring all over him. His body was pinned to the wall, and he could feel the rat tearing into his legs and chest.

Then there was a flash of brilliant light, the rat slumped forward for the final time, twiching slightly and the world went perfectly dark. A strange groaning sigh slid from Link's lips as he crumpled to the floor.

* * *

"So this is your Calatian friend?" Saeru's rich voice interrupted Zelda's desperate attempts to wake Link. He was lying face down in a pool of blood. For all intents and purposes he was dead. On hearing her voice, Zelda glanced up.

Saeru stood in the midst of a grey flame, watching her with an enigmatic smile on her face, her large golden eyes glistening mischievously. "He is very useful, is he not? He is very good at destroying the Dream Snatchers. I wonder why?"

Zelda, who had been wondering the same thing, sighed and turned her attention back to him. He was breathing rapidly, and his wounds did not seem to be closing over. She had not moved him for fear of making him worse.

"You are becoming fond of him." Commented Saeru, as she watched Zelda stroking his singed hair. "I thought I warned you about that? Calatian men are trouble."

"He is of Hylian descent." Snapped Zelda, as if that made it all better. She was irritated that Saeru was so easily able to define her feelings. It was one thing to admit privately to liking such a madman as Link, another matter entirely to let those feelings show.

"How very odd." Murmured Saeru, her attention fixed on Link. She could not see his face, nor did she have the power to see fully into the world she had been banished from, and there was much she would like to know about him. "I know of only one other who was…Has he spoken of me yet?" She asked.

"I told him what you had said and he agreed to help me." Replied Zelda, rooting through Link's pack in the hopes she could find something to use as a bandage.

"Does that not strike you as odd?" Wondered Saeru, her eyes glinting peculiarly.

"Not especially. Link is odd."

"I see. I also see you have your hands full tending to his wounds so I shall leave you to your work. Tell him when he comes to that I would very much like to meet him – this Calatian of Hylian descent. It is provident that Aranda was given the Ring of Awakening."

"Eh?"

Saeru pointed to the heavy signet ring that lay on the ground near Link. It was thicker and sturdier than the Oath Ring, made of the purest silver, and its signet was a deep cut ruby, made into the shape of a flame. Under Saeru's instruction, Zelda slipped it onto her finger and sighed. Now she looked even gaudier, with these two huge rings stuck on her fingers.

"In a dream you are transported from place to place in the blink of an eye." Said Saeru, her body fading into the darkness, "Yet when it is over, you awake and you are back in your familiar bed. Sometimes the dream will linger on into the waking hours. The Ring of Awakening will take you home, wherever you are. Tell it where your home is, and there you shall go."

"How does that help me now?" Wondered Zelda.

Saeru laughed and her eyes glittered once more. "You are allowed to share your home, child. Just beware of what your heart thinks…"

"What?"

But Saeru was gone.

Zelda sighed and closed her eyes. When her eyes opened she gazed at the spot where Saeru had stood and shuddered. Somehow the goddess was starting to scare her. And what had she meant about Link? Perhaps Saeru had an inbuilt dislike of men, which led her to mistrust them all. And she didn't really like the idea of transporting herself by magic to wherever her home was. She didn't have a home, she reminded herself miserably.

Her parents had died in her childhood – she had no memory of her father and only a hazy image of a placid mother who had been seeped in grief. Her grandfather and Impa had raised her. Daphnes had loved her in his own way, but had never told her in as many words – he had been too distracted with his role as High Judge, and Impa had been strict and stern. Perhaps that was why she liked Link, she mused, absently stroking his hair, he was open and (on occasion) affectionate, and although he mistreated her, it was always with an air of guilt, or accompanied by a reason. She could not stay angry with him, even when she tried to, and just when she thought she hated him, he would do something outrageous that would make her think she was in danger of feeling the opposite.

Speaking of which, he was moaning and showing signs of coming to. He rolled on to his back and yelped in pain, his hands clutching his side. "Oww…" He groaned, for the moment blissfully unaware of his company. "My ribs…ooo…it hurts."

"Are they broken?" Asked Zelda, anxiously.

"Huh? Zelda!" Link's blue eyes shot open and met hers. He grimaced slightly and shook his head, only closing his eyes as the pain made him reel. "Oh, no I'm fine. Fine!" He assured her, a little manically. "Never been better. Just a little stiff after the fight." He attempted to stand up, and immediately his face went an alarming shade of green.

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"Yes." Link closed his eyes tightly and then with a grunt, dragged himself to his feet. He seemed to realise he was bent double and attempted to stand straight.

"You're not being all heroic again, are you?" She asked, grinning slightly. She was relieved that he was able to stand but worried he was going to do himself worse injury.

"I am a hero!" He retorted, sounding almost like his old self and standing to attention, only to fall back, groaning again. "I – I am just…" He waved his hand in the air to simulate what ever words he wanted to say, but couldn't quite remember how and plummeted to the floor in a dead faint.

Zelda dropped to her knees beside him. She looked at the Ring of Awakening and sighed. "Impa it is." She uttered a swift prayer and closed her eyes. "I hope this works…"

**

* * *

**It took ten whole days before Link was well enough to get out of bed. Not even a copious dosing of the infamous red-potion mix with Lon-Lon milk and a magical piece of heart could cure two broken ribs and a severe head injury that quickly. Of course, Amber's reaction to seeing her master reappear had not really helped. She had jumped on him, knocking him over, evidently intending to start one of their usual play-fights. Link had not got the strength to fight her off, nor stop her frantic kisses. The wolf-I mean-dog, dashed around the room, picking up random objects, her tail wagging so hard it knocked each ornament it came into contact with on to the floor (usually breaking them). And then she had jumped up at him, attempting to fling herself into his arms, as she had done when she had been a puppy, normally Link would have been able to support her weight, but not this time. Instead of holding her up, he fell backwards, hit his head on the stone hearth and went silent.

Amber had thought he was playing dead, and had gone into super-hyper mode at this, and had started a licking attack on his face, nudging his arms, and rolling on her back pushing him around. Link only groaned more. It was Impa who finally managed to call the dog off by uttering one simple command. Amber recognised the voice of authority (as so many people did when Impa was around) and had contented herself by lying down at Link's side. There she had remained.

The dog refused to leave her master, insisted on sleeping on his bed by his side and growled ominously at anybody who made him groan. Which made treating his wounds a little difficult. The village doctor who initially was called on to attend took one look at the huge animal and had fled. The nurse, who was made of sterner stuff, made the terrible mistake of calling Amber a 'nice doggy' and had subsequently abandoned her post with such speed that she would have outrun the famous 'Hylian running man' had he been present. That left the task of nursing Link to Impa and anyone who was more scared of her than they were of Link's pet. For a day, this had worked out reasonably well, until Amber took a dislike to Mutoh. He had been dispatched with comparative ease, nursing a hole in the seat of his pants

Which left only Zelda and Impa with the task of nursing. Impa initially objected to Zelda helping, she couldn't be comfortable with the idea of her protégé alone and unsupervised in the room of a practically naked madman, tending to his wounds and watching over him. Not even the thought of Amber protecting Link from any advances Zelda might have been tempted to make eased Impa's mind. But she didn't really want to look after him either. She had not liked Link, she was annoyed that he had stolen her money, had left her in charge of his dangerous pet and had spent at least five days alone with Zelda. On the other hand, it was beneath her to act as a nurse. It was only when she saw that, not only was Zelda an excellent nurse but also that only when Zelda was in the room, would Amber leave Link's side to attend to the duties of nature, and get some food (thus allowing Link's nurses chance to change bandages, bedding and give the local healer opportunity to check his wounds) that she relented.

For Zelda the time was both worrying and strangely satisfying. Link was a difficult patient. When he was awake he wanted to be up, insisting he was well, when he was sleeping he was fretful. On the other hand, there were moments, when he would be still and calm, it was during these times that his hand would reach out for hers and when she took it, he would smile peacefully. They were the longest days of her life, but only she knew a sense of disappointment when they came to a natural end.

At the end of ten days, Link awoke feeling much better. For once his room was devoid of people, although Amber was lay at his side (taking over most of the bed space). He grinned and gingerly slipped his legs over the side of the bed. He waited for a moment, and then sat up. The house was silent. Pleased by this turn of events, as soon as his head stopped spinning he hopped out of bed. He checked the wound on his chest and touched the mass of bruising tenderly. He couldn't find a mirror though, so his question about whether or not he still had a full set of eyebrows would remain unanswered for now. Completely oblivious to the fact that he was (apart from a couple of bandages) for all intents and purposes undressed, he crept out of the room, Amber at his heels. He didn't actually realise he was naked until he had wandered into Impa's kitchen and found himself confronted by the sight of two older men, a plump, middle-aged woman, a thin, dark haired doctor, an angry Impa and an amused Zelda that he glanced down at himself and suddenly grinned. Impa jumped up at once, not to shield him from the acutely embarrassed stares of the inhabitants of her kitchen, but to protect Zelda's innocence.

But Zelda had collapsed into giggles already. "Link - Clothes!" She gasped.

Link grinned ruefully and met her gaze "Um, where are they?" He asked.

"I'll show ya." She said, hopping of her stool.

"Oh no you won't." Snapped Impa, grabbing her arm and pushing her back into her chair, shielding her eyes. "Rauru, take him back to his room."

Link watched in fascination as one of the men stood. Link marvelled at two things, firstly how rich he looked in his gold and blue robes, the second at how wonderful his beard was. It was so fluffy and white and majestic looking. Link resolved to grow one just like that as soon as his hair went white. Rauru was clearly embarrassed but he managed to look Link in the eye. "Er, come with me, my boy." He stammered.

Link cast one final look of despair at Zelda and followed him from the room.

Impa waited until he was almost out of earshot and then turned her attention back to Kru. "Why was his door unlocked?"

"You didn't say to lock it."

"Idiot." Snorted Impa, "Now you have corrupted Zelda's innocence. And you, miss, " She turned her angry red-gaze onto Zelda, "Have you no decency? You did not even blush! I am ashamed of you."

"Neither did you." Replied Zelda, serenely. She watched Amber who was scratching the door to Link's room and called the dog to her.

Impa humphed to herself and said, rather lamely, "I am a lot older than you."

"That's an admission." Muttered Kru, almost to himself. Zelda choked on a giggle. Fortunately, Rauru reappeared just in time to stop a full-blown argument erupting. He took one look at Impa's face, and coughed apologetically, "Um, I've given him some clothes, although he didn't seem to like them. He said he doesn't like himself in yellow, and have you got anything in green?" Rauru paused to gulp at the look in Impa's eyes as this message was relayed to her. "Er, and he wants to know what we are going to do with him?"

"Kill him?" Replied Impa, calmly. She then remembered that Link's nurse and doctor were still sat in her kitchen and attempted to laugh, as if it had really been a joke. Rauru and Kru were not convinced, nor would they sanction such a thing. Which was a shame. She shrugged eventually and admitted she didn't know.

"We could send him back to take on…you know?" Said Kru, not wanting to say much in front of outsiders.

"That won't work. He probably knows about him now." Mused Rauru, stroking his beard tenderly. "And what about the matter we discussed with…you know…?"

"Hmmm." Kru began to wish he too had a beard to stroke. It did make Rauru look more important. He had to make do with his bottle-top glasses. He took them off and polished them, then perched them back on his long nose. "We could…er…Impa what do you think?" Impa didn't think anything about Link that she was willing to share with an audience. She glared at the room in general and muttered something about giving him some rupees and banning him from Hyrule.

"I have a better idea." Zelda's pleasant voice interrupted all their musing. She smiled peacefully at them, perfectly aware that they thought she was far too young to have any ideas that would be of use to them, and also perfectly aware that where Link was concerned, she would have the final say because he would listen to her above all others. Anyway, she quite liked her plan.

"Go on." Said Rauru, trying to sound benevolent but really only sounding irritated.

Zelda glanced at the door leading to Link's room and smiled again. "He can teach me how to fight!"

**

* * *

**Hope you liked the fire-breathing rat. I have a big (read – hopefully amusing) plan for the next "monster" and also the next power Zelda gets will be something never before seen in a Zelda game (that I'm aware of anyway). Hope that whets your appetite. Don't forget to review!


	19. Lessons

Thank you to **Quinkilo1055, Yuleen75, I.K.A.Valian, La Generala, Link's Ocarina Blade and Booklover13 **for reviewing, I really, really truly appreciate your continued support and help! And thank you to everyone who has story alerted or faved this. I am flattered and hope you all continue to read and enjoy.

Sorry it took so long to post. I just can't seem to get the chapters right at the moment; I redrafted this about 4 times. I hope it all makes sense. Anyway, enjoy…

* * *

Chapter Nineteen – Lessons

Very slowly and cautiously he edged forward, soft leather boots barely making a mark on the ground. Innocent blue eyes flicked one way, then the other. The coast was clear. Good. Softly he took another step closer to his target. Those angelic eyes rested on her back for a long moment, their guileless depths belying purely mischievous smile currently adorning his mouth. All the while watching her like a hawk, he slowly lowered his body to a kneeling position and placed his gauntleted hands on the prize. His eyes were fixed on her, his body tensed and full of explosive energy.

A soft melody rose from her throat, he watched her hands moving rhythmically as she kneaded the bread. He grinned to himself and gently, cautiously, eagerly lifted his treasure from the floor. Only when he held it above his head did he allow his eyes to fly to the now vacant spot on the floor. His smile vanished and a disappointed frown took its place.

"Link?"

The call from outside disturbed his concentration. The jar he was holding fell to the floor with a shattering crash and the woman swung around, one hand clutching the material at her breast, her plump face whitened with shock.

"Merciful Nayru, what on earth was that?" She half-cried, half-screamed. Her eyes quickly found him standing in the corner of the room, hands still held over his head, a shattered brown pot at his feet, and a comical look of dismay on his face. She smiled with relief. "Ah, thank goodness for that. I thought something awful had happened." She said, and turned back to her important task of kneading the bread.

Still with his hands above his head, Link gazed down at the remains of the shattered pot, confused, and then glanced in her direction. One eyebrow went up and a wry smile tickled the corners of his mouth. After a long moment of contemplation he shrugged and went back to his task. His eyes darted about the room, searching for another target and soon located another large jar in the opposite corner. The sneaking recommenced.

"Hey Link! Where are you?" Came a second call from outside.

The plump woman chuckled, "Hiding are you?" She asked, glancing back at him. Either she didn't notice that he was holding another one of her priceless pots above his head, or she didn't care. She smiled benignly in his direction and carried on as if nothing had happened.

Link tilted his head as he looked at her, trying to catch a glimpse of her face. He wanted to see what was really going on in her mind – this was real daylight robbery and she didn't seem to even notice. He pulled a face and deliberately dropped the vase on the floor. Apart from her shoulders jerking forward slightly at the unexpected sound, she did not make a comment. Confused and slightly deflated, Link picked up the blue rupee that had been hidden under the jar and slipped it into his pocket.

"Would you like a cookie, dear?" Asked the woman, as he slid past her, making his inexorable way towards the little chest that lay hidden next to her dresser.

"Thank you." Link stopped in his tracks, took the cookie and flashed her his most beautiful smile. He was still confused though. Back in his Gerudo home, anyone catching him in the act of blatant theft would be trying to cut off his hands at this point. Hylians were strange, he decided.

The little chest was opened with a swift kick to its lock. "Hey, I'm just going to take this twenty rupee, alright?" Asked Link, tossing the red stone from one hand to the other, watching her intently.

"Oh that's fine, honey." Said the woman, smiling again. "Check my draws, my dresser, my wardrobe and my stove too, in cast you've missed anything and also there's another chest like that upstairs which you might want to investigate."

"W-what?" Link gaped at her for a good minute; she smiled and returned to her work. "Why?" He stammered.

"LINK!! LINK!!" Came a third call from outside.

"Your friend is looking for you." She reminded him, calmly

"I don't understand." He said, ignoring the calls from outside. "You're not going to call me "Thief" the instant I step outside your house and then tell everyone you've ever met in your whole life that that is my real name, and thereafter I will only be known as "Thief", are you? It's not another Koholint moment, is it?"

"Koholint? What's that?" Asked the woman smiling.

"I am stealing – _blatantly stealing _- stuff from your house and you don't care?" He asked, incredulous.

"No, why should I?" She countered, smiling peacefully.

"Er… because I'm stealing from you."

"Oh, I suppose…" Mused the woman. "But I wouldn't use it anyway."

"You wouldn't use the twenty-five rupees, the old rope, the glass sphere and heart ornament I have just taken from you?" He asked.

"Um…no, I don't think so. You can have them, love." Said the woman smiling up at him, "Now if you'll excuse me, pumpkin, I have work to do."

"You Hylians are messed up." Muttered Link as he wandered off towards the door. His day had been ruined. All the fun of his thievery had gone. He glanced one last time at the woman and was attacked by a strange prickling at his conscience. "Are you sure you don't mind?" He asked.

"You can have them, love. Now if you'll excuse me, pumpkin, I have work to do." Said the woman, smiling and speaking in exactly the same manner as before.

She turned back to her work and, after one last puzzled look he shrugged and opened the door. "And I thought I was bad." He sighed.

* * *

Outside the sun shone brightly as it always did in Kakariko. The sky was as blue as a cornflower and the little stone houses looked quaint and inviting. Not a wooden door (apart from Impa's) had been closed to him, he had been in them all, raiding and exploring. Plundering chests, wardrobes, pots, cupboards, bedrooms, and nobody had made a comment. Half the time they hadn't even appeared to notice his presence, and as for the two guards that blocked the entrance to Death Mountain… well he was only sorry he had promised Zelda he would try to behave on his sojourn here. They were possibly the most irritating soldiers he had ever met. They refused to let him leave, no matter what argument or reason he had. In fact, they seemed to understand every phrase he uttered to mean "let me pass."

"Nice day, isn't?"

"I'm sorry but it's too dangerous to go there right now."

"Have you seen any rogue cucoo's around here?"

"By order of Impa, Death Mountain is off limits."

"I brought you a pint each, you looked thirsty."

"I'm sorry, kid. You can't go to Death Mountain today."

In fact, the guards seemed capable of uttering only three sentences between them, all equally useless sentences too, and as Impa had forbidden him from leaving the village, he was pretty much stuck. He was banned from visiting Zelda, Amber seemed to prefer Impa's company to his and to top matters off, the local bombchu bowling alley was closed for refurbishment.

He had been pretty much bored too until a gaggle of children had discovered him. It so happened that they had discovered him whilst he was in the middle of seeing how many roofs he could run across without being caught by Impa, and they had been immediately smitten and had since then dogged his every move. On the one hand he was always happy to have an appreciative audience, especially one who understood the delightful artistry of the many things that he did, like seeing how many times he could prod a cucco before it went insane, or how often he could prompt Rauru to stroke his beard when they had a conversation, or how many revolutions of the windmill's great millstone he could take before he felt ill, on the other he didn't really want to be the town's babysitter. Especially if he was the town's babysitter for free.

It was the same children that had been calling him. They ran over as soon as they laid their wide, innocent eyes on him and all began talking at once.

"Where you bin, Mister Link?"

"I made a poopoo."

"We got Mister Rauru to fall inna ditch."

"Mister Kru said we're all imbeciles."

"Miss Impa got stuck up a tree."

"Waaaaahhhh."

"…and, and Miss Rachel's Cat…it got, it got…hiddened in the tree and, and it got…and, and Miss Impa went to get it and…and…"

Of course, as with all gaggles of children, there was not a parent in sight but one of the smarter, bigger ones had appointed himself leader. As usual, the kid was about five, acted like he was about seventy and gave himself every air of consequence and attitude he could pull of. This one's name was Nixie.

Nixie sized Link up, like he did on every meeting, possibly to try to see whether he was any taller than he had been ten minutes ago. On his approach, all the other children fell silent. Link met his brown eyes with a degree of amusement but solemnity, which met all the children's approval.

"We have a challenge for you, Mister Link." Said Nixie eventually. Link noted he was trying to put on a gruff adult voice and hid the grin that he knew was desperate to break out. Even he knew the worst thing to do when dealing with children is to laugh at them. The second rule was never to be patronising.

"Cool." Said Link, "What's it today? Stealing? Showboating? Winning Toys?"

"No." Said Nixie. He bit a finger, "Although those are good." He admitted. "We want you to jump off something."

"Oh dear. Have I upset you?" Said Link morosely. The children didn't quite get his joke but they understood the challenge to be accepted and they quickly led him to the nearby graveyard. At the back of this was a Dais where the old kings and queens of Hyrule lay buried. It stood some five feet above the level of the other tombs and was access by a series of shallow steps. All around it was fencing to protect the innocent from falling. Link climbed to the top of these and then, as directed by the children, hopped over the safety fence and jumped to the ground.

"Wow…" Cooed the children as he landing softly, and smiled. The dais had seemed mountainous to them, as it stood over their heads, but had hardly been a challenge for Link. Nixie folded his arms in a manner that strongly hinted at Impa-influence. "It was good, s'pose." He admitted. "But a little tame." He raised expectant brown eyes to Link's face.

"Not good enough for you, eh?" Said Link, responding to the prompting. "Tell you what, how about I jump off a roof?"

"You couldn't do that!" Gasped Nixie, the other children gazed in apt admiration at him.

"I could, but you little lot couldn't and don't you go trying it either." Replied Link, "You've gotta wait 'til you're a lot bigger before you have a go at this." He led them back into the village and quickly clambered onto a wall, up a fence crossed a precarious ledge and landed like a cat on the roof of one of the houses. The children gaped in awe at him. He smiled at them and then, with a little run forward, jumped from the roof. As he flew through the air, he twisted his body slightly so that when he landed he went straight into a forward-roll. Roll complete, he jumped back to his feet and bowed.

The children started to cheer. Of course he liked adulation, he enjoyed hearing his name being cheered, he even liked the idea that he was now perceived as a demigod amongst his peers, but he had a sneaking suspicion that the parents of the children, be they ever so lackadaisical about their offspring's well-being, would not be impressed if they knew he had inspired them with a desire to emulate his jumping skills. Even now he could see a couple of the kids jumping up and down, whilst another was sizing up a nearby bucket and working up the courage to have a good at jumping from it. Clearly it demanded a sacrifice of him to nip this intrepid spirit in the bud.

The thought of becoming a sacrifice was repugnant to him. Two weeks ago the thought would not have even crossed his mind, but now, thanks to Zelda and her endless moralising, he began to feel the pangs of a guilty conscience. Again. A slight from adorned his face again. "Will you teach us, Mister Link?" Nixie's reverential tone brought his wandering thoughts back to the present. Link sighed and light-heartedly cursed his involvement with Zelda. Her bad influence was starting to rub off on him.

"Sure." He said, "Now let's see. My final challenge. Oh, I know – I'll jump from _the _ladder."

"What?" Nixie had no other words to use. He gaped at Link for a moment, and then turned his astonished gaze to the ladder in question. It was the pointless ladder in the middle of the village that led to a look out platform, which nobody ever used and it stood about three times taller than any of the houses in the village. "Can you really jump from that?"

Mindful of his sacrifice, and seeing the children's excitement Link gave the latter a casual glance and said it would be a peace of cake. He led them like a duck leads its ducklings to water. He made them wait at the bottom, and quickly scaled the tall ladder. "You owe me, Zellie." He muttered to himself as he climbed. This mantra was the only thing that preventing his thoughts from turning to images of his martyrdom. He reached the lookout platform relatively quickly, and looked down. The children gazed up at him worshipfully; he could hear their little voices cheering them on. He noted the noise they were making attracting the attention of a few of the villagers and he gulped. He took a step forward and glanced over the edge; an unusual feeling welled up inside of him. He barely recognised it as nerves.

As soon as he felt nervous, he knew that was the time to go. As a Calatian Knight he was not afraid of anything – fear was the only weapon _she_ could use against them and he wasn't going to lose… Link shook his head as visions of his childhood swarmed into his mind. He did not have fond memories of his youth and he would not tolerate such memories invading his consciousness. With that in mind he took a little run forward and felt the ground beneath him vanish.

For a second he flew, the plummet made him feel light-headed. His body tried to twist into its usual position, so he could roll out of the fall (as everyone knows rolling when you land prevents any serious injury!) but he quelled the impulse. The next moment he slammed into the ground and he screamed.

"Aaaaaaaaaa……..Fffffffffff……….TCHhhhhhhhhhhh………eeeeeeeeeeee" He yelled as the full force of the pain ricocheted through his legs, up his chest to his head. At least he remembered there were children present and didn't teach them any new "angry" words (he'd already got in trouble over that when he'd accidentally referred to the local beer as piss water - the children had liked that expression). He could hear them screaming too, probably in shock at what had just happened. His body felt as if it was on fire, the pain was so intense…his eyes screwed shut as he battled the inner nausea he felt. Somehow he remained standing, the intense pain throbbing through his whole body.

Slowly he opened his eyes. The nausea was passing and he was confident that he had not broken his legs. Which was lucky.

"Mister Link…?" Came Nixie's voice. Link knew he had no command over his tongue yet, if he opened his mouth a thousand profanities would be released, so he just looked at the child. Nixie looked as though he had been crying, but he also looked a little miffed. "Mister Link, that was lame." He decided. With those words he marched his little troop of children off, utterly disgusted at their hero's fall from grace.

Link watched them go. "Well at least you'll not try jumping from things now, you little buggers." He muttered.

One of the smallest children walked past as he spoke. "Bug-ger…" She repeated to herself happily. "Bye-bye, Mister Bugger." She called as she flashed a brilliant smile at him and ran off to join her playfellows.

Link's hands went to his head. "I hate children." He decided.

* * *

Gasping for breath, Zelda levelled her sword once more and faced her opponent. Sweat was literally dripping from her skin and her face was flushed. Her dark blue eyes showed a grim determination but even against her own will, she was tiring. Her opponent closed in once again, circling her just out of reach, intently watching and waiting for her to move. A bead of sweat rolled down her forehead and slipped into her eyes. Zelda shook her head involuntarily and blinked. Her opponent struck with serpent-like speed, knocking the sword from her hand, catching her off balance. Zelda gasped in surprise as she found a wooden blade resting against the pale skin of her neck.

"That was pathetic." Sneered her opponent as she flicked the wooden sword away from her neck.

Beaten on all counts, Zelda could only raise her weary eyes to Impa's face and sigh.

Impa's face softened as her eyes rested on her ward. Dressed in the costume of a sheikah warrior, she admitted that Zelda did at least look the part, if only her sword skills would match equally, she sighed. Given her opinions on maidenly modesty, and her fierce protection of Zelda's said maidenly modesty, the armour she had given her to wear left surprisingly little to the imagination. The rich blue material clung to every bump and curve of Zelda's lithe body, the only consolation was that it was purposely designed to imitate a male body, rather than female. That made it acceptable to Impa. Zelda did not feel quite so sure.

"What did I do wrong then?" Asked Zelda, as she caught her breath.

"You lost focus." Said Impa, in a slightly kinder tone than she was apt to use. "I don't know if I can teach you…"

"Well let Link teach me then." Retorted Zelda. This rattled her mentor. Even the mention of the Calatian's name was enough to set a sneer on Impa's face.

"That idiot." Snorted Impa. "He couldn't teach your granny to suck eggs."

"I can't see that he'd want to." Replied Zelda instantly. If Impa's taste was offended by the thought of Link, Zelda's hackles rose in defence the moment anyone (but her) tried to abuse him. Her eyes flashed in annoyance. She hated the way only she seemed able to see the potential in her friend, she knew he was an excellent soldier – she had seen him fight, but the Judges seemed to dismiss this talent as unimportant. Whenever she took up the cudgels in his defence, she was accused of being a fool.

Impa knew this and also knew that if she were not careful, she would end up with her ward believing herself to be in love with him. She wanted to avoid that at all costs. She also wanted to minimise contact between them. She believed, and probably had justifiable reason to do so, that Link was having a detrimental effect on Zelda. Everything about the girl that she had previously approved of – her formality, her innocence, her reticence, was all slowly being washed away when she associated with Link. A perfect example was her reaction to Link's shocking exposure. Any normal girl would have been mortified to see a man in such a state of undress, Zelda had giggled. Impa needed no more proof of his detrimental influence.

Impa met Zelda's eyes and wondered how such a short acquaintance with someone could have changed her so much. She also wondered how she could put it right.

"Zelda, perhaps you do not understand why I do not wish you to spend so much time with him?" Began Impa, a little cautiously.

"I know why." Said Zelda, cheerfully. "You don't like him."

Impa frowned again. She detected the hand of Link in an instant. Even the way Zelda smiled reminded her of the idiot. "It's not that I don't like him." She lied, "It is that I don't trust him." Well that at least was true, she thought.

"Why?"

"Because he is a Calatian Knight." Stated Impa.

"Well if you do not trust him, why did you employ him in the first place?"

For a moment Impa was reminded forcefully of the late Judge Daphnes. He had exactly the same manner of delivering unanswerable questions, and as she looked at Zelda, she could see him standing there, slightly amused and highly dubious. It was the expression that always made even the toughest criminal cringe. Perhaps the girl was not quite the weakling she always imagined.

Impa blinked and then smiled, "You are right, I shouldn't have employed him but I was desperate and he was the only option." She explained with a little more truth than she liked to use. "Link was initially to be employed as a spy. He was to infiltrate the order of Hylian Knights and learn Ganondorf's secrets and relay them to us, thus giving us a better understanding of how to attack him. However, on the night he arrived, I received a letter from Daphnes, advising that you had vanished; we suspected Ganondorf's involvement but could not prove it. I therefore decided to send Link to confront the King, with instructions to kill him. I knew Ganondorf would kill him, but at least it would have sent him a message that we were serious and were wise to his tricks. Unfortunately, he found you instead and abandoned his quest…"

"Does Link know you were really sending him to his death?"

"I don't know." Replied Impa quietly. She met Zelda's accusatory look with a bland smile, "I would imagine he would find being sent to his death rather amusing. He would see it as a game, I daresay – his wits versus the 'reaper'."

"I suppose you're right." Said Zelda. "He always maintains that nothing scares him… I wonder why."

"That was his training." Answered Impa. "He was a Royal Knight of Calatia – Agahnim told us their history. Basically they are trained from the age of three to be fearless. Most of their lessons seemed to be either face your fears or literally die trying. Only the strongest and bravest of them lived to see their tenth birthday. After that they went through continual battle training for hours and hours daily until the age of fifteen and then they lived alone in the wilderness for two year, taking with them only a sword. When, and if, they returned they were knighted and given a unique warrior name. It was drummed into their heads that the only thing to be feared was the wrath of the King."

"No wonder he's so messed up then…" Mused Zelda. "Poor Link."

"That is the other reason I don't trust him." Continued Impa, carefully watching Zelda as she took in the information. "You are now on a quest to recover the Chameleon Stone, true? Did you know that it is a treasure of the Royal Calatian House?"

She let these words sink in, all the while watching Zelda's expression. She wanted to plant a little seed of doubt in her ward's mind. That would do for now. Once a seed of doubt is sown, it begins to crack the trust between two people. Providing she played her cards right, Impa was confident she could wean Zelda off her predilection for Link.

Zelda played with the fringe of her hair for a long moment, frowning over Impa's words. She could see the wisdom of what Impa said, possibly she could even agree with some of the implications but no matter what she thought, she couldn't rid herself of the image of Link as a child and what he had gone through. It made her feel even more protective over him.

"Shall we continue?" Prompted Impa, calmly disturbing her thoughts.

Zelda shook her head and resigned the image of a frightened little Link to the back of her mind (for later mothering) and flicked back into her fighting stance.

"Relax your shoulders." Ordered Impa.

"Stop playing with your hair."

"Your sword is upside down."

Zelda sighed and adjusted her stance, sword, and shoulders and flicked her hair out of the way. "Is that better?" She asked wearily.

"That's even worse!" Came Link's cheery voice.

Impa's helpful expression vanished into a terrible scowl. This only deepened as she watched his sauntering approach (only marred by a very slight limp). Zelda smiled in relief as she met his eyes. She hadn't been allowed any association with him for the last five days, thanks to his flashing incident, and she had missed his erratic company, plus now she really did have a reason to feel all maternal over him, it made his company twenty times better.

"You're limping." She observed as she critically watched his slightly halting steps. "Are you alright?"

Link's blue eyes gleamed mischievously. "I am now." He smiled sweetly at her, "Nice outfit."

For the first time that day, Zelda thanked the gods for the uncomfortable mask she wore for it covered her bright red cheeks. "Hey, er…" Continued Link, still staring at her, or rather her body encased in delightfully clingy Sheikah gear, "Correct me if I'm wrong but…isn't that? Oh dear."

"Oh dear what?"

"I've just realised – that's a man's costume, isn't it?" Link sighed and shook his head, assimilating the full glory of the outfit. Zelda glanced down at her clothes and shrugged. "I suppose so." She admitted. "What's the problem?"

"The problem is: if you're dressed up as a boy, then why the heck do I still think you're a hot little rock?" He mused comically.

"Because you're weird." Replied Zelda, laughing.

"I do hope you are not ogling my ward." Said Impa, stepping into the conversation before it got out of hand as she crossed her arms and glared at him. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Oh I was bored so I thought I'd come along and see how your training was going."

"It's going very well thank you." Snapped Impa.

"Really?" Link turned his most innocent gaze on her and smiled broadly. "Are you teaching her the Sheikah arts?"

"Yes, and if you will excuse us, in other words, go away, I would like to continue our training."

"Can I ask just one thing…?" Began Link. Impa tried to block the sound of his voice from her mind and turned her back on him. Unfortunately, Link could put on a whiney child voice on when it suited him and it made him a little difficult to ignore. But easy to strangle. "EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE me, Impa." He tried again. Impa's left eye twitched dangerously and she swung around to face him. Link grinned at her and continued, "If you are training her to be a Shiekah, why on earth are you using a rapier? A Sheikah's weapons of choice are kunai."

"Are you daring to tell me what weapon a Sheikah uses?"

"I'm telling you what they don't use!" Retorted Link. "Rapiers don't come into it. That's more a knight thing. If you want her to learn that sort of combat, you should let me teach her. I am far better than you at knightly kinda things like that you know."

"I'd rather die than let you…" Began Impa. She scowled and pressed her lips together. "It is irrelevant. You are less than useless."

"So I'm useful?"

"No. In fact, I thought we had dismissed you?"

"Did you?" Repeated Link, leaning against a nearby fencepost and smiling politely. "I must have missed that conversation. Then again, your conversations are pretty dull. In any event, I thought it was agreed that you feel it is still right and proper to employ me, since, although relatively brainless, I do have my uses in that I am a pretty good soldier, and you _had_ already paid me a deposit that you didn't want to waste. So you said that I was to continue investigating the Chameleon Stone and recovering the Signet Rings which I am to bring back to you so you can pass them on to Agahnim to experiment on."

Link grinned at the end of this statement and his eyes glinted in the oddest manner. "Oh wait, that's what Rauru decided was it not? You were the one that dismissed me."

Impa snarled. "I stand by my decision. I have never, ever met such a stupid boy as you before."

"No? And I've never met such a pig-headed judge either." Replied Link, coolly. "But don't worry, I'm just waiting for you to finish your _training_ with Zel and then we'll be on our way. You see I do know something about the Chameleon Stone, given that I am a Calatian and a member of the Royal…Guard, and I know that without Zelda's help none of the Dream Snatchers can be defeated."

Zelda, who had been mentally cheering her friend on during this argument, interrupted him. "Er, what was that?"

Link turned to her and smiled gently, "You do not understand your power yet I know, but I do – without Saeru's magic the Dream Snatchers will remain immortal. Remember in Death Mountain when I was crushed, do you remember the spell you cast? That flash of light – that was the power of Illumae, the power to bind an immortal soul to the mortal coil once more. That came from you. Once you had reconnected Aranda to the world, his injuries took him. Saeru made the Dream Snatchers immortal and only she can make them mortal once more. But she is giving you all her powers so you can do the same thing."

"Er, okay…" Zelda frowned at him and scratched her head.

Link laughed softly, "Did she not tell you that you were cursed?"

"Well yes…she said I would become the creature I fear most." Replied Zelda, confused.

"True, but you do not know what it is you fear the most, do you? Depend on it, Saeru does." He sighed, "The point is, it doesn't matter how great my skills are, or indeed how adept you are at handling a physical weapon. In the end, it is only Saeru's power that can destroy the creatures she created. I agree you should learn to fight, in fact I think it is impetrative that you do, for I may not always be here to protect you, but I think you should learn to use the weapons you have already been given."

"My magic?" Replied Zelda, still frowning at him.

"Yes."

"The same magic that only happens when you are around?"

"Hey, I can't help it if you fancy me, princess!" Link grinned at her and shook his head; there was still something very odd about his mannerism. He was calmer than usual, and more intense. His voice was the softer too, "Seriously though, you have a pretty tremendous power already. Maybe you would be better learning to control that before you learn to control a sword."

Impa gave him a suspicious look but Link's confidences were at an end, he leaned back over the fence and gazed at the sky, humming the windmill song quietly. Zelda watched him for a moment, puzzlement written all over her face. She chewed her lip, pondering his words and then turned to Impa. "Shall we continue?" She called, levelling her sword.

"No." Link suddenly jerked back into action. He grinned at her annoyance and sauntered to her side, "At least not if you're going to keep holding your sword like that."

Keeping his eyes fixed firmly on Impa's fuming red orbs he smiled cheerfully as he took Zelda's hand in his. He was getting quite used to the little zaps of surprise he received from her whenever he touched her unexpectedly, in fact he thought it was a cute token of her real affection towards him. He was also getting used to Impa's continual scowl whenever she gazed upon him. If he had been a sensitive man, he would have been upset that she appeared to hate him.

"Loosen your grip." He murmured, as he teased her fingers into slackening their grip on the wooden sword. "Good, now close your eyes."

Zelda cast a hopeless glance at Impa and then did as she was told, only sighing slightly. He clasped her wrist lightly and began to swing the sword loosely from side to side. When she automatically tightened her grip he remonstrated with her and placed his free arm around her waist. He grinned at Impa. "Good, keep your eyes closed and feel the balance of the sword in your hand, that is the best place to start. Get used to the weight and feel of it there, let it become an extension of your body and when you are happy, then you may start to learn to use it. Alright?"

"Mmmm." Said Zelda, she was unconsciously starting to hum along to the tune Link was singing quietly, recognising it as the song of storms that continually played in the windmill, and only stopped when she realised the lyrics,

"Impa's scowls,

Impa's glares

They can catch you unawares

She wishes you ill

Good thing looks can't kill…

Rauru's robes

Kru's big nose...

All three judges are so weird

Yes, they should all be feared." Sang Link softly in her ear. Zelda choked and then tried to cover her giggle with a cough. Impa's glare deepened.

Link stood back slightly and gave Zelda a critical look. "That's better, now at least you don't look like you're fighting with a poker stuck up your ass…" He began, before having to jump out of the way of an irate Zelda intend on beating him to a pulp.

He laughed as he jumped and dodged out of the way of her wild thrusts and swings, "That's much better." He taunted as he bowed and skirted around to her right, hopping just out of range. Zelda's eyes glowed with fury. "See how your movements are much more fluidic now?" Zelda swung the sword vertically, aiming for his head. He chuckled and back-flipped out of the way. "Nice." He called as he spun behind her back as she slashed into the thin air in front of her. "All you've got to do now is be a little less predictable."

Zelda snarled and charged at him, sword held horizontally across her body. He watched her running, with a smirk on his face. Suddenly Zelda tripped over a stone. She yelped and instantly Link jumped forward to catch her. As he moved, she righted herself and thrust the sword forward. There was an ominous crack sound as it slammed into his ribs.

"You mean like that?" Said Zelda, sweetly. A smirk almost as good as Link's stretched across her face and she held the broken wooden sword in place. Link gazed at the sword pressed against his chest and raised his eyes to her.

"That hurt." He complained.

"You deserved it." Replied Zelda. She whipped the broken sword away and tossed it to one side. The force of the impact had all but broken the blade and she was rather pleased with her efforts. "Your techniques are pretty good though."

Clutching his chest, and profoundly glad that they were using only practice swords, Link attempted to smile at the praise. He had taught Zelda only a very basic concept, and he had to admit, for all her flailing, she had been making intelligent moves and had shown some potential. He also didn't want to admit it, but he also believed that Impa would be better off teaching her the slightly less powerful, but fast Sheikah combat style. That would be more suited to her. He couldn't imagine her having the stamina to fight for a continued stretch using his rough and ready fighting style.

"If it had been anyone but me your trick wouldn't have worked." He decided, after failing to find a witty or smart response to her praise. "A normal soldier wouldn't have rushed to your aid like I did."

Zelda nodded. "Excuses, excuses. Just admit I outwitted you!"

Link grinned and gave her a half hug. "Oh I'll admit that." He grinned. "It's not hard to outwit a nitwit."

* * *

Let me know what you think. Hit that review.. next chapter we will see the promised power (never seen before in a Zelda game - I think...?)


	20. Duck Gravey

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Thank you very much: **Booklover13, Link's Ocarina Babe, Quinkilo1055, la Generala, I.K.A.Valian and Princess Mara of the Universe **for taking the time to review. You guys are awesome! Now then, who's gonna be reviewer number 100 (cookies if it's you!!) I'm glad you're all enjoying the story so far. I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint…

* * *

Chapter Twenty – Duck Grave-y

The room's darkness was softened by candlelight, their yellow flames creating dancing patterns on the walls. Through the tallest window, the silver moon was visible, sailing high above the clouds, casting her blue light on the silent world below. It was supremely peaceful and silent. It was the perfect night for a secret conference.

Ganondorf had gathered his closest allies to him and now, in the dead of night, they awaited his words. He allowed another moment of pure silence to pass him by before beginning his speech. In a hushed tone he turned to the first of his generals. "You know the situation so far – we are still in deadlock regarding the Judges. They have employed this "Calatian" to destroy me and he in turn is leading the sage on a quest to revive the Chameleon Stone… now then, what would you recommend?"

"…" The General gazed back at the King with large, blank eyes, but did not seem to have an opinion to advance.

Surprisingly, this did not seem to irritate the volatile king. He nodded and turned to the next of his subjects. "Yes, we could eliminate him." He mused, all the while watching the face of his subject closely. "But would that really be worthwhile at this stage?"

"…" Said the subject. Ganondorf frowned and scratched his beard. "If I leave him be…" he began, letting his mind wander through the possibilities, "Eventually they will come to seek me out anyway. However, by doing that, I might be creating a problem. He is clearly a talented soldier, and he has the sage with him. They could overpower us."

"Squeak." Said the first advisor.

Ganondorf allowed a scornful laugh pass through his lips. "Oh I am not worried. I only said it was a possibility. Fear not, we will be prepared if that happens." He reached out his hand to touch the face of his advisor. "Don't worry." He said softly, and picked the advisor up, giving it a quick hug and then lovingly placed it back in the dark bath water. The yellow rubber duck bobbed up and down in the water happily for a moment. Ganondorf nudged it with his foot and it went swimming off towards its seven playfellows, his advisors.

The King of Hyrule watched them with a doting smile on his face. Unfortunately, as he was such a villainous looking man, the smile only made him look more malevolent. If the ducks had been alive, they would have flown off in terror. But they were quite brave creatures, and they did not fear their King. One swam passed, its little motorised feet making a whirring noise. Ganondorf scooped it up and cradled it in his huge hands.

"I know." He cooed, stroking its head with one finger, "It would be much easier to kill him now whilst he sleeps." He gently squeezed the duck's squishy body to elicit a response.

"Quack." It said (It was one of the more vocally advanced of its fellows).

"You're right. It is a good idea." Said Ganondorf. "Perhaps…Kotake would know a spell, or Nabooru could slit his throat, but what about Zelda?"

"Quack-Quack." Said the duck, responding to a slightly rougher squeeze.

"Yes. She is a pest but I need her." Replied the King, calmly. "I would very much like to snap her neck…but…"

His eyes fell back onto his seeing stone and he grimaced. "According to what that Calatian fool inadvertently told us, she really is the key to unlocking the Chameleon Stone and I have no intention of letting that power slip through my fingers..." He gazed into the seeing stone again and smiled benignly. "I suppose their adventure is quite entertaining too," He admitted. Ever since Nabooru had handed over Agahnim's seeing stone, he had found in Zelda and Link a substitute for his lost soaps. Whilst he could not say that their adventures were not nearly as enthralling as the ones in 'Zeroes', or their romance was not as enchanting as the ones in 'Termina Bay', and their conversation was not quite as witty as those in 'Enemies', he did find watching them was addictive. It was like that 'Little Sister' show that had been on a while back – whilst you despised the characters, you couldn't bear missing a moment of their pathetic lives.

"But what if I…" A smirk passed over Ganondorf's face. He had just come up with the most marvellous plan. In fact he didn't know why he hadn't thought of it before. He returned his gaze to the Seeing Stone and sniggered. "Hmmm, that might just work. I will speak to Nabooru…"

"Quack."

* * *

"Humph, I knew this wouldn't work as I hoped."

Zelda awoke with a start; her eyes flew towards the window, her heart rate quick and her breath catching in her throat. She scowled when she saw Link's head there. "Go away." She hissed.

Ignoring this order completely, he hauled himself up onto the sill and slipped through her open window. Zelda glared at him, taking full account of his clothed state, the fact he had all his gear strapped onto his back, and an amused grin on his face. He looked perfectly awake too, which really annoyed her. In one hand he held what looked like a magnifying glass.

Her eyes took in all this sign of life when one should be dead to the world and Zelda sighed. "What are you up to?"

"Shhh. Impa might hear!" Cautioned Link, edging closer to the bed. Zelda watched him a warily. He waited before he was standing over her before raising the magnifying glass to his eyes again slowly. For a long moment he gazed at her, frowning through the lens before sighing and dropping his hand to his side.

"What's that?" Demanded Zelda, keeping her voice purposely quiet.

"It's a 'Lens of Truth'" Explained Link with a cheerful grin. "It's supposed to let you see through things."

"And where did you steal it?"

"STEAL?" Exclaimed Link, in a mortified (and very loud) voice. He cringed as soon as he realised he and darted back towards the window taking refuge behind a curtain. For a long moment they waited for sounds of Furious Sheikah Judge rudely awakened to assail their ears. But the world was silent. Zelda watched the curtain in some amusement as Link's head slowly emerged from behind it. He grinned at her.

"When have I ever stolen anything but your heart?" He whispered as he ambled back towards her bed.

"My heart?" Repeated Zelda, incredulously. "Right. You wish."

"Oh I do." Replied Link fervently. He flashed a mischievous wink in her direction and added, "I wish for nothing but to spend my life protecting you."

"Protecting me from what? You? You're the biggest threat to my safety and sanity I've ever met." She retorted, with a soft laugh.

Link appeared to be rather hurt. "What's that supposed to mean. You know I'd never hurt a hair on your head. Well, not intentionally. I might accidentally stamp on your foot, or pull your hair from time to time, but generally I don't mean to be bad. I like you far too much to want to harm you."

Zelda blushed and looked away, unable to bear his intense scrutiny. He leaned over her and took her hand, an odd smile on his lips. She glanced back up at him and his eyes glinted. "I promise you, princess." He whispered, for a long time he held her gaze, a strange kind of softness lurking in his eyes. Zelda felt her heart bumping uncomfortably in her chest and her hand went out to touch his face and then Link ruined the moment by performing the most ridiculous bow she had ever seen.

"Thanks, I guess." Said Zelda, when she had regained her control over her senses. "So tell me all about this lens thing? What is it? Where's it from? And why have you got it?"

"Oh right." Link seemed to regain his cheery disposition with some difficulty. He coughed and turned to face her, but she could see that his smile was forced. "It was in Impa's room and I…" He noted her look and grinned disarmingly, "I couldn't just leave it there in that little chest all alone now could I! Anyway, it's a sheikah artefact that lets you see things that are hidden. I was kinda hoping it would be more interesting than it is…I mean it can't see through…" Link stopped himself and looked sheepishly out of the window.

After only a tiny pause for thought whilst she remembered how Link had been gazing at her through the lens of truth, Zelda gasped and wrestled it from his grasp. She raised it through her eyes and glared him up and down through the purple lens. "Doesn't let you see through clothes, eh Link? How disappointing for you."

"I know." Sighed Link. "Never mind, I will find a way of doing so one day." He smiled happily, "anyways, now that I have it, I might as well put it to some use. So Amber and I are going exploring in the graveyard, we wondered if you'd like to come?"

"Exploring the graveyard?" Zelda looked passed him to the dark night outside and shuddered. "In the dead of night?" Her gaze fell back on to his face and she sighed. "Why?"

"I thought it'd be fun." Explained Link, not quite looking her in the eyes.

Zelda watched him for a long moment before assenting with a shrug.

"Oh, and wear your sheikah gear." Advised Link, as he slipped back out of the window, a little more cheerfully. "You look cute in that."

Casting another nervous glance at the window, Zelda wondered if Link had any idea how she felt about exploring a haunted graveyard in the middle of a night when the moon was full.

* * *

She was right. He had no idea. Not even when she resorted to clutching his hand as Amber growled at shadows did he imagine that she was frightened. He seemed to take great delight in searching out the tombstones dedicated to the innocent victims of murder, or ones who had suffered tragic accidents and insisted on reading out the inscriptions aloud in a soft, slightly nefarious tone. If his goal had been to make Zelda so terrified that she felt it necessary to clutch her arms around his waist just so he had an excuse to hold her in return and reassure her, his plan was working. She held him so tightly he almost stumbled a number of times.

Amber walked slightly ahead of her master, as Zelda had noted, every so often the wolf would stare into the darkness and growl. Of course, there was nothing to be seen. This made things doubly worse. When they trod on soft ground, Zelda was convinced they were walking across an open grave. When Amber suddenly stopped they were about to be ambushed by a host of ghouls. When the breeze lifted her hair, it was the ghostly baton of one of the Hyrule's Royal Composers (who had been executed for desecrating the Hylian National Anthem when they had sold it to Termina).

They were heading to the Royal Crypt. They would be, thought Zelda irreverently, as she recalled that Ganondorf had murdered the last King of Hyrule in some hideous manner whilst he had slept. Such was the state of her nerves that when Link stopped and whispered in her ear, she screamed and shot out a huge bolt of lightning from her hand.

"Link! Don't scare me like that!" She shouted, whilst recovering her breath. Her heart was beating ridiculously fast and she felt faint. She realised that Link had clamped her to his side with one arm and that this sort of embrace actually rather nice. She blushed again and struggled her way out of his hold.

"We're here." He announced as he allowed his torch to linger on the cold stone of the grave. It was marked with the holy Triforce and had a long list of names of past kings, queens and their royal progeny scored into its whiteness. Amber was growling at the tomb with all her hackles raised but Link disregarded that. "Now then," He said, brushing some dead ivy from the wording, "According to Calatian legend Lord Tolmei was the most loyal of Hyrule's knights. He had the Kings ear and ended up marrying one of his lesser daughters. This was of course before he sided with Lefestra in the war."

The yellow lamplight flickered over the white stone and a cold wind passed through the air. Zelda shuddered again. Link studied the stone again and frowned. "His name should be here but I only see the name of his wife – the Princess Zelda…"

"Zelda?" Exclaimed Zelda, suddenly interested.

"Yes. For a long time every woman born into the Royal Family of Hyrule was named 'Zelda' it was a law but as you can imagine, it did cause some confusion so it was then decreed that each Zelda would have a secondary name. In Tolmei's case his wife was named Princess Zelda Emalia Harkinian De Hyrule and here she is…" Link pointed to a small name carved into the white stone and smiled slightly. "All our records suggest that he fled to his wife's side when he was cursed but after that, there is nothing. I thought it would be a good place to come and look for him."

"I see your point." Admitted Zelda, as she traced the name of Zelda Emalia with a gentle hand, "But why did we have to come here at the dead of night?"

"For effect." Said Link. "That and also there's no way any one would let me break into the tomb in broad daylight. I need to find her corpse."

"What?" Zelda's face went deathly white.

"Well it'll be more of a pile of dust now I guess, but still it should be a fun place to look at. I wonder if we'll meet any ghosts… I hope so!"

With these comforting words Link suddenly pressed his whole body weight against the marble slab. Zelda could only watch in growing horror, as the stone slowly rolled back revealing a dark awning, like a mouth in the earth, with a flight of shallow steps leading into the darkness. Link grabbed his torch and whistled Amber. Neither dog nor owner seemed at all concerned as they disappeared into the darkness. Zelda was faced with two choices – facing the haunted graveyard alone, or braving the mysteries of the Royal Crypt. A cold wind brushed her hair and kissed her neck. She screamed and ran after Link.

* * *

The catacombs were every bit as horrible as she had imagined. Although they did not run into any ghosts, there were plenty of gravestones, effigies and old bones lying around in the darkness. The only light they had was from the torch Link held, and occasionally that would flicker, even though there was no wind. Zelda had resorted to clutching at Link again. She hated the whole atmosphere of the place, the damp, cold smell of death, the decaying bodies swathed in silks and robes and the dusty spider webs everywhere, the way the noises of the outside world that permeated the tomb were distorted and weird. Even their footfall was cushioned on strangely spongy ground.

Amber still led the way, padding softly ahead. Occasionally she would look back at Link, but Zelda noted that her tail was well down and her ears were pricked. The wolf was very much on the alert.

True to form, Link was the only one of the trio that seemed to be enjoying himself. He dragged Zelda from one tomb to another, taking great care (and enjoyment) in examining the remains of the past monarchs, reading all the inscriptions, occasionally touching the armour of a knight, or bowing his head in respect to another. All the while hoping that they would come back to life so he could have a go at Zombie-Slaying (which was something he'd always dreamt of doing).

The path they trod led deeper and deeper underground. The air crew colder, the cobwebs thicker and the noise from outside even stranger. Somehow it seemed even darker. The ground at their feet was covered in centuries of dust and decay that seemed to clutch at their garments and linger in the air. The effigies and memorial stones were broken and fading. The corpses on display more wretched and putrefied, twisted into unnatural poses, a few faded rags the only part of a once glorious costume that had not been eaten away.

Zelda could not bear to look at the remains. Even Link did not appear to be as curious or talkative as he had been. He focused on the path his dog was taking and walked on in silence. Only occasionally would he stop to glance at a mausoleum to check the date of death. They walked on in silence.

Further and further into the catacombs they crept. There was a distinct chill in the air and no noise penetrated the depths of the crypt. Few tombs were left in tack now, and even fewer of the remains could be clearly identified as human. The dust and cobwebs were so thick they almost filled the air and the torchlight could barely cut through the darkness around them. They were in the deepest, darkest vault. The walls were rough and the tombstones were crudely made. They were memories of a forgotten era.

At the furthest wall, Link finally stopped. Zelda tried not to think of how far it was to the exit, nor dwell on the imposing silence that pressed in on her. Even her grip on Link's arm offered her little comfort. She couldn't shake the feeling of cold dread she had.

"Stay here, I'm going to look for her grave. She should be in this part." Whispered Link. He gently detached her arm from his and took a step away. Barely a second later, Zelda had reattached herself to him, trembling violently, her face as white as a fresh-laundered sheet.

"Don't leave me here." She begged.

"You're not scared…" Began Link, giving her a puzzled look before realising that she really was afraid. His frown gave way to a smile (which in the dark torchlight looked quite sinister) and he shook his head. The next moment he softly called Amber to his side. "Amber, stay here." He ordered. The wolf gazed up at her owner for a long moment, before whining slightly and sitting down. He turned back to Zelda. "I won't be long, I promise and Amber will keep you company. To be honest, if anything does happen, she'd be far better at protecting you than I."

"What do you mean if anything happens?" Shrieked Zelda but it was too late, he had already wandered off into the darkness. Only the faintest of glows in the distance reminded her that she was not quite alone. She felt something soft and warm press against her leg and remembered Amber's presence. Zelda was surprised, for she had thought the wolf would wander off after Link, but it seemed his orders had not been disregarded. She heard the wolf yawn and then settle down onto the floor. After a moment, Zelda sat down beside the dog and after only a slight pause whilst she built up her courage, she buried a hand into Amber's long fur.

Amber sighed happily, and rolled slightly so she was half sitting on Zelda. Although the dog weighed probably as much as she did, her elbows were sticking into her legs painfully, and she was still slightly wary of the beast, Zelda felt comforted.

* * *

Zelda Emalia had last been seen alive six years after Lord Tolmei, her husband, had been cursed. Of Tolmei himself there were no accurate sightings, although most of the legends pointed the finger firmly in his wife's direction. At about the same time as his curse, her pet raven, Rasha, appeared to change. The assumption (and generally accepted theory) was that the raven was actually Tolmei in his cursed form and that Emalia had kept him by her so that they could lift the curse together. As to why he had been turned into a raven, nobody knew. In any event, Emalia and her raven had last been seen entering the Royal Crypt in Kakariko Village, one rainy evening. She never came out. Several years later, her corpse had been found, lying in the deepest of the tombs, her neck broken. At her side lay the bones of a bird.

Link contemplated this story without a concern as he gazed down at the bones of a princess. She was surprisingly well preserved. Zelda Emalia's neck had been snapped, it was assumed she had hanged herself. The body of her beloved pet Rasha had long since disintegrated. In the dim, flickering light of the torch, Link examined the grave for any hint of Tolmei's presence. He was a Dream Snatcher, and therefore immortal. If both Emalia's bones and the bones of Rasha (Tolmei's supposed alter-ego) were, or had been, here, then that meant that Tomlei had not fled to his wife's side.

So where was he?

Zelda shuddered again as the temperature of the room dropped another degree. It had been getting steadily colder, and she felt uneasy. Amber had rolled back to a sitting position, she was softly growling at something. She was looking in Link's direction. Zelda gulped and tried not to let her eyes close. Why wasn't Link back already? She felt panic and fear gripping her throat.

Suddenly Amber jumped to her feet and barked loudly. Zelda screamed and pushed herself back against the wall behind her. Amber crouched low and then sprang forward into the darkness. Through the gaps in her fingers, Zelda watched in horror as she saw Link's lantern swing around and then the light vanished. And then she was alone. So she did what she did best in these situations. She fainted.

* * *

Ganondorf gasped in amazement, one hand clapped to his mouth. Really this was rather exciting, he thought as he saw Zelda slump forward. He grabbed the Seeing Stone and shook it violently yelling "Wake up! Wake up! You're missing the best bit…!" Unfortunately she was out for the count and in any event, Koume had enchanted the stone so that the Hylians wouldn't hear his voice when he was spying on them. Ganondorf screeched in fury.

There was a soft tap on the door.

"My Lord, is everything alright?" Nabooru's voice echoed through the chamber.

"Er, fine, fine." He lied, quickly placing the Seeing Stone back on to its pedestal and hopping back into his warm bed and picking his wine goblet up once more. He had forgotten he had commanded Nabooru to come to his chambers. "I was just watching the Hylians."

"Oh." Nabooru sounded amused. "What are they doing up at this time of night? Nothing improper I hope."

"If they were, do you think I'd be watching?" Retorted Ganondorf.

Nabooru chuckled but did not reply.

"It's nothing! Come see for yourself!" He offered, nettled by her assumption of his character. There was a long moment of hesitation. The rules of interaction between the Gerudo were clear. The King was only to be approached on his say so, on his terms and when one was accompanied. Nabooru knew she was the only one around in this part of the tower and that Koume and Kotate (Ganondorf's surrogate mothers) would have her blood if they found out she had even been there. She closed her eyes, praying for a sign – a Yay or Nay – but the world was silent. She sighed and frowned. "I'm sorry, Sire, but I must…"

"WHAT IN THE WORLD IS _THAT_?" Ganondorf's excited cry suddenly changed her mind. Without another thought, she dashed into the room. She barely noticed the fact that her lord was once again naked, apart from one inadequate blanket, there were rubber ducks strewn across the floor, his hair was a mess and that his glass of wine had spilt down his glorious beard. He was staring in amazement at the Seeing Stone. "Nabs, you've gotta see this!" He squealed, without taking his eyes off the images.

Silently thanking Koume's foresight in disabling the Seeing Stone's power to convey speech to its' target, as Ganondorf began shouting at the images again, she rolled her eyes and smiled before gingerly taking a seat besides him.

"See! See!" Said Ganondorf, prodding her in the legs, hoping to make her look quickly at the stone. "What's that?" He asked, breathlessly.

Nabooru smiled at her king before turning to the Seeing Stone. She tilted her head and gazed at the image. Slowly it became clearer and brighter. Nabooru gasped as she realised what it truly was. "Why…it's a woman!"

* * *

"Ah, you are finally awake." Came a soft, amused voice.

Link's eyes opened sluggishly, he struggled to remember what had happened. He heard the sound of soft laughter in his ear and felt a cold hand on his forehead.

"Zelda, is that you?" He asked.

"Yes," Came the gentle reply. "Although I do not know if I am the Zelda you are seeking."

Link shook his head and struggled to open his eyes properly. At first all he could see was darkness, his lamp had gone out and he couldn't recall what had happened. Slowly he became aware of a soft light illuminating his body. It seemed to be coming from someone, or something. His mind felt cloudy but as he turned to see the light, his eyes widened and he gasped.

Kneeling before him was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen (and he had seen a lot of beautiful creatures). Her eyes were pale blue and were almost too large for her face – they seemed immeasurably sad and slightly cold. Her lips were thin and dark, slightly parted to show a row of perfectly formed, sparkling white teeth. Her pale hair shone like silk and fell in long, neat spirals to her waist. Her face was thin without being angular, her body slender and shapely. She was the embodiment of ethereal femininity. She smiled sweetly.

"Who are you?" Asked Link, a little breathlessly.

"I…I am Princess Zelda Emalia." She replied, with a slightly nervous inflection in her voice. "Why are you here?"

"I came to find you." Said Link.

"You did?" The girl's lips twisted into a smile, but her eyes glinted oddly. Link couldn't seem to tear his focus away from her. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he could hear a voice shouting a warning, but he could not hear the words so he disregarded them. He smiled up worshipfully at the goddess personified before him. She tilted her head and cradled his head in her cold hands. "Then I welcome you into my heart…Link…"

Next chapter will contain the "never before seen power" I promise!! Please review if you have time. Bye XX

* * *


	21. Me, Myself and I

Chapter Twenty-One – Forgotten Dream

Yay, I've got 100 reviews and nearly 4000 hits. I am so glad all you lovely people are enjoying this crazy story so far! Special thanks to: **I.K.A VALIAN (torture is fun!), QUINKILO 1055 (soaps rule), SUPERGOATGRL (your cookie is in the post), BOOKLOVER13 (Ducks, whether rubber or feathery should rule the world) AND LA GENERALA (Reviewer 100!!)** for reviewing so regularly. I really, really, REALLY appreciate it! I have made you a chocolate, cherry and pecan cake with butter icing and walnuts and some quadruple chocolate cookies!! Anyway, to the story…

* * *

Chapter Twenty-One – Me, myself and I

Having never before come around from a faint before to the sensation of having her face licked by a huge hairy dog-wolf-type-thing, Zelda did what came naturally. ZAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP. Amber yelped in surprise and jumped back, her hackles were raised but as her fur was standing on end, it was hardly noticeable.

"Oh Amber, I'm so sorry." Cried Zelda, whilst making 'come here' motions with her hands. Amber watched her for a long moment, deciding on whether the strange human could be trusted or not, before taking a somewhat cautious step forward to offer Zelda's hand a perfunctory sniff. The peace thus being repaired between them Zelda took stock of her surroundings. She was disappointed - but not surprised – to see that she was still in the deepest, darkest cavern of the catacombs. She was still trying to flatten her body against a cold wall, and it was still as nasty and scary as she remembered. And there was no sign of her companion.

"Link?" Zelda called into the darkness. When there was no response, she called again, louder. Amber joined in by offering some completely sinister howls into the equation, which so threw Zelda that she had to fall silent again. Every time she even opened her mouth, she heard Amber take a deep breath, and every time she so much as squeaked, Amber seemed to take delight in sitting back on her haunches and singing at the top of her eerie voice.

"You are just as bad as Link." Reprimanded Zelda, as she patted the dog's head.

"Aaaaawooooooooooooo." Replied Amber, her tail bashed happily against Zelda's legs.

"Yes, I daresay that's true." Continued Zelda, above Amber's wails, "But you should Hush."

Amber fell silent.

Zelda was surprised by the dog's abrupt obedience. She began to wonder what other words and tricks were in her repertoire. She decided to investigate later, for now she wanted to find Link and get out of this horrible place.

"Find Link." She ordered. Amber sniffed loudly but didn't do anything. Zelda sighed. "I thought it would be too much… Amber, HUSH!!" The wolf stopped her singing and whined. Incredibly guilty, Zelda rested a hand on the dog's ruff. The instant her hand touched her, Amber moved forward.

"Hey…" Began Zelda, jolting her hand away from the dog. Amber stopped again. "Don't do that to me…and HUSH!" The wolf-dog sighed loudly and waited until Zelda gently pulled one of her ears before moving forward again. Zelda loosed her grip again and Amber halted. She could almost feel the animal's contemptuous glare on her as she sighed again. "Are you trying to lead me?" Zelda wondered aloud. Amber whined and bashed her tail against Zelda's bare legs. As she rested her hand on Amber's coat, she felt the dog walk forward again and she came to an unsurprising conclusion: "Wow, you are much smarter than your master!" She exclaimed. "Good girl! Now – find him."

Pleased that the stupid human had finally understood what she had been trying to tell her (in Amber's opinion all human's were pretty dense), the wolf began tracking Link.

Following a trail as clear to her as a roadway, Amber paced slowly onward through the darkness of the tomb, the only sound was her constant sniffing. She worked methodically, taking her time, for she knew the human hanging onto her fur so tightly could not see through this hateful darkness. Her master had commanded her to stay with the girl and she had never yet disobeyed his voice.

It was an erratic pattern her master had taken and there were many false trials, some the wolf could distinguish, some that she would follow for a few moments before realising her mistake. The odd thing was, thought Zelda as Amber began retracing her steps; they always seemed to return to the same place: Zelda Emalia's grave.

After a couple more circles, Amber gave up and sat next to the tomb. Amber Zelda patted her head lightly and sighed herself. She shared the wolf's frustration. The only sign of Link's presence was the lantern that he had been holding just before vanishing. It had been placed neatly on the stone slab of Emalia's crypt. Zelda had taken it and lit it whilst managing not to take a look at the fallen princess. It was hard enough for her to be in the same room as this many corpses, let alone for her to actually start examining them, yet she knew she would have to. Zelda Emalia was the only thing that might hold a clue to Link's whereabouts. Grimacing and trembling violently, Zelda mustered her courage to look at the skeleton. As her eyes alighted on the body, she gasped.

As Link had observed, Zelda Emalia was remarkably well preserved. Perhaps because of the cold of the chamber, or perhaps because of some ancient enchantment that had lingered in her blood long after the breath departed from her body, the young woman appeared to be sleeping. Apart from the odd twist of her slender neck, she looked like a porcelain doll. She had been a remarkably beautiful woman and was still exquisite after nearly one thousand years of slumber. A thin veil covered her body. Her left hand rested on her breast, perhaps it had once clasped a flower; the right lay by her side, twisted slightly. The only thing that marred her beauty was the turbulent sadness of her expression. She was not enjoying a peaceful slumber. Her dreams were filled with nightmares. In the dim lamplight, Zelda could see dark patches on her wrists and neck.

"Poor girl" Whispered Zelda as she turned away, with tears glistening in her eyes. It was clear to her, for she had seen such marks before, that Zelda Emalia had been strangled and her wrist broken. That such a beautiful, peaceful creature should meet such a horrible thing was repugnant to Zelda. Not being conversant with Emalia's history, Zelda did not know that Emalia's body had been discovered years after she vanished, hanged in the very chamber where she now rested, nor did she see the mark on the back of her right hand. The goddesses' power had departed her body with her last breath but the scar of their glory still marred her skin.

Zelda sniffed and wiped her eyes. She blamed her unexpected sorrow for a girl she had never known on the lateness of the hour and the unsettled state of her nerves. She discounted the instant empathy she had felt for the forgotten princess as a mere fancy of her imagination. She straightened her shoulders and shook her hair from her shoulders. "I must find Link." She decided. "Come on, Amber."

As she stepped forward, her foot glanced against something hard. Startled she leaned over to see what she had tripped over. "Huh? The Lens of Truth?" She whispered, gazing at the Sheikah artefact with a frown. She remembered clearly what Link had said about the tool – it could see things unseen. She shrugged. "Might as well give it a shot." Slowly she raised it to her eyes.

Suddenly the room changed before her eyes. It was no longer dark but filled with thousands of tiny sparkles that lit it eerily. The corpses and bones vanished, and in their place lay sleeping figures, beautiful in their eternal rest. Her heart pounding in her chest and her breath clutching painfully at her throat, Zelda slowly turned. The air was so cold she could see her breath rising before her eyes.

"If you are looking for me." Came a soft voice from behind her. "You must be seeking the Ring of Deception."

Zelda swore, jumped and dropped the lens of truth in one fluidic motion. The room went instantly dark and sinister again. Fortunately the Lens had not fallen to far from her feet and after a moment of frantic scrabbling around in the cold dust, Zelda's fingers clutched its handle again. She raised it again and swung around to Emalia's grave.

In years after, when recounting this tale, Zelda was often heard to remark that all her fear had vanished the instant she saw Zelda Emalia's ghost. Although her aura was cold and calm, it was also kind-hearted, and this seemed to transmit into Zelda's conscious thoughts, stilling her panic and engendering her confidence.

Only when Zelda had recovered her poise, did Emalia speak again. Her voice was soft and refined (as befitting a Princess) and her manner was slightly aloof. "You seek Lord Tolmei, my husband." Her words were neither statement nor question, and no emotion showed on her face. "Therefore you must be cursed by Saeru. If that is the case I understand why you must destroy him…

"I…I'm sorry…" Began Zelda, stammering.

"For what are you apologising?" Interrupted Emalia, raising a translucent white hand, "I would not regret his passing to hell." She laughed as she saw Zelda's reaction to this, "Do not think I loved him. I would be happy to see his demise. He was a despicable man." She smiled enigmatically and stood, shaking out her skirts. "If you seek Tolmei, then I will assist you. Come."

"Wait." Said Zelda, running to catch up with the graceful figure. "I do not seek Tolmei, well not on my own at least. I had a companion…Link."

"Link?" Emalia stopped in her tracks and swung around repeating the name. "Link is with you?"

"Do you…know him?"

Emalia bowed her head again and turned away. "I forget sometimes that I have long departed from this mortal coil. The Link I knew perished long ago. He was too late to save me. He was the one who eventually found my body, long after Tolmei had hung it…" She stopped recounting her tale as she noticed that Zelda's face had turned a peculiar shade of green. "Does my tale distress you?" She asked, quite surprised. "I suppose I have grown accustomed to viewing myself from afar, I forget it may upset others hearing me speak in such a manner. I believe that you are the first person ever to visit me in my slumber to notice that I did not augment my own death. My Link believed that was because I had lost my husband. He always was a little…dim-witted." She smiled at the memory. "But that is in the past. Where has your companion gone?"

"I don't know. He was looking at your grave and then it went dark and the next moment I was alone."

"He was at my grave? Oh, I see. I know where he will be. I will take you to him." Emalia smiled, "My companionship will be useful to you yet, I know the quickest route to the burial mound where Tolmei lurks, and whilst we are travelling, I will teach you how to use your magic more effectively."

"You know about my magic?"

"Of course. All women in our family have the Potential."

"O-our family…?" Began Zelda, but Emalia had already drifted a good distance away. She sighed and called Amber to her side.

* * *

"Will Link be alright?"

Pausing mid-cast of a fire spell, Zelda Emalia surveyed her companion slowly. "You adore him." She remarked.

"WHAT?" Zelda fairly screamed, "You think I love that idiot?"

Emalia chuckled and returned to her spell. Sparks flew from her fingers, drawing strength from the power of the goddess Nayru. The sealed door blocking their path had no chance. Zelda much preferred this method of 'dungeon crawling' to the more traditional mode adopted by Link. Instead of looking for keys, or solving puzzles, Emalia used her magic to blast holes through doors and walls, slice through thick metal bars, and light lanterns. She glided across the threshold before returning her gaze to Zelda and saying, "Well, don't you?"

"No!" She noted Emalia's amused look and turned away. "Maybe I like him, a little but…"

"That's how it always starts out." Mused Emalia, as she incinerated two unwary un-dead creatures with a bolt of light, whilst floating across the room. "Does he love you?"

"No…at least I hope not...I think" Stammered Zelda, fixing her embarrassed gaze on Amber's shadowy form. "Does it matter anyway?"

Emalia chuckled again, "Perhaps. It depends on what Tolmei has done with your Link."

"He's not my…oh never mind, what will Tolmei do to him?"

"You'll see." Laughed Emalia, and glided on ahead at an even faster pace.

Zelda could only be glad that the conversation had ended. Puzzling over exactly what she felt when she imagined her unconventional friend was a fruitless exercise. The answer was, she didn't know what she thought. Nor did she know what to make of Emalia.

She still hadn't made up her mind when they reached the final sealed door. Emalia had grown more and more cheerful the further into the gloom they had travelled. For a ghost she knew an awful lot of magic, and was more than capable of using it. Her fingers were at that moment glowing silver, ready to melt the lock on the final door. Her eyes were glowing peculiarly in the darkness, and she was floating about a foot off the floor. She was also humming.

"My dear, whilst Tolmei breathes this is as far as I can take you. Are you prepared?" She asked, breaking off her song to look at Zelda. She smiled sweetly, "One last thing before we cross into the unknown – did you earn your Sheikah armour?"

"Pardon?"

"I mean: can you fight?"

"Um…well…"

Emalia sighed. "Oh dear." She glided back over to Zelda and gazed at her, "And you don't love your Link? Then I wish you the blessing of the Goddesses in your forthcoming trial and wish I could be of more assistance to you." Emalia nodded and blasted the rusted metal lock. The chains glowed white for a second before crumbling to the floor. She cast a glance over her shoulder at Zelda and smiled. "Perhaps I should warn you before you advance: there was only one thing in the whole world that had the power to terrify Lord Tolmei...me."

* * *

Zelda had thought that nothing could be worse than the catacombs but she was wrong. The air in Tolmei's lair was oppressive and thick. It seemed to catch in the back of her throat and it stung her eyes. She felt breathless, tired and disoriented. Even the lens of truth could not cut through the darkness. Once again she was forced to rely on Link's pet.

Amber was reassuring her by keeping up a nice morale-destroying growl, she stalked slightly ahead of Zelda, crouching as she walked, hackles erect, ears pricked. For once Zelda did not object to Amber's growling. Well, she did, but she had the feeling she would infinitely prefer any noise Amber could make to the dead silence of the tomb. It was reassuring to know there was one other creature alive in there. Emalia was not able to cross the threshold.

"L-L-Link?" Zelda called his name softly and was not at all surprised to hear that her voice was shaking as much as her whole body seemed to be. She shivered and reached out her hand. Her other she kept held firmly on Amber's collar. All around her she could feel the presence of something else – a dark and sinister thing that pervaded her very thoughts yet remained invisible.

There was no answer to her soft call. She tried again, a little louder. Her voice seemed to echo off walls that were invisible to her. Amber growled a little louder.

Terrified and almost alone, the weight and horror of the darkness started to slip into her mind, making her almost desperate to give in, turn back, or just curl up into a ball, crying.

The feeling of hopelessness smothered her further. Only Amber's presence, felt through her thick fur and deep rumbling growl, encouraged Zelda to keep on her feet. She could feel cold tears of pure horror stinging her cheeks and hastily wiped them away. She felt almost as though she was trapped. A whole wave of emotions crashed into her as soon as she said the word in her mind: trapped – she was trapped in this hateful darkness, she had no hope, and no one could save her…

Amber's growls diminished and she halted as she realised that the human was weakening and lagging behind. A careful olfactory study of the girl showed she was being consumed by terror. Her sweat glands were excreting water, her body was trembling and her temperature was cooler than it should be. Amber toyed with one or two ways to tackle this (both were lessons her master had taught her): reassure the pitiful human, or bite her.

After one long sniff, which drew no response from the petrified Zelda, Amber decided on Option Two.

Amber sat on her haunches watching the theatrics after Option Two with an almost self-satisfied look on her face. The two-legged-idiot-puppies usually frowned on any form of biting (for some odd reason) but every good wolf-come-dog knew that the best way to get a fellow's attention, make them obey you, or just to warn them, was a gentle nip on a nice fleshy limb. In her humble opinion, the girl was over reacting by screaming then crying then shouting "Bad Dog!" She waited until the colourful magical display was over before sniffing the leg she had bitten (a nice clean little nip, thought Amber, with no breaking of the skin but enough pain to snap the stupid creature out of her terror) and whined.

"It's no good apologising now!" Retorted Zelda, although she did place her hand back on Amber's collar. "I won't forgive you." Amber whined again, and just for the sake of peace, gave the part of Zelda's arm she could reach a kiss. "You know what, Amber?" Decided Zelda, "You _are _as bad as Link." She smiled at the thought and rubbed her leg. Her Sheikah armour had saved her from any actual injury but it had been a shock. She stood up and patted Amber's head. "You know, I don't feel so scared now… "

If Amber could have spoken she would have told Zelda in a few choice words that not being scared was only to be expected – a shock tends to have that effect on one, but having not been blessed with the gift of speech, the wolf could only sigh.

The lens of truth was not very good at picking through the darkness but Amber was. She had found Link's scent again and was following the trial purposefully, and rather quickly. The floor was even so Zelda didn't stumble, but even so, she felt rather breathless as she was dragged behind the fast moving wolf. This time they were not travelling in circles. Amber was heading in a definite direction and somehow the darkness seemed to be thinning and lifting. As the darkness began to lift, Zelda began to hear snatches of a soft melody.

"Hello?" She called.

The song stopped and far ahead of her, a light appeared. Amber growled and practically sprinted towards the lantern, dragging poor Zelda behind her. She came to an abrupt stop, as she perceived the person holding the lantern, Zelda almost falling flat on her face as she did. Blinking the dust from her eyes Zelda raised her eyes and then gasped.

"Link?"

Link blinked as he saw the two and tilted his head. "What are you doing here?"

"We came to find you, dummy." Replied Zelda, tripping over to him, grinning. He looked a little shell-shocked but other than that, okay.

"…Zelda…?" She heard him murmur, as she embraced him. She guiltily enjoyed the relief of finding him, and the feeling that all her fears had just been brushed away. But something seemed different. Link did not immediately return her hug, and when he did, he did not try to crush her bones (as he normally did) or say anything stupid.

"Are you alright? You seem…odd?" She remarked, pulling away, a look of worry visible in her eyes.

"I am well." Replied Link, a little robotically. "I have a headache…"

"That explains it." Laughed Zelda, relieved once again. "Hit your head again?"

Link smiled ruefully, "Something along those lines, yes."

Zelda hugged his arm and grinned, "Never mind, I am just so glad to see you. I was worried. What happened to you? Did you find Tolmei?"

"Yes. And I have the Ring of Deception." Replied Link; again his manner was a little stiff as he raised his hand to her so she could see the glittering amethyst signet ring, placed on his right hand.

"Oh, well done." Said Zelda, glancing up at his eyes. "What about Tolmei? Where is he?"

"He is in that cage over there." Replied Link, "I cannot destroy him for I do not possess the power of Illumae. I trust you can do the honours."

Casting another glance at Link's profile, she nodded. "I suppose." Link smiled at her and took her arm, leading her towards the cage. She did not find a man locked there, but the beautiful Zelda Emalia. Zelda was not surprised to see this, for she knew that Tolmei would have become into the thing he feared the most, which in his case, had been his wife.

"What I don't understand," Said Zelda, as she looked at the Lord Tolmei, locked into the body of his beautifully fragile looking spouse; "Is what Tolmei was so frightened of in the first place."

Link's hand touched the magical barrier surrounding the cage and for the briefest of moments, Zelda saw a strange look fill his eyes. "Zelda Emalia was not all she seemed." Explained Link. The caged woman glared at him. "She appears to be a beautiful, enchanting creature, but in reality she is full of deceit, hurt and lies.

"Lord Tolmei feared for his life when he was with her." He continued, deliberately provoking Emalia, or Tolmei, by smiling at her. "She was a great sorceress, but only he knew her true nature. The people believed her to be a goddess reincarnated, he knew her to be a witch. She hated him with a passion that consumed her heart so deeply that she began to practice the dark arts. Tolmei feared not only for himself, but also for the lives of his family, and indeed for Hyrule. She was allied with the devil himself and sought only her own advancement."

"She sounds rather nasty." Commented Zelda, her eyes drawn to 'Tolmei's' dark blue orbs. The creature in the cage shook her head slightly.

On seeing this, Link laughed, "Oh do not believe those innocent looks, my dear, Tolmei seeks to deceive you just as his beloved Emalia would deceive him. If you cut into his heart, it would be as black as his blood. Kill him now and let us depart from this place."

Zelda took one last look at the captured Emalia and returned her gaze to Link. "Very well." She concurred. "I suppose it is only fair, he did murder Emalia after all."

"Yes, a life for a life." Agreed Link, his eyes flashing happily.

Zelda gazed at him for a moment, remembering Emalia's words. If the Link in the past had not realised the true nature of her death, then her Link wouldn't know either, would he? He met her eyes squarely and smiled.

"Link?"

"Yes?"

"Before we go, will you tell me something, honestly?"

"Of course." Said Link, smiling again.

"Is Amber really a wolf?"

"Amber…?" Link's confused look did not go unnoticed by Zelda; his eyes flicked passed her and rested on her companion for a brief moment. "Ah…what an odd question, my dear, of course she is a wolf. Anybody could see that."

"Then she is not a Hylian Terrier?"

"Of course not." Laughed Link, he shook his head with amusement. "What kind of an idiot would ever suggest that beast was?"

"You." Replied Zelda, quickly drawing her sword. "Well, not precisely you – more the man you are trying to impersonate. Lord Tolmei, you might as well tell me now. Where is Link?"

"What nonsense is this?" Link laughed a little unsteadily and took a step back, giving the sword a nervous glance.

Zelda poked it towards him and advanced, "I repeat: you are not Link. Tell me where he is. Now."

"I tell you: I am he!" Exclaimed Link, stepping back again, almost cowering before Zelda.

"Fine, then answer me this: where did we meet?"

"Er…"

"Who is my guardian?"

"I…"

"What did you steal from Tingle? What's the name of your betrothed?"

"That is easy – the name of my betrothed is Zelda? Correct?" He flashed a grin at her. "Now, my love, do not be hasty over this matter. If I am behaving in a manner to which you are unaccustomed, blame it on the grievous injury I have sustained to my head. I do beg of you to reconsider. Lord Tolmei – that creature in the cage – is your enemy here, not I, Link, your love."

Zelda paused and watched him thoughtfully. "I see why Emalia despises you." She commented. "You are truly a contemptible man. Do you really think I would not see through your feeble disguise? If you seek to convince me that you are indeed Link – the Link I know, and incidentally do NOT love - then you should at least attempt to model your speech on his. Link is not really the smartest man I know, most of his sentences are constructed by guess, and he is only less annoying than Tingle, but no amount of bashing him on the head could possibly have so dramatically changed his personality into that of a self-centred, snobbish coward. Plus," Added Zelda, swinging her sword menacingly at him, "Link does not cower. Ever."

At this moment, a screech of rage and frustration was dragged from "Link's" throat. His hands curled into fists and his snarled at her and suddenly the trappings of Link fell away from him like a curtain falling. In his place stood a version of Zelda Emalia, only this version of the fallen Princess had a very ugly look in her eyes. "Stupid girl. Hah! You may have seen through my disguise but do you think that will help you?" He sneered and struck Zelda's sword from her hand. "I am Lord Tolmei! The greatest of all Saeru's Dream Snatchers!"

He sprang forward and grabbed Zelda's throat, lifting her from the floor. "Do you know why I feared my wife?" Snarled Tolmei, as he drew Zelda's face to his. "She had the power to destroy me! But I turned the tables on her! Hah! That fool! She knew my game, oh she knew, but she could not stop her own destruction. I will kill you just like I killed her, dear little princess!"

Zelda struggled and kicked out at Lord Tolmei, she couldn't quell the panic rising inside her. She tried to scream but Tolmei's grip was so tight she could not breathe. Suddenly, he threw her to the floor. Laughing maniacally he continued to rant about his wife, "Do you know what else? Pitiful sweet Emalia, so powerful and wise, she could not stop me. I walked in her shoes for a whole six years, whilst I trapped her in the body of that blasted bird of hers and nobody noticed. You know, you only really know someone until you walk in their shoes and I only saw her for what she was then – a fool despite all her "knowledge". I used her power against her – I wonder how she felt as she was killed by the man she really loved?"

"What?" Gasped Zelda.

"Oh, don't think I was in this guise when I strangled her." Laughed Tolmei, advancing again, "The experience was so much more pleasurable seeing it through the eyes of the man she truly loved. Just as it will be with you…"

He waved his arm in front of him and suddenly his body became Link's again. Zelda kicked out at him as he advanced, but it made no difference. It was surreal, even though she knew it was not really Link, it was horrible seeing him coming at her like that. All of a sudden, she became aware of a movement at her side and then a flash of gold shot by her.

Amber stood in front of Zelda, growling at Tolmei. He laughed at this devotion and aimed a forceful kick at Amber's midriff. As he moved, Amber sprang for his throat. The result was inevitable. Having the advantage of momentum on her side, plus being armed with teeth and claws that she had no hesitation in using, Amber forced Tolmei to the floor, and clung on to his throat with bullish determination. Tolmei struggled, just as Zelda had before. Clawing at Amber only made the wolf angrier and her bite harder. He fought back with weak versions of the spells Emalia herself would have used, but against the enraged wolf, they were almost ineffective.

"Stop! Stop! Mercy!" Screamed Tolmei, as he gave in the struggle.

"Amber. Enough." Ordered Zelda. She was unwilling to fight against a foe so cowardly and defenceless but she was not going to let him go either. She pressed the point of her sword against his chest, ready to strike, Amber at her side. "Tell me where Link is." Demanded Zelda.

Tolmei gasped for breath and the guise of Link fell away from his body once again. He did not answer.

"Tell me." Ordered Zelda, moving the sword so it pressed against his neck.

"Go ahead. Do it. End this!" Mocked Tolmei, as he felt the cold hard steel. Zelda did not move. He laughed. "Hah. Just as I thought! You cannot end this yet because you do not know what I have done with your precious Link. It seems therefore that I have the upper hand."

"Not necessarily." She retorted. "I could still kill you and then find him. I was just trying to be nice."

"Hah. You Hylians are all the same." He sniggered and moved himself away from the blade, only to be confronted by Amber, who appeared to take exception to his very existence. He glared at the wolf and continued, "You think you can bargain with your executioner, well you can't. Without me, you will never find Link. Or at least, you will never, shall we say "restore" him to his true self."

"You're mad." Scoffed Zelda. "I have magic. I can…"

"You couldn't. You lack the knowledge…" Suddenly he swung around and somehow managed to knock Zelda off her feet. In a strange role-reversal, he managed to pin Zelda down, both hands firmly around her neck, choking the life from her struggling body. "Should I do this in the guise of your little friend?" He mocked, allowing the stolen mantle of Link to wash over him again. He laughed at the horror in Zelda's eyes but was not quite prepared for what happened next.

The white light that erupted from Zelda's body engulfed him in its white-hot anger and dazzled and confused him.

"What is this?" He screamed hysterically.

Zelda pushed him away and stabbed him in the arm. "AMBER! HELP!" She screamed.

"You…little…bitch…" Screeched Tolmei, trying to wrestle the sword from her. He smashed his fist into Zelda's face and she yelped. The next moment, Amber had launched herself onto him and only a matter of moments later, he slumped forward. All the life drained from his body. With a massive groan and more strength than she had thought herself capable of, she managed to shrug the burden from her. The stolen body of Emalia had gone, in its place was a twisted, evil looking man – powerfully built, with lifeless grey eyes and pale hair. His face was twisted into a sneer. Zelda waited until she had caught her breath before twisting the Ring of Deception from his cold fingers.

The power of Illumae had again come to her rescue.

She sighed as she watched his body disappearing. Now to find Link, she thought, calling Amber to her side again. She looked around, and instantly her eyes fell on the caged figure of Emalia. She stared at her for a long, silent moment before crossing to the cage. "Link?"

The Emalia nodded and smiled.

"You know, I think I like you more when you're silent!" She said, with a grin.

The Emalia pulled a face and held out her hand to Amber. The wolf licked the hand happily and pressed herself against the bars, trying to get into her (admittedly odd-looking) master. After petting Amber for a while, the Emalia held her hand through the bars towards Zelda, the dark blue eyes filled with amusement.

Zelda took the hand with both hers. "How am I supposed to cure you? Tolmei was right; I can't do it."

"No, but I can." The soft, genteel voice of Zelda Emalia drifted over to them, accompanied by her much happier and peaceful looking ghost. "You did well, child." She added as she approached. "You saw through Tolmei's trickery even though you profess you do not…"

"Well never mind that!" Zelda interrupted hastily. "Please will you return Link to his normal self?"

"Of course. I should have also told you that should your heart fail to guide you through Tolmei's deception then you could use the Lens of Truth to see through his lies. It shows you the things hidden."

Zelda nodded and raised the lens to her eyes and gazed at the caged Emalia. In place of the fragile princess stood her rather less fragile and more colourful Link.

Emalia watched them indulgently for a moment before clearing her throat, "Shall I?"

* * *

"So what happened to Saeru?" Pondered Link as he walked at Zelda's side, "Doesn't she appear whenever you defeat one of the Dream Snatchers?"

"I've not really thought about it." She replied, sounding worried. "But you are right. I didn't even feel her presence in there. Maybe she will meet me later. Oh I don't know. I'm so tired!"

"I'm not surprised, you fought hard back there." She gazed up at him, surprised. Link smiled, "What's with the look? You did really well, considering your woefully inept sword-handling."

"Woefully inept?" Repeated Zelda, dangerously.

"Well from where I stood it looked remarkably chaotic."

Zelda stopped and turned so she could properly glare at him. "Care to repeat that?"

"It's not your fault. Blame Impa!" Said Link as he grinned disarmingly, "Even so you did look pretty…pretty, even though you were dressed as a man, although to be fair, I feel more comfortable admitting that considering I was wearing a woman's body at the time." Zelda's lips twitched but she remained straight-faced. Link sighed happily and continued, "You know, that was the first time I've ever worn women's clothes."

"I'll bet you enjoyed it too." Remarked Zelda, before she could stop herself.

Link chuckled. "I felt so pretty and girly. I really must do it again sometime. Preferably in Impa's presence! I could picture her reaction now." A smile adorned Link's face. "Perhaps I should buy myself a dress…and a bag, and some shoes and a pot of rouge…and…"

"You know, I think you are a little too enthusiastic about this idea."

"What do you mean? I am embracing my feminine side! Only because I was so cute as a girl mind, if I had looked like a heifer crossed with a pig I wouldn't be so keen on the idea…don't you think I made a pretty girl?"

"I think you'd make a pretty good candidate for admission into an asylum." She retorted.

"Why?" Link appeared to be genuinely surprised. Only the telltale glint in his eyes gave him away.

Zelda sighed. "You know, I worry about you sometimes?"

"Only sometimes? Wait, that means you really do like me? Oh JOY!!" Cried Link, hugging her. He then conducted a happy dance with one of the nearby corpses, accidentally knocking a leg off in the process. "Oops." He said, and hastily replaced the body back onto its tomb. "Er…I think we'd better leave."

Zelda shook her head at his antics, quashing the giggle that was threatening to emerge and exchanged a glance with Amber. The wolf seemed to have the same thought as her. "You know, I don't think I'll ever understand how your mind works." She lamented as she caught him up.

"No, I don't think I do either." Replied Link, at his sunniest.

"I wish I did."

"Did what?"

"I wish I understood you better, Link." She said.

As soon as the words were out of her mouth there was a bright flash of purple light. Amber yelped, Zelda screamed, and Link felt as though his body was being torn apart. The light burned their eyes and seemed to make their bodies buckle. And then it was gone.

When his senses came too, Link realised he was flattened against a wall. His whole body ached and his head felt fuzzy. "What was that?" He whispered, finding Zelda's leg and prodding it.

"I don't know." She breathed. As Link did, she suspected some kind of magical trap that had attacked them and did not want to trigger it again. "I feel…weird…" She admitted, moving very slowly into a sitting position.

Link felt more than weird, he felt downright extraordinary. The magical attack had extinguished the lantern and even if there had been light in the chamber, it would have been difficult to see anything. His vision was filled with pretty glowy lights. He waited until they had gone before relighting the lantern. He glanced down at his legs and suddenly frowned. A quick glance at his arms and hands and a very quick touch of certain vital areas made an unholy grin pass across his face.

"Uh, Zelda?" He whispered. "I think we might have a leeettle bit of a problem."

"What do you…huh? What's with my voice…why do I sound like…oh…oh dear goddess, no…" As Link had done only moments earlier, she stared in horror at her limbs and touched her face. Her face suddenly drained of all colour as the realisation of what she (or rather the ring of deception) had done. She turned to Link but instead of seeing him, she saw herself.

"Oh no…" She cried, burying her face in her (now big) hands and clutched at the short blond hair that came within reach. She heard her companion giggling and moaned again. "But I don't want to be you, Link!"

* * *

Sorry the chapter end was a little lame (again) but I hope it makes sense. The next chapter is entitled 'Body shocks' so I'll bet you can you guess what it'll be like!!


	22. Body Shocks

Thank you, **Quinkilo1055, Link's Ocarina Blade, I.K.A.Valian, Booklover13, SuperGoatGrl, and Yuleen75** for your reviews! I hope I have spelt all your names right today! Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter…

* * *

Chapter Twenty-One – Body Shocks

Seated at the head of the breakfast table, a huge repast spread before him, Rauru couldn't help but smile. Breakfast was his favourite meal, it was the only time he was ever allowed to gorge himself in Impa's presence. Besides of which, the sun was shimmering brilliantly through the shutters, casting slits of golden light across the walls, the birds chattered in the trees and a recreant cucco clucked as she passed by the door. It was a perfect morning, so why everyone else still looked so vexed was a mystery to him.

Opposite him sat Impa. Whilst it was not unusual to see her glaring at somebody, it was a little early in the day for her unpleasantries to begin. Rauru sighed sadly as he observed her expression. It was a shame Impa enjoyed being cantankerous, he decided. Kru could be forgiven for his annoyance. After all, he had been rudely awoken at an hour just before dawn when an army of keese had suddenly decided to take up residence in his room. It was unfortunate that his screams had attracted Impa's attention. She did not like her dreams interrupted and when the said interruption had made it apparent that both her charge and her charge's erstwhile companion had managed to escape her clutches, the result was not pleasant.

Underneath her fury, Rauru knew that Impa was genuinely concerned for Zelda's welfare, and that anxiety only led her to stoke the flames of her anger, so when Zelda did eventually return (with Link in tow) she was ready to just about murder somebody. Fortunately Link, otherwise known as the bane of her life, had been standing nearby so she was able to vent her spleen on him. Unfortunately, she had not expected Link to react as he had. He had first argued with her and had then burst into tears and stormed off to Zelda's room. Zelda had watched the proceedings with an appalled look on her face and had shot after him, shouting "My reputation!" Impa had followed the pair and after another ugly run in, where Link was hauled off to his room in hysterics, Zelda banished to her room in a state of seething fury and Impa retired downstairs to raid her 'lethal-strength-only-to-be-consumed-in-emergencies-drinks cabinet, some semblance of normality had returned.

Rauru, ever the optimist, had hoped that the whole incident would be forgotten by breakfast. Judging by Link's sulky air, Zelda's glittering eyes and Impa's expression, and the unfriendly hush in the air, the combatants were not quite ready to forgive and forget.

"Eggs, anyone?" Asked Rauru, attempting to break the uncomfortable silence. He smiled blankly, focussing on the silver tray he was holding out, rather than confront three of his four companions. Zelda was the first to relent.

"Go on then." She said, holding up her plate. She met Link's eyes as she spoke, clearly some message was passed between them, for she smiled hastily and added, "Please?" to her sentence. She piled three eggs to her plate and then added two slices of bacon, three sausages and a few cooked tomatoes. Under Link's unwavering blue stare she quickly grabbed a couple of slices of toast as well.

"You seem to have a good appetite today." Remarked Impa, giving her charge the same incredulous look that Link did.

"Er, do I?" Replied Zelda, gazing at her fully loaded plate in apparent confusion.

"Do you not think it would be wise NOT to eat so much?" Asked Link, a brittle edge to his voice.

"I'm hungry." Retorted Zelda, shoving a forkful of egg and bacon into her mouth defiantly. "You should eat summat too!" She added, munching on a piece of toast, "_You'll _get hungry, _Link._"

"I will not." Link gave the spread of food a look of loathing. "I don't think I can eat today."

"No?"

"Not. A. Bite." For a moment Link and Zelda glared at one another across the table, both pairs of blue eyes flashing a challenge.

"I'll make you." Threatened Zelda, the slightest hint of a smile lurking on her otherwise stern mouth.

"Will you now?"

Not at all impressed with how the two seemed to be reacting to one-another – their manner was far from informal - Impa cleared her throat and ordered Rauru to pass her the tea. Casting an unladylike wink at Link, Zelda returned her attention back to her plate, smiling.

"It's good to see a young lady with a healthy appetite." Remarked Kru, as he watched Zelda joyfully add a pile of fried mushrooms (which had previously escaped her notice) onto her already rather full plate. "So many girls these days half starve themselves to maintain what they'd call a "nice" appearance – skeletal appearance, that's what I'd say, why when I was a lad it was the height of fashion for girls to be a plump…"

"Little handful." Zelda finished his sentence, with a rather odd hand gesture (for a girl) and her dark eyes glinting playfully. "I know just what you mean, Kru. I think women in general look better with a couple of curves on their body – you know, let's us…er - you guys know there's a real woman underneath them clothes and…"

"Oh so that's why you are practically gorging yourself? You think it is attractive?" Asked Link pointedly from across the table.

"I can stand to gain a couple pounds." Declared Zelda, casting him a defiant look.

"I say you are perfect the way you are." Snapped Link. "One slice of toast and maybe a sliver of bacon should be sufficient for someone _your size_."

Zelda grinned at him and, throwing caution to the wind, grabbed another thickly buttered toasty treat. With a mischievous grin at her adversary, she raised it to her mouth. The next instant Link had jumped from his chair and had slapped it furiously from her hand. It fell on the floor and was promptly devoured by Amber, who like her master, rather liked buttered toast. Link's chair followed the route taken by the toast, clattering to the floor unnoticed as Zelda and Link stood over the table, glowering at one another, noses only inches apart.

"Don't eat so much, _Zelda._" Snarled Link, he had grabbed both of her wrists in one hand and held them in a death grip.

"Stop telling me what to do, _Link!"_

"Just stop being such an ass." Snapped Link. "And why were you in the bathroom for a whole hour this morning? What the heck were you doing?"

"I was _trying_ to get dressed!"

"For a whole hour?"

"YES! I got a bit sidetracked…"

"Oh, sure you got sidetracked, you disgusting, perverted little…toad!"

"Hey, I can't help it! All right?"

"No it is not all right! You…you…"

"Er, children…?" Began Kru, trying to calm the seething pair. He looked at Rauru. Rauru looked from Link to Zelda, he could almost see the sparks flying between their eyes. He gulped and turned to Impa.

The Sheikah judge sipped calmly from her china teacup, red eyes watching the battle with obvious indifference. She carefully placed the cup back onto its saucer and then removed Zelda's plate from the table, passing it to Amber who watched anxiously from the sidelines.

The noise of the plate meeting the stone floor with a gentle click was hardly ear splitting, but in the tense silence of the room it made the combatants jump.

"My breakfast!" Exclaimed Zelda, as she watched Amber munching the entire contents of her plate almost as quickly as she herself could. Link 'humphed' and sat down. He'd forgotten his chair had been pushed from the table in a rage. As he fell he grabbed the snow-white tablecloth. The result was inevitable. Link's screech as he was covered in a yummy, hot coating of toast, bacon, eggs, sausage, mushroom a pot of tea and various sauces made a smile appear on even Impa's stern face.

From the wreckage of breakfast came a small voice. A pair of bright blue eyes sought out the face of Zelda. A look of loathing filled those beautiful eyes and (not so) unusual tears started to flow. With a look that could kill, if only her magic was working properly, Zelda, trapped in Link's body, glared at her number one antagonist and pronounced that beautiful phrase. "I hate you."

* * *

"So Nabooru, what do you think of my idea?" Ganondorf sounded so like an excited little child, that Nabooru, who had woken up to find herself with a hangover and only hazy remembrance of the nights happenings, wondered if he'd been on the happy pills again. She remembered them getting bored of watching Zelda, who was wandering through a series of ever darker rooms, with her ghostly companion. Ganondorf had then switched the seeing-stone off and had said something about sharing a bottle of '46 Gerudo Ruby Rioja. She remembered downing that. She also remembered that after about the fourth, or maybe fifth bottle of Chateau Romani they had imbibed, they had decided to have a chat, the conversation getting louder and a lot more vulgar, for she recalled they had giggled over something for ages. And then she had… Nabooru sat up and blushed. Surely she hadn't had she?

"What ails you now?" Asked Ganondorf.

She turned her puzzled gold eyes to him and noted that he was still only partially clothed. That was all right, he had only been partially clothed last night. She had a suddenly horrible vision of herself sprawling across his very broad and very naked chest saying "'n ffwat maksschhyuu a grrreat kin-hic-ing, Gannny, issch dat yuuu de most gorgoshched effin mmman-hic in al' Hi-hic-rule. I ffrrealllly ffffanceesch yuuuu…" Right after that it seemed she might of accidentally sort of launched herself at her King. She blushed again. "Er…Sire, we didn't…er…do…er…I mean, did I…um…behave inappropriately last-last night, Sire?"

"Don't you mean 'Ganny'?"

Nabooru screwed her beautiful eyes closed and cast a slender hand over them. She could not meet her Lord's eyes, and thought it was rather mean of him to chuckle when she was so clearly mortified. "Sorry." She whispered.

"Heh! You didn't say that last night when you molested me." Smirked Ganondorf, who was still to be fair, a little stunned by the uncharacteristic affection shown to him by his second in command, though he had vowed to get her drunk more often. "Anyway, what do you think of my idea to kidnap Zelda?"

"Kidnap? Er, My Lord, haven't we already done that and didn't it fail?"

"Yes." Replied Ganondorf, with an evil look. "But you know – 'if at first you don't succeed, try try again!"

"Sir, might I point out that the only thing kidnapping a maiden is good for is to give some idiotic knightly type the chance to bag himself a rich bride? If you kidnap Zelda again, you'll just have that idiot Link come and rescue her again, and don't say he won't. It's bound to happen. Things like that always do."

"What if I wanted to promote their relationship? Make them fall in love." Asked Ganondorf, a sparkly look in his eyes.

"If you wanted to _what_?"

"You know – help them get together – you disagree, huh? Oh well, I thought it'd be entertaining to play matchmaker for once. You know I feel so happy today. The sun is out, the sky is blue and the birds are singing. It's good to be alive."

Ganondorf watched Nabooru puzzling over this statement for a moment, before grinning evilly. "You should see your face." He laughed. "Priceless. I think I should always keep you by me, you are the most… interesting… woman I know." He flicked her cheek with a lazy finger and smiled benignly.

Nabooru, who was on the verge of having her King committed for such alarmingly abnormal behaviour sighed with relief. Seeing him happy was something she was unaccustomed to, and it both confused and amused her. Her golden eyes turned to him instinctively. He was watching her intently, his dark gold eyes fixed on her face. His lips twitched as he saw her expression. "My Lord." Gasped Nabooru. "I have just had a brilliant idea!"

"Is it a dreadfully villainous idea?" Asked her Lord cautiously.

"Oh, it is the most wicked, nasty thing I have ever thought of!" Reassured Nabooru, smirking. Ganondorf's eyes became all sparkly again as she began to explain her very, very, _very_ evil plans.

* * *

Link ached all over. His back hurt. His legs hurt. His arms hurt. His hands hurt. Even his head ached. He pulled up from his brisk jog and leaned over, hands on his knees catching his breath. The sight of his dainty little feet, and long shapely legs (or what he could see of them) encased in white and blue Sheikah armour, for once did not instantly cheer him. In fact he felt miserable. Twice that day he had felt like crying, for no reason whatsoever, and once he had actually been on the verge of lashing out at Zelda when she had smiled at him.

Stupid Zelda trapped in his lovely, man body, whilst he was stuck with the feminine equivalent of a slug. Another stomach cramp sent him reeling. "Oh gods, I am dying." He moaned. After a pause, the pain subsided. He glared at Zelda's retreating figure.

"Wait up!" He shouted.

This made his companion turn around and glare at him. It was the most bizarre thing in the world, he decided, to see yourself truly in the flesh and listen to yourself speak. Well, it wasn't really yourself, he supposed, watching Zelda roll her eyes and place her hands on her-no-his hips, she was speaking, but she was using his vocal chords and she was completely, utterly tearing your carefully built reputation to shreds.

"Will you keep up, lazy bum?" Yelled Zelda.

"I am trying to! It's not my fault this blasted body of yours has no stamina. I thought you said you went for a five mile run every morning."

"I do." Link did not see the slight blush that spread across her cheeks as she spoke this blatant lie.

"Well you can't have been pushing yourself very hard." Retorted Link, inching forward, rabid cramp invading every muscle he could feel. He was entirely convinced that women were made in a completely different manner to men. He hurt in places he'd never even dreamt of before. "And please, don't stand there with your hands on your hips. I never do that!" Guiltily Zelda adjusted her posture. Link cringed. "Nor do I stand clutching one arm in my hand, legs together and head down. Legs slightly apart! Back Straight! Shoulders back! Head up! Face everything with a grin, got that?"

Zelda adjusted her posture again and sighed. "Happy now?"

"I'm only trying to help." Explained Link. He looked at her, or rather his body and ran his eyes over it to check for any visible signs of damage. Their jog had taken them partway up the Death Mountain trial, away from the village. With Impa watching the pair of them like a hawk, they had decided to go for a run to escape the slightly too shrewd judge. "Did you get a bruise when you ran into that table this morning?" He asked, plonking himself down on the grass and immediately yelping as he sat on a stone.

"A bit." Replied Zelda, sitting much more elegantly by his side. "It's strange though, it didn't hurt nearly as much as it should."

"Yeah well, my body is a lot tougher than yours." Smirked Link, casting another look at his body.

"Yeah, and it seems to be inherently more stupid, clumsy and lazy. Why already I feel my intelligence levels sinking to new lows." Retorted Zelda. She gave her own body a critical look and sighed. "If we are going to be stuck in these bodies for any length of time, I suggest I give you some lessons on how to dress."

"I thought I'd did alright today. And it only took half an hour."

"Twenty-seven minutes to gawp at my bust in the mirror, one minute to find some clothes when you heard me leave my room and the other to fling them on at random and pull a comb through my hair." Link blushed (he seemed to do that a lot in Zelda's body. In his own body he would have grinned sheepishly). "Don't think I don't know what you're up to." Said Zelda, ominously.

"Well you're not exactly dapper yourself today."

"At least I am wearing something different than yesterday's clothes."

"That is guaranteed to make Impa suspect something's up! I never change my clothes."

"I noticed! Nor do you bathe, oil your skin, polish your nails or cut your hair." Snapped Zelda. "You are such an oaf."

"Well at least I do not…uh…" Link rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly and looked away. "I don't always have time. Besides, I like me looking a little rough around the edges."

Zelda closed her eyes momentarily. She was probably praying for the strength to cope with this ordeal. She wished there was some way she could revenge herself on Link. Some way she could inflict a permanent mental scar on his cockly little self, without actually doing something horrible to her body in the process. Although it was her that had made that stupid wish to understand him better, somehow, she convinced herself that it was still his fault. But she couldn't think of anything. "There's looking rough and then there's looking like you." She snorted. "And the worst of it is, I can't even take a bath…"

"Why?"

"Aren't you embarrassed by…? No. You wouldn't be." Sighed Zelda, only able to cope with the thought of her poor body at the mercy of Link's perverted mind, by not thinking too deeply about it.

Link smirked again. "No. That was the most interesting night of my life."

Zelda's eyes closed momentarily in acute pain. "Unfortunately, unlike you, I have morals and standards. Something you sorely need to learn. I cannot bring myself to…bathe…"

"Go to a hot spring then."

"That's even worse. Then I'd be surrounded by naked Gorons."

"Then tell Impa what you've done."

"I can't. She'll kill me." Zelda moaned and flopped forward.

"Well then…ooooooooocccchhh…." Link suddenly rolled forward.

"Link, are you alright?" Zelda watched as Link doubled over in pain, clutching his stomach.

"I am going to die." He declared.

"Er…why?"

"My stomach hurts _sooooo_ badly."

"It's just cramp. Deal with it!" Retorted Zelda, a little scornfully. "You are such a wuss!"

"I am not. I've never experienced pain like this before. It's agony! It's torture! It's…"

"It happens to me every month but even worse! Just be glad you're not having to deal with that…yet!" Snapped Zelda. "Do grow up! We've got more important things to consider – like what the hell are we going to do?"

Link glared at her, not at all happy with her lack of sympathy. He saw his own eyes staring back at him, enigmatically, a little scornfully even, and he suddenly wondered if he truly looked that uncaring? Were those frown lines he could see on his face? And did he ever need a haircut!

"Link? Real world time please!" Zelda waved her hand in front of his eyes and he blinked. "What are we going to do?"

Link sighed and stared at the horizon. It was a tricky question. He wasn't even sure there was an answer. You see the problem with their body swap was that Zelda had taken all her magical knowledge with her, but she hadn't exactly taken her powers. And as Link knew pretty much nothing about magic, he couldn't revert them back to their own forms. They had tried. They had even toyed with the idea of asking Agahnim for help. But he would only tell Impa. And Impa would subsequently kill the pair of them.

"There's only one thing we can do." He decided, in answer to her question. "We have to find Saeru."

"Well, duh!" Snapped Zelda. "That's a no-brainer. You know, I generally am held to be a smartish sort of girl, you should remember that whilst you are posing as me. Do you think I've not thought of that already? It's impossible!"

"What's impossible?"

"Finding Saeru? To do that we have to defeat the next Dream Snatcher, right?"

"Right…"

"So how can we do that when you can't fight in my body and I can't use my magic in yours?"

"I see…well we could find the next 'Snatcher and see what happens." Said Link, ever the optimist.

"That's your answer to everything, isn't it? Yay – I'm Link, everything will work out okay, coz the sun shines out of my butt! Can't you see we're in serious trouble here? And…"

"Oh stop being so dramatic!" Interrupted Link, angrily. His cheeks flushed and then suddenly he went very white.

"Now what's up?" Sighed Zelda, as Link suddenly lolled forward.

"My stomach…hurts…" Link groaned pitiably and rolled on the grass, clutching a hand to his abdomen. Zelda watched these signs with no little alarm but then enlightenment dawned on her. She looked both guilty and amused. "Am I going to die?" Moaned Link.

"Not really." Zelda suddenly started to giggle, in a manner that Link could only describe as being purely evil. "But I think I know what the stomach pains mean."

"You do? What?" Gasped Link, still doubled over in exaggerated demonstration of his agony.

"I-hehe- don't think you're gonna enjoy this week much, Linkipoo…"

* * *

Hope you liked that! Sorry I didn't go into Ganondorf's / Impa's reactions this time although Impa does feature more next chapter so who knows? Also, expect another OOT (and probably OTT!) cameo very soon. Cue dramatic music…or maybe not! Please feel free to review!


	23. Truth

Firstly, sorry I've not updated for a while. I've just started a new job and got a bit distracted with that, I will try to update this at least once a fortnight from now on. I will try to make the chapters better than this too. It aint my best work..

Anyway, many thanks to **ADD Kyuubi Naruto, I Like Yoshi, I.K.A. Valian , Yuleen75, Link's Ocarina Babe, Princess Mara of the Universe, QuinKilo1055, la generala, Booklover13, Super Goat Grl and stonerock333 (can't believe I had 11 reviews last chapter! THANK YOU) **for your reviews. I love to hear from you and hope that you notice that I do learn from your comments! I shall stop waffling now and let you get back to the story.

* * *

Chapter Twenty Three - Truth

"Mail call." The high-pitched, ever so annoying voice of the infamous postman stirred Rauru from his post-breakfast snooze. Smoothing his beautiful moustache down and and shaking his fluffy white hair, he half fell out of his chair to answer the door.

It was as expected. The postmaster himself stood at the door, hopping from foot to foot, an inane grin plastered across his face. His red clothes and cap were almost, but not quite, as cheerful as he was. Even his hair was a variant on the confident, cocky red theme (he had just dyed it to match his clothes). He had two thick envelopes clasped lovingly at his breast, his eyes were filled with joy – a joy only known to him. As soon as the door opened, the grin widened, he scraped a quick bow and extracted the first of the envelopes holding it out only to snatch it away as soon as Rauru's plump fingers almost twitched it from his grasp.

It was one of the more annoying habits the postman. Somehow he had developed the idea that because a letter had at one time been in his possession, it was his goddess-given right to be privy to the contents of the said letter. It was a perk of his job, he thought, and it gave him an incredible amount of insight into his fellow Hylians' lives and a good deal of information for blackmailing them later. Hence the reason for his happy grin. He was on to a winner with two thick envelopes full of juicy intrigue addressed for the personal attention of the three Hylian Judges.

His finger was cocked under the red seal of the first letter, ready to ping it open with a satisfying little crunch noise as the wax and paper separated however Rauru knew his tricks and he made a lunge. Seeing that his prize was about to be stolen from him, the postman shrieked and danced out of the way. But Rauru had a hold on his prize and, like the postman, he was not going to let go. A tussle commenced.

"Give me my mail." Demanded Rauru, dragging one way.

"But I want to read it."Wailed the postman, pulling in the opposite direction with equal vigour. It was a testament to the paper that it withstood the abuse so far.

"It's not yours." Tug.

"Yes it is!" Pull.

"How can it be yours when it's addressed to me?" Shove.

"If it's in my hands, its mine." Snatch.

"Do you know who I am?" Grab.

"Yes, a meanie who won't let me read private mail in peace." Ominous tearing noise.

The argument grew louder and louder and probably would have resulted in a rather unfortunate fate befalling the two precious letters, had the tiff not been suddenly and violently interrupted by a hundred pounds of girl-meat slamming into the middle of them, her arms, hair and legs flailing magnificently. The momentum sent all of them (including the hapless letters) flying. The girl was heard muttering obscenities to herself as she spat the dirt from her mouth. The postmaster, was about to snatch the two letters back and claim victory (because nobody was interested enough to correct him) when a fourth person joined the fray. The tall youth, conspicuously clean and neat, seemed curiously disinterested in the fate of the girl, instead of helping her to her feet, he stooped down and claimed the letters for himself.

His bright blue eyes scanned the name of the addressee and then he looked at the postman. The postman's inane (and slightly scary) grin appeared again. Against feeble (and crazy) old men, he was game for a spot of wrestling the post from their hands, but against such a tall and well built youngster, he decided that a dignified retreat would be in order. He helped first the beautiful young lady to her feet, politely ignoring the string of profanities that spilled endlessly from her lips, and then helped Rauru with the air of one who was doing a neighbourly act.

"That'll be ten rupees." He announced. The youth smiled peacefully and handed the mail to Rauru. He nodded a 'good day' to the postman, grabbed the girls arm and marched her indoors. The door was pushed to behind them.

"Oh well, it was worth a shot. Good day." The postman sighed and then tipped his cap in Rauru's direction. He felt a little deflated. Given the excellent, efficient service he provided, he did sometimes wonder why he never received a tip.

Considering that he had just won a battle, Rauru paid little attention to his prize. His ears were trained on an argument going on just behind the door. Unlike the postman, he knew the identity of the young girl and the youth who had interrupted, and ended, his battle for his mail, but he was confused by their behaviour. In all the years he had known Zelda, he had never before heard her swear so eloquently and at such length. He was rather impressed. She was not swearing now and her voice was lowered to a throbbing whisper. He could only make out the odd phrase such as "Stupid body...all your fault...I want to die..." The phrases were interlaced with a glorious amount slanderous and insulting nouns describing her companion's deprived character.

He heard Link chuckle and then Zelda retorted something about scissors and a Biggoron-sized apple pie. The chuckles went quiet and the next moment, Zelda sprinted from the house once more with Link in pursuit. Though he was faster than her, she was more agile and could easily out-manoeuvre him around corners and over walls. They were out of sight in less than a minute. Rauru smiled sentimentally and thought of wedding bells, and Impa's fury. That happy thought dampened his mood considerably and he remembered the letters. "I wish I could escape from her too." He thought as he ambled back indoors.

* * *

Rauru managed to get about an hours further slumber in before Impa returned home. She had been visiting some of her contacts in Castle Town, and had taken Kru with her. Her arrival coincided with that of Link and Zelda's return. Zelda's hair was suspiciously straggly and Link looked sublimely furious. Of the promised scissors and apple pie there was no sign. Impa was pleased to see that her two charges were apparently not on speaking terms again (they had over the last few days dithered between loving and loathing one another – Impa preferred and thus promoted the latter state). The two seemed to realise simultaneously that Impa was watching them again. Link blushed and Zelda rolled her eyes and they slipped away as unobtrusively as possible.

Impa watched them with an odd look in her eyes, and continued to stare at the spot where they had stood until Rauru accidentally remarked that there was something very fishy going on with Zelda. As this remark was directed at Kru, he did not at first see the glare cast in his direction from a pair of red eyes. Kru foolishly agreed and added that the girl seemed to be losing the plot, what with locking herself in her room, predicting her death, swearing at Link and generally behaving in a most unladylike manner.

Impa's left eye started to twitch. Zelda was her personal charge. Only she had the absolute right to cast dispersions on her ward's character. Rauru and Kru were treading on very thin ice. Unfortunately, they did not remember Impa's rather startling maternal instinct when it came to protecting Zelda's reputation until she softly dared Kru to 'to repeat that comment'. Kru's mouth closed with an audible pop and he winced. Disaster was only averted when Rauru happily remembered the letters that had been delivered. This was enough to divert her attention.

There were two letters. One was instantly recognisable to the judges and all three shared a moment of unity as they indicated their exasperation. Sometimes they wondered why they had chosen Aganhim to be the next King of Hyrule. Still, they had made that particular bed, and they would lie in it (or at least they would until a better option came along). None of them wanted to open the letter particularly. Hideous memories of the last correspondence received from the wizard filled their minds. Rauru was very tempted to consign the note to the fire. Sheer politeness prevented this course of action. With some trepidation his fingers broke the seal...

All three judges sighed with relief when the paper opened. There were no songs this time. The last letter he had sent had actually been a sort of enchanted singing telegram that sang "I know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves. I know a song..." so loudly and inexhaustibly, that Impa had been forced to shred it to tiny pieces and burn it and then stamp on the ash then scatter it into the wind (even then faint echoes of the refrain drifted on the breeze for some time). There was no musical accompaniment this time, although the paper was enchanted so that the letter read itself aloud (in a similar manner to the method the postman liked to adopt). Unfortunately, as it was penned and narrated by Aganhim, its contents were rather long winded. It began:

_My Dearest Judges, the Esteemed Rauru, the Eternally Regal Impa, and Kru...the...uh...other Judge, Greetings. I trust that the day finds you in good health and spirits, if it does not it is doubtless the cause of this dreadful and illegal Kingship currently proclaimed in all Hyrule as being the Reign of King Ganondorf. King! Hah, the very notion of that heathen as a King is a mockery of all Hyrule holds dear. Why I..._

The letter continued in a similar vein for two or three pages, procrastinating on the evils of a Gerudo Wizard and the benefits of a rule a good, kind, wise read ancient and slightly insane Wizard-King would bring the nation. It was not surprising then that the minds of the Judges switched themselves off. In fact, it crossed Rauru's mind at various points of the pointless narrative that he would much rather heard the "Get On Your Nerves..." song, although this letter and the song had much in common.

It was only after about half an hour of waffling that Aganhim decided to get to the point of his endless missive, namely that he had "_found further information pertaining to the Chameleon Stone and deemed it worthy enough for their esteemed attention. It appears that the Free Sword, namely the one calling himself Link, is far less innocent than he appears to be. Apparently he was actually a rather significant figure in the late King-whatever his name was-court. It is common knowledge-_" Wrote Aganhim _"-that his name was granted to him through a ceremony, I was not before clear on how this impacted on his nature as a Calatian Knight...It seems that the Chameleon Stone was his responsibility...he was privy to its secrets and should know the whereabouts of the Dream Snatchers – key to the unlocking of the Stone's power._

"_Had Calatia not been overthrown by Hyrule as she was, then he would have been commissioned to come to Hyrule to seek out the keys to unlock it. Now Calatia is no more, it is surely the key to reviving that once great nation. The task of the Free Sword, is to restore Lefestra, the first sorcerer King, to his rightful throne. If he is still travelling with your delightfully beautiful ward, then she is in great peril (I would recommend handing her over to me for her protection). But I digress, Link will have no use for her once he has unlocked the power of the Chameleon Stone. The lovely Zelda is the only one who can unlock the Chameleon Stone, I believe it is something to do with a certain ritual spell only she can perform._

_The reasonable course of action would be to dispose of this 'Link' without further delay. However, that is not a feasible option, he has ensured that. Zelda has been cursed. Without Link's aid, she will not be able to defeat the Dream Snatchers, thus unlocking the 'Stone, and if she does not unlock the 'Stone, she will be condemned to live in eternal darkness of mind and soul. I am sure, if you question the 'Free Sword' he will tell you all about this (you might have to use a little persuasion though)._

_It would also seem, although my sources are a little vague about this, that the title Free Sword was only ever bestowed on one other man – Lefestra – creator of the Chameleon Stone. I would not wish to alarm you either, but I should add at this point that the names bestowed on Calatian Knights are 'family names'. I would not wish to raise such a horrendous possibility, given that you are aware of Zelda's own prestigious heritage, but there is a slim chance that Link is actually related to the Ruling Class of Calatia and therefore might not actually be the filth that we imagined him to be. Or at least his blood, though a blackened heart still beats in his chest, may be more blue than peasant red. This dismaying news can only be compounded with thoughts of the true depths of depravity of what that once glorious family much have sunk to spawn such an unholy idiot as that one..."_

The letter rambled on for some more time, growing more and more irate in its tone, and less and less coherent. Impa gave up listening after five more minutes, and after only one glance in Rauru's direction, Agamhim's letter had been scrunched up into an impossibly small ball, and was stamped on by a Sheikah boot until it was flat again. Either the letter had come to its natural end, or Impa's fury had counteracted the magic in the paper, for the voice faltered and then fell silent. It took a good hour, and three pots of tea (and a plate of macaroons) before the judges could face looking at their next piece of correspondence.

They were surprised to discover it came from King Ganondorf. They rarely had any dealings with him, despite him being their monarch. The letter was short and sweet, merely advising them that they had better hurry up and proclaim him as Rightful King of Hyrule by the time the next full moon rose, otherwise he would have no choice but to become a Tyrant. He delighted to inform them that he still had the Chameleon Stone in his possession and was on his way to visit Aganhim, that fool, to find out exactly how he could use it. He ended the letter with a few threats against them, and Zelda (of course) and signed it as their ever benevolent sweetheart of a King, Ganondorf.

"Charming." Said Impa, consigning the letter to the fire. "Well, now what? Which problem shall we tackle first – the Idiot King or the Idiot Calatian?"

Rauru shrugged. In his opinion, both men were as dangerous as the other. At least with Ganondorf they knew where they stood. Link was a wild card and if Aganhim was to be believed, he was the greater threat. He said as much to Impa.

"Yes, but which is the greatest threat to Hyrule?" Wondered Impa.

Fortunately for her musing, it was just at this moment that Link himself wandered into the kitchen. He ignored the judges completely. Impa glared as he ambled past and called his name. Link ignored this too. Of course, Link was not actually Link, but Zelda in his body and Link's body had decided that it had an uncontrollable hunger that only bread and cheese would satisfy. Although her experience at walking in Link's shoes was not quite as traumatic as Link's experience of being a girl, she was not really enjoying herself. For a start, Link's body was hyperactive. It could not sit still for more than a minute, which was torture for a girl who loved quiet contemplation. Secondly, she found herself becoming obsessed with dangerous pursuits and rather naughty thoughts. She also had walked into a groin-height chair by accident. She would never forget that pain. And Link's body seemed to require a constant supply of food.

On the plus side, she had managed to make a few changes to Link's appearance that suited her. His hair was shorter and neater now, and his clothes were beautifully matched. His nails had been polished (but fortunately for the real Link, not painted) and his eyebrows plucked. And then there was the rare moments when she accidentally touched his stomach muscles, she would catch herself guiltily in the act and blush furiously but did not deny that they were nice to touch. She caught herself again as that thought crossed her mind. She did not like Link in that way, she told herself as she deliberately moved her hands away from herself, she should remember that.

Suddenly she felt a slap on the back of her head. She swung around and found herself facing Impa. The Sheikah judge was glaring up at her, hand ready to slap again.

"Is something the matter?" Asked Zelda, giving the hand a wary look.

"Yes, you ignorant oaf!" Snapped Impa. "Do not ignore your superiors for a start. I called your name three times and you did not respond."

"I..." Zelda sighed and realised that she probably had forgotten that she was supposed to answer when people called 'Link'. "Sorry." She muttered.

"Humph. Sit down, boy."

Force of habit made Zelda take the proffered stool without a word. The judges were slightly bemused by Link's docility and the way he folded his hands in his lap, crossed (and then swiftly uncrossed his legs with a wince) and then gave them his polite attention with a slight incline of his golden haired head. Were he not a man, and therefore absurd looking in such a pose, he would have looked rather like a well bred, but bashful, princess.

Rauru glanced at Impa, expecting to see her glowering at him, for it was common knowledge that the Sheikah woman disliked Link greatly. But she was not glaring. To Rauru, she appeared to be puzzled and a little suspicious. The next second, the odd look vanished, replaced by an exasperated grimace, apparently caused by the way Link had suddenly grinned at her and asked, in the most innocent manner, whether she had been sucking lemons again.

Impa was privately glad that Zelda had not been around to see the look that passed across Link's face as he spoke. The way the amusement danced in his contrasted with the angelic innocence of his smile in such a way that even she, who disliked him so much, was not entirely impervious to his charm. She almost smiled back but stopped herself in time.

"Impa, what is the matter? You look so angry. Has something upset you?" Came Link's voice. The words were delivered with none of his trademark cheek but with a depth of sincerity that could not have been faked. It made the odd look flash in Impa's eyes again and she gave him an uncomfortably close look.

"Ah..." Began Impa, dazzled by an absurd thought that had just crossed her mind. Realising that she was staring at Link a little too closely, she quickly rallied her thoughts and schooled her face back in to its familiar glare. "Are you aware that Ganondorf has the Chameleon Stone?" She asked.

"No...does he?" Stammered Zelda. She had not known that but had the feeling that Link, the real Link, did know. Or at least, that Impa expected the real Link to know that fact. "Er...so..."

"So?" Impa's eyebrows shot up and her eyes flashed. "Is that all you can say, fool? SO? You tell me what that means!"

"I...uh...don't...don't really know." Admitted Zelda, ducking her head and playing with the sleeves of her tunic. "Is it bad?"

"BAD!!" Impa clenched her fists and visibly made an effort to control herself. Zelda cringed in her chair. "You are the Calatian on a quest to recover the damned thing! Don't think you can get away with playing the fool with me, boy! Your game is up! I know all about your little charade."

Zelda blanched at this. She wondered how on earth Impa had figured out the dreadful truth. She and Link had been diligent about avoiding the Sheikah judge where possible. How could she have found out what she had done? "P-pretence?" Whispered Zelda, looking at everything but Impa. "I d-don't know what you are t-talking about."

"I am talking about _this_!" Shouted Impa, grabbing Aganhim's scrunched up letter and trusting it into Link's face. Had she known that Link was actually her charge in disguise, she might not have tried to break his nose at the same time. As it was, Zelda yelped, and scrambled to fight of the parchment that was threatening to suffocate her. Eventually Impa let go, and stalked off to the other side of the room. Zelda looked at the seal and frowned. "I thought you never read letters from Aganhim?" She asked, forgetting for a moment that Link would not have known that. Impa swung around, red eyes flashing again, Zelda gulped and stammered an excuse: "I mean, Zelda told me you don't read 'em, ha ha."

"Just read the note." Sighed Impa. She watched closely as Link read the letter, noting how his cheeks flushed in annoyance and how he bit his lip. "'Link...is far less innocent than he appears to be..." Read Zelda, aloud. "Why can't Aganhim talk and write like a normal person?" She asked.

"Because it makes him feel special." Replied Impa, with a very rare smile.

Zelda soon grasped the concept of the extremely long missive. Her friend Link – the man who had her body and was currently lounging in bed prophesying his own imminent demise, was a liar. The letter fell to her lap and her fists clenched tightly, her cheeks were very pale. She had trusted Link and had liked him and could hardly grasp the fact he had used her – was using her to get the Chameleon Stone back.

"Well...?" Asked Impa sternly. "Care to enlighten us on what you're really playing at, Link?"

Zelda gazed at her guardian for a long moment, she hardly noticed that Rauru and Kru had been dismissed. She could hear the blood pounding in her ears and knew that at any moment, she was going to snap, whether through rage or disappointment. She took a couple of deep breaths. "That idiot. Why didn't he tell me...?" She muttered.

"Pardon?" The odd look was again writ on Impa's face.

"I will tear him limb from limb." Vowed Zelda, forgetting the act she was supposed to be playing. "That little swine! How could he do this to me? He is-was my f-friend..."

Had she cared to look at that moment in time, Zelda would have seen a look so incredibly and incredulously furious pass across Impa's face that it would have made even the real Link cower. The red eyes narrowed dangerously and her left eye twitched compulsively. It took a moment for Zelda's senses to pick up on the bad vibes skimming across the air in her direction. She glanced up at Impa and bit her lip and then looked back at her hands.

An awful silence spread across the kitchen. Even the merry cackling of the fire seemed distant and cold. Impa's lips were pursed together tightly and she appeared to be holding back a massive force. Zelda could easily guess what it was. It was the judge that broke the silence. Her voice was low and did justice to the cold fury that was burning her blood. "Zelda?"

'Link's' head bowed low and a noise, suspiciously like a sob, broke from his lips.

"Zelda?" Repeated Impa, a little kinder.

"Uh-huh."

Had she not been crying at this moment, Zelda would have witnessed something nobody had ever seen before – Impa's eyes were full of pity and a sympathetic smile played on her lips. "What happened?" She asked, a little sternly. Something, whether it was the sight of Zelda's tears marring Link's cheeks or just the absurdity of the situation, prompted Impa to restrain her annoyance. She listened as Zelda told the broken story of how she and Link had accidentally traded bodies. Impa managed to keep calm throughout this recital, and only remarked at the end, "Well I hope you have learned to be more careful what you wish for."

Zelda nodded and sniffed pitiably.

Impa sighed a long sigh and looked out of the window. Keeping her temper in check was so difficult for her, but she that getting angry at Zelda would not resolve anything. Getting mad at Link, however-

"I think am going to visit our little invalid..." decided Impa.

"I'm coming too."

* * *

If there was one thing Link knew well, it was the art of self-preservation. He slipped into an adjoining room and waited for Impa and Zelda to pass. He glanced one last time at his body – his faithful, beautiful body that he loved so much, and almost betrayed a sigh. As they climbed the stairs, whispering murder and retribution to one-another, he slipped off towards the kitchen and clambered silently out of the window.

The sheikah outfit he wore lent itself to stealth and shadows, and Zelda's body was slender enough (despite him discovering that she had a chocolate addiction which he did not hesitate in giving in to) for him to slip into small gaps and narrow passageways.

Aganhim was correct. His sole purpose in life was to break the curse of the Chameleon Stone. That was why he had come to Hyrule in the first place. He had listened to the reading of Aganhim's letter in its entirety and had chuckled at some parts, and sighed at others. Whilst Aganhim's information had been correct, his insight was not so accurate. Link's reasons for wanting to unlock the Chameleon Stone were not centred around restoring a nation but saving the life of just one person.

As he slipped out of Kakariko Village in his stolen blue and white sheikah gear, he wondered if Zelda would ever come close to understanding why he had never told her the real truth about himself. Or whether she would ever realise that there was something that he was afraid of. He did not look back as he wandered down towards Hyrule Field. He whistled for his horse (the same horse the Ranch girl had given him, which was still roaming the field awaiting his call since being abandoned near the lost woods). It came trotting up in a matter of moments.

It was only about half an hour later as he was nearing his destination that he realised he was forgetting something rather important. He had left Amber behind.

Link's curse was almost as loud as the angry shriek that had escaped Impa's lips when she realised he had vanished.

* * *

Sorry it wasn't a great chapter. By the way, the post man was not the cameo I was talking about. All will become clear in the next chapter. Which I am determined to post in less than two weeks. Best get writing then...

Bye for now XX


	24. An Unexpected Encounter

Yay, I've updated before my two week deadline! I'm also a lot happier with this chapter than the last although my work is still not up to scratch...hmmm.. anyway, I hope you enjoy it. And thank you **Link's Ocarina Babe, RutoLover, ADD Kyuubi Naruto, Super Goat Grl, QuinKilo1055, tinglehater, SSBMgirl and I.K.A.Valian **for your reviews and your support. Pat yourselves on the back for being such lovely people!! And I hope you like the Ocarina of Time cameo(s)... (giggles to self...) ENJOY!!

* * *

Chapter Twenty Four – An unexpected encounter

The river was wide, deep and crystal clear, its banks were grassy and wide, marking a steep course that led up the mountain towards the Zora Domain. The ice cold water gushed merrily over boulders and danced along its course, tossing up spray and gurgling its song loudly. Hovering just above the surface, damson flies elegantly courted one another in view of the fish that lurked below the vitreous surface. Occasionally a dragon fly darted past in a flash of turquoise, or a bird trilled ecstatically from the branches of the trees that lined the opposite bank.

Away from the eddies that swirled at its centre, the river flowed smoothly, nary a ripple disturbing its glassy surface. It was here, in amongst the tallest reeds, that Link had been bathing. He was beginning to understand the limitations of Zelda's body and also its strengths and had also, although he would not admit to it, acquired a modicum of modesty. Whether this was Zelda's body acting in self-defence, or a new found mystery made clear to him, but he no longer liked the idea of people spying on him when he was naked (in his 'Link' body he had found the idea rather entertaining). He rubbed the bruises on his bare arms and shivered as gazed into the smooth surface, peering into the deep blue eyes that did not belong to him and sneezed.

"I hate being you." Muttered Link, rubbing his nose and moving away from the reflection of his unhappy blue eyes. He was missing his body. His body, he was quite sure, did not get so damned cold at night. His body could jump into freezing water without feeling like a thousand needles had just slammed into him. His body did not feel that it was in desperate need of a an embrace to recover its spirits. He decided that were he in his own, perfectly delightful body, he would not feel so terribly lonely.

He pulled his sheikah armour back on with some effort. His fingers were numb with cold and his legs were trembling with fatigue. After stopping over in Castletown the night before, he had ridden on from first light to the Zora River and had spent the afternoon trekking up the rather steep path towards the waterfall. He was exhausted and the impromptu bath he had taken had almost resulted in his being swept back down the Zora river. And then he had encountered an octorok and had only realised he couldn't defeat it with his current weaponry ten minutes after trying to volley its attacks with a dagger.

He had been forced to admit defeat and had moved his camp to a spot ten yards away. The Octorok had been satisfied with this and apart from popping its enormous purple head out of the water every hour or so to check the impertinent human was keeping away from its territory, it had let him be. This left Link alone with his thoughts, which were not very pleasant.

He had run away rather than face Zelda, he could not explain to her why he wanted to unlock the power of the Chameleon Stone, and if he could not offer a reasonable excuse for his actions, then she would believe Aganhim's word. Impa, of course, would encourage her to believe the worst about him and by leaving as he had, he would have confirmed that false belief anyway. He just wished he had remembered to take Amber with him. He had hoped to escape to a place where he could not be found again, and planned to help Zelda from the shadows, but having Amber at large detracted from this mission.

Amber had a remarkable talent for finding him.

He had ridden as much as possible and hoped that this would fool his pet for some time, but if she happened to come near the Zora River, she would pick up his scent immediately. There was no way he could ride the horse up that treacherous path so he had been forced to abandon his steed at the river's mouth. Zelda would recognise the horse, and would realise where he had gone. She was not a fool, even though she was trapped in his foolish body.

There was only one thing he could do: continue. He felt his body groan at the thought. Not only was there the octorok to contend with, but the path got narrower and steeper the higher he climbed. Zelda's body was telling him, quite firmly, that it had had enough, but there was no choice, he had to go on. He tried to imagine away the sharp pain in his limbs as he stood again and stretched. A pang of guilt hit him, not for the first time either, he remembered all those times when he had chided Zelda for complaining she was tired, or when he had grinned when she had tripped with exhaustion. Now he could understand why she had not always been able to keep up with him, and admired her more than ever for the times she had kept going without complaint. He decided that if he ever saw her again, he would apologise.

The possibility of seeing her again was slim, in his opinion, and even if he should meet her, she would not allow him chance to talk. She probably hated him more than ever now. He sighed and wound his white scarf around his face obscuring his nose and chin. Had he cared to look in the water, he would have seen his reflection was more boyish now. He might also have noticed the pair of dark eyes that watched him from the opposite bank.

* * *

The path grew steadily wetter and dangerous as it followed the sharp, twisting course of the Zora river. More times than he cared to count, he had slipped over and banged his knees, once he fell into a tree and cut his forehead. The river was wilder here, it seemed that the closer to the source it was, the more it tried to dominate the landscape it ran through. Many times streams and pools of water converged on the muddy path, and at one point he had to cross the raging torrent to the opposite bank. The stepping stones towered about a metre out of the water and were set wide apart but even they had been licked by the raging river. As a result they were slimy and slippery. Leaping from one to the other, over such a fast moving, deep river, was not exactly Link's idea of fun.

It had taken him a long time to recover his breath after he made it to the other side. But he was nearing the river's source – the huge waterfall that was fed by the eternally melting snows on the nearby mountains. The noise of the fall, even from where he was, some distance away, was deafening and made the ground tremble softly. Somewhere beyond the waterfall lay the domain of the Zora people, and somewhere in there, a Dream Snatcher was hidden.

Given that he usually crossed bridges when he came to them, Link had decided that he would worry about defeating the Dream Snatcher if and when he found him. For now, he had to climb up the sheer cliff face up to the Zora's Domain and seek sanctuary within their walls. That was easier said than done.

It was whilst he was contemplating the unpleasant climb ahead of him, wondering how he could make it in Zelda's body without falling (he had already established that her muscles were not used to rock climbing, and therefore objected to such activities) when he became aware of a presence near him.

He immediately went into alert mode, one hand hovered over his dagger, the other rested on the ground, he was like a coiled snake – ready to spring into action at a moments notice.

He almost jumped out of his skin when an icy cold hand rested on the exposed skin of his neck. As he was in Zelda's body, the shriek he made did not sound altogether out of place, but it made his companion chuckle. He had sprung to his feet, dagger drawn, body poised in an attacking pose, his back to his opponent. He swung around and as his eyes met those of his companion's, he dropped his dagger and froze in place.

A pair of deep black eyes than shone with golden undertones watched him critically. A wicked smile played in the corners of her ruby red mouth, and she absently twirled a strand of her long, black hair in her fingers. "Well met, Zelda." She said, her rich voice echoing above the din of the water.

Link gulped and opened and closed his mouth, fish-fashion, attempting to respond, but he discovered that his tongue had suddenly become stuck to the roof of his mouth and the only noise he could make was an odd gargling sound. He had never seen anything quite like the Goddess Saeru before.

The goddess's smile became more pronounced as she took in his confounded stare and she giggled. "Or should that be...Link?" She murmured. She took a step back into a more sheltered spot under the sparse branches of a pine tree and beckoned him forward.

Link found his legs were going to obey her with or without his consent and found himself compelled towards her. She grinned again and sat down, her crimson skirts spread across the grass like darkness spreading over the night sky. He took his place at her side, carefully avoiding touching even the fringe of her dress and watched her warily.

"Oh, do not look so worried, Link." Laughed Saeru. "I thought you have been trained to fear nothing."

Link could only goggle at her, he could quite easily imagine himself drowning in those endless black eyes and getting tangled in her wonderfully silky hair. His thoughts of Zelda seemed to be fleeing from his mind.

"Ah, I see - you are not afraid," Saeru nibbled the tip of a finger and tilted her head at him, smirking as she saw his eyes open even wider. "You are fascinated. Given your current guise I would say that such a look does not become you."

"You...are..." Gasped Link, desperately trying to gather his wits.

"Saeru." She answered coolly. "And you are Link, or if I were to be more accurate – you are Lefestra reborn. I have been watching you closely."

"You have?" Link seemed incapable of uttering more than two words at once and even then it was difficult.

"Yes." She smiled impishly at him and lowered her gaze to her fingers. "You are an odd creature. I wonder what game it is you are playing. Be assured though, whatever game it is, I will win. Your father may have been capable of stopping me, but he could not destroy me and I assure you, you will never be half the magician he was."

"I...don't..." Stammered Link.

"Wish to destroy me?" Saeru finished his sentence calmly, if not a little scornfully. "Of course you wish to destroy me. That is the only way you think you can save your little friend and restore your homeland. You know what will happen if you fail – she and I will swap places . I will return to the Overworld, she will sink into the Underworld. It is only fair. Lefestra took away what mattered to me so I shall take away what matters to him."

"Yes, but I'm not Lefestra." Said Link, secretly delighted that he'd managed to construct a sentence. He felt as if his reeling mind was beginning to right itself once again.

"No. You are Link." Saeru smiled irritatingly and her eyes flashed. "However, you are a direct descendant of Lefestra, have had the same life experiences, have the name Free Sword bestowed on you and share the same spirit of adventuring. Your circumstances and nature are too similar to be a coincidence. You may be able to hide your true nature and intentions from lesser creatures but I am a divine being, Link!"

"Yeah, goddesses do tend to be divine beings." Agreed Link, with a grin. "Fine, so you have me sussed out, do you? He leaned back against a tree, watching her lazily and asked cheekily, "Well what are you going to do about it? If you know who I am and my ancestry then you'll know what I am supposed to do to you but what you don't know is what I actually _will _do. You are a goddess of dreams, not of divination. You hope to scare the truth out of me, but you yourself said that I have been trained to be fearless. Just exactly how do you scare a man who has no fear?

Saeru seemed a little nonplussed by this question. She stared at him, peering deeply into his eyes, her own eyes narrowed slightly and her mouth twisted into a grimace. After a pause she answered, her voice was low and threatening "Nobody is completely fearless. I will discover your weakness."

"Good luck with that." Said Link, his confidence growing as he argued. It reminded him of his sparring matches with Impa, and he always enjoyed his verbal encounters with the sour-natured judge. Saeru stared right through him, and he had the sudden feeling that she was tearing through his very soul, her gaze burned right through to his heart. Her eyes gleamed bright gold and then suddenly she blinked and the searing pain vanished. He caught his breath and then looked up at her, a little confused and angry.

Saeru was grinning wickedly, "I know your secret." She sang. "You are afraid of one thing – how pathetic. You assure me you are not like Lefestra, your forefather, but I know you are. You have exactly the same weakness he did. Shall I tell you?"

Link glared at her, daring her to continue.

"Your heart is your weakness. Or in your case, Zelda is your weakness." She announced triumphantly. Her grin broke into a wild giggle and her dark hair waved and twirled as though lifted by a soft breeze. She saw the confirmation on Link's face and stroked a cold hand across his cheek. "Oh don't worry, silly boy. I will only use this information against you, I will not harm her...yet." She grinned to herself and stood up, "You men are all the same. Show you a pretty, defenceless woman, and you go to jelly. You are not on this stupid quest for the glory of your nation but for the love of her. How very noble of you."

"It is rather, isn't it?" Agreed Link, deciding that his best course of action was to brazen this horrible situation out with all the charm and impudence he was capable of. He wasn't afraid of Saeru, but what she could and would do to Zelda. The goddess smiled cruelly and touched his cheek with a cold finger. The motion made him shiver.

"You fear for her safety, for her welfare...for her heart." She murmured, her finger sliding down to his lips. She smiled again and brought her other hand up to cradle his cheek. Her eyes glowed a deep gold colour as they rested on his. "Of course, I could make your dreams about her come true..." She whispered. Her smile widened as she saw the thought take hold in Link's eyes. "Would that not be a wonderful thing for you. If you choose to assist me, then I will give you what you always wanted: your little farm, with enough gold to live on and a dear little wife by your side."

Her words reminded Link of his thoughts when he had first read that notice posted by the Hylian Judges. Back then he had sought a simple life away from the desert in the soft hills of Hyrule. He had not forgotten his vows made to his King, it had been his job to protect the Chameleon Stone, and when it was stolen, it was his job to recover it and use its powers to restore his homeland. Link gazed up at Saeru, her power was the very lifeblood of Calatia. But Calatia no longer existed. Her soil was now classed as Hylian soil, her people had long since disbursed amongst her neighbours. According to what he had learnt from Impa, he was the last of the Knights alive who had served under King Osira.

As if reading his thoughts, which she probably had, Saeru sighed softly and added, "Or I could do for you what I did for Lefestra, your forefather. I could make Calatia great again. All I ask is for your assistance."

"Assistance doing what?"

"I wish to be free." Answered Saeru. "I hate the darkness that Lefestra confined me to, I hate not feeling soil beneath my feet or wind in my hair. I hate not having the power to break my bonds. I hate being capable of only looking at the world through a mirror. Lend me your strength and I shall give you mine. I have learnt my lesson and I regret my former course. Is that not sufficient for you?"

"If it were true-" Link frowned and bowed his head. "If I helped you, would you lift the curse on Zelda?"

"Of course I would and I would free my hold on your nation forever, never to bother you again, but only after you had fulfilled your vow."

"And what vow is that?"

"Promise to destroy the one who holds my heart." Said Saeru, her eyes flashing gold again. "Destroy that one and return my heart to me and I shall leave this world forever. Promise you will do this and I will give you mastery over my power."

Link sighed "That's all well and good, but I am currently in Zelda's body. How does that help me now? As you said, I'm no sorcerer."

Saeru grinned wickedly and moved her hands so that they were tangled in Links hair. She leaned forward and whispered in his ear, "With me you can do anything..." She sat back and smiled. "Do we have a deal?"

"...I suppose..."

"Excellent." Said Saeru, standing up and shaking out her long skirts. She grinned at him. "The first thing I suggest we do is lose that ridiculous body of yours."

"Great, does that mean I can finally be me again?"

Saeru rolled her eyes and replied with a hint of exasperation. "Have you learned nothing of your travels so far? Has Zelda been able to counteract the spell of one Signet Ring without finding another? No! The dream snatchers are unable to enchant themselves and the signet ring's have the same weakness. No, to reverse that spell you must defeat another Dream Snatcher. What you can do, which Zelda did not realise, is use more than one power at once." She pointed at the leather pouch tied to his waist, where the other two signet rings were hidden, "Use the Emerald of Oath to change the way your-no-Zelda's body looks."

Link was confused but obediently drew the emerald signet ring from the pouch and examined it. Memories of how he and Zelda had obtained the ring flashed in his mind and he almost could hear Tingles battle cry of 'Kooolu Limpah' on the breeze. He shuddered involuntarily and slipped the ring over his middle left finger. Nothing happened.

"You actually have to tell the ring what you would like it to do first." Muttered Saeru.

"Oh right." Link grinned at her and then thought of something. "Er, this isn't going to be permanent is it?"

"No. Once you have used a power once you can just take the ring off and the magic will be over. You can only do that because you are wearing another ring, though."

Link moistened his lips and closed his eyes. "I want a body that matches this outfit." He decided. There was a flash of white light, and a strange 'Ping' noise. Link opened his eyes slowly, something had changed, he could tell. He held his arms to his face – they were still clad in the blue and white Sheikah armour. The fringe of hair hanging before his right eye was still blond. He felt taller too, in fact he knew he was, for his eyes were level with Saeru's, and that would mean that he was more or less his usual height. And there was a distinct lack of weight on his chest which could only mean... he quickly checked his chest and sighed. Well the bosom had been nice whilst it had lasted. Still, it was nice to see his body had become comfortably male again, he had missed being a boy!

He smiled at Saeru and then suddenly realised that his cheek muscles in this form were not used to such display of emotion. He ran to the water's edge, noting that his step was light and powerful. He gasped as he saw what he had become. A chunk of blond hair fell over half his face, obscuring the left half of his face. His eyes were a deep crimson colour. His face, hidden by his mask and white scarf was eerily beautiful but strangely cold. His body seemed to be made of nothing but muscle and it made the Sheikah armour look like a second skin. Link felt himself grinning. "Man, I'm hot." He decided.

Saeru's face appeared next to his. Her eyes were gold coloured again and she was laughing at him. He glanced around but she was not there. Her reflection was coming up through the water, he realised. She blinked and smiled, as if bidding him farewell and then was carried off downstream by the current.

The world was silent once more.

* * *

In his new body, Link felt like he could actually jump up the cliff and reach the Zora domain. He even went as far as doing a couple of practise hops, only stopping when he smacked the top of his head against a nearby branch. Still this version of Zelda could jump pretty high, he noted. The version of Zelda was also a bundle of suppressed energy. He wasn't even panting after sprinting up hill for at least a hundred metres. And his voice was pleasantly calm and low.

Even though he had decided against hopping up the sheer cliff-face, Link was climbing with a decided spring in his step as he clambered up the side of the waterfall. He even whistled a little ditty to himself. He was enjoying himself so much that he was almost disappointed when he reached the top in record time.

He pulled himself onto a ledge and looked about him. The river feeding the waterfall rushed past his right side. It's course was perfectly straight, and the channel it ran through was very deep. About ten paces away from the waterfall the river widened and became rather shallow. Link could see that it's course was artificial. It was fed from a large blue lagoon which filled the centre of the cave. The lagoon itself was fed by smaller waterfalls which poured over the sides and through the walls of the massive open-air chamber. At its head was another waterfall, which seemed to come from a room high up in the city. A small white path ran along side the edge of the river and right around the lagoon, at various points he could see caves jutting away from the path, leading to other areas within the city and one path actually spiralled around the whole chamber, leading up the room where the second waterfall came from.

As he moved away from the thunder of the waterfall, Link noticed how quiet and tranquil the air became. The chamber was filled with a light tinkling music, that echoed through the air. (He later found of that the music was created using a combination of a tiny waterfall, a waterwheel and the inside of a very large music box). The lagoon was teaming with many varieties of fish, some of which Link had never seen before and there were many Zora around. Most were swimming around effortlessly, some were sat on the rocks under the waterfalls. One or two children were chasing the fish.

Link had never seen anything so serene before. His feet hardly made a sound as wandered. The Zora that noticed him did not seem concerned with his presence. He could encounter the occasional stare from aquamarine eyes, or hear the odd whisper, but he saw that the Zora did not view him as a threat. Even the guards, clad in their fish scale armour, with cod-head helmets, were unconcerned. They merely advised him to go speak to the king if he wanted something. Link had the impression that the Zora were either very confident of their defences or were very ignorant of the ways of the world.

* * *

It took him little time to ascend to the highest chamber. The first thing he noticed was that security was much tighter here. For the first time that day, he was stopped by guards, had to explain his business (which he said was coming to pay his respects to the King) and then had to empty his pockets. Obviously the Zora had never come across a person like Link before. Naturally, his sheikah outfit did not have any pockets, but he had his knapsack with him. It was at least an hour (and two arguments about the correct name for a reedy-blowy-notey-makey-thing) before he had sated the curiosity of the Zora enough for them to grant him access to the throne room.

The second thing Link noticed was the hot spring that bubbled up from the centre of this chamber. It looked rather appealing but was swarming with so many Zora that he decided against his initial impulse to dive right in. He also noticed that a lot of the Zora were whispering behind their hands and watching him. Link didn't mind being the centre of attention in the slightest, but this level of scrutiny made him feel a little uneasy. He did grin when he walked past a couple of Zora maidens and heard them sigh something about 'nice butt'.

His object in the Zora domain was to get access to the caves beyond the throne, the same caves where the Dream Snatcher Lukarn was said to have sought refuge in after being cursed. He hadn't quite decided how he was going to manipulate the Zora into granting him access to the caves.

He could see the king ahead. Portly wasn't quite the word for him. He was huge in all senses of the world and he looked like a giant cod. For a second Link wondered how on earth the Zora (notable for being rather attractive creatures) could have such a fright as their leader. And then he noticed something equally as scary. Next to the king, lilac hue eyes fixed intently on him was a Zora girl about his own age. Her nakedness was covered by a long blue robe (fortunately) and there was a definite blush on her cheeks. Her face was pretty, the set of her mouth wilful and her pose, hands on hips, head tilted back and legs slightly apart, was a classic 'tantrum' pose.

"Who are you?" Snapped the girl, her lilac eyes looking him slowly up and down.

"I am...er..." Link suddenly thought that to give his real name out would be a mistake. If he didn't want Zelda to find him, he couldn't call himself Link and as he was currently in a man's form, he couldn't call himself Zelda either. Not without people thinking he was insane anyway. It did not cross his mind that most people thought that he was insane anyway.

"Well out with it!" Almost shouted the girl, her eyes flashed.

"Sheikah." Shouted Link.

"I can see that is what you are." Said the girl, her irritation clear on her face. "But what is your name?"

"Er...Sheik...Sheik...yeah that's it. Sheik. Sheik of the Sheikah."

The Zora girl looked him up and down again very slowly, focussing for a long time on his chest area (he noticed she was smirking) before turning to her father and announcing loudly. "He'll do."

"I'll do what exactly?" Asked Link. The Zora girl swung to face him, a slightly twisted smile on her face. "You are to have the absolute honour, no, privilege of my hand in glorious, eternal and holy matrimony."

"WHAT?!"

"You and I are going to get married. Isn't that great!" She giggled.

Link took one horrified look at her, turned on his heels and ran.

* * *

Hehe, I hope you liked the chapter, and don't worry if you like Ruto, I won't be too evil to her. There's a method to my usual madness... oh and also, tell me if you like Link as Sheik! And I hoped you understood why Link decided to make a pact with Saeru.

I also realised, reading this back, at the beginning Ganondorf didn't have the Chameleon Stone. Slight faux pas on my behalf there...er anyway, from now on let's just say that it's in his possession although the Hylians were the ones who stole it in the first place. If anyone things it might be worthwhile, I will write a chapter explaining the history of the Lizard Pebble. Let me know. Anyway, I'll stop my rambling now. Bye XX


	25. Crazy Ladys

Thank you **ADD Kyuubi Naruto, la generala, Super Goat Grl, QuinKilo1055, Mysterygal3189, Booklover13 and Fallen Dragonfly **for your reviews. I am sure you know already what you are in for with this chapter. I've really enjoyed writing this chapter and I hope you enjoy it too.

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Five - Crazy Lady(s)

As escapes went, Link's efforts were pretty pathetic. Sure, Sheik's body possessed ninja like dexterity, balance and speed and indeed, he did manage to run up a wall, somersault over an roof beam and land in a classic kneeling pose all in the space of ten seconds. And yes, it was impressive. Link's problem, however, was his insatiable desire to show off.

Given the acrobatic feat he had just demonstrated, a sane person would be content to sit atop that silvery beam, gloating and grinning down on his would be captors. Alas, Link could not claim complete sanity as one of his virtues. He just had to cavort along the beam, cartwheeling, flipping and walking on his hands, just to show the Fish Princess Ruto how great he was.

It certainly rattled her cage. She stood underneath the beam where he was practising his gymnastics and glared at him. "Please come down, Sheiky." She begged, cajoling him with her eyes.

"No!" Retorted Link, hanging upside down from his knees.

"Please?"

"Not a chance!"

"GET DOWN HERE NOW!"

"Make me!" Said Link, sticking his tongue out whilst doing a one-handed hand stand with both kicked out above him. He grinned at Ruto and then...

PLOP!

Ruto squealed in delight. "Yay for giant Zora poking sticks!" She yelled, dancing around in a tingle-esque manner. She hugged the dutiful guard who had butted Link off his perch, mid-pose, with the blunt end of his spear. Ruto clapped her hands and turned to her father, "See, I told you arming the guards with Poking Sticks would come in handy, teehee!" Her cod-like father nodded his head wisely and indicated his approval of the guard by clapping his flipper-like hands together loudly. "Ger-guugglle-sniggle-plock?" Asked the Zora King.

"Has Sheiky drowned? Oh no, he'll be fine. Guards!" Ruto patted her father's head and skipped back to the pond to watch the recovery operation. She was giggling still.

Fortunately for Link, his posing platform had been situated directly above the deep hot spring that bubbled in the centre of the throne room (which incidentally was actually rather cold – too hot and the fish-like Zora would have found themselves served as a delicacy at the next royal feast alongside the Lobster). More fortunate still, his fall was broken by the dozen or so self-sacrificing Zora that hadn't managed to swim out of his way in time. It was these same helpful individuals that had grabbed him and hauled – I mean – _helped_, him out of the pond and subsequently dragged – I mean aided his failing steps – back to his blushing fiancée's side.

Ruto sighed happily and hopped off the stone dais that served as her throne. "Aw you're even cuter when you're all wet, Sheiky." She purred as she threw herself on him, safe in the knowledge that twelve of her devoted followers were holding the hapless man firmly in place. The force of the impact almost knocked Link off his feet and he began to choke as Ruto bounced up and down with excitement, whilst dangling her self around his neck, yelling "Sheikeeeeeeeeeeeee! Sheikkkkkkkkkkkkeeeeeeeeee! I Loooooooooooooovvvvvvvve Sheiiiiiiiiikkkkkkkeeeeeeeeee" and then suddenly she stopped.

Amazed to find he could finally breath again, Link cautiously opened one eye. Ruto was stood a hair's breadth away from him, gazing adoringly at him. She grinned. "Oo, your eyes are so red and sparkly, Sheiky..." and then she puckered her lips.

Link made a valiant effort to escape, but against twelve Zora and one hyperactive princess intent on ravaging him, even his legendary skills could not help him escape. He began to wish his training for being a fearless knight had included how to deal with hormonal Zora Princesses.

"Bah, this stupid scarf won't come off!" Screamed Ruto, tugging ruthlessly at the white wrap that covered the lower half of his face. Apart from the fact that he was now being choked for the second time that day, Link thanked every god he could think of for that wonderfully impractical sheikah armour he wore. "Ah well," Said Ruto, giving the white scarf one final tug, which made Link choke, "I'll just kiss ya through it. Pucker up, husband..."

"Eep." He whispered, grimacing and screwing his eyes shut.

The world went quiet and then Ruto squealed again.

The next instant, all the arms holding him suddenly vanished, Ruto's included. Link dropped to the floor in an untidy heap, gasping for breath and hoping to wake up any moment from his nightmare. It took him a while for his disoriented (and rather shell-shocked) senses to right themselves. He groaned when he realised he hadn't by some miracle escaped Ruto's clutches. He was still in the Zora throne room. King Zora was still sat on his throne (sucking one of his hands by the looks of it) and the room was filled with excited chatter (and Ruto's loud exclamations of surprise). Link sluggishly raised his head to see what the commotion was. He blinked in surprise.

At the room's entrance were two people he had not expected to see. Nabooru and Ganondorf.

"Double Eep." Thought Link, contemplating running up another wall. He wasn't particularly afraid of Ganondorf, and it was unlikely either of them would recognise him as being Link. Well it was highly probable they wouldn't, given that he was currently in Zelda's alter-ego's body but they might recognise the sheikah gear. So the idea was he had to escape without being spotted.

'Ah, Deku Nuts!' Thought Link, remembering a lesson of his long forgotten youth. Sheikah used Deku Nuts to magically vanish into thin air. He had read it in a comic book once. The only problem with that was that he didn't have any with him and monsters were very good these days and never strayed into towns without permission. That was his one idea out the window then. He answered the problem in typical Link style. He said a very naughty word a little louder than he had intended.

He did not immediately notice that everybody had stopped talking, turned around and was staring at him, shocked that such a rude word could come out of such a nice looking boy. Even Ganondorf and Nabooru were staring at him as if they couldn't believe their ears. Only one person (besides the Zora King who was happy to have learn a new Hylian word and was repeating it to himself, sniggering) was not shocked. Ruto clasped her hands to her breast, her lilac eyes sparkled and the pupils went all big. "Oh, I love it when you talk dirty, Sheikykins."

"Sheikykins?" Ganondorf was momentarily distracted from his glaring by this endearment. He exchanged a glance with Nabooru and cast another look at 'Sheikykins'. They both smiled. "My dear Ruto..." He began, before being rudely interrupted by Ruto who objected loudly to him calling her dear (she was only dear to her darling Sheiky, only he could use such endearments from now on). "Whatever." Said Ganondorf, "I think you'll find that this 'boy' is actually a girl."

"W-H-A-T?"

"It is actually Zelda." Explained Ganondorf, ignoring the fatal look in Ruto's eyes and the way she was motioning to her guards to advance on him with Zora Poking Sticks at the ready. "Watch, I'll prove it! Nabs!"

His right hand woman bowed to him, making a few of the Zora men smirk, and slowly advanced on the hapless Link (although he visibly brightened up when he saw Nabooru approaching, this was because she was wearing an outfit that was only a quarter modest). She grabbed his wrist and dragged him to his feet.

"Now then..." She said, jerking his wrist so that his hand hovered over her breast.

Link couldn't help it. His hand was on reflex. Seeing so much bosom so inadequately covered and so close at hand he just had to have a little...touch... he smirked and murmured. "Nice Squidy-goodness."

"Okay, he's a boy." Snapped Nabooru, wrenching Link's hand away from her person and throwing him to the floor. She marched back to Ganondorf, cheeks slightly pink and her eyes flashing magnificently. Really the things she was forced to do...!

"Ooops, my mistake." Said Ganondorf, patting her shoulder consolingly. "Er, sorry Ruto. Hey wait, what am I apologising for? I am the King of Hyrule and I came here for a reason, not to establish whether your boyfriend was actually a boy. Although, it was a bit of a talk show moment...you know like 'Malon Lonlonlon', every weekday on Seeing Stone One at noon. How I love Malon. She's so pretty and sassy and smart and..."

"Sire, please..." Whispered Nabooru, poking him slightly in the ribs.

"...she really tells it like it is. My favourite bit after the arguments and chair throwing and security getting involved and the crying and making up and Malon giving them what for and telling it like it is, is the end of the show when they get the lie detector test results in, unless its a makeover show but those are just boring, I mean half the time they look worse, but anyway, then she stands there with the envelope and is all like 'okay folks, the results are in!' Sheik is a'...long pause for effect...'he was telling the truth he is a boy' see its just like today, or am I thinking of..."

"My Lord!" Muttered Nabooru, trying to catch his attention before he relapsed into a seeing-stone related dream.

"...that pilot episode of 'Lies and Fibs' where the hero is actually a girl but dressed up as a boy and then fell in love with a boy who liked boys so she had to pretend to be a boy so he'd like her still but then he turned out to be a girl who liked girls but then she couldn't remember if she was a girl or a boy and then they...

"GANONDORF!" Nabooru pinched his arm and he snapped back into the real world. He saw the sea of shocked faces before him and grinned sheepishly.

"King Ganondorf is going to explore the forbidden caves." Announced Nabooru, quelling the Zora's quiet laughter with glares all round. "You will grant us access and give us supplies and..."

"Gloop Gleeblee!" Exclaimed King Zora.

"What did he say?" Asked Nabooru.

"He said 'Why on earth would you want to explore those dingy old caves? There's nothing down there but that scary monster that's why we shut them off years ago." Explained Ruto kindly.

"That's why we're here." Said Ganondorf, sounding as if he was talking to a very stupid six year old. "You see we're after these special keys, apparently your monster has one. Aganhim told us so. With this key Aganhim is going to help me unlock a certain treasure I stole from the Calatians and once it is awakened, the goddess within shall give me her power and with it I will first destroy Hyrule, or at least I'll get rid of stupid Impa, and then I shall take over the world mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha...eep."

The eep noise that prematurely concluded his maniac laughter was thanks to Nabooru who felt he had said far too much about their plans really. She kicked him in the shin.

"What King Ganondorf means is that we are going monster hunting. Our reasons are no concern of yours." The majority of this conversation seemed to be directed at her King.

"Splock Plip Plop Gibblewich." Said the King.

"Daddy says, 'Fools.'"

"Well tell your _daddy_ if he doesn't let us go into the caves I'll freeze the Zora domain over. Again." Threatened Ganondorf. This earned a nod of approval from his henchwoman.

"Wow, that's original." Sniggered Ruto. "That happens at least once every game...I mean generation. We're used to that now." She saw the sparkling look of absolute irritation on Ganondorf's face and giggled nervously, "But of course we'll give you access to the caves, won't we, Daddy?"

"Schnickle-Schnakle." Said the Zora King, from nowhere he produced a huge golden key. "Blip Blop Plip Plop Mip Mop Drip Drop glooble gin figgidy flulely pip."

"This is the master key, it'll open any door in the dungeon, I mean cave. Oh and here's the map so you don't get lost. Good Luck, King Ganondorf." Ruto handed the key and map over to Ganondorf with a curtsey and a highly flirtatious grin that set Nabooru's teeth on edge.

Link watched the proceeds with a bemused look. "You mean there's a key that opens every door in the caves? And a map? And it's kept here?"

"Well of course, sweetie." Said Ruto. "Every monster-infested dungeon has a master key! How else could people check on the lighting, ventilation and general condition of the place in between intrepid explorers ransacking it? You can't be too safe in these safety conscious days you know! You don't expect people to actually wander around for hours and hours looking for keys and solving puzzles just so they can change a light bulb on the eight floor, do you?"

Link groaned and pulled the lock of yellow hair that hung in front of his eyes violently. The pain made him feel a little better. "Why was I not told this?" He moaned.

"Why would you want to know?" Asked Nabooru, suspiciously.

Link suddenly remembered his company. Desperate times called for desperate measures. He grabbed Ruto around the waist and pulled her to his hip. Ruto squeaked with delight. "Eheheh, I was just thinking of taking my beautiful fiancée Ruto for a nice dungeon crawl one day and knowing that there's actually a master key and map already here kinda spoils the joy, you know?."

"O...kay..." Said Nabooru, scratching her head. "Er, anyway, we'd better be off now. A pleasure as always, Princess Ruto. King Zora."

"Gurble Piddle Folop." Replied King Zora bowed regally. In fact, he bowed so regally and so low that his whole huge body suddenly toppled forward off his throne. He landed with a splash in the pond. "Ferluck." Said King Zora making good use of his new Hylian word.

"Er, caves are that way." Said Ruto, pointing to the hole in the grating behind the throne so recently vacated by the ungainly king. She gazed down at her father and grimaced. "Er, we're gonna need some poking sticks here! STAT!"

"Tatty bye!" Called Ganondorf, skipping after Nabooru until he noticed she was glaring at him, after which he stopped skipping, skulked along in classic 'baddie' stance and glowered at everyone who got in his path. Nabooru took one long last look at 'Sheik' before propelling her King through the opening on into the caves. She noticed how Sheik had been gazing at Ganondorf in a rapt manner most of the time. There was something very fishy about that boy, she decided. Very fishy indeed.

* * *

The mammoth effort required to hoist King Zora back onto his throne took about an hour. Given the arduous nature of the task and the exhaustion felt by all after it was accomplished, a strange sense of camaraderie had built up between Link and the Zora. He even found himself laughing at something with Ruto, which was disturbing. He was even thinking she wasn't that bad after all, when she had handed him a glass of ice cold water, adorned with pretty blue flowers. That was until she told him that the glass was a sacred Zora treasure and by accepting it, he had officially married her, and would he like to join her in the matrimonial bed so they could get on with the all important task of producing heirs.

Link spat the water out, and hastily set the glass down. "Er, let me think about that..." Stammered Link, cursing his mind for focusing not on how to escape immediately, but on how producing heirs would actually work given that they were different species.

"Aw, Sheiky." Murmurred Ruto, rubbing her head on his shoulder. "You're just so cute when you're all shy. Don't worry, I'll teach ya all about the birds and the bees and the fish and the froggies and the..."

"That's quite all right." Grimaced Link. "You know, I'm really tired. And I have a headache. And I..."

Ruto silenced him by kissing him through the scarf.

"EUUGGGGHHH." Screamed Link, pulling away horrified, "That was like kissing a fish..."

"Well I am kind of a fish, my love." Purred Ruto, evidently unfazed by his disgusted reaction. "To be honest, I didn't like it that much either. It was like kissing my rubber ducky."

"You have a rubber ducky?"

"Yes."

"And you kiss it?"

"Regularly. He's my make-out buddy."

"And I thought I was crazy. You take the biscuit." Link saw Ruto's bottom lip was trembling slightly, and the pupils of her eyes had gone extra large. Puppy dog eyes were about to be unleashed. Link gulped and remembered something that was bound to give Ruto a distaste for him. His salvation was at hand.

"Er, Ruto...you know what Ganondorf said before – you know, that I'm actually a girl?"

"Ganondorf's a girl?" Exclaimed Ruto, astonished.

"No, idiot. He said that I- as in me, Sheik, am actually a girl. Well he's right. I am a girl."

"Oh." Ruto looked sad for a moment, but then brightened up again. "But Nabooru said you were a boy. You almost had me there, Sheiky. Teehee."

"No – hey, what the heck's Teehee mean?"

"Oh, do you think it's cute? I do. Teehee."

"Oh dear goddess." Moaned Link, tugging very hard on that lock of hair again. He explained very slowly, "I really am I girl. I'll prove it!"

"No, I'll prove your a boy. Let's do the squish test again. You know you want to."

"I know I don't." Retorted Link. The next instant Link's hand was being held tantalisingly close to Ruto's chest. Strangely enough he had no inclination to touch any part of Ruto, least of all her bosom. His hand remained perfectly still. Even when Ruto pressed it against herself, Link was motionless.

"Oo, your just teasing me." Said Ruto when she realised that he really wasn't going to pass the 'would he get a sly squeeze in test?'. She was unperturbed. "I know, Sheiky, I'll just remove your pants, then we'll see."

"No we won't coz my pants aren't going anywhere." Retorted Link, taking a precautionary hold on his belt .

"Spoil sport." Pouted Ruto.

"Freak."

How long the argument would have gone, or how long it would have been until Ruto would have ordered her guards to advance on him with the Zora Poking Sticks armed and ready in order to assist in the removal of wearable items would not be known. King Zora intervened.

"Flik Flik Poddle Snap." He said in the most surprised manner, flapping his fin-like hands around. His face was a little less flaccid than usual. Of course, everybody turned around. Link included.

"Oh.My.God. OhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGod." Squeaked Ruto in a pitch so high it was almost inaudible.

"Now what?"

Ruto pointed at the chamber in answer, screaming with excitement and jogging on the spot. His ears were ringing painfully as he turned his head to look but at that moment he didn't care. At last he had found salvation. His saviour had arrived.

"ZeeelllLink!" He shouted happily, sprinting across the room and flinging himself onto an unsuspecting Zelda, clothed in Link's body. He knocked her onto the floor and hugged her ecstatically. The next moment the pile of bodies was joined by Amber, who clearly thought some kind of rough game was afoot. A moment later Ruto thought 'What the hey' and dashed over too.

The next second the foursome had overbalanced and had toppled over the edge of the waterfall into the lagoon below.

* * *

Ruto naturally recovered first, Amber second, Link third and Zelda last. They all swam quietly to the edge of the lake (or at least the latter three did, Ruto was somersaulting in the water, squealing and yelling so much that a few rocks fell from the top of the chamber in an attempt to squish her). Link helped Zelda out first, and then Amber and then hugged the pair of them again.

"Er, do I know you?" Asked Zelda, taking a step back and falling back into the lagoon. Link had forgotten that Zelda did not know 'Sheik' yet. Unfortunately, she was rescued by Ruto who had been waiting for such a moment. She executed a dramatic rescue then insisted that the blatantly conscious and stunned looking new guy required a kiss of life. The new guy (Zelda) began to wonder if Link had swapped bodies with the fish girl, only to dismiss the idea a second later. Even Link wasn't _that_ insane.

She was rescued by Link, who dragged her out of Ruto's reach and explained frantically, "It's me! _Sheik_. Whatever you do, do not annoy the crazy person."

Zelda gazed into the strange boy's eyes and recognised something glimmering in the back of them. His eyes were different, set into a different face, but Link could never quite hide that mischievous so unique to him. "Oh." She said, a little sternly.

"Oh? Is that all you can say?" Asked Link.

"Have you forgotten how we parted?" Replied Zelda tartly. "You ran away without an explanation."

"ATTENTION!!" Screamed Ruto, as she danced around Link and Sheik. Neither looked at her.

"I couldn't face you after what Aganhim said, I knew you wouldn't believe me if I told you the truth." Link turned away and noticed Ruto glaring at him and quickly turned back to Zelda.

"EXCUSE ME! PRINCESS TALKING HERE!"

"Why wouldn't I believe you? Just because I was a little annoyed that you'd not told me anything doesn't mean that if you explained yourself I wouldn't trust you. I've never doubted you. Not until then, anyway." Zelda smiled slightly at her friend and said, "Besides, I can't abandon you. I'm tired of walking in your shoes. I want to be me again."

"THAT'S IT. GUARDS!!"

This scream got their attention, it also made Amber do something understandable. She bit Ruto.

"Ouch. Stupid mutt!" Yelled Ruto, jumping onto Zelda's back for protection from the evil wolf. Then she realised who she was clinging to and squealed again. "OH. MY. GOD!" She began, bouncing up and down again, giggling. "You are gorgeous. Who are you? Will you marry me?"

Zelda cast a confused look at her counterpart and tried to shake Ruto off her back. Ruto clung on like a limpet. She wasn't going anywhere. In fact, she was making herself comfortable.

"You're choking me." Gasped Zelda, trying to prise Ruto's hands off her. Ruto giggled and snuggled up closer. "I can't...breathe..."

"I knew it!" Sighed Ruto, "I knew you loved me too. My beauty has stunned you! You are breathless because of me."

"Well that part is true." Observed Link, he was part tempted to rescue Zelda from Ruto's machinations, but he was enjoying watching her attempts at fending her off. If he had been in control of his body, he would have gotten rid of her by the simple expedient of reaching behind him, grabbing her arm, and tossing her over his head. Zelda clearly hadn't thought of this tactic. But she was getting angry.

"_Sheik._" She suddenly snapped, glaring at him. "Get this thing off of me!"

"Fine." Link shrugged and whistled to Amber. "Amber, tug!" He grabbed Ruto's waist and Amber took a chunk of her blue dress in her jaws and after the count of three, they both pulled as hard as they could. Amber added effect by growling. It was clear the wolf was enjoying herself. Tug of war was her favourite game. It took a good minute of tugging to finally loosen Ruto's hold on Zelda. She finally gave in with a shriek.

"I didn't know you were so jealous, Sheiky." Sighed Ruto, picking herself up from the floor. She simpered at him. "I'm sorry, I'm going to have to drop you. This guy is way hotter than you. I've decided to marry him instead."

"I am not going to marry you." Retorted Zelda, blankly. She took a step towards Link and clutched his arm.

"Why?" Pouted Ruto.

"Er...because I'm a..."

"-he's already in love with me." Suddenly interrupted Link. He didn't want to have another 'squeeze test' inflicted on anybody, least of all Zelda. Besides, he needed to talk to her alone.

"But you're a boy." Ruto pointed out. "We've already established that."

"Well yeah but...it doesn't mean I can't be in love with Link."

"Link? Ooo, is that your name. It's gorgeous just like you." Ruto smirked at Zelda.

"Er, it's true. This guy really does love Link, I mean, he loves me." Added Zelda, hastily. She clutched Link's arm even tighter and cast a scared look at Ruto. Suddenly she felt Link wrap an arm around her waist. She jumped in shock and glanced at him.

"It's true. I really do love you. That's why I had to leave." Explained Link, there was just enough sincerity in his voice to make Zelda blush. She squirmed out of his reach and took a step back. Today was not a good day to be receiving various declarations of love. "Please, can we just be serious for a moment?" She asked, backing against a wall and hoping that she was hallucinating. It was all just a bad dream, decided Zelda, any moment, she would wake up, Ruto would vanish and Link would be back in his body. The craziness would stop.

"Sure we can be serious." Answered Link, he saw Ruto was advancing on Zelda again with a strange hungry look in her eye and quickly grabbed the Princess's wrist forcibly holding her back. She tried to slap him away and screamed. Knowing that the guards would be there any second, Link gave Zelda a very brief explanation of what had transpired that day. (It went something like: met Saeru, made pact, Ruto's mad, Ganondorf in caves. Gotta hurry). Zelda processing the information as quickly as she could and latched on the most important part of his speech. "Ganondorf's in the caves?"

"Yes. With Nabooru." Link winced as Ruto began digging her nails into his skin in an attempt to escape into Link's unwilling arms. "They're after Lukarn."

"They couldn't destroy him, could they? Oof." Zelda crashed to the floor as Ruto finally made her escape, cannoned into her and pinned her to the floor, hugging her and grinning deliriously.

"I don't know. Aganhim may have found a way. Er, are you all right?" Link watched as Zelda rolled from under Ruto and pinned the Princess's arms to her side, holding her a good arm's length away.

"Fine." Said Zelda, "This body does have its uses. Anyway, if Ganondorf manages to defeat Lukarn and get the signet ring, where does that leave us?"

"Buggered."

"Well we'll just have to stop him won't we."

"He has got a map a key and an hour's head start."

Ruto started bouncing up and down at this point. "Oh I know! I know!" She yelped. "I can help you! I know a secret way in to the chamber. You could meet the scary Lord Lukarn that way. It's about a mile's walk though and I'll only show you the way if..."

"Let me guess, if one of us marries you?" Sighed Link. Ruto nodded happily. "Fine. I, Sheik, will marry you IF you get us to Lukarn before Ganondorf and IF we find what we need there. Deal?"

Ruto was disappointed not to get Link out of the bargain but Sheik was a pretty good substitute, she decided. She shook his offered hand and dashed off. "You'll need a Zora Poking Stick each." She said, giggling as she danced ahead. "And I hope you're both good at swimming. Teehee." She missed the look that passed between the two friends.

"Sheik will marry Ruto, will he?" Asked Zelda, giving 'Sheik' an amused glance. "And what happens when she finds out who Sheik really is?"

"Just the usual - either she'll give up or we'll run for our lives."

"Sounds like fun." Smiled Zelda.

* * *

Sorry again Ruto fans, but I couldn't resist this particular parody! Anyway, I hope you understood the purpose of this chapter under the craziness. I.E. I hope you are beginning to understand what Nabooru's evil plan is...


	26. Lord Lukarn and Link Love

Sheesh, sorry this has taken so long to write. I completely ran out of creative juices after that last insane chapter. That my beloved other half bought me The World Ends With You. Damn you Squeenix for taking over the last 3 weeks of my life. Er anyway, this took a while to get off the ground and hopefully it is not quite as mad as the last chapter, although...nah, I'll let you see for yourselves.

A huge thank you to: **Super Goat Grl, Link's Ocarina Babe, Fallen Dragonfly, Booklover13, Quinkilo1055, I.K.A.Valian (x2), la generala, SSBMgirl and Moderntwilight64** for your reviews. I really do appreciate every review I get and am so happy you are enjoying this slightly...insane...fic! Thank you for the support and motivation you are providing. Okay, I'll quit my Oscar acceptance speech now before the tears commence and get back to the story! Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter Twenty Six – Lord Lukarn and Link Love

Whether Zelda was still having fun after traipsing down a tunnel barely wide enough for her to fit through, most of which was flooded to at least waist height, whilst being accosted by a crazed Zora Princess was anybody's guess. One would imagine that the experience, which for her was uncomfortable and acutely embarrassing, would not leave her in a happy state of mind, but she did not appear to be particularly distressed when the trio finally emerged into a dimly lit chamber at the end of the tunnel.

Glancing at her new hero, blissfully unaware that her hero was actually a girl trapped in her male friend's body, Ruto noted that 'he' seemed to be in a trance. The Zora Princess was aware of what her companion's had been discussing, although much of their conversation about pacts made with Saeru, Running away from Impa because she had been mean and the Dork King and his soaps went over her head. She was not altogether foolish, although her nature did suggest otherwise. To her it was very clear that 'Sheik' liked 'Link' to the extent of nearly declaring his love for the second time in a day, and 'Link' although a little overwhelmed by this, didn't mind too much. This realisation worried Ruto a little. She had no intention of marrying an effeminate man, especially one already in love with someone else, but she did need heirs, or at the very least a husband. Otherwise she'd have to marry that stupid prince from Termina, he was a musician or something. He was way, _way_ below her league.

Ahead of them was a stone doorway that looked almost moulded into the wall. There was no sign of Ganondorf or Nabooru but Ruto guessed they couldn't be that far behind. The journey through the secret passage had taken a lot longer than anticipated. Who would have thought Hylians could get sucked into whirlpools so easily and so frequently? She had lost count of the number of times she had been forced to rescue them. And they were never in the least bit grateful when she did save them either. The pair of them seemed to her to be a bit grumpy. And they didn't like her pets. Or at least 'Link' didn't like them. 'Sheik' acquitted himself nicely by trying to hug an electric eel, whilst it was mid-zap. He admitted to liking cute fuzzy animals too. Ruto began to like him a little bit more.

'Ah well', thought Ruto, sizing up the door and pointedly ignoring her companions, who were having rather heated whispered conversation, 'here goes nothing.' She'd never been into Lord Lukarn's Lair before and she didn't really want to go in now but she had two boys to impress. And impress them she would. "Let's go!" She shouted. She pressed a switch on the side of the door and it slid up into the roof of the chamber. Ahead of them was a thick pillar of steam, and a bitterly cold wind blew through the opening.

She was through the door in a trice, closely followed by her companions. She leaned on a wall as they passed; availing herself of the opportunity presented to ogle her new found friends' behinds. As she leaned back there was a soft clicking noise. Behind her the door slammed shut and the lights dimmed.

"Oops. My bad." She giggled.

* * *

For the longest time nobody moved or spoke. It was so cold in the chamber that it hurt to breathe. Link adjusted the scarf around his neck and glanced at Zelda. She was shivering again.

"Ruto, what did you do?" He whispered, his voice trembled slightly as he teeth began to chatter.

"Teehee, I don't know. Aw, are you cold?" She murmured as she sidled up to him (with maximum bodily contact) "I can warm you up if you want."

"Gods no. I'd rather freeze." Retorted Link, shuddering again. He managed to wriggle out of Ruto's embrace and tapped Zelda on the shoulder. "You okay?" He asked.

"Am F-Freezy cold."

"I'd offer to hug you better but I think I'd just make you worse. My clothes are sodden!" He chuckled and added, "It's a shame I couldn't convince Amber to come with us on this trip. She'd be perfect at getting us warm. She could play the 'run away or I'll bite ya' game."

"I wonder w-why is it that your pet is so much s-smarter than you?" Giggled Zelda.

"I resent that, _Link_!"

"And I resent that you two keep excluding me – a Zora Princess – from your conversations." Interrupted Ruto sulkily. "In any event, that wolf of yours wouldn't have lasted five minutes in that tunnel. She'd have drowned. Nasty animal..."

"Actually I think you'll find that Amber, _Link's _pet, is a Hylian Terrier and is therefore a dog, not a wolf." Explained Link, "And she's not a nasty animal. She's a sweetheart. Except when she bites you."

"Oh, well if it's Link's pet... er, I was only joking." Laughed Ruto half-heartedly, "Well anyway, I'm not too interested in pets. I am interested in one of you repaying your debt to me. I am owed one husband. Cough up!"

"Can't until we've met Lord Lukarn. That was the agreement." Retorted Link.

"Well you can't meet him."

"Why?"

"Because he'll kill you and then I'll never get a s-stinking normal husband and I'll have to marry that idiot from Termina." Ruto began to sniffle ominously. Link stepped a little closer to Zelda and cringed. Nightmarish memories of the Maku Tree started to waver around his mind. Panic began to set in... Suddenly Ruto was okay again. "Oh well, if he kills you then I'll just marry Link instead." She decided.

"And what if Link is killed?"

"Link can't be killed. I'll protect him with my life!"

"That's good to know!" Said the real Link, laughing. "You know, I have this horrible feeling that we are not alone in here. We should explore."

"Don't you wander off without me!" Ordered Ruto. "Come back here, Sheiky!"

There was the sound of running feet and a squeal and then all of a sudden the room went very dark and very quiet. Zelda shuddered and instinctively took a step closer to what she thought was Link, only to find herself with her back against a pillar of ice. There was very little light in the room and (thanks to Ruto) there was no escape. A thick, soft mist rose from the floor and walls, making it difficult to see anything but a dingy grey colour.

A noise, which had been tickling her eardrums for some time slowly became more apparent. It was the soft trickling of water. As soon as she noticed it, she realised that the mist gently floating up from the ice all around them was getting thicker. Zelda shivered again and sidled to the left, hoping to bump into Link this time. She hit another pillar of ice.

"Er..._Sheik_?" She called. "Where are you?"

There was no response. She had the horrible feeling that she was alone. The trickling water was the only thing she could hear. She reached her hands forward and touched yet another pillar of ice. She felt panic rising up in her throat like bile and her heart began to bump painfully in her chest. She was trapped. "LINK!" She screamed, forgetting her pretence of being him.

* * *

On the other side of the ice, Link was equally as panicked. Ruto watched in some surprise as he repeatedly attempted to shatter the ice with his bare hands.

"Sheiky?" She asked, sensibly keeping out of reach of his fists, "What are you doing?"

Link was arrested from his attack on the ice, a thing his hands were extremely grateful for, and gazed at Ruto in confusion. "What does it look like I am doing? I have to save Zel...I mean Link."

Ruto nodded wisely, she smiled as she caught his eye and glanced away. Suddenly her eyes widened and her skin went a greenish colour (the Zora equivalent of pale) "Um...Sheiky?"

"What?!"

"I think we'd better deal with Lukarn first."

"Huh?" Link glanced in the direction she was staring and swore. "Get down!" he yelled, crashing his body into Ruto. A thick spray of water flew over their head. As it hit the ice pillars it froze and shattered, its shards rained down them. Link shielded Ruto with his body, hoping the sheikah armour would protect him from the hail.

"Hehe, Sheiky, you're molesting me!" Giggled Ruto from underneath him. He glanced down at her and quickly moved. As he moved another jet of water crashed into the wall behind him, shattering as it hit the ice. A high-pitched roar filled the air and a large icicle crashed to the ground just to their right. Link swore and crawled forward. To his right he saw Ruto following his lead. For once the Zora Princess was not grinning inanely. They crawled as quickly as they could, large sheets of ice crashing down on the ground just behind them. Link had the impression that they were being driven forward.

Another jet of water passed over their heads. Link pushed himself harder, forcing his cold body to crawl faster. Suddenly the ground under his hands disappeared. His yell of surprise was smothered by a mouthful of water as he toppled forward into a deep pool. His body was not happy about this new development. He was already soaked to the skin after his adventure in the hidden passage and his body temperature had been steadily decreasing thanks to the copious amount of ice in the chamber. He gasped desperately for air, trying to calm his body which was busy hyperventilating. Chunks of ice passed before his eyes and the cold of the water stabbed at his skin.

The next instant he felt a pair of arms grab him underneath his shoulders, dragging him. He struggled automatically until he heard Ruto's voice hissing "keep still, idiot." in his ear. She glided forward in the cold water, as silently as only a Zora could, her body barely causing a ripple on the surface. She dragged him to the opposite side of the pool and turned him around so that he could grip the edges of the pool and haul himself out.

"Thanks." He muttered.

"Shhh." Hissed Ruto. She was still in the water, watching something on the opposite bank. Link followed her gaze. Through the thick fog he saw a movement of white. It was almost impossible to make out anything but he realised whatever it was, it was standing right next to the pillars that surrounded Zelda. He glanced at Ruto. "What is that?" He breathed.

"Lukarn of course." Whispered Ruto, keeping her attention fixed firmly on the movement at the opposite side of the room.

"I know that!" Exclaimed Link, a little louder than he had intended. "But_ what_ is he?"

Suddenly the pattern of movement changed. The white mist swirled around angrily and a blast of air hit him. It was so cold that all the water on him turned to ice. A terrible, high-pitched shriek filled the air again, making the ground tremble. The next instant the shape charged forward and Link got his first view of Lord Lukarn. It was the briefest of glances, for as Lukarn shot forward, Ruto grabbed Link's legs and hauled him back into the water. She was just in time too, the impact of the blow aimed for where Link's head had been would have certainly killed him. For a split-second, Link thought the beast would crash into the wall, but just before it hit, it swung its body around and stretched its legs, pushing its body in the opposite direction with alarming speed. Lukarn returned to his vigil near Zelda's ice-cell.

From his nice, frozen vantage point, Link sighed (Remembering to sigh very quietly) and met Ruto's gaze. "I think he's attracted to noise." Explained Ruto, softly. Link nodded, feeling it was better to err on the side of caution when fighting this monster. He wondered exactly what Lurkarn was, his vision of him had been extremely brief, but he remembered a narrow, blunt noise, snow-white body and scaly skin. It was very difficult to get a clear view of the dream snatcher through the dense fog that lingered just above the surface of the water. "I gotta get out of this ice-pond." Breathed Link, edging towards the banks of the pool. He had to show Ruto how the tips of his fingers had turned an unhealthy blue colour before she allowed him out of her grasp.

"I've got an idea." She whispered. The next instant she had vanished under the water. Her blue body seemed to melt into the icy darkness of the pool, perfectly concealed in the dim light. She swam towards the opposite bank. Link shrugged and as quietly as he could hauled himself out of the freezing pond. His body was numb with cold and had clearly decided to go into shut down mode. Only happy thoughts of how all he had to do was defeat Lukarn and then he could be himself again, kept the will to fight alive in him.

Despite his best intentions, he could not exit the pool without making some sound. He kept low to the ground, expecting Lukarn to come flying at him again but the monster did not show. He looked over to the opposite bank and saw that the monster's attention was apparently being divided between three points – himself, the pond and the wall of ice housing Zelda. "Ruto?" He shouted. The beast shot in his direction again. Link avoided the blow but this time managed to get a proper look at Lukarn.

He was right about the serpent-like body covered in white scales which appeared to be made of ice. Lukarn's nose was long and blunt, his eyes milky white and clearly sightless. His wings seemed to be made of gossamer, edged in silver and were jagged. Link counted at least six ears on his wide head. His mouth was filled with shark-like teeth, long and razor sharp, curving back. Link smiled as he watched Lukarn bounce off the wall back in the opposite direction. His wish had come true. Now he could be a real hero. He was going to be a dragon-slayer!

He then remembered that he was still trapped in Zelda's body, even if it had taken on a man's form at that moment, and he realised that to defeat a dragon made of ice, he would need access to a flame of some sort and the only flame he knew of was Zelda's fire-ball trick. In Sheik's body he could not do any magic tricks but he knew that Zelda's body was not strong enough to battle a dragon. Link sighed (inadvertently making Lukarn attempt to bite his head off again) and realised that he would have to rely on Zelda (in his body) as the brawn of the operation, himself (as the brain!) of the operation and then he would need some bait. Well that was easy. The bait was currently splashing around in the water pretending to drown to distract Lukarn's attention. For an idiot, air-headed and insane fish girl, thought Link, she was pretty fearless.

The instant Link let Sheik's body melt back into Zelda's form, he realised how much colder the room felt. The extremities of his body began to ache and he felt twice as numb as before. On the plus side, thanks to Saeru's training, he had access to all Zelda's magic skills. He killed two birds with one stone by blasting a nice path of flames across the room, warming himself up and destroying the ice around Zelda's cell. It also annoyed Lukarn and for the next few moments, until Ruto managed to distract the dragon again, he had to fend off the attacks of the beast. A quick glance in her direction told him that Zelda was okay although her skin (well it was his skin really) was looking a little blue around the edges.

His next task was to get over to the other side of the room so he could explain to Zelda and Ruto what his plan was. He tried shouting but that only resulted in Lukarn attacking him so furiously that he had to jump back into the pond again to avoid his attacks. He tried sneaking but he fell into the pool after about three steps. Finally he realised that he would have to use Ruto as an envoy. It was easy enough to call her over, but a little more difficult to handle her disappointment when she realised that Sheiky had turned into a girl for some inexplicable reason. She was on the verge of tears, (even with Lukarn attacking them at every possible moment) until she realised that now she really would have to marry Link. That cheered her up immeasurably.

Link began to wonder if rather than being fearless, she was too foolish to realise the danger they were in.

It took a few minutes for Ruto to agree to convey Link's message of: "Keep quiet! Ruto'll distract, I'll bring down, you attack!" to Zelda, and even then she didn't seem to grasp the fact that Link was asking her to be live bait for a dragon. She was too excited by the prospect of helping out her hero to realise the danger she was putting herself in.

* * *

For one of Link's plans, it worked surprisingly well. Ruto distracted Lukarn by thrashing about in the water like a landed fish. The dragon could not see the other two attackers though he knew they were there so he concentrated on destroying the one who was floundering in his ice-pool. As he hovered over the pool, squirting water at Ruto (who dived under the surface whenever she was in danger of being hit), Link blasted him with a jet of fire. Lukarn roared in anger and charged in the direction of the flame. As he approached, Link ducked so that the dragon would bounce himself off the wall. He did and shot off in Zelda's direction. Just before he hit the opposite wall, Link shot another blast of fire at his tail. The shock of the attack distracted Lukarn. He swung his head around to face Link, but as he did, his body crashed into the wall of ice near Zelda. Stunned, the dragon fell. The instant he was down, Zelda sprang forward and, using Link's sword, hacked at Lukarn, trying to cut off his ears.

Lukarn did not seem to learn from his mistakes, and as soon as he recovered from his swoon, he set off in the same pattern – attacking Ruto, then Link, then crashing into the wall, then having another ear cut off by Zelda. His attacks became more powerful the more he was injured, and his movements were more erratic. Ruto barely managed to avoid a icicle aimed for her head. Link was knocked against a wall by a jet of water, and Zelda had her arm bitten. But still the trio attacked, shouting out instructions to one another, fighting tirelessly to bring the Dream Snatcher down. As Zelda managed to hack his last ear off, Lukarn went wild. He began tearing around the room, crashing into walls, firing off attacks in all directions, screeching and wailing at the top of his voice. And then suddenly he shot into the roof of the chamber, turned on his tail and dived head first into the pool, slamming into Ruto. The Zora princess screamed as the dragon's teeth grabbed her around the waist and dragged her down.

"Link! Do something!" Shouted Zelda, running towards the edge of the pool. The surface seemed to be clouding with blood and the mist was dissipating. Zelda gulped and tried to spy where Lukarn was. The pool was very deep and dark, there was no sign of either the dragon or it's prey. She glanced at Link on the opposite bank. "We've got to stop him!"

"I know!" Retorted Link, angrily. "But how can we..."

"I have it!" interrupted Zelda, "Electricity. Charge the pool, it'll kill Lukarn!"

"Yeah and Ruto too! Hardly a fitting thank you for saving our lives!"

"I know that but what choice do we have? We have got to stop Lukarn and we have to do it now?"

"But Ruto..."

"But nothing! The Link I know would not hesitate at a moment like this! What is wrong with you?"

"You and your stupid morals that's what's wrong." Muttered Link. "You've polluted my lovely selfish mind for the worst and now I-"

"Oh just shut up! Now is not the time for an argument. Just do it, Link!" Answered Zelda. She glared at her friend. Clearly Link's bad influence had rubbed off on her as much as her good influence had rubbed on him. "Do you want to be stuck like this forever?"

Link met her eyes for a second and then turned away. "Fine." He muttered. He knew Zelda was right. They had to kill Lukarn in order to get their normal bodies back. "I'm so sorry, Ruto." He thought as he chanted the words of a powerful electricity spell. He thrust his hand into the water. There was an almighty crashing, zapping sound and the air began to ring eerily. The water went bright blue and tendrils of lightning sparked over the surface and then there was silence. Link and Zelda sighed and gazed at each other.

Lukarns body floated up to the surface, Ruto still grasped tightly in his teeth, her blue dress was completely ruined and her eyes were wide open in surprise. The surface of the pond began to freeze over.

"Finish it!" Whispered Zelda. "We've got to destroy him."

Link nodded and charged up a final spell. The power of Illumae would sever Lukarn's connection to immortality and would give him and Zelda the power to return to their own bodies. There was a strong flash of white light. They both closed their eyes. When they opened them again, the room was completely filled with thick ice. Ruto had been laid on the frozen surface of the pond, next to her was a sapphire signet ring, cut into the shape of a tear drop.

"I've not seen one of these for a while." Remarked Zelda, stepping forward carefully on the ice. She paused to gaze down at Ruto for a moment before turning to Link and holding out her hands. He took them without a pause. "I'll be glad to be me again." She whispered.

Link nodded again. "Yeah, me too. I wonder what this ring does though?" He turned the silver ring over in his hand and frowned. "Do you think it could help..." He knelt by Ruto and gazed down at her still face for a moment before gently moving the lids down over her eyes. "Poor thing. At least I won't have to marry her now."

"And there's the real Link." Snorted Zelda. "Just when I thought you were going to be a better person from your experiences the real you just can't resist being evil, can you?"

"Sheesh, where did that come from?! All I did was try to lighten the mood."

"A really inappropriate thing to do. You should be ashamed of yourself."

The two were just settling in for a good argument when something unexpected happened. Ruto's eyes opened. The pair fell silent.

"Are you fighting over me again?" Murmured Ruto. "What happened? I feel all tingly."

"Er...aren't you supposed to be dead?" Asked Link.

"Am I?" Ruto looked a little confused and then sat up. "Oh you mean I should be dead because Lukarn dragged me underwater by my waist, trying to drown me, and then I got zapped and then something else happened which I can't remember, teehee, and then I woke again? We Zora are a resilient bunch!"

"You must be to survive that!" Remarked Zelda, scratching her head.

"Yeah, the only thing that can really kill us is pirates and seagulls. Other than that we're indestructible."

"Glad to hear it." Zelda grinned at Link and quietly removed the signet ring from his grasp. She twirled it in her fingers for a moment and then smiled. "Well, I've had enough of my little charade. I would like to be me again but before that, Ruto, I humbly ask for your hand in marriage!"

Link started at this, trying to grab the ring back from Zelda. At the same time the Zora Princess squealed and sprang forward towards what she thought was Link. Then there was a flash of light and Link found himself back in his body once again. He could not fully enjoy the moment, nor avenge himself on Zelda for proposing marriage on his behalf for the second time in as many months, for an instant later he was clobbered by a salivating Zora Princess intent on kissing the life out of him. He fought her off valiantly, all the while cursing Zelda loudly.

"Serves ya right." Giggled Zelda, safe in the knowledge that the crazy Zora girl really did prefer Link to 'Sheik' and in any event viewed any other girl as a rival completely beneath her notice. "Ah, it's good to be me again." She sighed, hugging herself.

She watched with interest as Link finally managed to pin Ruto's arms to her side and physically hold her at arms length away from him. She decided that he was rather cute when he was fending off obsessed women. It was probably his slightly terrified look that did it. "Ruto! Listen to me, please!" Begged Link, speaking slowly and loudly in the hopes of getting through to her mind.

Hoping to hear some declaration of love coming from her newest fiancée, Ruto stopped screeching and smiled up at him. Link glanced over at Zelda and gulped. He really wished he hadn't inherited some of her morals, then he could have really told the Zora Princess that he'd rather boil in oil for all eternity and have his eyes poked out than marry her, but his new morals forced him to let her down gently. "Ruto." He began, still very calmly and slowly. "That is what I would have liked to have said."

"Eh?"

"You know the whole begging for your hand in marriage, and I promise I would have asked had circumstances been different but given how things stand it would not be fair to ask it of you."

"W-what?" Ruto's smile faltered and her eyes began to fill with tears.

"You see..."Continued Link, gulping again, for possibly the first time in his life his cheeks were tinged slightly in pink, "I can't marry you because I...er...I am already kinda in love with somebody."

"You are?" Whispered Ruto, confused. "Who? Tell me and I'll kill her and then we'll be together, Linky! Oh we'll be happy and you'll forget about her and..."

"I'd never forget about her." Said Link, softly, purposely avoiding Zelda's rather incredulous gaze, his feet shifted about uncomfortably. "I'm pretty sure that the way I...um...feel is a forever kind of thing. So, er, sorry and all that."

For a moment Ruto was on the verge of hysterical tears, her eyes seemed to be drowning and her bottom lip quivered. The next second she had cheered up because Link kissed her briefly (remembering to avoid mentioning any comparison with kissing fish that sprang into his mind) and assured her that she too would find real love one day. "You really love this girl, huh?" Whispered Ruto, when he released her.

Link still avoided looking in Zelda's direction and found suddenly that studying his feet was actually pretty interesting. "I think I loved her from the first moment I saw her, just before she tried to electrocute me." He admitted, quietly. There was a pause and then:

"Oh. My. God." Screamed Ruto, breaking his reverie. "That is just so..._Cute! _It's like the sweetest thing I've ever heard!"

If he hadn't already guessed it, Link clearly saw now that the Zora Princess was suffering from some kind of bipolar disorder. She was now jumping up and down, hands clasped at her breast, blushing profusely with a sparkly look on her face. "That is, like, totally awesome." She breathed, barely able to contain her excitement.

"Er, aren't you mad?" Asked Link, Ruto glared at him. "I mean-aren't you mad at me?"

"How can I be when you've just said the cutest thing ever?" Giggled Ruto. "It's so sweet it makes me want to be sick. It was so romantic. Sigh."

Link scratched his head and watched as Ruto bounced around, squealing. He glanced at Zelda and saw she was staring at him with her mouth open. It wasn't quite the most attractive pose she had ever been in, nor had he taken particularly good care of her body whilst he had inhabited it, so she was dirty, her hair was a mess and her make-up smudged, but to him she had never looked quite so beautiful before. He smiled at her.

"I...um..." Stammered Zelda, wondering why her mind had chosen this, above all others, to suddenly desert her.

Link took another scared look in Ruto's direction. She was now waltzing with an imaginary friend, singing loudly and hideously tunelessly. "Think we'd better leave?" Prompted Link. Zelda nodded and slowly backed off towards the door. Link quietly followed her. He vowed never to return to the Zora's domain.

* * *

About half an hour after the pair had escaped, Ganondorf and Nabooru finally reached the final chamber. Having spent the last two hours crawling through the most frustrating temple they had ever had the misfortune to come across, both were cold, wet, miserable and annoyed.

It didn't really help matters when they met Ruto instead of Lukarn and she explained that her dear friend Linky had gone off with the pretty sparkly ring that Lukarn had dropped. It was likely Ganondorf would have killed Ruto had she not made a chance reference to her passion for all things rubbery and yellow and duck shaped and how Link's hair had almost been the same colour as her favourite bath time buddy.

That happy reference earned Ruto her ticket out of the water temple and earned Ganondorf her eternal adoration. She decided thereafter that blond haired blue eyed men were not her type, she preferred orange haired, green skinned Gerudo warlords with a dubious level of sanity. Unfortunately, Ganondorf had to leave on some extremely urgent business before he could be persuaded to marry her. He and Nabooru almost appeared to be running for their lives as they left.

Fortunately for Ruto, about two minutes after their leaving, her actual fiancée arrived from Termina and said something like 'You're freaking totally my type, babe.' And she was hooked.

* * *

Okay, so sorry for the mix of styles in this chapter, I'm not entirely convinced that they gelled very well? It was quite hard to write but I hoped you like the dragon at least! And sorry for the ending, it was silly even for me! See ya next chapter :P


	27. Soft Fluffy Stupid

Firstly I AM SO SORRY I'VE NOT UPDATED THIS FOR AGES!! I've been very busy/lazy and have been distracted by Final Fantasy, Persona, Dragon Quest, The World Ends With You, Soul Calibur, Odin Sphere and...well you get the picture. Stupid games all coming at once and taking over my life. To add to the list of excuses I have also have some Home Improvements done and have changed job. Couple that with a general lack of inspiration to do any writing, and you have my reason for not working on this. To make up for it, I will be posting a couple of one-shots shortly, so check 'em out if you have the time.

I do hope you all haven't lost interest in this story! and please accept my humble apologies.

Secondly

Thank you **ADD Kyuubi Naruto, Super Goat Grl, QuinKilo1055, Fallen Dragonfly, Yuleen75, Link's Ocarina Babe, Ruto Lover **(and a special apology for you for being so mean to Ruto!!), **SSBMgirl, la generala, stateofmind7337** and **Booklover13** for reviewing. If I missed anybody, I am sorry. Ditto if I didn't reply to your review (although I think I have done that now). I hope you enjoy this installment!

**oooOOOooo**

Chapter Twenty Seven - Soft. Fluffy. Stupid

Given the happenings of the previous day, it was a little surprising for Zelda to find herself waking up with her arms wrapped around Link's broad chest. Her surprise was not because she was unaware of her friend's affection for her, but more that she had not yet decided how she was going to react to his declaration. For a moment she wondered if her mischievous friend had somehow manipulated the situation during the night but quickly dismissed the idea. He had gone out of his way the day before to make her as comfortable as possible when it became apparent that his confession to Ruto had embarrassed her. Clearly then, she had been the one to embrace him and therefore it as imperative that she moved as quickly and as quietly as she possibly could without waking him up.

She should have known that not waking Link was pretty much impossible. As soon as she moved he chuckled and turned over. "Aw, don't move, Princess, I was all comfortable." He complained. He grinned at her and added, "although for a second I did think you were might have been Ruto, you were hugging me so desperately."

"I forgot how much colder the world is when you're me!" Replied Zelda, attempting to divert the conversation from its dangerous ground. "I needed to borrow your warmth again."

"That's fine. Borrow me any time you like, I will be your personal blanket." Link gave her a one-armed hug and sat up. "So where shall we go today?"

"Don't you want a day off?"

"What and give Impa, Ganondorf and Nabooru a chance to catch up with us. Not on your life! Besides...no I won't say it."

"Go on."

"Fine, you asked for it! I was gonna say you wouldn't make my day off interesting anyway."

"LINK!"

"You asked for it! Didn't living in my body teach you never to ask me to finish what I was going to say?" Link grinned as Zelda started to giggle, only prompting her to laugh harder.

"I don't think living in your body taught me anything I didn't already know." Answered Zelda, "Apart from how to be an idiot."

"Oh, that's mean." Link stood up and wiped invisible tears from his blue eyes. "My time being you taught me nothing I didn't already know either – I mean, I already knew how much I liked looking at you your body. Living in it just showed me which bits I like ogling the best!"

"Link!"

A little way off Amber sighed and rested her head on her paws. Evidently they were don't going to do much after all that day. The wolf-I mean dog-closed her eyes. She much preferred sleeping to dealing with immature puppies anyway, and besides, she knew if they got out of line, she'd just have to bite them.

**oooOOOooo**

"ENOTS LATSYRC FO GNIDOAL, ESAELP WOHS EM ZELDA." Commanded King Ganondorf. From the deep frown line marring his face, the sneer on his lips and the wild, unbrushed state of his orange hair it was clear that he had not had a very good night's sleep. At his side Nabooru was calmly brushing her hair, looking perfect as always. She was one of those very fortunate (and therefore slightly smug) people who could sleep just about anywhere and would invariably wake up looking as though she had just stepped out of an expensive boudoir. She smiled at her King's anger and watched with interest as the Seeing Stone focused in on a view of Zelda as she and Link and wandered across a wild flower meadow whilst their pet gavotted about them enjoying the late summer sunshine. Link was being electrocuted.

"Young love." Snorted Ganondorf. "It makes me feel sick."

"Yes Sire. It is vile." Agreed Nabooru, curling her lip at the sweet picture presented in the Seeing Stone. "I wonder where they are going?"

"Don't know. Don't care." Snapped her King. He was never at his best in the morning, especially when he'd not had enough sleep the night before. Nabooru repressed a smile and pulled on her shoes. "Are we going to follow them again, sir?"

"Uh, all these questions! Just leave me alone!" Snapped Ganondorf. He yawned again and attempted to go back to sleep. Unfortunately the rocks they had chosen as their night's camp were cold, hard and not exactly designed to be beds. Especially those bits that seemed to be deliberately spikey. He closed his eyes resolutely and turned his back on Nabooru.

"I'll just watch what's going on then, My Lord." Said Nabooru, taking a seat next to the seeing stone. She grinned at her King's back again and skilfully resisted the sudden urge she had to ruffle his hair. Such behaviour would not be befitting in a Gerudo officer. 'Then again', she thought amusedly, 'neither was acting like a spoiled child befitting behaviour for the King of Hyrule'.

For about five minutes Ganondorf feigned sleep, trying to ignore his body's demands to be awake. The bright sunshine almost prodded at his eyelids willing them to open and the light breeze tickled the hairs on his arm, chiding him softly for trying to sleep on such a glorious day. He decided he hated the world. "That's it!" He shouted, giving up on his attempts to rest his poor body, "I'll get up or whatever, but be warned Sunlight! You are now my enemy. Mwahahahahahahaha..."

"Ganny, are you all right?"

Nabooru's concerned voice dragged him back into reality and away from his schemes to cover the world in darkness. He glanced in her direction and saw she was trying not to laugh. He scowled at her and muttered something about the hideous perversity of the sun, and the freakishly unjust manner it chose when decided to share its light with the world just when he was trying to sleep. Why was it, he wondered loudly as he scowled up at its lovely shininess, that the nasty whitey-yellow sparkly star only shone this brightly on days when he was trapped outdoors and needed more sleep? Clearly the sun was the most evil thing the goddesses had ever thought of and it was purposely designed to irritate him. Well, he would get his own back! From now on the sun, and all who actually tolerated its stupid, wicked glowiness, were his enemies. It was war. Ganondorf versus anything that could be deemed in any way shape or form, cheery. Apart from his rubber duckies. They were exempt. For one thing, they were Officially Evil, and were therefore going to take his side on his war against light. And Secondly, well, they were his babies. His precious, beautiful babies and the thought of ever being mean to them was just...it was just...more horrible than that nasty, shiney light in the sky. And anyway, he could always paint them black if their yellowy happiness got on his nerves too much. Anyway, he told Nabooru, he officially hated birds, bees, flowers, summer and most of all the sun.

If his companion thought that such a plan was a little extreme, she did not say. She just smiled and nodded as she watched her King's mind succumb to darkness. Anything so long as he was happy, she thought.

**oooOOOooo**

"So we are heading...where?"

"I don't really know." Link smiled in a manner he hoped would reassure his companion. From the look on her face, his plan wasn't working. He took the frown, coupled with the hands set firmly on her hips and feet set slightly apart to mean that she was awaiting a more detailed explanation of his current plans. "I'm following Amber."

"Well that makes sense." Zelda gazed at the golden-coated wolf ambling some paces ahead of them, "She is much smarter than you'll ever be."

"Haha, very funny."

"I'm just trying to figure out where in Hyrule we could possibly be going? I mean, we've irritated every resident in Castletown, got lost in the Lost Woods, put the Gorons to sleep, raided the Graveyard and insulted the Zora! Where could you be planning to spread your own personal brand of joy next?" Zelda smiled at her friend's outraged look and poked him in the ribs. "Don't come all innocent with me, Linkipoo, I know you for what you are now – A Calatian Knight who specialises in the restoration of the Chameleon Stone! Don't tell me you don't know where to find all the Dream Snatchers because I won't believe you!"

"So maybe I do know where the Dream Snatchers should be – I may not actually know if they're still there. That's why I am following Amber?"

"Why, because she can find them?"

"No, because I am lost and I'm hoping Amber will take us back towards Impa."

"Impa? Why..." Zelda had a sudden urge to kick Link, which regrettably she repressed. Instead she sighed and calmed her temper. "Why would we want to find Impa again if we both have run away from her? Doesn't that defeat the object of running away in the first place? Besides, didn't you object to a day off so Impa couldn't catch up with us again?"

"W...e...l...l... I guess but the thing is – I need access to the Chameleon Stone to show me where the remaining Dream Snatchers are hidden- the Chameleon Stone is currently in King Ganondorf's possession, therefore is most likely hidden somewhere in the castle. Thus I need a reason to get into the castle so I can have a good mooch around. Impa will be that reason. She's a judge, she can grant me a day pass, or something."

"And you think she will help you?"

"Sure, who wouldn't help this face?"

Zelda glared up at Link, taking into account his unruly golden looks, innocent look, sweet smile and big blue eyes, and sighed.

"Besides," Continued Link, his blue eyes beginning to twinkle with amusement, a look which made Zelda's heart flutter in the most stupid manner (which really annoyed her), "I need to tell her our good news."

"And that would be...?"

"Aw, don't act all coy, Princess. You know you love me too. Why already I can see the attraction in your eyes, and the way you try not to smile at my jokes, and the looks you give me when you think I'm not looking and the way you cuddle up to me when we sleep and..."

"All right, enough already! So I think you're attractive, a girl can lust after her friend, can't she!"

"Lust, eh? Fine by me." Link grinned and hugged her again, making her blush furiously. "Anyway, I can't wait to tell Impa. The look on her face will be priceless."

"Yeah for the few micro-seconds that you'll get to see it before she strangles you." Mused Zelda. "I'll tell you what, let's not tell Impa what happened in the Zora domain and what you think about me until _after _we've got a day pass thingy so we can visit the castle, eh? Or in fact, a better plan – let's just not visit Impa at all! Let's sneak into the castle and...oh what was that?"

"An excuse to jump into my arms?" Grinned Link, as he deftly caught her mid-air.

"Don't flatter yourself." Said Zelda, as she firmly disentangled herself from his embrace. "I saw something."

"Really? Where?"

"Over there." Zelda helpfully pointed out an overgrown spot of Hyrule Field. She watched impassively as Link cheerfully strolled forwards. Amber followed him silently, her hackles were slightly raised. There was another flash of colour in the patch and Link stopped. He whispered something to Amber and the wolf crouched low. Link edged forward, one hand resting on the hilt of his sword.

"Wow." He suddenly exclaimed and scooped something up from the ground. "Zelda, I am terrified." he admitted. He swung around and grinned at her. In his arms was a cute and harmless-looking golden cucco. It clucked softly and snuggled into his arms.

"That is not what I saw." exclaimed Zelda, giving the hapless bird a doubtful look.

"Well it was the only thing over in that particular patch of grass." Link rubbed his face against its soft downy feathers and smiled happily. "It's so cute!"

The cucco stared at Zelda benignly.

"It looks evil to me." She stated. "I think I should fry it."

"Fry it? How dare you!" Cried Link, holding the bird protectively against his bosom. "Why would you want to be mean to such a sweet little thing?"

"Because all Cuccos are inherently evil." Replied Zelda, coldly. She firmly believed that too. Looking at the blank, beaky face currently staring back at her with a peculiarly aimless look about it made her shudder. Link chuckled at this and snuggled the bird to his cheek.

"So soft..." He murmurred.

"So stupid." Retorted Zelda, taking a step back. It wasn't clear whether the remark was cast at Link or his newest pet.

"Why don't you like them?" Asked Link.

Zelda trusted the mischievous light in his eyes even less than she trusted the docile cucco and took a step back, her fingers tingling with magic ready to zap on command. "You're wrong, I _do _like them." She admitted. Link smiled happily until she added, "Especially when they're covered in spicy batter and fried at Kakariko Fried Cucco. Then I almost love them."

"You are evil. Isn't that right, Clucky?" He stroked the bird's beak as he spoke and it pecked him gently. He continued to address the animal, "You know she doesn't like any cute animals. Skulltulas she especially dislikes and actually tries to zap any she comes across. She is so mean. I don't know why I travel with her..."

"I don't know why you do either." Remarked Zelda. "I only wish the goddesses would preserve me from you."

"Why ask the goddesses? Impa would be more effective!" grinned Link.

"Yeah, she'd preserve me from you and then try to marry me off to that old fuzzle Aganhim. Not really a good trade, is it?"

"Of course not because you are already besotted with me and to even think of another man is torture to you..."

"Actually I was thinking along the lines that Aganhim is a stupid old man who has some serious mental issues, worse than yours, and is ugly to boot. And he keeps trying to get me to drink potions..."

"What kind of potions?"

"I don't know – sleeping draughts, love potions, happy pills..."

"You definitely need the happy pills." Laughed Link, "You are in a grump today, aren't you?" The cucco clucked in agreement.

"Shut up. Both of you." Snapped Zelda, she couldn't help grin back at Link though, even though she was irritated. She hated that about him – when she was getting mad, he always managed to make her laugh and it was guaranteed to diffuse her anger. 'Stupid Link and his stupid cuteness.' She thought. If she wasn't careful she would become as besotted with him as he hoped. Realising that she was thinking along those dangerous lines again, Zelda quickly turned her attention from her very distracting friend. Her eyes rested briefly on the cucco, but she soon abandoned that view – she hated cuccos (apart from when cooked in a deliciously unhealthy manner) and she was starting to wish she could swap places with the lucky bird and have Link cradle her so tenderly. She chose instead to look at Amber.

The wolf was staring at the bird in a rather unfriendly manner. Her hackles were still up, her tail held aloft and her body crouched, ready to spring. Zelda could think of only three reasons why this might be so. The most likely, she thought, was that Amber was jealous of Link's newest pet, that would explain the soft growling. Or, the wolf might have shared Zelda's opinion on how best to deal with Cuccos, that would explain her rapacious, unblinking stare. They had not yet had breakfast. Or, thought Zelda, studying Amber more closely, there could be something more to this than met the eye. Maybe Amber shared her belief that Cuccos were evil by nature.

"Link?"

"Yep?"

"Where was the next Dream Snatcher supposed to be?"

Link thought for a moment, oblivious to the unusual pose his dog had stuck, nor the pale tinge to Zelda's cheek. The cucco clucked softly. "Um, well there's only Ulusta, Gorban and Xeial to find. Um, Gorban was said to have fled to the desert. Xeial disappeared completely and Ulusta..."

"Ulusta what?"

"Um, it is said that Ulusta travelled into Hyrule field and, er, sought refuge in...um...yeah well I forget...um...the rest...sort of..."

"What's up with you now? I've never known you so incoherent before, and I've seen you drunk!"

Link sighed and rubbed his cheek against Clucky's soft feathers again. They were so fluffy and warm and she smelled like open air and happy, cheery things and he loved her so. Zelda was mean for wanting to eat her and he had a feeling if he shared the secret of where Ulusta was reputed to have vanished to, he might not be able to stop her fulfilling her desire to fry the poor creature. But she was glaring at him. Impa had taught her that look well and very few men, even Link, could stand against it for very long. He sighed and murmurred, "Supposedly Ulusta might have hidden in an abandoned farm...NO! Don't hurt Clucky!"

Zelda lowered her hand and raised an eyebrow. "Where was the farm, Link?"

"Er, kind of the middle of Hyrule. Maybe."

"Isn't that kind of where we are now?"

"Is it? I didn't know! What a coincidence, eh?"

"Do you know what he was afraid of?"

"You mean she? Ulusta was female. But no, I can't remember what it was she feared...I have a feeling it was...hay? No. Corn? No. Oh, I think I remember, wasn't it something to do with...oh no." Link gazed down at 'Clucky' and shook his head. "No it couldn't possibly be..."

"Link?"

Clucky clucked and snuggled closer to him, melting his heart in a second. Her golden feathers were so soft and warm and she was the most fluffy, docile creature he had ever met. Surely...no, he was being foolish. Just because Ulusta had been frightened of birds didn't mean that Clucky was actually a monster, did it?

"Link, what is it?"

"Uh, nothing..."

"You do know that when I was you I learnt how you look when you're lying so you might as well tell me what's the matter with little 'Clucky' or should that be Ulusta?"

Clucky clucked indignantly at Zelda and seemed to snuggle against Link. "Of course this isn't Ulusta!" Exclaimed Link, stroking the cucco's head. "I mean, who would be afraid of a cute little bird like this?"

"I don't know about afraid but I certainly know a good few people who dislike cuccos. In fact you're the first person I met that actually wanted to pet the dirty things. Oh well, I've said it before and I'll say it again. You are insane! But that doesn't address the issue. There is something very odd about that bird. Amber thinks so too!" Amber growled in agreement and inched forward.

"Nonsense." Laughed Link, "Nothing this cute could be naughty!"

"You said that about that giant keese that chased us across the field. And that Octorok that spat stones at us. Oh, and that Like-Like that tried to eat me. And didn't you say the happy mask man had a positively friendly smile?" Retorted Zelda. "Just put the bird down and lets get going. I don't trust it!"

"Fine." Link sighed and gave the bird one last hug before gently placing it back on the floor. As soon as its yellow feet touched the floor it's demeanour changed. It crowed loudly and ran at Zelda. She shrieked and hopped out of the way.

"I told you it's evil!" She exclaimed as she jumped behind Amber for protection. Clucky advanced menacingly. Unfortunately, cuccos aren't the most intimidating things in the world of Hyrule and Zelda found the attack more amusing than frightening. She started to giggle. Amber didn't find the attack so entertaining. She didn't like anything that got in the way of her and her precious Link (apart from Zelda whom she viewed as one of her puppies) and she didn't like Cuccos. She snapped at the bird.

The cucco fluttered back and crowed again before attempting to peck at Amber's paw.

Seeing that his pet was getting a little annoyed and was on the verge of giving into her primal urges, Link stepped into the breach. "Enough, Clucky." He commanded and attempted to shoo the bird away from Amber. Clucky crowed for a third time and her body flashed red.

"Oh-oh." Said Link, gazing with amused horror at Clucky as her body seemed to tinge in pink. "I think we might have annoyed Clucky."

"What do you mean?"

The cucco flashed again and crowed loudly. Link took one look at it and whistled Amber, who was showing signs of retaliating. There was an ominious sound of the flapping of a thousand wings. Zelda gazed around her in confusion, looking for the source of the noise. All at once it seemed that the sunlight was blocked by a sea of white. Link followed her gaze and swore loudly, then he dashed over to Zelda and grabbed her hand. "No time to explain JUST RUN!" He yelled and dragged her forward.

**oooOOOooo**

Hehe, I hope it was sort of worth the wait! I will try to update sooner for chapter twenty eight! I know where to run from here and have already written the ending and possible epilogue, it's just the in beween bits now!!

Please R&R and let me know what ya think!


	28. Nabooru's Plan A

**SORRY I'VE NOT UPDATE IN AGES. There are many reasons, mostly lack of inspiration again. And thank you to everybody who reviewed the last chapter. I would like to thank you all personally in the header, however, thanks to fan fiction's new look, can I find the correct tab so I can see a list of reviews?!!!! I must be getting old if I can't work the technology! LOL**

**Anyways, I did keep my promise and posted a couple of Zelink one shots on the site, which a few of you checked out so thanks for that. I have another 2, maybe 3 in the pipeline, which may or may not serve as a stop gap in between this and the next chapter (which I sincerely hope will not take me nearly 6 weeks to write - stupid writers block…grrrr)**

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Chapter Twenty Eight - Nabooru's Plan A

"Now what are those idiot's up to?" For the first time in as many hours Nabooru willed herself to raise her weary head to gaze into the wonders of the seeing stone. Watching Zelda and Link wandering aimlessly through the meadows of Hyrule was not her idea of entertainment and she had been thoroughly bored up to this point but now they were finally exhibiting some more unusual behaviour. They seemed to be surrounded by a white cloud and were running for their lives.

"Interesting." Nabooru wished there was some way to control the viewing angle of the seeing stone so she could make out what it was the idiotic Hylians were fleeing from this time. 'Wonder if Impa's finally found them?' She wondered, grinning to herself evilly. It was impossible to see what the components of the white cloud were and, not being too familiar with the joys of Cuccos, she didn't realise what was happening. 'Oh well,' she thought, giving the running couple an amused look, 'better wake Sleeping Grumpy and report.'

Ganondorf was equally perplexed by the vision of the three companions apparently fleeing for their lives. "Looks like their being chased by a snow-storm." He remarked, it reminded him of one of the ornaments he had on his dresser. "Wonder what it could be?"

"I wonder where they're going?" Nabooru squinted at the seeing stone, trying to estimate the whereabouts of the couple. She knew they couldn't be too far away because they had only had a couple of hours head start from the Zora Domain and for all his sulkiness, Ganondorf had insisted that they travel at a fast pace to keep up with them. White shapes fell all around Link and Zelda like little snowflakes and Amber galloped ahead of the pair leading the way. Nabooru drummed her fingers against the seeing stone and thought, a slight frown appeared on her face.

"Sir, about our plan…" She began.

"The Zora Domain was a let down but at least we had the right idea." Interrupted her King. "We were just a little slow but this time we will not fail. We will get the signet ring before they do."

"Yes, my Lord, we will." Nabooru didn't sound very convinced. "The thing is there's only two signet rings left to acquire."

"I do remember you saying that." Retorted Ganondorf. "I am the king of Hyrule. I am not stupid."

"Er, of course not." Nabooru forcibly removed images of him playing with his rubber ducks from his mind and tried to act normally. "The thing is, sir, what if the thing they're running away from is one of the Dream Snatchers?"

"Are you suggesting that one of the Dream Snatchers was afraid of snow?"

Nabooru gazed into the seeing stone and frowned. "Hmmm, maybe not of snow but…to me they look like there running away from a flock of birds."

"Really?" Ganondorf shoved Nabooru out of the way and peered into the crystal ball. To him the cuccos still looked like snowflakes. That was probably because the only birds he could properly identify were yellow and made of rubber and floated in his bathwater squeaking happily. "Did Aganhim say one of the Dream Snatchers was a bird, I can't remember."

"Nobody knows for certain." Replied Nabooru, "but what else but a Dream Snatcher would actually have the power to make those idiots afraid?"

"Very well, so maybe it is a Dream Snatcher, there's no guarantee they'll actually defeat it…don't look at me like that, Nabooru! And besides, even if they do manage to defeat it and obtain another one of those signet rings, doesn't that make one less for us to acquire?"

"Well yes, but…"

"But nothing! I know you will say that then they will only have to find the final signet ring, true they will, but they don't know that there is only one left to find and they do not have the Chameleon Stone and I assure you I will not grant them access to it unless it is on my terms. So I shall not worry yet, they are pawns in a game of my device and I am still controlling all the pieces. There is no way they can defeat me when I…Nabooru, what the heck is that sound?" Ganondorf paused from his mini-rant and tilted his head, trying to distinguish the strange noise he could hear. It had been buzzing in his ears for some time and was becoming irritating.

"Er, Sire…" Nabooru tugged his sleeve and pointed to something distinctly snow-stormy looking that was appearing on the horizon. Under the cloud of white were three dark figures and they were drawing closer.

"Why the heck are they coming this way? I mean - Mwahahaha, my plan worked." Laughed Ganondorf, easily recognising the approaching party.

"What plan?" Muttered Nabooru, rolling her eyes. Fortunately her companion was so engrossed in realising his own greatness that he didn't hear this piece of gross insubordination. Sometimes she wondered why she bothered following him so loyally. Perhaps it was because he was the only male Gerudo to be born in one hundred years and it was her obligation to like him. Perhaps it was because she liked men to be both good looking and taller than her and most Hylians she had met were either weird looking or short or both. At least Ganondorf was tall, she thought, and for on occasion wasn't ill-looking. She glanced at him and smiled slightly, she admired his strength and (on the rare occasions she actually saw it displayed) his mind, but recently she had realised she actually quite liked his insanity. Which then obviously begat the question, was she too loosing her mind? Would she wake up one day wanting to cuddle up with a cute teddy bear, or would she start taking baths with yellow ducks with inane smiles on their faces? She resolved to speak to Koume and Kotake when she returned to the castle. Surely the Gerudo's resident witches would be able to curse Ganondorf's mind back to its old, wicked self.

"If they're coming here for a fight, we'll give 'em one. Scimitars at the ready." Ordered Ganondorf, as he backed up against the rock wall behind them. "Follow my lead, you take the left flank."

"Yes sir." Nabooru smiled happily at hearing the first normal order from her King in a good few weeks. She glanced over at him and saw the King that she was proud of standing facing the horizon, smiling cruelly, sword drawn, ready for battle. It made a nice change.

**

* * *

**

Link didn't notice the two Gerudo standing facing them, with their swords drawn, until he was about ten metres away from the rocks. He met Ganondorf's eyes for the briefest of seconds and saw the old warlord was grinning wickedly. 'He'll be laughing on the other side of his face when he meets these damned cuccos' he thought as he continued his charge. They were completely surrounded by the birds to the point where almost all they could see was white, hear was crowing and smell was the dust from their feathers. To his right, Zelda was blasting another cucco. It was useless of course, the more they attacked, the angrier the cuccos got and the angrier they were, the more of them appeared.

"Go RIGHT!" He shouted to her. She glanced at him and then looked ahead. She faltered as she saw Ganondorf standing ahead of them with a drawn sword in hand. A cucco swooped down on her. Link darted forward and dragged her out of the way. He didn't intend to let her get pecked to death today. As he did, another cucco dropped on him and tore at the skin on his neck. He yelped and batted it out of the way. More cuccos appeared from nowhere, clucking and crowing loudly, blocking the light from the sun.

"What are they doing here?" Cried Zelda, a hint of panic in her voice. "What do we do, Link?"

"Go around the rocks. I'll distract them, you run!"

Zelda shot a bolt of fire from her hands and glared at him. "No."

"No?" He fended off a couple more irate birds and glanced at her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"…You need me to fight…" Retorted Zelda, as she obliterated a couple more cuccos. "…Not going…anywhere…ow!"

"I don't need you, I'm the Hero, I'll just…ouch! Little swine, take that!"

"I wish you'd shut up." Snapped Zelda. "Stop arguing with me."

Link didn't respond to this. "That's better." Smiled Zelda. She ducked and incinerated another cucco. She glanced forward again and noticed Ganondorf hadn't moved much. She had a sudden thought of brilliance so great she almost cheered. Unfortunately, her cheer became a yelp as another cucco pecked her hand. "I've got a plan - let them deal with the cuccos!" She said. "Let's go."

Link grunted and destroyed another bird. Zelda took this as acceptance of her proposal and dashed forward again. She heard a strange noise come from Link but ignored him, figuring that he was probably sulking about having to follow her orders. They reached the rocks in no time. The two Gerudo hadn't moved from their position of advantage. It was one of their more celebrated tactics to always let the battle come to you, rather than to join in the fray and they had both enjoyed watching the cuccos attempts to murder the Hylians. Amber had shot past the pair of them to the top of the rocks and was standing above them staring intently at the fight.

As soon as her foot touched the dark stones, Zelda shouted to Link to 'Climb!' and scrambled up the rock face as quickly as she could. It was not an easy task with hundreds of cuccos harrying her from behind and wearing her current elegant clothing. She wished she had taken Link's advice and adopted the disguise of Sheik permanently. Still, she thought, dragging herself up the rocks, there was no point crying over spilt milk. She hadn't got the signet ring on that would let her do that anyway. She was wearing the sapphire they had found in the Zora Domain. She still hadn't figured out what its power was.

She heard Link's cry and sent a blast of fire off in his direction. He yelped again, which either meant her aim had been off or another cucco had taken a chunk out of his neck. "BLASTED CUCCOS." She shouted as one nipped her arm. She smacked it out of the way. She reached up for another hand hold and touched what distinctly felt like a shoe. She glanced up and though the mass of white cuccos saw Nabooru sneering down at her.

With a easy swing of her sword, Nabooru prematurely ended the lives of at least four cuccos in one go. "Climb by all means." She remarked, as she struck another hapless bird. "Don't ask me to haul you up though. I won't." She raised an eyebrow and struck at a third group of cuccos.

Zelda stared up at her, wondering what to do as she watched the woman fight. She made it seem so effortless, Zelda realised, almost like a dance. Zelda sighed and hauled herself up to the ledge Nabooru stood on. The Gerudo fought on for a few more moments against the onslaught of white and then snapped at the motionless Zelda, "Don't just stand there, girl. You brought this upon us. Deal with it."

"Oh, right…"

A few more cuccos met their deaths at a bolt of lightning. Those that managed to evade the strike were caught by Nabooru's blade. They fought side by side against the birds, Nabooru slashing all that came near her with her scimitar, Zelda blasting all within range of her magic.

"Gah, where are they coming from?" Cried Nabooru, as a fresh wave of cuccos appeared from nowhere. She disentangled one from her long hair and wrung its neck. "Stupid birds!" She glanced over at Ganondorf to see how he and Link were faring, and through the mass of squawking white bodies saw that her king was having less success than she in deflecting the attacks of the insane animals. "Are they multiplying or something?" She demanded of Zelda.

"Uh…something like that." Answered Zelda, in between her vigorous attempts to fend off the animals. "They're not real."

"Figured that already." Snapped Nabooru, swiping at another bird. "I'm not a fool." She had quickly realised as she fought that the birds when defeated seemed to fade into the sky, only to be replaced by two more. "We can't keep this up all day."

"Hah, maybe you Gerudo can't but we Hylians…ooof. Ow my hand!" Zelda cradled her hand and glared at the offending beady eyes of the cucco that had just pecked her. She shook it better and admitted privately that Nabooru probably had a point. She was already exhausted from her flight across the field, she didn't know how much longer she could keep fighting the hordes of birds.

Nabooru chuckled in between gasping for breath, "You were saying? I seem to be faring better than you, precious. What happened - break a fingernail, did you…ouch! Oh goddesses, I hate these cuccos so much!"

"What happened - did your lipstick smudge?" Sneered Zelda. She gloated for the millisecond in between fending off one cucco and being attacked by the next, the force of which almost sent her flying off the precarious ledge. She was saved, oddly enough, by Nabooru who grabbed her by instinct rather than choice and hauled her backwards so her back was pressed against the cliff face.

"Enough of this. We don't have time to argue. Tell me how we stop these fiends." Ordered Nabooru. "I will fight, you talk." She moved in front of Zelda and drew a dagger from her belt so she was armed in each hand. "TALK!" She shouted, as she thrust the dagger at one cucco. She swung the scimitar and killed another phantom bird and kicked a third.

"Um…"

"NOW!" Screamed Nabooru.

Zelda gulped and wished she didn't have to share vital information with the clear enemy but in such a situation, what could she do? The truth was, she didn't know how to defeat the cuccos but she daren't tell the scary Nabooru this. She had already frightened the Hylian with her alarmingly good swordplay and sharp orders. She would just have to make up the solution on the fly. "Er…amongst the cuccos there should be brown-gold one."

"Brown?" Nabooru paused and narrowed her eyes, trying to peer through the mass of bodies all around her. "Significance?"

Zelda thought for a moment only to discover that Nabooru was glaring at her, with a look which spoke volumes of a murderous intent. The Hylian gulped and continued. "I think that's the leader. I think she's creating and controlling all the others."

"You think?" Nabooru's sword moved again in a blur of silver. "I need better than that, sweetheart."

"Okay, um, that's…you see."

"Talk fast or I'll cut out your tongue." Snapped Nabooru. "You'd do better without it."

"Sorry." Cringed Zelda, "The brown one's called Ulusta. She's a Dream Snatcher, she's got to be controlling the others and…"

"Enough. I got it." Nabooru's sword snaked through the air as she warded off more attacks. She relayed the information to Ganondorf as she fought. "Expose the leader." She shouted in conclusion. He glanced at her and then at Zelda and then nodded and then barked something at Link. The next moment, purple smoke began pouring from his clothes. His head bowed and his lips moved and the ground began to tremble.

"What's he doing?" Shouted Zelda above the din.

Nabooru didn't bother to answer this, her concentration focussed on fending off any further attacks on her person. She kept one eye on her king and watched with interest as Link, fool that he was, realised the wisdom of obeying the Gerudo king and protected him whilst he cast a spell. A moment later, Ganondorf's whole body erupted with a mass of dark purple energy. Like a veil of smog, it twirled around him for a brief second before blasting into the crowd of cuccos, incinerating all of them in one mighty bang. There was an almighty squawk and then en mass, the white birds dropped from the sky. One small, fluffy brown cucco was left exposed on the floor, clucking and flapping around furiously. The next instant, a gold shape sprang over Nabooru's head and charged at the lone bird.

Link followed his pet into the fray, shouting unintelligibly. It was impossible to tell who he was trying to help - Amber or Ulusta. Nabooru exchanged a look with Ganondorf (who was bent double as he caught his breath) and sighed. She was beginning to regret ever having come to Hyrule. She remembered fondly the warmth of the desert, the harshness and normality of living and the rarity of idiots, such as Link, to spoil her day. She had forgotten how much she disliked the youth and his erstwhile pet.

His erstwhile pet, Amber, had pounced onto the cucco's back and sunk her teeth into her golden-brown feathers. Ulusta crowed and fought back vigorously, pecking and scratching. Link joined in too, trying to pull the pair apart and received a bite from Amber and peck from Ulusta as a reward.

"Don't help her, Link, kill it!" Ordered Zelda, as she began scrambling back down the incline.

Link glared at her and deliberately dropped his sword.

"What is up with you!" Snapped Zelda, as she finally reached his side. "If you don't kill it now, we'll be back at square one and she'll just generate another flock of bloody birds to attack us.

"…" Link was still glaring at her and gestured wildly, his mouth opening and closing all the while but no sound coming out.

"This is no time for stupidity, Link. Stop being an idiot and talk to me."

Link made an infuriated noise and threw his arms in the air. Next he gestured wildly at Zelda's hand and then at his mouth.

"What?"

He rolled his eyes and then very slowly pointed to the sapphire signet ring on Zelda's hand, then at his mouth, then made a zipping motion across his mouth and raised an eyebrow.

"You…can't…you can't speak? Is that it?"

He nodded.

"Oh joy!" Cried Zelda, clasping her hands together at her breast and casting her eyes skywards. "How long I have longed for this day. My prayers have been answered! Praise be to the goddesses!"

Link glared at her in a manner worthy of Impa and Zelda giggled. Watching from her vantage point, Nabooru couldn't help but snigger at their stupidity. Surely they realised that their petty argument would result in their prey escaping? The wolf couldn't hold on forever and the cucco was glowing again, which surely meant a fresh attack was immanent. That could only mean more cuccos - a prospect Nabooru never wanted to face again. She looked to her leader and saw he was still exhausted from casting such an exhausting spell but was recovered enough to stare at the Hylians with amused incredulity. Cleary it was up to her to resolve the matter. Again.

She sprang down from the rocks with surefootedness worthy of a mountain goat, dagger gripped between her teeth. As she touched the ground, the dagger's blade changed colour from a rather ordinary silver to a beautiful moon-white. She charged forward, taking the dagger from her mouth as she did. The brightness of the blade distracted all the combatants. Link and Zelda stared at her open mouthed and Amber dropped the hapless Ulusta and backed away from the furious Gerudo. Nabooru ignored all three, concentrating on the seemingly innocent foe who had now decided that her best tactic was for feign ignorance and was scratching the floor and pecking at imaginary bugs in the dust.

She glared down at the tiny cucco and held the dagger aloft, ready to strike and then her face suddenly changed. "I can't do it." She whispered, lowering her weapon slightly. "I could cope with a giant serpent but this…" Ulusta clucked in the friendliest of manners and started having a dust bath. There was never before such a serene and precious little creature. "It's too cute."

"WHAT?" Exclaimed Zelda. Link 'whooped' and punched the air. Zelda punched him and he yelped. "I'll do it myself. I can't believe even a Gerudo warrior can't handle a stupid cucco."

"I beg your pardon?" Said Nabooru, gripping the dagger tightly once more.

"Well I don't see one dead Dream Snatcher so I guess you are as stupid as Link! Just kill the blasted thing and lets have done."

"But…" Nabooru shook her head and gazed back at Ulusta, the harmless Dream Snatcher. It almost seemed like the frenzied attack had only happened in their imagination. She scratched her head and frowned.

"Don't you remember what just happened? That bird almost killed us and you are going to let it live? Pathetic!" Sneered Zelda.

"I don't see you rushing to end it's life either, sweetheart." Retorted Nabooru.

"No, well I…" Zelda glared at the cucco and desperately tried to conjure up a reason to kill it but her mind was blank. Like Nabooru she began to wonder if the whole attack had been a daydream. "Um…that's a bad cucco." She stated, rather lamely.

"Uh huh." Nabooru adopted classic 'sceptic' stance (hands on hips, head back you know the drill) and raised an eyebrow. "Why is this cucco a bad cucco?"

"Errrrr…because…it is?" Zelda stared helplessly at Ulusta and felt a sudden desire to pick the beast up and cuddle it. She couldn't explain why she had such an urge and somewhere in her mind she remembered she didn't even like cuccos but the creatures feathers were so soft and golden, her eyes so beady her beak so yellow…

Link smiled benevolently at the pair of cooing women and reached forward to touch the bird. As he moved, Amber darted forward again, placing herself in between the humans and the dream snatcher. When Link attempted to push her away, she bit him. Link yelped again and jumped back. His mouth moved and finger waggled, clearly he was telling his pet she was a 'bad dog' but alas, the spell binding his tongue held. It did serve to distract Zelda though, she congratulated the wolf on a good shot and bent down to pat her head.

"Ow, you bit me, evil dog. How dare you!" Screech Zelda, following Link's lead and jumping back. Behind Amber, Ulusta was turning an alarming shade of red again. Amber growled in response and attempted to nip Nabooru's bare leg.

"Don't even think about it!" Snapped Nabooru, dodging out of the way of the wolf's teeth. She glared at Link, "I suggest you call your _dog _off this instant, Link, or I'll kill her."

Link pointed to his mouth and said something very rude in response, which fortunately was not audible, but unfortunately, Nabooru lip read. "You devil." She hissed, and drew the white dagger once more. She moved slowly towards Link, who tried to draw his sword, only to realise he had dropped it near Ulusta. He decided instead to back away. "Call me vile names, will you, Link?" Purred Nabooru, advancing menacingly. "Don't you remember the games we used to play? I always win in a battle of wits, for you have none."

Link mouthed something even more scandalous back at her, and her eyes glittered menacingly. She reached him and tickled the white dagger under his chin, cutting the skin slightly. "Don't forget, sweetness, the Gerudo still have a score to settle with you. In fact, I think I'll settle it right…now…" Link held her gaze innocently and succeeded in not looking in Zelda's direction. He knew that his companion had no idea of his previous involvement with the Gerudo and planned on keeping it that way. Nabooru held the dagger for a long moment before suddenly removing it. Before Link could attempt to make a surprised sound, she had turned and in one easy motion, flung it in Amber's direction.

Quite how it happened, Link could never be sure. As the dagger flew, Zelda shouted and Amber, by some miracle, dodged out of the way. The dagger flew straight and true and landed in Ulusta's golden, feathery breast. There was a flash of pure white light that blinded them for a moment. When his eyes peeled themselves open again, there was no sign of Ulusta (or Clucky as he thought of her). Nabooru's white-bladed dagger had reverted to its more normal silver colour and Amber was sniffing at the patch where Clucky had been.

He and Zelda exchanged a look and then dashed forwards. They had to get the signet ring before the Gerudo did.

"Not so fast, Hylians."

Both stopped on instinct and swung around. Ganondorf stood behind them, grinning evilly. They glanced at one another again, simultaneously, Link ran towards the old King and Zelda ran towards the Signet Ring. Nabooru sprinted after Zelda. As he charged forward, Link grabbed his sword and swung it forwards, only to discover that he still hadn't picked it up. Going unarmed against Ganondorf was something even he thought was a stupid idea and he stopped mid-sprint.

"Got it!" Exclaimed Zelda, picking the amber signet ring from the floor. She swung around, holding the ring aloft and grinned. For the briefest of moments she stood thus, before Nabooru easily whisked the heavy ring from her grasp and tucked it away in a pocket.

"Correction - you had it." She sneered and smiled at her king. The smile he cast back sent shudders running down Zelda's spine. She had forgotten how much she feared the man. In the castle he had looked tall but out in broad daylight she could finally see just how huge he really was, and dressed head to toe in black armour, he looked like he had just stepped out of a nightmare. He drew his scimitar and then grabbed Link by the collar.

"Arg, let me go!" Protested Link. "Oh…YAY, I've got my voice back!" The 'shut-up' spell had been banished the instant Zelda's fingers had touched the newest of the signet rings.

Zelda withered him with a single glance and concentrated on Ganondorf. "Let him go." She ordered.

"Um…no." Ganondorf laughed his best bad-guy laugh and pulled Link against his chest, with one hand he grabbed his hair and exposed his neck, with the other, he pressed the sword tightly against the exposed skin. A trickle of blood appeared.

"Please, let him go." Begged Zelda.

"Foolish girl, of course I will release him." Smiled Ganondorf, in a manner that made her skin creep. "Providing you meet our demands."

"D-demands? What demands?"

"Zelda. Go. Now." Link's voice was very quiet and very calm. This frightened her more than anything Ganondorf had said yet.

"I'm not leaving you."

Ganondorf sniffed and would have wiped away an imaginary tear had both hands not been occupied in holding Link prisoner at that moment. It reminded him so much of those old seeing-stone-shows he had loved so very much but had been so cruelly denied to him, no thanks to Link (and the Maku tree). "That is so sweet." He sneered, he pressed the sword a little harder against Link's neck, making the Calatian gulp involuntarily. "My demands, dear little Zelda, are simple. In return for Link's pitiful life, I want something from you."

Zelda racked her brains to think of a plausible reason for Ganondorf holding Link to ransom. She remembered her time back in the castle. "I…I refuse to marry you!"

"Pathetic child. As if I'd want to marry you! No one in their right mind would want that sort of fate." Snorted Ganondorf. "You have something that I want. Hand them over and you and your little friend may go free. If you do not comply, well, I think I'll just kill the pair of you now."

"An empty threat if ever I heard one." Interrupted Link. "You won't kill Zelda, without her you'll never have the means to control the Chameleon Stone. You need her magic to aquire the remaining signet rings."

"Do I?" Ganondorf appeared to be puzzled by Link's statement. "Funny that, I am sure I just saw Nabooru defeating a Dream Snatcher. Did my eyes deceive me? Was I hallucinating?" He laughed again, "Poor deluded fool, there is more to the Dream Snatchers and Chameleon Stone than even you know. I do not need anybody but my loyal Nabooru to assist me in getting what I want."

"Fine, well why don't you just kill us then? You don't normally show any restraint when murder is involved." Said Link.

"I am offering your little friend a chance to lean on my mercy. I have no desire to prematurely end the life of one so young and beautiful."

"Aw, thanks Ganondorf." Smiled Link. "That's so sweet of you."

Nabooru, who had up to this point been watching the goings on with a good deal of annoyance, now interrupted. "My Lord, I don't think they are taking you seriously. Perhaps you had better just kill Link. We can easily acquire the rings by force if we must. If you wish, I will kill him for you."

"That's what you want - the signet rings?"

"Well you're not having them." Decided Link, before Zelda could speak again.

"That's not your decision to make." Replied Ganondorf. "That is for the Golden Light of Hyrule - our dear little Zelda to decide." He smiled wickedly at her, and ran his sword lightly across Link's throat. A fresh trickle of blood appeared. "Well, my lady, what will it be. Shall I allow my faithful Nabooru to prematurely end the life of your dear Link now, or will you have me spare him?"

"Zelda, don't listen to him!" Urged Link. "Take Amber and run! I'll be okay, I promise."

"You always were such a useless liar, Link." Stated Nabooru, as she wandered over. "'I'll be okay' Hah! What nonsense." She drew her sword and rested it against his heart. "You have no idea how much I want to kill you, my darling Link. You won't be okay at all. I will take great delight in cutting you into little pieces - one for each of my sisters you dishonoured."

Link smiled despite himself, "Wow, that _is_ a lot."

"How dare you!" Snapped Nabooru, she kicked his legs almost from under him and then raised her scimitar high above her head. "You will pay for that too, fool!" The silver sword slammed down.

"NO!" Screamed Zelda. The sword swung aside at the last possible second. Ganondorf sneered at her. "Well…?"

She held the pouch with the signet rings forward. "Take them." She cried, "Just let him go."

Ganondorf laughed wickedly. "A good choice, my girl. Nabooru…" Zelda bowed her head as the Gerudo spy stalked over and whipped the pouch from her. A quick check told her that they were all there. She nodded to her King. "Thank you, my dear." He said. "Now I will fulfill my side of the bargain." He laughed again, and shoved Link away from his grasp. He fell face forward into the dust and lay still, a rapidly expanding patch of darkness came from underneath him.

"Link? LINK? W-what have you done?" Cried Zelda, as she dashed forward.

"Whoops." Giggled Nabooru. She grabbed him by the hair and turned him over. His torso was awash with blood and his face was peculiarly pale. The Gerudo stood and faced her king, smiling. Nabooru's sword trick was not quite the feat Zelda had imagined it to be. Instead of piercing his heart, as been her original intention, Nabooru had stabbed Link squarely in the shoulder and he was losing a lot of blood. "He's not dead. Yet." She declared.

"Good. That would have spoilt all my fun." Sniggered Ganondorf. The pair watched as Zelda desperately attempted to stem the flow of blood from Link's wound. "You know what to do, Nabs."

"Yes sir."

One well aimed kick to the back of the head was all it took to render Zelda unconscious.

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**Sorry, this chapter is kinda naff. The thought behind it is okay but in theory it's not as good as I had envisioned. So sorry. Any pointers you'd like to give me on how to improve would be much appreciated! The next will be better! **

I hope it was clear that Ulusta / Clucky's power was the power of illusion - she could conjure up cuccos as easily as she could delude people into thinking she was cute and innocent. Maybe more on that in another chapter.

**And in case I've not updated before Christmas and/or New Year, I wish you all seasons' greetings!**


	29. Visions and Nightmares

**Thank you so much Quinkilo1055, mysterygal3189, Booklover13, Link's Ocarina Babe and la generala for your reviews. I really do appreciate every single one I get and am so grateful you continue to give me such excellent feedback and critiques.**

**My new year's resolution was to write something everyday, unfortunately that led to me coming up with a two new one-shots and a multi-chapter story which are now in progress rather than concentrating on this. It's been quite a tough chapter to write though. The last one was a little naff so I hope this improves on it. I certainly feel a lot happier with it. Anyway, enough waffling on my behalf, cheers again and I hope you enjoy. Lupi X**

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Chapter Twenty Nine - Visions and nightmares

The contents of the crystal bottle flung across the room were probably valuable, thought Rauru, as he watched the shimmering dark blue liquid slop down the opposite wall. The owner of the said bottle gave no hint of protest - the only sign of dismay on his pallid face was the brief glance he sent in the direction of wall.

"You will tell me where she is. Now."

Rauru massaged his beard tenderly and gazed thoughtfully at his counterpart - Impa had been bullying Aganhim all morning and they hadn't got anywhere so far. He doubted that smashing more of the wizard's belongings would produce a more positive result. He was right. Although clearly afraid of the Judge who almost had him in a chokehold, Aganhim did not answer her question.

"I don't know." Moaned the unfortunate wizard.

"Well you should." Retorted Impa. Her hands reached for another priceless artefact from his desk and Aganhim groaned audibly.

"Impa, my dear, I don't think…" SMASH. Rauru sighed and shook his head as their king-elect sobbed. "Impa, please…" He tried again. The sheikah cast a red-eyed look of loathing at him and continued shaking Aganhim by the collar.

"Where. Is. Zelda?" She demanded, rather than asked.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Wailed Aganhim.

"I really don't think he knows, Impa." Confirmed Rauru. As much as he despised Aganhim for being a weak fool, he could easily empathise with anyone unfortunate enough to be confronted with the wrath of the mighty Impa. She was almost blind to reason when she was in one of these moods. Rauru liked to think he knew women, but he just couldn't fathom out the female judge. She was so moody.

"I don't buy your sorry excuses." She informed Aganhim, "You will tell me where my ward is this INSTANT or else I'll…" Impa's eyes darted around the room looking for yet another inanimate object to bear the brunt of her spleen. A vision of pure carnage met her eyes. Chairs had been toppled over, bottles and ornaments smashed, potions spilled, papers scattered. There didn't appear to be anything left for her to destroy. "I'll…um…" For a split second a hint of consternation appeared on the sheikah's angry face, "I'll make you sorry."

"I already am." Wailed Aganhim. "But I really don't know where Zelda is at this moment in time. You might have forgotten but the last time you visited me my very precious, priceless Seeing Stone was stolen by the hideously lovely Gerudo woman, and that was my only…er…means of tracking the delectable princess-to-be."

"I know that." Snapped Impa. "I am one of the few people these days who has apparently retained her mental faculties. What I am saying, you old fool, is that you are a _Wizard_. I'll bet any money you can use a spell to find her. Don't pretend you can't."

"I can't. I can't." Sobbed Aganhim, his hands feebly attempting to prise away Impa's chokehold.

"Why not? What pathetic excuse have you made up this time?"

Aganhim gulped and gazed pleadingly into the judges red eyes. "Its…um a…secret?"

"WHAT?!"

Before Impa exploded and literally choked the life from the poor wizard, Rauru decided that he'd better step in and help. With Kru's help, the pair of judges prised Impa's hands from around Aganhim's neck and pulled her away. Kru helpfully righted a chair and Rauru tenderly pushed the irate judge into the seat. She glared at them both. Not for the first time, Rauru thanked all the known gods that Impa had no magical powers that enabled her looks to kill. Fortunately she was too mad at them to speak, and sat almost docilely in the chair making an odd growling noise and grinding her teeth.

"Now Aganhim," Began Rauru, in his most soothingly pleasant voice, "You know we do not keep any secrets between us. Why don't you tell me why you cannot use your magic today?"

"I can't tell you." Aganhim was torn between being theatrically defiant and the very real fear of Impa. He fingered his neck and gulped.

"I think you'll find you have to tell us, Aganhim." Said Rauru, very kindly. "You see the thing is, if you can't honour us with your trust, I'm afraid we won't be able to trust you to be the next King of Hyrule. And that means that we also won't sanction your marriage to the heir to the throne."

"You don't have to spell it out so clearly." Sulked Aganhim. "You're all so mean."

"We are _mean_?" For a moment, Rauru allowed himself a moment of irritation. That the old wizard should accuse the three most benevolent people in Hyrule of being mean was almost too much to bear. Aganhim owed everything to them. They had hand-picked him as being most suitable match for Zelda's temperament, and with his long line of noble(ish) ancestors, vast wealth, magical skills and malleability, he was perfect for their schemes. In return for his compliance, the Judges were quite ready to proclaim him as rightful king, so long as he remembered who put him in such a place, and obeyed their every word. The moment didn't last long though, Rauru was far too placid to allow such minor insubordination disturb his peace. He sighed and shook his head at the aged wizard. "If you refuse to comply with our request, then it leaves me with no alternative but to…"

"Please don't!" Squealed Aganhim. "I'll explain everything. It's all Ganondorf's fault."

"GANON-what?" Exclaimed Impa, jumping out of her chair and flying at the unfortunate wizard again, her hands held forward, ready to choke the life from him. Kru managed to grab her mid-pounce and with some effort managed to restrain her whilst Rauru moved Aganhim strategically out of her reach. For his heroics, Kru received a rather painful thwack across his face.

"OW! Rauru, tell her - that really hurt!" He cried, as he beat a hasty retreat.

Rauru faced his counterpart judge and saw the look on her face and decided not to take Kru's advice. "Um, Impa…"

Impa raised an eyebrow, daring him to continue. Rauru gulped and closed his mouth. Whatever he was going to say dried on his lips. He stepped backwards and bumped into Aganhim who had decided that he was a safe thing to hide behind.

Satisfied she had all the men in the room firmly under her control again, Impa smiled unpleasantly at Aganhim and said, "You were saying?"

"I-I- um…."

"You said this was Ganondorf's fault." Stated Impa, her eyes flashing dangerously. "Tell me, Aganhim, what dealings have you had with the Gerudo King?"

"He-he-hum…did I say G-ganon…d…?" Aganhim's attempt at cherry bewilderment faltered in the face of such open hostility from Impa. She was clearly showing extreme restraint, for she obviously wanted to step over and strangle him. Her fists were clenched tightly, and when she spoke, it was clear it was through gritted teeth.

"Don't play games with me, fool. You're treading on very thin ice here. You'd better tell me this instant what dealings you have had with Ganondorf, and I mean _full _details. I want to know when, where and what was said. And if you don't tell me, I will throttle you. Right here. Right now. And don't think I won't do it because it would be murder and I'm a judge and judges don't condone murder because it is a heinous crime. It would not be a crime not to throttle you. Now SPEAK."

Aganhim gulped and again fingered the collar of his elaborate robes. He didn't dare look Impa in the eye, let alone disobey her and slowly he began to explain that about two weeks ago, Ganondorf and Nabooru had paid him an unexpected visit. At this point, Aganhim begged that his security should be tightened, as apparently the Gerudo king had found little effective resistance to his forced entry.

"No, he didn't meet much when he took over Hyrule either." Snapped Impa, in response. "But we are not here to discuss how he managed to get in. Frankly, I don't care. I want to know why he'd want to visit such a worthless excuse for a wizard as you."

"Sticks and stones may break my bones…" Quoted Aganhim, piously.

"And I will assuredly hurt you if you do not get on with your story." Interrupted Impa. "What did Ganondorf want with you?"

"He…well…he asked about…you know."

"Must I warn you again?"

"Um, no ma-am. Sorry." Aganhim was almost in tears. He had never been treated to this level of aggression by Impa before and he was very, very afraid. He explained hurriedly that the purpose of the King's visit had been to discover all he could about legends pertaining to the Chameleon Stone. He had forced the wizard to comply in a manner worthy of Impa herself. Aganhim was very susceptible to threats.

The Gerudo King had forced Aganhim to spend a whole night looking through every book he had to uncover the information he wanted. Eventually, Aganhim had located a Calatian script of unknown date that told the story of Lefestra and his unsuccessful invasion of Hyrule.

It seemed that Saeru, the goddess, surfaced during the initial stages of the invasion, and had assisted Lefestra in his battles. The legend said that she had been in love with Lefestra, and had enchanted him. The Hylians fought back his advance valiantly, the seven generals who would later become the dream snatchers leading the way but against a goddess, how could they prevail?

Surrender was their only option. The lot fell to Xeial to meet with Lefestra and offer the Hylians terms of peace. Perhaps the Hylians had good reason to send her, though she was the least experienced of them, for she was young and pretty and of royal birth. The result for the Hylians was better than expected, for Lefestra tumbled in love with her the moment he saw her. Saeru's enchantment was broken. The Goddess was betrayed. When she discovered this, she was filled with unholy wrath, the only natural outlay of which was against the man that had hurt her. Thus Saeru swapped allegiances and worked for the Hylians against her former lover.

Of course, it wasn't long before the Hylians began to realise what awesome power the goddess had, they had also seen so easily she had switched her allegiance and wondered if there was a way to harness her power. It was their sages that envisioned the Chameleon Stone, as it later became called, however to trap Saeru they needed Lefestra's skills. Details of why Lefestra decided to help his former enemy are a little sketchy, but it is generally believed that he did so because of General Xeial's influence over him. He was told that Saeru was out of control and was going to destroy the whole world if not contained. So he crafted the Chameleon Stone and designed her prison and keys that only the seven generals would possess. It was not until the battle commenced against Saeru that he realised what the Hylians really planned, but the magic was already in place and Saeru was captured.

In her final moments, she cursed the Generals, turning them into the dream snatchers, and Lefestra escaped the country taking the Chameleon Stone with him. Perhaps as a memento of his once adored goddess, perhaps in the hopes that one day he could somehow take her power for himself. That the latter desire was evidenced was clear in the form of a dagger that he crafted in his later years. He infused the dagger with the same magic he had used to contain Saeru's soul, and it was thus capable of destroying the Dream Snatchers.

"We already knew as much." Snorted Impa, as Aganhim came to the end of his rather long recital. "You told us that months ago, it doesn't explain why Ganondorf came to visit you - unless he wanted to be bored, and it also doesn't bring us any closer to explaining where Zelda is at this moment.

"You didn't know about the dagger." Retorted the wizard, rather hurt at being shot down again by the Judge.

"The dagger is irrelevant."

"Oh no it isn't." Aganhim cackled to himself. "King Ganondorf was most interested in the dagger, you see, when the Hylians conquered Calatia they removed all the royal treasures from the armoury, this not only included the Chameleon Stone, but there was no sign of the dagger. However, the Lady Nabooru's family heirloom is an ancient Calatian dagger, that was stolen from the Royal Palace of Calatia many years ago. It is my belief that the dagger is the very same as the one crafted by Lefestra, created for but one purpose."

"To destroy the Dream Snatchers. You known, Aganhim, I'd like you so much more if you would refrain from waffling on at every opportunity." Snapped Impa. "Just get to the point."

Aganhim gulped and hastily finished his tale, "Ganondorf has got the dagger and intends to use it to take out the last Dream Snatchers before Zelda did, which by my reckoning then was four of them. Nabooru said it was three but wouldn't explain why. He came here to find out where the final Dream Snatchers were located."

"And you told him?"

"Well, yes, to the best of my ability, I did. You see, one was in the Desert, of course, and one was in the Zora Domain, but the other two are a little difficult to find. One vanished into Hyrule field, and the last one - Xeial, well, nobody actually knows what became of her, or where she went. All that is recorded about her is that she was actually rather fearless, and fierce. There was no obvious path for her to follow - no monster for her to become. So King Ganondorf was going to track Zelda with the Seeing Stone and...you know...take the keys to the Chameleon Stone from her."

"Does he not need her power any more? I thought that was why he was interested in her in the first place."

"Of course he still needs her, Zelda is the only mage with enough inner strength to contain Saeru's powers and only she will have the ability to unlock the Chameleon Stone. I would imagine that Ganondorf would need her for that."

"So what you mean is that Ganondorf has kidnapped Zelda again?"

"I didn't say that. All I know is that he and Nabooru were going to follow them."

"So yes, then. And you didn't think to warn us about the prospect of that monster hunting down my ward again?"

"Well, she is not my responsibility yet." Explained Aganhim, a little nervously. "You know, and Ganondorf said he'd hurt me if I told you."

Impa couldn't muster up a suitably withering response to this evidence of complete stupidity. She could have pointed out that she was far more capable of doing lasting injury to the poor wizard, or that by helping Ganondorf he was effectively scuppering his chances of ever attaining the throne of Hyrule but she realised that saying such would only be a waste of her breath. She doubted whether the old fool understood as much. He seemed only to be capable of understand physical and verbal threats. Too bad, she realised, they'd have to look for a less-senile man to marry Zelda instead. But that could be dealt with at a later date, she decided, right now her priority had to be recovering her ward from Ganondorf's clutches. Again.

"It seems then we must visit Ganondorf." She announced. She noted the looks on her fellow judges faces and sneered at them, "Oh come on, you two, you're not afraid of him are you?"

"Er…yes." Offered Rauru. Kru nodded in agreement.

"More afraid of him than you are of me?" Offered Impa, sweetly. That was a conundrum. Rauru and Kru exchanged a glance. One foe was capable of magic, was positively evil and ever since his self-imposed rule been trying to get rid of them. The other was Impa.

"We're coming." Decided Rauru.

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It seemed like an eternity since she had seen daylight. The dungeons of the castle were dark, cold and smelled of decay. She had been alone for days now. Her only contact with the outside world was the silent Gerudo woman that delivered her meagre rations of bread an water once per day. There was a tiny barred window on the door to her cell. It was there that she spent every waking hour, watching and waiting for nothing to happen. Her cell was the only one in the long corridor, and facing her was a guard sat at a table. It was lit by a few dim torches. She could easily envisage loosing her mind to this silent, dark torture.

She had not seen Link since that fateful day of their fight with Ganondorf. She didn't know if he was alive, and she barely held out hope that she would ever see him again. Over and over in her mind she saw him shouting at her, telling her to run, watching him fall at Nabooru's hand. She believed it was her fault. All of it was her fault. She remembered cradling him as he lay bleeding, dying…

"Are you frightened, Zelda?" A soft voice came from within her cell. She swung around at the sound of the voice.

"Saeru?" She exclaimed, her eyes fell on the goddess, who was currently sat on her bed, perfectly at ease. As always an odd blue glow surrounded her, it reminded Zelda of the moon. The goddess smiled peacefully at her and patted the bed next to her.

"Sit, child. We have much to discuss."

Zelda obeyed. In her mind she was convinced this was a hallucination, but she didn't care. Any companion, whether real or imagined was better than none. For a long moment Saeru studied her in silence, her eyes probing the very depths of Zelda's soul. It seemed she had found what she had sought, for she slowly nodded and smiled wickedly to herself.

"Truly, you are terrified of this cage, are you not?" She mused. Her black hair twisted and swayed around her body as if it were alive and her golden eyes glowed eerily. "You understand what this means, don't you? This is your fear - the worst thing you can imagine."

"But this is real." Replied Zelda, miserably.

"Oh yes, it is very real. This imprisonment, this dread, this darkness and damp - it is all as real as the sun and the sky is on the walls outside this prison. You are imprisoned by your enemy, Zelda, and you know not what has become of your companion. You hold a glimmer of hope within your heart yet your head tells you such is a mere delusion. He is dead, you believe, yet you cannot accept it. The fear of not knowing is destroying you. In the darkness you can hear the whispers of spirits but you cannot see a face, and you know not if it is kind or cruel. The damp and cold stab continually at your skin and your heart longs to see daylight. Yes, you are very afraid. Even in my underworld, I could feel you tremble and thus I have come."

"To save me?"

"No child." She laughed, a little cruelly. "Surely you have not forgotten our bargain? Either you save me or you must face becoming your worst fear."

"I'd say that is more a threat than a bargain." Replied Zelda.

"However you term it, a deal is a deal. You used my power, therefore you must repay what you owe. We have already discussed this, child. You must release my power and set me free and in turn I will save you from this nightmare."

"But…I cannot release you now. There's still two Dream Snatchers and-"

"No, you cannot release me now. I am a goddess, not a fool. You must first defeat the final Dream Snatcher - yes I said Final. Perhaps if you are questioning what has happened to Gorban. Think about where he fled to and what you have witnessed in your last encounter with a Dream Snatcher. What did the Gerudo woman do, hmm?"

"Nabooru…?" Zelda frowned and thought about Ganondorf's hand-maiden. Ulusta had been killed by the white dagger Nabooru acquired. Nabooru couldn't have already destroyed another Dream Snatcher , could she?

"Am I to understand you have never properly looked at that woman's hands?"

"I've never really had the opportunity to do so."

"Hmm, well, next time you see her, I would recommend looking at her right hand. You might see something interesting sparkling there…"

"Her Ring?" Zelda remembered the large diamond ring Nabooru habitually wore. She remembered it flashing in the sunlight when she had swung the sword down on Link. She gasped. "That's a signet Ring?"

The goddess said nothing and smiled. "As I was saying, the Final Dream Snatcher - Xeial. Now she is a tricky one."

"It's nothing we can't handle."

"Providing Link _is _still alive and Nabooru hasn't already discovered the secret of the final Dream Snatcher." Saeru giggled and twirled her hair. "You know, this isn't really about releasing me anymore, don't you? I already have what I want. This is about saving yourself, child. If you cannot unleash my power from the Chameleon Stone, then you will be the one in trouble, not I. You see, even without my full power, once the Dream Snatchers are eliminated by you, I will have enough strength to transfer my soul into your body. Your soul - in other words you - will be transferred into my eternal prison. And believe me, it is far, far worse than anything a human could concoct. So, child, you see - you have no choice but to do as I ask."

"But if Xeial somehow stayed alive - I could…"

"Don't even think of it." Snapped Saeru, her eyes flashing ominously. "I can read your thoughts, don't forget. Leaving Xeial alive will not save your soul from me, you know. This started the moment you took on my power, you took the Oath Ring, you made an unbreakable promise to me to release me from my bonds. I do not want our time together to be tarnished with ill-feeling, but if you wish to play that way, then let me remind you who it was that turned those pathetic Generals into the monsters they are now. I will curse your line of family to a lifetime of nightmares and horrors. The Dream Snatchers are still mine to command. Leave Xeial alive and I will turn her into a true monster and she will torment you."

"And that's supposed to encourage me?" Zelda sighed and looked away. "I guess there is little choice in the matter after all. I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't."

"I'm glad you've come to see sense, child. We must work together for the good of all. If you want to escape the rather unpleasant fate in store for you, then you must co-operate with me."

"And by co-operate you mean do exactly as I tell you." Zelda smiled despite herself and added, "You know, you remind me a lot of my guardian, Impa. She uses the same…motivational methods."

Saeru chuckled at this and shook her head. "I presume that is some sort of insult. Alas, having never met this "Impa" I cannot judge how powerful your argument is. Now then, as I was saying Xeial is a tricky one. I would not like to spoil the surprise for you when you discover just what became of the final Dream Snatcher so I will not assist you too greatly. Rather I shall watch your progress from the sidelines with a certain degree of satisfaction and amusement. You see, I particularly hate Xeial. This whole saga came about because of her and I will take much delight in witnessing her final punishment. Poor, innocent fool - she was so loyal to Lefestra, never once questioning his decisions, obeying him without umbrage. You know she tried to protect him from me in the end."

"It sounds to me like she loved him a lot." Remarked Zelda, not realising how much this would anger the goddess.

"She _stole _him from me and I will never forgive her for destroying my dreams." Snarled Saeru. Her eyes flashed and her hair danced around wildly. "And so I shall make her demise all the more painful. She has spent her whole life protecting _him _but now he will be the one to destroy her. I think I shall keep the truth away from that dangerous Gerudo woman. It is much more fun this way." Suddenly the anger died from her eyes and she seemed to relax again. A soft chuckle escaped her lips and she turned slowly to Zelda. The Hylian didn't like the wicked look in her eyes and backed away.

"Yes, _he _will be the one to destroy her…" Saeru repeated gently, "Or he will have to destroy you. One of you will die at his hand. How beautiful." She smiled and stroked a cold hand slowly across Zelda's face. "So long, my doomed little friend."

"Wait!" Shouted Zelda, but it was too late. Saeru was gone.

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**Well sorry firstly that the chapter's a bit shorter than usual. Also sorry for the cryptic clues in there as to who Xeial is, all will be revealed in the next chapter. In the mean time, maybe see if you can guess her identity. Maybe I will surprise you…**


	30. Persuasion

**Thank you I.K., mysterygal3189, Links Ocarina Babe, Xioarose, and Booklover13 for reviewing, as always, I appreciate your comments! 'Tis a miracle I've actually updated in less than a month! I hope you enjoy this chapter, it was fun to write but I'm still not sure if it's that good. Oh well…I'll let you guys be the judges of that!**

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Chapter Thirty – Persuasion

"Things would be so much easier for you, sweetheart, if you just told me what I wanted to know."

Nabooru leaned provocatively over Link's prone body and grinned at him. He stared up at her, completely unimpressed. Given that he was currently stretched out over a rack, with various welts and bruises over his bare torso, with zero chance of escape, she was a little annoyed that as yet her people had not broken him. On Ganondorf's orders her officers had been keeping him at a state of near-death, with daily sessions of what could only be described as torture but he wasn't apparently intimidated by this. Up to this point she had stayed away. She did not agree with torture as a method of extracting information in any circumstance.

She had not voiced these concerns of hers to her King, for fear he would view her reluctance as a weakness but had managed to be excused from the affair on the basis of her history with Link. Even Ganondorf, who knew little of their past interactions, could understand her reasons for not wanting to be the one to interrogate a past friend. However, today, he had changed his mind. Whether or not she agreed with his methodology, Nabooru was his most formidable soldier. She had been used by him over the years as both diplomat and spy and knew that nobody was better than her at extracting information. So he had commanded her to 'work her magic' on the prisoner, and she could not disobey.

They had to find out the whereabouts of the final Dream Snatcher and the only person who would know was Link. For a whole hour, Nabooru had been trying to pry the information from him without using excessive force, but to no avail. Link had remained courteous but aloof, and was refusing to co-operate. She had never met anyone so frustrating.

"You are only making things worse by remaining silent. You know I'd hate to put some more scars on that pretty body of yours, Link, but you are leaving me with no other option. You can't protect the Chameleon Stone from Ganondorf, and even if you could, you know as well as I do that something must have to be done about it. So why not just co-operate and tell me where Xeial might be. That's all we want to know. So why not just tell me?"

"I would tell you, providing of course that I knew the answer, if I was a coward who was afraid of a pathetic little girl who thinks she can scare me into submission. Do you really think I'm scared of you, Nabooru?" Replied Link, in his cheeriest manner.

"Not at all, Link." She replied, smiling. "I know you very well. That is why I am having such fun now. You have no idea how much I like seeing you suffer."

"Can't see why you would, given that you've barely even scratched my skin this last hour." He retorted, "Not unless you're still sore after I paid you in pebbles for that horse years ago, but I thought we were well past that. In fact, the thing I remember most about you is what the last thing you said to me was before you left to serve your precious king. Something about how you 'wished you'd known I'd grow to be such a handsome man, you'd have got your claws into me when you had the…'"

"Shut up." She snapped. For a moment her eyes rested on his face and a flash of regret passed across her face. "We were fun whilst we lasted." She admitted. "But you are just a boy."

"And let me guess, Ganondorf is a real man, huh?" Link grinned at her and shook his head. "You know he's insane, don't you? You do realise he is the man who bought 'the holey bucket' from me."

"No." Nabooru remembered the occasion clearly. Link had come in one day from the desert carrying a rusty bucket, proclaiming it to be his new best friend. On Nabooru's recommendation that the thing should be tossed back on to the rubbish heap where he'd found it, he'd taken instant offence. He boasted that the bucket would become the most valuable item in his tent, and she betted it wouldn't. The loser of the wager promised to make dinner for a week. Link had grabbed the bucket and trotted off into the desert, grinning and Nabooru had began creating a list of the most extravagant foods she could think of for him to cook for her. She was only halfway through this when he'd returned minus the bucket and twenty gold pieces richer. There had been no doubt he had sold the bucket for he had witnesses to prove it. He said he had sold it to some fool who believed it had magical properties.

She glared at him, "You were also the one that sold him those magic beans aren't you?"

"Maybe." He smiled disarmingly at her, "Come on, Nabs, we had such fun together. Why don't you just let me go?"

"Not going to happen, unless you share some information with me." She snapped, returning to guard-mode, the wistful smile vanishing from her face. "I know just what you're playing at, you're coercion won't work against me now. I love my King."

"What's that got to do with anything? I love Zelda, big deal." He replied, grinning still. "I'm just saying, for old-times sake, you should let me go."

"And I'm saying for New-Times sake, there's not a hope in hell I'm letting you loose. Do you really think I'd betray Ganondorf like that?"

"Probably not. You always were stupidly loyal to your dimly-perceived principles. Ganon's Lackey I think you were called."

"At least I was not called 'The Silver-Tongued-Moron', as I remember you were called." Nabooru glared at him, "You know when we were together, people called me the Fool's Fool. They were not happy times."

"Weren't they? I quite liked them." Answered Link, cheekily. He flashed his disarming smile at her again. "Tell me, Nabs, does dear old Ganny know that you and I once had a bit of a fling?"

"No. And he is not going to. What's more, if you breathe a word of it to him, I will tell Zelda EVERYTHING I know about you. Then see how soon she tumbles out of love with you again."

"She's never actually said she loves me, you know. But never mind that, is she all right?" Asked Link, suddenly.

Despite her best intentions, Nabooru couldn't help herself feeling a slight tug when she heard that. It seemed that the wild youth that had entranced her had grown into a wholly admirable man, though his deplorable idiocy was still very evident in those blue eyes of his.

It was his eyes that had first struck her. She had been on guard duty at the Desert Fortress when they had met. He had wandered in at the tail end of a band of merchants, his clothes torn and armour battered. Calatians were always welcome in the Gerudo Desert, as they were enemies of Hyrule at the time, and he was easily identified as a Knight. She didn't realise until he was close just how malnourished he was. Despite this, he held his head high, and smiled cheerfully at her as he passed. There was just something impossibly attractive about the sparkle in his dark blue eyes.

She had invited him to her mother's home and there he had remained until he had recovered his strength. She had been far too proud to admit she was heartbroken when he left to live in the nomadic colonies deep in the desert, but had often gone to visit him. To this day she was still not sure if what she grew to feel for him was love or just infatuation. She told herself so often it was the latter, but on many silent nights, she would gaze at the stars in solitude and she would think of him.

She had been called to serve Ganondorf a year after he had arrived later and had not seen him since. Their goodbye had been as flippant as it was final and they had disagreed about her choice of career. She had told Ganondorf she had a grudge against him. This was only partly true – her only grudge, apart from bring annoyed at the many times he'd tricked her, was that he had never taken her seriously, yet they parted on amicable terms. Many years had passed since then, and she had long since convinced herself that she really did love her powerful King, but she always acknowledged a begrudging soft-spot for the idiotic Calatian.

It was irrelevant, of course. They were enemies now – he was working for the Hylians, looking for a way to dispossess her people from their seat of power, and she was working to help Ganondorf attain – well she didn't know what he was after, but she knew it was bad. By his own admission, Link was in love with Zelda. Having witnessed some of their exploits (via the Seeing Stone) and having observed his behaviour now, she could see that this wasn't just a fling, like the one they had shared. For Link, his affection for Zelda was a forever kind of bond. There would be no picking up the pieces of their past and starting again, like she had sometimes imagined they would so being nice to him now was all a bit pointless.

"Link?" She asked suddenly, her voice hushed. "What will happen if Ganondorf does get the power of the Chameleon Stone?"

"Don't you know?"

"If I knew I wouldn't have to bother asking you, would I?" She snapped back.

"I doubt you'd be helping him either if you really knew." He replied. "Nabs, there is a reason the Chameleon Stone was so closely guarded in Calatia, you know. There is a reason why I am so determined to get it back too. Saeru, the Goddess whose power is trapped in the stone, isn't altogether a good creature. Sure she can make dreams a reality, and her magic can change the very nature of a person or object, but she uses or used that power only for bad."

"And what do you mean by that?"

"If Ganondorf acquires the power of the Chameleon Stone he will be able to do anything he wants – be it good or bad – for a while, but sooner or later, she will get him. Even if by some miracle his intentions are good, Saeru's power is too strong, too much for a human to contain. It will corrupt him and make him the worst possible person he could be. Imagine him like that, with all his worst attributes magnified a hundred fold, and then tell me whether that is a good thing."

Nabooru considered this for a long moment; it didn't stretch her imagination greatly to picture the kind of man Ganondorf would be if this happened. "If what you say is true, then I understand why you want to stop him."

"I would wish to stop anybody who got their hands on Saeru's unholy power." Said Link. "She would corrupt even the best of people. That is why I want you to release me, Nabooru, whilst there is still time. If I can get the stone back to Calatia before her power is unlocked, I might have a chance of unstopping this whole thing. With Xeial's signet ring, Saeru could be sealed away once more and the Stone could be hidden away. That way, nobody will get killed."

"Killed? I take it you intend to kill Ganondorf?"

"I don't intend to kill anybody." Retorted Link, a flash of anger in his eyes. "Believe it or not, I don't actually like killing things, but if Ganondorf does take on Saeru's mantle, I will have no choice but to destroy him before she can corrupt his soul. It is what's best for everybody."

"It's surprisingly convenient for Hyrule too." Nabooru sighed and smiled at him, "You know you're problem, Link? You're a good liar – too good. I just don't know when to believe you. I've been fooled by you so many times before…"

"In this matter I am deadly serious." Interrupted Link, "Even if Zelda got corrupted, I would stop her…somehow…I have to. That is why you must let me go, Nabooru, please?"

"Even Zelda, eh? Well, like I say, it's impossible to know when you are telling the truth. I'll let you escape, Link, IF you tell me who Xeial is. You do know, don't you?" She smiled as she saw a flash of guilt in his eyes. "Well…?"

"If I knew I wouldn't tell you." He retorted. "We've been through this before."

"But you know, don't you? Or at least you think you know." She sighed again, and played with the diamond ring on her finger. "You know Ganondorf holds all the cards. I am a Gerudo first, Nabooru second. I will always remain loyal to my king. As stupid as it sounds, I made a vow to him to serve him and whether I agree with him or not, I will fulfil my oath. If you choose not to tell me the location of the final Dream Snatcher I cannot say what Ganondorf will do to you but he will get the truth from you eventually, even if it means ripping through your very thoughts. He has powerful magic at his disposal…when he's finished extracting everything he wants from you, you will be just a shell. I – I don't want to see that happen to you, but believe me, it will if you continue to be stubborn."

"It will take more than a few idle threats to break my resolve, Nabooru. Don't forget, I was raised to be a Knight of Calatia. I fear nothing."

"You fear nothing for yourself, but what of Zelda? How much could you stand to see her suffer before you would break? I'll bet you'd soon come around to our way of thinking if anything…bad…were to happen to her." Nabooru studied his face for a long moment, watching the emotions flicker in his eyes. She knew she had hit a sore point with him. No matter how he protested, his instinct was to protect Zelda. The easiest way for them to break through his defence would therefore be to use her as a tool against him. Nabooru wondered why nobody had thought of the strategy earlier. Much as she hated what she was doing, as she had stated, her loyalty was to her King. She was honour-bound to do all she could to help him achieve his aims.

"How typically underhand of you, Nabooru." Sneered Link, his eyes dark with rage. "That's just the sort of Gerudo trick I should have expected of you. Guess you're just as rotten as the rest of your people. You can't win by conventional methods, so you prey on those weaker than you."

"It's called tactics, Link. All's fair in love and war. Now then, before I order my troops to bring Zelda here for a little…mental stimulation…shall we say, are you going to tell me what I want to know? Where is Xeial?" She saw Link hesitate and knew she had won. He knew her well enough to know that she was as good as her word. Ganondorf would be delighted with her. She just wished she didn't feel so terrible for what she was doing.

"Like I said I don't know who she is or where she is." Replied Link, though it was through gritted teeth. She knew that every word was torture to him but he had little choice but to talk. He didn't want Zelda to suffer. "If I tell you what I know will you promise not to harm Zelda?"

"You know the answer, Link." Beyond the cold front she presented to him, Nabooru was feeling a little deflated. Surely Link would not be won over so easily? Was his loyalty to the girl stronger than his loyalty to his country? She knew how much he had once loved his homeland, yet he was prepared to betray it all for the sake of a woman he wasn't even sure loved him in return. It seemed that in growing up, her old friend had learned to be unselfish.

He did know the answer. Nabooru had never broken a promise to him, good or bad, and her word was her bond. If he talked, Zelda would be safe for now. He sighed and averted his gaze from the Gerudo. "Fine, you win. I'll tell you what I know." He began, "Xeial switched her allegiance to Lefestra soon after they met and committed her life into his service. She was at his side when Saeru was finally captured and the Chameleon Stone was created. Though he never disclosed precisely what happened to his lover, Lefestra apparently kept close to him throughout his life. Legend said after his death she retreated to the shadows to watch over his interests from afar. I guess that she's therefore somebody close to either the Royal family of Calatia, or somebody who is going to do all she can to protect Lefestra's spiritual successor from harm. Given that, I think it's got to be either…"

"Link, stop. That's enough." Said Nabooru suddenly. Her conscience, which played very little part in much of her day to day life, had been acutely troubled during Link's speech. Much as she enjoyed victory, she could not bear the thought of how it had been attained. She despised herself for what she had done to him, and what he had said about Saeru's influence over people had scared her. If he was right then he was the only one who would be able to stop the goddess. "Please, don't say another word." She added, smiling a little ruefully. "I don't want to know. You've told me enough information to satisfy my king at any length."

"Nabooru?"

"This is for Old Time's sake," She murmured, turning away. Throughout her morning with Link, she had been struggling with two parts of herself. One part was fond enough of him to want to protect him from harm; the other half of her was fiercely loyal to her king. The fight within her had gone on for too long. It drained her too much and as faithful to Ganondorf as she was, she couldn't just forget everything she had liked about Link. "You were once somebody important to me and I cannot see you suffer like this. Though I cannot release you, I can do something for you. Though I can no longer be your friend I will always remember our past."

"What…?"

"GUARDS!"

"Nabooru, what are you…?"

Nabooru ignored him and turned to face the soldiers that had rushed in. "Ah, Captain Loki, lock this fiend up with that other pathetic Hylian."

"You mean…with the Girl, ma'am?"

Nabooru's golden eyes narrowed dangerously. "Do you to question my order, Loki?"

"Ah no, not at all, ma'am."

"Well, snap to it then, I must report to King Ganondorf immediately." With those words Nabooru stalked from the room, never once looking back.

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"…and that's what's happened so far." Link smiled down at Zelda and added, with a touch of mischief in his voice, "You know, so far I've managed to escape having my ribs broken so I'd be obliged if you would refrain from inflicting that particular injury on me, sweetheart. Don't hug me so tightly!"

"Sorry. I'm just so pleased to see you. I thought you had died and I was so…alone and…hey, don't read anything into that." Replied Zelda, as she hastily released him. "Are you sure they didn't hurt you too much? You look...bad."

Link's mind flicked over images of his ordeal over the last two weeks: the things he had suffered, the battering his body had taken and the mental anguish he had faced, and cringed inwardly. "I am fine, Zel." He replied, a little quietly. "It's nothing I won't live through."

"What about here?" Zelda gently rested a hand over his midriff, where Nabooru had stabbed him. She felt him jump slightly and heard his sharp intake of breath. "Still sore, huh?" She whispered.

"It hurts like hell. Heck, my whole body does but I'll survive. I'm alive and I'm with you, I feel better already."

Zelda blushed in the darkness and took a slight step away from him. It wouldn't do to encourage him, she decided, not at least until she had sorted out in her own head what exactly she felt about him. She had been shocked when the guards had flung him into her cell. She had almost given up all hope of seeing him again. She was so used to denying that she felt anything other than a hint of attraction towards him, nothing deeper, she could hardly credit the overwhelming joy she felt when she realised he was alive. Yet, she could not deny the feeling either.

"The question is, why did Nabooru throw you in with me?" She managed to ask.

"To cheer me up, I guess." Joked Link, "She understands me pretty well, I guess. Nothing boosts the spirits than being able to ogle your favourite floozy in the pathetic light of one dim lantern, only visible through a tiny hole in your cell door. The way the light reflects of the filthy, wet walls and rests on your shadow is so pretty; it makes me want to weep. It touches my soul in so many ways I…"

"I don't wish to know in what ways you believe you've been touched, Link." Interrupted Zelda, smiling despite herself. "It will in no doubt be in a very unspeakably rude manner that you will find amusing and I will find offensive, so let's just stick to the facts. Why did Nabooru stop the inquisition just when she was winning and why did she insist on throwing you in here with me?"

"Dunno, perhaps she hoped that once I've been confined in such…um…compact quarters with you for a certain length of time might induce me to speak again on the subject of the final dream snatcher. Maybe she believes that I will find such existence beyond the limits of my endurance and that by the end of the week I'll be singing like a bird."

"Dare I ask what do you mean by that?"

"Exactly what I said, maybe she thinks by the end of the week I'll be begging for release, promising to do anything – just get me away from that Zelda-witch!"

"_Zelda-witch_?"

"Zelda-witch." Link repeated the insult firmly, chuckled and took a step towards her. Zelda backed again and bumped into the wall.

"Are you daring to suggest that being locked in here with me is some kind of psychotic Gerudo mind game designed to get you to talk?"

"Uh-huh." Linked stepped forward again.

"Even though the thought of them harming me was, according to you, the simple catalyst they needed to use to make you spill the beans?"

"Of course that's what I'm suggesting. Much as I can't bear the though of them hurting you, even worse is the thought of being confined in a room with you that is barely big enough for one person to lie in, in almost complete darkness with one single, probably inept guard, watching over us. That's true torture."

Zelda eyed him suspiciously. Though it was difficult to see his face in the dim light of the cell, she knew exactly what expression he had on his face. She could hear it in his voice. He was smiling that delightfully evil smile and his eyes would be filled with angelic innocence and he was standing far too close to her too. She could feel the heat from his body and she didn't like the way it make her feel so vulnerable. Given that she was convinced he knew her well enough to know when she was getting flustered, she tried to keep her head up and her tone cool and confident. "True torture? I find that difficult to believe. True torture to you would be to go three days without a mirror."

"Well, there isn't a mirror in here, is there? That's one box ticked but that's only mild torture to me. Shall I tell you what I mean?" Chuckled Link, he leaned forward slightly so that his cheek was almost touching hers. She could feel his breath on her neck and shoulders. She couldn't control the shiver that shot down the length of her spine. A tiny flash of light surrounded her body in response to her emotions. It lit the air around them and for the briefest moment she could see him clearly. She wasn't surprised to see an all-too-familiar smirk on his face though his eyes were closed. "This is true torture," he whispered, his voice barely above a breath. Zelda gulped and unsuccessfully attempted to repress another shiver.

"I-invading my personal space is torture? For w-whom?" She managed to retort. She would have been better pleased with herself if she had managed to control her voice a little better. Just because her heart was trembling didn't mean her voice had to follow suit, did it?

"From the sounds of it, probably you." Said Link, breathing the answer into her ears. The air around them was lit by tiny sparks again and he grinned to himself. He rested a hand against her cheek lightly and a familiar, if not slightly painful, jolt of lightning struck him. Compared to her usual attacks, it seemed a little half-hearted. She made no attempt to slap his hand away and her skin was warm. He let the hand slide down her face to her chin, his touch purposefully soft. He waited until he heard the soft tap-tap of the Guard's sandals as she began her rounds before allowing finger to run across her lips.

It was unusual for her to be so passive, he thought, relishing the moment. Normally any attempt at affection on his part led to him being injured in some way. The soft tapping grew louder but Zelda hadn't noticed. 'This will go one of two ways,' thought Link, closing his eyes. He could feel Zelda tremble at his touch. She was just a hair's breadth from him. "But seriously," He continued, very softly, "This is torture."

"Why?" She whispered.

"Because you'll never let me do this…" Slowly he moved his head and she stopped breathing and very gently kissed her. The air around them glowed even brighter as Zelda's magic reacted to her surprise.

Link pulled away and smiled at her, "Hmm, something's not right. I've not been slapped yet." He remarked.

"Um…that's…," Stammered Zelda feebly, before being rudely cut off as Link lowered his head and kissed her for a second time. A good few emotions ran through Zelda this time. This wasn't like the last few times he'd kissed her, when he'd done it to annoy her. This was something else, something more meaningful and it was making her feel things that she really wasn't prepared to feel. And just as she realised that she was enjoying him kissing her far more than she should, she realised that her arms had wrapped themselves around his neck and was kissing him back. This would not do at all, she realised. Her brain made an attempt to encourage her arms to push him away, but her arms responded by clinging to him even tighter.

In the back of his mind, Link heard the guard's footsteps even closer and realised that he needed to up the ante. Much as he was enjoying himself, he did have an ulterior motive for what he was doing. His mind ran through a few solutions in a mere instant. Suddenly he hit upon the perfect solution.

The room suddenly became filled with a miraculous glow of a million lightning bolts melted with searing flames that poured from Zelda's body. Link flew across the room in a beautiful arc, his clothes smouldering, and landed in a heap against the opposite wall.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Yelled Zelda. Link had 'squeeze-tested' her. Before she could vent her righteous anger on him for such vile molestation, the cell door was flung open and the guard sprinted in, sword drawn. A similar question was on her lips. For a brief second the two women stared at one another. The next moment, the guard screamed and dropped to the floor.

"I'm escaping, how 'bout you?" Link replied, grinning mischievously. He quickly bound the woman's arms and legs together and dragged her into the darkest corner of the cell. He had tangled her legs with his and had knocked to the floor. The scream would have alerted the other guards in the adjoining corridors that something was amiss. They only had a brief window of chance to escape. It was a shame, he thought, that his mind wasn't quite clear yet. He would dearly have loved to have a moment to reflect on that rather lovely moment when Zelda had kissed him back but he really didn't have the time. He glanced up at her. She seemed to be frozen to the spot, staring at him like he was some kind of bug that had just crawled out of her shoe. "Are you coming?"

Coming with you?" Zelda repeated his words faintly. "Why would I do that, Pervert?"

"I had to do that, sorry. I don't have time to explain but we've got to go now!" He acknowledged things hadn't gone quite the way he had hoped. He had wanted to kiss her. He had wanted a typical furious-Zelda-reaction-to-being-kissed to entice the guard into the cell. But Zelda's reaction hadn't been furious at all, the light that had surrounded them had been sweet and innocent and not at all remarkable. However, her reaction to the 'squeeze test' had been perfect. He just hoped his plan hadn't backfired too much. Right now she looked like she loathed him, it was written all over her face.

"Zelda, listen, Nabooru put me in your cell because she knew I could escape, but I'm not going anywhere without you. Please, just trust me…"

"After that?"

"I could have done something much worse!" Link grinned wickedly at her, and though she glared at him, the corners of her mouth twitched. "I'd hate to know what that was." She sighed.

"Maybe one day you will. Please, forgive me. Pretty please?" He replied, still grinning.

Zelda choked on a giggle and stretched her hand forward. "Fine, I forgive you though it is against all my better judgement. Alas, it must have become greatly impaired when I lived as you!"

"Probably true! I'll bet your mind's gone AWOL too. Anyways, we'd get escaping before the guards get here. Let's go bag ourselves a Xeial, shall we?"

"Sounds like a plan to me." Said Zelda. Not for the first time she wished that he hadn't got her wrapped around his finger quite so well. By rights she should still be furious with him, but here she was giggling. It was his eyes, she decided. He was just too cute to be mad at. He smiled at her and took her hand and she blushed. "Go on then, lead the way, Stinkypoo."

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**Sorry, you'll have to wait 'til next time to find out who Xeial is, promise I'll tell ya soon. Though this chapter was quite fun to write, it's not exactly how I'd hoped it would be and Link's relationship with Nabooru wasn't too confusing. Anyway, please review and let me know what you think. Hoped you liked the *ahem* fluff!**


	31. Xeial

**A huge thank you to la Generala, QuinKilo1055, Link's Ocarina Babe, Giant-flying-radish-of-doom and Mysterygal3189 for filling my life with a warm fuzzy feeling for your reviews! I really do appreciate any feedback you guys give me, even if it's to say I'm mental (or the story is!) anyway, I'm not fishing for compliments, of course, but please do feel free to review (and make me happy!)**

**A happy author updates more frequently :P**

**Er, anyways, here's the latest installment: Get ready to meet the Final Dream Snatcher....**

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**Chapter Thirty One – Xeial**

"Do you ever get the feeling we are being followed?"

"No."

Rauru glanced around nervously and shuddered to himself. Somehow Impa's cold reaction to his question wasn't really very reassuring. She stalked ahead of him, head held high despite the drizzle, which coated everything in tiny droplets of cold rain. Rauru walked with his fellow judge, Kru, a few safe paces behind her. Ever since they had left Aganhim's stronghold, her temper had been alarmingly volatile. Neither he nor Kru wanted to do anything to exacerbate the situation.

"I just wish that stupid axel hadn't broken." Muttered Kru, almost to himself. Impa turned and glared at him and he backed away slightly. That the broken axel that led to their carriage toppling over, their two horses becoming lame and their journey time being quadrupled was not his fault, but the way Impa looked at him almost made him believe it was. Rauru shot him a sympathetic look and tried not to feel deflated as his boots sank into a deep patch of mud. He turned to Rauru and noted his friend's face was alarmingly pale. "Is something wrong?" He asked.

"I just feel like there is something…trailing us…" He said, trying in vain to capture Impa's attention. She glared at him too.

"I don't care." She snapped. She stopped and sighed. "Look, I know this is not the best situation and believe me I am as tired as I am certain you are. These last few days have been very trying but don't you see – there is something more important than any of us at stake here. If we can help, then it is our duty as Judges, elected by the people themselves, to do something to assist. It is not just because she is danger that I run to Zelda's side – it is because she is our only hope of righting the wrongs of this nation. You know that as well as I do - we must rescue her."

Rauru blinked in surprise at his rare glimpse of Impa: The Human. Only he knew how tired she was to even consider uttering such an open statement. For her that was almost pleading for their help. He knew, of course, that she did actually care for Zelda as if she was her own daughter, though she did have a rather odd way of showing it, and imagined that this ordeal was rather harrowing for her. She grimaced slightly and straightened her shoulders. "If we are being followed, there is nothing we can do about it, Rauru. We must proceed to the castle."

"I know." Rauru took a wary step forward. He was acutely conscious of the way his colleague could, and often did, change on a whim. Though she seemed as vulnerable as a kitten at the moment, the next second she could become as fearsome as a lioness again. He tentatively patted her arm and smiled. "We'll be alright. I am sure that nothing bad will happen to Zelda. She is too valuable too Ganondorf for him to want to hurt her and as far as we know, Link is still with her."

"If that moron is her only protection then may the goddesses help her!"

"Um, Impa, I don't…ah…know if it escaped your attention when we…er…last….saw your delightful ward….but…er…"

"Spit it out, Rauru."

Kru ambled forward at this point and helpfully pointed out what Rauru had been attempting to say. "It was pretty obvious the boy was in love with her."

"Not true." Began Impa before suddenly stopping and glaring into the distance, she remembered what the other two did not know. When they had last seen the young couple, they had been trapped in each other's bodies. That meant that her esteemed companions had thought Link – who was actually Zelda at the time – was in love with Zelda – who had been Link. That meant, unless Zelda had developed extreme narcissistic tendencies during her month of freedom, she had been exhibited some undesirable behaviour. The very idea that her ward could be stupid enough be infatuated with such a wayward idiot as Link was so ridiculous Impa almost sniggered aloud. She contented herself with a contemptuous snort instead and asked her fellows what their deluded imaginings had to do with anything.

"Well, I suppose if he is in love with her, there is nothing he won't do to protect her, so therefore I suppose if she is with him, then she will be safe." Supposed Kru, trying very hard to avoid meeting Impa's eyes. He coughed politely and continued nervously, "I know we dislike him and he is not a desirable party to even be considered as a potential suitor, even if he is a descendant of a Calatian King, which I doubt, but if he loves her…"

"Shut up, Kru." Snapped Impa. She had heard more than enough of his ramblings for one morning. She could barely put up with him at the best of times, let alone on a rainy morning when she had spent the best part of the night before tramping across the vast fields of Hyrule with only a very inadequate raincoat to protect her.

"Kru's right." Rauru added, he manfully met Impa's eyes for a second. She was almost surprised by his bravery (or foolhardiness). "We might not like it but it wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing if the Calatian Prince made an off…"

"I dare you to continue that sentence. I just dare you." Growled Impa. Her eyes had narrowed to a point where they had almost closed. Rauru gulped and felt suddenly that his collar was too tight. He backed away from her slightly. She glared at him until his chubby face was as white as his beard and then snorted. "Calatian Prince indeed. You sound as stupid as him. Zelda needs rescuing from that imbecile more than anything else and…now what is it, Kru?"

"Much as I dislike stating the obvious, my dear Impa but didn't you employ Link? Not only that but didn't you employ him without first consulting us, which to this day I still hold as an example of a gross affront, an example that will not soon be forgotten by this…" He met Rauru's eyes and saw the clear message emblazoned in his panic-filled eyes and immediately stopped his tirade. Now was not the time to drag up past insults and fling them in the face of the touchy judge. "Er…anyway, it matters not." He finished lamely.

"No-no, please. I insist – what was the point you were so desperate to make before my good fellow judge, Rauru, so rudely cut you off?" Impa smiled with such false sweetness that Kru visible shuddered.

"Um…it doesn't matter." He answered.

"Tell me, Kru."

" I don't think I will."

"Won't you now?"

Rauru feebly interjected at this moment, pointing out the inclemency of the weather and the urgency of their mission but his fellows paid him no heed. He wished there was a way of silencing the pair so they could continue their unpleasant journey in relative peace. It was like travelling very slowly with a pair of petulant school children. He just wasn't the man to control them. Daphnes, Zelda's grandfather, had been excellent at curbing Impa's temper and Kru's peevishness.

Kru's peevishness was being clearly demonstrated. It seemed to naturally react to Impa's temper. The angrier she got, the more Kru tried (and generally succeeded) to annoy her. It was a vicious circle and there was nothing Rauru could do to stop one of their full blown rows.

"TELL ME NOW, YOU BAG OF PUTRID, ROTTING CUCCO LOVE SACKS"

"HOW DARE YOU, IMPA! HOW VERY DARE YOU!" Kru was almost purple with rage as he faced off against the furious sheikah judge. He tittered mirthlessly and then, will little attempt to disguise the bitter anger in his voice, "You want to know what so amuses me about your little delusions about your precious, innocent ward and your attitude towards her cavalier? You want to know what is so pathetic about you? Well I'll tell you…oh I'll tell you good!"

Rauru sighed and closed his eyes, silently praying for instant removal from this plane of existence. Surely he deserved better than this? Kru's voice cut into his mind's attempts to escape. Apparently, he didn't deserve better.

"…you go on and on an on about how your ward, your darling little Zelda, won't fall for this _Calatian Idiot_, that she is too clever, that we are deluded for thinking she will. Well let me tell you, Impa, you are the deluded one." Here he poked her arm with a bony finger. Impa was white with fury. "How many girls do you know that wouldn't fall for the charms of a handsome buffoon hell-bent on wooing her? Well, normal girls that is – you wouldn't because you aren't normal. And besides that – who was the one that hired the said Calatian Idiot to go rescue her ward in the first place? Who was the one who sent him off to save her from Ganondorf without consulting with her fellows? Who was the one who completely spat upon the careful plans of her fellows without a second glance because she thought she knew best? Who is now running quick to blame this problem on her fellows? You! That's who! This is your fault! If you don't want the Calatian boy to protect Zelda, why did you pay him to do the very same thing in the first place?"

"I sent him to go and destroy Ganondorf." Retorted Impa. She wasn't quite sure how she should react to this diatribe. She couldn't argue the case. What Kru said was almost true. She _had_ been the one to hire Link.

"Yes, but you knew Zelda was held captive at his castle and I'll bet you knew a boy like him would rush to help her the very moment he got a whiff of her being held against her will. You knew he'd rescue her. You just wanted him to do it for free." Kru smiled irritatingly. Impa said nothing, thus compounding his victory. She couldn't deny that.

"For three grown people, you don't half talk some rubbish." Came a soft voice from behind them. Their argument was instantly forgotten and as one, they swung around. There was nothing there. Impa quelled the shocked beating of her heart and glanced around. Barely a blade of grass had moved; there was not a footprint in the sodden ground. She rested her hand lightly against the hilt of her dagger and gazed into the growing darkness. "Show yourself." She demanded.

There was no response. Impa frowned and took another look at the ground. The voice had been real and unrecognisable and had come from nearby but there was no evidence of there being anybody nearby. She was just about to turn to her frightened companions and tell them to continue their journey when a sudden movement caught her eye.

There was an odd shadow rushing across the grass towards them. Impa drew her dagger as the shadow flew towards them. As it moved closer, it seemed to take on a form, almost as if it was growing out of the ground. Before she could wonder what kind of creature the shadow was, it shifted again. Was it a horse or a dog or a bird or a dragon or a human? It seemed to be all of them and yet none. Before she could actually voice any of her thoughts, the shadow shot across their path again and leapt ahead of them and stopped abruptly.

It was a shadow, there was no doubt of that, and as they watched, it seemed to melt into the ground, dissolving into nothing. Impa opened her mouth to shout a warning, but before her vocal chords had activated, she was stunned into silence again. Her mouth remained open. The shadow was rapidly growing. Its growth was treelike, the darkness sprouted from the ground as a thin black line first and as it grew taller, its stem (if it could be called that) thickened, and the shoot split in two. As the two branches came to rest, one each side of the shadow's body, the shadow's form changed. The curves of a female body came into existence, a head, arms and legs became clearly defined and slowly colour rippled over her body, changing the shadow to flesh and bone and cloaking her in colours.

The woman stood before them, her face completely impassive. She had no need to study the judges' faces as eagerly as they studied hers. She knew them pretty well by now and had formed a rather decided opinion of them. They would be seeing her in her real form – a form she had not used for an awfully long time. She did not even remember what her real form looked like.

"W-who are you?" Stammered Impa. She had certainly never seen the woman before. She would have remembered her.

"You don't know? Why don't that shock me?" Mused the stranger. Her voice was odd – slow, determinedly calm but with a snarl in its depths. She sniffed and stared at Impa. "I'm just who you're looking for. I'm Xeial."

"Xeial?" Repeated the judges in unison. They each craned forward to take a better look at the final Dream Snatcher.

She watched them calmly, a hint of mockery lighting her pale blue eyes. She was tall and lithe and proud. Her face was striking rather than beautiful, her features were a little too sharp to be considered pretty and an ugly scar ran right the way across it, from ear to ear but there was something about her that caught the eye. Her hair was a deep gold colour and fell around her shoulders in loose tumbled waves. She cocked an eyebrow at Impa.

"You're Xeial?" She asked, faintly.

"Yep?"

"But…but…" Stammered the normally outspoken judge, she gulped and took a breath "You are a Gerudo!"

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"This way!" Link darted so sharply to the side that Zelda's arm was almost wrenched from its socket. He swung her through an open doorway and pushed her against a wall in the shadows, he stood with his back to her, shielding her as best he could. Hidden in the darkness, they dared not even breathe as noise of pursuit drew closer.

His heart was pounding in his chest. Not good. Link had always prided himself on being in tip-top physical condition, but not even his well-trained body could emerge without a blemish after two weeks in a Gerudo Prison. The lack of food and injuries done to him were taking their toll after on a few minutes of flight. He knew Zelda was not doing any better either. Certainly, her food intake had surpassed his (for what need did Ganondorf have of him?) but the Gerudo's hadn't exactly treated her as an honoured guest. They were both exhausted and malnourished and for once Link's usual optimism had deserted him.

The footsteps drew closer and the troop leader barked out a few quick orders. Link pushed his body further back into the dark recess he had found and closed his eyes. He held the sword he had stolen from their guard behind his back. He felt Zelda's hand slip over his and he smiled slightly. Whatever happened, he was determined that she would get out of the castle. He knew he would have to fight and he was willing to fight, he just wished he could be confident his body would last for more than a minute.

The guards were checking each room. Doors up and down the corridor were being opened and slammed closed and shouts of "Clear" filled the air. Given the amount of time taken between the shouts, Link guessed that they were doing a sweep search. He hoped that would work in their favour. The shouts grew closer along with the footsteps.

"Clear!"

"Clear!"

Link opened one eye and craned his head back so he could peer through the gap in the doorway. On the opposite side of the corridor he saw a guard flinging the door open. She held a lantern up in the room and glanced around and then marched out, slamming the door behind her.

"Clear." She shouted.

Link realised that his eyes had closed on their own account. He would have smiled at his childish reaction to danger had he not been so convinced of their immediate discovery. The soldier's feet padded gently towards their hiding place. Through closed lids, Link could feel the light sweeping through the room. It would only be a matter of an instant before its soft yellow beam would land on them. His hand tightened on the hilt of his sword compulsively.

"Clear."

The word was so unexpected and so close to them that it was hardly surprising that he jumped. Behind him, Zelda managed to control her own usual reaction to the startling by channelling her magic into Link's back, for which he would later thank her. He gritted his teeth against the pain and as the telltale padding of feet sounded again, he ventured to open one eye.

Nabooru was standing in the middle of the room holding a lantern. She met Link's confused look with the blandest of smiles and shouted 'Clear' again. She raised a finger as his mouth opened and shook her head slightly. Link was just about to demand an explanation of her when a voice sounded in the passage.

"Other paths are clear, Captain. What are your orders?"

"Proceed to the West Wing, I will be there directly."

"Yes Sir."

The soft thud of three pairs of feet marching into the distance could be heard. Nabooru waited until the room had fallen silent again before turning her attention back to Link. A slightly softer smile lit her face as she met his eyes again but she silenced him again with a slight shake of her head. She pretended to look around the room again, taking particular note of the bottom left corner of the wall.

"There appears to be a loose brick there." She mused, as if to herself. "I must inform the castle mason." She crossed the room and knelt at the offending wall. Gently she rocked a brick from side to side, sliding it out with comparative ease. She held the lantern to the darkness behind. "How odd, there seems to be a passage there." She whispered, again as if to herself. "Wonder where it could lead? The witches quarters perhaps? Certainly not the North Wing where you are, King Ganondorf. Hmmm, it must be investigated." She stood and brushed the dust off her clothes. She glanced around the room again, "Would you like me to look now or later, Sire?"

"Later's good. Check the other corridors, Nabs." Ganondorf's voice floated through the air from nowhere and everywhere all at once. Zelda zapped Link for the second time in as many minutes. So Ganondorf was spying on Nabooru?

"Can't the Seeing Stone find the escapees, Sir?" Called Nabooru, barely glancing at Link but sending him another clear message of warning. It was duly noted. Link was obediently still and silent.

Ganondorf chuckled in a hideously wicked manner, making the whole room reverberate unpleasantly. Zelda's grip on Link's hand tightened. "Yeah, funny thing that. I only seem to be able to get it to train on you at the moment, Nabooru. Kotake said it's tapped into my subconscious imaginings and that to visualise the prisoner's I should concentrate on them, but the thing is, you are wearing a really pretty pair of pants today and I just can't help but think how nice they'd look against the blood red velvet of my throne. Whaddya say? Want to take some time of your work and come visit your king for a bit?"

"Sure, why not? It'd be a pleasure." Replied Nabooru in an almost sunny manner, she smiled into the darkness and adopted a sultry pose. Link was near enough to see the look of distaste visible in her golden eyes. He had the feeling Nabooru didn't like being hit on in public. "I'll be there in two minutes, Sir."

"Oh goodie."

"And Sir?"

"Yes, Suger Plum?"

"I have to say, Sir, that if you spy on me again I will send Mr Pinky Beak, Goldie Feathers and Little Duckle-Quack for their first flying lesson through the nearest window."

There was a silence, oddly enough accompanied by some sloshing water sounds. Nabooru raised an eyebrow and an odd smirk lit her face.

"…Nabs, are you...um...threatening me?" Came the response at last, uttered in what was supposed to be an un-intimated voice, but alas, the King sounded somewhat shaken by Nabooru's words.

"Of course not, Sir, it was a joke." Laughed Nabooru. Ganondorf was too busy sighing with relief and gathering his yellow babies to his breast to notice the I'm-so-not-joking-look on his subordinate's face. Nabooru glanced at Link for the final time and she nodded at him. "I'll see you soon." She said, as addressing Ganondorf, all the while her eyes were fixed on the Calatian. He understood the message and as she marched from the room he raised his hand in farewell.

**

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**

"Of course I'm Gerudo." Said Xeial, rolling her pale blue eyes. "What did ya expect?"

Impa blinked and rapidly tore through her memories of Aganhim's lecture about the Dream Snatchers. There had been something in there about Xeial – she had been a Hylian General. A General of the Hylian army could not – would not, be a Gerudo? Surely not? Impa tried to formulate these thoughts into a semblance of a sentence and failed miserably.

Xeial tilted her head as she listed, concentrating very hard on Impa's babbling. Fortunately for the Judges (and for Xeial) her mind was very quick and she was fiercely intelligent. "You do know a true Gerudo'd never have blue eyes, don't you?" She asked, once Impa had finished her rambling speech. The three judges did know but didn't answer. Xeial flashed a wide grin at them, unsettling them all, and said very gently "I'm only half Gerudo. The other half is pure Hylian royalty. Surely you knew that? No? Hmm, well I guess my lineage don't really matter much, given that it's all but extinct but let me just tell you that my mother was the King's little sister and my father was the then Gerudo King. I believe it were hoped when I was born, I'd have little trace of the Gerudo in me, but alas it wasn't to be. As you so rightly said, I'm unmistakably Gerudo, and unfortunately like at most time throughout our country's history, the Hylian's fear the Gerudo so my mother couldn't marry my father. Anyways, the long 'n' short of it was that the King wanted to get rid of me easily, so he made me a General and put me in charge of the front lines. Guessed he hoped I'd die quickly." Xeial studied her long fingers for a moment, a gentle smile softening her face. "Shame for my Uncle, I'm a little bit indestructible."

"Indestructable?"

"Why yes! I've always had a charmed life. Guess I lucked out with my parents – one was a powerful sorcerer, the other a sage. You wouldn't believe the amounts of spells and charms and incantations there are on me. I suppose that's what saved me from that Saeru. She couldn't curse me, not properly, and because I knew I was…well…kind of immortalish, I didn't fear her or anything. There was nothing she could do to me, or so I thought. Turns out I was wrong but never mind. What's to mind now is what are we gonna do next?"

"We?" Asked Impa, a little faintly.

"Oh so you're not going to try and save your precious Zelda, are you? You want Ganondorf to take Saeru's power as his own, do you?" Xeial grinned again, and Impa suddenly realised why it was she found the young woman so disturbing. The grin reminded her of a dog's snarl. "That's just so precious" Added the Dream Snatcher, taking irony and sneering to a whole new level of derision. Impa had never felt like she was a worm before, but now she was almost prepared to fall flat on her belly and start wiggling. "You three are the most noble, valiant persons I've ever come across. Congratultions." Xeial's wide-eyed sincerity shook all three judges to the core. There was something very sinister about Xeial and all three had the impression that should she choose to, she could hurt them. A lot.

"Um, of course we'll join you." Stammered Impa. For the first time in her life, she realised she had well and truly met her match. Now she knew what her poor fellow judges had to face every day. She began to feel a little sorry for them.

"Good, because for a minute there I thought you guys were gonna wimp out on me." Smiled Xeial, all happy again. She grinned at Impa and her eyes flashed with mischeif. "Weren't you three on the way to the castle anyways? You'll get there plenty fast enough if I give you a lift." The three judges exchanged a look pregnant with fear and resignation. Had it been possible for them to communicate telepathically, they would have been agreeing at this point that Xeial reminded them forcibly of somebody. The question was - who? Given that she was a Princess of sorts, although a deplorably half-Gerduo princess, she appeared to have few manners and little decorum. They would have dearly liked to escape from this undesireable person had it been possible. None of them enjoyed her slightly agressive mannerism, her caustic tone of voice or the habit she had of staring at them with her unblinking icy eyes. she was certainly not the sort of young woman any person in their right mind would mess with.

Right mind? Impa suddenly gasped as a horrible realisation dawned on her. She knew exactly who it was that reminded her so much of Xeial and the thought was not pleasant. Her gasp drew all attention to her.

"Something wrong, Impa?" Asked Xeial, her manner anything but solicitous.

"You! You're...you're..."

"Amber. Wow, you like totally worked that out in less than half an hour. The head-hamster has officially woken up. Praise the gods." Xeial finished the sentence for Impa and yawned. Rauru and Kru decided it was high time for them to gasp too and join in with the general surprise. They stared at the woman and began to imagine they saw resemblences between her and Link's pet. Certainly she was ferosious enough to be the erstwhile wolf but could she really be...? "I am a shape-shifter." Explained the Dream Snatcher, forestalling the inevitiable question whilst studying her fingers casually. "I exist to protect Lefestra's heir."

"Zelda?" Prompted Impa, hopefully.

Xeial snorted. "Pah, that girl - the descendant of my Lefestra? Don't have a laugh! You know exactly who I'm talking about. You knew all along, didn't you, Impa? The Free Sword of Calatia? Only Lefestra's true heir would ever have such a title!"

"You mean....Link?" Stammered Rauru. He looked in Impa's direction and wondered whether his fellow judge was literally going to explode with annoyance or whether she would be wise enough to hold her tongue. It certainly would not be a clever move to openly disparage the boy within earshot of Xeial. If her performances as Amber were anything to go by, Xeial was more than capable of instant, painfully retaliation to any insult to her beloved pet.

"I thought Judges are supposed to be smart? I don't know how the heck you ever got your jobs because you guys are _the _most stupid people I have ever met." Said Xeial, with awful deliberation. "Of course I meant Link."

* * *

Hehe, so did you guess Xeial's identity right? Let me know!!! See ya next chapter XX


	32. Duck!

**Sorry it's taken so long to post this chapter – I can only blame a combination of writers block for this story, inspiration for the real novel I'm writing, a obsession with Studio Ghibli, and the UK release of Persona 4 (Oh how I love that game) for my lack of personal creativity. However, now I've overcome this hurdle, hopefully the next chapter won't be too long in coming. **

**Many thanks to: mysterygal3189, QuinKilo1055, Link's Ocarina Babe and la generala for your continued support, ideas and encouraging comments! You guys are awesome!!! And also thank you to everyone who's subscribed to an alert or favourited this story!! You all make my day! (I could write a lot more on this subject, but I won't bore you! Instead, I send you all a home-cooked virtual triple-chocolate cream cake, with extra frosting– calorie free of course!) **

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Chapter Thirty-Two – Duck!

Xeial's method to transport the judges to the castle was simple and effective. She transformed into a dragon. Impa was the only of her fellows capable of speech after that hair-raising journey. There were many things she would have liked to say to Xeial, most of them being rather impolite, but she contented herself with the simple question of why on earth Xeial didn't stay in dragon form? Surely that was the best shape to shift to – it was powerful, fast and scary?

Xeial smiled at this thought and answered, "You think the best form I can be in is a cumbersome dragon? This body isn't agile, you know? Besides, I am not like the other Dream Snatchers. Their purpose was to stop Lefestra's heir destroying Saeru, my purpose is to stop Saeru destroying Lefestra's heir. Therein is the difference. I am not a monster and if I was a dragon, apart from obviously transporting him around the country in the blink of an eye, and feasting on farm animals and the occasional Goron, how could I have helped Link?"

"Uh…" Impa stared at Xeial for a long moment, wondering if there was any argument she could advance in favour of the Dream Snatcher remaining in her rather more terrifying form.

"You must also understand that in order to help Link, I must be in a form that he would recognise and trust. A fool he may be but even he would be a little nervous of befriending a dragon."

"We are talking about the same Link, aren't we?" Wondered Impa. "From what I know of him, he'd be overjoyed to have a terrifying dragon as a friend."

"You mean a pet." Smiled Xeial. "Maybe he would but it's not just that either. I can't stay as a human for any length of time, it is too taxing, but I needed to be able to communicate on a basic level with Link. I did try being a cat but he said I freaked him out – apparently he didn't like the way I could outstare him – and I didn't want to be a horse so I thought I'd best become a dog of sorts. Man's best friend and all that junk."

"But you're not a dog – you're a wolf."

"Yeah, I guess." Xeial smiled her peculiarly evil grin that reminded the Judges forcibly of Link and added, "I'm not the cute, cuddly Hylian terrier type of girl, you know. I am a Dream Snatcher after all. Anyways, I like being a wolf – when you're a dog people pet you and tug your ears and throw things for you to chase, as if that's fun, and they talk to you in this stupid baby-talk way. When you're a wolf people respect you."

"And when you say respect, you mean fear." Said Impa, wryly.

"It's not my fault I make a pretty scary wolf!" Retorted Xeial. "Only stupid people are afraid of me."

Impa glanced at her colleagues and remembered their reaction to the Kakariko Wolf situation. She couldn't help smiling slightly. "Does….Link know who you really are?" she ventured.

"By now he probably does. That boy would be quite smart if he could be bothered to use his brain." Xeial smiled sentimentally, "He's quite like Lefestra, you know." She straightened her back and tossed her hair over her shoulders. "Speaking of which, I'd better go help him. After all, that's what I am still alive for."

"Oh, right…" Impa exchanged a glance with Rauru, who stilled looked rather green and smiled slightly, "I'd suggest you two enter the castle by more conventional means."

"You want us to call on Ganondorf? Oh good golly, Impa, are you mad? We judges don't just pop into the castle for a bit of a social. What do you expect us to talk about?" Asked Kru, starting to panic.

"Anything, Kru my friend, after all, you could talk the hind legs of a donkey. Xeial, I am ready." Impa turned and saw the familiar golden wolf standing before her. "I always thought you were smarter than Link." She said. Amber growled softly and shook her coat. It was almost like she was laughing.

**

* * *

**

"Okay, so now I am confused," Complained Zelda as she peered into the expanse of darkness behind the wall in the corner of the room. "Do we trust her?"

"Trust whom? Nabooru? I can't see why not. She risked her neck for us, she'd hardly do that for nothing, now would she?" replied Link, following Zelda's gaze. At his feet was a small glass bottle containing a sparkly-looking blue liquid and the white-bladed dagger. Nabooru had left them in the corner of the room for their use before returning to Ganondorf's side. Zelda examined the blue liquid and bit her lip. Given the state both she and Link were in, the magic potion would be mightily handy right now, it would certainly give them the energy to face whatever was going to be thrown at them, however, she had a nagging feeling of uneasiness. The liquid could just as easily be a poison and they could be walking right into a trap.

"Think about it, Zel - they need us either way! Why would she bother to poison us when she could have just let on she'd seen us back then? It doesn't make sense."

"I suppose…"

"Look, I'll drink some first, we'll wait a bit and if nothing happens, then you partake. If I keel over and die then you don't partake, you run and you go find Impa. Deal?" Link grinned at his friend and before she could agree or disagree, he uncorked the bottle and took a large swig of the contents. He kept his eyes fixed on hers as the potion worked its magic, filling him with a whole new energy and spirit and a feeling, strangely enough, of power. Normally he would have pretended the potion was poison, just to frighten Zelda, but he decided (fortunately) that she had had enough stress for one day and he would play fair for once.

"See, all good." he announced after a few minutes. "It is safe." He held the bottle out to her. "Half a dose is better than none at all, drink it, Zelda." After a good few minutes of indecision, she slowly obeyed. "Wow, that stuff has a kick to it, doesn't it!" She remarked, wiping her mouth with a trembling hand. "I feel half better now."

"Great, then let's continue, shall we?" Link knelt by the hole in the wall and dislodged a couple more stones. As Nabooru had remarked earlier, behind the seemingly solid wall lay a long, dark passage heading in an easterly direction. If the Gerudo was to be believed, it would lead Link and Zelda to the quarters of the castle's two resident witches, Koume and Kotake. Having heard so much about them in his disreputable past but never having seen them in the flesh and he couldn't wait to meet them. He didn't share Zelda's whispered opinion that they were walking into a trap. For one thing, he was confident Zelda could out-magic anything flung at them. And as a final guarantee of safety it was well known that the two witches were elderly, rather lonely old hags. Everybody knew elderly ladies loved personable young men. And Link could be very, very personable when it suited him.

* * *

They could hear the witches before they saw them. Koume and Kotake were identical twins. They had lived together all of their lives. They shared exactly the same tastes, likes, dislikes, hobbies and interests. In every respect they were the same, so for them, living with one's sister was like living with oneself and unless you have ever lived with yourself, you would never realise what a trial that could be. After all – familiarity breeds contempt – and in the case of these two, familiarity had bred an almighty, all-encompassing and unimaginable loathing for each other.

"My dear Kotake," cackled Koume, her voice eloquently polite "Did I misread the spell? Were we, in fact, to add two newts to the broth? Did my eyes deceive me, Sister, I am certain that no newts were included in the ingredients."

"My dear Koume." Smiled Kotake, sweetly, "I fear that you might be going senile in your old age. We are making newt-stew. Such a concoction does require the addition of newts."

"Since when were we making Newt Stew?"

"Since our little Ganny asked us to." Kotake peered at her sister through eyes that seemed to bulge out of her skull and cackled. "My precious sister, I do fear that your advanced age is getting the better of you."

"_My_ advanced age?" Koume peered back at Kotake with a look equally as bland and snorted, "Are you forgetting you are the same age as me, you old hag. We are twins, remember!" She stared at her sister for a long moment, and then returned to her careful stirring of the odd coloured liquid bubbling away over the stove. "I fear if anything, you are the one losing your mind, my dear. Our little Ganny asked us to perform a special task for him, don't you remember?"

"Of course I remember." Snapped Kotake, shoving her sister from her position over the bubbling cauldron and taking the spoon from her hands, "That is why I added the newts. You can't make come-alive juice without a good Newt Stew base." The elderly witch sniffed the broth and cackled again. "Ah, this is wonderful good stuff. Ganny with be so pleased with me."

"With _us_, my dear. Us! We have both worked on this…" The sisters looked at one another, both had a look of saintly patience attached to their haggard faces but it was clear that the war was just getting started between them.

"But of course." Smiled Kotake, her voice filled with awful politeness, "I remember you…you…did something that I cannot remember…"

"Poor Kotake, perhaps you should go lie down for a while. Is your head hurting with all the thinking you are doing? After all, it is I that was blessed in the brains department and it was my brains, as you will recall, that divined this spell which is now ruined by the addition of newts."

"Was it you?" Wondered Kotake, her eyes beginning to glisten with fury. "I could have sworn you, my sister, have spent the morning slacking off. Perhaps I was mistaken."

Link watched the battle from the sidelines, thoroughly enjoying himself, and probably would have continued watching had Zelda not prodded his arm at this point, reminding him that they were on a rather urgent mission. He couldn't help a little 'Eep' noise slip his mouth as Zelda's sharp fingernails dug into the fleshy part of his arm. This effectively stopped the argument between the sisters. They both looked in his direction.

"Er, hello ladies! I was wondering if you could help me?" began Link, crawling out from his hole near the hearth, "I seem to be a bit lost."

The two witches stared at him in amazement. Having not been privy to the fact that a secret entrance ran from the chimney breast of their quarters to the cells they had no idea how Link had miraculously appeared. They exchanged a look and returned to their scrutiny of him.

Link grinned and wriggled forward into the room. The passageway up to this point had been relatively easy to traverse but the exit had been a bit of a squeeze. He was glad to be out in the open, even if the open was the witches' den. He was confident he could handle them. His blue eyes shone happily as he smiled up at them.

Confronted by a vision of blond haired, blue eyed male perfection, smiling innocently up at them from their fireplace the witches were at first incapable of speech. It was Koume that recovered first, saying "it is a good thing I didn't let my sister light a fire there today, young man."

Kotake looked indignant and was about to speak when Link stood up and flashed another one of his beautiful smiles in their general direction. They were suitably dazzled. "I am so glad about that!" He chuckled. "I was frightened when I ended up in that horrible dark passage and didn't realise it was going to lead to an actual fireplace. Guess today is my lucky day, huh?" He took another look at the witches and smiled angelically, "Yep, definitely my lucky day today."

"Er…." Kotake gulped and rallied her senses. She was three hundred and eighty years old (give or take a day or two) and had previously thought herself immune to a dazzling spell, such as the one this young-un was using but alas, she had never before run into anyone quite as dazzling at Link before. It took her a while to right her brain, "Er, where were you supposed to be heading, young man?" She asked.

"Oh, I was trying to find the two witches that supposedly haunt this castle." Replied Link, airily. "I didn't expect to run into a pair of nubile lovelies like you two though! I mean, the castle's full of beautiful women but you, both of you, are astonishing." Link spoke with the utmost sincerity, his eyes shone happily and his mouth was twisted into an automatically innocent smile. Had he told the truth, he would have confessed that the two witches reminded him of a pair of featherless, drab ravens. The pair of them were plump, wrinkled, ghastly old hags that were about a third his height yet when he spoke, it was without a trace of a lie. He could have won a medal for his dishonesty.

"And what do you want with the witches?" Asked Koume, at length.

"Do you know where they are?" Replied Link, eagerly.

"We _are_ the witches." Stated Kotake.

Link stared at them for a very long moment, opened his mouth, closed it and stared a bit more. He ran a hand through his golden hair too, for good measure, before blinking and saying. "Never."

"What?"

"You're not the witches." Sniggered Link, "Come off it, ladies! I've heard from many reliable sources that the Gerudo witches are squab little creatures with birdy faces that are about five-hundred years old."

"Actually, that's four hundred. Not five-hundred."

"I'm only three hundred and eighty." Said Kotake, bating her eyelids at Link.

"How can you be twenty years younger?" Interrupted Koume. "You're my twin! We are the same age."

Link feigned confusion and listened to them argue for a moment longer. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Zelda creep forward from the hole in the hearth and signalled to her to make a run for it. If he could get Zelda safely out of the way, then he could happily waltz out of the reach of the witches without causing too much trouble. His plan depended on Zelda remaining hidden.

Surprisingly, for one of his plans – its success hinging firmly on Zelda's ability to be sneaky – it actually worked quite well. Zelda sneaked carefully behind the two witches whilst Link distracted them by blatantly flirting with them. She slid behind a desk and crawled towards the doorway. And then crashed into a table she hadn't seen.

The two witches swung around at the rather nasty sounding crunch and Zelda's immediate retort of a rather unladylike swearword borrowed from Link's expansive vocabulary. She froze and stared up at the pair in horror.

"Ah, so is this is what you are hiding?" Cackled Kotake, mirthlessly. "I see exactly what you are playing at here. Fool. How dare you try to deceive the powerful Twinrova sisters."

"It was worth a shot." replied Link, smiling disarmingly at them in a manner just sweet enough to diffuse some of their anger. "You can't blame a guy for trying."

"Just you wait 'til King Ganondorf gets here. He'll give you what for!" Sniffed Koume. She glared in Zelda's direction and watched as Link casually sauntered over to her and helped her to her feet. He smiled down at her and mouthed the words 'don't worry' to her. It was not so much the fact that Link had tried to deceive them that annoyed the old witch, it was the fact he had done it to protect a girl who was so much younger, and prettier than her. Such a thing could only deserve vengeance, and nobody ever served vengeance better than a pair of angry old witches. She looked at her sister and they both nodded.

"I think I know how best to punish this vile insult to our person." Remarked Koume. The door behind the Hylians closed with a slam with just the lift of one of the Gerudo witch's fingers. "We were going to wait until King Ganondorf arrived to test this out but now seems as good a time as any. Arise, Sir Kwakoo."

"Kwakoo? What the…" Link's puzzled exclamation was cut short as Kotake bustled into his vision range, and shouted, "You fool, Koume. Call yourself my sister, do you? His name's Sir Kwaksalot." She thrust a small yellow object into her sister's face and waved it about menacingly. "Sir Kwakoo exploded. Remember? This is Sir Kwaksalot."

"Are those…?" Began Link, staring at the yellow, rubbery object in Kotake's hand, he gulped and tried to quell the smile that he knew was just about to burst on his face. His eyes danced in merriment as he met Zelda's confused look. He coughed and tried again, "Is that… a rubber duck?" he asked.

"Well of course it is. Are you blind too?" Snapped Kotake, waving the happy-looking yellow duck in Link's direction, Link bit his lip and Zelda choked.

"And not just any rubber duck." Added Koume, "This duck is the prototype for King Ganondorf's new army of unspeakable, unimaginable terror. This duck will be your doom." A wail of laughter met this threat.

"Pah! Mock all you like," said Kotake, giving the helpless Zelda a look that would have quelled even Impa, "this Duck, this Lord Kwaksalot has been imbued with magical powers…" Another wail accompanied this statement. The two witches exchanged a look and shrugged. "Can you shut her up?" They asked Link. "We are trying to threaten you here. It is rude to giggle whilst a person makes viable threats to your person. This is rubber-duck-of-doom." Link's mouth twitched but managed to keep a straight face. Koume's eye twitched dangerously and she continued, speaking through gritted teeth. "It has been given a high dosage of come-alive juice…"

"…with extra newts…" added Kotake.

"As I was saying," continued Koume, glaring at her sister, "this duck is not your average happy-faced, yellow squeaky duck-of-bathroom-joy, this duck is alive. And it is very, very dangerous."

That was too much for Link. He joined in with Zelda's cries of laughter.

"I see you don't take us seriously." Snapped Kotake, "You clearly don't realise the danger you are in. You should fear for your lives."

"Fear for our l-lives? Because of a rubber d-duck?" Giggled Zelda.

"Of-doom, don't forget that!" Added Link, through his chuckles.

"Yes. Sir Kwaksalot will show you just what he can do! GO!" Kotake threw the yellow duck to the floor. It landed upside down with a pathetic-sounding squeak and was still. For a long moment, everyone was silent and still – waiting and watching. Minutes passed by like hours and then…

Nothing happened.

Nothing. Nada. Zip. The duck lay on its side on the floor, a happy little inane grin on its red beak, its eyes wide open, staring at nothing.

"I knew those newts were a mistake." Snorted Koume, glaring at her sister.

"No-no. It'll work. It has to! Let's give Sir Kwakaslot a moment to compose himself…hmmm…" Kotake stared at the small yellow duck flat out on the floor, willing life into it for a long moment before admitting defeat. "Fine, we'll just have to take matters into our own hands, sister. Let's Twinrova them."

Koume nodded in. "Just what I was about to suggest, my dear. We haven't done this for ages! Let's go!" They placed the palms of their hands together and started to chant. The room began to darken and the floor began to shake. The two witches started to mutter some very nasty sounding words and their bodies began to melt into one.

"Uh-oh, this isn't good." muttered Link.

"You think?" replied Zelda, finally recovering from her giggling fit. "I think its time for another one of our amazing, escaping adventures."

"I'm with you!" Link grabbed her hand and together they made a run for the door. The witches' voices seemed to grow louder and louder as they ran, reverberating from the walls. The floor began to tremble. The door seemed to slide further and further away from them.

"Oh no you don't!" Came a voice from behind them. It was a lot younger than either of the witches, but still sounded remarkably like them. A bolt of ice shot past them and slammed into the door, covering it and the floor all around them in a thick layer of shimmering ice. The ice spread towards them rapidly, smothering everything it touched.

"Crud! Watch yourself!" Shouted Link, dragging Zelda out of the way of the advancing frost. He swung her around with such a jerk that she almost was flung off her feet, and with the momentum she crashed into him and they both went flying to the floor. The next instant the ice had covered them completely. The weight of the frost threatened to crush them and it filled their noses and mouths, trying to suffocate them all the while the bitter cold stabbing all over their skin with a thousand daggers. Link tried to will his body to fight off the cold, to struggle and break free but he was pinned to the floor by both the ice and Zelda, who had somehow managed to break her fall on his legs. His body was also having a mild panic attack, given that it had found itself in the unfortunate position of being unexpectedly deprived of oxygen.

Fortunately for Link, and his oxygen deprived body, Zelda was thinking quicker than she usually did. She realised that the ice was too thick to break through and that struggling would only compound matters, she decided to go for a magic attack herself and channelled every ounce of concentration she could muster into a fireball spell. It wasn't strong enough to shatter the ice, but it made a big hole in it. She felt another wave of ice crashing into her and tried the spell again, this time forcing all her willpower and emotions and everything else she could muster into that one small spell. It made a bigger hole this time but was still not enough.

A wave of frustration rushed through her body as a strange kind of panic kicked in. Something she didn't want to acknowledge began lurking in her mind. A little voice inside her head was telling her that she was going to fail. She was telling herself she wasn't strong enough. The panic at being unable to escape only strengthened her negative thoughts. 'You know you're going to lose, so why even try?' The voice said even as she summoned another fireball to her hand. "Shut up and go away!" She told herself. 'Pathetic.' Retorted her inner voice as the fireball made even less impact than her last attempt. 'You can't even save yourself.' Her inner voice started giggling. 'You'll never save Link…'

"I WILL SAVE HIM!" She screamed, and suddenly flames erupted from all around her, blasting through the meter thick ice as though it had only been as thick as a hair. Suddenly the ice had gone. She rolled to a crawling position, gasping for breath as cold water dribbled from every inch of her skin. Vaguely she heard the witches' cries as they combated the flames in the room but her focus was on Link. She felt her inner voice smirking. 'Sure you don't love him, Zellie.' Her inner monologue mocked her and she quickly tore her gaze away from him.

"I don't." She replied.

"Don't what?" Asked Link, panting slightly.

"Er, I…don't…don't think we're done here yet." She answered, rather lamely and clambered to her feet. She turned around to face the Gerudo Witches and immediately ducked out of the way of a bolt of flame coming from their direction. It flew harmlessly over her head but she felt the ends of her hair singe with the intense heat. Old they might have been, but the two witches certainly knew their magic. The acrid smoke from the fire spell stung her eyes and made her choke.

Through the haze she could finally see what Twinrova was: a rather heavily made up Gerudo woman with improbable chestnut hair who appeared to be levitating about three foot off the ground.

"Coo." Link's whistled exclaimation drew her attention from the hovering witch back to her companion and she noted, with no little sense of alarm, that he was smiling again. "You're actually quite hot for a pair of ancient old bags." He called.

"Teehee. Quite the charmer, aren't you, young man!" sniggered Twinrova, slowly and deliberately winking at him. "But don't think we'll go easy on you just because of your pretty face." Twinrova giggled again and blew a kiss in his direction. Link mimed catching it and putting it in his imaginary pocket. The witch smiled again and held her right arm aloft. "KYAAAAA! TWINROVA FIRE ATTACK!" She suddenly yelled. The flare was aimed for Link's feet. He and Zelda jumped out of the way in opposite directions as the fire slammed into the ground, hitting only one lonely little object on the floor. Sir Kwakaslot became the first flying rubber-duck-of-doom in Hyrule's history, it squeaked in surprise as it became airborne, enjoying its moments of glorious freedom, even if its bottom was on fire, before realising all too soon that there was a glorious principle governing even the world of rubber ducks – what goes up must come down. The ground began to look all dark and huge and solid before the ducks eyes when suddenly a pair of leather clad hands appeared below him and he was snatched to safety.

Link had caught the duck on a reflex and was about to toss it to one side when it squeaked. He was too caught up in the moment of escaping certain death at the hands of the slightly insane Twinrova but his brain did register something odd and he kept hold of the duck as he dodged an ice attack.

"Ppphank you for sqwaving me." Came a little, squeaky voice from his hand. Link jumped out of the way of a fireball, checked on Zelda across the room and then glanced down at his hand in confusion. Sir Kwaksalot was staring at nothing, his red beak curled up in an inane smile. Not for the first time, Link actively began to question his sanity. Now that he had rescued the duck, it would have gone against his principles to throw it away, even if it was beginning to freak him out. He'd have to look for a nice safe spot to leave it. He shook his head and tried to refocus on Twinrova. He could ponder on his mental state later, he decided. He couldn't help squeezing the duck though. A happy 'Pheeeeeek' nose came out of the squeaker and he smiled in relief, until he heard a voice saying, "Don't do phhattt, it hurtsq."

His focus on the battle completely lost, he stopped what he was doing and held the rubber duck-of-doom to his eyes and stared at it. Dimly he heard Zelda yelling at him and he could feel the rush of heat as a Twinrova firey-death special headed his way but somehow he couldn't concentrate on this at all. He was mesmerised by the cuteness of the duck, by its shiny yellow surface and its happy little face and the fact it could talk. All he could do was stare, stare, and stare some more. He wondered what would be the most appropriate thing to say to a rubber duck?

Then he realised how very hot the world had become. He glanced up and saw a wall of flame heading in his direction and knew there was no way he could dodge this time. For a moment, time stood still and in the space where one's life would normally pass by, Link wondered why he had spent his last moments on the earth pondering the nature of existence of a rubber bath toy. There were so many things he preferred to think about, (most of them involving Zelda) but now he didn't have enough time. He didn't even have enough time to think about what his final thoughts should be. Now all he had time for was to whisper his final words – he knew they should be something epic, something heroic – something altogether _Link._

"Crap." He said.

And then the flames hit…

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...And the chapter ends on a cliffhanger!! Mwahahahaha… I think it got better towards the end the beginning was a bit all over the place! Please don't forget to hit that review button!


	33. and so it begins

**Sorry, it took forever to post this chapter! Thanks to those of you who have this as a favourite! I am very flattered and as always, I would like to express my eternal gratitude to all my lovely reviewers! Really without your advice and support I would not keep writing this! SO THANK YOU:**

**-Link's Ocarina Babe (Link on toast sounds good to me), **

**-Booklover13 (sorry I didn't update sooner), **

**-Quinkilo1055 (I think I shall give you credit for part-authorship of this story, I've stolen so many of your ideas!), **

**-Mysterygal3189 (hehe, I love cliff-hangers) and last but by no means least**

**-la generala (Hmmmm…mutant ninja zombies – I think you're definitely on to something there) **

**for your reviews of Chapter 32, sorry if I didn't reply to them personally! I've been very busy lately (and not just playing games like usual XD)**

**Anways, without further ado, I commit to you all the marvellous (or at least 'the about time I submitted it') chapter 33. Enjoy!**

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Chapter Thirty-Three – and so it begins…

It was cold. Very cold. And he was soaking wet again. "Uh…" moaned Link. His frazzled mind tried to comprehend these two facts whilst telling him that something was very, very wrong with the world. Like he didn't know that already! Cautiously, he opened one eye to check his surroundings. Given that he believed he had suffered death by flaming, he was a little surprised to see that he was still in the witches' potion room. Zelda was still gaping at him from the opposite wall and Twinrova was still doing her weird levitation thing near him. He glanced down. Sir Kwaksalot was still sitting in his hand, an inane grin on his red beak, his blank eyes staring at nothing. 'If this really is the sacred realm', thought Link, 'I can understand why people don't want to die!'

"Link…? Are you okay?" asked Zelda.

After peering at her for a very long time, just to ascertain that she really was speaking to him he decided that the best thing to do would be to check the answer to her question. He gave himself the once-over. Apart from being soaking wet (again) he seemed to have avoided any injury from the blast. He was relieved to find that his body had not been horrifically burned, his shirt and pants were not singed (although being Link, he wouldn't have minded a little artistic frazzling here and there) and most relieving, his hair was still in tact. "Er…I guess I am…" he responded at length. "Zel…did you save me?" He asked.

"No, I did." A voice came from behind him this time. He swung around and came face to face with the last person he was expecting – Impa. She stood in the doorway, arms folded, red eyes all a-glare and lips sneering at him.

"Impa? Surely _you_ didn't help me?" He wondered aloud.

"No I did not. I wouldn't help you unless if was to help you over the edge of a cliff. It was all her." Impa nodded at the woman standing slightly behind her and grimaced, she was mortified at the thought of assisting Link in any way.

He had at first thought the woman to be A. Gerudo guard, sent to hamper his progress towards Ganondorf, but when he looked properly at her, he noticed two things that were odd – firstly she had piercing blue eyes, and secondly that those piercing blue eyes were staring unblinkingly at him. He knew he'd seen them somewhere before but couldn't quite place them.

"Well I'm glad you're back to your usual self." She remarked, in a slightly cool tone. "Surely you, of all people, must recognise me, Link!"

He frowned as he gazed at her, he'd never seen the woman before, but knew those eyes…and if he knew those eyes then he knew who she really was. The realisation hit him with a considerable jolt. "Oh my goddess, you are Amber…I mean Xeial, aren't you?"

"The one and only." Replied Xeial, smiling at him. She glanced at Impa and smirked, "See - I told you he was smarter than he looks."

"But….but you're a human?"

"And you are confused by this? It's easily explained – I shape shift. Unfortunately, my true form takes up a little too much concentration to hold for any significant length of time, but I thought I'd better transform into this before I spoke to you. Even you would have been a little daunted had I spoken to you as Amber."

"No, it would have been awesome!" Replied Link. "Still, I'm glad it was you that saved me, I was beginning to think it was the rubber duck."

"Rubber duck?" These two words were repeated by every person in the room, bar Link, with equal amounts of confusion. Sir Kwaksalot evidently felt left out by this, so he said it too.

"Er, I mean Sir Kwaksalot."

"You mean that paltry thing you've got in your hands?" Laughed Xeial. "Here, gimme that!" She held out a hand imperatively.

"What are you going to do with him?"

"Nothing much." Said Xeial, with a peculiarly evil grin, "Has someone given him 'come-alive juice' or summat? Come on, hand him over! These charm things can be dangerous, ya know."

"Er, I think I'll keep hold of him, thanks." Said Link, backing away from the Dream Snatcher.

"Squave me!" Squeaked the duck.

"That duck belongs to King Ganondorf." announced Twinrova, suddenly. "If he's gonna be handed over to someone, it'd better be us. We made him, after all."

"They blew up my brother." Whispered the duck, sadly, "I don't want be with them."

"Er…" Said Link, quite nonplussed, Xeial was advancing on him from the front, and Twinrova was stalking him from behind and the rubber duck was telling him all his woes. Something was going to go horribly, horribly wrong, he just knew it.

Suddenly the door behind them all swung open and a voice boomed, "Hey Mums, how's my rubber duck army com…in….g….ah…" He stopped and gawped at the room's inhabitants before exploding: "What the HECK is going on in here?" There was an audible gulp from at least three people in the room as they all turned to face the door. The voice in itself was unmistakable, but just in case they weren't sure who it was, the insane height, the bright orange hair, the green tinted skin and perfectly manicured beard announced that it was indeed the one and only Ganondorf.

"Uh…Ganny-kins, we can explain!" said Twinrova, hastily dismantling herself into her respective parts of Koume and Kotake once more before rushing over to him to hug his legs.

"If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times – no more Twinrovaing in this castle!" Stormed Ganondorf, dealing with the most immediate of his problems first. "Just look at the damage you've caused! Last time it cost me ten-thousand rupees to repair the broken timbers and now… gah! You've spoiled your new curtains! Besides which, you know the girls find it freaky…and I do too…but that's beside the point. You two were supposed to be working on my super-secret project not wasting your time battling escapees." He took a deep breath, as if to steady himself before continuing his rant, noticed Link staring at him and stopped in his tracks.

"You!" He snarled, in a voice of deep loathing. He cast his eyes about the room to find what he was looking for and glared at her. "And you!" he added.

"Er…hi?" stammered Zelda, backing away slightly. "How are you, King Ganondorf?"

"Oh, I'm actually quite well today and – argh, what am I saying? Grrr, it's because of you two idiots that my castle guards are running themselves ragged, trying to find you and – what the heck is your problem, you moron?" He addressed this remark at Link, who had been staring at him in a transfixed manner, a dreamy smile on his face.

"Your beard." Said Link, dreamily.

"What? My beard is a problem, is it?"

"No your beard is…well, it's amazing! How do you trim it so neatly? It's just perfect – the right mix of majesty and malevolence. I thought Rauru's facial goings on couldn't be bettered but you've blown him out of the water with that fuzz. Oh I am _so_ growing one when I'm older."

"Oh…heh, thanks, I guess. This is my latest style I call it the Power King look. Each hair is trimmed by hand and…no, no, NO I am being distracted again! Stop it! You! You are Link, correct?"

"I thought we'd already met but, yeah, I'm Link."

"Fine, then tell me, Link, where can I find the final Dream Snatcher, Xeial."

"Right here." Said Xeial herself, her blue eyes were colder than ever as she gazed at him, "But don't think I'll let you get the power of the Chameleon Stone. I have no intention of helping you achieve your malevolent goals."

"Oh really?" Stormed Ganondorf, "We'll see about that! Gimme your Signet Ring!"

"Tut-tut-tut, don't you know when you're outclassed? I'm not one of those creatures that can be bullied, you know." Xeial studied his face calmly for a moment. "I'm far more powerful than you or your witches and I can do whatever I like. I will protect Link and the Chameleon Stone for as long as I have to and I will not let you have any of Saeru's power."

For a long moment, the room was still and silent as Xeial allowed her words to sink in, penetrating through Ganondorf's fury and Link's puzzlement. Her blue eyes gazed at the Gerudo King scornfully, "You are far too weak to share in her power. She'd use you before you'd have time to take a breath. You are wasting your time trying to revive her power, you should let me have it and I will seal it and her away permanently." She watched as Ganondorf's hands curled into rather alarmingly large fists and smiled again, "I wouldn't if I were you. You really don't know me and what I am capable of."

"I know exactly who you are and what you are capable of – you are a Dream Snatcher, and not just any Dream Snatcher – you are Xeial, the ultimate weapon against Saeru, the only one of the group to have been given Lefestra's blessing and protection. You are the most powerful and most enigmatic of the seven and the only one whom Saeru genuinely despises. Conventional methods of attack will not work against you for you are almost immortal. There is only one person that has the power to destroy you." Ganondorf grinned wickedly at her and crossed his arms, had he been a ten-year old no doubt at this point he would have stuck his tongue out at her. Instead he glared down his nose at her and added, "You see – I've done my homework!"

Contrary to expectations, Xeial did not react angrily to this tirade, rather her expression was impressed and she actually applauded him. "So, where d'ya get your information then?" She asked.

"Straight from the source!" replied Ganondorf, "You don't think the Goddess Saeru would just let you stop her, do you? She wants her power back!"

"And you are content to simply get her way, no qualms? Somehow that doesn't sound entirely honest to me! I doubt very much that in all your 'homework' you didn't learn what the Chameleon Stone can do – the power it contains and I also doubt that a man like you – who is so clearly obsessed by power – would simply let the opportunity to possess such unparalled might pass him by. Just what bargain has she offered you?"

"Heh, you think you can read me so well." Snorted Ganondorf, "And you think you know Saeru so well but I'll tell you now – you don't! But one thing's for sure, she certainly knows you! I won't tell you what bargain we've made but rest assured, she's told me enough to ensure her, no our, victory."

"Our victory...?" Xeial rolled her eyes and smiled, "I guess I'll just have to do this myself then, eh?" She raised her arms above her head and then suddenly a spasm of pain flashed across her face and she seemed to cave in on herself. The pain forced her into a crouch and her body was visibly trembling.

"Xeial!" Cried Link, dashing towards her.

She raised a shaky hand and smiled at him, "S-stay back. It's o-okay." Her face was deathly pale and her voice sounded thick and odd. She gulped and shook her head, "I told you I c-couldn't keep this form up for too l-long." Another spasm shook her whole body and she gasped and clutched her sides, "Link! S-stay strong and d-don't worry about me. I-I'll be with you always, I…I…" She lurched forward and screamed.

"W-what's happening to you?" Cried Link, surging forward again. Xeial shook her head and frantically waved him away. "Urg…aaaaaaoooooooooooooow…" she cried as she dropped to the floor. Her body became enveloped in white light and black flame.

"She's reverting to her true form…I think." Said Impa, taking advantage of everybody's distraction to inch towards Zelda.

Xeial screamed again and dragged herself to her hands and knees. The frantic magic surrounding her calmed a little and then there was a sudden bang and blinding flash of light and she fell back to the floor, her body morphed into its more familiar canine form. The magic surrounding her disbursed gently as Link dropped to his knees at her side and gently stroked her ears. She raised her head and rested it on his lap, just like she always had done in the past.

"I much prefer this form, Xeial," Mocked Ganondorf, "You are so much more manageable."

Amber growled at him and attempted to stand but she had drained most of her power by keeping in her human form for too long. Link stroked her head gently as she slumped back to the floor and glared at Ganondorf, "She may be weak but she is still a thousand times stronger than you and if you think for a minute that I'll let you harm her, I'll…" He stopped and stared in surprise at Ganondorf who had started laughing.

"So you'll stop anyone who tries to hurt her, will you?" sniggered the Gerudo king, "Well we'll see about that! It's a shame she's too exhausted to tell you exactly why that statement is so ironic. I must remember to thank Saeru for the entertainment she has so generously provided for me today! Anyway, I must be going. I have a stone to awaken and for that I shall require the lovely Zelda's assistance."

"I'm not going anywhere with you!" Snapped Zelda, moving closer to Link for protection.

Impa grabbed her wrist as she inched by and glared at everybody. "Zelda is going nowhere. In fact, she is going home with me right now! Come, Zelda! You have been allowed far too much indulgence recently and I am determined to wash your hands of these unsavoury influences you have surrounded yourself with."

"By unsavoury influence, I assume you are referring to me?" Remarked Link, unperturbed. "Unfortunately, Zelda can't go anywhere right now – surely even you realise that, Impa? There is the small matter of sealing the power of the Chameleon Stone – something only she can do, and that must outweigh any hatred you have for me?"

"I would say that since the Chameleon Stone is a Calatian relic, dealing with it is a Calatian problem! Zelda is a Hylian and moreover, she is my ward! I forbid her from having any further association with you therefore she will be returning home with me. You and Ganondorf may deal with the Chameleon Stone between you!"

"How very selfish you are, Impa." Exclaimed Zelda, angrily shaking her arm free of her mentor's grasp, "Am I even allowed to express my opinion on the matter?"

"Not whilst you are my ward!" Replied Impa, as she attempted to grasp Zelda's hand again.

"But I am not your ward, not legally anyway!" Cried Zelda, taking a good step away from her. "I know you are only doing this to protect me and I do understand that you mean only the best for me because you care so much but you must understand – this issue is beyond your control. Link is right – I am the only one who can end this madness. If the Goddesses have chosen me to fulfil this duty then I must do as they ask. Indeed, I have no other choice!"

"Well said," chuckled Ganondorf, "Nevertheless, you have been chosen to awaken Saeru's power, not seal it away. You see, once Xeial is destroyed, you'll have no other choice but to cooperate with me. Saeru has already explained this to you – either you free her or you condemn yourself to her prison. You have no choice."

"As I see it, Xeial is still alive!" retorted Zelda, standing tall and glaring at him.

"For now."

"And I am the only one who can destroy her, correct? If that is so, then I swear to you that as long as I live, she will too! I would rather face eternal damnation than help you and that vile excuse for a Goddess get your way."

Ganondorf sniggered and ambled towards her. Ridiculous and pathetic as he could be, he was still powerful enough to strike fear into her and she backed away. "It is a good thing the choice is not yours then isn't it, dear Zelda?"

"W-what do you mean?" Zelda ducked out of his way and attempted to get some space between them. Suddenly her whole body became entangled with heavy black chains and she was gagged. Ganondorf smirked and turned to Link, who up to this point had been nursing Xeial but had now jumped to his feet. "It is just as Saeru foretold," said the Gerudo, "it is her will that the choice would not be for Zelda to make but for the one who hurt her so." Link snarled and jumped forward only to find himself entangled in similar chains to Zelda. He moved his head and saw that the spell came from the two witches, who had up to this point been casual observers. Impa had jumped forward too but the next moment, she had vanished completely. Ganondorf laughed maniacally at the shock on the Hylian's faces. Then he espied Sir Kwaksalot still sitting in Link's hand.

An instant later the rubber duck had been snatched from him and for a terrible moment, Ganondorf's softer (more disturbing) side shone through as he cradled his precious rubber duck against his chest. Clearly Link was the only one who could hear the said rubber duck's squeaks of protest. The next moment, Ganondorf realised just how ridiculous he looked and with an almost embarrassed snort, he tossed the hapless toy to one side. Link winced at the painful 'thud' sound as the poor duck crashed into the opposite wall. A soft plea to be 'scquaved' could be heard.

"Er, as I was saying…" continued Ganondorf, laughing slightly as he returned to his glowering, menacing self, "Saeru has told me what I am to do and she bids me to tell you this: Lefestra, you were responsible for destroying my very soul. Your betrayal cut me like a stab wound…"

"I don't care what Saeru said!" Shouted Link, struggling against his bonds "Let Zelda go! There is no reason to do this to her."

"Heh! You are just as predictable as I thought. Naboouru was right about you." Laughed Ganondorf.

"Let. Her. Go."

Very slowly and deliberately Ganondorf ran his hand over Zelda's face and neck down to her décolleté, all the while smirking at Link. "You know, I don't think I will." He decided as he allowed his hand to wander further.

"STOP!" Cried Link, struggling with almost inhuman desperation against his bonds. "I beg you – let her go, Ganondorf!"

The Gerudo nuzzled his head against Zelda's neck, enjoying her screams of terror and grinned at Link. "Tell me why I should?"

"I…I will do wherever you ask of me…" sighed Link, "Just…please don't hurt her. Let her go, please…"

There was a long pause whilst Ganondorf considered this tempting proposal. Zelda, despite her attempts to curb them, could not stop the sobs which racked her body or the tears which stained her cheeks. She cringed and trembled at Ganondorf's cold touch and despised herself for being so powerless against him.

"So much for being a fearless warrior and heir of Lefestra's noble title." Came a honeyed voice from the doorway. Standing on the threshold was the exquisitely lovely Goddess Saeru; an attractive smirk twisted her painted lips as she gazed at Link. "Faced with the thought of your loved one suffering you crumble into nothing. Like father, like son I guess." She glided into the room and stood before Xeial. She sneered down at the exhausted wolf and mocked, "You're just as pathetic as him, you know? Even if he wanted your protection you couldn't help him now – your power's all gone and it's all you can do to will your body into this form, knowing that your true self is meaningless to him. Poor Xeial, had you not done the same thing to me all those years ago, I might have felt some pity for you now but I confess, all I can feel is joy because now you shall feel exactly what it is like to be rejected. You will finally understand my pain."

Xeial growled softly at the goddess and attempted to drag herself to her feet. Saeru giggled as the wolf collapsed again and she clapped her hands, "What ever else I despise about you, Xeial, I've always admired your spirit! You have such dogged determination to stop me at every turn but this time I shall win. You know, indeed you've known for a long time how this will pan out. You must have seen it when you first saw Zelda… does it hurt to be replaced?"

"What are you talking about?" Interrupted Link. Saeru turned to him and peered deep into his eyes and for a moment, Link felt as though his soul was being torn apart. He winced and dragged his eyes away from hers. She chuckled for she had found out all that she sought and turned back to Ganondorf, smiling, "She is a pretty little thing, huh? Whilst you yet need her alive to unlock the power of the Chameleon Stone thus breaking the seal on me, I assure you after that she will be useless – useless to me anyway. I am certain you have some other purpose in mind for her and whatever it is, I promise you: she will yield to you."

Ganondorf grinned and nodded his intentions towards Zelda perfectly clear.

"After all, one does not require a mind in a lover, merely a willing body."

"NO!" Cried Link, "Saeru, please – no!"

"You see – his fear is so apparent!" Laughed Saeru. "You, my friend, are far too easy to ready. Didn't I warn you that I would discover your fears and use them against you? Little fool, you are far too similar to Lefestra for your own good." She rested her cold hand against his cheek and he jerked his head away. "Yet your similarity gives you a certain advantage. I have a strange kindness for you, child and to honour that memory of him I shall offer you a bargain: when Zelda has released me from my prison, you may have her back mind and body in tact. You see, I am fair – I ask only one thing of you in return."

"What's that?" Link was beginning to notice a strange fog settling in on his mind forcing his body to focus on saving Zelda by whatever means necessary. He barely noticed any other presence that hers and he felt her pain acutely.

"I want something that only you can give me – something that I need."

"What do you want?" Sighed Link, the part of him that was not completely fixated on rescuing his princess hated the way he was bowing to Saeru and deep down he knew she could not be trusted but one look at Zelda's terrified face erased all other thoughts but her safety from his mind.

"Terrible what love can do to you, isn't it." smirked Saeru, following his distraught gaze to Zelda's face, "You are so devoted and yet you still don't even know if she likes you. Pathetic, isn't it – even the strongest fall at love's petty darts."

"Just tell me: what are you after?"

"Oh Link, you are spoiling my fun! Can't you allow a girl a little entertainment once in a while? I've been trapped in darkness for a thousand years, you know?"

"Saeru! Please, just tell me what you want!" Cried Link, "I've already said I'll do whatever it takes – just…please let Zelda go."

"Aw poor Link, surely you must know already what I want, it's quite simple really. I want Xeial's signet ring."

"But I…"

"Let me finish! It is rude to interrupt!" Laughed Saeru, playfully resting her fingers against Link's lips. "Of course you wouldn't understand me yet – you don't understand Xeial and her uniqueness. You know of course she was Lefestra's one true love, that is: my replacement, and that she was the only one of the Dream Snatchers he actually bothered to protect from me. Of course he could not stop her transformation into a monster but he did ease the burden on her, allowing her to be a shape-shifter – thus granting himself the boon of not having her taken away from him completely – and he also gave her a unique form of protection." Saeru laughed at Link's pale face and she stroked his golden hair tenderly, "You're clever enough to guess what I will say next. I can already see the comprehension in your beautiful eyes, child. Lefestra protected Xeial's life with his own. The key to destroying the final Dream Snatcher lies not in the power of Illumae, or in physical prowess or magical talent, but in the asking. Only one man held her heart and only his heir has the power to ask her to repay that debt. Only he can move her enough to sacrifice…"

"NO! I can't do that!"

Saeru laughed and leaned towards him, "She loved your ancestor and she loves you enough to give you her soul – if you ask it of her!"

"Amber…? Is this…true…?" whispered Link, gazing down at his beloved pet. He was trying to picture her in her human form but it was impossible to see her as anything but the tiny wolf cub he had found starving in the desert whom, over the last five years, had grown to be his most loyal friend and often his only comfort. She gazed back at him steadily, her ice-blue eyes as calm and canny as ever.

"Remember, this is for Zelda's sake too, Link." whispered Saeru. She signalled to Ganondorf who in turn nodded at the two Gerudo witches. Zelda began writhing in pain as the chains holding her constricted tightly. Saeru froze Link with a touch and laughed at him as he tried to break free of the holding spell she had placed on him. Her golden eyes were lit with a light all of their own, "It seems that Zelda wants to say something…" she laughed. She waved her hand and instantly the gag in Zelda's mouth vanished.

"Link! Don't do it!" She screamed, "Don't! I….aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" Her body slumped forward and she wept uncontrollably, the pain and stress taking its toll on her."

"I am as good as my word, Link." Promised Saeru, gagging Zelda once more. "You've got to lose one of them so who's it going to be – Zelda or Xeial, or do I mean Amber?"

"I…I…" Stammered Link.

"Make your choice!" Shouted the goddess, "I do not have time to waste. Save Amber and condemn your precious Zelda to an eternity of horror or save her and grant me freedom. What is it to be? Who is it to be?"

Link struggled to reach his sword but the bonds were too tight. Saeru laughed at him and shook her head, "Tut-tut, don't you know that your sword is useless against me? One more stunt like that and I shall grant my slave Ganondorf permission to violate Zelda's filthy body before you right now! I'm sure that is a fear both you and Zelda have. Poor Link, does it hurt knowing you can't protect her?"

Link bit his lip and turned his gaze from Zelda. He couldn't bear to see her so tormented, so desperately afraid. He stared down at Amber and she steadily gazed back, understanding in her cold eyes and it hit him: she was telling him it was okay, that she would be okay that she understood that he really only had one option.

"She's here to protect you, Link." Came a voice he recognised as belonging to Sir Kwaksalot, "She said to tell you that she'd give my life to save you – just like you would for her so don't worry, she understands and she doesn't blame you."

Amber turned and rested her head on her paws.

"Well, made your mind up yet, pretty boy?" Sniggered Ganondorf. Link jumped at the sound of his voice and swung around. There was no sign of Saeru, Zelda or Kotake or Koume. The chains holding him down had also vanished, he realised as he launched himself at the grinning King. He soon discovered it was an apparition as he crashed into a work bench. Ganondorf laughed.

"Where is Zelda?" Demanded Link, glowering at the Gerudo.

"Saeru's keeping her as a sort of deposit. So tell me, what are you going to do?"

"Where. Is. Zelda?"

"D'ya wanna see?"

"WHERE IS SHE DAMMIT?"

"Heh, I'll show you!" Laughed the phantom Ganondorf, as he held out the Seeing Stone to show Link the vision therein: Zelda was being dragged away by a group of nightmarish creatures led Saeru, they were heading into an eerie, swirling darkness.

"Where is she taking her?" Cried Link. He felt a hideous pain in his gut as fear and panic set in.

"Into a nightmare from which only you can save her." Smirked Ganondorf, beginning to disappear. "The door to Saeru's realm can only be opened with Xeial's signet ring. Either you can come to Saeru's realm and save Zelda or you and your pretty little pet wolf can disappear." The king sneered and bowed low as he disappeared leaving Link alone with Amber and Sir Kwaksalot. A slight noise drew his attention to his pet, "She says go save the girl." Announced Sir Kwaksalot, "She says Saeru will do things worse than death to Zelda if you don't, and if you truly love her, there shouldn't be any doubt in your mind about what you must do."

"I…f-forgive…you…" Came Xeial's broken voice, from Amber's mouth. "It's been…such…f-fun…g-good…bye...Li..nk…i…pooo…."

"No! AMBER!" Sobbed Link, crashing to his knees besides her, "Don't!"

"It…is…the o-only…w-way…." She sighed, raising her head to gaze adoringly at him. She slowly exhaled and closed her eyes as her body slipped to the floor. She twitched a couple of times and then was still. Her wolf's body melted back into its human form and then gently it vanished into nothing. In her place was a beautiful golden ring – the final signet ring. Its diamond centre glittered in its own light and as Link picked it up he saw an inscription on the band. "May golden light shine through all darkness."

Link felt tears stinging his eyes and he rubbed them away hastily. He clasped the signet ring tightly in his hand and stood. Xeial was right – he had to save Zelda. Only she could stop Saeru – only she could disburse the darkness Saeru would bring. Link took a deep breath and straightened his shoulders. He would have time to grieve for Amber later. Right now he had a bigger priority. He had a goddess to kill.

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**so….**

**Er, I'll get on with writing chapter 34 then :) remember to review!!  
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	34. Into the darkness following light

Sorry, it's taken me a while to upload this. It's a little shorter than usual but I have already written the next chapter and just need to type it up. For all of you who have commented on this already, alas this story is nearing its end! I'll be so sad to finish it, although that doesn't mean I'll drag it out for longer than necessary. I have already written the ending (cries to self) so I just need to fill in a few gaps (probably another 2 chapters worth) and then it's done.

Anyways, enough of my waffling! A huge thank you to: **booklover13, ADD Kyuubi Naruto, Link's Ocarina Babe, QuinKilo1055, mysterygal3189 and la generala** for your reviews. I can't believe I've had 200 reviews and 9400 hits! **Thank you all so much****!** Hearing your feedback really has driven this story and I probably would have given up long ago without all your support and wow, this is beginning to sound like an Oscar's acceptance speech so I'll shut up now before I start crying. Hope you enjoy this chapter! XX

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Chapter Thirty-Four – Into the darkness – following light

The darkness was all encompassing and oppressive. It filled the gaps in the air all around her and made her feel as though she was being drowned, smothered and suffocated all at the same time. Everywhere she looked she saw hideous, malformed beasts, they crowded in on her, pushing and tugging her every which way. Watching impassively from her black throne draped in silk, Saeru lorded over all, the fire from her eerie golden eyes bathing all in a dull, empty kind of glow. Ganondorf stood at her side, attending to her with the air of a lap dog. Zelda tried not to imagine the vile things he had planned for her just as she tried to remain strong and unshaken in this nightmarish realm but she could not fool Saeru.

"Are you frightened?" Whispered the Goddess, her voice ricocheting around the vast chamber in a rather ghostly manner, she laughed as an involuntary tremble passed through Zelda. "Why, we've barely started yet! If you think things are bad now, just you wait until a year has passed, or ten years, or a decade, a lifetime and eternity! I have barely begun my game with you, my little plaything."

Zelda turned away, biting back her tears. As much as she tried not to wish it, she couldn't help but long for Link to save her but in a way, she hoped he would not come. It was not because she knew that if he stayed away, he could seal the doorway to Saeru's realm permanently, she knew Xeial had the power to close the door and with both Zelda and Saeru trapped inside, there could be no escape for either of them. Zelda's sacrifice would ensure the safety of the world. In reality, Zelda's mind didn't contemplate the bigger picture – her motive for wishing Link would stay away, as unselfish as it was, was merely an expression of her desire to ensure his happiness. She couldn't picture her chaotic hero choosing to face death and the possible destruction of the world, coupled with the loss of his dearest companion, just for her sake.

Zelda harboured no illusions about herself and her behaviour towards him. She had treated him with friendly distain and had met nearly every one of his advances with a scornful rebuttal. Even if he did love her, she had never given him much encouragement to believe the feeling was mutual and so why would he now sacrifice everything to dash to her rescue? Especially when, on the flip side of the coin, he would save the world, become a hero and would no doubt bag the extremely lovely Xeial in the bargain too. Xeial, or Amber as she had been known, was devoted to him and Link had certainly cared for her. Once returned to her true form, she would waste no time in promoting a change to their platonic relationship. Zelda would become Link's dream – lovely and pleasurable but forgotten in time.

The little part of her that believed in him could barely compete with such logic. If she had bothered to listen she would have been able to convince herself that Link, for all his faults, was sincere. That voice would have encouraged her to hope that he and Xeial would find a way to break the seal, it might have even led her to realise that love has to take precedence over friendship. But she was trapped in a nightmare of Saeru's creation. The little voice of hope was inaudible above the whisperings of the Goddess – there was no point in hoping in her friend. He wouldn't come for her.

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Meanwhile Impa was debating what to do. After her rude ejection from the castle at Ganondorf's hands, she had found herself lying on the flat roof of Castle Town's weapons store. A strange noise bugged her ears, defying recognition until a few moments later when the sun burst through the thick clouds and she had a moment of epiphany. It was market day, and not just any market day – it was the first market day of the first month of the New Year. In layman's terms this meant that nearly all of Hyrule's residents were congregated in the rather small towns square for the express purposes of commerce. That was the proclaimed reason for the gathering in any event. Impa knew that the real driving force behind the mass congregation was the ever present promise of free food, cheap wine and, if one was interested in such things, questionable women with loose morals.

The excitement of the event, often fuelled by the vast quantity of wine the Hylians managed to consume, meant the first market of the first month of the New Year always ended in a mass brawl, after which the people, thoroughly satisfied by a day's excesses, would attempt a journey home. The journey would be successful for the few sober and lucky, nine out of ten Hylians would wake the following morning in some random part of Hyrule Field (usually miles from their actual destination) sporting cuts and bruises they had no memory of receiving, suffering from mysterious-yet terrible- headaches and a sudden loathing for all grape-based liquids. Then they would all shakily stand and a universal vow would be passed to forevermore abstain from all forms of intoxicating liquor.

The vow generally held for three hundred and sixty four days but there was just something in the atmosphere of the first market of the first month of the New Year that just enthralled people and cast a strange date/event specific amnesia pertinent to the previous year's events and off they would go. The cycle would be complete. The riots would begin again.

Impa, being Impa and therefore opposed to anything sounding remotely entertaining, observed the joyous, slightly raucous throng below her with her customary scowl. She had had another moment of enlightenment and had been stuck by what was possibly her 'best idea ever' but she was having difficulty imagining the execution of her wonderful plan. Begrudgingly, she admitted that this was where Rauru and Kru came in handy, Rauru especially. Her colleagues were guaranteed to step in and cleverly turn her half-formed ideas and words into an effective reality and she could really use their insight right now, but she didn't know where they were. She looked around her position again and half-smiled. She didn't know how to get off the roof either.

Her observations had shown her something useful though – the Gerudo guards were keeping a low profile. That was typical. The Gerudo could be depended upon to make themselves scarce in the event of any civil unrest. Naturally the gates to the castle were firmly closed and the guards were patrolling the walls (if occasionally peeping one's head above the ramparts could be called patrolling) but other than that the Gerudo were keeping well clear of the crowd. Impa didn't blame them; in fact, she thought their avoidance was quite sensible. Beautiful women, dressed in skimpy armour and amorous, slightly inebriated men didn't mix well in her opinion and any objection a Gerudo might happen to make should she be approached by a Hylian male in such a state would only stir up the crowd more.

Impa was glaring at the castle when a flash of white caught her attention. She peered back into the crowd and saw a familiar white haired individual pass her line of sight. For a moment, she was convinced she was hallucinating: to find Rauru and Kru at such an opportune moment seemed almost too coincidental and then she remembered their plans for the day. If she had been so rudely ejected from the castle, it stood to reason that her colleagues had been unwelcome too. Her second glare in their direction confirmed her assumption: her fellows were escorted by a Gerudo woman. It was only when the Gerudo woman happened to turn around, that Impa recognised Nabooru.

This new information was not entirely to her liking, but then again, neither was Nabooru, but Impa knew that she would have to make do with the situation as it was. She could deal with the dreadful Gerudo spy later, right now she needed Rauru and if she didn't hurry, they'd be out of her sight.

She yelled his name. He did not hear. She tossed a stone at his head. It missed and hit an unfortunate trader who subsequently started a street brawl. Short of jumping from the roof, which would probably result in her breaking her legs, and if chasing them (if her legs had somehow miraculously remained in tact and she hadn't lost sight of them by that time) Impa was all out of ideas. She contented herself by waving her arms frantically, shouting his name and when that failed, glaring at him.

Obviously everything was his fault. In Impa's mind the blame could always be attributed to the men in her life, especially when she was angry, and she was very, very, VERY angry. Her eyes narrowed further and she began muttering some unkind, and unjust, things about her most long-standing and loyal friend.

Rauru, threading his way through the crowd as he followed Nabooru, was unaware. His mind was filled with outrage – really that usurper king, Ganondorf, had gone too far this time – turfing Kru and he out of the castle without reason. True, Nabooru had deigned to accompany then when she realised that the market-come-brawl was in full swing, and even odder, had been genuinely nice to them both, but something was off. Something _felt_ off. And then there was that nagging feeling that someone's eyes were fixed – no were glaring- into the back of his head from near by. This upset the benevolent judge more than Ganondorf's rude treatment. He liked to think that he was liked and to feel some strangers…hatred…so clearly, boring into his skill, it was just plain mean.

Nabooru noticed his discomfort as she glanced around again and she halted. Her large golden-brown eyes studied him dispassionately for a moment, making him squirm, before she asked softly: "What is it?"

"I…um…feel as though I am being watched."

Nabooru cast an experienced eye around the crowd and sneered, "Well that is to be expected – we're in the midst of many people, there's bound to be thieves and whatnot lurking in the shadows waiting to pounce on the unsuspecting and, no disrespect, you two don't exactly go in for the understated look, do you? You're walking targets."

"I know that," sighed Rauru, "and if it was only that, I assure you I would feel no dread, but this sensation…it is like a beam of pure hatred is being directed at me from on high and I don't feel comfortable!"

"On high, you say?" Nabooru glanced up and almost immediately met the death-gaze of Impa. "Figures." She muttered. She directed her companions' attention towards the roof where Impa stood. Both Rauru and Kru turned a peculiar shade of green and would probably have attempted to hide themselves, had it not been so apparent that the Sheikah had seen them.

"Do you want me to rescue her?" Sighed Nabooru.

"Well, no but…" Rauru shrugged helplessly, and to his surprise, the Gerudo laughed at him. In a moment, Nabooru had gone. It didn't take long for the nimble woman to scale the awning of the shop, and in a relative space of time, Impa was reunited with her 'overjoyed' companions. Their protestations of relief and surprise were cut short by their unpredictable matriarch.

"There's no time for your practised insincerities," she said, coldly, "not that I believe them anyway. We must hurry – that pig Ganondorf has kidnapped Zelda!"

"So what's new?" Muttered Kru, rebelliously, "It's a monthly occurrence for him!!"

"The difference this time, you moron, is that he's managed to get a vile goddess-type-woman to assist him and with her mystical powers he managed to eject me from the castle and drag my Zelda into a dark portal of some sort and they swear that only Link can save her but to do so he is going to have to sacrifice Amber, his pet, so there! There is a clear difference!"

"You're not kidding!" Sighed Rauru, rubbing his beard thoughtfully.

"What's more," continued Impa, as if he had not spoken, "even if he does go and attempt to rescue her that fool of a so-called king has made a deal with this goddess and who knows what they intend to do! If Link goes to her rescue then they can break the seal on that Goddess's power and if that happens I don't know what will happen to us, but I guarantee you it will be bad!"

"It seems to me," mused Rauru, "that you are going to have to trust Link to do the right thing then, aren't you? Out of everyone, he knows the most about the Chameleon Stone after all, and he will do what he thinks is best. There is nothing we can do but pray for a positive outcome and, Impa, I do wish you would refrain from glaring at me so! I am merely stating the obvious truth, unpalatable to you though it may be."

"I am fully aware that I will have to trust that damned criminal." Said Impa, scowling "but there is something we can do to help him. Something we should have done a long time ago…"

"…and that is…?"

"We're going to stir up a little trouble for King Ganondorf." She snarled, "It's about time we used our influence for something bad! Here's my plan – you may execute it for me, Rauru…"

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The deeper into the castle Link got, the darker and quieter it became. He was certain the unpleasant atmosphere was Saeru's doing. He was not by nature a nervous man, and he was unmoved by the obvious traps and hallow voices that dogged his every step, seeking to disturb him. His Calatian training had been harsh and punishing but it had all been to prepare him for this moment – it had been designed to rid him of his fears and to a great extent, it had. The ghostly wails and unpleasant illusions did not bother him in the slightest, but Saeru had discovered his one weakness, his only fear, and she used this to torment him. Mingled with the ethereal wails and childish whispers that hung in the air, he could hear Zelda. Her words were barely audible but were distinct: he could hear her convincing herself he would not come.

If it was a trick of Saeru's, it was a good one. Link tried to shake the feeling of anxiety he had but even his best attempt at cheeriness sounded uncharacteristically morose for him. He was worried, despite telling himself otherwise, worried for Zelda, worried about what Saeru could do, and moreover worried that he was not strong enough to stop her. He missed Amber so much. It had only been a mere moment since she had gone but already it felt like a lifetime. She had been with him for five years, a constant, loyal friend and in an instant she had gone. And to think she had been a Dream Snatcher all that time – one sworn to protect him! It was hard to take it all in.

As he proceeded, he wondered what he would have done had Xeial not taken the choice out of his hands – would he be where he was now, chasing after Zelda, or would he have abandoned her? Zelda seemed to think he would. Perhaps the sensible option would be to have saved Amber and returned Saeru to her prison, but if he had done that, he would have lived the rest of his life knowing he had condemned Zelda to a nightmare. The guilt would have driven him insane.

Link opened his hand and gazed at Xeial's signet ring. It rested in his palm, glittering with unnatural light. It was all he had left of Amber. If he had abandoned Zelda, all he'd have left of her would be painful memories. "DAMN YOU, SAERU! DAMN YOU TO HELL!" He shouted into the increasing gloom. There was an answering giggle. "Amber, what am I to do?" He whispered, despairingly. To his surprise, the signet ring began to sparkle more, pale gold and silver lights were lifted from the gemstone and began to dance in the air around his hand and then very slowly, a beam of light began to push between the glitter. The ring began to tremble. Link stared at it in confusion. If Xeial was trying to communicate with him, the message wasn't getting through! At a complete loss, Link decided the best thing to do would be to carry on walking through the intolerable darkness until he found a path or doorway or anything that would lead him to Saeru.

As if reading his thoughts, the ring trembled again, drawing his attention. The glittering lights surrounding the ring blinked and shrunk, narrowing into a single thin band of colour that spiralled to a point directly in front of him. After a moment of thought, Link sighed and slipped the ring on his little finger. The beam narrowed again and stretched, dragging itself into a line, about an arms length, of tiny lights pointing into the darkness directly ahead of him. The trembling dimmed into a soft throb that was strangely comforting. Link gazed at it for some time, and then moved his arm left. The beam of light disbursed and unfocussed as he did and the ring shuddered.

"Okay, I think I get how this works now." Said Link, with a little nod. He moved his hand around until the beam was in a straight line again and smirked, "I think I gotta go that-a-way!"

Following the path set by the ring was actually a lot easier than he had anticipated. Its beam of twinkling lights led him faultlessly through the castle, into its deepest, darkest depths. Apart from the occasional guard and one or two nightmare creatures, the place was deserted and he soon found himself in a wide chamber, lit with pathetically small lanterns at each wall. Jutting out into the middle of the room was a huge staircase, carpeted in scarlet leading high up to a point beyond his line of sight. The first ten stairs or so were wide and shallow but after that they narrowed and steepened, at the point where they narrowed, stone walls rose up, surrounding the stairwell. They were covered in dark tapestries and murals depicting scenes of terror and death. A lesser man than Link would have been deterred by this uninviting vista – it was a scene not for the faint hearted. On top of all that, there was a strange humming noise in the air that reminded Link of a pipe organ, only the organ in this instance was apparently being massacred. This upset him more than the vile images on the walls. Link was a talented musician and had very sensitive ears: the "music" coming from on high hurt them.

"Oh well," he sighed as he placed his foot on the first step, "I am supposed to be walking into a nightmare, I can't expect it to be a pleasant experience!" With this philosophical thought in mind, he began his epic climb. He higher he got, the harder it was to breath, the more the walls leaned in on him and the louder that terrible organ playing got and the more his sensitive ears hurt. It was driving him to a point of insanity. Finally he had had enough. He stopped and pressed both hands against his ears. Instantly the noise was gone. So had the stairs and the walls.

Link was standing on nothing. Despite telling himself not to do it, he just had to look down. His eyes were filled with the lovely vision of a cold, stone floor shimmering in the dull glow of the lanterns looking so beautifully HARD. He gulped and quickly fixed his gaze on a point directly in front of him. So the stairs were an illusion? Fine, he could deal with that, he thought. He took a breath and gingerly raised his foot, intending to place it on the next stair up.

He almost screamed when his foot passed through thin air. It was only by some miracle of quick thinking that he did not jump back in shock. He gulped and took another deep breath. The air at his feet seemed solid enough, he thought, although he did not make the mistake of looking down again – he could quite easily picture how the floor looked below him thank you very much, he did not need to see it again. He decided that he would rather have his ears mauled than drop to his death so he moved his hands away. If anything the hideous music seemed more off key and louder than before. He cringed but stayed in place. Slowly he raised his hand in front of him. Right on cue the scarlet-carpeted stairs and depressing black tapestry walls were back in place. It seemed normal enough, and when he very, very carefully prodded the next stair up with his foot it seemed solid enough but he was not convinced.

That was until he heard Zelda scream from very near by and suddenly thoughts of his own safety were blasted from his mind. The signet ring throbbed almost painfully, as if spurring him into action. Link took a breath, said a very quick prayer, covered his eyes with one hand whilst keeping the other firmly in front of him and then ran. He half stumbled, half-crawled up the remaining stairs in a remarkably quick time. He expected to drop through the floor and meet a rather squished end at any moment and did not dare breathe or open his eyes instead he just kept moving his legs blindly, running and running and running until THUD.

His wild dash was cut short as he fell over the highest step, lurched forward and slammed into a rather imposing oak door at the top. He picked himself up with a groan and rubbed his head. "Ugh, there's gonna be a huge bruise there…" he remarked as his fingers located an orange-sized bump on his forehead. He blinked a few times and wondered at the pretty lights he could see floating around him. He smiled blankly, completely zoned out until he noticed the door before him and everything came flooding back.

"Oh right, Zelda." He said. He shook his head and hoped the headache he had acquired would soon go away along with the slight dizziness he felt and the sudden nausea. The lights from the signet ring were slamming into this door urgently, and without thinking about it, Link knew why. Saeru had to be there, she just had to be. And that infernal organ music was still playing.

Link sighed and drew his sword. "Help me, Amber." He prayed as he pushed the door open.

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Like I said, I just need to type up the next chapter so expect to have a post within the next couple of weeks! Let me know what you think of this!!

Buh-bye XX


	35. To love and to lose

Howdy! Hurrah, I actually managed to update relatively quickly for me! I don't want to ramble too much in the foreword, just as always I want to express my appreciation to my lovely reviewers who keep me so entertained and focussed on this silly story! thank you:** _Fallen Dragonfly, QuinKilo1055, la generala, Booklover13, Mr Choco and Link's Ocarina Babe_**I really do appreciate you taking the time to give me feedback

:D

given his apparent popularity I might have to bring back Sir Kwaksalot (....just had a great idea for next chapter...) and Quin, you may notice a little one of your ideas / thoughts coming through in this chapter....mwhahahaha. Sorry, couldn't resist the urge! Oh, and sorry for the bad language later in this chapter, hope it doesn't offend anyone :/

anyways, please enjoy!

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Chapter Thirty Five – To love and to lose

He wasn't expecting the room behind that huge doorway to be quite so empty and silent. Link double checked the perimeter and sighed. Saeru certainly liked to make life hard for him. At least that dreadful organ music had faded now, along with the ghostly wailings and Zelda's sobs; in fact, the only thing now audible was his own breathing, which was slightly quickened after his mad dash up the invisible stairway, and the steady beat of his heart. The room was very large, wide and spacious and surprisingly well lit. Towards the back of the room in the middle was a throne, upholstered in expensive-looking black silk. The back of the throne rose to the ceiling where more swathes of silk hung. These cascaded down from an ornate ceiling rose, spilling over the seat of the throne and on to the floor. The throne arms were made of gold and were intricately worked; hanging from each was an ornate crystal lantern, cunningly designed so that prisms trembled in the air and on the silk all around them as the flames danced.

Link took a step closer and glanced around cautiously. Although the room was clearly empty, he could sense Saeru's presence and knew she was close – but where? The room offered no clues and when he held his signet ring aloft the beam that had guided his steps so determinedly faltered and faded.

"Well that's no good." He exclaimed, shaking his hand in a vain attempt at encouraging the ring to work again. This time the soft sparkle that had lit the diamond signet disappeared altogether. "Really helpful, Xeial!" He said, and chuckled despite himself. He looked around again, hoping to see something he had missed and then he saw it: resting between the soft folds of satin on the seat of the black throne, there was a note. It read:

"Hah! I knew you would come here eventually! If you want to find me, why not use your senses, as to be fair – your brain is pretty much useless! And I do hope, for the sake of your precious Zelda, you have brought that which belongs to me otherwise things might get a little…unpleasant. See you, little hero, or maybe not. Saeru X"

Link ignored much of the note and concentrated on the part that mattered, "Use my senses?" He wondered aloud. He read the note again and shook his head. "I wonder if Lefestra knew that his goddess-lover was a sandwich short of a picnic!" After deciding that Saeru's note was really very stupid, he decided to take her instructions literally. To use his senses would require some planning, he decided. He had already used sight and that had been all but useless – the room was all but empty. Hearing was a no-no too: all he could hear was himself making alive noises. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. He could smell the faintly musky scent of the silk throne and the bitter woodiness of fire from the lanterns but other than that nothing struck him as unusual.

Next he ran his hands all over the silk throne, the fabric was cool and smooth to the touch – nothing odd there. So that left taste. As much as Link imagined that Saeru would enjoy watching him lick the walls in an attempt to find her, he decided that for now he would forego that particular sense. Apart from that, he realised, he'd tried all five senses. He opened his eyes hopefully but nothing had changed.

He was confused. It was hard not to lose hope, he realised as he stood peering into the room, searching for clues. No amount of training could have prepared him for such a day as he had had. First torture, then escape, then a fight and then a terrible loss – he knew Saeru was getting the upper hand in this battle of wits, he was vulnerable and she wanted to keep him weak. It would make it impossible for him to triumph over her. He took another deep breath and shook himself mentally. Zelda needed him and Xeial had believed in him, he couldn't give up just yet. "Rely on my senses?" He said, "But how?" He was going to ignore the inner voice that was telling him it was impossible when he realised that he had been ignoring the sense that he relied on so often without thinking.

He stood perfectly still, allowing his body to relax and began to meditate. His eyes fluttered closed and he focussed on his breathing. Finally the sense that hid behind all others could get to work. His sixth sense – some called it intuition, he referred to it as his voice of reason – set to work and to his surprise he began to daydream.

Visions and images darted through his mind in a surreal manner. He was vaguely aware of the gentle contortion on his finger as Xeial's ring channelled power into his mind and reacted to what his mind's eye was seeing. The visions were sometimes blurred and sometimes alarmingly vivid but somehow Link could follow them and understood.

Though his eyes were closed, he could see the throne room, Saeru's throne room, as it was before him. He felt himself stepping forward towards the same black throne; his body seemed to be on full alert. A soft voice from an unknown source tickled his ears, welcoming him in a foreign tongue. His hands touched the twin lanterns that hung from the arms of the chair, they were ice cold and as his fingers touched the glass the room was filled with a gentle tinkling noise. He felt alarmed by this but he did not react with surprise. Rather he felt his eyes close and his fingers slid up the chains of the lanterns and followed the line of the arms to the hem of the trailing black silk. Suddenly he felt himself freeze. His fingers were resting on the silk but it was warm to the touch. He pulled back and his eyes shot open. He found himself gazing into a pair of large golden eyes. He took a step back and felt himself bowing. His eyes were drawn back to the creature. He had never dreamed anything so wonderful in his life. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever beheld. A gentle smile played on her full lips and she turned her head away, a blush painting her cheeks.

"Who…are you?" She whispered, gazing at her feet, embarrassed. "Nobody has e-ever found me before…" He stood and softly, tenderly reached forward – somehow unable to control his compulsion. His fingers reached her face and he tilted her head to face him, he wanted to drink in those eyes again. Her skin was so smooth and lovely, her eyes so lustrous. His hand slid into her long black hair - it was as soft and cool as the silk that covered her throne.

"I am Lefestra." He replied in a whisper and he smiled. Link's eyes shot open and he gasped, his heart was pounding in his chest and his whole body felt heavy and drugged, as if he had not yet awoken from deep slumber. Automatically, he looked towards the throne.

"I'd never imagined he'd seal his memories within you." Said Saeru, almost gently as Link dragged his gaze to her. Her gold eyes flashed and glimmered in the glow of the crystal lanterns and if he didn't know better, he would have thought she was close to tears. But that would require her having a heart, and he knew that the Goddess didn't have one. "Well done, you have found me." She leaned her chin on her hand and grinned at him, "So, did you bring that which belongs to me?"

Link glanced involuntarily at the signet ring and returned his glare to Saeru.

Her smile went a little awry and she looked away. "I know you hate me," She stated, "and I do not ask for, nor indeed deserve anything less from you, but I want you to understand why, Link."

"You know I don't want to hear you." He snapped.

She met his angry gaze and smiled again, "You do." She corrected him, calmly. "To lose something, someone you loved dearly is never easy. Grief in its very nature defies comprehension yet demands an explanation. Why? Why her? Why now? What if…? You would be less than human if you did not ask such things, if you did not seek those impossible answers. You do not want to hear my justification because you believe there is nothing I could do or say that can excuse what I have done to you, yet your heart demands to know why. And for my debt to Lefestra, so help me I am going to make you listen, Link."

"I don't want to know." He repeated, his voice lacked conviction and he could only meet her eyes briefly.

"That vision you had – you saw me in Lefestra's eyes. You witness the moment of our first meeting – the very instant our fates became entangled. You are like your ancestor, Link, and yet you are different. From the moment I laid my eyes on him – the very moment he approached my throne in so bold a manner – he had my heart. I loved him, Link. Do you know what that means for a goddess?" She closed her eyes and a soft smiled played at the corners of her mouth, "Once a goddess gives her heart, she cannot take it back. Lefestra had my heart from the moment we met, but he did not understand, nobody did, that when a goddess gives her heart she loses the part of her that makes her…well in your terms, I suppose you would say: good. When he was mine, when he loved me, I was filled with such joy, such happiness and peace that I did not need a heart to function – he was everything I needed, but then…"

"Then Xeial happened." Link finished her sentence, his attention fixed on the signet ring.

"Yes. The heart that I had so freely given to Lefestra was discarded, it was nothing to him." She gazed at Link, solemnly, "once a goddess has given her heart, she cannot take it back. He took all the best parts of me and filled the void with nothing but pain and jealousy."

"It does not justify what you did to Amber." Sighed Link.

"Stop thinking of Xeial as being your stupid little dog - she was not Amber!" Snorted Saeru, for the first time exhibiting her anger, "Was what Xeial did to me any better to what I did to her? Lefestra took my heart and with her help crushed it into nothing but a stone, all the while playing happy families with her and when I tried to take my power back, he banished me into this hateful darkness and sealed my only exit. And the worst of it was she didn't even love him, she only pretended to so she could take my power for her people."

"That's not true. Nobody would do what Xeial did if their heart was not involved." Retorted Link, "You just couldn't handle the fact that this idiot you were in love with didn't love you back. You are a petty minded, jealous, two-faced, demonic slut!"

Saeru's eyes flashed dangerously and her fingers curled tightly against the arms of her chair. "And Xeial was nothing but a dream snatching dog."

"Maybe literally she was that, but she still had Lefestra's blessing and she had enough power to seal you away! You were scared of her!" Retorted Link, furiously, "And knowing what Xeial would do to you, you used Zelda to blackmail me into doing your will!"

"So what?" Sneered the goddess, her golden eyes glimmered oddly again and she leaned on her hand again. "I had to do something to make you comply."

"You made a foolish gamble! You banked on me deciding to save Zelda!"

"True, but I was gambling on a certainty." She replied, serenely. "I do know what it feels like to be in love, and I know what being in love makes even the most sensible person do and let's be fair, one: you are not a sensible person, and two: you're not exactly subtle about expressing your devotion to your petty 'Princess'. Do you really expect me to believe you'd think twice about rushing to her rescue? Would you really condemn the love of your life to an eternal nightmare for the sake of some mangy bitch?"

"HOW DARE YOU!"

"Haha, settle down, young hothead. I'm only telling you the truth, dear!"

"Amber was not a mangy bitch. She was my friend and you forced her into sacrificing herself and I cannot forgive that, ever!"

"Oh, so that's what happened!" Laughed Saeru, enlightened "I knew I could depend on the ever-wonderful Xeial to do something dramatic. Did you ask it of her?"

"No."

"Oh, so you didn't want to save Zelda? I cannot wait to tell our little princess that!" Smirked the goddess, she put on a foolish voice and added, "He actually wanted to save the life of his little doggie more than you, princess! Hah! That'll make her feel so much better!"

"That's not true…I…"

Saeru giggled, "Couldn't make up your mind which one to save, could you?"

"Oh go to hell, Saeru!" Yelled Link. He drew his sword and glared at her, "I've come to you whether I wanted to or not, and I am here to save Zelda. I've brought you Xeial's signet ring now give me Zelda back!"

Saeru chuckled again and the room darkened. The ground began to tremble and the goddess's eyes began to glow. Link took a firmer grip on his sword and kept his eyes fixed on her.

"As you wish, Linkipoo." She whispered, wickedly. Suddenly her eyes flashed suddenly and Link felt as though he was falling through the floor. The world seemed to be rushing past him at an alarming rate, yet he knew he was safe. He landed on his knees and quickly jumped to his feet. He was surrounded by absolute darkness and as his vision adjusted to the gloom, the black air around him seemed to split into definable shapes. Twisted, deformed creatures pushed in on him, snarling and moaning. Link's method of dealing with them was a little more effective than Zelda's. But then again he was armed with a well-sharpened sword and he was a talented, and furious, soldier.

At the head of the room, he could see Saeru, presiding over all, her gold eyes providing the only lighting for the entire chamber. He kept his eyes on her and in turn, she watched him like a hawk as he mowed down swarms of her servants one after the other. To add to his fury, the horrible organ music was throbbing around his head again.

"Gah! Stop that BLOODY racket!" He yelled, as he hacked another one of Saeru's monsters down.

"Link?" He heard Zelda's surprised cry before he saw her. She was standing in a corner near Saeru's throne and was desperately scanning the darkness before her eyes, seeking him out.

"OVER HERE!" He called back, waving his free hand briefly. As he raised his hand, the final signet ring trembled and then burst into life. A flash of light from it all but blinded him as it shot from the ring. It spiralled up to the ceiling and exploded into a riot of colour. The dark creatures surrounding him cringed and cowered in fear, shielding their eyes.

As this happened, he heard Saeru yelp in surprise and a third voice pipe up, "What racket?" but this remark was ignored. Link was sprinting towards Zelda, who seemed to have become rooted to the spot.

"Y-You came for m-me?" She cried. "Oh Link, you f-fool, y-you…" She was rudely interrupted as he reached her and effectively silenced her by pulling her into an extremely tight embrace, and just when she figured she couldn't breath she realised he had buried his head against her neck and was apologising so profusely because he was weeping.

She smiled as he finally let her go and hastily wiped his eyes, "Foolish, Link." She whispered and gently wiped away his tears. "You shouldn't have come."

"He wouldn't have come if Xeial hadn't forced his hand!" Remarked Saeru, acidly.

"She did WHAT?!" Gasped Zelda, she turned to the goddess and frowned. Saeru answered the unasked question in a typically heartless manner and explained what had apparently happened to Xeial.

"I would have come to save you…" Said Link, turning away from her, "I w-would…"

"I know." Replied Zelda, gently. She nuzzled her check against his and rested her hands on his shoulders, "I am so sorry, Link." She turned his head so that he faced her and added, "Truly I am. Xeial should never have done that! I was not worth her life." And for the first time in her life, Zelda stood on her tiptoes, reached up and planted a soft kiss on his lips.

"Bah! If you two are done canoodling, shall we get down to business, eh?" Interrupted Saeru, angrily. "Much as I enjoyed your fond reunion, which incidentally has made me bilious, you have not yet fulfilled your side of the bargain and until you do, you shall never escape from here."

Link, stunned at Zelda's unprecedented display of affection, completely ignored the goddess and leaned forward and whispered something in his companion's ear. What he was saying seemed both pleasant and shocking to her, for she blushed and then shook her head. Link pulled back and grinned at her, whilst holding her hands and then kissed her forehead. Saeru watched them through narrowed eyes for a moment and then she snapped her fingers. At her side, Ganondorf appeared and he nodded. He moved over to the organ and cracked his fingers once before wiggling them over the keys. He closed his eyes and took a breath before recommencing his massacre of the poor organ. The first chord he played sounded as though somebody had accidentally sat on all the wrong notes of an out-of-tune piano and it instantly grabbed Link's attention (or his annoyance) and he glared at the Gerudo King. With a happy smile, the oblivious Ganondorf continued playing (badly).

"I call this one the 'ode to evil'" He explained, lovingly as his fingers continued to slam down on the keys. "It makes me feel all…I dunno…remarkably wicked and powerful."

"Surprisingly, it makes me feel remarkably pissed off!" Snapped Link, as he continued to glare at the Gerudo. Ganondorf remained oblivious. The hideous "tune" reached a crescendo and it was at this point that Link finally lost his patience.

With an enraged scream, the warrior charged forward, shoving and destroying any shadow beast foolish enough to block his path. He reached his destination in record time and with yet more infuriated shouts, he drew his sword and slammed it into the keyboard and screamed: "Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!!!!!!!"

"M-my organ…?" Ganondorf gazed in dumbfounded confusion at the sword sticking up through the keyboard and turned his incredulous gaze to Link. Link was panting softly and his eyes were positively glowing with fury, one hand still rested lightly on the hilt of his sword. He met Ganondorf's gaze squarely.

"Oh you did NOT just do that!" Growled the Gerudo, imitating one of the characters he remembered seeing on his seeing stone (if he remembered correctly, the show was called 'Don't even go there, girlfriend'. He had liked it.)

"What? How could I have not done that?" Retorted Link, furiously, "There's a bloody big sword sticking out of the frigging keyboard. Of course I've just done that and let me tell you, touch one more note on this baby and the sword is finding its way through your gut! Got it, G*Dork?"

"G*Dork? Is that the best you can do? You know what I say to your insult, huh? Whatever!" Retorted Ganondorf, snapping his fingers in Link's face. "Sticks and stone, bro. Sticks and stones!"

"If that's supposed to mean you don't care what I call you because names don't hurt, perhaps you won't mind if I call you a pathetic, friendless loser, will you? 'Cause that's what you are, Gingerlocks."

"W-what did you…?"

"Carrot top."

"How dare you!!"

"I thought names don't hurt you? Do they just get you all riled up instead, G*Dork? Tell me, what is it like being an asshole?"

"Well, you know once you're used to it…SHUT UP you green clothed, tight-wearing Mincer."

"Hey these clothes are new! And they're pantaloons, not tights."

"Yeah and that's not a dress, right?" Snorted Ganondorf, pointing at Link's tunic.

"Yes, it is a dress. Big deal!" Replied Link, in his sunniest manner. "What's wrong with a guy dressing in girl's clothes? Some women find it rather attractive, actually and it beats wearing stinky old armour that smells like a dog's just peed on it."

"Gentlemen, please," Interrupted Saeru, with deceptive gentility, "You are becoming more and more annoying. We are not here to trade insults, rather we are going to revive my power, are we not? She smiled sweetly at the pair and added, "And one more stupid word from either of you will result in castration. Got it?"

The two enemies glanced at each other, sharing a moment of manly horror at the prospect of Saeru's wrath and nodded at her. Ganondorf just couldn't help adding, "he started it."

"Me?" Exclaimed Link, for the moment forgetting Saeru's dire warning, "Who was it murdering that poor keyboard. If you had even played one note in a tuneful manner I wouldn't have minded but for the Goddesses sake, it sounding like you was stomping on a barrel of tone-deaf mutant kittens."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. Really!"

"IF I HAVE TO TELL YOU AGAIN…!" Shouted Saeru, jumping up from her throne, she glared at the pair of them and audibly ground her teeth. They fell silent again and she rubbed her temples with a pained look on her face. "Suddenly I feel ancient." She remarked. "Now then Zelda must…" She glanced around the room and frowned. "Zelda?" Suddenly a terrible frown appeared on her face as she realised an awful truth and she swung around to face Link. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH ZELDA?"

"Me? Why would I have done anything to her?" countered Link, with his most innocent look.

Saeru did not buy into his cute, ingenious appeal and the sight of those big blue eyes staring up at her with almost angelic appeal filled her only with deep suspicion. She was after all a heartless goddess. She glared at him, "I am warning you, tell me now…"

"Why? What will you do if I don't?" He snorted, "For a goddess you sure are dumb! Think about it, what can you threaten me with? The organ's broken so you can't torment me with that. For reasons that'll become clear soon, I'll probably never have need of my...uh...vital organ again and you can't do anything about my only fear because I've..." he stopped and closed his mouth and smiled.

"You've already spirited her away."

"I'd say more like I've done what I came to do."

"And trapped yourself in the process. Smart move, you jackass!" Sneered Saeru.

"Well it is kinda clever, you've got to give me credit for that! You see – I gave Zelda Xeial's ring and used its power to warp her back into the real world, thus rescuing her and leaving you, G*dork and I trapped down here forever and whilst it's not exactly a great prospect for me, at least this way she can seal you and the stupid dork king in here forever, whilst hiding the Lizard Pebble in a place where it'll never be found again and I'll be remembered for eternity as a wonderful, selfless hero."

"What a wonderful plan. You know it just reeks of world-class moron" Said Saeru, her voice positively dripping with sarcasm, "You really expect me to buy it? You – the most selfish oaf ever to grace the known world - are willing giving up the freedom you so loved just for the sake of a pitiful brat who'll never know her own heart? Please! You really think I'm stupid enough to believe that you'd give up absolutely everything and condemn yourself just to spite me?"

"You know it's the truth." Replied Link, almost gently, "You said it yourself – you know what love does to a person. The decision to save Zelda might have been taken out of my hands by Xeial but in my heart of hearts, I always knew what I had to do and sooner or later, I would have done it. You may think sacrificing myself to rescue her is an elaborate gesture but believe me, if it were required, I'd go to far greater lengths to keep her safe."

"Bah! It's pathetic - all this devotion for someone who doesn't love you back? You truly are a fool, Link."

"Well I have my own theory on that but you know, I really don't care if she loves me or not. I love her and that is reason enough for what I'm doing."

"What a complete retard." Muttered Saeru, darkly.

"As the lovely G*dork reminded me, sticks and stones, Saeru, sticks and stones! And since we're all going to be trapped down here for a long, long, long, long, long, long, long time to come, we might as well all try to be friends, whaddya say?"

"I'd rather eat my own vomit." Replied Ganondorf, looking up from his mournful contemplation of his now-broken evil-inspiring-pipe-organ. Link grinned inanely at him, making the Gerudo king groan and turn away in disgust. "Saeru, please…is there nothing you can do?" He begged.

For a long time, Saeru stared at Link, putting all her loathing into a look that even Impa would have been pleased with before curling her lips and snorting, "Of course there's something I can do. The retard hasn't thought of everything, you know!" From the folds of her scarlet gown she drew forth an object that shone like a grey star and held it forward reverently. Like Ganondorf, Link's eyes were drawn immediately to it. It was a strange object, cut into the shape of a rudimentary heart, made completely of diamond yet it did not shine brilliantly like a diamond, rather it seemed to be cloudy and tired. A pair of dull gold hands with long fingers gripped the stone in an eternally soft clasp, and on each long finger there was a circular grove with a shape cut out of the centre. Saeru gazed lovingly down at the object and then looked at Link.

"Recognise this?" She whispered, wickedly.

Link could only stare back at the object, his face a picture of surprise and alarm. He hadn't seen the object for a long time but he could never forget it in all its lacklustre glory.

After all, he had been the one charged with protecting the Chameleon Stone from Saeru.

"Oh crap." He said.

* * *

As mentioned in the foreward, many apologies for the swears in this chapter, its not normally my style but I thought the occasion kinda demanded more 'adult' language. Er, anyways, hope you enjoyed the less-angsty and dark chapter. There's only 3 more to go (ish...)

Go on...hit the review button, you know you wanna..... :P


	36. Famous Last Words

Wow, so sorry for not updating in ages. I had a really bad case of writer's block (well - that and the fact I got distracted by games (again)). It took ages to come up with a concept for this and for ages I had only 3 pages written but I have been working like mad this week and managed to add another 10 pages today. It was fun to write the latter half!

Anyway, so as not to waffle, I shall take the time to express my thanks to those of you who kindly reviewed the last chapter: **QuinKilo1055, Fallen Dragonfly, Irelandgal131, la generala, Booklover13 and Link's Ocarina Babe! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!!!! and sorry for not replying personally to all your reviews. **

So here's chapter 36 – please enjoy!

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Chapter 36 – Famous last words

Impa gazed at the fruits of her labour and for the first time that day was struck by worry. It had been disturbingly easy to whip up the frenzied support of the townspeople and now she found herself marching side by side with Nabooru, heading straight for the castle. She couldn't quite remember if this is what she had been intending or not. And why Nabooru had chosen to come along when it meant attacking her own kind she couldn't fathom. She had inkling that it was something to do with Link, but when the name of the heathen idiot (which was Impa's new pet name for him) came into conversation, Nabooru had only blushed very slightly and had said nothing. 'Very suspicious', thought Impa, 'but not necessarily a bad thing'. Link who was (in her opinion) a typical male who therefore thought with his loins not his brain, might be weaned away from his unfortunate passion for her ward if she could somehow encourage him to cast his eyes in the direction of the frankly gorgeous Gerudo. If Zelda could be made to watch whilst this happened, then all the better, thought Impa.

It was only when she thought this through a little more thoroughly that she finally gave in and gave Link, and by extension all male-kind, a little credit. As much as she hated him (for reasons that were now unclear to her) she had to admit that most men she knew who fell in love were loyal to their beloved. She had not thought of this problem before but now it crossed her mind, she did begin to wonder what exactly would happen if there was genuine affection between her ward and the idiot? Realising that such thoughts were: (a) too stupid to dwell on, (b) irrelevant because there was no way Zelda could love such a twerp and, (c) she had far more important things to think of right now, she snapped out of her reveries. As she realised, she had worse things to worry about at that moment in time. Namely, what the hell was she doing leading an army into battle?!

She glanced at Rauru who was marching, or rather being pushed along by the crowd, standing at her side and saw that his skin had gone as white as his beard. He stared straight ahead and seemed to be talking to himself. It took a moment for her to realise that he was praying. Kru had somehow managed to worm his way out of the whole thing and was nowhere to be seen and behind her, helping the judges lead the way, was almost the entire Hylian population.

Quite how Rauru's speech had gone from hopelessly dull to charismatic and impassioned had completely passed her by. All she knew was that one moment, her colleague had been talking to an disinterested audience about their predicament, the next moment he had suddenly gained incomparable amounts of charisma, wit and charm and he was stirring the crowd with a rousing rendition of the trials of the rightful Princess (Zelda) at the usurper Ganondorf's hands and the next moment, his audience had gone berserk.

It was probably the alcohol.

As one, the Hylians had risen to the challenge, grabbed whatever weapons they could find, from damp dishcloths to particularly lethal kunai and had called for their leaders to march them to victory. The Hylians were going to take back Hyrule for the Hylians and they were going to have a Hylian Queen on the throne and have Hylian heirs. They didn't want Gerudo rule anymore.

Nabooru watched the antics of the crowd from a safe distance, realised the direction they were going in and sighed. Clearly it was her duty as second in command of the Gerudo army to prepare her own troops for the drunken rabble that was going to attack en masse, but she honestly couldn't see how she could do it without being murdered herself. And she felt slightly responsible for the judges too.

If she was wondering what her native subordinates would think of her leading a rebel army into her King's castle, she was soon to find out. To her it seemed that the massive castle gates were reached in no time at all. She glanced at the judges and smiled to herself – never before had she seen such a pair of reluctant generals. As Impa thought, she didn't believe Rauru had actually intended to stir up such a mob. Impa's original idea was to recruit a few likely-looking men to storm the castle and aid Link. Unfortunately, his impassioned words had lead the crowd to take the words 'Who will rise to this most dangerous of challenges?' to mean 'Fight! FIGHT! **FIGHT!**' and apparently that is what they intended to do. They were certainly chanting those words. Nevertheless, the judges had made their bed and now they would have to lie in it. War was upon them all.

The unfortunate maiden guarding the main gates was certainly surprised to see her. "L-Lady Nabooru?" Exclaimed the young guard, her face a picture of almost comic shock. "Wh-what are you doing here?"

"Amazingly enough, I'm demanding entrance to the castle! I-we want to see King Ganondorf." Nabooru studied her fingers as she spoke.

"Er…what?"

Nabooru glanced up at the guard and her gold eyes flashed dangerously, "You heard me."

"Er, L-Lady Nab-Nabooru…um…why are you with such a r-rabble?" Queried the guard nervously.

Nabooru looked behind her at the Hylians and then back at the guard as she pondered the question. It was one she had great difficulty in answering.

Suddenly the guard's face disappeared from the spy hole and a heated discussion could be heard from behind the doors. As the two guards spoke in rapid Gerudo, Nabooru had no difficulty understanding their words, she was just a little confused by them. She was even more confused when the guard's young face was replaced by one of the Gerudo matrons in the spy hole.

"Ah, Captain Nabooru," Said the older woman, "I am glad you are here." She looked over Nabooru's shoulders and gazed blankly at the make-shift Hylian army behind her, taking especial note of the uncomfortable-looking judges and their improvised weapons. "Are these people with you?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

Nabooru scratched her head and tried to figure out how to answer the question? Should she say that she believed their King had lost the plot and she was converting to the winning team? Did she admit she had a crush on the guy that Ganondorf was holding captive? Did she explain that she felt sorry for the judges? Or did she just shrug and smile. The latter option seemed the most plausible so that is what she did. "Why are you glad I'm here anyway, Karista?" She asked, quickly diverting attention from her self.

There was a sigh from behind the heavy oak doors and slowly they opened. "I think you'd better see for yourself, Captain." Answered Karista. She and her guards stood to one side and allowed the Hylian mob entrance to the castle without resistance. Surprised by this, the army didn't immediately attack.

"To be honest, we're getting a bit sick of being here anyway so, um…yeah – we surrender." Said Karista, laying down her scimitar with bored ease.

"Er…excellent." Announced Impa, finding her voice and confidence once again. "We demand to see the Usurper King Ganondorf."

"Fine, go right ahead but be warned – there is a queue." Said the guard, morosely. She pointed in the direction of the grand staircase and rolled her eyes – she added in Gerudo to Nabooru, "The reason we're leaving is up there too. Go see for yourself! He was that way the last time we checked."

Nabooru glanced once at the guards, frowning and turned back to Impa, "I think it would be best if just we three go, the rest of you secure the castle." The crowd agreed to the plan with heartfelt cries of victory and Nabooru rubbed her temples.

"What is going on?" Wondered Rauru, aloud.

"I don't know but we're going to find out." Stated Nabooru. "Come on!"

**

* * *

**

"How the hell did you get your filthy hands on that?" Demanded Link, lunging towards the Chameleon Stone.

"Ah-ah-ah! Naughty!" Giggled Saeru, vanishing from before him and appearing in another spot in the room an instant later. "Does it really matter, Link?" She smirked and snuggled the glittering stone to her breast.

"It matters to me! How the hell did you get your hands on it?"

"I handed it over to her." Said Ganondorf.

"YOU!" Link swung at the hapless Gerudo King.

"Oi! Don't be naughty!" Yelled Saeru, projecting a barrier around Ganondorf to deflect Link's blow. Robbed of a very natural urge to murder Ganondorf, Link swung around and shot a death glare at the sniggering goddess. "You know you look like a caged tiger – all snarling and roaring but you must know by now that you cannot harm either of us when you're in my realm." She informed him.

Link sighed and lowered his sword amid Saeru's congratulations for being a 'good boy'. He shrugged and turned to her, "I know it's useless us fighting – we're never gonna escape here Reptile Rock or not – but I'll never tolerate you."

"Such haughtiness doesn't suit you, you know. You'd need to be a better person before you can say such things without all those around you falling about laughing." Remarked Saeru.

"Well you're gonna have to get used to it, aren't you? Zelda's probably sealed us down here already so we're doomed to an eternity with each other. We're never getting out." Link sighed and wished the thought didn't depress him quite so much.

Saeru's eyes glowed in the darkness and she whispered one syllable: "No?"

"NO!"

"Yeah…about that…," began Saeru, her face a vision of beautiful mischief, "you don't really believe she'll do it, do you?"

"I don't see why she wouldn't."

"Dense, dense, dense idiot!" Sighed Saeru, mockingly, "I have to admit, your plan was quite clever and you risked so much to pull it off too but there's one tiny little thing you missed." She held up the Chameleon Stone and pointed it at him.

"It's useless to you unlocked." He snorted.

"That's what you'd think, given that its power's all sealed away with those horribly gaudy signet rings but the thing is - you seem to have forgotten Ganondorf took all the signet rings bar one from you."

"But only Zelda can unlock its power."

"Very true. Again, I am impressed by your knowledge but, Link, do try and remember that I am a goddess. I do have some power at my disposal! I have the signet rings – and I can certainly use their power, can't I?"

Link just stared at the goddess, a scowl marring his features.

"Exactly!" Smiled the goddess, irritatingly, "Each of these rings contains a facet of my power," she explained, pressing each signet ring into place on the Chameleon stone, "and with them and the Chameleon Stone I have enough power to blast through anything." She smirked at him before she closed her eyes and began to concentrate. Her hair and clothes began to sway behind her and the room began to tremble. Softly she began to mutter strange sounding words and each of the signet rings began to glow. She seemed to be drawing everything in the room, from Ganondorf, to the nightmare creatures to the darkness itself, to her, and the temperature began to drop.

Link felt himself being tugged towards her too and was about to begin an epic struggle against her will when he had a sudden idea. Instead of fighting against the strong pull, he began pushing towards it, drawing closer to Saeru quickly. Her voice got louder as he approached, and the dark words more horrible. His vision was getting blurred and his steps were marred by the trembling earth but he pressed on – focussing on the Chameleon Stone. Ten paces…five paces…two paces…one…

There was an almighty roar and all of a sudden the floor dropped away from them all. The nightmare creatures were blasted away into nothing and smoke and shimmers filled his vision. It was impossible to tell whether he was flying or falling. Link's body felt both light and heavy and his head began to spin. He could feel the Chameleon Stone pulsing where his fingers rested, thudding steadily like a heartbeat. Its silver-grey depths seemed to be streaming across everything, cutting through the nothingness that surrounded them all.

There was another roaring, tearing noise that seemed loud enough to make the whole world shudder and then a burning pure white light filled the room – it was too bright to gaze on, even with his eyes closed. He gritted his teeth and held on to the Chameleon Stone, even as it pulsated and shuddered more and more violently. Suddenly the light and noise was gone. Link, Ganondorf and Saeru dropped out of nothing and crashed onto a hard floor.

For a moment, Link blinked in surprise, unable to move or speak. In one stunned part of his mind, he registered that his hands were still gripped onto a pulsating rock but the thought that drifted almost idly through his mind was that they had just broken the seal between dark and light. Zelda really had sealed them all away. As his brain tried to organise his thoughts, he heard the sound of moaning coming from his right. He forced his eyes to open and blinked away the flashing lights and headache he could feel. Saeru was dragging herself to her feet drunkenly, her face bewildered and stunned. Ganondorf was out for the count some distance from her.

Saeru blinked slowly and cradled her head in her hands, shaking it slowly. Link realised it would be a good time to make his escape. Though he realised it, he was in no position to do so, his body just could not comply with his urgent calls to stand and run. Saeru moaned again and raised her head, looking around her feet. She had clearly noted the lack of Chameleon Stone on her person. Being a goddess, she was blessed with much faster recovery time than Link and her eyes, when they turned to him and widened slightly, showed little sign of bedazzlement.

"…you…" she snarled, staggering to her feet.

Link willed his body to work with more urgency but there was no response.

"How…dare…you!" whispered Saeru, in a most menacing tone. She raised her hand shakily and dark magic began to pool in her palm.

Link managed to worm his way slowly backwards but it was to no avail, his body was too stunned to move with any alacrity. Saeru swung her hand forward and the ball of magic slammed in to Link, making him scream out in pain as he was flung back against the wall. He landed in a heap and could feel and smell burning. He knew it was his own skin, he could feel the tingle of pain intensifying as his body realised what had happened. Compulsively, he gripped the Chameleon Stone tighter. Saeru balled her power in her hand again and glared at him.

"Drop it, Link." She ordered, coldly.

"No chance." He retorted, his voice sounding weak even in his own ears. He maintained his grip on the Chameleon Stone and attempted to stand. Another bolt of dark magic slammed into him again. His head smashed against the wall with a sickening thud and he slumped forward, completely unconscious, his body singed.

Saeru sneered at him and stumbled forward, "Such an idiot." She muttered as she hastened her steps towards the now discarded Chameleon Stone. Suddenly, a cry pierced the stillness of the room. Saeru gasped and glanced up. As she raised her head, there was an explosion and part of the stone roof (fortunately a part not directly above any of the inhabitants) dropped. Huge stones and slates poured in through the hole and in their wake there was another wild screech and a massive golden feathered falcon flew through the gap, screeching.

The falcon plummeted towards Saeru, and then suddenly altered course, almost knocking the goddess off her feet as it sped around the room towards Link. It hovered carefully above him as it grabbed him in one strong talon and carefully lifted the Chameleon Stone in the other.

Saeru, recovered from her surprise, screamed at it and flung a ball of dark energy in the bird's direction. The bird flapped its massive golden wings and the magic hit the wall behind them, making it explode. The bird cried once more and with another massive flap of its wings, sped back towards the hole in the ceiling, calling triumphantly.

Saeru watched as it folded its wings and shot out of the hole and screamed with frustration. She was so close to reaching her goal. SO CLOSE! She stamped her foot and glared at the hole. At her side Ganondorf was finally coming around. She glanced once at him and suddenly marched back to his side. She shook him awake and ignored his protests about headaches and confusion.

"Our power is escaping." She said, coldly. This instantly revived Ganondorf's evil-glands and he forced himself to stand. Saeru didn't bother explaining the situation to him. Instead, she closed her eyes and transformed her body into a particularly horrible looking dragon and grabbed the hapless King in one paw and shot off through the hole after that pesky falcon.

**

* * *

**

After eliciting no response from behind the closed throne room door, Nabooru took matters into her own hands and unlocked it using her master key. She was worried but not surprised to see the throne room was completely empty. There was no sign of Ganondorf's guards or Ganondorf himself but there was a yellow blob on his throne. Stepping forward to take a closer look, she realised it was one of his many rubber ducks. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. Behind her Impa snorted.

"Baby's bath time, huh?" she sniggered.

Nabooru ignored the comment and cast her eyes around the room once again. Nothing had changed so why did she have the weirdest feeling that she was being watched?

"DON'T TOUCH ME!"

The peace was suddenly shattered by those words, screamed in a wheezy, high-pitched voice from behind her. Nabooru jumped and swung around only to see Rauru hastily dropping the pretty yellow duck back on the throne. It landed on its side.

"What the hell, Rauru!" exclaimed Impa, covering her heart with a hand.

"S-sorry!"

"Oh my goddess…" gasped Nabooru. To her amazement, the unblinking rubber duck had just righted himself and was sat with perfect blankness on the soft velvet of the throne watching the three intruders.

"What is it?" Asked Impa.

"I am a rubber duck of doom." Answered the duck, although the question was not necessarily directed at him.

"A rubber duck of…oh Goddess…" snorted Impa, trying not to laugh.

"Yes – a rubber duck of doom, and not just any rubber duck I am the only rubber duck of doom and I am sitting on this softly floory thingy…"

"That's a throne." Said Nabooru, grinning.

"A Throne? You mean like Gannykins sits on – does that make me King Rubber Duck of Doom. Squeak! King Kwaksalot sounds….QUACKING GREAT!" the duck's voice emphasised his excitement, which was a good thing because his body language did not hint at anything but a serious case of paralysis.

"Yes, you are now a king."

"And if you are standing before me that makes you my subjects."

"I can't believe I'm having this conversation," sniggered Nabooru. She approached the throne and knelt mockingly. "I am yours to command."

"Really! That's a good thing." Replied Kwaksalot, "I've got a lot of ordering about to do today! I am guarding the throne for Zelda on behalf of Link because she has gone to sqwave him from something horrible but now that you are here you can do that and I can go and play duck in yellow armour and be my hero's hero."

"Er…what…?" Stammered Nabooru.

Kwaksalot squeaked as if chuckling and suddenly his inanimate body gained a life of its own and he began to grow. His wings unglued from his sides and his painted on legs stretched, he hopped down from the throne and blinked. His large black eyes flashed brightly and then slowly began to dim into a nasty crimson colour. He grinned at Nabooru, "Link sqwaved me so I must return the favour."

"You know I thought the Rubber Ducks of Doom were just a bad joke." Sighed Nabooru. "You know one of those things Ganondorf said after he'd eaten one too many magic mushrooms he got from that bloke in town Mario, or something!"

"Well you thought wrong." Stated Kwaksalot, testing his new found legs by stalking around the room without bending his knees, he seemed very pleased with himself. Impa glanced once at Rauru and turned away, biting her lip. She was determined not to giggle. Kwaksalot took a couple more stately paces and halted in front of Nabooru. Given that he was now towering above her, she was a little disturbed. Being faced with a life-sized rubber duck that could talk and had freaky red eyes was the stuff of some people's nightmares. "Anyways, my new slaves, it is time to follow me. We are going to save Linky."

"…are…are we?" Asked Impa, choking back another giggle. She gazed up at the rubber duck and her lips twitched again, "Tell you what, King Kwaksalot, us older folk will just slow you down. Why don't just you and Nabooru go, we'll forego the treat."

Kwaksalot studied her face for a long moment, his red eyes glistening eerily. "I remember you don't like my master, do you?" He suddenly remarked. "No, you won't help him. Come, loyal subject Nabooru. You may come with me."

"Gee thanks." Muttered Nabooru.

**

* * *

**

The golden falcon cried and soared to the left, narrowly avoiding the blast of flame from behind, sunlight glinted off her wings. Glancing behind she saw the huge black dragon spin as it altered direction. Clasped securely in its right claw, the falcon could see Ganondorf looking an alarming shade of green, his eyes wide open and his mouth set into an unhappy line. The falcon smiled to herself and with a flap of her wings, she adjusted course again, soaring higher and higher.

The dragon kept up with her up, both creatures climbing higher and higher until they were smothered by clouds. As the temperature dropped and water seeped onto his clothes and skin, Link woke up.

He was a little alarmed to nothing but white surrounding him and not for the first time in his life he guessed that he had died and was currently traversing the passage to the sacred realm, unless he was going to be one of the unluckier mortals to be condemned to the naughty twilight realm. Thinking about it, Link presumed that was where he was going but when suddenly the white around him vanished and the sun shone into his eyes, both blinding and beautiful, he thought that being so nice to Zelda might have bought him a ticket to the decent afterlife. It was just as he had this thought that he realised that he was suddenly plummeting down. The white surrounded him again for a second and then it was gone and then there was Hyrule spread before him. He would have appreciated the majesty of the country and marvelled at the view had it not been flying towards him at two-hundred miles an hour.

A strange noise filled his ear – it sounded kind of birdlike and then there was a flash of orange to his left. 'Yep, I'm off to the Twilight Realm' he sighed, and hoped that it would be fun and he'd like their ruler. Of course Link's plans sort of shot through his mind at a rapid pace but they went something along the lines of how he would meet the beautiful ruler of Twilight (he reckoned she'd be a hot damsel about his own age with a dark personality), woo her and was just planning on what to name their eighth child, when he snapped back to reality and realised the cry he heard wasn't just birdlike. It was a bird.

He looked up and saw the massive body of a gold-feathered beast and saw powerful talons gripping him tightly but not so tightly that it hurt. He shrugged when he realised he was going to end his days as bird food but guessed there were worse ways to go. He decided that the view of Hyrule looking so pretty would be a good last thought so he focussed on that. Down, down, down they plummeted and then suddenly, the falcon spread her wings and they soared off again.

"Woo…" sighed Link, watching the world idly as it tilted almost vertically before his vision. The bird spun around and blasted back towards the sky and then doubled back. Link wasn't too surprised to suddenly start to feel sick. As the bird righted herself again, Link saw a large black shape lunge into his vision range on the right. Before he could wonder what it was, there was another blast of fire and the bird screeched again, darting to the left. Link felt the heat of the flame as it passed by his foot and grimaced.

They were flying lower and lower and fire was blasting all around them. Link looked up and saw they were heading back towards the castle. In fact they were heading right towards one of the towers. 'Not good' he thought, and pictured his new death as being splatted against a tower. He started imagining how he would look completely flattened, spread-eagled on the white stone, his body sliding down to the floor, leaving a vile trail of blood and guts after him. He found this image amusing.

The falcon sped up again, aiming for the tower. Link began debating on which was more entertaining - being splatted against the cool grass of Hyrule field or squished against a shiny white tower for the world to see. He'd just decided on the field as preferable, when the falcon dodged left, narrowly missing the tower.

Judging by the crash following them, Link guessed the black thing had not quite got the falcon's manoeuvrability. He would have cheered had he not been quite sure that the golden falcon only wanted to protect him from the black thing so she could eat him. He realised she was coming in to land and realised the end was nigh.

At least she was taking him in gently, though Link thought if he had been a falcon, it would have been easier to splat his meal over the floor rather than have the botheration of picking it to pieces later, but who was he to argue the case? When she was about two feet off the floor, Link felt her talons suddenly release him. The propulsion of her flight sent him tumbling forward. He noticed the Chameleon Stone rolling along side him and watched it with interest. The falcon's shadow passed over his head and then vanished. As he finally stopped rolling and groggily pulled himself to his feet, he looked up and saw the falcon was tumbling along the ground.

As she tumbled, her gold feathers flew from her body (he noticed some of them were smouldering) and she seemed to shrink. After a couple more rolls, he realised it was not a falcon but a girl. She blinked as she righted herself and dragged herself to seated position, panting slightly and glanced at him.

"Z-Zelda!?" He stammered, stumbling towards her.

She smiled and ran forward right past his open arms. He was about to object when he realised she was running to get the Chameleon Stone before…

He looked up again and saw the black blob rushing towards them. Only he realised this time it was a rather nasty looking scary black dragon that appeared to be carrying a green version of Ganondorf. He allowed himself one moment to be completely alarmed, shocked and dismayed and then sprinted after Zelda. She grabbed the heart-shaped stone and gazed up in defiance at the dragon. The dragon roared, shaking the ground so much that a few of the nearby trees lost branches and swiped at her.

Just as the tail was about to hit her, Link pounced on Zelda and knocked her off her feet. The tail soared over their heads. Zelda looked at her finger and smiled to herself. Suddenly her body began to shake violently. Link rolled to one side and watched in horror as Zelda's body moved of its own accord so that she was kneeling on all fours. A marble light of gold and silver swirled about her body for a moment and then her limbs stretched to twice their normal size. Her hands and feet shrunk back on themselves and formed into diamond hooves. Her back and neck grew longer and longer and her clothes and skin melded into a glistening golden coat. Finally her face contorted and stretched and in between her eyes a long horn began to grow.

"Er…" began Link, not entirely sure of what to make of the Zeldacorn before him.

"Get on, idiot." She said, quite clearly, although her voice had become more sugary and stupid somehow.

"Could you…er…not be a unicorn, please?" He whispered.

There was a roar from behind them. The dragon had swung around and was charging towards them.

"Nope. Get on." Ordered Zelda,. Link sighed and dragged himself onto her smooth back. Zelda pawed the ground for effect and Link heard her chuckling something about him being a dead weight.

"Where's the Stone?" He began to ask, but as she chose that moment to jump into a gallop, he thought better of talking and just concentrated on trying to stay on board. He gripped her flaxen mane tightly and tried not to think of death by bad horse-riding.

"Horn." Answered Zelda, snorting at him.

"Hence the unicorn." He muttered.

Zelda swerved to avoid the dragon's claws and galloped towards the castle. "Nope…" she answered, as she jumped over a fence. A blast of fire to her left caused her to jump to the right. Link almost fell off. "…who's best at fighting dragons?" she asked, as she effortlessly doubled back on herself and galloped off in the opposite direction.

"Um…"

"A knight in shining armour? Yes?" Zelda neatly hopped over another wall and landed in a shallow stream. She turned and began to gallop downstream. Sunlight glinted off the water and was magnified and reflected by her golden coat. Link suddenly realised her strategy. From above it would be almost impossible to aim properly at the fast moving target. "Dragons see in monochrome," she explained, panting slightly, "All Saeru will see is a sparkling white blob. She'll find it difficult to hit me this way."

"Fine, but still – why a unicorn?" Asked Link, he was regrettably aware of how wet his pants were and was trying not to think of the amount of water that had got into his boots. After all, this was all so they could escape.

"Horn is a substitute spear which you don't have. Can use telepat..thy.." Gasped Zelda, "Also incredible speed and dexterity but not much…sta-stamina…" her steps floundered and for a horrible moment Link saw her golden coat go strangely translucent. Her breathing was laboured and he could feel their pace slowing.

The dragon soared lazily above them, Saeru had realised that she could not hit Zelda in the water and was just biding her time until she inevitably lost her form. Link looked around them and saw a knot of trees just beyond the east riverbank. "Zel, stop!" he shouted and tapped her neck to indicate the direction she should head.

"NO! I must k-keep goi…ng…" she stammered, her body lost its colour again and Link slapped her neck hard and tugged her mane. "DO IT!" She made a show of tossing her head around and half-bucking but she realised he was right and drawing the last of her strength she jumped over the river bank and dashed towards the copse of trees. As she ran, Saeru roared and shot a massive fireball towards her. It struck Zelda on the rump and Link heard her screech with pain. The blow sent her and tumbling forward, and as she rolled her unicorn body vanished, leaving her back in her usual form, clutching the Chameleon Stone to her breast, a good few metres away from the protection of the trees.

Link, who had had chance to catch his breath during the ride, had managed to land on his feet and dashed to her side, drawing his sword, he stood over her prone body and glared at Saeru. She threw her head back and smoke pooled from her mouth as she hovered above him.

"Give us the Chameleon Stone and you can live." Called a strange-sounding voice. Link frowned and looked around. "Up here, moron." Came the same voice. Link looked up and saw it was Ganondorf talking; only he really didn't sound very good at all. His skin was still that very odd shade of green and it clashed horribly with his bright orange hair. He was trying to sound menacing but to be fair, when one is feeling so dreadfully ill, it is hard to put your heart into being an evil megalomaniac.

"Um…no…" retorted Link. "You can fight me for it but I'm not just giving away, especially after all Zelda's efforts to get it from you."

Ganondorf attempted an evil laugh but ended up almost retching. Saeru shook him violently, as if he was a toy that had ceased to work and lowered her snakelike head so she could properly glare at him.

"I wanna go home…" Moaned Ganondorf, pitifully. A blast of smoke poured from Saeru's nostrils and she shook him again.

"That's not he…lpin…g…bleaghhhhhhhhh…" Ganondorf gave into nature and emptied the contents of possibly his entire digestive system onto Saeru's paws. It narrowly avoided hitting Link but he backed away just in case, cringing. Saeru gazed at her paw in a confused manner and suddenly realised what had happened. The smoke pouring from her mouth suddenly stopped and compulsively her claws unclasped allowing Ganondorf to plummet the ten feet or so to the floor. She floated rather quickly down after him and transformed back into her goddess form.

Green coloured stomach contents covered her arm. Her eyes widened and she blinked in horror, "Gross!" she stammered and then dashed off the river to wash it off. In her disgust she had apparently forgotten Link and Zelda.

With their two enemies preoccupied for the moment, Link took the opportunity to gaze down at Zelda. She was slowly coming around and appeared to be confused to be gazing up at Link's legs. She felt the Chameleon Stone pulsating gently in her grasp and she sat up again. Carefully she rested the stone on her knees and drew the final signet ring from her hand. With delicate motion, she slotted the final ring into place. As it touched the stone fingers, all the signet rings seemed to sink into the stone. One by one they turned ninety degrees. As the final signet ring clicked into place, the stone fingers spread and the hands repositioned so that they were palm up. The heart shaped Chameleon Stone hovered a little above this, channels of multicoloured light pouring from each of the signet ring's into the grey heart of the stone, filling it with iridescent light. As the last of the light faded, the Chameleon Stone shone with a light of its own – a beautiful, gentle light that glistened with more majesty than a diamond.

"Th-this is…" stammered Zelda, gazing in wonder at the heart as it beat gently, sparkles and shimmers lighting the air all around it.

"Beautiful." Link finished the sentence for her and smiled slightly. "It is the heart of a goddess…"

"Yeah and it's my heart so you can just give it me back right now." Came Saeru's voice. She was marching over to them, hands on hips, looking anything but happy.

"I'm not giving this back after what you've done!" Snapped Zelda, rising to her feet. "No, I intend to use it as it should have been used."

"Really? And how's that?"

"It grants wishes, doesn't it? Well therefore I wish for peace – peace for all of us." Smiled Zelda. "And for everyone to be happy.

"That's it?" Stammered Saeru, "You've got an almighty power at your disposal and you wish for world peace? And no doubt you want some fluffy bunnies to run around Hyrule field and fairies and pixies dancing through the forests and every day you'll want everybody to go into the sunshine, holding hands singing and clapping their hands. And people won't walk any more, no they'll skip through fields, carrying flowers, singing tra-la-la-laaaa." The goddess scratched her head and glanced at Ganondorf. "What about him?"

"Well, I want everyone to be happy too." Added Zelda, gazing at him uneasily. "I suppose he could go back to the desert and live in peace there with Nabooru and the rest of his harem – I mean – guards. Oh and I want Amber to be alive again and I want a white horse with silver hooves and a long mane and tail called Sparkly Dennis."

Saeru raised an eyebrow and smirked, "You really want world peace?"

Zelda nodded and clasped her hands around the Chameleon Stone smiling gently.

"Very well, you've got it, Princess." Saeru waved her hand and a trail of glitter filled the air which was carried away by the breeze. Zelda sighed in sheer delight. Was it her or did the air feel that much cleaner and smell much sweeter now that she had got world peace and she was sure somewhere in the background she could hear the slightly cheesy music playing. Saeru was still smirking as she bowed to the pair of Hylians and turned to Ganondorf. "Come, Ganny. I feel this is where you and I skip into the sunset, never to be seen again."

"Eh?"

"We're the baddies, remember. Let's go." She grabbed Ganondorf by the collar and dragged him to his feet. "Tatty bye, Hero's of Hyrule!" She sang as she waved goodbye to the stunned pair. True to her word, she forced Ganondorf to skip off with her into the distance, holding his hand. A white bunny skipped across the trail behind them. Zelda watched this in bemusement and then turned to Link. A huge grin spread across her face, matched only by the smile on his face. She extended her hands to him, dropping the Chameleon Stone to the floor. "We did it!" She sighed, shaking her head in disbelief. "I can't believe it! We did it!"

Link couldn't help but look around uneasily. "Er…Zelda…you know…"

"What's the matter, you worrywart? We've done it! It's over, Link." She sighed and grinned again, "It's finally over!"

:)

-----Fin----

* * *

_[Yeah right!]_

Sorry again for taking forever to update this story. Your thoughts would be appreciated! Final chapter(s) coming up….


	37. Beautiful Nightmare

I'm so sorry I've not updated in ages, I've little excuse other than being rather busy. Thank you to: **QuinKiloq1055, Fallen Dragonfly, Link's Ocarina Babe and La Generala** for reviewing. You might know by now the last chapter wasn't really the end. Even I couldn't finish as story that badly, although I do try! Anyway, the last three chapters are finished (well two chapters and an epilogue) and just because I'm nice like that, (and I'm very excited to have finished this finally!) I'm posting them all this week. So here goes, onwards to the end, my pretties... :)

* * *

Chapter Thirty Seven – Beautiful Nightmare

"It's finally over."

Link couldn't help but think those words were going to be remembered for all time for all the wrong reasons. He looked around again and frowned. Another snow white bunny bounced in to view and looked inquiringly at him. A brightly coloured butterfly danced in its wake.

"Aw, cute!" Exclaimed Zelda, kneeling and beckoning the timid creature over. Its little pink nose sniffed the air and its cute long ears twitched back and forth. Its butterfly companion danced hither and thither in the soft breeze. Tentatively, the rabbit hopped towards Zelda. She smiled and cooed at the creature, encouraging it ever on. The butterfly, the bolder of the two, flitted its way over more confidently and landed on Zelda's outstretched fingers. She smiled delightedly and whispered to Link to 'Look! LOOK!"

In Link's humble opinion, all butterflies and rabbits were inherently evil. The only creatures worthy of becoming pets were things like Skultulas and Dodongos and possibly even Ghoma Larvae. He liked things that were the antithesis of cute and fluffy, like the snake he could see slithering through the long grass near the river or the scorpion on the rocks basking in the sun. Those things he could quite happily deal with.

"So…um…Zel, what are you going to do with the Chameleon Stone?" He asked, trying to keep his voice quiet and low so that he didn't inadvertently scare Zelda's new pets away and thus incur her wrath.

"I don't know." She answered, "I've not really thought about it."

"I see. And…um…what about us?"

"What do you mean: what about us?"

"Well, you know – I'm not actually Hylian by birth and I'm not really sure if I'll be allowed to stay here and was wondering if you…"

"Yes?"

"If you'd…um…consider…" Link gulped and wondered why his confidence had suddenly deserted him. 'How hard can it be asking a girl to marry you anyway?' he thought angrily.

"Aw, Link, LOOK!" interrupted Zelda, distracted again by the little white rabbit who had now been joined by a fluffy yellow chick and a fawn. Link started to feel sick. He was just beginning to question where the hell all these creatures were coming from given that most of them were not native to Hyrule when there was the thud of hooves and from the nearby trees a beautiful horse with a sparkling white coat appeared. Around its neck was a delicate bronze plaque declaring his name to be Dennis.

"Sparkly Dennis?" Zelda had tears in her eyes as she jumped to her feet (making all the other creatures dash for cover back in the copse of trees) and ran to the horse, throwing her arms around its glossy neck. Link looked on, bemused, as the horse seemed to smile.

"Oo- I wanna go for a ride!" exclaimed Zelda, hopping about in excitement as if she was a hyperactive five-year old.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Said Link, cautiously.

"Come on, what could possibly go wrong?" chided Zelda, gently as she hugged Sparkly Dennis again, "All my wishes have come true, the world is at peace! Nothing bad will happen." She grinned at Link and kissed the horse's nose and then without further ado, jumped on to his back.

"Zelda, wait…don't…ugh…" said Link as he watched her kick Dennis and gallop off, whooping with excitement. He pulled at his hair in frustration and after sighing he slumped against a nearby tree and sank into a seated position. In the intervening ten minutes or so when Zelda still didn't return, he puzzled over the strange turn of events. Something didn't feel right. It wasn't just because he himself was averse to the rather cheesy peace, rather, he could feel something very odd and mildly threatening in the air and he didn't trust it. He hoped Zelda and her sparkly horse would return soon, but there was no sign of her. He sighed again, bowed his head and closed his eyes. As he did another rabbit came into view. This one was black and had rather strange eyes. It hopped cautiously towards his feet. Link was too preoccupied with his suspicions to notice as the rabbit inched closer and closer to where Zelda had dropped the Chameleon Stone. It sniffed the glittering stone cautiously and looked up at Link. His eyes were open now but he was staring at the sky, completely oblivious to the presence of one, insignificant and rather strange little bunny.

The rabbit almost forgot not to chuckle maniacally as its soft little paws touched the Chameleon Stone. Suddenly, there was a 'poof' noise and the world filled with smoke. Drawn from his reverie, Link was just in time to see the cute little rabbit transform into a very malevolent looking Ganondorf who had the glittering Chameleon Stone in his hands. He laughed his best 'bad-guy-mwhahahahah-laugh and said, "Yoink!"

"What the-," Started Link, but he had vanished, leaving him only the Gerudo's voice on the wind shouting: "Sucker!"

"WAIT, GANONDORF! BLAST!" He yelled after her. "Hell and Damnation, I'm going to **kill** Zelda for this!"

* * *

Nabooru was too busy glaring at the shiny yellow neck of Sir Kwaksalot to notice the very odd change that had happened to the world over the last few minutes. She was far too angry with the rubber monstrosity to notice that the sun had darkened and the birds had stopped singing, or that various nefarious-looking woodland creatures were popping up here there and everywhere. She and Sir K. were apparently on a mission and until the mission was fulfilled he was pretending not to understand her.

There is nothing quite as annoying as knowing somebody (or in Sir K.'s case – something) understood you perfectly well yet insisted that it no longer spoke a word of its mother tongue. She had resorted to muttering various dark and foul Gerudo curses under her breath. The giant rubber duck feigned ignorance and ran along on its quest perfectly happily, his oddly shaped body making curious squeaking noises every time one of his red feet hit the floor.

She had ended up riding on his back for the sake of ease but had regretted her acceptance of his offer almost instantly when she realised just how irritating he could be. At least if she had opted to run, she could have accidentally lost sight of him and ran the other way. Now she was well and truly stuck with him. She did contemplate jumping from his back in a bid for freedom (so desperate for escape was she) but given the rate they were travelling, which was actually surprisingly fast, she didn't rate her chances of surviving such a fall without developing various disfiguring scars on her otherwise lovely body, so she decided to stick it out. They were heading south of the castle, following the trial of the thin river that ran from under the castle down to the great lake. It hadn't been that long ago since the black dragon had passed overhead, and Nabooru was convinced the said black dragon had been chasing a unicorn but because Sir K. had decided he could no longer comprehend Hylian, she had been left to talk this over with herself.

It was not too long after the dragon had swooped off into the distance and vanished out of sight that all the cutesy woodland creatures began to appear. Nabooru had not really taken much note of this, she was far too concerned with making the Rubber Duck of Doom understand just how much she hated him right now. Nor had she noticed when a beautifully sparkly white horse had pranced past them with a grinning Zelda perched on its back. Nor had she noticed when the said white horse and its rider suddenly vanished.

She did, however, notice when Link suddenly appeared from the copse of trees ahead of them. It was probably because he was sprinting at them, sword drawn, yelling at the top of his voice.

"YAY, it's Linkie!" announced the rubber duck, conveniently forgetting that he had forgotten how to speak Hylian. He stopped abruptly, sending the hapless Nabooru on her first ever flying lesson. A few beautifully nasty verbs tumbled from her lips as she picked herself up.

"Good Goddess, what have they done to you, Zelda?" came Link's voice, sounding a little distraught.

"Not that I know why you'd even think it was, but this is not Zelda." Announced Nabooru, she dusted down her clothes and smiled quite pleasantly at him. "This, apparently, is that rubber duck you saved."

"SCQUAVED." Corrected the said rubber duck, primly.

"Oh." Link, for once in his life, was nonplussed. Then again, he'd never before met a hero-worshiping rubber duck that had grown to epic proportions and had scary-evil red eyes. "Wow. You are Sir Kwaksalot?"

"Yep."

"And…er…why are you here again?"

"I've come to be a hero to my hero."

"O…kay…" Link desperately tried to catch Nabooru's eyes in a plea for help but she was absorbed in studying her fingernails. "Right…well…" he scratched his head and tried to think of something – _anything_ – that could make the situation less ridiculous. "Sir K., uh – you don't mind if I call you that do you? Good, well…um…listen – I am really very flattered that you came to help me, an' all but I've really, really got to hurry! I think Zelda's been kidnapped by Saeru and-,"

"Actually it was a Sparkle-dorf." Interrupted Sir K.

"A Sparkle…what?"

"Sparkle-dorf. That pretty horsey thing that ran past was the singy-bath-man in disguise. Hey, do you know any good bath-time songs, Link? I used to like the one that goes 'Rubber Ducks, so yellow and sweet, bobbing 'round my head and feet, so prettttttttty and yellow, so subbbbbbbblime, so mellow. Sit on my hand and give me a kiiiiiiiiiiiiiss… I do hope no-one sees me like thiiiiiiiiiis.'" Sir K.'s little rendition of one of Ganondorf's more "inspired" bath-time songs left both humans wincing as the last high note threatened to shred their ear drums. Sir K. looked at Link expectantly.

"I'm really sorry but I have got to save Zelda."

"Not even one little song for me? The lonely, heroic duck who has come to scquave you?" If the duck's beak had not been quite so rigid, it would have quivered at this moment and if they could, the red eyes would have filled with tears.

"I – I – um more of a shower kinda guy… I prefer not to take baths, sorry."

"WHAT? You…YOU…" Sir Kwaksalot's eyes began to throb with colour and Link, sensibly, started to back away.

"I'm joking" stammered Link, "I just love baths really, I meant I don't really sing in the bath...er…much…so, eh…sorry."

"You don't sing?"

"Not really. I can play a reedy-notey-tuney-makey-thing though," he explained hastily, "Listen please, Sir K., I've really got to save – uh, _scquave_ – Zelda, if I don't really bad things will happen. I have to get to the castle. If you honestly have come to play at being a hero to a hero in distress then please take me to the castle. If you do, I promise I will take as many baths with you as you like and I will sing (even though you may well regret that offer) but please, I beg of you, help me now."

Sir Kwaksalot considered this desperate plea for, what seemed to Link, an incredibly long time. Link turned to Nabooru and grimaced at her.

"I wouldn't worry too much - you'll get there in time. I'm quite certain that Saeru will want to gloat over your defeat before bringing the proverbial axe down on you." Remarked the Gerudo woman, calmly, "I mean that's what all baddies do, isn't it? I don't know what is being planned at the castle, but I'm quite certain part of it involved a pact between Ganondorf and Saeru that allowed him to use some of her power for a limited amount of time, and I'm quite certain that my king hasn't got nearly enough imagination to use it properly."

"What do you mean?"

"Remember when we went head-to-head with you and Zelda to get the last of the Signet Rings? Well when we were doing that, Ganondorf told me that he'd seen the goddess Saeru in his Seeing Stone and they'd made a bargain to power-share, or something. Basically he had to lure you and Zelda into a trap and get all the Signet Rings and in return, he could use the Chameleon Stone in any way he desired for a short period before returning it to Saeru for eternity."

"But Zelda has already made a wish for peace surely any further wish should be confined to operate within those parameters."

"Maybe, I don't know. Having limited knowledge of the Chameleon Stone I couldn't tell you for sure but what I gathered from Ganondorf is that it does have the power to grant wishes but only one at a time."

"So each wish would supersede the last?" Link frowned and tried to remember exactly what Zelda had wished for. She'd asked for world peace, that had come pretty early on in the list of her demands (he meant wishes), and then what? "She said something about the Gerudo's returning to the desert, then something about Amber being alive and then…oh dung."

"What?"

"Sparkly Dennis – her last wish was for a sparkly white horse with a long mane and tail called Dennis. I really don't know where the heck that one came from, but that was the last thing she wished for."

"And is that was what she got?"

"When I catch up with her I am going to wring her neck." Muttered Link, darkly, "Oi, Sir K., have you decided if you're going to take me to the castle or not?"

Sir K., pulled rudely from his reverie, where he was singing bath-time songs to himself, rather than actually contemplating whether or not to accept the terms of Link's bargain, jumped slightly. "Oh…uh…sure, Linkie." He said.

"Great, well there's no time like the present, eh? Are you coming, Nabs?"

* * *

And I wish for a legion of Poes, and a new carpet for my throne room. I want my hair to grow back over that teeny-tiny bald spot that I've noticed – more luscious than before, if you will. Oh, and I want my guards to wear something a little less – skimpy. Let's have 'em looking like soldiers, eh? I think, yeah, the castle's walls should be black marble, not white. I want to have brown skin, not this stupid greeny colour. I wish that I could fly like a sparrow when I wanted. And I want…eh, why are you glaring at me?"

Saeru was indeed glaring at the Gerudo king; her golden eyes were so narrowed that they appeared to be two lines of light on her otherwise dark face. She moistened her lips and crossed her legs. She was seated back on her black satin throne in the hidden part of the castle. Ganondorf sat in front of her, holding her heart in his hands, and she was rapidly loosing patience.

"I have told you many, many times the rules of this particular game, King Ganondorf," she said with deceptive sweetness, "You have one hour to use my power as you see fit, and I do not begrudge that, but if you insist on making wish after wish after wish, the stone will lose the will to exist and will no longer work. In other words, Idiot, you need to decide on one thing and one thing alone that you would like and I will grant that request. I am not a Hylian Goddess of creation, I do not have the power to give you everything you could possibly want, only the one thing that you need."

"Oh." Ganondorf took these words to heart and admitted to feeling a little cheated. What was the point of having something that could grant every wish you ever had if it could only cope with one wish at a time? "I don't really know what I want." He decided, eventually. "I mean, I've not really had the time to think this through and it's quite a momentous decision."

"You have ten minutes remaining." Said Saeru, calmly, "and then I'm taking my power back. If you have not made your mind up by then, then it is your loss."

"But ten minutes is…oh alright, I'll think of something."

The goddess rolled her eyes and rested her chin on her hands. She wondered how such a powerful, beautiful creature as she always got lumped with the idiots. The only man she'd ever actually had a decent bond with, who wasn't a complete tool, was Lefestra and he'd abandoned her for some half-bred Gerudo princess and look where that had got them both! 'At least he had been dependable', thought Saeru, glumly. That reliability had been passed down to his descendants too, which was also a good thing. Saeru was pretty certain that at any moment, Link would come bursting through the doors to save his precious Zelda and then they could have some fun. She didn't have a grudge against Link himself, but she had harbouring a grudge against his ancestor for over a thousand years and she was going to have her revenge.

She had planned out the upcoming battle, for she didn't doubt that the little Calatian would fight, to minute detail. All she had to do was bide her time and wait, like a spider sitting on a web, waiting for a hapless fly to land. She didn't like that analogy but couldn't think of a better one at that moment. She looked up and saw Zelda, suspended in midair trapped in a pink diamond and shrugged. The diamond had been Ganondorf's idea and she thought it was really very predictable, but it kept the Hylian out of mischief. She was like a fisherman, she decided – she had her bait at the end of a line, was in the perfect position and now all she had to do was wait for the Hylian Loach – no, she mean Calatian Loach – to bite and then she could play with them both on her line – string…oh blast, she hated analogies and similes.

Either way, this afternoon was going to be fun.

* * *

Contrary to her expectations, Ganondorf came up with quite a good wish for such an idiotic man – he wished for the power to change the laws of nature. This was nine minutes into the ten minute deadline. Saeru happily granted his request, giving him access to some rather fantastical magic power, and he spent the remaining minute of his god-ship conjuring pieces of buttered toast and dropping them on to the floor in an attempt to disprove the fact that toast always lands butter side down. Even his phenomenal magic powers couldn't alter this particular fate.

He was just pondering the merits of introducing a cat to the equation (given that cats always land on their feet – thus counter-balancing the toast theory) when Saeru announced that his ten minutes were up and that it was time to hand back her power.

Exactly twelve point two five three seconds after this announcement, Link and Nabooru burst through the door. Link had told Sir Kwaksalot about his long-lost 'brother' Tingle and had urged him to run to the Lost Woods announcing himself to be a bath-fairy. Sir Kwaksalot had agreed to the plan only after forcing Link to sing one song, which he did so badly that Sir K. lost all his admiration for his hero in one fell swoop, he had trundled off to the forest, never to be seen again (for which Link was profusely thankful).

"Saeru, what have you done with Zelda?" Demanded Link, at exactly the same time as Nabooru exclaimed, "My Lord, why are you buttering that cat?"

"There's a good reason." Muttered Ganondorf, in his best sullen-evil-bad-guy tone.

"I'm sure there is, Sugar. Have you been taking the happy pills again?" Nabooru smirked at his glare and marched over, hips sashaying all the way. "We're leaving, by the way."

"We are? I mean – WHAT? No, I will not have my life dictated to by a bunch of women…!"

"Ganondorf…"

"W-what?"

"Remember who you are speaking to." Nabooru raised one eyebrow at him and he blushed and muttered an apology. She took his arm and patted it lovingly, "There-there, all's forgiven, okay." She leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, making sure as she moved that he had a good eyeful of her rather low cut top. Ganondorf gulped and dragged his eyes back to her. She explained, "We're being kicked out by a Hylian Mob don't cha know!"

"K-Kicked out?"

Nabooru trailed her fingers lightly up his arms and gazed innocently up at him. "Uh-huh, and we've gotta leave right now otherwise they'll be locking you in the dungeon to rot. The Judges have risen up against you and our army has been defeated."

"Oh. Well that's a bummer."

"Tell me about it! So anyways, we should be going now, 'kay."

"But what about my power?"

"Nah, you don't need that. You've got an entire army of women that'll do anything you wish for you. And believe me, Dearest, we Gerudo are better than anything alive at getting what we want." Nabooru rubbed her head against his shoulder and smiled, "maybe next time you should go for something a little less lame than the Chameleon Stone, Sugar. It can only grant one wish at a time, pathetic really." She ignored Saeru's death glare from across the room and gazed up at her King.

"I suppose…yeah, okay next time we're going for the Triforce."

"An excellent choice, but I think we'll leave that for now, Ganny. Tell you what, let's go back home and think about it for a while. When we get back to the desert I'll set up your old harem for you if you'd like, or we could have it with just you and me for a bit - some 'Alone time'. Would you like that?" Ganondorf grinned and nodded. "Well, your wish is my command, my King." Nabooru winked at him and turned to Link. "So, I guess this is goodbye, eh? It's been nice meeting you again, Link. You'll have to come visit me in the desert sometime, promise?"

Link nodded dumbly and glanced at Saeru. The goddess was as bewildered by this masterful display of woman-getting-her-own-way-by-seduction as he was. Ganondorf had turned from megalomaniac to jelly in the space of a minute. Link almost felt sorry for him. Nabooru was hanging on to her King's arm, smiling up at him. Her left hand slid down his arm as she rested her head on his shoulder and then, with a motion too quick to follow, she yanked the Chameleon Stone from his grasp and threw it to Link.

He caught it on reflex and he didn't realise at first what she had done.

"You'll be needing that, my friend!" shouted Nabooru, as she pulled a smoke bomb from her waistband. "Good bye and good luck!"

Ganondorf had barely time to squeak his protest before they both vanished into the air. "O…kay…" sighed Link, peering down at the Chameleon Stone. This day had gone from bad to weird and he was starting to get a little 'crazied' out. There was, after all, only so much his mind could take in.

"Woohoo, so you got my heart." Saeru's voice drifted across to him. She sounded pretty annoyed. To be fair to her, her grand plans of revenge had not included having her heart stolen from her at the last moment by yet another Gerudo woman. She was beginning to dislike the nation of Desert Dwellers. She wondered if she could somehow inflict a plague of ants on them when she got her power back. There was another person to add to her 'must exact revenge upon in some vile and disgusting manner' list.

"Eh? Oh, so I have." Link met the Goddess's eyes a little apologetically and took a firmer grip on the Chameleon Stone. It sparkled magnificently in his hand, and on some deep level, he could feel it interacting with his soul. Its warmth seemed to seep into his blood and it trembled and throbbed in his hand as if it had a mind of its own. As his eyes met Saeru's he felt it jerk sharply and the throbbing, beating quickened. Her eyes narrowed at him, and the Stone pulsed steadily.

"Well, you have it – what are you going to do now, Son of Lefestra?"

"I actually have a name, you know." He smirked. "I don't really know what I'll do now. I was expecting a fight – you know, after all that's happened, I doubt very much that our story will end like this. Why don't you tell me what you want me to do?"

"You know very well what I want you to do."

The Chameleon Stone quivered. Still gazing at her, Link raised an eyebrow quizzically. His smirk deepened into a grin.

Saeru gasped, "I don't mean anything like that, you-you…freak. How dare you even imagine that I would desire you - I mean - I would want you to...GRRR! I am a goddess and I am extremely angry. I would be careful about what you insinuate, boy."

"I'm not the one insinuating anything." He smiled, resting his other hand over the Chameleon Stone so that it lay cupped in his hands. "Let's rephrase the question, shall we: what do you want me to do with the Chameleon Stone?"

"What do you think, Fool?"

"There's no need to get all crabby. I asked you a perfectly polite question, and given the circumstances, I reckon it was a pretty good deal from your standpoint. I could easily steal your power right now, you know."

"And dare I ask, why are you being so considerate all of a sudden?"

"Because, well two reasons: firstly, you've got Zelda and I'm quite certain you've got something nasty planned for her if I don't co-operate, secondly, I kinda feel sorry for you. I mean, it was my ancestor's fault you got so screwed anyway and I guess I should try and make amends somehow. So tell me, what do you, Saeru – Goddess of Dreams, want me to do with your power."

"I want you…" Saeru paused and for a second, Link felt the whole world stop spinning. Her large, golden eyes peered at him and he could feel her power, emanating from the Stone, tearing through his body, searching for deceit and untruth. He kept his gaze fixed on her, not allowing her to intimate him, nor sway his mood. He was not afraid of her but she knew he feared what she could do to Zelda. Suddenly she smiled, her teeth flashed white in the darkness of her beautiful face and she tilted her head. "I want you, Link, son of Lefestra, to make a wish."

"A… wish?" Link closed his mouth abruptly and considered Saeru's face. She smiled sweetly at him but her eyes flashed dangerously. If he wasn't already on his guard, that look would have persuaded him to be extremely cautious about what he said or did next. His eyes moved from her face to the glittering Chameleon Stone, resting comfortably in his palm. It shone with a beautiful light all of its own and offered him the world. If his adventure had taught him anything, it was to be careful what he wished for and as he thought of this, he remembered just what he and Zelda had gone through to get thus far.

"Can't make up your mind, Hero? Are you so torn between your duty and your desire? Remind me again, why did you so desperately crave the Chameleon Stone? Why did you fight so hard to get it back?" Saeru's voice buzzed in his ear, echoing with his own thoughts.

"All those months ago-," he began, slowly as if he was unaware he was speaking his thoughts aloud, "-I had little thought of my duty. The 'Stone had been lost years ago when Calatia fell to the Hylians and I had wandered, cast as a vagabond, for a long time and when I accepted the job of assassinating King Ganondorf, I accepted to sate my desire for money and adventure. But my fate led me to Zelda and in her I knew lay the power to recover my nation's treasure – your heart - and I used her selfishly, drawing you out from your hiding place, unlocking your power."

"Why?" whispered the goddess.

"I do not know. At some point I imagine I thought I could restore my homeland, reclaim the crown even – honour the memory of all the other knights, my friends, who had been killed one-by-one by the Hylians but things changed somewhere along the way and now…"

"And now…?" Saeru repeated his words gently, bewitching him with her voice as she slid over the distance between them. His eyes were fixed intently on the Chameleon Stone. It seemed that all the light in the dark chamber came from him.

"Now…now I remember what it was I first wished for," he snorted quietly with laughter and shook his head, "I have the power of the world in my hand and all I want is what I wanted then."

"And what is that? I can make anything you dream of become a reality."

"Anything I could dream of? Oh, my dreams were never grand, Saeru. I just wanted the means to buy a little farm in the west of Hyrule where I could raise a family and be happy. "

"Is that a wish?"

"It – it…is not a wish. It is a dream." Link's vision suddenly refocused and he lifted his eyes from the Stone back to the Goddess. If he was alarmed to see how close she had drifted he did not show it. His blue eyes seemed to spark in the bright glitter of the Chameleon Stone and his voice was steady, "Nothing you could offer me is worthwhile, Saeru. Dreams are naught but ideas and desires that are never meant to become tangible. They are the starting point from which you must build the solid foundation of what you wish to become your reality, experience and hard work are the only things that should be used to make the impossible possible, not magic or wishes or pacts with the gods."

"Well use my power that as your foundation and the building blocks – consider it a little head-start in this quest of yours. I could give you anything, _anything_ you desire, Link. All it will take is one little request."

"There is nothing you could give me that I want." His eyes were still fixed on hers and he smiled a little, "Oh I know what you would say – you offer me two things, Zelda's heart, and money. You could give me them both yet if you did, how would that really benefit me? I want to win Zelda for my own sake, not because you bewitch her into loving me and I want to earn my dream, not just be granted it for the mere asking for it. I have been selfish my whole life and I think, just this once, I can cope with being unselfish."

"Very noble, but what do you mean?"

"I mean: I am not going to make a wish."

"You aren't?" He shook his head, pleased he had made the right decision, for although she scorned his choice, he saw he had surprised her.

"Not even if I tell you that the only way to save your precious Zelda is to wish for her release?"

"Is that the best you can come up with?" he laughed, "You won't do that. Not whilst I hold your heart."

"Very true, but for just how long do you think you can hold my heart, Little Fool?" Saeru took a step away from him, her golden eyes glowing oddly. The Chameleon Stone began to tremble and throb with anger in his hand. Link's eyes remained on hers, his stance relaxed. "I offered you the world and, fool that you are, you declined. I will ask you once again: will you make a wish?"

"I will not."

"Very well, Link, and just for the sake of formalities, will you return my power to me?"

"I think not."

"Excellent, then we have reached a decision. If you will not make a wish and you will not voluntarily return my power to me, there is but one option left to me." Saeru's beautiful appearance suddenly seemed to slip from her in a thick gloop onto the floor, and from the dark folds of her billowing clothes, a new body appeared, grotesque and wicked in appearance. It seemed to be made of all the worst aspects of a nightmare, both woman and beast, she grew the hairy legs of a spider, the lithe body of a snake and the venomous tail of a scorpion. From her back and all along her sides, long slender spikes grew, each as sharp and beautiful as a sword and from her writhing back sprouted the sinuous black wings of a dragon. She seemed to suddenly fill the void of darkness of the empty throne room, and from her mouth, long yellowy fangs protruded, blood and saliva dripping from them in equal measure. Only her eyes remained the same, beautiful and golden, sparkling and shining and ultimately mesmerising.

"It seems to me you made a bad choice." She whispered; her voice hoarse and deep in the darkness made the walls tremble. Link drew his trusty old sword and tried not to notice how tiny it looked in comparison to the fallen Goddess. For once in his life, he completely agreed with her.

* * *

Oh dear, Link is in deep-doo-doo :) I'll post the next chapter in a couple of days, just to keep the joy of suspense going for as long as I can. As always, it would be nice to hear your opinions on this chapter.


	38. Golden Light of Hyrule

Thank you to **Link's Ocarina Babe** and **Fallen Dragonfly** for reviewing the last chapter :)

So here we go, 1 year 9 months and 14 days after my original post and 220 reviews and 11141 hits, on 30 peoples' alerts and 31 peoples favourite list I give you the final chapters of Chameleon Stone as promised. I didn't post the figures to gloat, rather to just say thank you so very much to everyone who has read this story, and to everybody who has reviewed. I doubt very much whether I would have continued without all your support. I really hope you have enjoyed reading this as much as I have enjoyed writing it and I trust the ending will not disappoint.

Before signing off for good, I would also like to say a big thank you to: **la generala, Booklover13, Link's Ocarina Babe, and Fallen Dragonfly, **for all your kind comments and for reviewing nearly every chapter. Your words really did make my day, and finally A HUGE THANK YOU to **QuinKilo1055** without whose inspiration this story wouldn't have been quite so entertaining, and without his input, Ganondorf would never have gotten a Seeing Stone in the first place, so **THANK YOU.**

There, my speeches are done now, and thanks again to everyone for your comments and support. This is a long chapter, so I won't make you suffer any longer with my author note ramblings. ENJOY!!!

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Eight– Golden Light of Hyrule

Link feinted to the left and then at the last moment, rolled to the right. Just above his head he heard the crash of metal against stone, as Saeru's tail slammed into the wall. The ground thundered at his feet as she yanked at her poison sting, stuck soundly in the thick marble wall. As she pulled quite a few tiles fell from the ceiling.

Gasping for breath, Link sprinted to the opposite end of the room, carefully avoiding Saeru's long spider-like legs. He had learned pretty early on in the fight that the long, spiky hairs protruding from every inch of those black legs was actually as sharp as a dagger and mildly poisonous. One had lodged in his left shoulder when he had tried to strike her with his sword and his whole arm had gone numb instantly afterwards.

His sword had long since been abandoned on the floor, his numb fingers wholly unable to grasp its hilt. He pressed his back against the wall and gazed up at the goddess. She towered above him, exuberant and vocal in her battle, knowing that he would be spend all too soon. She did not turn around to watch as she dislodged her tail, but kept her eerie, gleaming eyes fixed on him, or rather, fixed on the hand that still clutched at the Chameleon Stone.

With a yell that shook the room, her tail finally came loose and in one motion, too quick to follow, she had flicked it over her head. It slammed into the floor just between his legs. For the tiniest of moments, Link stared at it – that red tipped stinger, dripping with venom, and then his eyes lifted of their own accord to Saeru's. That vile, demonic face was grinning at him, and her eyes flashed. Her purple tongue ran over her teeth, as if savouring the flavour of the blood that constantly dripped from within her. Suddenly, her tail flicked away again and Link's trance was broken.

He darted to the left, following the line of the chamber wall. Dogging his every step, he felt Saeru's tail whipping at his heels. Always she missed, sometimes by many feet, other times by the merest whisper of breath. The Chameleon Stone burned in his hand, scorching the skin even as the poison in his shoulder froze his blood.

Above them all hung Zelda's unconscious form, trapped in a pink crystal, like some vulgar chandelier.

As his tired body fell into the wall on the far end of the room, Link couldn't help but wonder if this was all some sort of very bad dream. His sunk back against the stone, desperate to recover his breath.

Suddenly he felt himself lift slightly, at the same time there was a dull thud of flesh and bone being torn immediately followed by a loud metallic 'clang' than spun through the chamber, hurting his ears. Something had pieced his shoulder. He could feel warmth splattering against his cheek and then dousing the left side of his body and tasted tin in the back of his throat. He glanced down.

His right shoulder was pinned to the wall by Saeru's tail. His eyes widened when he saw the lethal injury but brain didn't quite seem to register the fact he had been hurt so badly. He did notice how very heavy he was beginning to feel and how warm his blood felt. He was glad of the numbness, for he was tired – very tired, and he was beginning to realise that all that blood could only mean a serious injury and a serious injury would mean pain. He didn't much enjoy pain.

His vision seemed to be swimming before him, and everywhere he looked, the world seemed to be edged in red and gold. His body felt heavier and heavier. There appeared to be a weight in his hand. He looked down and saw the Chameleon Stone, glowing pure white in the darkness. He blinked and tried to bring the object into focus.

Somewhere in his mind a voice whispered, urged him 'Make a wish, child.' In a very dim sort of way he recognised the voice and in an equally strange manner, he knew he must not listen to that voice but he no longer knew why. A golden-yellowy sort of light hovered above him. With all his strength, although he did not know what prompted him to make the effort, he raised his eyes to see the golden light. Through his drugged, paralysed vision, he saw the most beautiful creature in the world standing before him, holding the hilt of the sword that had ran through his shoulder, pinning him to the wall.

It was she who had attached him to the wall and she did not look in the least bit sorry for what she had done, rather she looked pleased with herself. Her full red lips curved into the most mischievous smirk. "Oh Link," she murmured, running a cold finger down his cheek. It was as if she knew that was the only part of him that hadn't completely frozen, "Just make a wish, Child, and this will all be over."

Her words were uttered in the most pleasing manner, and quite happily Link felt himself becoming bewitched by her beauty. Her smile widened in triumph. He did not notice how dark the room had become. He only saw the depths of her golden eyes.

"Make a wish. Make a wish. Anything you desire shall be yours." Her voice, teasing and light, was almost as a song. Perched precariously between life and death, consciousness and sleep, Link could only agree with her.

"I wish…" he heard himself say. The dim warning in the back of his mind flared briefly but was soon lost in the magic of those beautiful eyes watching him so earnestly, "I wish…for…" Link's head bowed as he felt the weight of it dragging him down. Something in his hand burned and fizzed and the scent of burning flesh drifted past him. He could feel nothing but emotions though, so numbed he was. "I want the power to defeat you…" he smiled peacefully as he slumped forward, his whole weight resting on the hilt of the sword that pinned him to the wall.

"What a waste, you already had that power." Laughed Saeru, as Link's eyes closed. His hand, which had so carefully held on to her heart, relaxed and the glittering, beautiful, deadly Chameleon Stone dropped to the floor with a clatter, sweet like the chiming of a bell.

The goddess took a deep breath, savouring her moment of victory. She had won at the last moment and her heart, though it was not yet a part of her, rejoiced along with her. It sparkled and danced on the floor at her feet. She knelt down and carefully scooped it up, cradling it as one would cradle a bird, a smile on her face, wickedness in her eyes.

She gazed down at Link's dying corpse and spat at it, "Fool, thinking you could defeat me so easily. I am the goddess of darkness and nightmares; I am not so easily subdued." She kicked his feet out of her way and laughed again as he groaned in response. She would have liked to have seen Lefestra himself in such a terrible position, but he was long since dead. Link was just as good. She hated him almost as much as she hated his ancestor. The venom which slowly killed him would only numb the pain for so long. Before the end, his body would feel as though it was on fire, he would writhe in agony, calling for help, but no water could quench his thirst. He would be eaten from the inside out and she would watch and laugh at his agony.

Still, she wondered how he had discovered the true secret of the Chameleon Stone. Even Lefestra hadn't understood that, and he had been the one to almost control her. Her heart quivered in her hand when she realised just how close she had been to defeat. She could not have taken the Chameleon Stone from him had he not used its power to make a wish. Had he not made a wish then he could have destroyed her. He could have shattered her stone heart into a million pieces. He could have done what Lefestra could not bring himself to do. For once a man makes a wish, and glimpses the power that makes his dreams come true he can never bring himself to truly destroy the thing that makes all things possible. Lefestra had only been able to seal her power away for he had used the Chameleon Stone's strength. By refusing to make a wish, Link had come too close to realising the power he had over her.

But Link had failed and she had won and there was nothing more for her to worry about. She inhaled a breath of sheer joy and raised her heart to the sky, as if to toast the Goddesses who had once banished her from their realm and pressed the stone to her breast.

It glittered and pulsed and was warm against her ribs but it was hard and pushed painfully against her breast, cutting her flesh a little. Her smile vanished into a dark, terrible scowl. "What?"

There was a hushed thud from behind her and she swung around. Her eyes narrowed into a vicious glare as she met Zelda's calm gaze. "You!" she snarled.

"Yes, it is I." Zelda smiled a little behind her sheikah mask, and brushed some imaginary dust of the white bands of her wrist guards.

Saeru looked the Hylian up and down slowly, "Forgive me for being rude, but I am curious – do you genuinely prefer dressing as a man?"

Zelda smirked again and brushed some of her blond hair from blood red eyes. She had adopted the form of Sheik – the alter-ego Saeru had once provided for Link when he had asked for a body to match her Sheikah armour - and in her hand, she held Link's discarded sword. She held the sword forward, aiming it at the Goddess' neck and her eyes narrowed slightly.

"I see you still have the very womanly trick of sulking in you, despite that boyish body." Saeru met the red eyes of the Sheikah calmly, if not a little scornfully. "I don't know what you're hoping to achieve though, Zelda. Surely you are not so naive as to think you can both save Link and stop me."

"It seems to me, oh Saeru, that you are the naïve one, or have you forgotten the power you yourself vested in me? It is that same power that gave me the strength to break free from your prison. It is your power that allows me to shift my form, but it is my own power, the light that shines within me bequeathed to me by Lefestra, which will make you fall."

"Those are big words for a little nuisance." From nowhere, Saeru conjured a sword and rested its black blade against Zelda's borrowed weapon. Zelda could feel the power of the goddess quivering through her arms, through her heart and down to her feet but she did not tremble.

"Light must always banish darkness." Replied Zelda, pushing back with enough force to let Saeru know she was in earnest. Sheik's body was much stronger than her own and it pleased her to realise that she could wield such strength. Her red eyes gleamed with a light all their own as she tilted her head forward and whispered, "I know you for what you truly are: you are not really a goddess are you, Saeru?"

Saeru seemed almost to cower away for a moment, and her hand gripped the Chameleon Stone tightly. "You know nothing of what you speak, Child."

"I know exactly of what I speak – I say you are nothing but a demon. A creature of darkness and destruction – you are the terror that lurks in the darkest dreams; the monster hiding under the bed, you seek nothing but to frighten and cow all into submission. But you are not a creature of light. You are a creature of shadow and deceit and I will send you back into the darkness you came from."

"You Fool…"

"Fool? No, I am no fool." Laughed Zelda, in Sheik's low, gentle voice. "You are the fool for thinking you could trick all whom you meet. You saw Lefestra and saw in him something wonderful, something you desired – it is the same thing you desired in Link. You saw his light and his love and you wanted it for yourself. In the darkness of his dreams you watched him, all the while craving him – his love, his worship. You wanted to be his goddess but in the end you could never change who you really are: you traded your heart for his love and for a while you were worshipped. You became Calatia's goddess by granting impossible wishes but you did not understand, you do not understand – the things you can give people are not truly satisfying. That is why Lefestra betrayed you: he did not - could not - love an illusion, and that is all you are. You ape the form of a goddess: beautiful and magnificent, but at heart you are nothing but a vile shadow."

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"

"You are nothing." Repeated Zelda, softly, "And now that your heart has a form and it has been purified and nurtured you cannot take it back into yourself for it has become a thing greater than you will ever be. The Chameleon Stone is the heart of a goddess but you are no goddess."

Saeru screamed at Zelda's words and suddenly she charged forward, sword aloft. Zelda countered the blow and struck back, catching the shadow's hair on the silver blade. As it tore from her head, it fell as powder. Saeru screamed again and thrust her sword forward. Using Sheik's agile form to her advantage, Zelda leapt into the air as her opponent's sword slashed forward and with a beautiful, graceful motion, flipped over the goddess' head. She landed in a kneeling position and spun around, dropping the sword. As she spun, her hair came loose from its bands and tumbled all around her face in a golden halo.

Saeru swung around to face her and faltered. "T-the Golden Light…" she stammered, stepping back against the wall.

From Zelda's hands and feet, a bright light shone. It was the colour of the morning sun. It pierced Saeru's intolerable darkness as easily as the sun pieces shadow, and Saeru cringed and cowered before her. It seemed to Zelda that all of the creature's beauty was melting away. The Chameleon Stone shone brighter and brighter, becoming a star in Saeru's claw-like hand. It trembled and jumped visibly.

"It is over, Saeru, Demon of Darkness."

"It is not over." Wailed the creature, "I am a goddess! I am Calatia's goddess. I reign supreme! I have won!"

"You can never win." replied Zelda, raising her hands skywards. The light beaming from her hands narrowed into a single, long beam. With a loud, long hissing noise, it reverted in on itself, revealing its true nature as a long, gold-bladed rapier with a silver hilt. Zelda held it aloft, catching the sunlight that fell from the roof on its blade. All the while Saeru watched, fearful and cowering.

"If you destroy me, you will destroy yourself! We are bonded!" cried the goddess.

"If that is my fate." Zelda shrugged.

Saeru cried out in alarm, and pushed the Chameleon Stone desperately against her breast, as if trying to reunite her heart with her body, even as Zelda slowly, deliberately, threw the blade forward like a spear. As it left her hand, all of the light in the room was drawn to it and it glowed with fire and a radiance that filled the room, pushing the darkness and shadows back into nothing as it passed.

Zelda, in Sheik's graceful form, dropped to her knees and watched. In her eyes it was as though time had slowed. The golden blade flew forward, straight and true as an arrow, filling the air with the soft melody of wind. White and gold fire poured from its hilt, drenching the room with light, banishing the shadows. And then, with a dull thud, it slammed into Saeru's chest, piercing the beautiful Chameleon Stone and passing through her body on into the black marble wall.

Time stopped and Saeru's illusion shattered. Her beautiful form vanished, the dark throne room shifted back into its true form, and the sword pinning Link to the wall faltered and disappeared and he fell into a muddled heap onto the carpet. The only recognisable feature Saeru had was her eyes, they still burned gold in the darkness of her face but all her beauty had gone, leaving her a twisted, gnarled little creature with a hideous face.

Zelda met her eyes calmly. She felt the disguise of Sheik falling from her body slowly as Saeru's power diminished - the blue and white armour seemed to be tearing, as if Saeru herself was clawing at it. The Chameleon Stone pulsed and burned brightly, white in the golden hue of the room and then suddenly, it cracked. The noise was so loud and piercing it shook the very foundations of the castle. The light sword burned brighter. "Curse you, Zelda." Cried Saeru, her voice was evil and dark, and for a brief moment, Zelda swore she could see tears in the demon's eyes. And then the Chameleon Stone shattered. Saeru screamed; a cry more terrible than any nightmare could conjure. Zelda cringed and turned away. A vile, cold darkness washed over her and then there was silence. She turned back and Saeru and the Chameleon Stone had gone. The golden sword trembled for a moment suspended in the air, the tip of the blade buried in the marble wall, and then it fell. Light caught the blade as it dropped, powerless, its job was done and as it hit the floor with nary a sound, it too shattered into dust.

She realised she had been holding her breath, and slowly she exhaled. She tried to rise from her kneeling position, but her body – even clad in Sheik's skin, was exhausted. She had not realised how of herself she had given in creating the golden light. On her hands and knees she crawled over to Link's side.

The poison Saeru had injected into him was slowly dissipating, and he was regaining consciousness. His injuries were very real though and needed bandaging. Fortunately for him, Zelda's outfit was in itself mostly bandages and she used her wrist and shin guards as dressing for his wounds. At some point he did regain his senses but he did not speak, choosing instead to gaze up at her in wonder. As she tied the last knot she met his gaze and smiled, even though tears dripped down her dust-covered cheeks.

"I thought you were dead." She murmured, crashing into him so she could hug him. He groaned in protest, only because it hurt where she touched him and weakly raised an arm to return her embrace. "Oh Link, don't ever, EVER, do that to me again, you hear!" She rested her cheek against his and felt him smile. She adjusted her position slightly so that she was almost sitting on his lap and she leaned fully against him, sighing. "You know, if I had a wish, it would be to stay like this here in your arms, forever."

"I wouldn't." Replied Link, his voice sounded weak and tired, even to himself.

"Huh? Why?"

She raised her head and looked at him, and he smiled at her and through his weariness, she could see a familiar mischief about him that won an instant response from her. "There are many, many reasons why not, Princess." He whispered.

"Then just tell me the most important reason, Stupid."

He grinned properly then and pushed her away slightly as he voiced his concern: "You're still in Sheik's form. Strange that I still want to kiss you though…"

**

* * *

**

The next few hours were something of a hazy blur, almost as if they had been some form of a dream. A few parts she remembered quite clearly, like when the Judges had burst into the throne room only to find Link and her huddled together in a corner, half-asleep. Of course, the judges didn't recognise her as Sheik and were outraged to discover Link asleep in the arms of some strange looking, half-dressed Sheikah boy. Whether they were more scandalised when the realised the half-dressed boy was actually Zelda, or whether if it just offended them to see how comfortable Link seemed to be embracing her, she did not know, nor care.

Surprisingly, Impa was the one who finally regained her senses enough to realise that both Zelda and Link needed the attention of a healer, and together the pair had been whipped off to the castle infirmary. Zelda vaguely remembered seeing party scenes all around her, and heard people cheering but she did not understand why. She was just too exhausted to take it all in.

It was light when she awoke but she felt as though she had been asleep for a long time. She was in an unfamiliar bed and an unfamiliar room. She noted that all traces of her Sheik disguise had melted away. It seemed all Saeru's influence had been purged from her body. It felt as though a weight she had never known was there had been suddenly lifted. A maid came in soon after she woke, which made Zelda wonder if she was being watched somehow. The young girl was oppressively cheerful, and chatted relentlessly. From her Zelda learned that she had been asleep for a whole day, and that the entire country was in party mode because the Gerudo had all of a sudden fled and somehow everybody believed it was down to her.

Zelda could have easily picked fault with the tale, but as she was quite aware, once a rumour had spread, it would be getting more and more outlandish as it went from ear to ear, each person embellishing the tale with their own take on events, so even if Zelda did correct this one maid and tell her that, in fact, Ganondorf's guards had gotten bored of controlling Hyrule and that his second in command, Nabooru, had used the power of seduction to get him to follow her lead, none of it would matter. The only thing that the people cared about was that the country was free of the Gerudo reign. Hyrule belonged to Hylians.

The maid glanced at Zelda from under her lashes and smiled a little to herself. Their new queen was young and beautiful, and appeared to be hopelessly confused. She couldn't wait to go back downstairs and gossip about her to the other chambermaids. Then she could go and sneak a look at the other injured party: the impossibly handsome Calatian Soldier Rauru and Kru had carried in to the infirmary.

"Oh, Lady Impa said to run you a bath, so I have done, and when you're done if you pull the red chord, I will return with your other maids and we shall kit you out in your finery. Then you've got a meeting scheduled with the Judges. Oh, this is so exciting. Bye!"

Zelda watched the girl go, having avoided speaking one word and she sighed. She recognised there was something odd about how the girl had addressed her, and there had been hints dropped in her conversation about what the nation planned for Zelda, but she had been too tired to pay much attention. But the idea of a bath appealed to her, even if it did conjure up disturbing images of Sir Kwaksalot and Ganondorf.

**

* * *

**

Much later that day she was permitted to wander the castle halls on her own. She had been loaded into a beautiful silk gown. It had long sleeves that hung from her shoulder almost to the floor, and was carefully sculpted and shaped so that it draped over her form, hinting at every curve of her body without purposely showing them off. It was a pale yellow trimmed in dull gold, and had a short train. Her hair had been cut and styled and piled on top of her head, with only one piece placed at each side to frame her face. She had refused all attempts at ladening her hands and neck with jewellery, and she had still not quite figured out why she was being dressed so elegantly.

She entered the Judges quarters in her own unobtrusive fashion, almost slipping into the room like a shadow.

"Ah, there you are, Zelda. Come in, Dear." announced Rauru, his voice booming across the way, making her cringe with embarrassment. She was relieved to note that the room only had four occupants, the three judges and Link. Of course, once she saw Link, she felt as though she couldn't tear her eyes from him. He was dressed with casual finery, made from only the best materials. He wore pale tan leggings, soft black riding boots, a linen shirt and an embroidered silver and blue tunic over it all. Like her, his hair had been cut and styled in the most flattering manner. He was a very expensive-looking peasant. Plus he had one arm in a sling, which made him look even more appealing.

He half-stepped forward as she stepped into the light, his mouth open and then, for possibly the first time in her life, she saw a deep blush cover his cheeks and he stepped back again, his eyes never once leaving her. Suddenly she started to like the clothes she had been forced to wear.

Impa ignored Link and took Zelda's arm, bringing her to stand before them all, her back to the small fire that burned in the grate. "We have heard all of the battle between you and Ganondorf and Saeru from…him…after a fashion, although he is rather vague about what actually happened between you and the goddess but I believe you fought marvellously, unlike certain other people." Impa glanced once at Link and tried not to snort.

"Yes, yes." Continued Kru, bustling forward. "and we are pleased, most pleased that you proved yourself worthy…"

"KRU!"

"Ah, yes, well…hehehe, Pardon." Kru stepped back to the relative safety of his chair by the fire. Impa had already given him her forthright opinion of his behaviour during the battle and it was only by the skin of his teeth (and some costly bribery) that he retained his title as Judge of Hyrule.

"Yes, we'll come to that later. Zelda, you have done well." Said Impa, looking at her companions pointedly, "and in our humble opinion" [Link snorted at this point] "we recognise who you truly are and we recommend to the people of Hyrule our unanimous decision."

"What decision?" Said Zelda, confused.

All three judges then stepped forward into a line and as one, knelt before her. Rauru held a crown above his head.

"What in Hyrule is this?" Stammered Zelda.

"It looks suspiciously like a crown to me." remarked Link from the corner. She cast a swift glare in his direction, which was met by a trademark grin, which made her choke back a giggle. "I know that."

"It is not just any crown," Began Kru, his voice trembling with excitement. "No, it is the crown of Hyrule…"

"The crown of Hyrule?" She repeated blankly. She looked to her companion for guidance but he just smiled blankly at her. "Why are you offering me this?"

"You are the best person to lead Hyrule." Replied Impa. "You have proven your strength by defeating that monster Saeru and banishing Ganondorf."

"Um… well actually it was kind of a joint effort. Link did most of the work, I just mopped up after him." corrected Zelda, with a smile.

"Yes, but you dealt the finishing blow, besides as which, he has a blemished record. He cannot become a King, though there is a debate whether he is actually a Calatian Nobleman or not, the records are not clear on the subject, but it seems to me-," said Rauru, beginning to lose himself in the sound of his own voice. Impa's coughing brought his attention back to the here-and-now. "Anyway, he might not have told you, but he is a convicted criminal."

"Just out of interest, if I wasn't a criminal, would you have asked me to be King?" interrupted Link. He grinned at the Judges faces as they considered this suggestion.

"Well…um…" began Rauru, racking his brains on how to put their absolute, complete and horrified refusal politely.

Fortunately Zelda came to their rescue by giggling, "Come off it, of course they wouldn't, Link. Nobody in their right minds would put you in charge of an entire country. Why, you can't even look after yourself!"

"Sad but true."

­"Yes, well anyway back to the matter at hand." Impa unceremoniously interrupted the young people's mirth in her usual "cheery" manner. "We are offering you the crown."

"Yes, but I don't want it." Replied Zelda gently.

"Y-you…don't…what?" All three judges exclaimed in unison. Impa recovered first, "But… you could be Queen – Queen of this whole nation: Rich and powerful and glorious beyond all imagination!"

Zelda smiled at this thought, "Although I am unable to deny that there is a princess lurking in every girl, I have no interest in actually becoming one."

"B-But…the power! The Prestige! The Riches and Glory! Surely that means something to you?" stammered Rauru. Before his eyes he saw all his magnificent plans of world domination (or something like that anyway) fading before his eyes. Zelda giggled at this and repeated that she had no interest in being Queen.

"Why?" Impa asked, her voice dangerously low.

"I guess I am not that sort of girl." Replied Zelda sweetly. "And besides, that crown is really ugly. I wouldn't want it on my head. It's probably got lice and everything hiding in there."

"We could wash it – I mean you could design a new one." Said Kru.

Zelda considered this for a long moment, sucking a finger, and then she shook her head again. "No thank you. Why are you so desperate for me to be queen? It's not like I am particularly suited to the post."

"I reckon it's because they know you'd let 'em walk all over you." said Link from his corner. "And don't say you wouldn't because I know you are too kind to say no to the old fogies." He jumped from his seat and crossed to her side, his blue eyes alight with laughter and something she had never seen before in their depths – pride. "For the record though, Princess, I think you would make a fabulous Queen."

"Really?" She didn't know what surprised her more – Link's words or the fact he appeared to be acting serious for once.

"I do."

"See, if even an imbecile can see what we do, then you know that it is right and proper for you to accept this crown." Said Kru.

"And yet I would still refuse. I also object to you referring as Link as an imbecile."

"Oh don't worry about that, Sweetheart, they do it all the time. I'm used to it now."

"I know but you are no such thing and I hate them insulting you." She replied, with some heat. She blushed as she caught the look on his face, and the way his mouth curled into a knowing smile.

"I wonder why…?" he mused aloud.

"Do not for a moment suspect it has anything to do with you." Said Impa coldly. She glared at Link, making little attempt to hide her hostility. "In fact, what are you still doing here? I thought we paid you and sent you on your way hours ago."

"You did." He replied cheerfully, his mood only lightened more as he saw Impa's red eyes glint with annoyance. Nothing, he decided, was nicer than spending an afternoon bugging the judges of Hyrule. Well, there was one thing that he liked a lot more… but he didn't rate his chances of getting to kiss Zelda again, given that she was going to become a queen.

"So why are you still here?" Snapped his number one target. She had long since sat up and folded her arms across her chest, and her eyes had narrowed into two little slits of hatred.

"Princess duty," he replied, "since I'm no longer employed by you, I got myself a new job protecting Zelda."

"Have you?" asked his new employer in some amusement. It was the first she had heard about it.

"Yes indeed." He replied. "Did you forget your wish to remain with me forever? And that kiss that never was, if you hadn't been Sheik at that moment, I would have repeated precisely what happened in the Gerudo cell. Remember that?"

"I can't say that I do." She lied. "Unfortunately, your insanity must have rubbed off on me along our journey and I cannot for the life of me remember having agreed to have you around more than necessary but, oh well, if you insist I won't object."

"Um, Zelda, please may we draw your attention back to the matter at hand?" pleased Rauru, desperately. "You are destined to be Queen of Hyrule. It is in your blood, you really cannot decline such power. You cannot decline serving your country in such a manner, can you?"

"Yes." Said Zelda.

"No." Said Link. He met her accusing glare with an apologetic look. "I mean you cannot back out of your duty. If you are truly the heir to the throne, you should really take the offered crown, although I admit it is ugly and, even set upon your fair beauty, it will look hideous. It must be in your blood to rule - I mean, you boss me around no end already – I guess it comes naturally to you. And even though you may dislike the idea, if it is your duty, you should do it. Sometimes you have to be unselfish if it's for the good of others."

Zelda's eyebrows, already raised rather high by the beginning of this speech, began to ache. She wondered if they had touched her hairline yet. It sure felt that way. "I can be selfish." She retorted. "And since when have you been a paragon of virtue? I am yet to see you do a single unselfish act…all right, so maybe you've been pretty much selfless when it comes to me, but you know it yourself - you're the most selfish, idiotic man I've ever met. And this isn't just putting myself out a little - this is huge! I can't be Queen."

"Why not? You could learn." Said Link.

"Because I don't want to."

"But you might have to, Brat!" He laughed.

"It is incredible, the lunatic actually made sense." Muttered Impa loudly. "Praise be to the gods!"

"Hey, now that's unkind." Retorted the "lunatic", desperately hurt.

Zelda gazed at them all for a long moment and thought about what was being offered to her. To be Queen of Hyrule – to be rich, courted, adored and powerful, she could not deny it was a tempting offer. She imagined what her life would be like: she would wear beautiful gowns, she would never have to toil again, she would lack nothing, she would dine on the finest foods and drink the best wines and she would be adored and worshipped wherever she went. She could have anything she wanted. Everything bar one thing: her freedom. She had no doubt that Link was right, the Judges would have some reason for wanting to install her as Queen, and it probably because she would let them manipulate her. Her life would be mapped out. Everything she did, from dressing to eating would be chosen for her.

That would also include whom she was allowed to befriend and glancing at the one thing in the room that would be forever denied to her from that point on, if she accepted, her mind was made up.

"I cannot do it. I am sorry." She said softly. "There are some things I cannot give up. You can offer me all the riches in the world but it would not buy my happiness, and I know if I accept your proposition, you will take away the one thing in the world that keeps me in a happy state of nervous dread over what he will say or do next, but I couldn't live without."

"Princess?" Link's voice was unusually quiet. "What are you…?"

"I hope you are not saying what I think you are…" Began Impa.

"You wouldn't let me marry the man I love, would you?" replied Zelda before Impa could finish.

"LOVE? You don't love _him_, do you? That is preposterous. A girl like you – beautiful, educated, refined and him – an idiot oaf with nothing to his name but a nice smile…"

"…It is a very nice smile…" interrupted Link mischievously.

"Silence, Fool." snapped Impa. She turned her glower back to Zelda and almost screamed, "I raised you better than this. I cannot believe you would turn down an entire Kingdom for this idiot. He will leave you unhappy, penniless and alone and you will die a pitiful widow all because you think you can change him. You would give up the world for this buffoon. He is a joke and he means nothing but bad for you, my girl, and…"

"WHOA." Bellowed Link suddenly, he turned to Impa, his eye flashing with such anger that even she felt a little daunted. "I don't mind you insulting me, you can say what you like, it's probably all true, but I WILL NOT let you make out that I am some kind of swine that would deliberately make Zelda unhappy." Since he had taken the precaution of sliding closer to Zelda with every word Impa had said, he took the opportunity to take his arm from its sling and wrap it around her, safe in the knowledge that it was unlikely she would push him away, and with his other hand, tilted her chin so that she faced him. "I do think you are making a mistake, turning down all that money just because you like me, but I'm not going to complain!"

"I don't just like you, Link." She corrected him, gently, gazing right into his eyes. "I love you. I think I always must have done, for I am never myself if I let you out of my sight."

"Either that or you are just scared stiff that I'll get up to no good if you take your eyes off me and you're terrified of the potential consequences. However, if you chose to interpret that as being in love with me, I won't contradict you. It's kind of how I feel anyway. You always get into trouble if I'm not around, and I worry about you. And I promise I will do everything I possibly can to make you happy, my Princess. Although I doubt I could top turning down a kingdom! I will have to think of something more outlandish than that."

She smiled at him. For a long moment they just grinned at each other rather stupidly and then he lowered his head, and kissed her. And suddenly the world and all the irritating judges that inhabited it, vanished. And because Zelda actually responded favourably he decided it was the best experience EVER, even though it did unleash a whole swarm of butterflies in his stomach, and even though Zelda was a little enthusiastic and zapped him a little bit. Or at least that's the explanation he came up with when his knees tried to give way and he had to cling on to her so tightly that they almost fell over.

"Oh, very well, you can marry him and be king and queen together." Coughed Rauru after a pause, where all three judges turned away in acute embarrassment as the hero and his princess shared a passionate embrace. This remark brought them to their senses.

"WHAT?" Thundered Impa.

"Pardon?" Exclaimed Zelda.

"Oh, no you don't!" Laughed Link "After all of my lecturing Zelda on the merits of being unselfish I couldn't possibly accept your offer. I'd be doing it for all the wrong reasons, believe me. So I'll be unselfish too and refuse."

"I'm so glad you said that," said Zelda, as she rested her head back against his uninjured shoulder. "For a moment there, I thought the lure of so many rupees at your disposal would tempt you into doing something stupid. I mean – imagine you as King Link of Hyrule!"

Link pulled a face and for a second allowed his mind to imagine all the mayhem he could cause as a monarch. The thought made a twisted, if not slightly evil grin appear on his face. It was still there when he looked back down at Zelda but he said, quite seriously, "I couldn't possibly accept. I mean, if I refuse, that makes us even, doesn't it? We've both turned down a kingdom for the sake of the other. If I didn't say 'no' then I'd be stuck forever in your debt. And that would be intolerable."

"Wow, a new word." Exclaimed Zelda. "Where d'ya learn that, Linkipoo?"

"Hey, less of it, _Princess._"

"Don't call me that, you know I hate it."

"Could be worse, it could be _Queenie._" He retorted unrepentantly.

Rauru sighed in desperation and glanced at Impa for help. She was livid at the sight of her precious charge - her one hope of total world domination – willingly accepting kisses off that moron (and even returning them), giggling at his jokes and sighed. She rolled her eyes at Rauru, the two enjoying a rare moment of empathy with each other.

"If you give up this opportunity, the world will never know of your deeds." She said as a last ditch attempt to get them to reconsider. Appealing to Link's vanity might work, she thought. She caught his attention at least, but did not trust the asinine grin attached to his face. "Um, if you retire to a simple life of-of farming, no-one will remember your name. You won't be a hero anymore – and isn't that what you wanted – to be a hero?"

"No, I wanted a peaceful life which I intended to buy with the money I'd earn from you, and maybe a degree of notoriety thrown into the bargain, but then I found something I wanted more than all of that put together, and as she wants me too, I am perfectly content." Replied Link, "I'm sorry, Judge Impa. I seem to thwart your every plan, don't I?" He smiled at Zelda and added, with an all too familiar glint in his innocent blue eyes, "There may yet be a hope for you yet – why don't you and Rauru get together. If you spawn a brat, I mean, make a baby – um – you could control that to your heart's desire, make _it_ King or Queen. We wouldn't say a word in protest."

The sound of Zelda's choking at this only made his evil grin widen, and to his delighted amusement, he saw the thought actually take root (in Impa's mind at least). He saw her taking a long, secret look at Rauru and felt sorry for the hapless man. Neither judge was past his or her prime, so it wasn't an entirely unlikely occurrence. But it was a funny thought.

Unfortunately Impa caught his glance and glared at him. "Ridiculous. The very thought offends." She snapped. But she did look at Rauru again. Perhaps the lure of power would overcome her obvious distaste. As Zelda and Link started laughing again, she sneered at them, "You have made a foolish decision and I swear you will regret this day. You turned down fame and fortune, and for what…?"

"Happiness and contentment." Sighed Zelda, happily "besides, we can always tell the story to our children…"

"Children? Um… I wasn't consulted about this." interrupted Link. "Can I object?"

"Only if you want a life of celibacy, Linkipoo." She replied, making at least three people in the room blush.

"I certainly do not want a life of celibacy, thank you. Children it is – hundreds and thousands of 'em… Whatever. We can always sell them to Impa if money gets tight. She owes me one for that suggestion." Retorted Link. He was not embarrassed. It was debatable whether he knew how to be or not. "I wonder if Rauru will face such a fate?" He wondered loudly. "Will Impa let him…?"

"Enough. You have made your position clear." Said Impa hastily, "Now if you are sure you are going to turn down this incredible opportunity offered to you, then I must bid you farewell."

"And I must too," Said Rauru, "Really, there is so much to resolve. But I thank you so much for all your help, Link…"

"Rauru, that is enough." Snapped Impa.

"No… I mean it, thank you, Link." He continued stoically in the face of severe opposition (that being Impa's intense glare). "I am sorry that you feel you cannot continue your relationship with us and I wish you and…ow…" He held a hand to his ear, which had just been clipped by an irate Sheikah judge. It was left to Kru, who was just slightly out of her reach, to finish the sentence, "We wish you both very happy." He said benevolently; as if he had approved of their relationship from the word go. "And we pray for the goddesses blessings to be poured out upon your glorious heads, and for your brood to be plenty, your years long and your…oooo that hurt…" Kru's hand went to his ear, and he glowered at Impa.

Link grinned at this and said, "A very commendable speech, and I thank you for employing me. I bet you're regretting it now. I will bid you farewell too, and, Rauru, I wish you the best of luck, Brother! I feel for you, I really do. I promise I will take excellent care of Zelda." He smiled at her and hugged her again "And thank you all for the offer of more rupees than I could shake a stick at. But I really don't think your offer was that good, you know."

"It wasn't?" Repeated Impa. "You think being offered the position of King is worthless? I always knew you were a brainless oaf."

Link smiled irritatingly at her, making her hands positively itch with longing to slap him. "The King thing was pretty amazing, especially considering you all hate me. No, dearest Impa – it was the other thing you offered me. The one thing you couldn't deliver. That's what threw me."

"And what was that?" She crossed her arms over her chest in a familiar gesture, but it seemed it was more of a comfort to her than an outward show of irritation.

"Fame – you said we'd be legends."

"And so you would have been." She retorted. "But that opportunity has gone forever and you will regret it for the rest of your pitiful lives."

Link grinned sweetly at her and shook his head. "I don't think so. I mean - who on earth would want to hear a legend about Zelda and a stupid Lizard Pebble anyway?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------THE END-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- :)


	39. Epilogue

Epilogue

The problem with doing so great a deed is that you will either become a legend or you will be forgotten. It usually happens the way you least desire. Which naturally meant that as soon as Link and Zelda emerged from the castle, walking arm-in-arm, smiling happily, dreaming of a "quiet" shared future (though how Zelda could picture serenity with her crazy Link was quite unfathomable) they were accosted by a massive crowd who were singing and dancing wildly, almost as if they were paid actors in a farce.

The crowd had not been paid. They were thoroughly enjoying an impromptu party, which had been going on for at least two days now now, and as nobody knew who was paying for the goods but it certainly wasn't them, drink and food were in abundance. On seeing the heroes of Hyrule, there was a roar from the crowd and they began clapping and cheering.

Link took this in his stride, grinning and waving at everyone. Zelda blushed an unattractive beetroot red and hid behind Link. Only when it became apparent that the crowd was not shouting "Hershey Mint" as she had originally thought, but "Hail! King Link" did Zelda panic.

"No-no, you're wrong. He's not the King!" She shouted, or at least attempted to shout above the din of the crowd. There came another cheer.

"Hail! Queen Zelda." Shouted the crowd happily.

"NO!" She repeated. "I am not Queen!"

One or two of the townsfolk nearest hear heard this and shook their heads. "Shesh shnot gotta crown-hic."

Zelda cast a look of desperation at Link and saw to her dismay he was beginning to get enthusiastic about the idea after all. His blue eyes were lit with amusement, and a particularly angelic smile curved the corners of his mouth beautifully. He was still waving randomly but she knew, from her long association with him, he was up to something.

"Don't even think about it." She hissed in his ear.

"Think about what, Beloved?"

"You are not going to become King…"

"Why not? King Linkipoo the First sounds like quite a catchy name to me!"

"But you've just turned this down!" She glanced nervously at one or two people in the crowd and cringed as they started shouting their names even louder.

"Did I?" Murmured Link. "I must have been mad!"

"What about your dream of a peaceful farm life?"

"A castle's just a very, very, very big farm with lots of rupees in the basement."

"Link...you promised."

Link paused and smiled down at her. "I promised I will make you happy, Zelda. I will do whatever you ask of me."

"Good, well…oof." There was a sudden gasp as a huge bolt of light shot from Zelda's body into the sky. Two things had happened that caused this unnatural occurrence. The first was that some drunken idiot had tumbled into her. The second was that she had managed to tumble into Link's arms and seeing it as an opportunity to demonstrate his feelings (in case she was in any doubt), he had lifted her off her feet and kissed her with a clear lack of concern towards any of the unfortunates who happened to witness this brazen lack of public decency.

Understandably, Zelda was more than a little flustered by this. Especially when the crown began to sing "YAY FOR QUEEN ZELDA!" coupled with the more lewd chant of "HYRULE NEEDS HEIRS!"

"No you're wrong! I'm not going to be..." Cried Zelda, her voice was completely drowned out. She gazed up at Link in desperation.

"Do you want me to stop them?" He asked. "Say the word and I'll whisk us away to our little farm in the hills!" He leaned in a little closer and whispered in a deliciously wicked tone, "Just think about this though – how angry would it make Impa if we go through with this?"

That was obviously a serious consideration. Zelda continued gazing at him for a long moment, considering his words and thinking about what they had both accomplished. They had defeated the Dream Snatchers, they had banished Ganondorf and his rubber duckies (though Sir Kwaksalot was still at large somewhere in the world), and had destroyed Saeru and her wicked power, and whilst it could be argued that Link had done it to save her from a horrible fate, she had done it with a sense of duty to her country. It was apparently what her grandfather had wanted and indeed what the country expected and wouldn't that make her a good queen? And besides, she thought, glaring at the back of another person who had just bumped into her, it was perfect revenge on the crowd for getting so drunk. Just wait 'til she inflicted her Link on them!

"Fine! Fine! I accept. We accept! JUST BACK AWAY WILL YOU!" Yelled Zelda, shoving another person out of the way. She gazed up at Link and smiled a little ruefully, "I trust you're happy now?"

Link smiled down at her, for once being completely sincere and took her hands in his. "I am always happy when I am with you." He replied, gently. His blue eyes shone with a depth of emotion that she had never seen before, and it tugged at her heart. Suddenly he grinned again and added, "And now that we are going to be fabulously wealthy and powerful and married, that makes everything triple-better but even if we were going to be paupers with nothing but the rags on our backs and a lifetime of back-breaking toil to look forward to, as long as I had you, life would be delightful because I love you so very much."

"Oh Link..." cried Zelda, as she flung herself into his embrace again. "That was the most ridiculously cheesy, most beautiful thing I've ever heard! I love you too." A few people around them, on witnessing this had to get out their handkerchiefs and dab at their suddenly moist eyes. The rest of the crowd saw this as final acceptance of their drunken proposition and took matters into their own hands.

"HURRAH! BRING MORE WINE!" They cheered, cracking open a couple more barrels of the best wine they had found in the cellar of Hyrule castle.

"ZINK! LELDA!! ZENK! BABIES! HEIRS! MORE WINE!" The chants were getting jumbled, and incoherent songs (some of them rather dubious in content) about them were sung, and the pair was frog-marched to the nearest church where they could be first joined together as husband and wife and then ordained as brand new King and Queen of Hyrule. And as soon as that was accomplished, the party continued for a long, long time.

In their defence, most of the crowd were extremely drunk by this point but their doom was sealed. It wasn't long before the full glory of Link's slightly 'exuberant' personality was unleashed on the poor, unsuspecting Hylians, and whilst it could never be said that they regretted their decision to enthrone him, for he was actually quite a good king (when he was being serious), and was always ready to open a bottle of wine for his visitors or entertain them with rather embellished tales of his travels, it was well documented that they were overjoyed to see that their many children inherited the Queen's more sedate personality.

And as for Impa's reaction...

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So there we are - its completed! Thanks again for reading, I hope you had fun and sorry if I upsest anyone by being mean about their favourite characters *cough*ruto*cough*impa*cough*. Let's just hope this incarnation of Link never makes it into a real Zelda game... :p

Thanks again,

Lupi Loop XX

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